Safe
by chips2
Summary: Non-canon Stendan. 'Whodunit'/'Boy meets boy'. Hard 'M'.
1. Kevin

The end of the working week was usually a time when stress levels were high and people needed to unwind. At least, that was the reason why Ste was in bed with Kevin. The older man wanted relief from the daily shit he put up with. He had called Ste earlier in the day saying he couldn't wait to see him and that Ste would be 'just what the doctor ordered'.

So they met up and a drizzle of small talk over drinks (non-alcoholic for Ste) led to a roll in the hay.

Kevin collapsed on top of Ste panting harshly and shuddering uncoordinatedly as he climaxed. Ste felt the dampness of his skin, the goose pimples and the tremble but he could not share in the elation, joy and temporary loss of control that came with cumming.

He lay on his back with his legs parted to accommodate Kevin's large frame. He was naked except for the remains of his torn t-shirt clinging to his chest. His hands were tied to the bed and he was blindfolded.

Kevin had been rougher with him this evening than he normally was. Ste assumed reasons included crap at work, a nagging ex-wife and spoilt adult children who behaved like trust fund kids.

That must have been why he had been so brusque to make Ste consider using the safe word because the lad had never voluntarily reached his upper limit pain threshold like he had tonight.

The role-playing may have gone a little too far.

Kevin quickly took Ste out of his constraints and whipped his blindfold off. He looked down at the lad incredulously.

"That was fucking incredible." He said breathlessly.

Ste smiled and said. "Yeah. I know."

He automatically wrapped his legs around Kevin's sizable waist, just about able to link his ankles behind the other man's back and cocked his head back to stare up at the intricate cornicing of the ceiling.

The bigger man kissed a wet path over his collarbone, neck and up the angle of his jaw as he ruminated over how he preferred this hotel room to the one they had done it in a week ago.

"I like this room better than last week's." He said as he felt Kevin's hands wander lazily over his body.

"It's the same hotel." The older man mumbled while nuzzling against Ste "The rooms are identical."

They weren't but Ste let it slide.

Kevin was used to spending his cash and living in wealth. He didn't look at the detail in the opulent surrounds he existed in because he was used to them. They didn't fascinate him. Not the way they intrigued Ste.

He sighed when Kevin licked a nipple then worried the area just above it, coming off the bed at the feel of the older man's tongue on him like he craved the touch.

He knew he looked convincing because Kevin said,

"You like that?"

"Yeah."

"Did you like this?" Kevin growled into his ear as his fingers dug into Ste's already bruised hips causing the young man to bite back a wince.

"Um hum." Ste mumbled through clenched teeth, bearing the pain.

"You liked the spanking?" Kevin demanded breathlessly.

"Yes." Ste sighed.

"Because you are a dirty little boy."

"Yes."

"Did you like it when I fucked you?" Kevin nibbled at his ear and caressed his hand lightly and teasingly down Ste's body.

"Always."

Ste couldn't help a small gasp of pain when Kevin's hands gripped his bright red sore arse cheeks to push their hips together.

"You okay?" Kevin asked in concern.

"Yeah." But he wasn't and it was ridiculous to lie to Kevin. They had known each other a few months now. He deserved the truth.

"Actually no, Kev. I'm a bit sore. You went a little crazy there."

Kevin looked suitably mortified.

"But it was still totally hot." Ste said, purring out the words so that they were like auditory honey. Like calamine lotion on a nettle sting designed to make Kevin feel better.

His hands felt the soft contours of middle-aged skin. "But I should go now. You've got to get ready to pick up your daughter... and you're suffocating me so-"

"Shit!" Kevin gasped as he looked at the bedside clock.

Friday evening. Six pm. His daughter was flying into Liverpool International from France in an hour and staying with him for a few days.

He quickly got off Ste and jumped off the hotel bed with more grace than could be expected from someone of his considerable size. "Shit! Shit!"

He grabbed a towel and rushed to the en-suite bathroom keeping the door open and jumping into the shower in no time. He spoke loudly to Ste over the sound of water hitting ceramic.

"Fuck! I'm going to be late!"

"You'll be fine. Just say that your last business meeting of the day overran." Ste called back as he gingerly sat up and traced the cum on his chest and stomach with a finger. "You've made a right mess of me."

"Did I? Sorry. I got carried away. I didn't mean to blow all over you."

"It's okay but I'll have to-"

"Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to tell me."

Ste could hear the splatter of water, the slap of a wash cloth on skin and the hum of an unrecognisable tune from Kevin.

He really wanted to clean up but the thought of sharing the space with Kevin held no appeal. The bigger man would probably block all the water from him. So Ste settled back into the bed and studied the ceiling of the room once again.

As strange as it might seem given the context he thought of his children. Just two of them but they were his world. He hoped that one day they would be able to take posh cornicing and high ceilings for granted in a way their father couldn't. That they wouldn't want for anything because they deserved so much more than he was currently able to give them.

He did not look down at his body as he traced over his sore body; all caused by Kevin's firm grip and slaps during sex. His fingers touched the frayed edges of his t-shirt and it reminded him of how Kevin had torn off his underwear and ripped his t-shirt to shreds. It was a t-shirt that he loved because Amy had given it to him for his twenty-first birthday present.

Bloody Kevin.

The older man walked back into the room dripping a trail of water while he used an inadequately sized towel to dry his hair.

"Alright, sexy?" He winked at Ste. Then he laughed his familiar guttural bark. "Shit on a stick!"

He pointed at Ste's shirt as it hung off the younger man's slim frame, unknowingly rubbing salt into the wound when he said,

"Did I do that?"

Ste nodded and slowly got out of bed wincing only slightly at the discomfort he felt. "Yeah. You'll have to take it a little easier on me next time, yeah?"

Ste liked Kevin. Despite his preference for rough sex, the man was actually a bit of sweet heart. Still Ste had to know that he was safe in Kevin's hands and not be frightened at the prospect of seeing him again.

Kevin walked up to Ste; a naked jiggle of blubber, dark course body hair and limp spent cock. He grabbed Ste's chin between his thumb and forefinger to force the lad to look at him then said,

"Hey, next time I am a little too rough tell me to stop, yeah? I don't want you hurting. I mean, it has to be a good kind of hurt. If it's not let me know." He leaned in to give Ste a gentle kiss then whispered, "Okay?"

Ste nodded.

Kevin gave him a sly smile. He looked at Ste's chest and said, "You don't understand how fucking hot you look like that. Covered in my cum."

"You're a right romantic, ain't ya?" Ste said cockily but he went with it. It paid to keep Kevin sweet.

So rather than running off to the shower straight away he stayed put and gave Kevin a grin.

"You know it." Kevin got dressed quickly. "Okay. I've got to go but the room is paid for tonight so you may as well enjoy it. Easy on the mini-bar, internet and pay-per-view though or I'll be deducting."

Dressed in trousers and shirt he reached for his suit jacket and put it on.

"Okay." Ste stepped in closer to Kevin, into his personal space, gave him a bold determined look and reached for the man's cock through his clothes. He licked his lips showing Kevin he was happy with what he found and then pulled his hand away.

It was a move designed to make Kevin feel desired and, as anticipated, it had the desired effect.

Kevin was putty in Ste's hands.

"Well maybe you can order room service and watch a movie or whatever you fancy."

"Thanks, Kev." Ste replied with a smile. "You are amazing."

Kevin laughed then. "God, you are good at this, aren't you? You know just what to tell a man to make him feel good."

Kevin was CEO of a packaging company with a huge turnover and a net worth that made him obscenely affluent.

"Nobody has your touch, Caden." Kevin put on his shoes and grabbed his wallet and briefcase. "Same time next week?"

Ste smiled as he walked Kevin to the door of the hotel room, unashamed of his nakedness. For a second he was struck by how different they were at that moment on a purely superficial level.

Fat/thin. Older/younger. Dressed/naked. Clean/dirty. And yet they had a simpatico. They both took and received from each other.

"Can't wait." He said.

Kevin started to close the door then stopped and grinned, "Oh yeah. Nearly forgot."

He reached into his wallet and took out a huge wodge of twenty pound notes. He carefully counted them and placed them into Ste's waiting palm.

"There you go. As always, worth every last pound."

"Thank you, Kev. See you next week."

{~}

Caden:

Escort currently serving: Chester, Liverpool

Phone number: 07********9.

21 year old. Slim but toned. Friendly. A bit shy. A bit naughty. Very discreet. Open minded and open to role play including boyfriend. Available for companionship, dinners, travel partnering. Professional. Satisfaction 100% guaranteed. See pictures.

Only serving Chester and Liverpool areas.

Weight: 10st 3oz

Height: 5 ft 9 in

Body hair: Smooth

Build: Lean/swimmer

Eye colour: Blue

Hair colour: Brown

Foreskin: Uncut

Cock size: 7 in

Safe sex: Always safe

Sexual position: Versatile

Sexual orientation: Gay

Smoking : Non-smoking

Alcohol: Light-moderate

Drugs : You can

Tastes: Oral, Anal, Vanilla, Kissing, Role-playing, Spanking

Talents: Massage, Stripping, Travel companion

Overnight rate: £1000

Out/In rate: £250

Weekend rate: Ask me for details

{~}

Brendan scanned the profile that was up on his computer tablet. He looked through a few others but kept coming back to the same one.

Caden.

Intriguing. His profile was different to the others. More professional. Polished. But it didn't end there. It was less aggressive but no less confident.

Brendan hovered the arrow over the close icon of the profile.

To hire or not to hire? That was the question.

There were times in life when a man's needs got to a point where they needed to be satisfied one way or another. Brendan had reached that point tonight. He had gone nearly three months without any action and he needed release. It wasn't just about sexual frustration. It was about work and Walker doing his fucking head in. And the Irishman needing to let off some steam through a pressure valve... a cute, preferably flexible, human pressure valve.

Sure he could go out into Chester and play the game. Cat and mouse. Seduce and entice. Divide and conquer. But Brendan wasn't in the mood for the song and dance that came with trying to hook up on a busy Friday night in the bustling town. He had neither the time nor the inclination to buy into the prevailing gay culture of preening, flirtation, scoping the talent and balancing who you fancied against who you felt you could realistically get. It had a tired, jaded and almost desperate feel to it. Out on the pull again and again and again.

Brendan could go out and watch from the sidelines as men and women bought drinks or had them bought for them until some eventually slipping off into bed with a stranger because their drug-addled or alcohol-fuelled brain had beautified, intellectualised or glorified their average Joe conquest into a demigod or goddess. Proceed to fumbling, awkward unsatisfying potentially unsafe sex followed by shame, awkwardness, pregnancy and health scares when the beer goggles came off in the morning.

The shocking misjudgement and misstep of the previous night would be revealed in the cold light of day.

No. Brendan didn't have time for that shit. He needed a cleaner solution to his desires and needs tonight. He needed someone to make him forget his problems, not bring in another crateful.

He hadn't used this escorting website before. It looked like an independent venture. But he had used escorts before. Twice. On both occasions he was still married to Eileen and he had been away on business. Running both to and from the truth about himself.

Now he owned who he was. He was never going to be a gay crusader but he knew that men did it for him.

Simple.

Tonight he wasn't asking for much. Just a decent blowjob and maybe an erotic massage with a happy ending from a nice looking guy.

He picked up his phone and rang the number at the top of profile page. It took several rings before someone picked up.

{~}

Ste was freshly showered but hadn't bothered to dry himself, preferring instead to wrap himself up in one of the hotel's courtesy soft white bathrobes. He had decided that Kevin was right. He might as well stay overnight and relax especially since there was no one at home waiting for him.

So having ordered room service he was now enjoying watching an action movie when he heard his work phone go off.

I reached for it while muting the volume on the television.

"Hello. Caden here. How can I help you?"


	2. The Dirty Dozen

_**The response to this story has been overwhelming. Thank you so much! I didn't think it would catch on if I'm honest. I thought the subject matter would be too unsavoury for some but I'm please to see that we are of similar minds (!)**_

_**As a thank you here is Chapter 2 quicker than I would normally send out.**_

_**Chips**_

_**x**_

{~}

"Hello. Caden here. How can I help you?" Ste said.

Brendan changed his mind the second he heard the escort's voice. He put the phone down on the man. He was in his flat in Hollyoaks so he allowed himself a loud groan of frustration.

Caden sounded like a kid and with their fourteen year age difference (he counted them; fourteen fucking years) the escort's youthful voice was enough to sway Brendan out of hiring him. He wanted an equal in bed; not some sub.

The Irishman walked to his living room and began to pace as pent up frustration and carnal hunger rose to epic levels. After a moment's thought he grabbed his leather jacket, wallet and phone made his way out of his flat.

He was left with no choice. He would have to tackle Chester town.

In a hotel in Chester, just half an hour's drive away, Ste listened to his phone's dead tone with little surprise.

It wasn't unusual to get dropped or missed calls on his work line. Men frequently lost their bottle when trying to access escorting services. Ste imagined it was because of a guilty conscious, getting caught in the act by a wife or boyfriend or rethinking the need to pay for sex.

Normally he would ignore such non-calls but he was thinking of returning this particular call. The reason was linked to what he had just been through with Kevin.

Over the last few hours Ste had thought about whether it was worth keeping him as a client. Not only was Kevin a bit of loose cannon in bed but the older man was also costing Ste money since he couldn't meet up with any other clients in the state he was in.

Maybe this was an opportunity to find a new regular to add to the eleven he would have left once he said bye to Kev.

Amy called Ste's regulars 'the dirty dozen' and it was a pretty fitting name. These filthy older men were willing to part with their cash to get their hands on Ste, providing him with a steady flow of income and a professional attitude to their interactions with him.

As far as Ste was concerned the arrangement worked well. He preferred that, on the whole, he wasn't having sex with complete strangers unless one of his regulars brought a buddy or two to proceedings.

However he knew that at the end of the day he was still getting paid in exchange for sexual favours.

Society would never understand that what he provided was a service that one in five men indulged in and that probably provided stability rather than chaos or that he had tried to get a 'normal' job but that doors had been slammed in his face repeatedly.

Or that eventually he had had to make a decision to either live on the breadline claiming benefits while feeling an inordinate amount of shame at letting his two children and Amy down or to sacrifice the value he placed on intimacy and his body in order to give his family a better chance in life.

Society wouldn't understand what he had had to let go of.

And now, with Kevin about to be booted out of the _Dirty Dozen_, Ste would have to either take up random hook ups or replace the businessman with another regular.

He pressed ring back on his phone and listened to the dial tone.

Would the potential client be a hook up or a future regular?

Brendan's phone rang in his jeans as he locked the main door. He raised a surprised eyebrow when he recognised the eleven digit number as the one he had rang just a few moments ago.

"Caden." Brendan said.

"Um. Yeah. I think you called my number a moment ago." Ste's voice went up at the end making the statement into a question.

"Yes. I did." Brendan said, intrigued by the call. He hadn't appreciated the accent before. It was regional. Mancunian? Brendan wondered.

Why was the kid ringing? What did he want?

"Right. So when did you want to meet up?" Ste's voice was a seductive purr. He was going in for a hard sell.

Bam. Right in there. The lad hadn't even asked Brendan who he was, what he wanted or for how long.

_Jesus. He is forward_, Brendan thought. _I could be a nutcase for all he knows_ _and he still sounds too fucking young._

"It was a mistake." Brendan said.

"You what?"

"The call." Brendan clarified. "I changed my mind."

There was a long pause on the other end that made the Irishman think Caden had put the phone down. He would have understood if the escort had. There was no time in his own life for time wasters.

But Brendan also had no time for stupidity and Caden had demonstrated exactly that within a couple of sentences. The lad was playing with fire if he was suggesting meeting up with potential clients before finding out a single thing about them.

Clearly he didn't know what he was doing.

"Oh. Okay then." Ste said shortly. "Have a nice Friday night."

The unexpected good wish unbalanced Brendan.

What was the lad's deal?

Was he new to the game, naive, over-trusting or just plain stupid?

"Oh, I will." Brendan said. He was about to end the call but something stopped him. In a move that was completely out of character he mumbled,

"You want to be careful, kid."

"What do you mean?" Ste asked.

He was beginning to think this was a bad idea. He was out of practice and he wasn't in the right frame of mind to talk to a potential new client.

He was still a little shaken from what had happened.

Brendan said, "A man's instinct is to get what he wants. He stops at nothing to get it. That is why they call _you_, Caden. You get them when they are charged up. Testosterone flowing. You got to be careful. Understand?"

Ste didn't reply straight away and Brendan knew he was speaking out of turn; a would-be client giving advice to a high class prostitute about being careful around horny men.

It was laughable.

Ste gripped his phone tightly in anger. The escort had neither the time nor the inclination to listen to a stranger lecture him about the dangers of his job. He was well aware of them.

What he did was a calculated risk. So, for example, now that he had realised that the risk of keeping sexually aggressive Kevin on his books far outweighed the benefit of his fat pay check Ste was going to ditch the millionaire businessman.

"I'm not stupid, you know. I _am_ careful and I can defend myself." Ste said with an edge of indignation. "I don't need advice from a client thank you very much."

Brendan chuckled after a moment.

"What's so funny?" Ste asked.

"I'm not your client..." Brendan said, feeling a spark of excitement.

Then he thought, _yeah, this could work. There is something about this lad. He is fiery. Passionate. If that translates to the bedroom then..._

"... Yet."

"Beg your pardon?"

"I said I am not your client _yet_." Then Brendan asked, "What are you doing now?"

"Um." Ste was wrong footed. This guy was confusing. One minute he didn't want to hire Ste, and then he was giving out unwelcome advice like Amy gave to him all the time and now was saying he wanted to hook up.

Weirdo.

Still business was business and Ste couldn't afford to let a potential opportunity slip. Not with mouths to feed.

So he said, "Just hanging out. Watching a movie."

Brendan grunted in reply.

Ste thought, _what the heck. May as well see if this goes anywhere_.

"What's your name?" He asked enticingly. He sat up straighter and wrapped his bathrobe more tightly around his body, the ache from his session with Kevin earlier becoming more acute because of his movements.

"Does it matter?" Brendan replied.

"I guess not. People tend to lie anyway. What shall I call you though?" Ste sat cross-legged in the centre of the bed and started playing with his toes with a hand subconsciously.

"Brendan because that's my name."

"Okay, Brendan." Ste said as if he didn't believe that was the Irishman's real name. "You're Irish, right?"

"Don't really want small talk, Caden." Brendan said directly, as he leaned back on the door to his home and looked across the balcony at the lit courtyard that it faced. Hollyoaks was bustling with people on a night out moving from one night time venue to another.

"I like a man that knows his mind." Ste said, not missing a beat. He preferred it when clients were to the point. It made things less ambiguous.

He stood up and stared at himself in the mirror in the hotel room while speaking. "So what do you like, Brendan?"

Brendan knew that Caden wasn't talking about his favourite colour.

"I was shopping for a massage."

"Giving or receiving?"

"Receiving."

"Straight up or with extras?"

Brendan lifted an eyebrow. Maybe Caden did know what he was doing. He was a good little salesman; using his voice to conjure up visions of what they could do together. He knew how to sell himself; the product in question. His questions were direct but he kept his intonation low and seductive. Enticing.

"Extras." Brendan said thickly; feeling an erotic shift in the conversation and a stirring in his pants. He looked around himself. Outdoors was probably not the most appropriate place to shop for sex and get a hard on. So he re-entered his apartment and walked to his couch.

He sat down and cupped his groin.

"Ummm." Ste groaned, acting like he was turned on already. In reality he had taken a swipe out of the ketchup on his plate of cold chips and licked it. He nodded to himself in appreciation. He loved ketchup.

He looked distractedly at an action sequence that was playing out on the muted television of one of his favourite movies. He turned it off.

"Sounds good." He said while studying his nails. "What did you have in mind?"

Brendan smiled to himself because he could read the fake horniness and interest in Caden's voice. He understood why the escort felt a need to pretend that he was really into his client. Most clients were probably needy bastards that wanted their egos stroked to make them feel better about themselves. Caden's role was probably just as much about boosting self-esteem as it was sucking dicks off for a living.

The thing is Brendan wasn't like those clients. All he wanted was to get his rocks off. But that did not mean a one way pleasure zone. The Irishman might be the one about to pay for sex but both him and Caden were going to walk away with smiles on their faces. He could guarantee that.

"I don't like mapping things out too much." He said. "What happens happens."

Ste stopped examining his nails and paid attention. What was that supposed to mean? He looked at his reflection in the mirror of the hotel room and loosened the belt of his bathrobe to expose his bruised body.

This happened and he didn't much like it.

"Uh. Normally I like to know roughly what we are going to do, you know. Just so I can prepare." He said trying to keep the trepidation out of his voice.

Brendan smirked. What did Caden think he had in mind? Chains and whips. Dildos and restraints?

"Nothing too left field. Blow-job. Hand job. Maybe a fuck. Me fucking you, let's be clear. Different positions... See how the mood takes us."

Ste frowned at that for three reasons.

Firstly, this Brendan guy was very confident. That was unusual for first-time clients. Normally they were hesitant; whispering their demands as if they were scared of getting caught. Phone conversations with them would seem steeped in shame. But not with Brendan and that made him stand out.

Secondly, Ste was worried about not knowing what to expect. He didn't want a repeat of tonight. He couldn't handle it again.

Thirdly, what the fuck did Brendan mean by 'us'?

..._ How the mood takes us._

There was no 'us' in this kind of situation. This transaction had nothing to do with what Ste wanted. If Brendan wanted a fuck and he paid for it then he would get a fuck provided he wasn't a total psycho and he bagged up. Simple.

Unless by _us_ he meant...

"Do you want me to pretend I'm your boyfriend?" Ste asked, seeking clarification.

Brendan laughed for so long that Ste wondered whether the man had gone crazy. It was the kind of laugh that came with thigh slapping and tears.

"Care to share?" Ste said, feeling like he was the butt of the joke.

"Boyfriend!" Brendan gasped through his chuckles then he composed himself and went serious. "No, Caden. I don't need you to pretend to be my boyfriend. I don't do boyfriends."

"Well some guys do." Ste said huffily.

"Do you, Caden?" Brendan asked before he could stop himself.

"Do I what?"

Brendan asked himself what he was playing at. "Not judging but that would make him very understanding."

Ste felt himself clam up. Brendan was asking him if he was in a relationship. He didn't share any aspect of his private life with his clients. Not only because there was a real chance it would shatter any image they might have of him but it also protected Ste. He could keep his real life pure and untouched and separate from what he did as a 'day job'.

"Um, I will let you do whatever you want to me, Brendan, within reason." He emitted a small laugh. "But let's keep this about you and about how I can help you feel good."

Brendan recognised that his question was being fobbed off so he let it drop.

"I have a few ground rules." Ste said and reeled off his usual spiel. "I can come to you or we can meet in a hotel. My call out and call in charges are £250. If I stay overnight that's £1000. We can negotiate on any weekends. If you want something non-standard that's extra; cumming over me, threesomes, groups, certain role-plays."

_Fucking hell,_ Brendan thought. _The lad is clinical_.

"And I have three completely non-negotiable rules. I don't discuss my personal life, I don't work outside of Liverpool and Chester and I never do it raw so if those are deal breakers-"

Brendan found himself smiling at the lad's earnestness. Maybe Caden's head was more screwed on than Brendan had first appreciated. It was a good job that Brendan agreed whole heartedly with two out of the three rules.

"They're not." He said.

Good. Ste thought. That was easy. Some guys tried to persuade him to bend one or more of his rules. He never did but he was glad that this time he was met with no resistance.

"So should I send you my address?" Brendan asked.

Ste stared at himself in the mirror. Then turned away from it and pushed his bathrobe to one side to show an arse cheek. He cocked his head round to see the red hand marks on his buttocks.

He couldn't go to a call out like this.

"Actually, Brendan. I can't do tonight. Sorry."

Brendan was strangely disappointed. He had worked himself up for this now. He was intrigued to see what Caden was like in person; a paradox of world-weariness and surprising naiveté wrapped into a delectable youthful twinky morsel... if the pictures were accurate.

"Maybe some other time." Ste said.

Brendan had a thought. "Next Thursday I have some... business... in Liverpool. Whole day then staying overnight. Could do with company."

This was not exactly how Ste liked to meet a client for the first time. There were safety issues. It was away from home, for longer than the average call out and with a virtual stranger.

Alarm bells went off in his head.

"That should be okay but we would need to meet beforehand first. Fifteen minutes somewhere..."He said. Then quickly added.

"... To make sure you are happy with me."

Brendan read between the lines. He knew that it was so that Ste had a chance to decide whether he looked like a psycho.

"Are you giving me a chance to try before I buy?"

Ste went red as his heart thudded in his chest.

God.

Where did that adrenalin rush come from? Clients said filthy things to him all the time. But for some reason Brendan's words got to him. Or maybe it was how he said them with that accent of his. Ste had a thing about accents.

"No, right. It's not like that. No charge, yeah. It's just... basically we don't know each other."

"I understand." Brendan said but he wasn't sure he did. Wasn't it a given that Caden didn't know his clients until they met up for the first time right before they shagged.

Ste went to the desk in the hotel room and picked up a pen. He scribbled on the complimentary stationary,

_Brendan_

Then underlined the name.

"This trip to Liverpool... what do you want me to do? Shall I meet you there?" He said all business.

_So he lives in Chester,_ Brendan deduced. _He can't be too far from here._

"I can pick you up somewhere." Brendan said, just as matter of fact. "We can drive up together. Then I'll do my business then we'll stay over at a hotel and get back the next day."

"Um. You know that will be £1000 basic rate. £500 up front."

"Yes." Brendan replied dismissively.

Caden was fucking expensive but then could a price be put on a great fuck with someone while passing the time during an otherwise dry business trip? All he would have done instead would be to spend the same amount of money on another designer suit or plying some hook up with expensive booze.

"Could you send all the details to me by text, please? Ta."

"No problem." Brendan answered. "I look forward to being 100% satisfied."

He said that tongue in cheek in reference to Caden's claim that he could guarantee 100% satisfaction.

Ste smiled cockily as he looked at his reflection. The reason why his clients were pretty much exclusively regulars was because they were loyal. The reason they were loyal was because he met and then surpassed their needs and desires.

"I never disappoint, Brendan." Ste said while eyeing himself up in the mirror.

The question was, would Brendan disappoint or was the Irishman going to be a strong candidate to complete the new line up of Ste's _Dirty Dozen_?


	3. Phillip

Ste took a taxi from the five-star Grosvenor Chester Hotel to his semi-detached three bedroom house in leafy suburban Chester. He got out gingerly and paid the bemused driver. The sun was coming up on the horizon as the residents of the cul-de-sac he lived in slept on an early Saturday morning.

To the cursory eye, he had a middle class existence; a two parent family in gainful employment with two children living in a nice residential part of town.

The truth was that he and Amy were best friends, not lovers. Not anymore. Not since he came out to her shortly after the birth of their second child. And while Amy did work as an assistant at a special needs school she did so only because she worked full-time as Ste's agent. Some might say _pimp_ although Amy would protest that title.

She considered herself Ste's protector.

She had taken on the role with her friend's best interest at heart given that she had hadn't been able to dissuade him from being an escort. This way she felt she could at least help regulate his activities and thus keep him safe. She and Doug, Ste's other close friend, were the only ones who truly knew what Ste's real job was. To anyone else he came into contact with, he 'worked in graphics'.

The Barnes-Hay family was a peculiar blip in an otherwise mundane corner of the world.

Ste quickly made his way to his front door to get out of sight as quickly as possible. He figured his exposed torso-jeans-trainers-and-black satchel combo would be hard to explain to his bourgeois neighbours who already treated him and Amy with a measure of suspicion.

Ste especially didn't want to bump into Mrs Campbell, their nosy next door neighbour, who would make her encounter with him in his current state into gossip fodder.

In actual fact it was her husband who caught Ste _in flagrante_. Phil Campbell was dressed for the office and rushing to his car. Ste vaguely wondered why the accountant was working on a weekend. He seemed to work non-stop, seven days a week with early starts and late finishes.

The older man stopped and gave Ste a curious, confused look.

"Morning, Ste." He said, speaking across the low hedge that acted as partitioning between their properties.

"Alright, Phil." Ste whispered back hoping to keep their conversation brief.

He struck a casual pose and wracked his brain trying to come up with a reason to explain his state of undress.

"You just coming in?"

"Yeah." Ste croaked out.

"You are not wearing a shirt."

"Yeah. Sorry. I can explain."

He really couldn't so they stared in silence at each other until the older man broke out into a grin and stage-whispered,

"You dirty dog!" He had a twinkle in his eye. "Night out, was it? Behind the missus's back?"

"No." Ste said.

The older man chuckled. "No need to explain yourself. I understand that itch. It's nice for the old roger to have a change of scenery from time to time. Am I right? Looks like yours was a fiery little vixen!"

Ste looked at his neighbour in horror. Phil had come to the wrong conclusion but it didn't make Ste feel any more relieved. He had been caught coming back from a call out with a john. He couldn't afford to be in a situation where he had to explain himself to people in his normal life about his secret job.

What would the neighbours say if they found out the truth about what he did for a living?

He doubted they would ever want to pop round for tea or coo over his kids again.

"Yeah, um. Sorry, Phil. I should probably go in now so-"

Phil misread his nervousness and dropped his voice conspiratorially. "Yes. Of course. Don't worry. I won't say a thing. Just make sure you think of something to tell the missus to explain the scratch marks and love bites."

The older man winked and walked towards his car. He drove off leaving Ste shaken.

Ste let himself into the house as quietly as possible and walked up the stairs hoping to get in bed before Amy and the kids noticed but Amy was already up.

She collided with him in the corridor as she came out of the bathroom heading back to her room. She still looked half asleep with her crazy bed hair and blood red yukata.

"Ste! You scared me!"

"Morning." He tried to get round her.

She grasped his arm with surprising strength, rubbed sleep from her eyes with her other hand then yawned,

"Are you just getting in?"

Ste nodded. "I'm going to bed."

"Wait." Her eyes opened in shock, suddenly wide awake. "What happened to you?"

She ran her hands gently over the scratch marks on his chest, taking in the bruises there and around his wrists.

Ste raised an eyebrow. "You really want to know?"

"Kevin?"

Ste made the short distance to his room with Amy close behind him. "It's fine, Ames."

He wasn't in the mood for a lecture from her of the 'I told you so' or the 'please stop this' variety.

"The bastard." She said as she followed him into his room. "You're all cut up."

"It was consensual. He paid for a master-slave role play." Ste said matter of fact. He handed her £500 cash then went to his chest of drawers, picked out a new top and put it on. "I've kept £100. I need it for something later."

He had earned £600 for three hours work.

She looked at him in shock as she counted it.

"Oh well the money makes everything he did okay then." Her voice dripped with sarcasm as she threw the banknotes onto the floor. "Where is your t-shirt?"

He picked up the money slowly; careful not to wince in front of her. He knew Amy's anger wasn't directed at him but her rejection of the money felt like a slap in the face especially given what Ste had had to go through to get it. He had done it for them all; Amy, their kids and him.

"Kev ripped it off me."

She was going to explode any second now.

One.

Two.

Three.

"You what! He ripped your birthday present!" She exploded. "That's it! This thing..." She threw her hands in his direction, "Is over. I should have never let you do it to begin with. You are not seeing that beast again. He is a brute! You aren't seeing any of them again! Seriously Steven. It's not worth it."

He kicked his shoes off calmly, crawled onto his bed, curled himself into a fetal position away from her and shut his eyes trying to block her out.

"Shush. The kids." He mumbled without looking at her. "Don't worry about Kev. He's history."

"Yeah?"

"You are right. He has been getting more aggressive in bed. I'm better rid. I'm going to call him and tell him I'm dropping him as a client."

He shrugged. Defeated.

Amy stared at his back, stunned by his laid back attitude. "Ste, okay, that's good yeah but it's not enough. I think it is time to stop this completely."

She sat down next to him and touched his side lightly. Her tone softened.

Finally.

"Look, I know why you are doing this. I know you want to take care of me and the kids but it's not necessary. We'll find another way. It is more important that you are okay. I don't want to open the door to some copper giving me bad news about you one day."

Ste cocked his head round to look at her. She looked genuinely scared for him.

"That's not going to happen." He thought about his eleven remaining regulars. "I know these guys. They are fine. And I don't really do randoms, do I. It pays well, Ames and I know you don't want to hear it but I am good at it. And I'm really careful, like, all the time."

"It doesn't matter how careful you are. Not if the guy is a psycho."

Ste stayed quiet, figuring that maybe this was not the right time to mention his new john.

"Why are you up anyway?" He said trying to distract her from talking about him and his job. "It's Saturday. Go back to sleep. I'll sort the kids out when they get up."

Amy briefly looked at the bedroom's wall clock. "I'm up now. Anyway, nice try but I'm not changing the subject. I'm serious, Ste. It's not just the physical danger I am worried about. It's what getting paid to have sex can do to you emotionally too. We are like peas in a pod. We think the same. We can't separate sex and emotions. You are lying to yourself if you think you can. And I know you think you can cope with it right now but with time it's going to grind you down and you are going to be affected by it. I know I would."

Ste tried to block out her voice.

Why did she always bring this up as if they hadn't already discussed it a year ago before he started escorting and over and over and over again since. They had weighed up the pros and cons. He had thought about how doing it would make him feel against how it would provide for his family.

And eventually they had both been able to justify it as long as it was a temporary measure.

Although nearly a year had passed since his first client he still vowed to himself daily that he would escort only until he found a job that paid enough to keep his family out of the desperate situation they had been in before.

Then he could stop whoring himself out.

It was a promise to himself and to Amy.

"What's that?" Amy asked. Before Ste had a chance to see what she was referring to she reached into his pocket and took out the piece of used hotel stationary he had stuffed there before leaving the _Grosvenor Chester_ an hour ago.

"It's nothing." He sat up quickly and tried to get it back off her but she had it out of his reach.

"Who's Brendan?" She asked, reading.

Ste took the paper back and looked at it. It held the plan for next week's hook up with Brendan.

A strange man. Part advisor ('_you want to be careful, Caden'_). Part sexual predator (_'Blow job. Hand job. Maybe a fuck. Me fucking you, let's be clear'_).

An unusual prospect with a sexy gravelly voice.

He felt unbridled nervousness as he thought about their first face to face meeting. It was always the way for him before meeting a new 'customer'.

"A potential client." He said. "I'm going to meet him before Thursday to make sure he isn't some crazy before you ask."

He looked at his best friend, the mother of his children, as she looked at him with unease.

"Will anything I say make you change your mind?" She said.

"I think he'll be okay. There is something about him, Ames. I don't know... I think that maybe, with Kev out, he could be one of my new regulars."

{~}

The weekend flew by as good things tended to do. Ste hang out with his kids and Amy and mended. For forty-eight hours he stopped thinking about bills and money and jobs and the woes of his existence.

But them Monday came and it was business as usual.

Amy went to work early leaving Ste to sort out Leah and Lucas for school and nursery, respectively.

The children's overexcited chatter was followed by the patter of their feet as they approached his bedroom.

They came charging into his room with boundless energy, a swirl of blue and pink flannel wrapped around sleep flushed bodies. Five year old Leah deftly got onto the bed and fell on top of him giggling while a three year old Lucas climbed the bed carefully and then bounced up and down on it.

They sing-songed, "Morning daddy!" until he was forced to sit up.

He held his head between his hands and groaned, "No sleep for daddy then, hey."

He pulled them both to him giving them tight hugs that had them squirm with glee in his arms.

"Group hug!" He said smiling then he booted them out of his bed and stood up, "Right, let's get this day started, my little monsters."

With military precision he had them washed, dried, dressed, combed, fed and watered. He made lunchboxes, stuffed them into small backpacks and put said backpacks onto his kid's backs. He got his own trusty black satchel and flung it over one shoulder. He never left it unattended. He would be mortified if anyone other than Amy, Doug and his clients discovered what he carried in it.

It was his 'work' bag.

He flung his bag onto the front passenger seat of his car, a second hand dark blue Ford Mondeo he purchased a few months ago, before placing Leah and Lucas into their car seats at the back. Then they sang along to the Lion King soundtrack while he ferried them to school and nursery.

Done.

Next stop was his favourite coffee shop in Chester town centre. It was probably his favourite because he was a regular and he got everything on the house.

He walked in and said hello to the young waif-like man behind the counter.

"Hiya Benji."

"Morning gorgeous."

"You alone today? Doug not in?"

"No. It's Monday. He is down at the gallery. You know, still chasing that dream of being an artist. Someone has got to tell him it's a road to nowhere."

Of course. Doug split his time between the coffee shop and the gallery. Ste decided he would nip over there later to say hi.

Ste smiled at the camp History of Art undergraduate student.

"I don't know. I like his art." Ste said.

Doug was a painter. His medium of choice was oil on canvas. Most of his stuff was visceral. Broad brush strokes of abstract art in vivid primary colours embellished with his fingers, nails, the wooden end of the paintbrushes and whatever else he could get his hands on.

Ste thought his pieces were exciting and visually challenging. They just needed to find an audience.

"Have you changed your hair?" He asked Benji.

"Oh you noticed! Yes, I have. They say blonds have more fun so I thought I'd give it a try." Benji winked at him and Ste laughed.

"Let me know, yeah."

"I will. What are you having, sweetie?"

"The usual, please."

"Take a seat. I'll bring it over."

Ste did as he was told, opting for the usual corner sofa. He carefully opened his satchel to make sure that none of the other patrons saw its contents, took out a notebook and placed it on his thighs.

Then he started his usual routine of job hunting online; his fingers rapidly ghosting over the keypad.

When Benji brought him a tray laden with a large vanilla latte, orange juice, two pouched eggs, grilled bacon and two slices of toast he smiled.

"Thanks. I'm starving."

"I don't know how you can eat all this and still look like that." Benji said enviously.

"Because I don't eat as much as you think." Ste said truthfully. "And I'm always on the go so-"

"I've got you an apple too." Benji said. "Doug would never forgive me if I didn't provide you with at least one of your five-a-day."

"He is like my mother... only with a dirty mind and he actually cares about me." Ste quipped.

"Yeah!" Benji nodded as he looked at the small laptop. "How's the job hunting going?"

"Okay." Ste lied. He had not received any replies from the seven application forms he sent over the last couple of weeks and he was in the process of filling out another one.

"It's a shame the boss isn't hiring. You would be a great fit right here even if just temporarily."

Ste shrugged. "It's fine. I'll find something."

"Anyway. You are into graphic and web design and stuff like that, aren't you? Your skills would be wasted here." Benji gave him a sympathetic smile. "Good luck, yeah. I'll leave you to it, babes."

"Thanks."

Ste took a break to eat his breakfast. Once he was done and he patted his stomach in satisfaction.

Before getting back to the application form he decided he ought to rip off the bandage or call Kevin as it were.

The reason for his procrastination was something that he couldn't explain to anyone. It was partly practical and partly sentimental.

On a practical note, Kevin was easily his biggest pay check and he was also the one that had recommended Ste to three other _Dirty Dozen._ Together those four men accounted for over half of the money that Ste got from escorting. If he said bye to Kevin he was potentially saying _sayonara_ to more than half of his income if the three other men decided to stop using his services as well.

On a sentimental note, Kevin had been Ste's first ever client and as strange as it might sound, the older man made the experience pleasant for Ste. Kevin really liked Ste and Ste knew that it went beyond their weekly shags. He lavished Ste with presents and was generous with his money. He had been the one to give Ste business advice regarding his escorting service. He had been the one to suggest that Ste market himself as an exclusive high-end escort with a select few clients that could afford his service.

That was all Kevin.

And now Ste would have to tell the man that he was letting him go. It was not going to be easy.

Ste checked to see that Benji was out of ear shot and that the other customers in the small coffee shop weren't paying attention to him then he dialled the businessman's number and waited nervously as the phone rang.

"Caden, this is a pleasant surprise." Kevin said pleasantly.

"Um yeah. Hiya."

"Have you recovered from Friday's fun and games?"

"Actually um, Kev, that's kind of why I'm calling. Okay. Look I'm going to get to the point." Ste took a deep breath in. "I want you to know that I am so grateful for what you have done for me this past year but I, uh, I don't think we should see each other again. I think we are into different things, so, yeah. Sorry."

"What?" Kevin seemed devastated. "Is this about that night?"

"It's about how you have been the last few times we have been together. Like you are channelling your anger towards me or something." Ste whispered.

"I'm not. It's just fun. You seemed fine about it at the time. You could have stopped me at any time. And there was no harm done, right?"

He was right. The hurt had been temporary. Just three days later the soreness was gone and the red welts and scratch marks had faded. Just the odd yellow bruise remained. But that was not the point. The point was that Ste felt genuinely frightened and unsafe when he was being intimate with Kevin now.

That was a bad sign. He didn't trust the businessman.

"Look, I am not blaming you, Kev. It's just how I feel. If you want the name of another guy to take my place I can recommend someone but-"

"You filthy whore." Kevin hissed, his tone turning angry at the flick of a switch much like his behaviour in bed. "How dare you? You agreed to what we did in bed. Don't make me feel like I molested you."

"That's not what I said. I-"

"You loved it! And now you are acting like you were above it. Do you think you are better than me, Caden?"

"No-"

"You are forgetting that when I first met you, you were scum, council flat fodder. I've made you what you are. You may dress better now but don't forget that you're still some faggot who rents his holes out to the highest bidder, you-"

Ste ended the call quickly and clutched his chest, feeling the rapid thump of his heartbeat. He was shocked at the older man's vitriol.

Shit.

He felt a sting in his eyes. A threat of tears which he held back. He was not about to cry because of an embittered man's caustic words even though they rang true in his head.

_I get paid to have sex. That is a fact. I can't be upset just because someone has reminded me of it._

He stared at his work phone for a few minutes, sure that it would ring again with more verbal abuse from Kevin.

It didn't.

Escorts were a dime a dozen. Ste figured Kevin was probably already surfing the web for his next 'boy'.

He collected himself and then it dawned on him; he had just lost a significant chunk of his income and he could potentially lose more especially if Kevin bad mouthed him to his three friends.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

How was he going to stay afloat financially?

His mind went to a possible solution. He closed his notebook and rang another number.

"I must say, this is a surprise." Brendan said when he picked up almost straight away.

"Hiya. It's Caden." Ste said confidently.

The Irishman was puzzled and intrigued. Caden was calling him... again. This was becoming a strange habit.

"I know who it is."

Brendan looked around the large conference table he was sitting at with his work colleagues for the weekly staff meeting he was chairing.

This was a bad time to take this call. They had been in the middle of a key discussion when his phone rang.

None the less he apologetically lifted a finger indicating that he would be a minute to his staff then spoke into the phone. The group of smartly dressed employees politely acted like they weren't listening in on their boss's phone conversation.

"I am pretty sure that normally I'm the one who is supposed to call you. But then I am not entirely familiar with the etiquette in these circumstances." Brendan said in amusement.

"Right. Um, yeah. I guess. It's just that we never set a date to meet up, you know, before Thursday. You know, so you can check me out." Ste said.

He felt himself go red. God, was he coming across desperate? He knew that nothing was more of a turn off than having an air of desperation.

He had been told that once a lifetime ago by someone he had loved...

'_Jesus, Ste! Stop being so desperate. Fucking give me some space to breathe!'_

Could Brendan sense it from him? The desperation.

_Please say you want to fuck me so that I can get some money to pay rent and feed my kids._

He had to chill the fuck down before putting Brendan off completely.

"Is this a bad time? You can call me back whenever." He said trying to sound aloof and laid back.

"Actually, this is a bad time..." Brendan said as he looked at his colleagues.

He waved a hand at them demonstrating an annoyance at the phone call when in actual fact he would have almost rather continued it instead of the meeting.

"I'm at work." He said to Caden.

"Oh."

"But I have been meaning to call you, Caden."

"Yeah?"

Ste felt a glimmer of hope.

_Maybe he doesn't think I'm a total knob._

"When we last spoke we talked about trying before buying. I don't know if you remember." Brendan said evenly while looking at his co-workers.

He leaned back in his chair. This felt good.

Naughty.

Hot even.

"Um. Yeah, I do remember." Ste blushed. "Actually, you said that. Not me."

"Is that so?" Brendan felt himself grin. He remembered their conversation perfectly. "Must have forgotten."

"Yeah." Ste relaxed. Brendan was just like he remembered. Laid back. A little cryptic and confusing. Tongue-in-cheek. Cheeky.

Ste liked that.

"The thing is I'm not trying to fleece you or nothing. I just thought we could meet up for like ten minutes tops at a cafe or something. No charge." His voice became even more seductive when he said, "I want to make sure you are happy with what you see. That I am what you want. Your pleasure is my priority."

Brendan chuckled to himself in amusement. Caden was being painfully transparent. He wanted to make sure Brendan was legit and not some crazy before they went to Liverpool together. If that was the case then Brendan was happy for him to test the waters. Properly. Not just dipping a toe in the pool but diving head first into the ocean.

So he called the escort's bluff.

"I understand you perfectly." He said, "You want me to be happy with my potential future investment. Let's make that happen. When do you want to meet?"

"Um. Today. Whenever really." Ste said uncertainly, not quite catching Brendan's drift. "On the high street, maybe. Cafe Uno?"

Brendan looked down at his business papers and smiled. God, this lad was slow on the uptake.

"I think a thorough inspection would require at least an hour." He said carefully. "It gives me a chance to try before I buy."

He hoped Caden got his meaning.

Ste frowned. Why was Brendan speaking in riddles? Then it dawned on him.

"Are you with people?" Ste said in shock.

"Yes." Brendan grinned.

Ste laughed in surprise. This guy was something else. "Are you in a meeting or something?"

Brendan grinned. "Um hum."

"Wow. You are something."

"So I've been told."

"So are you saying you want to hook-up? Like properly?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

Brendan was amused that Caden seemed surprised at his sexual proposal. The lad was an oxymoron; an innocent whore.

Ste was a taken aback. Brendan was a game changer. Like their first chat, this conversation had been heading in one direction only to make a sharp unexpected turn.

Ste swallowed hard. "Like today?"

_God, I haven't had a new client in months. This is going to be well weird_.

"Yes." Brendan rubbed his moustache as he experienced an obscene surge of horniness. Fuck, this lad got him going.

Or maybe it was just a bad case of blue balls.

Yeah.

That was what it was and he had to do something about it soon.

"So what do you say?" Brendan asked.

"You're in Chester, right?" With his surprise fading, Ste had to think practically. He had to pick the kids up after school and nursery in the afternoon. He couldn't go far.

"Yep."

"Um, okay. That sounds good." Ste said. "But you do know that I'm going to have to charge you though."

"That's a given." Brendan said.

Ste felt himself go warm with a hint of embarrassment and of something else that he couldn't identify.

God knows why he felt shame. He was only clarifying what Brendan already knew; that sex with him came at a cost.

"I'll make it worth every last penny though. Me and you are going to have a lot of fun." He said.

Brendan knew that Caden was probably saying what he felt obliged to say right now. But that was all going to change when they met up. He vowed to fuck the fake reactions and attitude right out of the lad.

"How about two pm?" Brendan asked.

His staff had stopped pretending that they weren't listening and were looking at him intently, surprised at the fact that the call was taking as long as it was. Whether business or not Brendan kept any calls he received during meetings short and sweet; politely telling the caller to fuck off and try him later. His employees were starting to get twitchy. Time was money and he was wasting theirs.

Brendan realised how out of character he must seem. What the fuck was he playing at anyway? Disrupting an important meeting to banter with an escort.

Ridiculous.

Not getting laid recently was clearly making him think with his dick.

He had to wrap this up.

"One would be better." Caden told him.

"What?"

"One o'clock, if that's okay."

"That's fine."

"Where?"

Brendan's voice was all business when he said, "I'll text you the details. I look forward to meeting you."

He put the phone down before getting a reply.

"Must have been an important call." His head accountant said.

"Every call from a client is an important one, Phil." Brendan replied.

"You thinking about buying something? Is it something I need to know about?"

Brendan's smile was slow. "No. It's a private investment."

"Sounds like you are close to sealing a deal there, boss." Phil said jovially.

"So it would seem." Brendan raised an eyebrow and then picked up his pen. "Right, where were we? Let's get back to business."

Ste stared at his phone as he sat back in the sofa at the coffee shop.

His palms were sweaty. His heart was beating fast. His breath was coming in rapid bursts.

_Fuck_, he thought to himself, _This is ridiculous. _

_I am turned on_.

{~}

Ste was surprised when Brendan's text wasn't for a hotel but for an apartment just off Westgate Street, literally a stone's throw away from the coffee shop he was in.

He finished his application form yet another job at a computer graphics firm and then leisurely made his way over to his call out.

When he got to the ground floor entrance he emitted a low whistle. He knew that the luxury apartments here didn't come cheap.

As usual, he texted Amy to inform her of his whereabouts.

_About to see Brendan. His address is _ Westgate Street, Chest CH1 _. Appointment is 1 pm. Should be done by 3 so I can still get the kids. This is his number- 078********6. Don't use it unless absolutely necessary. Call you later. _

_Love you. _

_S x_

He took a deep breath, adjusted his satchel strap across his shoulder and rang the doorbell.


	4. Caden

Ste took a deep breath, adjusted his satchel's strap where it crossed his chest then rang the doorbell to Brendan's place. There was only one doorbell which meant that the three floors from ground level and the attic space belonged to the same home.

While he waited he peeked down at the gentleman's salon under the apartment, at basement level. It was open for business and brimming with customers who, judging by their manner and attire, weren't shy of a bob or two. The place represented a world that had been completely foreign to him until recently.

Ste caught his reflection in the window before straightening up. Strange how the guy that looked back at him looked like him but didn't feel like the _real_ him. He had a slick haircut. Sunglasses. Loafers. Nautical t-shirt. Sky blue blazer that Doug said brought out the colour in his eyes. Slim fit dark jeans that apparently made his arse look good. Summer wear for the lukewarm British weather; a far cry from Ste's former perennial attire of shell suits and white trainers.

The new Ste looked like he might fit into the world that the salon belonged to but he knew better.

He understood that he was a visitor and that his clients temporarily brought him into their fold buying him nice things, taking him out for dinner, shows and exhibitions even work events. But the elephant in the room remained.

Ste was only there because he had been bought to be there.

For a handsome fee he was their commodity; a luxury product to fulfil a very specific role; companion, date, confidant, no-strings-attached fuck, whatever. He wasn't a true equal. A purchase was a purchase was a purchase. He was something owned like a nice car. He was liked, cherished, coveted, enjoyed, even showed off sometimes, but ultimately he was disposable and his thoughts, wants and desires were irrelevant to his clients.

That was why Ste worked as Caden. As his alter ego he could dissociate himself from his own moral code temporarily and do the necessary for his clients without guilt, hesitation, and instant feelings of worthlessness. Caden was able to separate emotion from the physical act of sex in a way Ste struggled to.

There was a reason his alter carried his name but Ste tried not to dwell on it now.

_What doesn't break you will only make you stronger_

Right now he had to concentrate on his job. He rang the bell again when he realised that he had been hovering outside for a while.

The reply through the intercom came quickly this time and Ste heard the door automatically click open.

"Come in. First floor."

Deep. Smooth. Slow. Sexy. That was Brendan's voice in a nut shell.

Ste tried to picture the man that it belonged to as he walked through into a virtually empty spacious corridor.

He wasn't holding out much hope on a looker. Dan and Dave, the only couple in his _Dirty Dozen_, and Noah were fit as fuck in every definition of the word but Ste's other regulars were significantly older than him, out of shape and with faces only a mother could love. Odds were Brendan fell into the latter category.

Hot or not Caden would find something that he could latch onto in Brendan's appearance or personality that could act as a turn on so that he could act out the passion.

He took his sunglasses off and walked over the marble floor up the staircase flanked by pure white walls. Spot lights were dotted over the ceiling and concentrated white light on a piece of feature art that Ste thought wasn't anywhere near as good as Doug's.

He noticed a closed door opposite the painting that looked to lead to a separate abode. Or was it all part of Brendan's place?

He raced up the stairs taking them three at a time and then stopped at the top on the threshold of the only door. It was open so he tentatively walked into the spacious open plan space and through to the living area. Minimalist, shiny, monochrome, streamlined, tasteful. The three piece white leather suite that delineated the living area was blemish-free softer than soft to the touch. This was no home for young kids.

It was too tidy, cold and characterless.

{~}

"You want something to drink?"

"Shit!" Ste jumped in surprise.

He turned around to see a man standing next to a high spec open plan bar island on the other side of the room holding a whiskey glass in one hand towards him.

"Sorry. I didn't see you." Ste said clutching his chest and forcing himself to calm down.

Brendan smirked in amusement and repeated, "Drink?"

"What's that?"

Doug's words of advice-

_Don't drink alcohol and try to stick to unopened bottles of drinks or they'll spike you with GHB and get you doing all sorts._

"Whiskey."

"Um." Ste stood up straight. "No thanks but I'll have some bottled water if you have it."

Brendan raised an eyebrow. "Still or sparkling." He walked to the fridge.

"Still's fine. Ta."

Brendan took a water bottle out. The boy looked like he could do with something a little stronger but he knew the reason behind Caden's choice of drink.

He was a cautious little fucker with a mistrustful view of the world.

Brendan liked that.

He was the same.

It was as he slowly walked up to Ste that the escort properly _saw_ him for the first time.

Brendan's gait was confident. He carried himself with the air of someone who knew exactly who he was and was pleased with who that was. It made Ste briefly wonder what he did for a living. Whatever it was Brendan was top bracket.

Ste figured he was in his late twenties or early thirties. He looked in shape without being over buff. He was dressed smartly for work. His crisp gray suit jacket was draped over a stool behind him but he was still wearing his suit trousers, white open-at-the-collar shirt and double monk strap shoes. The outfit moulded to his lean body in that way that only tailor made clothes could. He exuded effortless class.

His eyes were sapphire; a blue darker than Ste had ever seen in someone's eyes. They zeroed in on him in a manner that got Ste's heart racing as the Irishman drew to a stop in front of him.

Ste didn't have a type exactly but tall, dark and handsome wasn't exactly a turn off and Brendan definitely qualified. There was definite instant physical attraction on his part. It was almost enough for Ste to ignore the moustache. That was a fashion _faux-pas_ as far as he was concerned.

Even so he was a bag of nerves.

_Deep breath. Think like Caden_.

"Here." Brendan said. His voice was so low it was barely audible.

Ste took his drink. A hasty sip became a run of big gulps to quench his sudden thirst.

_Boy's nervous_, Brendan thought. _God, we are an arm length apart and he is nervous already. I knew it. _

_He's a fucking newbie._

Caden didn't have any of the rough edge that Brendan remembered from the two escorts he had used. He was a vulnerability about him; An Oliver amongst Fagan's London street children.

He took a sip of his whiskey and let the liquor burn a warm trail down his throat while he perused the skittish stranger in front of him.

Caden wasn't too far from Brendan's usual taste; perhaps a little too slight for his liking but there were plenty of plus points. The lad had a nice arse. The dress sense was okay if a little over thought. Light tan. Flawless skin; touchable. The citrusy smell of his aftershave; appealing. His full lips; pouty and delectable. They looked even better when he darted his tongue out to wet them after downing the rest of his water.

He awkwardly gave the glass back to Brendan.

"Ta."

_Why the fuck is he staring at me like that? _Ste thought.

"You're welcome." Brendan looked at the bag that Caden held onto for dear life. "You can put your bag. Looks heavy."

Ste looked down at his satchel. "Um, yeah. Thanks."

And he put it down near his feet.

Brendan took another hearty sip of his drink before placing both their glasses to one side and facing Caden again.

The lad's eyes were a clear sky blue; guarded and hesitant but still holding Brendan's gaze. They were nice but the thick, long and fanlike lashes that framed them were what really made them pop in Brendan's opinion. They gave his orbs character; coyness mixed with sensuality.

The angles on the escort's face were too angular, too _pretty_, to be called classically handsome but put together the lad was undeniably hot.

Sexy.

Tempting.

Fuckable.

Nervous.

Brendan could tell that the escort was trying to hide that fact.

He tried to calm Caden's nerves down with idle chitchat. "Did you find the place okay?"

"Huh?" Ste was surprised by the everyday question. "Um, yeah. Fine. I know this part of Chester well so."

"Good."

"I like your place." He lied.

"It is a _pied-à-terre_. Not my real home." Brendan said. "It suits me when I'm working in town."

Ste remembered their chat earlier. "So where do your work colleagues think you are?"

"That I am testing a product that I am thinking about buying." Brendan arched an eyebrow.

Ste went red at the suggestion in Brendan's tone. "I hope you like it."

"I guess we'll see." Then Brendan cocked his head to one side. "So where did you get the name Caden from?"

Ste. "How do you know it isn't my real name?"

"Is it? It's unusual for Manchester." Brendan smiled.

"Okay. It's not my real name. It's my alias to protect the innocent." Ste couldn't help but smile back. "Is your name really Brendan?"

"Yes." Brendan replied.

Ste licked his lips, enjoying their to and fro. "You could be lying to me right now."

"I could be but I'm not." Brendan took a step forward.

Ste took a step back instinctively.

"Nervous?" Brendan asked surprised by the recoil. He thought Ste had thawed and warmed to him.

Ste swallowed hard.

"Maybe I am a little." He looked up at Brendan through his lashes in a way that he knew got his regulars' juices flowing. He was playing Caden's naughty but nice card. "I'll warm up."

There was something there under the surface between them in Brendan's opinion even when he ignored Caden's blatant put-on flirtation. Potential for chemistry. A foundation in order to enjoy each other between the sheets.

If it all came to nothing then they could part ways after today. Forget Liverpool. No hard feelings. Move on.

Ste placed his hand boldly on Brendan's chest.

Another tip from Doug-

'_Trust me, dude. Works every time. A, it tells him that you are keen, b, it tells you if he has a hot body, c, what his heart rate is and d, if he likes you from his reaction to your touch.'_

I am

He has

Rock steady

To be seen

Ste reached further down while looking right into Brendan's eyes and reached for his cock.

_Wowa. He is going for my cock._ Brendan gripped Caden's hand stopping it.

_The boy was nervous a second ago!_

Caden was a real paradox. Brendan couldn't figure him out but he liked a challenge. For the next hour he was going to see whether he could get to the bottom of what the escort was all about.

Madonna or whore?

Experienced or naive?

Might be fun.

{~}

"You ready?" He gave the boy a lopsided smile.

_You don't know what you have got yourself in for, boy._

"Sure." Caden said quickly.

"Good. Bedroom's upstairs."

Ste followed Brendan up a spiral staircase located in the middle of the open plan living area and into his bedroom.

He wasn't sure what Brendan wanted. He had said something about a massage and a blow-job on the phone. Maybe more... He would just have to play it by ear and tell the Irishman is something was too left field for him.

He didn't take in the bedroom like he normally did during a call out. His eyes were trained on Brendan's back as the Irishman fluidly got out of his shirt; calmly pulling the shirt tails out of the waist of his trousers, unbuttoning slowly, coaxing his arms out of the sleeves, throwing it to one side before turning to face Ste.

_Fuck me, _Ste thought as his eyes widened.

It wasn't that Brendan was the most gorgeous man he had ever met because he wasn't but there was something so unapologetically male about him that it made Ste's insides flip. The Irishman was defined with broad strong shoulders. His chest was covered by short dark hairs that tapered to a trail over his abdomen and disappeared into his trousers. Every move of his resulted in a reactive ripple of muscle under skin.

"Let's see what you've got." Brendan said. Caden looked confused so Brendan smiled. "You wanted me to make sure I was happy with you before Liverpool."

"Oh yeah." Caden said and swallowed hard; Adam's apple bobbing furiously. "What did you have in mind?"

Brendan kicked off his shoes and got onto his king-size bed, sitting up against the headboard propped up by some pillows. He tucked a thumb into his belt.

Test number one- appearance.

"Let's start by you taking your clothes off."

Caden clutched the strap of his satchel, toying with it nervously. "Like all of them?"

Brendan bit back a laugh at Caden's tone of surprise.

"That would be helpful." He said while unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his trousers.

Caden put his bag down on the floor and quickly looked out of the two large picture windows in case anyone from outside could see in. Nothing but gray sky faced him.

He took off his shoes, shed his blazer and t-shirt and then pulled his jeans and socks off leaving them in a messy pool at his feet. He hesitated as his fingers run over the waistband of his boxer-briefs.

Brendan raised an impatient eyebrow at him so the escort took his underwear off briskly then stood up straight. He felt warmth spread over him knowing he had gone red all over. None the less he looked determinedly at Brendan with his hands by his side.

"So?" He said softly. He touched his own tummy then stroked down over his dick to grab his balls and hold them in his palm. "What do you think?"

This is what Brendan thought.

Naked, Caden looked less waif-like and more robust. His golden skin glowed with the muted summer rays that shone through the windows. His proportions were faultless but he had lied on two counts on his profile. Firstly, he was not 'smooth'. Rather Caden had a small trail of pale hair over his lower tummy, groin and under his armpits. Secondly, he was never 'seven inches' hard. Brendan failed to see how the flaccid cock could ever reach those proportions. Still they were minor points. Brendan didn't mind a bit of hair and it wasn't like he was going to be the one getting fucked so size mattered less.

"I'm a grower not a shower." Caden said as if reading his mind. "So, yeah."

"I believe you." Brendan lied. "Turn around."

Ste did as instructed and looked over his shoulder to gauge Brendan's reaction.

Caden had a lithe long back and a fucking hot arse; like two tight pert peaches. The jeans hadn't lied. In fact there was little to criticise here. Even the blemishes on the lad worked. They served to give light and shade; highlighting the beauty around them. There was ink down the left side of his chest, running from armpit to hip although from this angle Brendan couldn't read the tattooed words. There was an unexpected scattering of freckles over Caden's shoulders. And finally there was the thin scar on his right lower stomach that Brendan recognised as being from an operation to remove an appendix since his sister had had a similar operation when she was a child.

"You're hot." Brendan said simply as if it was a definitive opinion.

"So are you." Caden said. "I think we'll have fun."

"You took the words right out of my mouth." Brendan drawled.

He watched as Caden climbed onto his bed and crawled over to him slowly. He straddled Brendan's thighs, sitting on his lap, wrapped his arms over Brendan's shoulders and combed his fingers through his hair.

Brendan gripped the escort's buttocks and pulled him in closer. Jesus, his skin was soft like velvet or warm satin.

"What do you want to do now?" Ste whispered.

Test number two- kissing.

"How about I see how you are at-" Brendan whispered back before diving in for a kiss. He had no intention to be anything but bold, heated, demanding and challenging. As in,

'I can read through your bravado, newbie. See if you can handle this.'

His fingers skimmed over Caden's back, kneading and coaxing as he felt the escort respond.

If the groans, sighs and gropes were anything but genuine then the boy was an amazing actor. Brendan felt a single finger run over the stubble of his cheeks and his moustache. Then Caden broke away with a soft giggle on his lips.

"Kind of burns." He whispered before kissing Brendan gently twice on the lips. "A good burn though."

Brendan stared at his kiss-swollen moist mouth and had to have them again so he let their lips meet until they had to part for breath. They were so close they shared air but Brendan resisted kissing him again. He waited for Caden, wanting him to take initiative.

Caden's responded with a kiss that was more languid, less rushed, associated with more tactile exploration.

Brendan went with it savouring the slip and slide of tongue with tongue, the play of lips, the tease of teeth and the sharing of spit.

Caden was one heck of a good kisser.

"I've never kissed someone with a 'tache before." The escort groaned between kisses.

He went in for more and Brendan realised that Caden didn't need much prompting. He took what he wanted. Already he was a far cry from the bag of nerves that walked into Brendan's apartment holding the strap of his satchel like a lifeline.

He gripped Brendan's thighs with his own as he sat on him and he didn't flinch away from the older man's touch, giving himself over to him completely.

"They're underrated." Brendan murmured as he grabbed the slighter man's butt in his hands. "'Taches."

He felt the escort's hand teasingly play up and down his treasure trail, promising greater things yet never delivering while they kissed.

Caden was a master at seduction and suspense. Then in the midst of a passionate kiss, his hand unzipped Brendan's fly but still didn't go for his cock. It frustrated and turned Brendan on in equal measure.

Brendan's erection was straining when the boy expertly started grinding his arse smoothly onto Brendan's rigid manhood which was still trapped in the confines of his underwear.

Frankly, at this point the Irishman could have quite happily whipped out little Brendan, bagged him up, lubed Caden up and drove right in but that all seemed like peeking too early. From what he had seen of Caden so far there was still so much to explore. And given that this was a trial run Brendan had to check that all areas met with his satisfaction.

It was the least he could do.

Suddenly dedicating an hour and a bit to 'trying before buying' seemed very short-sighted of him. He should have taken the rest of the day off.

He pushed Caden back gently so that he was lying flat on his back with Brendan over him. The escort automatically spread his legs to allow Brendan to settle between them. Brendan felt their soft hairiness, encouraging them around his waist. Caden was so compliant, he did as silently instructed.

Test number three- responsiveness and sexual daring.

Brendan lightly bit Caden's jaw then worked his way down his body. Caden encouraged him by pulling him closer to him, sighing and moaning when his nipples were licked then kissed, groaning when Brendan's tongue traced the contours of his abdominal muscles as they flexed and relaxed with his writhing movements.

The tattoo that ran down the left side of Caden's chest in a cursive old worldly scroll read,

_What doesn't kill you will make you stronger_

It was a sombre statement to have tattooed on one's person and it made Brendan wonder whether there was a deeper reason for it other than the escort's love of the work of philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche or pop star Kelly Clarkson.

Brendan didn't dwell on it too long since he heard Caden's frustrated groan and felt the escort's hand pressing his head towards his groin.

"Impatient. Aren't you?" He teased and got a sigh of appreciation when he tongued the area just over the base of Caden's dick and his inner thighs.

Brendan used his teeth to then grip the scanty hairs that pointed to Caden's cock and tugged at them.

"Ahh! Fuck!" Caden called out and Brendan knew that it was because the sensation straddled pain and pleasure.

Oh, look. The escort was already sporting a semi. Brendan gripped the boy's cock and held it at its base observing its beauty. He spat into his palm and started pumping it slowly and deliberately. He felt it go hard and reach its full potential under his ministrations.

Hats off. The lad hadn't lied. Every last rigid inch was present and accounted for in Brendan's hand. His cock was a thing of beauty.

"You should be proud of yourself." Brendan muttered tongue in cheek from his position between the escort's legs.

Caden looked down at him; all flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dilated pupils. "Yeah? I don't know. It's what you're given, innit? It's not like I earned it or something."

Brendan laughed at that as he continued to stroke him. "You know what, you're right."

Caden's face became slack save for his teeth lightly biting his bottom lip. That action compromised the erotic sounds that came out of his mouth.

He was looking at Brendan with an expression that was part wonder and part surprise. When Brendan swiped his thumb on the underside of the head of his cock, Caden threw his head back and groaned loudly, closing his eyes. His legs and arms splayed out tonelessly.

The kid was responsive. What was not to like about that? Test number three passed.

"You like that?"

Caden licked his lips lazily and nodded. "It feels amazing."

He started rocking up into Brendan's fist, reaching a hand out to encourage Brendan to go faster. His other hand rested on Brendan's chest, smiling at the sensation of the soft hairs and warm taut skin.

Then, all of a sudden, his eyes sprung open. He took Brendan's hand off his cock and pulled him up to him,

"That was hot." He whispered. "Now it's my turn."

He kissed Brendan while rolling them both over. His hand grabbed Brendan's dick through the cotton of his pants and Caden nearly gasped out loud.

He had made a discovery.

Brendan was huge. Curiosity and a touch of uneasiness were etched on the escort's face as he helped him out of his trousers and underwear.

Brendan was used to getting a reaction. Just by looking at Caden's slight frame Brendan would not be surprised of the escort failed to take all of him. Bigger men had thrown in the towel.

They kept eye contact as Caden took hold of his cock.

Caden let out a laugh that didn't bother to hide his slight apprehension. "Do you ever trip over this thing?"

Brendan laughed. "Sometimes I put a shoe on it by mistake."

Caden joined in the laugh. Brendan was kind of funny. Kind of.

"I've been told it feels good." Brendan said softly as Caden started playing with it, rubbing it just right. "If you take it slow."

"You should try it sometime. Firsthand knowledge. See what you're missing."Caden said sceptically.

But he still knelt between Brendan's legs and took a swipe at him with his tongue then wrapped his lips around the head.

That earned him a surprised hiss of appreciation from Brendan.

Caden licked the sensitive underside of the head until Brendan's toes curled and his fists gripped the sheets.

Then he sat back and felt the girth and weight of it in his hand. Brendan looked curiously at him. What was with the stopping?

"I've never, you know, I mean..." Caden let his words trail off as her felt himself go red again.

Brendan frowned. Was the lad trying to imply that this was the biggest cock he will have ever been penetrated by?

He had to be kidding. Brendan was big but he was quite into double figures.

"I mean, I have topped for guys with you know, really big, you know. But never the other way round."

Brendan smirked at him. They were back to '_coy' _Caden again. After his performance thus far and with the impressive woody he had going on between his legs, Brendan wasn't buying it.

"Let's see how you suck it then." Brendan suggested, selflessly of course.

Test number four- Giving head.

"Okay." Ste looked at Brendan, opened his mouth wide and slowly lowered it over the bulbous head and down the phallus making sure he created a tight seal as he took Brendan down his throat and flicked his tongue against the rigid flesh.

Ste opened his throat up. He overcame a gag reflex he thought he didn't have any more and engulfed even more of Brendan's large dick. Even so he couldn't take all of it in at once. He swallowed against Brendan's cock and the contractions of his throat muscles made Brendan buck and come off the bed.

When he came up for air Brendan gasped, "Jesus. Where did you learn to do that?"

He didn't wait for an answer and flipped Ste round so that they were facing top to tail; a classic 69 with Ste on top.

He got back to it, working Brendan's pole like the pro he was, taking nearly the whole thing down his throat so that he could just about feel the tips of Brendan's pubic hair tickle his nose as he bobbed his head over and over again. At the same time Brendan lapped at his balls and blew him, lifting his head off the bed to engulf his cock. He knew it was distracting the lad from what he was doing because occasionally the little fucker would stop sucking him off to gasp and sigh with pleasure and verbally encourage Brendan to keep doing what he was doing.

After a while this wasn't enough; not when Caden's butt was right there in front of Brendan.

Test number five- getting fucked.

Brendan coaxed the lad to manoeuvre into a position where he could part his buttocks and blow a warm breeze over him.

Ste shuddered and rocked back towards him.

Brendan licked over the sensitive bit if skin between Ste's balls and his arsehole. Teasing it again and again until the younger man reached a hand back to grab Brendan's head, lift it off the bed and bring his lips closer to where he wanted it.

"Brendan. Yeah." He sighed as Brendan lightly bit one buttock then the other, then licked, then moved away. Teasing him the way Ste had teased him earlier.

"A bit bossy, aren't you?" Brendan drawled with a chuckle.

"Yeah." Ste groaned his assent.

Brendan moved his mouth further back until his tongue swiped over his hole causing the boy to buck as if electrocuted.

Fuck. This was so much more than he had expected. Brendan kept his movements small, feathery and light and Ste's whimpers grew.

This wasn't an act. There was no Caden here. He was long forgotten. It was just him and Brendan in this bed.

A clear viscous string of precum dangled from the tip of his rigid cock demonstrating his level of arousal.

_I want him to fuck me already._ _Now. _

"Please, Brendan." He groaned taking a brief break from sucking cock to make his plea. He fisted the cock in his hand, observing and feeling every contour of it while he felt Brendan run his fingers over his hole.

He pushed back as he felt the slip and slide and then the push of a finger into him.

He relaxed and exhaled. His lips caressed Brendan's balls as a second finger entered him. He rocked back onto those fingers gradually as Brendan buried them deep in his heat and then started to push them in and out spitting over them to make the glide easier and easier until Ste felt legless with need.

He was tired of the imitation and ready for the real thing as he rose and fell, fucking himself on them.

Brendan slowly took out his fingers and Ste felt himself go red knowing that the older man had a point blank view of his hole.

"I want to fuck you so badly." Brendan forced out through clenched teeth.

"Yeah. Okay." Ste groaned.

"Let me get a condom." Brendan murmured.

He shuffled out from under Ste and leaned over to his side table reaching for a condom from a box there and a lube bottle from the drawer underneath.

Then he lay flat on his back in the centre of the bed and dropped the sheath and lube next to him.

Ste looked at him uncertainly. Did Brendan want Ste to ride him? It would give the escort more control on depth and pace until he got used to Brendan's size.

"Come here." Brendan whispered to him.

Almost straight away Ste pounced on Brendan. He had never been so keen to get it on. He covered the older man; naked warmth, lips locked, hands everywhere and limbs intertwining.

_God. He fits like a glove._ Ste thought vaguely. _He is incredible_.

He felt Brendan grip his hips and seat him firmly onto his pelvis so he gyrated down onto his cock, rubbing against it deliciously.

"Fuck." He groaned

Brendan grabbed the condom he had left next to them and put it into Ste's hand urgently. "Put it on me."

Ste smiled mischievously. He quickly tore into the packet with his teeth, took out the sheath and rolled it onto his cock. Then he grabbed the bottle of lube and poured some directly onto Brendan's cock spreading the liquid over the condom evenly with his hand as an anticipatory shudder rippled through him.

Brendan then took the bottle from him poured a generous amount onto his fingers. Ste got up on his knees either side of Brendan's waist and rested his hands on Brendan's torso while he watched and felt the Irishman prepare him.

Then it was all go. He exhaled slowly as he gradually sat down on Brendan. He took his time. The first push in was delicious and the stretch divine. Brendan filled him up completely, in a way he had never experienced before.

When he felt the graze on his prostate he jolted and emitted a soft laugh it was so unexpected. He knew that he probably looked demented with his slack mouth, eyes closed, arched back, lean muscles strained in sharp relief, and cock pointing to the sky but Ste simply didn't care.

He let out the slow guttural groan of passion escape his lips.

Brendan just felt right; big, firm yet a perfect fit. There was just the right amount of friction as he started to rise and fall on him. He hadn't taken Brendan all the way in but he was working towards it, pushed down further down his cock with every downward push.

"Oh my God!" Ste gasped then whispered, "You are so big!" then licked his lips.

Brendan had to laugh as he gently coaxed Ste down until he was finally fully seated on him. Goose pimples erupted over Ste's body.

"In a good way?" Brendan asked already knowing the answer.

"Yeah." Ste sighed.

"That's what every bloke wants to hear."

Ste leaned down for a kiss as Brendan rushed his hands over the escort's buttocks and up over his back, pulling him down.

Ste set the pace at first, defining speed and frequency. When Brendan took over, he languidly pushed up into Ste until the lad's moans of encouragement led Brendan to jack hammer into him from below. They built up a sweat through their exertions and it was only a matter of time before Brendan needed more manoeuvrability and control.

He pulled out and positioned Ste smoothly onto his back, eliciting a laugh of surprise from the younger man.

Then he grabbed Ste's bent thighs to pull him to the edge of the bed.

He drove back in hard, out of need and desperation. Ste arched his back up off the bed like a primed bow, shouting out a cry of passion as he felt Brendan hit him in the right spot. Then he gripped Brendan's buttock's, encouraging him to go faster, harder, deeper both verbally and tactilely.

Brendan obliged; coursing his hands over Ste's chest, tweaking his nipples, kissing his mouth, neck and shoulders, sucking his toes and up his legs. He went for anything he could get his hands on while he repeatedly buried himself in Ste's heat. Occasionally he grabbed hold of the lad's dick which remained constantly hard as it lay on his stomach.

When the escort came it was out of the blue. Neither saw it coming. Ste shot streams of cum hands-free all over his chest. He came so hard that he had thought he was going to pass out. He pulled Brendan into him, deeper, trying to share in the sensation of soaring and falling all at once.

His climax propelled Brendan's. He felt the man shudder and spasm over him as his inner muscles continued to contract around Brendan's shaft. The Irishman tonelessly fell onto him breathing harshly into his ear as they embraced each other and rode out the last of the aftershocks.

Brendan's rapid heartbeat knocked against his as they lay chest to chest. Ste couldn't keep his hands off him. He felt up the warm, sweaty plains of skin and kissed over his face, chest and ultimately mouth. Deliciously post-coital.

Deeply intimate.

Right now even though they were strangers who had come together by unconventional means, they had shared something. Ste felt bound to this man.

He hadn't faked this call out. Not one second of it. Not after Caden batted his eyelids, touched Brendan's chest and run his hand down towards his groin. Ste couldn't understand why but he had been unable to keep the mask of his alter ego up with Brendan.

He closed his eyes.

Brendan had fucked Ste not Caden and there was a difference as far as the escort was concerned.

Ste felt ridiculously vulnerable because he had given more of himself than he had intended and because he didn't fuck strangers like this and definitely not for money.

He felt the pleasure and joy of this encounter fade.

The French called an orgasm '_la petite mort'_ as in _the little death._ Ste had never got that as much as he did now.

As he felt Brendan finally move above him, Ste told himself to buckle up and stop being a twat. The alter ego thing was a load of shit anyway. It was still his body that was being used whether he pretended that mentally he wasn't the one fucking for money or not.

It was still just him. His body.

Steven Hay's body.

He was surprised when he felt a pressure on his lips. He opened his eyes and instinctively kissed Brendan back.

God. It felt so good.

But he cut it short because Brendan was a client not a prospective boyfriend or whatever and Ste was getting his lines blurred.

"That was incredible, Caden." Brendan told him.

_Caden_.

Ste forced a smile. Caden. Yeah that is who he was. "So were you."

Brendan disentangled himself from his embrace, pulled out carefully and disposed of the loaded condom. Then he stood up and looked down at Ste as he lay there.

Ste let his legs hang off the bed. His flaccid cock rested on his belly and his cum was all over him. He knew his belly became convex and his ribs prominent with every breath out.

At this point he wondered what kind of client Brendan was going to be now. There were two sorts; the 'we've fucked, now piss off' type or the 'we've fucked, now let's cuddle' type.

Brendan looked at the clock and run a shaky hand through his hair.

"Fuck, can you imagine that an hour and a quarter have passed? I've got to get back to work."

He laughed in surprise.

Ste didn't reply. Instead he got up and looked around for something he could use to clean up.

"I'm going to grab a shower here." Brendan pointed to an _en suite_ bathroom. "There is another shower in the next room if you want to clean up before you go."

"Thanks." Ste said.

"No. Thank you. You are better than therapy." Brendan smiled lopsidedly before disappearing into the adjacent room.

{~}

Brendan walked into the en suite bathroom, tapped one of the buttons on the panel and stepped into a hot jet of water letting it wash over him.

He thought to himself, _what the fuck just happened there? That is not what I expected out of the call out. A little fun maybe but not a mind blowing connection and the most explosive climax he had ever experienced._

He took hold of the soap bar and heard the light patter of feet as Caden walked into the bathroom and through the glass shower door to join Brendan while giving him a tentative smile as he closed the shower door behind him.

"Mind if I join you?" He asked.

Brendan gave him a curious look. "Never. Lost your way to the other bathroom?"

Interesting. Caden didn't need to come here now that they were done and he had 'fulfilled his duties'. That is why Brendan had suggested using the other bathroom.

This was like a complimentary extra.

Brendan raised an eyebrow at him.

The escort shrugged and placed his hands over Brendan's body closing the gap between them. "No."

Brendan tapped the panel again and a further jet of water started up that washed over Caden.

He looked up in wonder at the sheet of water that covered both him and Brendan evenly.

"Pretty cool, isn't it? So no one hogs the water." Brendan explained.

Ste nodded.

Brendan run his bar of soap over the lad cleaning him; hair, face, hands, arms, neck, chest, back, butt, ass crack, legs.

"You're a sexy thing, aren't you?" He murmured unable to resist a kiss and a grope.

"I think you are." Caden responded.

"So then maybe we could do this again." Brendan passed the soap over when he was done and Caden returned the favour of cleaning him.

He spent an unnecessarily long time on Brendan's cock, feeling it stiffen as he run his soapy hands over it. They exchanged a smile but Brendan pushed him off.

He gave him a wry grin. "Hey. No. Some of us have jobs to get to."

He was surprised when Caden dropped his playfulness and suddenly went quite and moody.

"Yeah. Sure. I get it." The lad marched out of the shower, grabbed a towel and stormed back into the bedroom to Brendan's confusion.

What had he said?

He quickly washed up and rinsed off then darted out into the room with a bath towel around his waist.

Caden was getting dressed very quickly as if he couldn't wait to get out of their quickly enough. Brendan didn't understand why. He thought that had had a great time together.

Had he missed something?

"You're going?" He asked.

Caden stormed up to him when he was fully clothed. His wet hair was dripping water onto his dry clothes.

"Yes. I thought that is what you wanted. That'll be £250 please."

Brendan wrapped his towel tighter around his waist and looked bewildered. "Am I missing something here? Are you angry with me?"

"No." Ste lied and tried to moderate his voice. "It's just I've got to go too, so, if you could give me my money and then-"

"Oh right."

Brendan was shocked at how clinical the escort became suddenly. He had never been called naive in his life but this encounter had felt very different to the other two times he had paid for sex. Then he had felt like the money matched the service.

Not today.

Of course he knew that the transaction was sex for money but he felt that their connection had run deeper than that.

Clearly not.

He pulled out two previously counted rolls of cash and nearly placed them in Caden's hand then pulled them away.

{~}

Ste sighed in frustration at what he perceived as power games. Did Brendan want him to beg for the money because Ste was really not up for that shit? Not today.

He was surprised when he felt Brendan slip the money into his back pocket and then grab Ste's chin between his thumb and forefinger before giving him a gentle kiss.

"I had a great time, Caden or..." His eyes twinkled roguishly, "...whoever you are. I'm 110% satisfied. So I am sorry about whatever it is I have said that has pissed you. I didn't mean to. I thought we made magic happen."

Ste opened his mouth as he felt a thud in his chest. He couldn't speak so instead he cleared his throat and nodded slowly.

"And I wouldn't mind more of the same in Liverpool. What do you say?"

_NO!_ Ste's subconscious screamed at him.

"Yes." He eventually squeaked out.

He couldn't understand what he was feeling and why he was behaving like a fool.

Like why did he follow Brendan into the shower?

What had he thought would happen?

All he knew is that he hadn't felt like this before with a client. With anyone.

Maybe that is what a great fuck did to someone.

He went to adjust his satchel strap and then remembered that he had left it downstairs by the door.

He was back to the bag of nerves he had been when he arrived. "I'm going to go now."

"I'll call you with final plans for Liverpool."

"Okay."

"Bye, Caden."

"Bye, Brendan."

Ste practically sprinted down the two flights of stairs, stopping only long enough to grab his bag.

He dashed out of the main door and across the road. He looked at his time.

_14.36_

Shit. He had to pick up the kids in less than half an hour but first he had to see someone. For his head. So that his kids didn't see their father in a mess.

He went to the gallery that Doug was working in unaware that Brendan was looking down at him from his apartment.

He ran in and rushed over to Doug who was with a customer trying to sell a painting that Ste knew hadn't shifted off the walls of the gallery for months for good reason.

It sucked.

He pulled his mate away after apologising to the customer for the interruption.

"Damn it, bro. I nearly had that deal locked down!" Doug moaned as Ste dragged him to a corner of the gallery. That's when he clocked Ste's bag. He dropped his voice and whispered. "That's your work bag. Have you been with a client?"

Ste nodded.

"I hope you washed after." Doug teased.

"Funny." Ste replied. For some reason he felt like crying but he also felt like laughing. He didn't know what to feel.

He just knew he had to share what he had just been through.

"Why are you looking like someone stole your laptop?"

"I'm not."

"Then what is it? Who were you with? Tell me it was Noel. God, he is so hot!"

Ste shook his head. Doug had an unhealthy crush on that particular _Dirty Dozener_ although he had only ever seen him from a distance usually from behind a bit of shrubbery when Noel took Ste out on 'dates'.

"It was a new one."

"Oh yeah. Kevin's replacement." Doug said. "How did it go? How was he?"

"I don't know. It was weird..."

Then he remembered that he had been so flustered at the end that he hadn't even checked how much Brendan paid him.

He dug into his back pocket and took the cash out. Immediately the thickness of the rolls told him that he had been overpaid.

Doug looked at the cash and then at his friend in shock as they counted the money together.

£500.

Why did Brendan pay him so much? Nothing they did justified paying the escort double.

"What the fuck did you do for the guy?" He asked.

"Just the usual. Standard stuff."

Nothing that incurred an extra charge.

Doug didn't like the look in Ste's eyes.

"No, Ste."

"No what?"

"Your eyes."

"What about them?"

"Are you going to see him again."

"Thursday. Liverpool."

"Cancel it."

"Why?"

"It's written all over you, dude. You fancy the shit out of him."


	5. Daniel and David

**Hi Folks,**

**Thank you so much for reviewing. Honestly totally stoked by all of them. Here is more. Hope you enjoy. **

**Chips**

**x**

{~}

"It's written all over you, dude. You fancy the shit out of him."

Ste thought he did a convincing job of creasing his face up into an expression of affront before saying,

"As if! Shut up!"

"You so do!" Doug exclaimed.

"Yeah, right. Sure. I fancy him." Ste said sarcastically.

"Then why are you barging in here looking like Cheryl Cole died? I've probably lost a sale because of you!" Doug folded his arms across his chest.

Ste shook his head. "I don't know. It was weird, right. The whole experience."

Doug frowned. "Weird how? Is he into some kinky ass shit like Kev was? Or was he just plain shit?"

"No." Ste said thinking about how Brendan was anything but shit in bed. "No. He was really good."

He felt himself go red.

Doug peered at him. "Did you go all the way?"

Ste rolled his eyes at Doug. "Memo to Doug. Do you know what I do for a living?"

Doug lifted an impatient eyebrow so Ste said, "Yes, we went all the way."

He tried to ignore the flashes of memory that came to mind of the last hour and a half. His skin tingled just thinking about it.

"And when you say good, are we talking 'Botticelli's St. Sebastian good' or 'Donatello's David in bronze good'?"

"I am talking 'Michelangelo's David' good." Ste said with gravitas.

"Fuck. That's like out of this world and silly good." Doug said, in awe.

"I know."

"Where did you hook up?"

"His apartment. It's just down the road, above GH1."

"The salon?"

"Yeah."

"Another man with too much money, huh?"

"Looks like it."

"What does he do for a living?"

Ste shrugged. Nothing in that soulless apartment had given away anything about who Brendan was, never mind his career.

His stomach grumbled loudly out of the blue.

Doug frowned. Ste could almost see his friend morphing into Amy as he said, "You haven't had lunch, have you?"

"No." Then defensively, "But I had a full English this morning at the _Coffee Hut_. Didn't your spy tell you?"

"Yes he did but that was early this morning, Ste. You've got to take care of yourself. Wait here. I've got a spare sandwich from the café round the back."

He returned with a roll wrapped in brown paper held together with a sticker with a _Coffee Hut_ logo on it and an apple (Doug was obsessed with apples). "Here."

"Thanks. Did your boyfriend bring this round for your lunch?" Ste said, feeling a slight jab of envy as he ripped into the wrapper and took a big bite into the sandwich. Tuna.

"Yeah. He brought two so I could choose. I went with the chicken, bacon and avocado." Doug's eyes softened when talking about Benji. "I've told him to stop being so cute."

When he confessed to Ste months ago that he had slept with the history of art undergraduate Ste assumed it would be an awkward one off; a product of the American's proximity to the student while they worked long hours together at the coffee shop. But then they kept sleeping together and one day Doug told Ste that he was thinking of asking Benji to move in with him. That was when it hit Ste that as unlikely as the camp, gentle student and boisterous, playful American were they were serious about each other. Scratch the surface and they made sense. They had an effortless rapport and bond. They really cared for each other.

Ste envied their relationship, the bubble of affection Doug and Benji lived in together, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to pursue a relationship for himself. Not yet. Not after past experience. Maybe not ever.

So maybe there was more than one reason why escorting made sense for him right now. It would be nearly impossible to sustain a proper relationship as long as he was doing what he did. His job provided a great excuse for not having a boyfriend at the moment.

He took another bite of food and said, "I should go and pick up the kids."

"Cool." Doug said. "By the way, are we still on for tomorrow?"

Ste rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I guess."

Doug sensed his nerves. "You'll be fine. We'll all do it. We'll all be fine."

"Yeah, I hope so." Ste said. "Better to know than not, right?"

"Right."

"See you."

"Say hi to Ames and the kids for me."

They hugged briefly before Ste walked out the door with his half eaten sandwich and apple in hand.

{~}

"When I said I wanted us to do something together this is not what I had in mind." Benji groaned as he and Doug followed Amy and Ste into the Sexual Health clinic. He curled his lip in distaste as they walked through the drab waiting room towards the reception desk. Dour looking patients awaited their turn to be seen by the nurse or doctor. "Why are we doing this anyway? We were all given the all clear two months ago."

"That was two months ago." Amy said.

"Yeah. Exactly. I feel like we're here all the time. You are in a steady relationship with Lee, Ste never gets laid..." Amy, Doug and Ste looked at each other "... and Doug and I have only done it with each other since last time so I don't get the point. Should I be worried?" He looked at his boyfriend with an expression of accusation.

Ste was extremely aware that the reason Doug and Amy made such a meal of these trips was for his benefit despite their assurances that they would have gotten checked regularly anyway because they were 'responsible sexual beings'.

If Ste was being honest, he was anxious about his appointment particularly because yesterday he had slipped up with Brendan and hadn't taken as thorough a precaution as he could have done.

Doug smiled. "Don't look at me like that, Ben! I haven't played away but it's still good to check. Keeps it real."

"But they'll stick swabs up my willy." Benji whispered into his ear.

"Stop moaning." Doug said with a gentle smile, wrapping an arm around him and briefly snuggling his face into the croak of his boyfriend's neck. "Once we're done here we can all have lunch. Deal?"

Benji mumbled, "Are you paying?"

Doug broke out into a grin. "Fucking students!"

"Are you?"

Ste smiled at their exchange.

"Yes, I'll pay."

"Then okay."

They gave their names in at reception and sat down on two sets of hard chairs that faced each other to wait their turn.

"So, Ste, any fit men on the horizon?" Benji asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Like dates or something?"

Doug detected Ste's unease so he said a warning, "Babe."

"What, I'm just curious. Cute guy like him. He should be fighting them off with a stick. Didn't you say that it's been well over a year since he went out with someone? That's like a proper drought. I don't get it. Look at him."

"No." Doug blushed and looked down. "I didn't say anything."

Ste felt his heart beat speed up and his ears ring and his breathing become laboured. He didn't want to discuss the events of over a year ago.

"Yeah, you did, babe. Like a month ago when we were in bed and I asked you why Ste was single. You even told me the guy's name. What was it again?" Benji clicked his fingers trying to recall. "Began with a C."

Amy blanched and looked accusingly at Doug.

"I don't really want to talk about him." Ste forced out through a dry mouth in a voice that did not sound like his own.

"Caden! That's it, isn't it?" Benji said triumphantly.

{~}

"Come in, Ste. Take a seat."

Ste did as told while Dr. Holt looked through his medical records. Always a different doctor. How nice to know that an ever increasing number of people knew about his business, not just the intimate stuff. "So how have things been since we last saw you?"

Ste shuffled nervously in his seat. "Yeah. Okay. I guess."

The doctor smiled at him kindly. "You seem nervous."

"Because I know what you are going to ask me and because you have read my notes so."

"Why does that make you nervous?"

Ste shrugged. "I know what people think about people like me. One of my friends out there doesn't even know what I do."

"I'm not here to judge. I'm here to help and everything you say here is confidential to the clinic. So shall we get started?"

Ste nodded.

"When was the last time you had sex?"

"Yesterday."

"Man or woman."

Ste looked at the doctor like he was stupid.

"I can't make assumptions." Dr Holt said, as he ticked 'man' in his notes. "Oral or anal?"

"Both."

"Did you receive or give?"

"We gave each other blow jobs then he, you know, me." Ste blushed as he vaguely used his hands to demonstrate which way round things had been with Brendan.

"Did you use a condom when he penetrated you?"

Ste looked down.

"Yes."

"Did it split or slip?"

"No."

"Did you use one for the blow-job?"

"No. Sorry." Ste said, feeling really dumb for messing up. He never slipped up.

"I'm not telling you off, Ste, but we'll talk about that later."

"I know what you are going to say. I should have used a condom."

"We all make mistakes in the heat of the moment. It's about minimising the risk and finding ways to not make that happen."

"Yeah, I know. I got carried away. I don't normally."

"Have you had sex with anyone else in the last six months?"

"Yes."

"How many?"

"Twelve, no, thirteen other people. I was careful with all of them... for everything." Ste said truthfully.

"How many times a week would you say you have sex."

"Maybe two or three times."

The doctor scribbled on his notes some more and Ste wondered whether his frequency was a bad thing. "Did you give or receive with them?"

"Depends on the client. Give with seven, receive with the rest. We don't always do it, you know."

"Have you had any new symptoms recently?"

"Like?"

"Discharge from your penis or anus?"

_Oh my God._

"No."

"Burning sensation when you pass urine?"

Ste shook his head.

"Any lumps or bumps, painful or otherwise on your penis, testicles or anus?"

"No."

"Any pain or bleeding during or after sex?"

"No."

"Okay."

"And you are still normally fit and well?"

"Yes."

The doctor referred back to his old notes again. "No longstanding problems after what happened last year?"

Ste shrugged wanting to gloss over those events, hoping the doctor wouldn't want to probe deeper. "I'm fine."

"Good. A small miracle that, wasn't it? You, surviving."

"Maybe." Ste said quietly.

"Do you smoke?"

"No."

"Drink alcohol?"

"About seven units a week. Wine normally or lager. More if I'm going out."

"Drugs? Medicinal? Recreational?"

"No. Nothing. Hay fever tablets sometimes."

Another look at his notes, "And are your kids and Amy still living with you?"

"Yes, why?" Ste was suddenly on edge.

"Just asking."

"I'm a great dad to my kids, you know. What I do has nothing to do with that."

"It's just a standard question, Ste. With some STIs, if you come back positive I might give you advice that is relevant to your kids that's all. Anyway, I am through with asking questions. You okay for me to examine you?"

"I suppose."

"You know the drill. Jeans and pants off and lie on the couch. I'll give you some privacy and be back in a tick."

"Thanks."

{~}

Once they were done at the clinic the four headed on foot towards a restaurant that was a favourite of theirs because it was somehow really good while remaining reasonably priced. Moroccan food at its best.

On their way Benji received a phone call from one of his course mates, his number one fag hag, who was having a 'crisis of epic proportions'. He groaned and rolled his eyes but said he had to go because he was her 'gay crusader' and had to 'save the day' leaving the three best friends to enjoy lunch alone.

Amy and Ste teased Doug about dating a university student until the American pointed out that while he was the oldest in their rectangle of friendship he was still only three years older than his nineteen year old boyfriend.

After a moment's silence, he said, "Hey, Ste, I'm sorry about Benji's comment earlier. It must have slipped out of my mouth, you know, about Caden."

Ste tried not to show how much he bristled at Doug bringing up the subject. He wanted it buried and yet today it seems to be hitting him from all angles. "It's okay. No big deal. I totally forgot about it already."

"It's just that Ben has a point. You haven't dated anyone since things ended with Caden and I get why but it's been a long time, man."

Ste got defensive. "I've been on dates. It's just nothing's worked out."

Amy pitched in. "When you subtract the clients I can count the number of proper dates you have had on one hand, babes."

"Maybe the clients are the problem." Doug said. "It can't be easy to develop a relationship when you are doing what you do."

Ste stared at him with dagger eyes.

Doug raised his hands up defensively. "I'm just saying."

"I know what you are saying; I just don't need anyone right now. And anyway, who says people need to be in relationship? I'm fine on my own. Just because you guys are all lovey dovey with boyfriends doesn't mean everyone wants that."

Doug and Amy went silent at that. There was no arguing that Ste was better off solo than being with someone like Caden but that wasn't saying much. Caden had been bordering on psychopathic.

They got to the restaurant, were seated almost immediately and proceeded to order without referring to their menus as they each went for their usual dishes and a bottle of red wine to share.

"I don't know about you but my clinic appointment was fun." Doug said drily changing the subject to lighten the mood. "Every orifice explored and swabbed and then the blood test. Jesus."

"It was literally a pain in the arse." Ste mumbled.

"I thought you liked a pain in the arse." Amy joked.

"Ha. Funny."

"Now we have a week to wait for all the results." Doug said.

"Yeah." Amy said. "It never stops being embarrassing and worrying, does it?"

"You felt embarrassed?" Ste said incredulously. "I had to tell the doctor about all sorts. Bet he thinks I'm a right slut."

Doug and Amy looked at him pointedly.

"Fuck off!" He replied to their silent comment.

"But you've been careful yeah?" Amy said. "There's nothing to worry about."

"Yeah. No. I have." Ste decided not to tell them about Brendan and the unprotected oral. The doctor had told him that the chance of transmission of blood borne diseases was negligible and that everything else was treatable with a short course of antibiotics if he swabbed positive.

_Lovely_, he thought sarcastically.

He just had to make sure he wasn't silly like that again.

Amy grinned. "Did you tell Doug about Brendan?" She looked at Doug. "Did he tell you about Brendan?"

"Yeah. He's been blown away by him, hasn't he? Get it? Blown."

Amy giggled. "Blown! Ha!"

"Not funny, guys." Ste mumbled.

Their wine came offering a welcome distraction for Ste from the topic of conversation. He took a big gulp out of his glass. "And I'm not blown away by anyone," he said before taking another sip.

Amy ignored him. She ran a finger over the edge of her wine while ruminating,

"This is what I don't get, right, why is someone like Brendan paying for sex?" She ticked off her fingers. "Because Ste says he is hot, young and well off. I don't get it."

Ste hadn't thought of that.

"You are thinking about it all wrong." Doug said. "You are making the assumption that all people who pay for sex can't get laid any other way. Maybe they do it because they can or because it gives them control or because it is more convenient like ordering take out. Or maybe it is because they can compartmentalise their life better that way."

"I guess." Amy said. "Which one do you think it is, Ste?"

"How am I supposed to know?" He said but he was thinking about which reason suited Brendan best. The Irishman had said that the apartment in Chester was a weekday living pad. Maybe he had a wife and kids waiting for him at a family home somewhere who were none the wiser about him turning the apartment into a shag pad to fuck rent boys in.

Maybe Brendan was that kind of guy.

A grade A scummy, cheating, closeted twat.

Ste downed the rest of his glass of wine and poured himself another.

"Hey there, cowboy, we've just sat down." Doug said, "Pace yourself!"

"I guess people will have assumptions about Ste too." Amy said reflectively. "They don't get that he is amazing and that he is a great dad. And that he works bloody hard. And that he is a super talented genius with graphics and computers."

Doug smiled, "Have you paid her to say all this?"

Ste smiled then shook his head.

"I'm serious." Amy said earnestly. "You have been through some major shit over the last year and a bit and instead of letting it defeat you, you found a solution. And I know being an escort isn't what you imagined you would ever be doing, Ste, but it shows that you never give up and that you would do anything to make things better for yourself and those who you love."

"Aw." Doug said, deciding not to cut in with a sarcastic comment to his friend's heartfelt words.

Ste said. "It still doesn't change the fact that no one is hiring me. I don't have qualifications to back up what I can do."

"Don't worry about that." Doug said encouragingly. "Steve Jobs never finished college and he invented Apple. Fucking Apple, dude. All you need is to get a foot in the door, my friend."

"Yes." He said trying to be positive. "I've applied to a couple more jobs so fingers crossed." Ste said as their food arrived.

They tucked in as Amy said, "So do you still think Brendan has potential to become a _Dirty Dozener_?"

The client was like a conversation boomerang. They kept coming back to him.

Ste cleared his throat after taking a bite out of his lamb _tagine_ and _couscous_. He felt his face go red. "Maybe."

Doug lifted an expressive eyebrow.

"He pays well." Amy commented.

Doug looked at Ste closely. "I don't think that is the reason for Ste's hesitation, Ames. Look, dude, remember what I said. Just be careful, yeah?"

He looked pointedly at Ste.

_It's written all over you, dude. You fancy the shit out of him._

"Why?" Amy frowned. "Do you think he is dodgy?"

"No." Doug said.

"There is nothing to worry about." Ste said. "And definitely not for the reason you think, Doug. I have it under control."

"Are you sure?"

Ste nodded.

"Why are you guys talking in code?" Amy asked suspiciously.

"Gays talking, sweetie. I don't expect you to understand. Keep eating your _Merguez_**.**" Doug said sweetly as he tucked into his meal.

{~}

After lunch Doug went back to the café for his afternoon shift, Amy took Ste's car to pick up the kids from nursery and school and Ste made his way on foot to his favourite computer shop to indulge the geek in him with the two hundred quid he had in his pocket.

Doug's words kept reverberating through his head as he looked at the software products on sale trying to find something that would compliment and improve the graphics software already on his laptop.

_You fancy the shit out of him._

He didn't, did he? And so what if he did a little. Ste found Dan, Dave and Noel attractive and that was okay. He was still able to get on with his job professionally and keep the client-escort relationship well defined. So what was the problem if he fancied Brendan? It was probably just a first time thing anyway and even if it wasn't it would just make his job easier not having to pretend that he was enjoying himself. He could consider it a perk of the job. All jobs had them. In his case it was having sex with someone he actually didn't mind having sex with.

No harm in that.

So Thursday could go ahead.

He just had to stop looking forward to it as much as he was because that was ridiculous.

He grinned from ear to ear when he found the bit of software he was looking for and took the CD to the counter.

It was while he was paying for it that his phone started ringing. Ste's heart thudded in his chest involuntarily as he took the phone from his pocket.

_He is calling to finalise plans for Liverpool._

When he checked his phone it wasn't Brendan. Ste was surprised at how disappointed he felt. Still the caller could have been worse.

"Hi Dan." He said with a smile.

"Hi kitten." Dan said. The story behind the reason for Ste's nickname was not suitable for decent company. "Long time no fuck."

Dan and Dave headed a stockbroker and investment management firm in the heart of Liverpool's business district. They had started working as brokers in a large investment firm in London before meeting each other, falling in love and then deciding to set up their own business in Dan's home town and bringing their clients with them. So far their gamble was paying off.

When Ste first met them he had been shocked that they were a couple of five years. He couldn't understand why they were bringing a third person into their relationship and much less why they paid for it when he was sure that they could find a willing volunteer any day, but it seemed to work for them. They were as solid now as they had been when he met them months ago.

_'You spice things up for us and keep it fresh, kitten.'_ Dave had explained. _'And because it's you there is no seed of jealousy. We know where we stand.'_

"Yeah. What's it been? A month?" Ste said slipping effortlessly into Caden as he walked out of the store and headed towards his car until he realised Amy had it and walked to the bus stop instead.

"Something like that."

"How was Machu Picchu?"

"Fun. Beautiful. You would have loved it. You could have taken arty farty pictures."

Ste laughed. He didn't share intimate details of his personal life to his clients but some of them knew little morsels about him and one such morsel was his love for photography which lent itself well to his passion for graphic design.

"Next time." Ste said.

"You do know we would have got you a ticket if it wasn't for your stupid Liverpool and Chester rule." Dan said. Ste could hear the man's smile. "You are our little kitten after all. We missed you."

Ste smiled. He had forgotten how embracing the couple was with him.

"And Dave missed your cock of course." Dan said.

"Oh yeah?" Ste said as he drew to a stop at the bus stop. There were a bunch of kids in uniform and a few pensioners waiting. "What about it?"

"Everything. How it looks. How it feels in his hand and mouth. How it feels in his-"

"Hey!" Dave's voice cut into their conversation. "Are you talking about me?"

Dan laughed. "Get off the line, bubba. This is a private conversation. Put the phone down."

"No. What were you saying?"

"Caden, would you believe we only just got home from the airport an hour ago. We haven't even unpacked yet." Dan said.

"Why are you talking to our kitten without me?" His boyfriend said.

"I was telling our kitten how much we missed him when we were away and if you hadn't interrupted our conversation I was going to arrange for him to come over so you could have a ride on him. It was meant to be a surprise. A treat for you, my pumpkin." Dan said.

"Really?" Dave said.

"Yeah."

Ste waited patiently while they talked about him as if he wasn't there. Funny how it didn't sting so much when they did but it had when Brendan had.

"So what do you say, kitten?"

"Huh?" Ste said.

"What are you doing on Thursday? Fancy coming to Liverpool for some fun with two hunks that are hot for you?" Dan asked.

_Shit._

Thursday?

Liverpool?

"This Thursday?" He asked.

"Yes. An all nighter. Should be fun."

"Oh. I can't." Ste said hastily as he thought of Brendan; his dewy skin, lopsided smile and deep blue eyes. "Sorry."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No. I've got something else on. Can't change it. Sorry." He repeated.

"But we got you a present and everything." Dave said enticingly.

"That's really sweet. Maybe some other time." Ste saw his bus come up and said, "We'll talk soon, yeah? See you."

"What? Caden-"

The escort put the phone down.

{~}

That evening, Ste helped Amy make a supper of alphabet pasta with sauce full of hidden vegetables for their kids. They stuck to a light salad in response to their heavy lunch.

Amy was quiet, gently stirring the sauce in a meditative trance while Ste cut up tomatoes, cucumbers and avocadoes to throw into a large clear glass bowl.

The kids couldn't be heard and Ste knew why. They were next door in the living room, lying on their tummies, their chins on open palms, eyes peeled on the television, already dressed in pyjamas and watching a video of the _Lion King_.

Again.

He knew that he would have to get in there soon to fast forward through the 'howibel bit, daddie, when Musasa is deaded.' as Lucas called it the first time. 'It's Mufasa, Lucas,' his sister had corrected him as if she were an old wise man.

"You're quiet." Ste said to Amy.

"Just thinking."

"About?"

She looked at him then, "You."

He frowned. "What about me?"

"Just what we were talking about earlier, you know, about Caden."

Ste felt his defensive barriers coming up. "What about him?"

"I have respected the fact that you don't want to talk about what happened with him. Now I am thinking that was not such a good idea and that the reason you haven't been in a relationship since is totally linked to what happened with him."

Ste swallowed hard and made a show of tossing the salad. "You think too much."

"You doing this escorting, it isn't about proving you can be like him, is it Ste? I mean, able to separate your heart from your brain."

"No." He said. "What makes you say that?"

"You call yourself Caden." She said then took the sauce off the boil and turned around to fully face him. "I was on the website a couple of hours ago. Dan sent a message saying that you brushed him and Dave off for Thursday."

"Because I've got an overnight call out with Brendan. I can't be in two places at once."

"All I am saying is better the devil you know." Amy reasoned. "If I were you I would cancel Brendan."

"Daddy!" Leah shouted from the room next door. "Mufasa, daddy!"

Ste ran into the living room and grabbed the remote. He positioned himself in front of the screen to shield the cartoon images of a lion's fall from a rock face into a valley full of a stampede of wildebeest from his children. He knew this scene well; Mufasa, King of Pride Rock about to be killed by a loved one.

It resonated with him. Too close to home.

He pressed the fast forward button as he felt tears swell in his eyes.

{~}

Brendan was running late on Thursday. His morning meeting overran so the walk to his apartment in Chester was a brisk one as eleven, the time he had meant to meet up with Caden, came and went.

The weather was still grey and uninspiring by the time he got to his apartment's front door, with his briefcase in hand. Caden was already there waiting for him with his black satchel and a travel bag on the ground resting against his leg.

Seeing him again brought filthy thoughts to mind; images of the time they spent together just a few floors above. It made Brendan want to forgo his meeting with Walker, drag the lad inside and jump his bones.

Especially with the way he was looking.

The escort was rocking geek chic; dressed up in a pair of leather loafers, smart trousers, a shirt and tie, under a light sweater. A pair of black horn-rimmed glasses finished off the look.

Brendan smiled. "You wear glasses."

"Yes." Caden grinned back as he pushed them up his nose. "Sorry. I had, um, distractions at home so I didn't have time to wear my contacts. I'll put them in now if you want."

"Don't. Glasses suit you." Brendan said truthfully looking him up and down.

Caden looked at his own clothes. "I thought I'd dress up a little because I remember you saying you were in Liverpool for business. I thought this way if we bumped into someone you knew while you were with me there would be fewer questions."

_Clever boy_, Brendan thought. "Caden, my business associate." He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah." The escort grinned. He stuck out his hand and shook Brendan's briskly. "Pleased to meet you, sir."

"Too late for introductions after Monday, don't you think?" Brendan said, stilling their hands but holding on.

Caden held his gaze. His pupils dilated under that ridiculous fan of lashes. The lad was remembering. "I'm not so sure. I don't even know your surname."

Brendan grinned. "I don't know your name... 'Caden'."

Caden stepped in closer. He whispered, "Good point. So really we don't know each other, do we?"

Brendan shook his head, "Isn't it so much better that way?"

The escort tongue darted out to lick his lips, "Yes."

"Less complicated." Brendan said then looked around them at the busy pedestrian street. He was still holding Caden's hand so he dropped it.

The lad had the power to draw him in. It was beyond his control but he needed to exercise control. Liverpool was waiting for them so he smoothed his own tie down and reached over to pick up Caden's belongings.

"It's okay, I've got them." Caden said quickly, reaching for his bags.

"Let a man do a small good deed for another man." Brendan said before leaning into his ear and whispering, "Before he gets down and dirty on him later."

He winked as he straightened up. Caden swallowed.

"Ready to go?" Brendan asked innocently.

"Yeah." The response sounded like a croak.

_I have an effect on him too. Good. It's not just one way then._ Brendan thought._ Don't touch him now or you'll never leave Chester and you'll be warming the sheets upstairs again. _

"Follow me."

Caden looked across the street briefly and Brendan followed his eye line to a coffee shop.

He squinted but couldn't see who or what the lad was looking at so he lead the way in silence to his black Mercedes-Benz CL-Class which was parked around the back. Caden silently walked round to the passenger seat, climbed in and put his seatbelt on. Brendan put the escort's bags in the boot where his overnight bag was and then got into the driver's seat.

In the confines of the car the pull to kiss the escort was stronger than his hate for tardiness. He leaned over, without taking his hands off the steering wheel and gear stick, and laid a gentle kiss on Caden's lips. That was all it was meant to be but Caden had to go and open his mouth under Brendan's light pressure and groan like he craved more and creep a hand around the nape of the older man's neck so that Brendan had little choice but to succumb to an embrace far deeper and more passionate than he had intended.

When they parted they stayed close enough to feel each other's breath against their lips, foreheads connected. Brendan was ready for more but there was no time. He teasingly licked Caden's top lip which earned him a smile in return before pulling away and muttering,

"You're making a grown man behave like an adolescent. I hope you are happy with yourself."

He pushed the lad back into his seat with a single hand pressed firmly into his chest and rubbed his own lips to remove the trace memory of the kid on him so that he could compose himself.

"Now stay there." He said firmly. Caden giggled but didn't move. "Good boy."

He put on his seat belt and started the car. It purred into action as he pulled out of the private drive, turning the music that blared out of the speakers off. He really didn't need any more distraction than the human shaped one to his left.

"Was that Motown?" Caden asked.

"Yes." Brendan briefly looked over at him as they hit the road. "How did you-"

"I know my music. I know a lot about a lot of things."

"Is that a fact?" Brendan drawled.

"Yes." Caden said. He leaned over to turn the music on but lowered the volume so that he could easily talk over it. "Actually the truth is growing up I heard this song a lot. It is a _Temptations_ track."

_Well, well, well._ Brendan was surprised that the escort had shared a sliver of personal information.

"It's called '_All I need'_." Caden said smugly.

_Never judge a book by its cover_,_ Brendan_. _Although I am still trying to figure out what that cover is where Caden was concerned._

Brendan said, "Actually, this isn't my album. I mean, not originally but I've heard it so many times that I think I like it now. If he was here, V-" He immediately cut himself short, wondering what possessed him to share with this stranger.

"It's not important." He said and glanced over at Caden before raising the volume so that they didn't need to talk to each other for a while.

The music played and filled the silence of the car. The atmosphere wasn't awkward at all but it was charged.

Brendan's eyes generally stayed on the road ahead but occasionally wandered to glance over at the escort. Caden's thigh was bouncing in a universal sign of agitation as he chewed at his inner cheek and looked out of the window. He was literally sitting on his hands as far away from Brendan as he possibly could be in his seat. Occasionally he would open his mouth as if about to say something, revealing his sharp canines and a peek of tongue only to shut it again.

They eventually joined the motorway that connected Chester with Liverpool and Brendan powered into the fast lane.

He looked over at Caden again. He noticed the flutter of the lad's heart beat in his neck and the bruise on it; a love bite. Brendan remembered licking, kissing, caressing and biting. He recalled the responsiveness of the escort.

Caden's hand went up to cover the blue-purple patch of skin just as the sun came out of the clouds, prompting Brendan to meet his gaze. The lad's eyes appeared Mediterranean blue in the bright light as he looked right back at Brendan.

"Could you please keep an eye on the road?" He asked nervously, rubbing his neck slowly.

"Not my fault you are so distracting." Brendan said as he concentrated his eyes on the road once again.

Caden went red. He shuffled in his seat to face Brendan. "Are you serious?"

"Yes." Brendan said.

"You're strange, you."

"Thanks."

"You say what is on your mind, don't you?"

"There are enough bullshitters in the world, Caden. I say what I mean and a mean what I say. If I don't want you to know something then I won't tell you but I won't lie to you."

"Right." The lad slumped back in his seat. He was closer now though, nearer to Brendan. "Since we are being honest you remember Monday...?"

"Yes." Brendan had to smile. How could he forget?

"When I came into the shower?"

"Yes."

"I just wanted you to know that I did it because, I don't know, I felt like it at the time. But it was nothing so like, whatever." Caden looked down to study his hands, playing with the nails of his fingers as if they held the secret to life. "Just thought you should know." He mumbled.

"Okay." Brendan didn't understand why the lad had felt the need to bring that up.

"And you overpaid me."

That sounded like an accusation.

"£250 didn't feel like enough." Brendan said simply. £500 hadn't felt like enough either but any more money would have seemed obscene and crass. "I thought your service that day, your performance, was worth far more than that."

"My performance?" Caden said. His hands balled into fists in his lap after a moment.

"Yes."

The lad's jaw set into an angry line. Once again Brendan felt he had said the wrong thing just like in the shower but he couldn't figure out what.

The lad slowly said, "Well you are paying for me now so do you want me to entertain you while you drive?"

At first Brendan wondered what Caden meant but then he felt the escort's long fingers move across his thigh to expertly unclasp his belt with one hand and then cup his groin. Brendan nearly went with it but when he glanced over at Caden's face he was shocked to see a blank expression, a far cry from the passion the escort had exuded from every pore a few days ago. It was almost as if now Caden felt duty bound and not passion driven.

And it shouldn't have really mattered only it did especially after how fervent Caden had been the first time they came together.

"No." Brendan said. "I want us to get there in one piece."

Caden sat back in silence, pushed his glasses up and crossed his arms in front of him; a fallen angel with a temper.

Jesus, the lad slipped into moodiness easily.

"You do know that your car is wrecking your carbon footprint, don't you?" He said testily.

That jab came out of nowhere and nearly made Brendan laugh.

"I'll be sure to plant some trees to make up for it." Brendan said.

{~}

It only took an hour and a half to get to the hotel; a short enough journey to mean Brendan could have made this a day trip. The truth was he needed to get out of his Chester apartment. That is why he had arranged an overnight stay at a hotel. Bringing Caden along was an extra bit of indulgence.

Brendan drove his car into the hotel car park and glanced over at the taciturn man sitting next to him. Things had turned decidedly frosty between them for reasons that were still unclear to him.

The thing was the chemistry between them was still there. Caden looked fucking cute when he was angry. His lean body was tense, his cheeks red and his lips pouty. He pushed his glasses up and stormed out of the car the minute it was parked.

When Brendan reached for his bags in the boot, Caden grabbed them first. The angry tension was all under the surface. At face value he still carried an air of polite professionalism that Brendan found infuriating yet amusing.

They took the lift to the hotel suite in silence. The lad finally spoke to him in more than monosyllabic tones when they entered their abode for the night.

"This isn't just a room."

"No." Brendan smiled. "It's a suite. There are two bedrooms through there; each with its own bathroom and this is the living room."

He lifted his arms out to his side.

"Which room do you want me to take?" Caden asked.

"Pick one."

"Thanks." Caden walked into the first one he came across with Brendan behind him and put his bags down on the bed.

Brendan passed the escort a copy of the suite key. "Here, make yourself at home. I'm going to get going soon but I should be back by five."

"Do you want me to be ready for you when you get back?" The lad asked.

Still with the blank lifeless face.

"Yes. I thought we could go to town. See where the night takes us." Brendan said. "I don't get a chance to do that normally. How does that sound?"

"Yeah okay." Caden turned away from him to start unpacking his bags.

"I don't want a 'boyfriend experience' or whatever you call it." Brendan clarified to his back.

This felt like talking to a brick wall. It was as if the kid had put his barriers up. Was the mood about money? Did the escort think Brendan was trying to fleece him by deliberately not asking for role play so that he wouldn't have to pay extra?

"Don't worry I'll pay extra for your company tonight when we are out. Is that what you are angry about?" Brendan asked.

Caden stopped what he was doing. He stood up straight, facing Brendan with his hands in fists. "Who says I'm angry."

Brendan pointed at his face. "Vein. Middle of forehead."

Caden stabbed a finger into his chest. "Let's get this straight, Brendan. If you want me to go out with you tonight I will. If you want us to fuck, we'll fuck. If you want me to strip for you, I'll strip. Your wish is my command, okay? That is how this works."

His finger flattened into a palm on the Irishman's chest.

"This is your show. Why don't you get it like all my other clients? Acting like my opinion counts and then talking about cost in the same breath is insulting. To me."

So that was what was chewing at the lad; being bought.

"Do you feel like I am using you?" Brendan asked.

"No. I think you are a hypocrite."

"Caden, I'm not the hypocrite here. _You_ have put a price to your time and the use of your body. You can't then get offended because I pay you. It's not fair. And I am not going to apologise for treating you like a fucking human being and asking your opinion on what to do together."

He saw the escort's gaze shift. Caden's hands fisted a portion of Brendan's shirt and his body leaned in ever so slightly.

Why the fuck did he not just boot Caden out? The escort was being a headache.

"Why are you making this so difficult? It's simple, Caden. We both get something out of this. You get money. I get release and much needed distraction. We both get great sex. Where is the harm?" Brendan brought their foreheads together. "It can't be like this every time; me saying something and you getting offended and tensions running high. I don't have time for drama. So what do you say?"

Brendan sensed a moment of hesitation from the boy then his arms wrapped themselves around Brendan's waist drawing him in.

"Yes." His deep sigh carried the weight of the world. "Ask me again, please. About going out tonight."

Brendan whispered. "I would be really like it if we went out tonight, Caden. What do you say?"

This was silly. He should have ditched the escort after the first strop at his apartment.

_Fuck it_.

There was no chance he would find a hook up who could beat the experience he had shared with the lad on Monday.

"Yeah. Ta." Caden gave him a smile. Finally. "Sorry for kicking off. I'm a tart with a heart."

Brendan took hold of his hips and pushed their bodies together. "You're no tart."

He placed a kiss on Caden's cheek then helped the escort out of his jumper and threw it to one side, displacing Caden's glasses so they sat wonkily on his nose. Maybe stripping the lad down was not the best way to prove the 'tart' point but Brendan couldn't help it.

"Or maybe we are both tarts." He whispered as he shrugged out of his own suit jacket and shirt.

He had an itch that needed scratching and Caden running his fingers over the hairs of his chest was feeding it. He took the lad's glasses off and kissed him, while crashing their bodies together. The passion they shared quickly built up.

His hands unbuttoned Caden's shirt coaxing it off him.

"Your meeting-" Caden whispered between kisses.

"-Is not for another hour." Brendan mumbled back before pushing him onto the bed so that he landed on his back. He unbuckled Caden's belt and pushed his trousers and pants off. The naked boy was already hard.

"I'm blind without my glasses." Caden gasped as Brendan took a firm hold of his cock. "I mean, not actually blind but it's all blurry. Oh my God!"

He moaned as Brendan gave him a hand job. Then he ran his fingers back over Caden's balls to tease the puckered entrance behind them.

There was no time for foreplay. This was going to be quick.

Brendan stripped off, nearly tripping over his trousers in his haste while watching the escort bring his own legs up as he lay on the bed.

Caden licked a couple of his fingers and then run them over his hole while maintaining eye contact with Brendan. He pushed one in slowly and closed his eyes as he savoured the sensation; anticipating what was to come.

"Come on, Brendan."

Brendan was fisting his own erect cock while scanning the room for his bag. Where the fuck had he put his supplies?

He opened his travel bag. They weren't there.

"My trousers." Caden groaned impatiently.

Brendan grabbed the single condom and sachet of lube that were there. He put the sheath on, lubed it up and then said,

"On your hands and knees. Face away." He helped moved Caden into the position he wanted him in. He slapped the lad's butt soundly then ordered, "And keep your arse up."

{~}

Ste pushed his knees wide apart and arched his back before burying his face into the soft linen of the bed, burning up with equal portions of shame and need. Shame because he was brazenly displaying himself to a man that he had been in a huff with only moments ago and need because he couldn't seem to get enough of the Irishman.

He felt the warm trickle of lube on him and then Brendan's fingers smearing it evenly on him.

Doug's words of advice #3-

_'Keep a condom and sachet of lube in your pocket at all times. That way you will never be caught out if you get frisky. Plus the lube will be warmed up and ready for use. Aren't I clever?'_

Ste felt the thick cock in the cleft of his butt cheeks rocking against him.

He bit the bed sheet to stop screaming in frustration but couldn't help himself from begging quietly,

"Stick it in me."

Almost immediately he felt the head slowly push into him. He gasped as he was reminded of Brendan's girth.

"Like that?" Brendan growled.

"Yes." Ste dragged out.

He relaxed against the intrusion and pushed back slowly, eager to feel all of Brendan in him. When they were flush, he ground back against Brendan's pelvis. He couldn't see how this was ever going to get old.

It was divine.

It was beautiful and when Brendan started to move the world seemed to rock too.

Ste's body erupted into goose bumps. He took Brendan's slow deep plunges and rewarded the Irishman's moves with moans of pleasure. It wasn't just Brendan's dick that was making him go wild. There were his hands on his chest and nipples, his lips and tongue over his neck and shoulders. There was the way Brendan kissed him sloppily and languidly. There was how Brendan's bigger frame fit perfectly against Ste's. There was the slip and slide of his clean perspiration, his breath on Ste's neck and that aftershave that made Ste want to bury his nostrils into the older man's skin.

Brendan was taking it too easy on him so Ste decided to make his move; wide rotations of his hips that made his arse milk Brendan's cock.

The Irishman held his waist lightly at first so as not to limit Ste's movements but eventually he gripped Ste's hips firmly to prevent the lad from making him cum too soon.

Brendan forced out, "Stop."

Ste ignored him. It felt too good to stop. What was Brendan talking about?

Stop?

Not likely.

"Fuck, Caden."

Ste tugged at his own cock, feeling the tingle of an orgasm build up, deliciously welcome but still just out of reach.

"I'm going to come." Brendan whispered.

And he did. His hips jerked in short, sharp, hard thrusts into Ste. He wrapped his arms around the lad and rested his chest on his back. He kissed over his back and neck and traced one hand up over the taut skin of his belly and chest. A finger touched Ste's chin and turned his face to look at him.

They kissed while Brendan was still deep in him. Ste groaned when he thrust into him again. Brendan's hand replaced his own around his cock and started rubbing it. Fucking him and jerking him off.

He moaned and let go.

"You going to come for me?" Brendan breathed out slowly and sensually.

It was more than Ste's body could take. Sensory overload. It was like he came on demand; collapsing onto the bed in a quivering spent mess.

It wasn't long before Brendan scrambled off the bed to get on his feet. He tugged his condom off and wiped his brow.

Ste slowly flipped over to look at him and grinned lazily, "Wow."

Brendan pointed at him and breathlessly said, "You are going to be the death of me."

Ste laughed because he felt so boneless and relaxed and... right. He felt so damn good. He moved the fingers of one hand down to his perineum and felt the slipperiness of lube there and had to laugh. He was still feeling so on it. Ready for more. Horny as hell.

"Do you want me to come and shower with you?" He asked imagining soap bubbles, slippery skin, blowjobs and...

"I need to leave this hotel suite at some point." Brendan said pointedly.

"Pity."

Brendan shook his head. "This is what's going to happen. I'm having a shower. Then I'm getting dressed and leaving. And you are going to stay right there and not touch me until I am gone. Then when we see each other later..." He looked down at his dick. He was already sporting a semi or had it never fully gone down?

"Down boy." He told his dick.

Ste grinned at him so he smiled back.

"Then when we see each other later...?" Ste prompted saying Brendan's words back to him.

"You finish that sentence."

Ste lay back and stretched out unhurriedly.

"I'll be right here."

{~}

Ste was woken up by his phone buzzing indicating an incoming message. He was still naked and his first thought was to wonder when the Irishman left for his meeting since Ste had already fallen asleep by then. His phone buzzed again. He knew from the tone that it was his work line but he didn't know where it was. He jumped out of bed and fumbled through his things, blurred by his short-sight.

He eventually found his phone and squinted at the new message.

It was from Dan.

_Hi, Kitten. We were thinking about you and were wondering whether you had changed your mind about tonight. The offer is still on the table._

_£2200 and your present._

_Think about it._

Ste lay down on the bed and re-read the message. £2200 from two of his trusty _Dirty Dozen._ Ste was only billing Brendan £1000. Really the decision of what to do was a no brainer.

Ste looked at the time. It was 15.21. Brendan was going to be back in an hour and a half so he stood up and grabbed a bath towel.

{~}

Brendan's car screeched to a halt on the gravel just outside a large warehouse in the heart of the business district of Liverpool. Only one other car was parked in the lot. While Brendan did not recognise it, he knew that it had to be Walker's.

He alighted and took in his surroundings. The area looked more suited to high-visibility jackets and hard hats than tailor made suits. The warehouse was useless but the land it occupied as well as the gravelly area he was standing on amounted to a large chunk of land. The bonus was that it all overlooked the waterfront. It had potential.

He was fifteen minutes late so he briskly walked into the building and called out,

"Walker?"

The name echoed in the empty room.

"Walker?"

"I'm here."

Brendan turned to face his business associate.

Walker was a living breathing paradox; a man from the Midlands who had ironed out his original Brummie accent so that it was entirely replaced by estuary English. Earrings on the upper part of his ear lobes and a refusal to cut his hair gave him an untamed look. The fact that he refused to dress in the conventions of his business, favouring jeans and army jackets over sharp suits, also made him stand out.

Brendan chose to stand out in other ways.

Despite these differences between the men they had similarities. They were tall and lean, good-looking depending on who you asked, with low voices and an air of menace to those who didn't know them well. They both liked men; a fact that they didn't advertise but the word was out. It was no secret and it was something they had discovered in each other by chance years ago when they celebrated their first 'business' transaction by going out on the town only to end up in bed together.

On paper they should have been friends but in reality they didn't trust each other enough for that ever to happen.

"Nice place." Brendan said.

"Thought you might like it." Walker said as he closed the distance between them. "I saw it and thought of you." He said sweetly.

"How thoughtful of you." Brendan said. "Who does it belong to?"

"Some company that has gone to the ground."

"Did you have anything to do with that?"

"It hurts me, Brendan. How little you think of me."

"Did you?"

"No."

"Well then," Brendan made a sign of the cross. "May it rest in peace."

"Amen." Walker said.

"How much are they selling it for?"

"Don't know yet but I can find out."

"How much will you want in return?"

Walker smiled. "Negotiating already? That means you are really interested."

"I'm not saying no, let's put it that way."

"You tease." Walker walked up to him and said. "You know I have helped you make your millions."

"So you keep telling me."

Walker laughed. "Tell you what, why don't we meet up tonight, go out for a drink or two and talk business. You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours."

Brendan looked at his watch. He thought of Caden at that moment for some reason; slumbering on his hotel bed, hands tucked under his head, his round peachy butt the highlight of his nakedness. He had been softly snoring on his hotel bed when Brendan walked in to say bye.

There was a conflict in schedules. Brendan was going out with the lad tonight and that plan had come first, hadn't it? So it made sense to tell Walker,

"Can't tonight. Let's make it tomorrow. 10 am. I fancy brunch."

"Suit yourself." Walker dug his hands into his pockets and walked towards the entrance of the warehouse. "I am no property developer but I was thinking that this could make a lovely set of luxury apartments." He said over his shoulder.

"Leave the property developing to the experts, Walker, yeah?" Brendan said caustically.

"Fine." Walker stopped at the threshold of the door. He looked at his watch prompting Brendan to do the same.

15.25.

He turned to face Brendan, "Isn't it time you called me Simon? We've known each other since we were boys and we've fucked for fuck's sake. What more does a man need to do to get on first name terms?"

{~}

Since the meeting was over sooner than Brendan had anticipated he rang Caden's number to tell him that he was done and that he should get ready to get going.

The escort's phone number went to answer phone.

Brendan assumed that the lad was showering, so he drove back to the hotel and took the lift up to the top floor where his suite was situated.

He let himself in and walked to the escort's room.

Caden's possessions were gone. His bed was made and his key card was on it.

It was as if he had never been. What the hell? Where was he?

Brendan leaned close to the bedding and caught a hint of the lad's scent on the covers; proof that the Irishman hadn't imagined that the escort had been here; moaning under him and driving him crazy with need.

His teeth ground against each other in anger as he thought about how he had stupidly prioritised a hook up with a mood-variable escort over business negotiations with an established acquaintance. What had he been thinking?

That was it. He had to start thinking with his head instead of his dick where the escort was concerned. That had been the final straw. The lad was out. No more Caden.

His irritation grew as he walked into his own bedroom. He threw his briefcase onto his bed deciding on how he was going to call Walker and arrange to see him tonight.

It was while he was fishing his phone out that he heard a sound coming from his bathroom. He stood up and walked over to it opening the door slowly.

The citrusy smell of shower gel and the humidity of the air indicated that someone had been showering in there.

Caden was there. He was right in front of Brendan blinking furiously with one red eye, dressed and ready for the night ahead. Looking very desirable, Brendan thought.

"Oh hi!" The lad said in surprise. "You're back early."

"Yes." Brendan couldn't help but grin. The lad was here.

Caden showed him his index finger and the contact lens that hovered on its tip. "I couldn't find my glasses so I'm putting these in."

That explained the red eye. Caden quickly inserted the second contact and blinked to get it in place.

"Where are your things?" Brendan asked.

"Here." Caden pointed to Brendan's bedroom so the Irishman poked his head out of the bathroom and spotted the boy's bags that he had missed when he came in, on the floor.

"You've moved." He said.

"Yeah, I hope you don't mind."

"No. We can swap. They are pretty much identical."

"No." Caden stopped him with a firm grip on his wrist. "Why don't we just share this one?"

His intent and meaning were clear from the steadiness of his gaze, the dilating pupils, and the coyness. Brendan was beginning to realise this was signature Caden; shy yet naughty. Hadn't the lad said something to that effect on his webpage?

"You want us to share?" Brendan said. The question was more of a statement. He ran a thumb slowly over the escort's mouth.

What a talented mouth.

Caden darted a tongue out and bit his lower lip as he nodded slowly. "You should want to make the most out of me."

"Is that so?" Brendan leaned in for a kiss.

"Yeah. Get your money's worth."

He combed his fingers through Brendan's hair as their lips touched. This was by far the most gentle kiss they had shared so far. It had no urgency. It was about exploration and  
discovery.

Caden pulled away looking dazed. "You are a great kisser."

Brendan dove in for more but Caden stopped him.

"Wait." The escort whispered, "Um, you haven't seen my glasses, have you? Like after you took them off?"

_Seriously_?

Brendan firmly gripped the lad's butt cheeks, pillows of firmness with just the right amount of give, and pulled Caden to him to make him understand his state of arousal.

"I honestly couldn't give a flying fuck right now."


	6. Brendan

_**Okay, so y'all have realised that Brendan and Ste in 'Safe' are slightly different characters to the show's characters. I have softened Brendan's edges and sharpened Ste's brain (basically corrected bits that kinda/ sorta/ sometimes grate on me on the show). I hope you don't mind the artistic licence but then this is AU. Anything goes...**_

_**Hugs,**_

_**Chips**_

{~}

"I honestly couldn't give a flying fuck right now."

Brendan pushed their bodies together and Caden responded by stepping into him and going in for a kiss but Brendan teasingly pulled his head back, out of reach. So Caden tried again with a groan of frustration until Brendan relinquished. The escort dragged Brendan backwards out of the bathroom and into the bedroom; mouths crashing together in a passionate embrace.

_Jesus, _Brendan thought as the backs of his legs collided with the edge of his bed; their bed.

He felt the weightlessness of falling backwards and landed on his back. Caden fell on top of him and grinned as he straddled Brendan's hips and leaned over to rest against him. The young man whispered,

"So, you want to stay in or go out?"

His eager hands clutched at Brendan's clothes while he used his teeth to tug at the Irishman's earlobe then sucked it before kissing a path over his jaw line and neck.

_Was there really a time where I thought the kid was naive and didn't know what he was doing? _Brendan thought as his eyes closed_._ Caden was undeniably sexual and yet there was nothing jaded or vacuous about him. His actions were fresh, enthusiastic and sincere and what Brendan had seen of his personality was solid, determined yet playful.

No wonder Caden claimed 100% satisfaction amongst his clients. Excepting the escort's tantrum earlier, there was something about him that made Brendan want more. Caden was a master at what he did.

Brendan gripped his hips and pushed him off before standing up in one fluid move. Caden looked up at him in confusion as he lay on the bed.

"We didn't have lunch earlier." Brendan said, raising a meaningful eyebrow. He took off his tie and jacket garnering an anticipatory look and smile from the boy.

"Yeah. I mean, no. We didn't." Caden said.

Brendan grinned as he took his shirt, shoes and trousers off. "We were otherwise occupied."

"Yeah." Caden eyed Brendan up as the older man went to his travel bag. "We were busy."

"So now I'm hungry," Brendan said as he grabbed a smart T-shirt. "I've made us a reservation. We're going out."

{~}

Ste loved Liverpool. Its culture, art and history made it a happening place to be; not as vast as London but no less cool. That was only part of why Ste was fond of it. Growing up his mother and step-father would often send him up from Manchester, where they lived, to stay with his grandfather at weekends while they spent some 'much needed 'us' time together'.

He didn't mind. He loved the northern city and he loved his granddad even more. Especially since Grandpa Bobby was totally awesome; a working class man who frowned at his daughter's affected airs and graces since marrying Stuart Hay, an architect, when Ste was ten years old.

The Liverpool his granddad had showed him was very different to the middle class existence he had experienced since his mother's second marriage and polar opposite to the Liverpool he frequented now.

The Liverpool Brendan lived in.

The limousine he was in with the Irishman drew to a stop outside _Hotel Indigo_, a hotel that Ste had used once as a call out venue for one of his Liverpool based clients.

He ducked his head as he walked past the doorman with Brendan by his side. The shame and fear of being recognised, however unlikely, made him freeze to the spot.

"Coming?" Brendan asked him as they walked past reception.

"Yeah." He said. This is another reason why he hated doing what he did. The shame he felt was ridiculous. He could imagine what people might say or how he would be treated if they knew why he was with Brendan right now.

He composed himself "Uh. Why have we gone from one hotel to another?"

"_MPW Steakhouse_."

"Huh?" Ste said.

Brendan pointed to a sign above their heads.

"Oh." Ste said.

"Best steak in town."

"Good evening, Mr Brady." The maitre d' said when they walked through the restaurant's doors. "It is a pleasure to see you again. It has been quite a few months since your last visit."

_So that is his surname. Brendan Brady. Good to know after having sex twice already._ Ste thought.

The head waiter quickly gave Ste the once over as if assessing a bit of crap on the soul of one's shoe.

"That long?" Brendan said. The way he said it made Ste think that Brendan knew exactly how long it had been.

"We heard about what happened. I'm sorry." The maitre d' said sombrely.

Brendan face clouded over. "Yes. Well. Thank you."

He cleared his throat and seemed to look everywhere but at Ste and the maitre d'. Ste wondered what the waiter was referring to. Whatever it was had resulted in Brendan being decidedly on edge.

The awkward silence that ensued was eventually broken when the head waiter said,

"Your table is ready for you and your guest. Please, follow me."

As they were shown to their table Ste whispered,

"You okay?" Brendan looked at him as if for a moment he had forgotten he had company. His eyes looked lost. "Brendan?"

"Yeah." Brendan's voice was gruff and measured. "Yeah."

It was obvious that he wasn't alright but Ste was not surprised that Brendan didn't want to share his personal stuff. He was a stranger that Brendan was paying to have sex with; hardly someone to open up to.

As soon as their bums hit their seats they were introduced to their waiter for the evening.

Brendan ordered a glass of whiskey straight away, his knee jerking under the table.

Ste ordered a, "A coke please. Regular not diet with a slice of lime and no ice. Thanks."

The waiter jotted the specifics, gave them menus and walked away.

Brendan gave Ste a bemused look while the lad carefully placed a napkin on his lap.

"What?" Ste said.

"You teetotal?"

"No." Ste sat back in his chair. "It's just if I start drinking alcohol without eating something first I'll be all over the place and make a right show of myself."

"Right." Brendan grinned.

"Why is that funny?"

"I think I can picture it. You. Tipsy." Brendan said as he picked up his own napkin. "Cute."

"That's because you haven't seen me in action. Trying to sing. Having to carry me back to the hotel because I've gone legless."

"I would never carry you." Brendan said, straight faced. "Don't want to do my back in, do I?"

"Oi! I'm not heavy!" Ste said smiling when he saw the other man crack into a grin.

"I know." Brendan winked.

_Fuck. He can't look at me like that in public. It's indecent_.

Ste picked up his menu as distraction and buried his face in it, seeing but not assimilating what was written on it.

"That's the wine menu." Brendan said after a moment.

"Yeah. Right." Ste responded feeling flustered as he picked up the a la carte menu, opened it then closed it straight away. Who was he kidding? "Actually, I am not really a steak man so maybe you can pick one for me."

"What?"

"I like it but I don't love it."

"I can't believe I am hearing this."

"It's just I prefer fish." Ste crossed his hands across his lap. "When I was growing up my Granddad used to take me angling not far from here at _Calderstones_ _Park_ and I would help him prepare our catch of the day for supper."

"You fish?"

"Not anymore." Ste cleared his throat, realising that he was leaking personal details for no good reason whatsoever. "Anyway, like I said I like steak so I'll have the-" He looked briefly at the menu "-Ribeye, I guess. Medium-rare."

"I used to fish too."

"Oh." Ste wouldn't have taken the sharply dressed man opposite him as a recreational fisherman. Nice black blazer, white crisp t-shirt. Neat trousers. Smart casual. "Can't see it."

"Yep. Carp. Tench. Perch. Roach. Pike. Bream." Brendan said.

"Now you are just showing off." Ste smiled. "Natural or artificial bait?"

"The little boy in me loved natural."

"Those poor maggots. That's cruel!"

"You were eating your fish! We caught and released." Brendan laughed.

Ste leaned forward, forgetting table etiquette for a moment as his elbows hit the table and he rested his chin on his hands.

He knew that this was just a night out with his john and that this bit of chat was nothing more than a way to fill air. He knew that really in his heart but it still felt organic. He was interested and engaged so he asked,

"So who did you fish with?"

There was a moment's hesitation before Brendan's reply. "My uncle... amongst others."

"It's fun, isn't it?"

Brendan gave him a small smile. "Yes."

Their waiter came with their drinks and took their order.

Brendan said, "I'll have the T-bone with a béarnaise sauce. Tomato salad on the side and he'll have a surf and turf. Ribeye/king prawn. Both steaks medium-rare." He looked at Ste. "Any side? Sauce? Something stronger to drink?"

"Chips. Peppercorn." Ste grinned. "And a glass of Malbec."

"Chips. Peppercorn." Brendan repeated to the waiter. "And make the Malbec a bottle. Two glasses."

The minute they were alone Ste whispered, "This is going to sound really dumb but what's surf and turf?"

"A main course that combines meat and seafood. The king prawns are a nod to the seafood lover in you." He gave Ste a wink.

"Thanks but I'll be bursting at the seams if I eat all that." Ste gasped.

Brendan sat back and smiled. "I can think of a thing or two to help you work it off."

"Oh." Ste took a deep breath in and out. "Yeah."

"Fuck me! Are you blushing?"

"No!" Ste took a gulp of his coke. "Yes. Maybe. Let's move on."

Brendan laughed. "You want to talk more about fishing?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Shoot."

"I was going to say that nothing has made me feel as free since. Even when the weather was a bit shit, grandpa and me would head out, kitted out and the world was our oyster." He sighed. "Anything was possible. Even a weedy little schoolboy like me making a big catch."

"When was the last time you went?"

Ste crinkled his nose as he thought about it. "Um, six years ago."

"Why did you stop?"

"Grandpa died." It was out before he could stop himself and strangely he didn't feel bad about sharing that information. He shrugged in an effort to minimise the importance his grandfather's passing had had on him.

Some might say it marked the beginning of Ste's slippery slope.

Some might be right.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Ste said dismissively. He sighed. "I would love to pick it up again. Angling. Like if I had the time. Life gets in the way of things like that sometimes, doesn't it?"

{~}

Brendan was quickly reaching the conclusion that going out for a meal was a bad idea. Not because it was going badly but because it was all going well so far. He was feeling immeasurable guilt that he was living his life; moving on.

He had tried to make this as dispassionate as possible. He had paid a man to come out and eat with him, to sleep with him. He had shunned the 'boyfriend' experience. He had tried.

Despite that this felt like a first date and Brendan couldn't tell if the lad's appeal, charm, quirkiness and interest were genuine or just an act. If it was the latter then Caden was a bloody good actor.

Either way it was giving Brendan a headache. His aim when coming to Liverpool had been to get out of his apartment in Chester, talk business with Walker and distract himself from his thoughts by fucking the shit out of the escort.

Simple. Uncomplicated. In the future it would be better to keep their rendezvous strictly 'shag-and-go'.

When their food and wine arrived Brendan ordered another whiskey and poured Ste a glass of the red. They ate in silence for a few minutes as Brendan ruminated. Silver scraped on china and glasses tinkled.

He finally spoke without looking up from his plate,

"We should head back to the hotel after this."

"I thought... you don't want to go out?"

Caden sounded disappointed as he nearly finished off his first glass of wine.

"No."

"Okay." The escort picked up his skewer of huge king prawns. "You're the boss."

Brendan looked up.

"Whatever you want." Caden muttered as he studied his prawns.

Brendan watched as Caden removed one from the skewer then expertly peeled its shell, observed the pink soft flesh, dipped it into the accompanying garlic butter then put it into mouth with a look of ecstasy. He munched away while working on the next one.

And the next...

His lips curled upwards after a moment.

"You want one?" He asked.

"No." Brendan replied.

"You're staring at my prawns like you do."

_I was staring at you eating them. _

_Eejit._

"And get garlic breath like you have?"

"I'm not feeling bad. You ordered them for me." Caden smiled at him boldly.

"Go on then. Let's try one."

Brendan watched Caden go through his prawn preparation ritual. "Okay. You'll have to lean over or else the butter is going to go everywhere."

It was tempting. Garlicky buttery prawn served on a platter of Caden's fingers. With no company Brendan would be all over that like a rash, sucking and licking. But not now. Not in this restaurant. No. He couldn't.

"Well. Well. Well."

Brendan closed his eyes. He could recognise that smooth voice anywhere. He turned to its owner who was, as usual, dressed far too casually for the occasion.

"Walker." He said.

Simon wasn't alone. He had company. Male. Fit. Standard Walker fare.

Walker darted his eyes between Brendan and Caden who was still holding the prawn in his fingers.

He crossed his arms in front of him and said, "This looks cosy."

"What are you doing here?" Brendan asked feeling the hairs on his neck bristle at his business associate's presence.

"Last time I checked this was a restaurant. We've come for a bite to eat." Warren said. "This is Bill, by the way. A... friend of mine."

_Fuck buddy_, Brendan assumed.

"Bill, this is Brendan, one of my business partners. We go way back."

He directed his piercing blue eyes at Caden causing Brendan's hands to curl up into fists. He was familiar with Walker's predatory stare. The man was a shark in business and play. "I don't believe we have met yet. Simon Walker. And you are?"

His arm was extended waiting for a handshake.

Caden quickly dropped his prawn into his plate, dipped his fingers into the lemon scented water bowel to clean them, dried his hand and took Walker's hand.

The older man pumped it once firmly then held it for a beat longer than necessary before letting go.

"Caden." The escort said. "I'm a business associate of Brendan's."

It was a lie that had no legs. Not with how they had just been caught.

"Sure you are." Walker said disbelievingly as he eyed Caden up shamelessly. "You are the reason Brendan brushed me off earlier. Can't say I blame him."

Brendan cut into Walker's perving, "We were in the middle of our meal, Walker. So if you don't mind..."

He pointed to the door.

"So you work with Brendan, huh?" Walker asked, ignoring the Irishman. "What do you do for him, Caden?"

"Computer graphics mainly." Caden said without a beat.

Brendan's eyes widened in pleasant disbelief.

_A__ttaboy_.

"I design websites but I also create software packages."

Walker raised an eyebrow. "Pretty and smart. Don't know where you find them, Bren. These boys. Although this is a bit soon, isn't it? After your last one. There has got to be some etiquette about this sort of thing."

Brendan was struggling to keep his composure.

"Fine. We're off." Walker said, sensing Brendan's anger. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Caden. Take good care of my friend, will you."

"I will." Caden said sounding a little confused.

"I'll see you tomorrow at brunch, Romeo." Walker said as he audaciously slipped his hand into his date's back pocket and gave his butt a squeeze before guiding him to their table.

"He's something, isn't he?" Caden said.

"Yeah. Nice save, by the way, with the computer stuff."

"It wasn't a save exactly. I-, um, never mind." Caden poured himself another glass of wine and downed it. "It's not important."

{~}

Ste noticed that he was a little tipsy when he got into their limo heading back to the hotel because he said,

"I think I will always order surf and turf. It's amazing, Brendan! And do you know why it is called that? I have figured it out. Because the meat comes from the turf, right, and the fish comes from the surf, I mean sea. No wait. I don't get it. But I got it a minute ago."

He knew he was actually drunk when they tumbled into their suite and he kicked off his shoes, fell against Brendan, clutched his stomach and groaned,

"Why did you make me eat and drink so much?"

"I didn't." Brendan tugged him into their room. He was being really non-communicative; something that Ste suspected had something to do with what the maitre d' and Walker had said at the restaurant.

They collapsed onto the bed. Brendan quickly unzipped his trousers and took his cock out. When Ste tried to kiss him Brendan nudged his face away and pushed Ste's head down towards his groin.

"Just suck it."

Ste sobered up at the command as he was faced point blank with Brendan's flaccid cock.

That's it. That felt more like it. More like how he was normally treated by his clients, even the nice ones. Like something to push about and use.

Ste touched it; the organ that had given him pleasure that he had never experienced before. He watched it twitch so he palmed it after spitting into his hand; saw it get harder and thicker. He learnt his lesson from last time. He reached for his satchel and slipped a condom on Brendan's dick to blow him. If Brendan noticed a difference he didn't comment on it. Maybe it was because this time Ste was able to take more of Brendan into him; not all the way but close.

This felt like a one way street of pleasure.

This felt soulless.

This felt like work.

Brendan came and unloaded into his condom while Ste deep-throated him. His hand clutched the back of Ste's head as he grunted hoarsely. He eased off his pressure eventually and Ste pulled off him. He took the condom off Brendan and cleaned him up with some complimentary hotel tissues before resting his head on Brendan's hip.

"Sorry." Brendan whispered so softly that Ste almost didn't hear him. The Irishman wiped his brow.

_What are you sorry for?_ Ste wondered.

The older man pulled Ste up over his toneless, spent body until they shared a hungry kiss.

"I'm a little drunk." Brendan whispered inconsequentially. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I think I am too." Ste said feeling warm inside for some reason. "Actually I know I am. A bit. You don't need to apologise."

Brendan mumbled. "For the record, the combined flavours of condom, lube, garlic, prawns and steak do not go together."

"No."

They kissed some more until Ste relaxed into his arms, still fully clothed and still feeling bloated.

After a moment he had a thought.

"You wanna massage?" Ste looked at Brendan up close. "I mean just a regular one? You seem tense."

"I'm always tense."

"At the restaurant I got the impression you have had more reason to be tense recently-"

Brendan moved away from him to take off his t-shirt then lay on his front.

"I'd love a massage, Caden." He mumbled.

That was as good as being told to shut up and Ste listened. "Okay. One sec."

He jumped off the bed, got a bath towel from the bathroom and gave it to Brendan. The Irishman folded it out and settled over it while Ste took off his jumper then grabbed his iPod from his satchel, docked it and put some music on low volume. He got back onto the bed, dug into his satchel again and took out a vial of scented oil.

Brendan rested his hands under his face and closed his eyes as Ste placed his hands over Brendan's back, with a bit of pressure and whispered, "I have a feeling this will be hard for you but I want you to let go, okay?"

"No chance." Brendan murmured.

"Just try." Ste poured some oil into his own palm and warmed it by rubbing his hands together. "I'm really good at this."

"I don't doubt it."

He ran his hands over Brendan, from the small of his back to the nape of his neck spreading it evenly in symmetrical circles.

"Do you mind if I get on top of you?"

"Knock yourself out."

He straddled Brendan's legs and got to work.

At first his hands concentrated on Brendan's shoulders, "I may have to work on these knots for days."

Brendan grunted as Ste stroked lightly at first and then superficially kneaded the area before going for a deep tissue massage as he worked on the tension. He got a sigh of gratitude when he succeeded at ironing out the knots.

"You like that?"

Brendan nodded his head lazily. "What's that smell?"

"Sandalwood. It's good for nervous tension, anxiety, fatigue, exhaustion, insomnia, depression and guilt."

"Sounds like it gives you wings."

"I could have used lavender but I thought this was a manlier scent." He leaned over to Brendan's ear to whisper, "For a manly man."

Brendan grinned. "And what's the noise?"

"The noise is not noise. It's relaxing music. Now shush. Relax."

Ste shuffled off Brendan.

"Where are you going?"

"It's hard work massaging. I'm getting a sweat on." Ste stripped off down to his underwear. "Plus I'll get oil on my clothes."

Brendan craned round to see a flash of multicoloured snug boxer-briefs and tanned skin. "You don't need an excuse to get your kit off in front of me."

Ste tugged Brendan's trousers, socks and pants off.

"Is getting your client naked part of your standard massage?" Brendan asked teasingly.

Ste ignored the ribbing as he climbed back onto Brendan and poured some more oil into his hands. He then worked it all over Brendan's arms, pressing into his triceps and forearms then fingers, watching and feeling as the older man's tissues became warm and pliable under his touch. Then his back got the same attention.

All was quiet except for the quiet music, gentle breathing and the whisper of hands on skin.

"Fuck. You should open a massage parlour." Brendan said after a while.

"Excuse me?"

"I mean an actual massage parlour. Not some brothel."

"Ta. I guess." Ste said. _If only you knew what I can really do with my hands. Where my passion really lies._

"You're welcome." Brendan sighed. "Yeah. Do that bit again."

"You know what. You talk too much." Ste grinned.

He finished Brendan's back and then turned around over him so that he faced Brendan's feet.

Ste started on his toes and worked his way up each leg; up to the cleft that marks the end of the leg and the beginning of the buttock. He felt his thighs slide over Brendan's back as the oil glided between their bodies. He tried to ignore how good it felt.

He concentrated instead on his fingers and palms as they moved over lean muscles, devoid of an overlying layer of fat, the dark hair that covered Brendan's lower limbs and flattened with the liquid, the occasional spasm of tissue in reaction to his touch especially as he approached Brendan's groin. He karate-chopped up and down then gently pushed Brendan's knees apart when he knew that the Irishmen would offer little resistance.

Ste poured oil directly onto the man's globes eliciting a hiss.

"Fuck, that's cold." Brendan said.

"I know." He grinned. "It'll warm up."

He stroked up and down his buttocks pushing them together and pulling them apart; revealing then hiding the man's tight hairy hole. He ran his finger's close to it but got a,

"No chance, kiddo. Not my thing."

"You'd be surprised."

Brendan flipped over, dislodging Ste.

"See." Ste said, pointing at Brendan's erect dick.

"That's because you have been slipping and sliding over me practically naked for the better part of an hour."

Ste smiled. "So what did you think of the massage?"

Brendan shrugged, nonchalantly. "Yeah."

"That's it?" Ste could tell that Brendan was teasing him.

"Well you didn't take your pants off so." He shrugged again.

"That was my standard. I thought you wanted my standard." Ste knelt on the bed and folded his arms across his chest. "I gave you my standard. No extras."

"Take your pants off. I think I can see a semi."

"Are you serious?" Ste looked down at his pants. Yep. He was rocking a semi. "You want me to take them off?"

"Yes." Brendan grinned. "Jesus. Is it always going to be a surprise that nudity might be on the agenda?"

Ste slowly took his pants off, his body smeared with oil that had been intended for the Irishman.

"Ten out of ten that massage." Brendan said with a grin as he reached for the lad's hand. "But I think we can go for an eleven."

{~}

Brendan's mobile phone woke him up but it took a moment for him to orientate himself; the unfamiliar bed, the smell of sex, the man snoring softly by his side. Then gradually he remembered where he was and with whom.

When he looked at who was calling him, his heart sank. He knew the purpose of this call.

"Hey sis." He whispered as he looked through the curtains. Dawn.

"Heya love."

His younger sister, Cheryl, worked in Hollyoaks and lived in one of his apartments in the village free of charge.

He had taken advantage of her visiting family back in Ireland to stay in Hollyoaks and get away to get away from his apartment in Chester the Friday he called Caden for the first time.

He couldn't understand her fascination with that village. It struck Brendan as the kind of place where everyone lived in each other's pockets and where gossip became fact very quickly. It also had an obscenely high homicide rate that Brendan had used as a reason time and time again to persuade his sister to leave.

"I'm fine before you ask." He said.

Caden moved in his sleep then started snoring softly again so Brendan moved into the bathroom.

"Glad to hear it." She said. "But that is not totally why I am calling."

"No?"

"Did you hang out at the apartment in Hollyoaks when I was gone?"

"Yeah." For a second he panicked. He wasn't about to walk into an awkward conversation with his sister about his use of escorts, was he? He had used his own computer tablet to search online and not her laptop hadn't he?

He was sure he had.

"Thought so." She sighed. "You're still finding it difficult to live in that apartment in Chester, aren't you?"

"It's fine." He lied.

"Where are you now then?"

"At home."

"You're not answering your home phone."

"Fine. I'm in Liverpool." He said. "On business. Are you stalking me?"

"No. I just want to make sure you are alright. You know I am here if you need. You don't need to run away."

"I'm not."

"You haven't hit the bottle have you?"

"I'm not dad. I had a few drinks yesterday. I'm not getting shitfaced every night if that's what you mean."

"And you haven't been sleeping around."

"Fuck's sake, Chez!"

"Have you?"

"Course I haven't."

_I've just broken a sexual draught with a bang with a guy I paid, if you must know. Had to happen. _

_I am a bad person._

"No course you haven't, love. Sorry. It's just that they used to be your two go-to coping mechanisms." Cheryl said.

Brendan watched Caden stir in the bed and then stretch out from where he stood next to the bathroom door.

The escort suddenly sat up rod straight in confusion, his hair pointing in all directions. He looked at Brendan while rubbing his eyes and gave him a sleepy smile.

"Hey." He muttered.

Brendan raised a hand in greeting then closed the door, shutting himself in the bathroom and whispered into his phone,

"Look sis. I've got to go. Don't worry about me. I promise me that there is no sex, drugs or rock and roll involved. I'm coping just fine. Bye."

He put the phone down and walked back into the room to Caden.


	7. Stanley

**Thank you all for your comments and reviews. I really do appreciate and enjoy reading them and the insight you guys give into the story. In typical fashion my stories have highs and lows. I'll give you one guess which category this chapter falls into...**

**Chips**

**x**

**{~}**

Brendan put the phone down and walked back into the room to Caden.

He paused when he saw that the escort was asleep again; tucked under a crumpled tangle of white bed linen. Caden looked peaceful, dead to the world, flushed with sleep.

This was Brendan's opportunity to avoid awkwardness later. He picked up his briefcase, sat on the edge of the bed and spun the combination to open it. He looked over at the young man's sleeping form once more before taking out some money, counting it out and placing it into an envelope. It was for the time they had spent together; the kisses, smiles, blowjobs, frowns and tantrums, fucks, three of them in total, chat and cheeky looks, happy ending massage, meal out, hand job, pillow talk, shower.

Brendan had wanted distraction. He got it and some with Caden.

Eventually they had collapsed together after cumming, in the middle of the night, exhausted. The escort had been quick to pull himself away from Brendan and curl up on his side of the bed. Brendan had placed a hand on Caden's back and watched as it heaved until both their breaths returned to normal. He had considered pulling Caden back against him at that point but thought better of it.

Within seconds they had both fallen fast asleep.

Now, in the cold light of day, it was sobering to count out the cost of their interaction. He sealed the envelope and wrote,_ Thank you for the company, BB,_ before putting it on the night stand next to the escort.

Then he fell back onto the bed and shut his eyes.

{~}

By the time he woke up again bright rays of sun were shining through the curtains, promising Mediterranean temperatures. That wasn't the only change to Brendan's surroundings.

When he stretched out and turned his head Caden wasn't lying next to him. The escort's things and the envelope with money were gone. In its place was a note that said,

_Anytime,_

_Caden x_

The Irishman was a bit surprised. He had assumed that Caden was going to hitch a ride back to Chester with him. Perhaps he hadn't gone home. Maybe he had gone onto his next john. Another call out. It wasn't a particularly savoury thought; Caden, off to the next man. Off to the next job. It was probably due to his instinctive need for control. Brendan liked knowing that things were just his; possessing them. It was what made him good at what he did in life. A psychologist would probably have a field day exploring why that was.

Not that Brendan felt he owned the escort. That was ludicrous. Almost as ludicrous as the fact that it was already midmorning and he was only just getting up. He could not remember the last time he had a lie in. Normally his own body clock woke him up at five thirty am on the dot ready for the day ahead.

He forced himself to get up. He couldn't lie around. He had a brunch meeting with Walker to get to. First things first, he checked his things to make sure the lad hadn't nicked anything when he left his things unattended. Caden might be shy, cute, hot and fun but he was still a stranger. All his things were there. Nothing had been touched. Good. Caden didn't steal and he was great in bed.

Brendan's phone buzzed indicating a message.

_Morning, mate._

_Wakeup call. Don't forget we have a date... if you can bring yourself to leave that prime cut of human flesh you were with last night for one minute. _

_Cafe Rouge. Eleven. Don't be late._

_S_

Brendan headed for the bathroom.

{~}

Friday morning. A week ago this time, Ste hadn't known of Brendan's existence and now here he was sharing his bed having explored every inch of his body. Well nearly every inch.

'_No chance, kiddo. Not my thing.'_ That had been Brendan's response when Ste had used his hands to explore the possibility of swapping roles.

Experience had taught Ste that his clients liked their space when a call out was coming to an end. When he first started escorting he had failed to read the signs. It was only when money was flung his way or an excuse for sending him packing was made that he left. Now-a-days, he knew to make himself scarce as soon as possible. So even though he woke up to find Brendan asleep with a possessive arm flung over his chest, pinning him down, Ste shuffled out of the Irishman's hold.

He rubbed his sore, uncomfortable eyes which still had contacts in from the day before and spotted the envelope that he knew contained money on the bedside table.

Seeing it informed what he did next.

He quickly yet quietly got showered and dressed. Then he scribbled a quick note to Brendan, packed his belongings, paused for a second, rethinking whether to stay or go, before slipping out of the hotel suite.

His trip back to Chester was a less comfortable affair than his journey up to Liverpool.

For one thing the cramped coach with local radio playing over the speakers was no match for Brendan's luxury SUV with mellow background Motown tunes. Then there was the issue of his eyes which ached from using his contacts for so long. He had left the hotel suite so quickly that he had forgotten to look for his bloody glasses. Getting a new pair was an unnecessary expenditure that he just didn't need.

Ste consoled himself by counting the money Brendan had paid him. He cleared his throat as he looked around surreptitiously before peering into the envelope of money.

{~}

The minute he walked into his home he could hear Lucas bawling his eyes out. He dropped his bags and ran up to the room his three year old son shared with his older sister to find the toddler curled up in his mother's lap on his bed. Lucas was clutching at her desperately while his red flushed face burrowed into her chest.

Amy was soothingly whispering to him and dabbing his head with a wet flannel.

"Oh hiya. You're back." She looked up at Ste tiredly while rocking their son. "Weren't you wearing your glasses yesterday?"

"What's wrong with him?" Ste asked anxiously ignoring her question.

"Daddy!" Lucas whimpered with pleading, tearful, pitiful eyes which pierced spears of shame into Ste's heart. The toddler extended his pudgy arms out to him.

"I'm here, my little monster." Ste laid a hand on the boy as he sat down next to them. "He's burning up, Ames. Why didn't you call me?"

"I didn't want to bother you." She replied as she handed Lucas over to him, fatigue marking her every movement. She must have been up all night.

"You should have though." He cradled Lucas against him.

"I took him to the GP yesterday. It's an ear infection." She said. "He should start feeling better by tomorrow."

Ste felt like crap because he had left her to cope on her own even though Lucas had started to show signs of becoming unwell before Ste departed. He had wanted to cancel his call out but Amy had practically forced him out of the house insisting that their son would be okay. That was why despite being the one waiting for Brendan outside his apartment, Ste had actually been a few minutes late himself.

'_Sorry. I had, um, distractions at home so I didn't have time to wear my contacts. I'll put them in now if you want.'_

"Where's Leah?" He asked Amy.

"School. Doug dropped her off."

"Is he on antibiotics?" He asked as his son calmed down in his arms and started sucking his thumb while clutching his ear with his unoccupied hand.

She kissed the young boy's forehead. "No. Apparently usually it's a virus that causes it so the doctor said to keep him comfortable with Calpol and Brufen. I gave him some more about half an hour ago."

"Maybe we should take him to A and E."

"They'll laugh us out of there."

She was right of course. Lucas looked up at him and gave him a watery smile.

Ste smiled back as he felt a squeeze in his heart. "Alright, champ?"

The boy nodded.

"I think the meds are starting to work." Amy said.

"Yeah." Ste agreed.

"How was Liverpool with Brendan?" She asked.

Her tone was matter of fact as though she was asking him how his day at the office was.

"Um." Ste was careful about what to say. He felt immediately defensive as if Amy was going to catch onto some misguided notion that Ste might really fancy his client to the way Doug had.

He settled on, "Yeah. Okay. Fine."

"What's with the caginess? It's not like you to be shady." She looked at him oddly. "Spill."

"With this one here?" Ste indicated his son with his chin.

"A PG version."

"We got on and then we got it on." Ste summarised.

"So a keeper then." Amy said.

Ste thought she meant in a romantic sense and he felt his heart speed up.

"What? No!"

"Really?" She seemed disappointed. "He looked like he paid well."

Then he realised what she was referring to. "You mean as a _Dozener_? Yeah. I mean. Yeah. He would do. It's up to him now though, innit?"

"You feel safe with him?"

"Yes." He said immediately.

"How is he in bed then?" She raised a curious eyebrow.

"Ames!" Ste blushed as he looked down at his son who was intermittently closing his heavy lids as he fought a losing battle with sleep. "No. I'm not feeding your dirty mind!"

"Spoil sport."

"He's asleep." Ste whispered. He settled his son into his bed then Amy and he went down to the kitchen.

"Doug reckons you fancy him. Brendan."

He stuttered over filling the kettle with water. "Doug reckons a lot."

"Do you?"

He looked her square in the face. "Tea?"

"Yes please. So?"

"Not like that. I mean, yeah, he is hot but that's it." Ste cleared his throat. "And for your information it was the usual stuff. You know, what me and Brendan did. Nothing out of the ordinary."

_But it felt extraordinary. _

"We went for dinner yesterday. Nothing exciting. So."

"God. Is he one of those saddos that wants you to pretend you are his boyfriend? A bit like Noah."

"No he isn't and Noah is not sad." He said carefully. He added, "Brendan was really clear that he didn't want the whole boyfriend thing. He made a point of saying it."

"How much did he give you this time?"

He shrugged. "It's silly really."

"He underpaid you?" She asked incredulously.

"No." He felt himself go red.

He went to get his satchel and passed Amy the envelope.

" '_Thank you for the company_'?" She read and raised an eyebrow. Her jaw dropped as she counted the money out loud. When she was done she looked at him in disbelief.

"I think he has more money than sense." He said sheepishly.

"No way, Ste!"

"I know. I told you. Silly. At least we won't have any problems paying the bills this month."

"No." Amy squeaked. "Who is this guy?"

{~}

Brendan walked into work early on Monday after an unremarkable weekend. Even after all these years and with his position as the company's CEO; he was still one of the first people to get in. He knew that the key to the success of his business was that he led from the front. No detail was too small or insignificant when it came to his business.

He was a good boss when it came to leading and rewarding success. His staff respected him. They either wanted to be him or be with him or both. But he also knew that he had a reputation for being tough, stern and intimidating. He was distant with them. Impersonal. He didn't see the point in becoming best friends with them. They worked together. That was enough. Playing together seemed one step too far.

So when it came to his personal life all they knew was that he had a sister, since she popped into the office for time to time unannounced, and a mother and father since they occasionally called asking to speak with him. They assumed he was a bit of a loner which wasn't far from the truth. They guessed that he was gay due to hints dropped by Walker, his lack of romantic links to women over the years and because of Vincent.

They put two and two together...

Some of them had seen Vincent. Maybe sat in his car. Maybe waiting quietly in Brendan's office at the end of the day. Never introduced. Never formally mentioned or acknowledged by him.

Vincent.

Brendan tried to shake his head clear of those thoughts as he walked past his personal assistant's empty desk to get to his office.

He turned his mind to his two meetings with Walker in Liverpool. The man had presented him with a very attractive commercial real estate proposition with the property he had seen on the waterfront. It stood to add to his already enviable property portfolio.

Brendan got to work on how to acquire the land as soon as he sat down. He wasn't going to sit back and let Walker feel indispensible.

Some two hours later, at eight o'clock on the dot, his PA breezed into his office.

On first impressions, Paul looked more like a meathead than a secretary. Despite his relative inexperience Brendan had hired him five years ago after a run of hiring and firing a series of incompetent secretaries. Paul had proved to be a smart choice for several reasons. He had the gift of the gab, a cocky manner that Brendan liked and a way to make seemingly impossible things happen. Most importantly, he liked Brendan and Brendan tolerated him. '_The man that can_' Brendan called him.

Paul gave Brendan a smile and a mug of coffee while holding onto his trusty computer tablet.

"Morning, boss."

Brendan downed his drink without thanking him or looking up from his pile of papers.

"I need you to call Simon Walker and tell him that I want him to arrange a meeting between me and Ted Kilner of _Kilner Shipping_."

Paul replied with, "'Morning Paul. How are you?' I'm fine. Thanks for asking, boss." Brendan scowled at him so he continued with, "Isn't that the property you went to check out in Liverpool on Thursday?"

"Yes. Make sure the appointment is sometime this week."

Paul shorthanded Brendan's instructions onto his tablet.

"Yes. Sure. I'll try. You know Walker. Great at wheeling and dealing. Hard to pin down."

"Make it happen." Brendan said abruptly. "And there are some documents for typing on your desk. I have marked the urgent ones. When you are done I need you to call Cheryl. Tell her I'm back in town and that if she wants I'll fit myself with a GPS tracker for her benefit."

"Yep." Paul smiled as he scribbled away.

"One more thing. I need you to round up the heads of finance, creative and project management. Can I fit them in this afternoon?"

"It'll be tight but you have a window before your meeting with the wholesalers. How long will you need?"

"Hour. Tops."

"Done. What shall I tell them to prepare?"

"Nothing."

"Okay."

"Anything else?"

"No."

"I'll get started then." Paul made a move to leave, hesitated, and then looked back at Brendan. "Actually..."

Brendan glared at the young man. "What?"

Paul swallowed hard. "Just. Basically, um, it's my birthday this weekend and I have invited a few people from work. Saturday. I was thinking that maybe if you weren't busy, you know, and you aren't doing anything you could pop round."

Brendan looked at the lad.

"If you want." Paul added.

"No. Sorry. I'm busy." He lied. "How old are you again?"

"I'm going to be twenty-six." Paul smiled slightly. "I just thought since we have known each other for ages... you know. Anyway, forget it."

Something about Paul, something in the way he was standing or in his atypical shyness brought Caden to mind.

Brendan pictured the escort in the hotel bathroom in the suite. The lad had been already dressed for an evening out, leaning over the sink, face under the glare of the mirror's light, blinking in his contact lenses. He had turned to look at Brendan with those sexy eyes of his and smiled at him with his addictive lips.

"Actually, Paul. One more thing."

"Shoot."

Brendan delved into his suitcase, brought out Caden's pair of glasses and gave them to his secretary. He had found them wedged under the bed in the bedroom Caden had left in favour of sharing Brendan's.

Paul looked at them. "They're scratched."

"Nothing gets past you." Brendan drawled. _That's what happens when you whip glasses off an escort and chuck them across a room without a second thought when you are horny as hell_.

"I need you to get me another pair."

"Your vision is 20:20." Paul looked confused. "Plus I'm not judging, right, but I'm not sure you suit horn-rimmed-"

"They aren't for me and the design is fine." Brendan replied with annoyance. _They suit the boy perfectly._ "Just go top of the range."

"Got it. Anti-scratch, hydrophobic, anti-reflective coating. I'll throw in the lot. I think opticians can get his prescription from the lenses. His prescription, right? Or hers?"

Paul said the last part slowly, fishing for information out of curiosity.

Brendan simply replied. "They need to be ready by the end of the day."

"It's as good as done." Paul said disappointed at not getting an answer. "Whoever it is won't be disappointed. Just so you know you're looking at about £800-£1200, all in, if you want 'high-high' end."

Brendan waved his hand dismissively. "Fine."

"Who should I send them to?" Paul said without a pause.

"I'll take care of it. Just leave them on my desk." Brendan replied looking back at his work.

{~}

Ste was at the _Coffee Hut_ on the same Monday afternoon while Doug and Benji worked. At the moment, since there were no customers, work consisted of the three of them chilling at a table in the empty shop.

"Negative. Negative. Negative. Negative." Doug looked at Ste's blood and swab results while Ste and Benji sipped coffees. "Negative."

"They are all negative." Ste snatched the papers back and put them in his bag. "I told you already."

Benji snorted a laugh. "Like there was any doubt. Priests get more action than Ste!"

"Yeah but still." Doug mumbled.

"We're all clear. Yey." Benji smiled and stretched himself out languidly.

"By the way, how's Lucas?" Doug asked while lazily combing his hand through his boyfriend's hair.

"Yeah. Good. Getting better." Ste said. "I know it's stupid but you think the worst, you know. I kept panicking that the doctor was missed something. Lucas is such a soldier. He has discharge coming out of his ear now so at least the pain's better."

"Gross." Benji said.

"It's a good thing."

"You're such a dad." The student said.

Ste shrugged. When it came to his kids he didn't mind handling the four p's; poo, pee, pus and puke.

"Have you heard from any of the jobs you applied for?" Doug asked.

"No. Not yet. I'm not holding my breath."

"I think we should celebrate our results tonight." Benjamin said excitedly. "We should go to _Eclipse_. It's two for one shots tonight and Anna is at the door so we'll get in for free."

"I'm not going there on a student night, babes." Doug complained. "Let's go to _Oracle._"

"No. It's full of townies!"

"Ste what do you think?"

"Count me out. I have to meet a friend tonight." Ste said as he downed the rest of his coffee.

"What! I thought we were your only friends!" Benji wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.

"Shows how well you know me!" Ste joked but there was an edge of truth to his words.

Doug raised one of his expressive eyebrows as he took in Ste's satchel. "Who are you meeting up with then?"

"A friend."

"A friend beginning with N?"

_Noah_.

"No." Ste smiled.

"B?"

Ste's smile faltered. He hadn't heard from Brendan since Liverpool which was four days ago. Not that it was unusual for a client or that a long time had passed but still.

"No."

"Not a cute one then." Doug scrunched up his nose in distaste. "Then I'm not interested."

"Thought so." Ste smiled as he stood up.

"Wait." Doug gave him a piece of chewing gum. "Here."

He gave his friend a wink as Ste took it and put it into his pocket.

"Thanks."

{~}

Ste's _Dirty Dozen_ were loyal and dependable but hook ups with some of them felt more like work than others.

His next client was an example of pure labour.

Stanley Simpson was a barrister in his early-forties who Ste had been seeing for the last six months, His natural disposition was fretful and nervous like he was looking over his shoulder all the time. They met in a different hotel every time. There was little conversation, just wham bam thank you ma'am then bye bye until the next time. At least Stanley smelt nice, was polite and didn't make a fuss. Also, his sexual requests were predictable and repetitive which made it easy for Ste to satisfy his client's needs.

He got to the hotel room, knocked on the door twice and waited. He was chewing furiously at his gum.

Doug's words of advice #4-

'_Dude, always have chewing gum on you. Instant minty fresh breath.'_

_Fuck_, Ste thought, _I am not in the mood for this_. _Maybe I should just go._

His feet were itching to walk away. He wasn't in the right frame of mind but he had never turned away from a job. Never. So why now?

His work phone beeped just as he dithered with whether to stay or go. It was a message from Brendan. He stilled, surprised at getting a communication from the Irishman. Yeah, surprise. That was why he was feeling a weird sensation in the pit of his stomach.

_Kept getting visions of you blindly bumping into things. Check your PO Box tomorrow afternoon for my peace of mind, _

_BB_

Ste smiled.

Just as he was about to text back, the door in front of him opened, reminding him where is was and why.

Stanley's tall lanky frame was wrapped in a bathrobe. He looked at Ste in anticipation, receding hairline and all.

_Shit. Too late to escape._

Ste pocketed his phone, straightened his back and said, "Stanley Simpson?"

"Yes." The man said. "Is there a problem?"

Ste looked behind his client as if assessing the room and then stared at Stan sternly. "I am sorry to disturb you, sir, but we have had complaints from the room next door."

"What kind of complaints?"

"Noise. Loud noise. Music." Ste said seriously. "People are trying to sleep Mr Simpson. It's bedtime."

"I wasn't playing my music loudly and it's only seven."

Ste could have almost yawned. It was always a variation on this theme. Ste would knock on the hotel door and impersonate someone. Stan would be Stan. Ste would make some excuse to get into the room and it would always end with him fucking Stan to indulge his client's 'anonymous sex' fantasy. Afterwards, Ste would leave quickly after pocketing the money that Stan had previously left on the floor near the door on the way out.

He shoved his way past the taller man to get into the room. "I'm afraid this won't do. This hotel has a reputation to uphold."

"Yes. Of course."

Ste turned around to face the older man. "What I am saying is that we have zero tolerance on this kind of thing. You will need to vacate your room immediately."

"No!" Stan said.

Ste grinned seductively at him and pushed one collar of the robe off him, exposing a shoulder. "Unless..."

Stan's voice hitched. "Unless what?"

_You know what, you twat! It's the same fucking thing every time._

"Unless we reach an understanding... if you know what I mean."

He undid the robe's belt and gently coaxed it off Stan's frame exposing his lanky naked body.

"I want you to get on that bed." Ste whispered.

"I don't think so."

Ste forcefully pushed him onto the bed.

"No." Stanley said with all the acting talent of a piece of wood as he eagerly lay down. The man was trying to hide a smile of delight.

"You think this is funny, Mr Simpson?"

"No."

Ste put his satchel down and took his clothes off quickly. "You won't be laughing in a second."

"What are you going to do to me?" Stan asked. Ste simultaneously mimed the words in his head.

Same shit, different day.

"I'm going to fuck you." He sneered. "Then I might let you stay the night."

The man looked up at him and continued his rotten tomato worthy performance. "Will it hurt?"

_Fuck's sake_, Ste thought. He looked down at his own dick.

Nothing. Not a flicker. This never happened. This ... flaccidity. Normally he could get himself going by just channelling his thoughts but not today.

He had to be fully operational to get the job done. He exclusively topped with Stanley.

"Not if you do what I say." He said as he tried to relax and get himself into the mood. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'll take it slow."

'_I've been told it feels really good. If you take it slow at first...'_

Why the fuck had Brendan's words come to mind like that? Out of nowhere.

Where had that come from?

Ste remembered how he had practically begged for Brendan to fuck him in the end, after his initial fear and hesitation.

It had felt incredible. All of it. He had felt so full, complete, tingling from head to toe, hypersensitive as his body gyrated over Brendan's then beneath it as he was pummelled nice and slow. Then at the hotel a few days later things had been frantic and animalistic. Nails, teeth, harsh breaths and iron grips replaced feather light touch, deep kisses and slow exploration. It had been so damn good. Brendan had known how to hit the right spot time and again and Ste never felt out of his depth or used or abused.

What they had shared had been symbiotic; equal amounts of give and take.

"I'm not sure." Stanley was looking at his groin. "It sounds painful."

Ste looked down. He was rock hard.

Rather than being relieved he was angry at himself. It had taken another client, an Irishman that he barely knew, to make him get it up.

He automatically fetched a condom and some lube out of his satchel and got onto the bed.

As he snapped open the lube bottle he buried thoughts of Brendan.

"Shut up. You are going to take it and you're going to love it."

{~}

When he got home he was exhausted.

He trudged up the stairs and checked in on the children who were fast asleep in their respective beds. He could just about make out their forms in the dim light of their room. A white wick poked out of Lucas's ear while Leah slept like her father, occupying every bit of bed space available.

He didn't go into Amy's room. He knew that Lee was over since he clocked the man's shoes at the bottom of the stairs.

So he went to his own bedroom. He got changed into an old t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms, took his contacts out, turned the main lights off and the bedside lamp on and slipped into the cool sheets of his king-sized bed.

He remembered Brendan's message then so he re-read it bringing the phone close to his eyes.

_Kept getting visions of you blindly bumping into things. Check your P.O. Box tomorrow afternoon for my peace of mind, _

_BB_

That same weird feeling occurred in his stomach.

Ste figured that Brendan must have taken his mailing address from his webpage. He used the slot at the post office under his pseudonym for 'work' purposes so that some over keen client couldn't track down his true identity and where he lived.

He had a think then he typed,

_You were thinking about me? I was thinking about you too..._

_C_

The statement seemed so exposing when he thought about sending it to Brendan and yet he would have thought nothing of sending something similar to most of the _Dozeners_.

He deleted it and texted,

_I will. Glad you found my glasses. My shins will appreciate it!_

_C x_

He sent it and looked around his room. It was eerily quiet. Empty, really. He didn't have the energy to pick of his laptop and have a play which was odd for him.

He pulled the bed covers right up over himself like he used to when he was a kid and he used to create a make shift tipi out of the bed sheet. Like his childhood he had people around him who he knew loved him (Amy, Doug, his children) and yet he felt so impossibly alone.

Because Amy had Lee and Doug had Benji.

Who did he have?

{~}

Brendan was having trouble sleeping which was a recent problem over the last few months. He was sitting in the living room in darkness save for the moon light that crept through the curtains. He was onto his fifth glass of whiskey. It was doing a good job of winding him down physically but mentally his brain was still going a mile a minute.

He could hear his sister's admonishing voice in his head as he took a sip of the amber liquid while staring at a brand new eyeglass case on the coffee table in front of him. The pair of glasses inside was a perfect fit for Caden's damaged ones but of far superior quality.

He took another sip of his drink then rubbed his eyes tiredly.

His phone beeped.

_I will. Glad you found my glasses. My shins will appreciate it!_

_C x_

He looked at Caden's message for a while then downed his drink.

The lad was a fucking escort. He had to remember that. Everything he did was an act, right? A part of the show, entertainment and service.

Slowly he got onto his slightly unsteady feet, put his glass down and picked up the eyeglass case. Then he walked to his bedroom through the vast apartment that he called home, hearing the echo of each foot step.

After a second's hesitation he threw the case into the bin in his room then deleted Caden's message and details from his contact list.

Then he got ready for bed.


	8. Douglas

**Hi Folks,**

**Kind of struggled to write this chapter (won't lie)... It's a game changer chapter so basically s**t goes down that changes some other s**t, if you know what I mean. **

**Thank you for the reviews. Sorry for the typos in advance but I won't have a chance to properly edit it for another week so I thought y'all would rather have it out now.**

**Chips x**

**{~}**

After a second's hesitation Brendan threw the case into the bin in his room then deleted Caden's message and details from his contact list.

Then he got ready for bed.

{~}

Tuesday morning brought with it a heavy head that wasn't helped by the sound of a vacuum cleaner coming from somewhere in the apartment.

Brendan got out of bed and walked downstairs.

"Morning, Mary." He mumbled while rubbing his eyes. He went to the fridge.

"Morning, honey." His housekeeper's Liverpudlian accent rose over the hum of the Dyson as she ran it over a black shag pile rug. "You want me to make you some breakfast?"

He shook his head as he leaned on the open door of the fridge and looked inside. "No."

"You could put some clothes on."

He turned to look at her with a cheeky grin. "Too much man for you?"

"I'm a married woman. I'm not looking." She said with a smile as she continued to pass the vacuum cleaner over the vast floor. "And I'm old enough to be your mother."

He drank water straight out of a large bottle then replaced it in the fridge.

"Heavy one last night? You look tired."

"Had a hard time sleeping." He confessed.

"Still?" She frowned. "You're going to burn out if you're not careful. Go take a shower, love. I'll put the kettle on and tidy up your room."

"Yes, mum." He teased then run upstairs.

By the time he was done in the bathroom and walked back into his room, it was spotless; bed made, surfaces dusted, room air freshened. His clothes for the day were laid out on his bed and his coffee was on a night stand.

Mary walked in while he got changed. "What time are you going to work?"

"Soon."

She headed for his bin to clear it up.

"You've got a pair of brand new glasses in here." She commented as she picked up the case and opened it.

"They were in the bin for a reason."

"What a waste of money." She said. "They are perfectly fine."

There were times when Brendan wondered why he employed Mary ten years ago. She wasn't shy to voice her opinion whether he wanted it or not.

"I don't need them."

"I know you don't. Who were they for?"

"Someone I met." Brendan did his tie up and adjusted his cuff links. He made a point of not looking at her. She had the freaky knack of being able to read his mind.

Mary gave the glasses to him. "A friend?"

"Not exactly."

"Is he someone I'll get to meet?" She studied him closely.

"Unlikely."

"So why have you bought him glasses?"

"I ruined his."

She smiled. "Well then you owe him."

{~}

"Can you believe it?" Doug said excitedly as he and Ste made their way to the post office at lunchtime. "I only got confirmation of it this morning."

"That's incredible." Ste said as he squeezed his friend's shoulder. "I'm happy for you, mate."

"Put the date in your diary. The exhibition opens Thursday after next. Four artists will display in total. My stuff is going to be on for the first two weeks but the whole thing is running for a month."

"Why didn't you tell me that you had entered the competition?"

"I didn't want to jinx it. My chances were like practically nil. I mean any artist in the UK could enter."

"Honestly, this is amazing. You totally deserve it." Ste stopped to give his friend a hug.

Doug had the decency to look modest. "Thanks."

They walked into the post office and joined the short queue at the back. "You normally pick your mail on a Friday. What gives?"

"Had some spare time." Ste said then, "And Brendan texted me yesterday. He found my glasses and he's sent them back to me."

Doug raised an eyebrow and teased. "Brendan texted, did he?"

"All my clients text me." Ste said before walking up to the next available counter. He spoke through the glass pane at the clerk. "Hiya. I'm here to collect for PO box 731."

After a few moments she returned with a parcel and a letter. Ste recognised the confident flowing cursive handwriting in fountain pen on the parcel as Brendan's. It had _Caden_ written at the top and then the post office's address.

The address on the letter was in print.

The clerk looked at him suspiciously. "Your name please?"

"Stephen Hay."

"The parcel is a special delivery. I'll need to see some ID."

Ste plastered his driving license against the glass.

"There you go." She passed the items through to him under the glass pane.

"Thanks."

Doug peered curiously at the letter. "Who's that from?"

Ste shrugged. He had no clue.

They crossed the road, entered a pub, ordered pints of lager and settled on the stools at the bar.

Ste couldn't wait. While Doug picked up the bill he tore into the parcel. He picked up the muslin drawstring bag inside and opened it. His glasses were there; so badly scratched at the centre of the lenses that they were useless.

There was a note with them.

_I took the liberty of getting you a replacement. They are scratch-, water- and glare-proof in case someone else tries to wreck them in the future._

_BB_

Ste looked under more muslin to reveal an eyeglass case.

_What does he mean 'someone else'? Is he referring to my other johns? Is he implying that I behave in the same way with them as I do with him?_

_I don't._

"Alexander McQueen?" Doug read. "Nice."

"Yeah." Ste confirmed as he opened the case and took out the glasses.

"Try them on." Doug said with a smile before taking a sip of his drink.

Ste took out his daily disposable contact lenses, pocketed them and put the glasses on. He looked at his reflection in the mirror behind the bar. They were really nice and the prescription was spot on and yet he felt uneasy.

Doug whistled. "Damn you look sexy in them, buddy."

"Yeah?" Ste adjusted them on his nose.

They looked polished and luxurious but he could not shake his ambivalence. The Irishman kept remunerating him beyond what could be considered normal and acceptable.

In a warped way, when Brendan overpaid him the first time it was flattering. The second time it was appreciated as it alleviated the pressure off his and Amy's money problems. Now, however, it seemed that Brendan felt compelled to throw money at him implying that everything Ste did with him, the extra, was for reward alone.

"They must have cost at least £500." "What do you think he wants?"

"What do you mean?"

"No such thing as a free lunch."

"Maybe I gave him a good time." Ste ventured.

"You give them all a good time. This is something else. And the glasses? That's pretty personal."

"Yeah. I guess."

_But he hasn't even asked about meeting up again._

"Maybe he is working up to asking you to do some seriously freaky shit." Doug said, his eyes widening at the prospect. "Like I'm talking some crazy ass shit. You want me to explain?"

"No. I don't think so." Ste said quickly before taking a sip out of his drink. He had a good idea of what his friend was suggesting. Doug did not mean freaky in a good way. "I don't think he is the type."

"You mean from the two times you have met him in person? Ste, no one pays what he has been paying you without expecting something in return."

That made sense. Maybe that is why he felt weird.

"Open the letter." Doug coaxed.

"Oh yeah." Ste looked at it. "It's probably Dan and Dave trying to persuade me to meet up again. They have been sending me all sorts of messages."

He read quickly and silently. His smile dropped from his face. His mouth went dry. He dropped the letter onto the bar counter as he felt a hot tear track down his cheek.

"What is it?" Doug said worriedly. He picked up the letter.

_Caden,_

_You are nothing but rot. A filthy whore. Poison. Spreading your legs for cash. People like you are a malignant presence in society, destroying it until it is too late. You hurt families. You spread disease. _

_You are vermin. _

_I am writing to tell you that while everyone else might turn a blind eye, I see you for what you are. _

_I am a soldier and I've got my eye on you. You had better watch your back because one day, when you least expect it, I'll be there and you will breathe your last breath and the world will be better for it. _

_Know that this is the truth._

"Fucking. Hell." Doug said slowly. His hands were shaking. "We need to take this to the police."

"It's a sick joke." Ste said hopefully, feeling numb.

"No it's not. This is serious, Ste. Let the cops handle it. They'll probably test the paper for fingerprints and stuff. They can look at the ink and see where it originated from. Let them decide if this is a harmless prank or not." He studied Ste's upset face. "Who do you think it's from?"

Instinctively they both looked around them. The patrons of the pub were a mix of office workers on their lunch break, students and layabouts.

"Don't know."

"Kevin." Doug said quickly. "It's got to be. He called you and threatened you. Remember?"

Suddenly, Ste wanted to get out of there and back to the safety of his home. Or was it safe? What if the psycho knew who he really was and got to his kids, Amy or Doug.

He felt another tear fall.

"Hey, buddy." Doug said kindly as he pulled Ste into a comforting hug. "This dude's sick and what he's written is a load of bullshit."

The printed words of wrath hit home. _Whore. __Rot. __Poison. __Malignant. __Disease. __Vermin_.

_I've got my eye on you._

There was someone out there that saw him as the lowest of the low and was out to get him.

"Oh my God, Doug." Ste whispered fearfully into his friend's neck squeezing him tight. "I'm so scared."

"It will be okay." Doug said reassuringly. He rubbed Ste's back soothingly and only parted when he heard someone cough out a,

"Gay."

"I've got to tell Ames." Ste said.

Doug nodded. "Yeah."

{~}

"What did the police say?" Amy asked that evening as she, Ste and Doug sat together in the living room after the kids had been put to sleep.

"They'll get forensics to look at the letter. They'll look out to see if any other guys like Ste come forward saying that they have been getting malicious communications. They asked who Ste thought it might be from."

"What did you say?"

Ste said, "Nothing. No one."

"Ste!" Amy admonished. "You should have given them all the clients' names."

"That's what I said." Doug added.

"No. I promised them all that I would be discreet. I am not giving their names away."

"You aren't their priest or doctor. You aren't bound by confidentiality." Amy said. "Your life is at stake here."

"But I don't think it's any of them." Ste said defiantly. His clients were a lot of things but he was sure that none of them would ever want to hurt him.

"Well I think Doug is right. You're better off not working for the time being. Whoever it is got your contact details from the website and they have an issue with what you do. Don't fuel the fire."

"What are we going to do for money in the meantime?" Ste asked.

"We are fine this month thanks to Brendan." Amy said. "We'll think of something after that."

"We have _kids_, Ames. We can't just wing it!"

"Maybe you'll get a job. Like a proper one." Doug said.

Ste stared at him. "Yeah because I have had loads of luck with that so far."

{~}

That evening he reluctantly left a message at the top of his escort webpage that said,

_Escort currently unavailable_

As much as he didn't think his clients were at fault with the letter, Ste had to concede that the perpetrator could only have gotten his details from his site. Then he sent a text to each of his regular clients, his _Dirty_ _Dozen minus Kevin_, using his work phone. He should have called but he couldn't bear the thought of speaking to them and having to explain himself.

_Dear _,_

_I would like to personally tell you that I am taking a break from escorting. I am sorry for the short notice but hope that you can understand my need to move on at this moment in my life to explore different avenues._

_I wish you all the best,_

_Caden x_

Before he could get any replies he turned his 'work' phone off and put it at the bottom of his underwear drawer. It was looking like his year long career as an escort was coming to an abrupt and unexpected end. No more Noah, Dan, Dave, Kevin, Stanley, Mohammed, James, Trevor, Charles, Tom, Chris or Franco.

No more Brendan.

Amy and Doug were understandably relieved but Ste's feelings were less defined. He couldn't reconcile why he was finding the prospect of no longer escorting bittersweet. Stopping is what he had wanted to do for some time now. Until now he had struggled to find a reason to because it paid well, it sustained their lives and there was no feasible alternative.

But now he had a valid motive; his safety and that of his loved ones.

The next day he got a part-time job bartending at a wine bar on the same street as the art gallery, the coffee shop and Brendan's apartment.

It was a token job. Something rather than nothing. The manager could only offer him ad hoc shifts to cover for sickness and last minute need for staff. Ste suspected he was given the job out of pity since his name was put forward by one of Benji's university mates who worked there.

The amount of money he made was insignificant when compared to what he previously took home. So when he wasn't working, which was much of the time, he was tuning up his CV and applying for more jobs.

None were forthcoming.

{~}

Brendan was in his office trying to catch up with internal business that had flooded his desk.

"Did he like the glasses?"

Brendan looked up to see Paul standing to attention on the other side of his desk. His secretary had a tendency for sneaking in unannounced and surprising Brendan with his presence. It was disconcerting but it was also probably what made him so good at what he did.

Paul was omnipresent.

"Yes." Brendan said but the truth was he hadn't heard from Caden since the night before the glasses reached him.

"I should hope so." Paul said with a grin. "It was the Rolls Royce of glasses. He must be a really good mate, boss."

Brendan sat back in his chair and brought his hands together. "Was there a point to you coming in or were you just planning to piss me off, Paulie?"

"Phil Campbell wanted to have a word if you had a moment."

Brendan glanced at his watch. "Fine."

"He's just outside. I'll let him in. Do you want me to minute the meeting?"

"No."

"No problem." He stepped out as Brendan's head of finance walked in.

"Morning, Brendan."

"Sit down, Phil." Brendan said. "I hope you've got good news for me."

"Yes and no."

"Explain."

"Business is booming even in this shit economy. That's the good news."

"And the bad?"

"We've had a breakdown in negotiations with _Kilner Shipping_. They seem to have forgotten that their company has gone to the dogs. They still think they can demand a sale price that reflects their glory days."

"They're delusional."

"Exactly."

"So what are you doing about it?"

"Waiting. Simon is going to send a mole into the firm. Someone to give us insight into what makes Ted Kilner tick."

"I don't want Walker doing anything iffy."

"I think he is being above board. This is a formality, Brendan. You will get that property. I just wish I could tell you when. Until then I wanted to discuss the next phase. Do you have any thoughts on what you want to do with the space?"

"I have ideas."

"Care to share? Just so I can start thinking about how many more gray hairs and sleepless nights I can look forward to when it comes to budgeting."

Brendan smiled. "Block of flats? Hotel? Supermarket? Small shopping mall? Gym?"

"Thanks for narrowing the options down." Phil grinned wryly.

"I'll get a research team to look into figuring out what Liverpool needs more of or that it doesn't already have."

"What research team?"

Brendan's grin got even broader. "The one that you are going to form and head up."

Phil's shoulder's dropped. He already had so much on his plate. This was a project he did not have time for. "Can I say no?"

Brendan smiled. "Make sure to get a good team together."

{~}

Brendan suffered a moment's weakness.

On a typical solitary work night at home, with Motown tunes playing on repeat and a bottle of whiskey as his companion, he found himself navigating through the internet on his computer tablet until he got to Caden's webpage.

He was taken aback by the succinct message that said that the escort was unavailable. His contact details were no longer on the page either. His website was inactive.

Brendan's heart twisted in concern.

_Has something happened to the lad? __No. __No. Fucking __stop with the emotion. He is probably on holiday or something._

Why the hell was he looking at the wedsite anyway? He had made a stance. Caden had meant to be a clean solution to a natural human urge for Brendan but things between them had quickly felt anything but. It was too complicated. Too fraught with layer upon layer of emotion.

Too much to handle.

So he threw his tablet to one side, got changed quickly into a long-sleeved T-shirt, jeans and loafers and headed for a gay bar that he used to frequent in the centre of town.

Within minutes of arriving he spotted a likely hook up. Brendan was drawn to him instantly. Mid-twenties. Styled brown hair. Light blue eyes that stared back at him, unwavering. Slim build packed with latent energy.

Brendan approached him and whispered, "You want to come back to my place?"

The lad dipped his eyes shyly then nodded in a way that reminded Brendan of someone else. Someone he was trying not to think about because such thoughts were senseless.

"My name is-"

"Irrelevant." He whispered.

The man followed him out of the bar and to his car.

Brendan had almost hoped for rejection. This stranger was following him without thinking about the potential danger he was putting himself in or accepting and embracing the risk as a part of the thrill. Brendan wasn't sure which it was.

Either way he thought this stranger was stupid but the lad wasn't his battle.

They got into his apartment. Brendan made a point of blanking the permanently locked door on the ground floor as he led the way up to the first floor.

In the living room he told his hook up to,

"Take your clothes off. Slowly."

He poured himself some whiskey and drank it quickly while watching the show.

The man was confident. There was no hesitation or sense of self awareness as he looked right back at Brendan and slowly undressed. He approached the Irishman and tried to kiss him but Brendan pulled away and whispered,

"No. I just want to fuck."

The man was taken aback but only for a second.

This was something the lad had heard before.

"Fine." He whispered close to Brendan's lips. "Suits me."

He undid Brendan's belt before undoing the fly of his jeans. Then he pulled them down just enough to reach his cock.

The lad smiled. "What have we here?"

He pulled Brendan's dick out of his underwear and stroked it.

"You do this often?" Brendan asked.

"No. Sometimes." The man upped the pressure. "It's fun."

Brendan wouldn't have used that adjective to describe how he was feeling right now. This was a necessity; a human instinct that he needed to relieve before he exploded from an overload of testosterone.

"Where do you want me?"

Brendan looked at his clean, blemish free, white couch then around it. "On the floor."

The lad lay down on the plush black shag pile rug and started to jerk off while waiting for Brendan to join him.

Brendan dug into his jeans and brought out a condom and sachet of lube.

He got down on his knees and shuffled in to settle between the man's legs which automatically came up. He didn't take his own clothes off. He just needed warmth, tightness and responsiveness.

Just for a while. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Brendan pushed the man's legs up further so that his knees were up against his chest giving him a chance to inspect his hole. He was totally shaved; there wasn't a single hair on his body except his face and head.

Not like Caden.

Caden who had a scattering of scanty short brown hairs in key areas. Areas that made him all man. They added texture and sensation when Brendan licked, sucked, fingered and plunged. He especially liked the ones near Caden's groin because he could tug at them with his teeth only to get a hiss or groan in reaction. Or maybe he preferred the ones that surrounded the escort's arsehole more; the way they got wet with lube and caressed his cock as he plunged into his tight hole, clinging onto the sheath. Caden whimpered with need, came off the bed like a primed bow then settled back down when Brendan ran his fingers lightly over the hairs around his nipples or over his armpits. He would sigh then emit a filthy, breathy 'oh yeah' and pull Brendan to him to silently beg for a kiss.

And Brendan would. He kissed him with passion and heat; thirsty and hungry for more.

Brendan quickly tugged a condom onto his dick; his thoughts swirling around him. Then he lubed his fingers and run them over his hook up's hole and watched as it twitched in reaction.

"You are so hot. You know that?" The man whispered heatedly.

Brendan wanted to clamp a hand over his mouth. He didn't want to hear the guy. He didn't want to see him.

He just wanted to feel.

He moved in, feeling warm skin beneath him and stared at a piece of rug adjacent to the man's face.

Then he pushed in slowly.

{~}

A few days later, he was getting into his office when his mobile started to ring.

"You're up early." He said.

"Yeah. Good news. We are close to a deal with Kilner." Walker said breathlessly.

"Who are you running from?" Brendan drawled.

"Funny. No one. I'm on the treadmill at home. Working off the love handles, mate."

Walker didn't have love handles.

"Did one of those fellas you sleep with give you an image complex?"

Walker laughed. "No. They look at me with gratitude and awe and call me the best they have ever had!"

It was Brendan's turn to laugh. The man's ego had no boundaries. "You wish."

"Look. I've spoken to my mole. He has some info on Ted Kilner. Nothing exciting but it's useful. The old man is old school. He is a sentimental bastard. The shipping business was a family venture so he has an emotional attachment to it. Apparently he is only going to sell the land if he is satisfied that whoever he sells it to is an upstanding guy. He wants to get to know you better. Meet up with you."

"We had a meeting last week."

"I mean he wants to know the real you. Out of the office. I'm talking hanging out at his grandkid's christening. Family barbeque. You get the idea."

"Are you kidding?"

"I wish. He wants to make sure you aren't some dodgy fuck and I am not sure that having me as your middle man is helping your image." Walker was getting more out of puff as he continued to jog on the spot.

"Where does he want to meet?"

"His son organises some... annual... national event thing. This year it's in Chester. So he wants you to go along as a guest of the family. You basically need to smile and be nice. I know. It'll be a stretch for you."

"Where is it? When?"

"Soon. The opening is next week. I'll forward you the details."

"And give me some information about it. I don't want to go unprepared."

Walker laughed, then coughed, then wheezed then cursed. "Shit! I've got to stop smoking."

{~}

"Look at my handsome boys." Amy said gleefully as she stood between Ste and Benji, arm in arm with them.

All three had dressed up for the opening night of Doug's art exhibition.

"We scrub right up to pretty, don't we?" Benji said, striking a pose before they walked into the art gallery.

Amy quickly texted the Campbells to see how Leah and Lucas were getting on. The children liked the next door neighbours but Amy hated the fact that she had had to use that nosy woman and her husband. She would have to figure out a way to pay Mrs. Campbell back so that she didn't feel forever indebted to the middle-aged woman.

"Where is Doug?" She asked as they looked around the gallery's entrance hall. The place was teeming with people.

The hall they were in led to four white walled square rooms that flowed into each other in a clockwise direction.

Doug's art work was hanging in the first two of these rooms. Ste recognised almost all of the pieces as paintings that were normally strewn around the small overcrowded apartment Doug shared with Benji.

It felt great to see his friend's work displayed like this. All professional like. Recognition at last.

The three of them spotted Doug in the second room looking every inch the sophisticated artist as he spoke to a couple of viewers about one of his pieces. Benji bee-lined for his boyfriend immediately.

Ste and Amy decided not to disturb him yet and instead took the opportunity to look around, walking hand in hand as they observed his work.

"When was the last time we did this. A night out together?" Amy asked with a rueful smile. "Without the kids."

"Ages. God. I can't think." Ste said.

"Have you heard from the police by the way?" She crow barred in.

Ste groaned. "Amy, do we have to talk about this now? I thought we were here to have a good time."

"I'm just wondering."

"No I haven't."

"Good. Any more dodgy mail?"

"No."

"It's been just over two weeks. Maybe it was just a prank." She said.

"That's what I said."

"I suppose the good thing to come out of all this is that you aren't a, you know," She raised and lowered her brows, "Anymore."

"Yes. And you aren't my pimp!" She whispered into her ear.

"Ste!" She gasped and shoved him.

"Wow, Ames, look how much this one's going for." He said in shock.

"£2500?" She exclaimed under her breath and pointed at a tag just under the painting in question. "Seriously?"

Ste smiled. "I mean, I know some get more but Doug's still an unknown, in'he?"

"Yeah."

"Good on him. We won't be able to call him a starving artist anymore."

"That depends on whether any of them sell." Doug said catching the end of their conversation as he approached with Benji. "So what do you think guys? Pretty snazzy, huh?"

He looked so happy that Ste was swept up in his excitement.

"Great!" He said. "The turnout is amazing."

"I know." Doug said with a grin. "Some of the people here have really deep pockets so fingers crossed. Twenty percent of the money from each painting goes into the family's trust fund. Then it gets distributed to various charities."

"What family?" Amy asked.

There was a commotion in the far corner of the room; where Ste had entered with Amy and Benji not long ago. The group of friends turned to see what all the fuss was about.

"As if on cue." Doug whispered to them. "There they are." He subtly pointed with one hand. "The people who have just walked in. That's them. The Kilner family. They used to own a big shipping business in Liverpool or something. The son is the patron of the family trust. His name is Fredrick I think. This exhibition is one of their annual fundraising projects. The old guy is Edward Kilner and that's his wife."

"Fuck." Ste said quietly. He took a step back almost hiding himself behind his friends. He suddenly looked like he had seen a ghost.

Doug followed his eye line. Ste was staring someone walking right next to Ted Kilner.

"Shit." The American muttered as he clocked who it was.

He recognised Brendan's lean physique, confident air and moustache straight away. He had spotted the Irishman from the coffee shop's window the day Brendan picked Ste up from the front steps of his home when they went to Liverpool.

"Who is the guy with them?" Benji asked. "One word. Hot."

"Don't know." Ste said quickly.

The student laughed. "Yeah. Course you don't, Ste. I was asking Doug."

Doug looked at Ste. "Dunno."

Ste felt like he was going to be sick. He had to get out of there.

What was Brendan doing here anyway? What was he doing with the Kilners? Was he going to find out who Ste really was tonight? Had he thought of Ste at all since they last communicated? Did he think Ste was an ungrateful twat for not thanking him for the glasses? Should he take Brendan to one side and explain why he had cut off all ties with him? Did he owe the man that much?

He heard Ted Kilner introducing Brendan to someone.

"I'm not sure whether you have met Brendan Brady."

There was a laugh. "Mr Brady doesn't need introductions. It is a pleasure to finally meet you. I feel honoured. I have heard that you aren't one for frivolity and nights out if you can help it."

Ste saw Brendan smile and say, "Believe me, I let my hair down once in a while."

"Not too often I would imagine. Rumour has it you sleep at your desk! No one can keep up with you in business."

Brendan did a good show of acting modest. "I have a good team working with me."

Ste felt his heart thumping in his chest and his breathing rate increase. Brendan was looking really good. He was just as hot as Ste remembered or maybe hotter because Ste had tried to sabotage his own memories; trying to make the Irishman less than what he was. Less handsome. Less attractive. Less funny. Less pleasurable to be around and spend time with.

He felt Amy squeeze his hand to grab his attention.

"Stop staring at them, Ste!" She hissed. "It's rude!"

_I'm staring at him._

"Sorry." He muttered.

Just then Brendan turned around.

Ste took a sharp intake of breath as their eyes met across the room. He saw Brendan's face settle into one of surprise and then recognition. There was a hint of a smile there. Then the older man's eyes tracked down to stare at Ste holding Amy's hand. His expression seemed to drop.

Ste quickly pulled himself out of his friend's hold.

"What's wrong with you?" Amy said.

"Nothing." He croaked. "Um. I need to pee. Doug, can you show me where the toilets are?"

"There is a sign for them right there." Benji said pointing at it and looking at Ste as if he was stupid.

Ste ignored the student and pleaded to Doug with his eyes.

"We'll only be a second." He said.

His cheeks felt like they were burning up as he grabbed hold of his mate's hand and dragged him away. He could feel Brendan's steady gaze shift from Amy to Benji to Doug and then to him as they traversed the length of the room to get to the men's room.

Once inside Doug checked that no one else was there.

"Shit!" Ste practically shouted and covered his mouth with both hands as he paced the room. "Brendan's here. What do I do?"

"Calm down."

"Doug, he is out there!"

"I know." Doug said trying to think rationally.

"I need to get out of here."

"Why? He knows that you aren't working any more, doesn't he?"

"No! I only texted the _Dirty Dozen_ or eleven. Brendan wasn't a regular."

"Okay fine. But he will have read your notice on the website about you being unavailable." Doug reasoned. "My point is he isn't going to just approach you for a call out here when he is with the organisers of the event. That would be plain stupid."

Doug had a point.

Why didn't he find comfort in that thought? He should have been happy that his true identity was likely to remain intact and that he wouldn't need to have an awkward conversation with Brendan about how he wasn't 'in business' anymore.

"This isn't the first time this has happened. Remember when we bumped into Franco and his kids in Tescos? That was awkward but you totally ignored each other and it was fine."

"Yeah." How could he forget? It had been a doddle acting as if he didn't know Franco.

"Just do exactly the same with Brendan."

_I don't think I can. _

"Look, I've got to get back to the gallery, dude. I'm sorry." Doug said. "But you take your time here. Compose yourself. Lift your head high and join us when you are ready."

{~}

Brendan did a double take.

Caden was here at the art gallery. Ever since seeing that he had deactivated his webpage the Irishman had alternated between thinking that the escort had moved onto bigger and better things or that he was dead in a ditch somewhere from a call out that had gone wrong.

When his eyes met Caden's across the room, Caden gave Brendan an expression of pure shock. The escort was looking as hot as ever; wearing _his_ glasses. He was hand in hand with some waif-like girl and in the company of two other men; one camp and vocal and the other more composed and with more than passing resemblance to Caden. They looked extremely close; like brothers or maybe more.

There was an exchange in their huddle of four then, all of a sudden, Caden grabbed the lad's hand and dragged him across the room.

The Irishman's eyes zeroed on the firm grip; the comfort Caden had in holding his hand in public.

'_I don't need you to pretend to be my boyfriend, Caden. I don't do boyfriends.'_

'_Well some guys do.' _

'_Do you?' _

'_Do I what?'_

'_Not judging but that would make him very understanding.'_

Was that guy Caden's boyfriend?

Ted Kilner's son pointed at the lad in question. "That man has one hell of a talent Brendan. Abstract. Oil on Canvas. Visceral stuff. Digs a hole into your chest and tears your heart out. You should take a look at his work. I guarantee you'll walk away with at least one of his pieces. I've got one hanging in my office."

"What's his name?"

"Doug Carter. Incredible, isn't he?"

"Yes." Brendan said automatically.

He saw Caden and Doug disappear into the men's room as he felt a knot tighten in his gut.

It was a struggle to concentrate on anything the Kilners had to say after that. He wasn't particularly interested in art on the best of days. Now his interest had waned down to zero as he kept glancing at the men's restroom.

Minutes later he saw Doug come out of the toilets without the lad.

Brendan heard himself say,

"Excuse me. I will be back in a moment."

_Fucking stay with the family, dickhead, _He thought angrily to himself. _Don't blow your chances of a huge business deal because you are chasing tail; rent boy tail at that. __Moron._

He walked into the restroom. Only one cubicle was occupied. The toilet flushed within then the door to the cubicle opened a second later and he was faced with Caden.

The escort's jaw dropped. Brendan saw his pupils dilate and his tongue dart out involuntarily to lick his upper lip. A nervous tick.

"Brendan."

Brendan's position meant that he was all but blocking the lad's way out to the sinks.

"Is Doug your boyfriend?" He said gruffly looking down at the escort, willing for the answer to be negative.

"What?" Caden looked confused. "God no! He's a mate."

Brendan heard a grunt escape his own throat. It sounded an awful lot like relief so he ignored it.

"Those glasses suit you." He said.

Caden pushed them back and his cheeks went red. "Thanks and thanks for getting them for me."

"You're welcome."

Neither man moved. It felt like the silence between them stretched on. Then, without thinking, Brendan put a hand against Caden's chest and pushed him backwards back into the cubicle. He was met with no resistance whatsoever.

He locked them in and turned to face him.

Words weren't necessary. Exactly three weeks had passed since they had gone to Liverpool together. Three weeks had never felt so long for the Irishman.

Brendan grabbed the fabric of the smart sweater covering the escort's chest into a fist and pulled the lad to him so that they collided with a heavy thud.

He smiled at the contact; the feeling of Caden's warm plains against his. Caden smiled back as his hands settled on Brendan's waist.

He gave Brendan that look that the Irishman could not resist; that inimitable mix of sexiness, passion, lust, tentativeness and naughtiness.

Brendan placed his hand on the nape of Caden's neck; ensuring that he couldn't get away. His groan was quickly followed by a desperate crushing of their lips as he pulled the lad into a passionate kiss.


	9. Steven

_**Had to write this whilst fresh in my mind and inspired... This chapter is a hard M pretty much from the get go but there is plot in there. Pinky swear ; )**_

_**Chips x**_

**{~}**

Brendan placed his hand on the nape of Caden's neck; ensuring that he couldn't get away. His groan was quickly followed by a desperate crushing of their lips as he pulled the lad into a passionate kiss.

{~}

Any hesitation Ste may have felt was gone in an instant. Sometimes it was pointless to think too hard on things.

Doug's words of advice #5-

'_Remember to think first and do later. But sometimes it's got to be "do first, think later". You n'a mean, bra!'_

Then he wiggled his eyebrows at Ste.

Right now, with Brendan's mouth on his, Ste knew exactly what Doug meant.

His lips were bruised by the ferocity of their kiss. Soon they would be pink and swollen because Brendan demanded so much of them. Ste rose to the challenge and gave as good as he got.

If he was honest with himself, he would admit that this connection is what he had been missing and craving for the last three weeks. It had put a cloud over things.

_It's naff, innit._ He thought to himself. _I barely know him. Why do I feel like this?_

Brendan pushed him back against the edge of the motion-sensitive toilet in the cubicle and it flushed automatically. He pulled their bodies together then didn't break their kiss when he forced the bigger man backwards so that he collided with the cubicle's door. Brendan's hands moved over him, tracking under his clothes and up over his skin, skimming his chest. They felt up the plains of his back and pulled him in.

"I want you." Brendan whispered heatedly.

"Yeah." Ste replied, feeling the heat between; the thermal and the sensual. "Me too."

They kissed some more as Brendan's palms cupped his buttocks and tugged him in and up so that he was on his toes and they were groin to groin. Their sounds echoed loudly in the restroom. Heavy petting.

When the door to the restrooms opened they stilled in each other's arms. Ste held his breath and looked up at Brendan. His eyes widened as the footsteps walked right up to the cubicle they were in, only to enter an adjacent one a moment later.

Brendan looked down at him in amusement. He was enjoying this. Maybe he liked living on the edge, nearly getting caught. Or maybe he was finding Ste's reaction funny. The sweat that broke out on his forehead. The nervously bitten lower lip. The anxious hands that tightly fisted Brendan's expensive suit.

The stranger next door took his sweet time peeing while whistling tunelessly, then flushed and walked out of the cubicle. Ste and Brendan heard him wash his hands then walk out of the restroom.

Ste released his held breath. "Oh my God! We nearly got caught!"

Ste didn't suffer from satyriasis. It wasn't like him to fornicate in public toilets like some cheap slut. He hoped Brendan didn't think that of him.

The older man's arms encircled his waist, engulfing him so he buried his face into the Brendan's chest and inhaled deeply. He smelled really nice.

Brendan lifted his chin up and studied Ste's face intensely. "What are you doing later? You want to...?"

He let Ste reach the obvious conclusion to the sentence.

"Um." Ste knew what he should say; what Amy and Doug would want him to say.

_I'm busy. In fact, I didn't think I'd ever see you again so, yeah, bye. _

But things were different now that he wasn't escorting anymore, weren't they? If he went with Brendan it wouldn't be a call out so technically he wouldn't be breaking his promise to them.

_If it's not a call out then what is it? What is going on here? How do I define this? Us? A date, maybe. The first in a year._

Brendan kissed him lightly interrupting his thoughts.

Ste shook his uncertain brain and spoke a bit of sense, "I'm here with friends. I can't leave. You too."

"Them? They're not friends. That's business, Caden." Brendan whispered against his lips. "I'll tell them something urgent has come up."

He brought their pelvises together to clarify his meaning then smiled mischievously.

"You're having a laugh, right." Ste grinned back. "You can't say that."

Brendan simply raised an eyebrow in response then he took his hands off Ste, stuffed them into his pockets and leaned back against the cubicle. "So, what do you say?"

_Don't, Ste. This could get complicated. Meeting up with an ex-client but not being with him as a client. That's too messy. Just walk away._

He cleared his throat. "Uh..."

Doug's words of advice #6-

_Never mix business with pleasure. It is bound to end in tears._

But this wasn't business anymore. It was pure undiluted pleasure.

Before he could change his mind he said,

"I need to send a quick text then."

{~}

Now that Brendan was no longer a client Ste could own up to the fact that he liked this imperfect mysterious stranger. Really liked him. And he wanted to see whether there could be something more between them. He had a feeling that Brendan felt the same way through things he had said, how he had been, how he had behaved. It couldn't just be wishful thinking.

What he knew for a fact was that he could not admit to these feelings to Doug and Amy. Not yet at least. Not until he was what happened with Brendan. They would tell him he was delusional.

The trip in the taxi to Brendan's place was full of sexual tension. Barely a word was exchanged; just the occasional telling look and surreptitious touch, a teaser of what was to come. The taxi driver made three a crowd. He must have sensed it because he sped through the dark streets of Chester at breakneck speed so that they were outside Brendan's in no time.

Fast forward to Brendan and Ste entering the apartment. Brendan barely had time to close the door before Ste was on him kissing him passionately.

"At ease, soldier." Brendan said breathlessly. He led the way up the stairs to the first floor with Ste just behind him, gripping his own hands into fists to stop himself from pawing the older man like some sex pest.

"Let me get what we need." Brendan said, then disappeared through a door at the far end of the room and returned with lube and a roll of condoms. Magnum. For the well-endowed.

He ran them seductively over Ste's body before dropping them to the floor when they began to kiss again. The heat went up a notch. Ste quickly and impatiently helped him out of his jacket and shirt.

_Slow down. Take your time. _

He took pause to assimilate Brendan's body, what was on show right now. The hard pecs. The developed muscles of his taut concave stomach. The hint of rib cage on inhalation. The scattering of hairs that looked courser than they felt.

All of it was his to enjoy.

He took his glasses off and put them on a nearby ledge.

"In case someone tries to break them again." He said with a smile.

Brendan grinned back. "They are the superman of glasses. Couldn't break them if I tried."

Ste murmured, "I'm not a gambling man so..."

He kissed Brendan's nipple while gazing into his eyes. The Irishman jerked in response so he kissed it again and then the other, savouring him.

Brendan hissed, shuddered, then muttered, "You proud of yourself? You've found my Achilles heel."

Ste murmured. "I missed that last time."

He let his lips do the talking then, tracing down Brendan's chest. This was body worship; fondling, kissing, groping, licking; whatever he fancied until he was on his knees and he reached a barrier. A buckled up belt. The waist line of a perfectly cut pair of trousers.

He pushed a hand between Brendan's legs to cup his balls through the material and rub against his dick. Then he started to take the Irishman's trousers off.

Brendan stopped him and got him back on his feet. The power of his kiss pushed Ste backwards unbalancing him so that he had to reach out and grab onto the bigger man. A huff and groan later and he was in Brendan's arms; lifted up, legs encircling his waist, clinging on for dear life.

He was ready to be fucked already. Hard. Slow. It didn't matter. He was game. Brendan made him want it; made him so easy. He wanted Brendan so much; too much maybe.

Was that possible?

Brendan carried him to the couch in the living area. Ste combed his fingers through his hair and tugged at his ear lobes with his teeth to occupy his mouth. To prevent himself from begging Brendan to hurry up and stick his dick in him already.

Brendan laid him on the warm soft white leather and looked down at him with fire in his eyes. Sensible Ste vaguely felt bad for the state the couch would be in when they were done with it. Brendan didn't appear to have any such concerns as he pulled Ste's trousers off unhurriedly, then his underwear, like unwrapping the last of a pile of gifts.

Ste self-consciously covered his groin with both hands. He was rock hard already. How embarrassing. All they had done so far was have a little kiss and a grope.

Brendan climbed on top of him and pushed his obstructive hands away. He lifted Ste's shirt off over his head. It was unwanted and unnecessary.

He did a slow continuous lick up his stomach and chest. It made every hair on Ste's body go up on end. He moaned so Brendan repeated the lick only this time it started at Ste's balls and up the base of his dick. It moved up over the shaft then the supersensitive frenulum, flickering over it lightly like a butterfly, making Ste pant. Without preamble, his cock slid down Brendan's throat right down to the root.

That was unexpected.

He bucked involuntarily as he felt throat muscles swallow around him.

Fuck. Brendan was so good at this. He grabbed Brendan's hair reflexively and the Irishman grinned at him. "Sweet cock."

Ste didn't know what to say other than, "Thanks."

He gasped in surprise when Brendan firmly took hold of his hands and lifted them up to trap them down to the couch above his head. He kissed Ste. Deeply, ardently, heatedly.

Brendan's look was hungry as he pulled back to inspect Ste's naked blushing body.

"You're a skinny fella, ain't ye?"

Passion brought out Brendan's accent. Ste liked how it got even thicker than it already was. How sexy.

"Maybe." He lifted his head up to get more kisses but he couldn't reach Brendan. "But I'm strong, me."

"Prove it." Brendan whispered.

Ste tried to reach up again but he was trapped. His legs were straddled by Brendan's. His arms were fixed over his head. He tried to free himself but couldn't. No chance. Brendan was stronger than him.

Ste smiled uneasily and tried again, this time with more effort but still he couldn't get out of the taller man's hold. His heart started beating faster but not with passion or excitement. This didn't feel right. Brendan was restraining him. While normally he didn't mind, and in the right hands he even enjoyed it, he didn't like it tonight.

Not after the letter.

_You are nothing but rot. A filthy whore... I see you for what you are... You had better watch your back because one day, when you least expect it, I'll be there and you will breathe your last breath and the world will be better for it._

He entertained the impossible.

Surely Brendan wasn't the crazed psycho who sent him the hateful threatening mail?

If he was then Ste was devastated. He had totally misjudged the man and he was in danger. He hadn't even told Amy or Doug where he was for fear of their backlash.

No one knew where he was right now and this could be the scenario that his friends had warned him to be careful to avoid.

What Brendan himself had cautioned him about.

_You want to be careful, Caden._

Had that advice actually been a warning?

Ste was about to lose it. He was about to scream and beat Brendan off him like a savage beast.

He reached his head up to bite at Brendan's chest or neck and used his legs and back muscles to try and throw Brendan off him. His face contorted ferociously from the effort.

"That all you got?" Brendan whispered into his ear but the muscles of his torso and arms were tense with the effort of keeping Ste down.

Suddenly he let go of Ste's hands, releasing him.

He soothingly caressed over the lad's body and smiled down at him. "We'll need to work on that. That was pitiful. You barely made me break a sweat."

He gave Ste a cheeky wink then kissed the corner of his mouth, the angle of his jaw, his shoulder and the centre of his chest.

"So fucking skinny." He whispered again as he leisurely wrapped his arms around Ste's body. "So fucking hot."

{~}

Brendan could kiss the lad for days. Caden had lips that begged for it. They called for attention. Even when he knew that there was so much more to explore of the lad's body he had to come back to his mouth once in a while.

It was simply irresistible.

He eventually moved south. He tongued the freckles that dusted Caden's shoulders, grazed his hand over the wordy tattoo that marked the lad's left flank and touched a finger along the scar on the lad's right lower stomach.

These physical imperfections were already familiar to Brendan.

He took Caden's cock into his mouth again. It felt good. It tasted good.

"You want me to put on a condom on it? Just, I mean for you, if you want..." Caden asked. He stared at Brendan with dilated pupils. "I'm negative, like, for everything. I get tested regularly."

Brendan grinned. The kid bordered on OCD. It was good to know he was careful and Brendan never fucked anyone without protection, whether they claimed to be 'clean' or not, but oral... it was virtually impossible to catch something irreversible through oral.

"Thanks for the newsflash. So am I." He said. "Now can I..."

He pointed at Caden's cock before caressing its tip with his tongue once again.

"Yeah." Caden sighed as his head fell back onto the couch and his eyes fell shut. "Sure. Yeah."

Brendan took his time, sucking on the head before going up and down the shaft.

The lad loved it. Every bit of Caden's body showed it; from the keening sounds coming from the back of his throat to the gentle undulation of his hips as he thrust leisurely up into Brendan's mouth. He was a picture as he panted through slightly swollen lips and occasionally darted a tongue out to moisten drying lips. His intense blue eyes were half closed, partly obscured by long lashes as they looked in awe at Brendan's ministrations. His cheeks were rosy, his slim torso was heaving. One hand teased his own nipples while the other rested on Brendan's shoulder like an anchor to reality.

Brendan thought he looked fucking hot. Delicious.

Then the lad became toneless. He sighed and gasped, "That's-, oh my-, Brendan...!"

Caden was close.

Brendan tongued his balls; heavy and ready to release their seed. He massaged them with his mouth, sucking at them and licking while he fisted Caden's cock rapidly.

Completely indecipherable groans came out of the lad then he went stock still.

Caden came hard shouting out Brendan's name as he convulsed and shot all over himself. Brendan kissed him to simply quieten him down. The walls of his apartment were thick but even they couldn't contain the lad. His neighbours would definitely not appreciate the auditory X-rated disruption.

If cumming were ever to become an Olympic sport, Caden would get gold every time. He rippled with his orgasm. It ran through every single cell in his body as he gasped and jerked. His body was taut and bowed, eyes shut, face scrunched up, mouth open and accommodating Brendan's, tasting himself as they kissed. Despite the kiss, a rhythmic groan came from him and transferred through to Brendan with every shudder.

Brendan sat back and watched as the lad settled into a post orgasmic puddle of bliss. There were a couple of white on white cum stains on the couch.

_Mary will be pissed_, Brendan thought.

He swiped through some of the white viscous bodily fluid that was pooled on Caden's chest with two fingers and took it to the lad's mouth.

"You've come buckets." He said. It was as if the man hadn't rubbed one out in a while which was a ludicrous proposition.

Caden greedily licked Brendan's fingers. "Yeah."

He was still horned up. Still up for more.

Good, because Brendan wasn't done with him yet. He hadn't had his fill.

Caden moaned. "That were... wow, Brendan."

Brendan stood up and got out of the rest of his clothes. He pulled Caden to the edge of the couch on his back.

He bent Caden's knees back, "Hold them there".

He manoeuvred the lad's butt so that it was on the low armrest of the divan; his arse angled up to a perfect position. A perfect view. Then Brendan picked the lube and condoms and placed them next to where he knelt, on the floor to the side on the couch. He caressed Caden's thighs, over the fine hairs of his legs, his inner thighs, splaying them out wider. As his hands got closer to his groin Brendan felt the lad pull himself closer to his touch so that his arse cheeks hung over the edge of the arm rest.

Brendan was not falling for his silent plea. He wasn't going to rush himself. His fingers lightly scratched over pert buttocks; arsehole winking at him in between the two delectable mounds of flesh. It was trying to tempt him into foregoing any further foreplay.

The tight puckered hole twitched so he spat on it, lubing it up. Caden clamped his legs together instinctively as the warm saliva hit him then splayed them apart and flexed his knees even more. An open invitation.

"Do it." He whispered. "Please." He reached his hands down to hold Brendan's hand in his. "Please."

Brendan smiled. The lad wanted to get fucked already. Okay. That could be arranged.

His voice was barely under control. "Get yourself ready for me."

Caden flushed even more as he used his own cum to rub over his hole, mixing it in with Brendan's spit. He touched himself until his moans grew louder and louder.

Brendan couldn't fail to notice how Caden's other hand continued to hold his, intertwining their fingers together and squeezing. A gesture that was better suited to a walk in the park than hot sex. Brendan didn't mind it.

He gave the lad's fingers a squeeze in return.

Caden threw his head back and pushed two fingers into himself slowly, allowing himself to adjust. He fucked himself with them, knowing just how much pressure to put on his prostate to feel like a thousand bolts of pleasure were shooting through him.

His face slackened with ecstasy.

Brendan saw the lad's fingers repeatedly disappear into his tight heat. He was transported away making Brendan envious. His penis was jealous of Caden digits.

Brendan slipped a lubed finger in deep next to Caden's own, stretching him out more. Caden sluggishly opened his eyes.

They hit a stride, plunging and withdrawing in unison until Brendan tried stuffing another in.

Caden winced and pulled away dislodging them all.

"No, Brendan." He sounded impatient. He inhaled, exhaled then got his arse back into position on the armrest. "Just fuck me now."

Brendan bit back a laugh of surprise. "Okay, bossy boots."

He sunk his teeth into a butt cheek then picked up a condom. He rolled it on, poured lube on it and then lined up to Caden's hole. The lad had his hands firmly gripping Brendan's hips. It was as if he wanted to make sure Brendan followed through on his promise.

The maths didn't make sense when Brendan's dick was placed next to Caden's hole. Despite prepping it had already snapped shut. So Brendan rubbed his cock over it, then tapped against it, then applied the slightest bit of pressure onto it with the tip of his dick; getting the two reacquainted to facilitate a smooth passage.

Caden didn't seem to understand his logic. His hold on Brendan's hips became a death grip that silently told him to stop messing around and get on with it.

So to prevent injury to his hips Brendan pushed in more firmly. After some resistance, the head of his thick cock was engulfed in Caden's wet heat. His sigh was matched by Caden's.

He began with shallow thrusts, in then all the way out; testing the waters and watching Caden dilate with every invasion.

He pulled his dick out again and poured more lube onto Caden.

Caden moaned with desire. He wanted it bad; all of it. He reached for Brendan's cock and guided it back into him.

Brendan shoved the first few inches in one thrust that had Caden shouting out then reaching up to him and pulling him down for a kiss. Brendan extricated himself from his hold. He wanted to see the rest of his dick sliding in, bit by bit.

He watched as the lad's already hard cock stiffened more. It took time to ease into him completely but Brendan was patient. With time and practice the lad would learn to take him quicker in the future. Balls deep.

Caden groaned as Brendan held his cock while fucking him.

It wasn't long before he was jack-hammering into him, fucking Caden back onto the couch and off the armrest.

"Fuck me!" Caden barked at him between moans.

Brendan grunted as he pushed him back onto his dick, back to having his arse hanging over the armrest. There were advantages to Caden being slim. He was manoeuvrable.

Brendan gripped both his legs as levers then drove in hard. His dick thrust in at a merciless pace that Caden was going all kinds of crazy for.

Caden looked right at him with glazed disbelieving eyes. Brendan wasn't sure what was going through his head exactly.

_I can't believe I am taking this? I can't believe is feels so good? _

Every so often Caden stroked his cock; when he wasn't too overcome by Brendan driving into him. When he slid down the couch yet again due to the force of Brendan's thrusts, Brendan went to sit on the couch and breathlessly told Caden to,

"Ride it."

Caden faced him, straddling his thighs. He did an impromptu lap dance as he pushed down on Brendan's cock; a slow but steady gyration of his hips to accommodate the big man back into him. They kissed as he finally sat flush on Brendan.

Caden whispered against his mouth. "You're so deep in me."

Then they kissed once more.

His embrace was tight and sealed them together. As they kissed Caden began to rise and fall on Brendan. There was a skill to this, a skill he had nailed; too fast and it would all be over soon. Too slow and Brendan would want to take control of the pace again.

They were in tune; their breathing and panting was in unison. They kissed again and again, completely in the moment, so that it was hard to say where one kiss ended and the next began.

Brendan had hardly any room for manoeuvre but he took advantage of the little he had to drive up into the lad while Caden ground himself down on him, enjoying every inch of his cock. They rocked against each other.

"Oh!" Caden's arms squeezed tighter around Brendan's shoulders; burrowing his face into his neck, trapping his dick between their bodies where the friction of their bodies stimulated it.

The whisper into Brendan's ear was almost defeated; a sigh of resignation. "I'm going to cum again."

Brendan slid down the couch, in a slouchy position, so that he could plant his feet firmly on the floor. He took hold of Caden's hips and plowed up into him hard and fast. The lad bucked from the force nearly falling off Brendan's lap.

Brendan's orgasm hit him with full force, like an unanticipated wave crashing against his back in open sea. It would have blown his socks off had he been wearing any. He let out a short sharp yell as he came, overwhelmed by the intensity, and then grunted through the rest of his shudders.

Caden's climax was just as powerful. He seemed to wrap himself in Brendan's arms like a knot that could not be untangled. Not that Brendan wanted to untangle himself. He kept a firm hold of the lad sharing the moment; feeling a sense of carnal completeness that only came after a perfectly imperfect shag.

Caden was giggling breathlessly. He panted heavily as Brendan kissed him. It proved to be a kiss of sorts; a lazy exchange of air, a flicker of tongues, a swipe of grinning lips.

They fell back onto the couch together, spent and completed devoid of energy.

{~}

As Ste had anticipated the couch suffered and he knew that he was the main reason for the mess on it. Not his fault. He had suggested that he wear a condom. That would have contained the mess. He tried to think of the right type of cleaning product to remove the cum.

Maybe a wet wipe then soapy water would do the trick. Or would that ruin the leather?

Doug would know. Doug knew everything.

"It'll come off." Brendan whispered lazily as if reading his mind.

They were lying along the length of the sizeable couch, legs intertwined, facing each other. Brendan's arm was flung over Ste's waist. His fingers drew languid circles on him. The other was tucked under his head as a makeshift pillow.

Ste couldn't help but say. "Like it has before, you mean."

_Careful. Jealousy isn't sexy._

"What?" Brendan frowned until he got the lad's meaning. "No. I mean Mary is coming tomorrow. She'll sort it."

His voice was dismissive.

"Mary?"

"My cleaner-slash-headache."

"You have a cleaner."

"Yes." Brendan grinned.

"Oh my God."

"What?"

"Nothing."

_Lazy git._

"Who has time to clean?" Brendan defended.

"You're going to let that poor woman clean this mess."

Brendan shrugged. "I was going to wipe the obvious bits and then let her do the rest. Yes."

"And none of that sounds wrong to you?"

"Nope." He kissed Ste's forehead and run his hand over his back and over his buttocks. "You're sexy when you get on your soap box."

Ste stood up.

"Where are you going?" Brendan asked.

"Where are your cleaning supplies?" Ste spoke to him like a child.

Brendan shook his head as he unhurriedly sat in the centre of the couch and put his arms over the back of it; guarding it.

"I'm not letting you touch this unless you are a professional."

Ste went towards the kitchen, dressed in his birthday suit and started opening cupboards. He was hoping he would come across a detergent that said 'Cum-stain remover for white leather couches'.

He didn't but he did find an all purpose cleaner, a sponge and some Marigolds.

He put the bright yellow gloves on then poured some of the liquid onto the sponge before approaching the couch.

Brendan was smiling at him in amusement. "If Mary looked like you she would never get any work done..."

Ste paused at receiving the compliment. He was being sidetracked from his mission.

"But Mary is three times your age, has a limp and a mole on her face with a hair growing out of it."

"And she is a she." Ste gave him a rueful smile.

"And she is a she." Brendan agreed.

"Please stand up. I need to clean."

"No." Brendan's grin broadened. "Kiss me."

"Not yet." Ste's smile was lopsided. He was going to win this battle. "Get up, Brendan."

"No."

He dived forwards, hoping his speed would let him get to the couch before Brendan stopped him.

That didn't happen.

He landed on the floor with a thud, tackled down by Brendan, who had also somehow managed to get the sponge out of his hand too.

The older man was straddled over him trapping him to the floor only this time it was fine. Better than fine.

Ste felt a churning feeling in his belly as Brendan looked down at him.

"The 'Marigold plus nothing' look is a good one on you." Brendan said then he ran the sponge over Ste's chest.

"Oi, get off!" Ste said.

Brendan was removing cum off him.

"You need this more than my furniture does."

"So do you!" Ste tried to grab the sponge back but the gloves limited him. "This stuff is going to mess my skin up. What if it had acid in it or something?"

He leaned his head up to try and sniff the potent smell of the detergent as if he would recognise what acid smelt like.

"Maybe we should get showered then."

Brendan rubbed the sponge over Ste's groin and he felt himself respond. He couldn't believe that he was still up for more after what Brendan and he had just shared.

"Okay." He said.

Brendan got off him and then helped him up to stand.

It was only as they made their way up the stairs that Ste realised Brendan had played him like a fiddle.

He hadn't touched the couch.

{~}

They showered together in the bathroom and then dried each other off in Brendan's bedroom.

Then the internal questioning began.

_What now?_ Brendan thought.

_Ask him to stay the night_, a part of him said.

Brendan wanted nothing more. He could not reach a saturation point with Caden. The more exposure he got to him the more he wanted. The lad got under his skin. Between the metaphorical sheets he made Brendan's bones sing and skin tingle. But there was more. He injected light into Brendan's gray soulless life. He brought humour and excitement that Brendan hadn't felt for a long time, if ever, if he really thought about it.

_It's because he is a new toy. Something shiny to play with and while away the dark times with. Ditch him. He's no use to you and you are no good for him. _

_Remember what happened._

Brendan knew that this second voice of reason was right. Caden and he had gelled in Liverpool. There had been an immediate connection. The insane jealousy he experienced when he had seen Caden with Doug at the art gallery when he had assumed they were a couple echoed how he had felt when he woke up to find Caden gone in the hotel in Liverpool. His brain could not entertain the thought of the lad with other men.

Those emotions were confusing and unneeded especially since they were towards a man whose living was sleeping with men for money.

Caden was, by definition, an actor; a man who had to adapt to make his client feel special, to create the illusion of a connection.

Brendan had to nip his feelings in the bud. They weren't real. They were reactionary. Cheryl had said something like this might happen. Transference she had called it.

The best way to end it was to stop seeing Caden. Go cold turkey. But he knew he would slip up because he had tonight after keeping away from him for three weeks.

So he compromised. He would limit their encounters to quick call outs. Nothing more. Shags with little or no conversation. He could do that. His past sexual experiences had involved exactly that, with the exception of one man.

Brendan could be composed and detached when it came to Caden.

Caden was looking at him now as he stood in the middle of his room with one of Brendan's bath towels wrapped low around his hips. He looked uncertainly at Brendan. He probably didn't know whether to change back into his clothes which were scattered on the floor downstairs or whether to shed the towel and climb into bed.

"Did you go on holiday?" Brendan asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Your account was inactive the last time I checked." He clarified.

"Oh, yeah. No. I should have called you and told you. I didn't know if I should because we had only met twice."

Which meant he had informed clients that he had met on more occasions than that, Brendan concluded. That twist of jealousy reappeared.

"I wasn't on holiday." Caden smiled as he walked up to Brendan. He placed his hands on the taller man. "I meant to tell you. I don't..."

Brendan cut him off with a kiss. He hadn't meant to but the way he smiled and looked at him and the way he touched him made it impossible to resist.

_You're in deep._ His voice of reason taunted. _He's acting. Don't_ _forget_.

"No."

"What?" Caden said.

Brendan cleared his throat. "I think you need to get going." He said.

Caden's face dropped. "Really?"

"Your friends will be worried about you."

Caden smiled. "Oh that. No. It's okay. I'll explain later. They'll understand."

"What is that supposed to mean? Do they know about me?"

"Uh."

"I thought you said you were discreet." He knew he was being an arsehole but he was angry at himself for having a complete lack of self control when it came to the man before him.

"Discreet?" Caden frowned at him.

"_Your_ words. On _your_ site."

Caden smiled again. "Yeah. That is what I was trying to say to you..."

"I don't need you to stay tonight, Caden." Brendan said firmly, trying to convince himself as much as letting the escort know.

"I thought we were getting along." Caden's voice was small.

"We fuck. I cum. You cum. Is that what you mean?" He said clinically.

"No, that's not what I mean." Caden gripped Brendan's arms.

He looked upset.

"You can drop the act now. You were great, okay. Your service is second to none. You live up to your own hype." Brendan said.

He marched up to his briefcase and took out some money.

"Oh my God." He heard the escort say. Only it sounded like choking.

"Here." He stuffed the pile of cash into Caden's hand. "I'll call you for our next time."

Caden looked blankly at the money in his hand. He made a fist around it then looked back up at Brendan.

For the Irishman it was like staring in a mirror.

The escort's eyes looked dead; much like Brendan knew his looked when he stared at his own reflection of a morning.

He couldn't understand the escort's reaction or lack thereof. It was as if the very essence of what made Caden who he was disappeared with a snap of the fingers.

The escort was barely audible when he eventually said, "Thanks."

He whipped off the bath towel. "You've been very clear. Sorry. I'll go down and get changed then. I'll be gone in five."

As Caden left the room, Brendan felt a pull to take his words back, to stop the escort. To tell him that he regretted his words.

Brendan wanted to kiss him and apologise because he had a feeling he had hurt the lad but then that would mean that Caden actually cared and that was a preposterous supposition because they barely knew each other and what they shared was just a business transaction.

That's it.

A fucked up business transaction.


	10. Paul

Brendan wanted to kiss him and apologise because he had a feeling he had hurt the lad but that would mean that Caden actually cared and that was a preposterous supposition because they barely knew each other and what they shared was just a business transaction.

That's it.

A fucked up business transaction where the item for purchase was sex with Caden and the remuneration was monetary.

The boundaries were clearly defined. There was no need to blur the edges.

He walked downstairs to the living area to find Caden gone so he looked through the heavy curtains of the balcony window. The escort was crossing Watergate Street with his shoulders slumped and his hands in pockets, heading towards the city centre. He stopped, for a moment, outside the café across the road. The one that he had stared at before going to Liverpool with Brendan.

_Coffee Hut. _What was the lad's connection to that place?

Brendan let the curtain drop. When he turned to look at the living area evidence of the lad's presence was all over the spacious room. The white couch wasn't where it usually was having shifted across the floor due to the ferocity of Brendan's pummelling. It wasn't pristine anymore either. It smelt of Caden's aftershave and body scent. Musky and citrusy. It reminded Brendan of warm skin, hungry kisses, insistent hands, breathy sighs and filthy groans.

He gathered up and binned the pair of bright yellow gloves, used condoms and the sponge. He picked up the lube bottle and the two unused condoms that were left.

_For next time._

Because he knew that a next time would happen with the lad. It was inevitable.

That was when he realised that he had no way of getting hold of the escort.

{~}

Ste stood outside a block of highrise flats located on the margins of the city centre. He looked at the list of flat numbers and surnames in front of him. He pushed a finger on the buzzer next to the names Carter/Jacobs and kept it there. It took a minute before he got a reply.

"Ste cut that out." The voice that came through the intercom was not impressed. "It's nearly midnight, dude."

"How did you know it was me?"

Doug spoke with an edge of disappointment not dissimilar to a parent addressing a wayward child.

"I left you in the restroom for one minute, Ste. One minute. Next thing I know I'm getting a text that says 'Going now. Tell Amy something' and when I look around both you and what's-his-name are dust."

Ste's shoulders slumped. He was beating himself up about tonight as it was. He didn't need Doug adding insult to injury.

After a pause his friend sighed deeply. "Sorry. I didn't mean to pop off at the mouth. I was worried about you, is all. You didn't reply to any of my texts."

Ste had turned his phone to silent when it kept going off during his taxi ride back to Brendan's.

"No, I know. I'm sorry."

"You want to come up for a post-mortem?"

Ste swallowed back a wave of emotion. "Yeah."

{~}

Doug let him into his tiny flat a few minutes later Ste hugged the artist so hard that the wind was knocked out of him.

Doug was in sweats and a rock band t-shirt. His 'chilling' clothes.

He held Ste tightly. "Easy buddy. Easy. I've just told Amy you're with me so she doesn't get stressed."

Ste pulled back. "Doug, I-"

Doug placed a finger to his lips, shook his head and whispered,

"Benji's next door."

The sound of music and cooking were coming from the kitchen.

They walked through to see the student busying himself at the cooker. Ste knew without looking into the pots that he was making pasta. It was the only edible dish that he could make.

"Hi sweetie." Benji's skinny frame was covered by board shorts that hung low on his hips. He pulled Ste into a quick hug. "We are about to celebrate with some food!"

"Smells good." Ste said.

It smelt distinctly average, not that he was concentrating on the aromas in the room. He had other things on his mind.

Benji said. "Thanks."

Ste really needed to talk to Doug in private without his boyfriend there but it didn't look like that was going to happen.

Benji threw diced onions into a frying pan. The hot oil reacted to the water in them by spitting up.

"Baby, put a shirt on. You'll get burned." Doug said.

"Aw. Look at my boyfriend getting all worried about me." Benji said as he threw more diced items into the same pan with little caution. "Isn't he cute, Ste?"

"Yeah." Ste said.

"Dougie said you had to rush off to cover at the wine bar. That sucks."

Doug lifted a pointed eyebrow at Ste that said. 'See. You are making me lie to my own boyfriend. I hope you're happy.'

"The wine bar. Yeah." Ste nodded briskly.

If only he had been called to the wine bar. If only. Then he would have avoided meeting Brendan at the art gallery and dodged the humiliation of what had subsequently happened.

The corners of his eyes prickled with unshed tears and Doug placed a soothing hand on his shoulder.

"Are you joining us?" Benji asked over his shoulder as he poured _passata_ into the saucepan and let it simmer.

"Actually, Ben..." Doug used his most winning voice on his boyfriend as he walked up to him and curled his arms around his waist. He kissed Benji's shoulder.

"What?"

"I was thinking that we should have sparkling wine with our food." Doug said.

"But we don't have any."

"Yeah but the off licence around the corner has."

Benji stared at his boyfriend then at Ste suspiciously.

"Please." Doug looked at him pleadingly as he passed over a twenty pound note. "I'll keep an eye on the pots."

Watching the exchange of money turned Ste's stomach.

Twenty pounds was insignificant to Brendan. A pile of twenties, like the wodge of banknotes that currently filled Ste's pocket, was nothing to him.

"Okay." Benji whispered reluctantly. "But you know that it's freezing out and that the only people who go to the offy at this time are alkies, murders and muggers."

Doug gave his boyfriend a kiss. "Drama queen."

The minute Benji left, Doug turned to Ste. They sat on the threadbare sofa in the living room. Ste curled up, hugging his bent knees up to his body.

"So what happened?"

"I went to Brendan's place."

"Did you sleep with him?"

Ste couldn't look at Doug straight in the face. "Yes."

Doug turned to sit cross legged facing his friend. He didn't look surprised just disappointed. "You promised you would never escort again."

"I wasn't escorting." Ste tried to explain. "I mean-"

"You went off on a night that was really important to me, Ste. How selfish is that?"

Ste hadn't considered that at all. He had been too busy thinking about himself.

"I'm sorry."

"I just don't get it. You have never put your clients over your friends."

"He's not just a client!" Ste said angrily.

Doug's eyes widened as they connected with Ste's. "What?"

Ste didn't want to crumble in front of his friend. He knew that he had made a rod for his own back. He didn't think he deserved sympathy but he was devastated.

"Hey." Doug rubbed Ste's cheeks.

Ste hadn't realised he was crying.

"What do you mean 'he is not just a client'?"

"Nothing." Ste said quietly after a moment.

"Tell me."

Ste connected his watery eyes with Doug's concerned ones.

"It's stupid. I'm stupid." The words Ste then said were whispered so that they wouldn't sound ludicrous. "You know when you asked me if I liked him, I lied to you when I said I didn't. You were right. I really liked him and I thought that he liked me too. so when I went back to his place I thought it was because he felt a connection between us. It's silly, right, because it's not as if we know each other? I've met him three times. That's it. Three times. I don't know what I was thinking ..."

He paused and wiped his tears.

"When we did it I wanted to be with him so badly. But it was just sex. I know that now. I am sounding like a right twat."

"What happened after?"

Ste took out the money from his back pocket and placed it on the sofa between them. "This."

"He thought you were still hustling."

Ste sniffed back tears and nodded. "So I left."

"Didn't you tell him you had stopped?"

"I tried to."

Doug took a shaky breath out. "Gosh, Ste. Shit. I didn't realise you felt that much for him."

"I should have thrown the money back in his face."

"You're kidding right? You earned the cash but you were right to walk away."

"Yeah. I was. Wasn't I?"

"Ste, listen to me, Brendan is... was a _client_. He is never going to see you as anything other than a rent boy. He doesn't want you as a boyfriend. He even told you that he doesn't do relationships. That is why he hired you; so that he could get sex with no strings attached. That is not the kind of guy you want to get involved with, is it?"

Ste creased his eyebrows. "Do you think he sees other tricks?"

"Does it matter if he does?"

Doug's hand on his shoulder felt heavy; weighted down by the truth of his words.

"No."

Doug said kindly. "Sorry if I'm sounding harsh but I don't want you getting involved with the wrong guy again. You'll find someone amazing to share your life with, Ste. Someone who will treat you the way you deserve but it's not going to be Brendan."

Ste closed his eyes.

Doug was right once again.

In Brendan's eyes he would always be a hustler. Now Ste was beginning to think that that was all he was good for; that that was all he was designed to do.

Doug pulled him into his arms.

Doug's advice #7-

"A hug is just a hug between friends as long as crotch doesn't rub against crotch." Doug smiled. "Then it's an invitation or foreplay."

Ste smiled genuinely for the first time since coming into the flat. "You're funny."

"Why don't you stay tonight?" Doug suggested. "I'll be around in the morning before my yshift at the cafe. We can hang out."

Ste nodded into Doug's neck. "Yeah okay but are you two going to shag tonight?"

Ste had stayed over before. The walls were thin and Benji got loud.

"Maybe." Doug smiled.

Ste kicked off his socks and took off his sweater and shirt. Then he shoved Doug off with his feet before laying back and making himself comfortable. "Could I borrow a t-shirt please?"

"Yeah. Sure. How are you feeling?" His friend looked down at him.

"Fine. Tomorrow I'll feel like a right idiot for making such a big deal out of this." Ste tried a smile. "Do you have ear plugs?"

"Don't worry, we'll be quiet."

"No you won't and I can't be doing with this all night, can I?"

Ste did an imitation of Benji having an orgasm.

{~}

The next day Brendan was late to work. He had hardly slept the night before.

When he stepped into his office a steaming cup of coffee and Paul were waiting for him along with a pile of papers.

"Morning, boss."

"Morning." Brendan sat at his desk.

"How was family time with the Kilners last night?"

Brendan had almost forgotten that his evening had begun with brown-nosing the Liverpudlian super family; schmoozing then dinner then the art exhibition.

"How do you think it went?" He said. He drank his coffee in one go.

"Like you would have preferred to get amputated without anaesthetic."

Brendan smirked. "We hang out too much, Paulie. You're beginning to read my mind."

Paul grinned.

"I want you to send flowers to Kilner's wife and a bottle of Irish whiskey to his son with thank you notes."

"It's as good as done."

"What am I doing today?"

Paul glanced at his tablet. "Friday. Okay. Busy day. Back to back meetings." He handed over an A4 sheet. "Here's your timetable."

"Fuck me." Brendan said as he perused his itinerary. "Anything exciting?"

"Your sister wants to have lunch with you."

"So nothing exciting then. She called you?"

"Yes. She said she has been trying to get hold of you on your mobile but you keep ignoring her calls."

"True." Brendan's phone had been ringing off the hook with her calls for the past few weeks. He had no time to indulge her maternal side and be reminded of what he was trying to forget and ignore.

"What shall I tell her?"

"That I have back to back meetings."

"Harsh." Paul said _sottovoce_.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing." He cleared his throat. "Those papers there need your signature. In particular Phil's got a couple of new employees for the Kilner project that he would like you to sign off on. Their CVs are on the pile. Then it's the usual stuff."

"Rock and roll."

"What shall I get you for lunch?"

"A sandwich. Surprise me with the filling. Something hot."

"Okay."

Brendan looked up as Paul typed onto his tablet. "Actually... have you heard of the _Coffee Hut_?"

"On Watergate? Isn't that where you live?"

Brendan raised an eyebrow. "Not far."

"Yeah I know the place. Classy. Good muffins. Tasty paninis."

"I want you to get my sandwich from there."

"I'll have someone deliver a couple of options."

"No. I want _you_ to go there personally."

Paul was taken aback. "Me? Why."

It sounded like; _I'm too busy for that shit._

Brendan wasn't going to admit the reason for his demand to himself and certainly not to his secretary.

He stared at Paul. "Because."

"Are you trying to buy the place? It's nice but it's small pickings. You wouldn't get a decent return on it."

"I just want a sandwich, Paulie, not the building it is made in."

"Oh, Okay."

"But get me as much information as you can on it. Manager. Employees..."

Paul smiled. "You _are_ trying to buy it!"

Brendan put his index finger to his lips. "Shush."

_I'm not. I am trying to track Caden down and using you to do it._

"Fine I'll keep things hush-hush."

"Good."

{~}

Ste stood outside _Coffee Hut_ with Doug just shy of midday. The artist's shift was due to begin.

He was wearing one of Doug's t-shirts over the trousers he wore the night before. It was zany navy with small red polka dots. The fit was right. The taste wasn't.

"You want to come in for some lunch?"

"No. I should get going." Ste replied.

"Are you going to be okay?" The artist asked him for the nth time.

"Stop asking me that. I'm fine. I had a wobble last night but I'm over it now. I feel a bit embarrassed about making it into such a big deal. I totally went over the top. I think I was tired, me."

"I don't know. You're all strange. You're not being the Ste I know and love."

Ste pointed at his smile. "Better?"

"Not really. What are you going to do now?"

"I've got a few things to buy in town then I'm heading home. Ames doesn't work Fridays so we'll probably hang out."

"You could go to the post office." Doug suggested.

Ste felt himself clam up thinking about his last trip there. "Yeah. Maybe."

"You need to close your post office box, Ste."

"Yeah." Ste said evasively. "Yeah."

"By the way, I told Ames that you were working at the wine bar in case she brings up where you were last night." Doug said. "I didn't think she needed to know the truth. She'd go crazy if she knew. Besides there is nothing to tell anymore, is there, now that it is in the past?"

The pause before Ste's reply was too long but if Doug noticed he didn't comment on it.

"Yeah." Ste said vehemently. "It's over. I'm done with Brendan."

{~}

Brendan's money came in handy.

Ste's first stop was a body piercing parlour. He walked in and was confronted by a typical stereotype of a tattoo artist; leather bound, pierced and tattooed.

"You're back." The man commented.

Ste frowned. "You remember me?"

"A wordy tattoo on a bruised body. I wasn't going to forget that in a hurry. Something about being strong."

Ste lifted his shirt and turned to his side. The tattooist grinned in recognition as Ste covered his tattoo up once again.

"Yeah." The tattooist said. "You looked like you'd been in a serious fight."

"Maybe." Ste said quickly. "Anyway, I've got another job for you today. Something easier I think."

He made his request.

"Park up then." The tattooist smiled.

Ste sat on the couch and slowly took the t-shirt he had borrowed from Doug off. He lay back and gripped the arms of the chair hard as he closed his eyes.

{~}

His next stop was a phone shop. Within ten minutes he was out again with his purchase.

Then, the barbers. Since starting his escorting business he had kept a stylised short back and sides, a contrast to the floppy 'homemade' bowl cut he had growing up. From boyish to twinkalicious.

Now he wanted a different look. Something bold and fierce. Something that let the world know that he was no pushover. Something to remind himself that he was closing one chapter in his life and opening another.

While the barber dusted stray brown hair off him Ste looked at himself in the mirror with a steady gaze.

{~}

"Good afternoon, Ted." Brendan said speaking into his phone.

"Brendan! It's good to hear from you." The old man replied enthusiastically.

"I wanted to apologise once again for leaving so abruptly yesterday."

"Not at all. I understand. How did you enjoy the art exhibition?"

"Very much." He lied.

"I'm glad to hear it. It was good to see you out of the office. In fact I was wondering what you are doing this weekend?"

"Mind if I ask why?"

"I am inviting a few people to our countryside home. The whole thing will end with a special luncheon on Sunday. I was hoping you would be free to come up and join us."

"For the whole weekend?"

"Yes."

Brendan groaned internally. Ted Kilner and co. weren't bad people but he didn't do socialising at the best of times. And yet he knew the importance of buttering the old man up to clinch the deal.

So he said, "I did have something on," which he didn't, "but..."

"You might want to cancel whatever it was. I was planning to make you our guest of honour."

Brendan sat up straight behind his desk and held his phone firmly. "I'm listening."

"I am an old man, Brendan. I don't make decisions as quickly and impulsively as I used to but you have impressed me, young man. You come across as someone of good character. No nonsense but fair. A bit like me when I was younger." Kilner chuckled. "So I am seriously considering your offer."

"That's music to my ears, Ted."

"I think come Sunday I will have consolidated whether to accept it or not."

"Right."

_Sentimental git. How will seeing me make a difference?_

"Feel free to bring a plus one."

"Excuse me?"

"A partner? Is that the term? Boyfriend? I'm not sure. In my day there wasn't a word for it."

"What are you talking about?"

"Or are you single?"

_Fuck. Is the old man hitting on me?_

"I know that you are a homosexual, Brendan. It's hardly a secret. I am, as they say, open-minded."

_Oh my God._

"I have never made the fact that I am gay a secret." Brendan replied coolly. "I just choose not to parade it at every opportunity. But, make no mistake, Ted, I am not ashamed."

"Well good. You shouldn't be. My son certainly isn't. In fact, he has expressed a keen interest in you."

_Fredrick is gay? That one slipped by me. Is Kilner senior trying to pimp his own son out to me? _

_Hell no._

"So if you're single..." The other man said.

"I'm not." It was out before Brendan could stop himself. "I'm seeing someone."

There was a pause. "Right. Well, that makes sense. I told Freddy that the chance was slim to none that you were on the free market."

The old man wheezed out a laugh so Brendan was obliged to laugh along.

"We will be happy to welcome both you and your boyfriend in our home."

_Shit. _

"Thank you. He may not be able to make it actually." _Because he doesn't exist._

Boyfriend.

So twee. So unnecessary. So made up.

"I won't take no for an answer. I'm sure you'll agree that family and loved ones are important so I'll see you both tomorrow."

_Fuck_.

Ted Kilner put the phone down without further ado.

Brendan pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb as he felt a tension build up behind his eyes.

"You okay, boss?"

He looked up to see Paul standing in the door holding his lunch in a rustic looking brown paper bag with a logo of the_ Coffee Hut_ on it.

"Yes." He took his lunch from his assistant. "Did you hear any of that?"

Paul shook his head. "Just walked in."

Brendan studied the lad. Nice enough looking. Good manners. Smart. Could put up with his shit.

Paul could make a decent fake boyfriend if he wasn't Brendan's assistant and straighter than a ruler. Asking Paul would be well outside the PA's job description.

Brendan bit into his roll. "What's this?"

"Philadelphia cheesesteak. The guy behind the counter recommended it. He said it was his mother's recipe."

"He was American?"

Brendan remembered reading on the artist biography at the art exhibition that Doug, the painter that Caden had called his friend yesterday, was from Philadelphia.

"Sounded like it."

"Was he the owner?"

"No. The owner flits between the café and an art gallery that he also owns just down the road. The guy who served me works between the two businesses too."

"What was his name?"

"The owner or the waiter?"

"Both."

"The waiter is Doug." Paul looked satisfied with himself. "I read his name badge. Don't know about the owner."

That was the artist's name. Fredrick Kilner had said,

'_Doug Carter. O__ne hell of a talent, Brendan. Abstract. Oil on Canvas. Visceral stuff. Digs a hole into your chest and tears your heart out.'_

_Bingo._

"Do you know him?" Paul asked curiously.

"Vaguely. He was one of the artists exhibiting last night."

"He obviously hasn't hit the big time if he's still juggling two jobs."

Brendan took another bite out of his sandwich. It was a comfort hug, a tender kiss and heart attack in a roll.

"Guess not."

{~}

"Amy!" Ste called out as he stepped into his house.

"Upstairs!" She called back.

She was full of smiles until she saw him properly as he walked into her room moments later.

"What have you done to your hair?"

He run his hand self-consciously over his shorter hair cut. "Cut it off."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "Fancied a change."

_Part of a new beginning. Post reality check. You wouldn't understand._

"Do you like it?"

"It makes you look tougher, I think. It'll grow on me." She smiled. "Doug said you were exhausted after your shift at the wine bar last night so you stayed at his."

"Yeah. Sorry I didn't come home."

"Don't be silly. It made sense to stay in town."

"Were the kids alright?"

"Yeah. Ann is amazing with them. Maybe we got the Campbell's wrong. When I got to their place the kids were already asleep so Phil helped me carry them home and put them to bed."

"He was probably snooping around for more clues about us."

"It's not cool to be sceptical, Steven."

That is when Ste noticed the pile of parcels and packages that covered her bed sheets.

"What's all this then?"

"They're yours." She said. "I went to the post office this morning to close your P.O. Box since you have avoided going yourself. It was chock full of these. Go on. Open them."

Ste felt his heart in his mouth as panic set in.

"Maybe later."

"Don't worry. There are no random letters." Amy said. "I think they are from the _Dirty D_."

Ste looked at them apprehensively.

Amy smiled. "I've always wondered what someone gives a rent boy as a farewell present."

She winked at Ste who playfully shoved her shoulder.

"Fuck off!"

"Probably dildos and mouth gags." Amy said. "Or butt plugs."

"Amy!"

"I'm just saying."

He tentatively opened present after present. There were no gifts from Kevin or the men that he had introduced Ste to; Trevor, Charles and Tom. No surprises.

The others, however, sent gifts that reflected the men they were. Leather driving gloves from classy Franco. A generic if expensive bottle of wine from dull Stanley. An embossed wallet and a designer satchel from extravagant Farid. A pair of engraved cuff links from debonair James. Hand cuffs from kinky Chris.

"Wow." Amy commented.

Sentimental Dan and Dave had given him a top of the range camera with a memory stick of pictures of them.

Playful Noah sent him a dildo with a hand written graphic user leaflet.

Amy brought her hands up to her face. "Oh my God. Put it away!"

Ste inspected the silicone phallus. He recognised the shape straight away. "It's actually his."

"Noah sent you a cast of his penis?" She clarified.

"Yeah. I think so."

"He's mental, int'he? Doug would love that. He's crazy for Noah."

"Yeah. Might give it him for his birthday."

They smiled at each other.

"This is going to sound weird but do you miss it? The escorting?" She asked. "It's been nearly a month now."

"No, not really." He said truthfully. "I'll miss some of the guys a bit more than others but none of them got to know the real me. I couldn't be me with them, you know."

_Except with him. I was always me with him but he didn't buy it._

'_You can drop the act now, Caden. You were great, okay. Your service is second to none. You live up to your own hype.'_

"Yeah. True, but now you can get back out there and start dating. Meet someone nice."

"I don't know."

"Why? You're a right romantic, Ste. You'd make a great boyfriend."

"No one will have me now, Ames." He said tightly, voicing a latent fear.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean no one decent will stick around once they find out about what I've done."

"For one thing, they don't need to know. Lee doesn't know about everyone I slept with before him and I don't know about every woman he's been with."

"That's because you were probably his first, bless him."

"That's not funny. Anyway. If you do decide to tell your future boyfriend about your escorting and he can't accept and move on from it then he's not worth your time."

Ste wanted to confess all to Amy right then; how he had hoped that Brendan would see the man he truly was but the Irishman had actually seen him as a whore for hire just like Ste's other clients.

"Anyway these gifts are nice, aren't they?" He said looking down at his presents to avoid eye contact with her. He didn't want her to pick up on his desolation.

"They are lovely, Ste. Well except for the Dildo and the hand cuffs!"

_I can pawn the lot off, _Ste thought_. That'll get us some money to help towards next month's bills and rent along with the cash Brendan gave me. _

_Then I can concentrate on a permanent solution to our financial problems._

"Did I get any other post?" He asked.

"No, sorry." Amy knew he was referring to news on potential mainstream jobs. "Not yet... but soon."

{~}

Brendan spent most of his Fridays in. He had never been the most sociable of creatures but over the last few months he had become a downright hermit. He would find any excuse under the sun to avoid going out for a pint or dinner with mates or hanging out with his sister or taking a trip across the Irish Sea to visit his parents.

Tonight after a long day, he got home to a tidy apartment. Mary had been. She left a note on the white blemish-free couch.

_I am going to assume the eyeglasses worked on your 'friend'_._ See you next week._

Brendan smirked. Mary wasn't slow. She had put two and two together.

He put some Motown music on. He took his suit jacket off, loosened his tie, undid the top button on his shirt and rolled up his sleeves. Then he sat down with a bottle of whiskey and a glass.

Half the bottle was gone quicker than he had intended while he thought about a way to get out of the weekend at Kilner's place. Failing that he had to make up some excuse for not being able to bring his 'partner'.

There was a third option. The most dangerous one. He could find someone to act like his other half all in the name of sealing the deal on the _Kilner Shipping_ property. The list of potential candidates wasn't long.

Walker was too abrasive and Kilner already knew him which could complicate matters.

Paul he had already rejected as a possibility.

Brendan had a few friends that he saw once in a blue moon. Darren was probably the best bet but that wasn't saying much. He was blond, good-looking and confident bordering on cocky but he was also happily married with a wife who was pregnant with their first child.

The truth was that even as he had spouted that bullshit about being in a relationship to Ted Kilner the first person to come to mind had been Caden.

_21 years old. Slim but toned. Friendly. A bit shy. A bit naughty. Very discreet... Professional. Satisfaction 100% guaranteed._

Caden's profile had concisely defined the escort. Apart from his occasional moodiness he had been nothing less than professional and discreet. He had satisfied and more. He had been amazing and Brendan had been an arsehole to him at the end of their last encounter.

With liquor running through his veins Brendan saw sense in using the escort as his plus one. He was sure that the lad would be able to fake being his boyfriend. He was excellent at everything he had done with or to Brendan thus far.

The problem was that there were many reasons why hiring him for the job was a bad idea; practically, socially and emotionally.

Not that the option was relevant since Brendan had no way to contact the escort.

He kicked off his shoes and lay on the couch. Just as his eyes closed his phone rang.

He fumbled into his pocket.

"Hello." He said.

"Finally!" Cheryl said. "You're alive!"

"Hi sis. You again."

"If you actually answered my calls once in a while I would stop assuming the worst and stop bombarding you with calls."

"Really?"

"No! That's what family does, Bren. We care. I'm really starting to worry about you, you know."

"There is nothing to worry about. I'm great."

"You're slurring your words."

"I'm not." He said carefully.

"I'm coming over."

"Chez. There is no point. I'm-"

His phone started beeping indicating another incoming call. He didn't recognise the mobile number. He didn't take anonymous calls but this one provided a great excuse to end his conversation with his sister.

"I've got work on the other line." He said feigning disappointment.

"At ten o'clock on a Friday night? Tell them to piss off."

"That's not how it works. Sorry. Bye." He ended their call and answered the other line. "Hello."

"Brendan?"

If he hadn't been lying down, Brendan was sure that he would have stumbled in surprise.

"Brendan?"

"Yes."

"It's Caden."

"Caden, hi." Brendan was smiling. "I didn't think I'd ever hear from you again. I don't have your numbers anymore, I mean, number, or your e-mail address."

_Shit. Chez was right. I am slurring._

"I'm sorry to call you at this time of night." Caden said. "I wanted to give you my new mobile number. I'm not going to operate online anymore and I've changed all my previous contact details."

"Why?" Brendan sat up to sober up.

"Let's just say that not everyone is a fan of mine."

"Have you been getting threats?"

"It doesn't matter. I want you to know that last night, my behaviour at the end... it won't happen again. I was tired." Caden's voice then mellowed, lowered and deepened. "I am here whenever you need me, Brendan."

"Who else have you given this number to?"

Concern? Jealousy? Brendan didn't know which it was. Maybe both.

"My elite clients only."

Caden didn't sound the same. He sounded hollow. Devoid of emotion. Not at all how Brendan remembered him.

"Do you want to know, Brendan? I'll tell you if you want."

The question reminded Brendan of when he was a young boy and his best friend had asked him whether he wanted to see and have a poke at the dead bird he had found in the woods.

Yes but no but yes but no thanks.

Caden must have taken Brendan's silence as a yes.

"Seven men. Eight once I tell you. I-"

_He sleeps with other guys. He lets them touch him and kiss him..._

"I don't want to know about them."

The emotion was jealousy. Brendan shut his eyes against the visual of Caden with seven men simultaneously pawing at him.

Did he respond to them the way he responded to Brendan? These elite men.

It turned the Irishman's stomach just thinking about it.

"Okay." Caden said softly.

Brendan took a deep breath. "I was hoping you were free this weekend. You remember the people I was with last night?"

"The Kilners."

"Yes. You know them?"

_Because this is a shit idea if you do._

"No but they were pointed out to me by my friend."

Brendan relaxed. "They have invited me to their home."

"When?"

"Tomorrow until Sunday afternoon."

Brendan could hear shuffling. Caden was moving around wherever he was. "You want me for the whole weekend?"

Brendan cleared his throat. "Yes."

"That's going to be £2500."

Wow. Okay. Caden was being all business.

"I'll need some role-playing too." Brendan said just as business-like. Two could play that game. "I need you to act like my boyfriend. I want you to behave like you really care about me."

"Like I love you." Caden said so quietly Brendan barely heard him.

"Yes."

"For it to work you'll need to pretend you like me too." The escort said.

"I don't need to pretend." Brendan said truthfully. There was silence at the end of the line so he continued, "So you think you can do that?"

After a long pause, Caden's voice was sultry, "Yeah. This is what I do for a living, Brendan. You won't be disappointed. Where do you want to meet?"

{~}

Ste had told himself that he wouldn't get emotional and yet the minute he got off the phone to Brendan he burst into tears.

_God, I am a complete wreck_.

He had done it though. He had finally acknowledged what he should have grasped a while ago; that this was the best he could hope for.

He was an escort. A hustler. Rent-boy. Trick. Prostitute. Gigolo. Whore. Trade.

It may not have been what he wanted out of his life but it was what put food on the table and what he excelled in.

Now he had to accept it.

He kept pacing the kitchen as he looked down at the list of names and numbers of the other seven clients he intended to call. They were the Dirty Dozen minus Kevin and his three cronies.

Ste had lied to Brendan. The Irishman had not been the last man Ste called with his new number.

Brendan had been the first.


	11. Edward

**Sorry this took so long, folks.**

**Here you go. Next shouldn't take forever... (I hope)**

**Chips**

**P.S. This Chapter is rated M for you know what...**

**x**

{~}

Ste looked down at the list of names and numbers of the other seven clients he intended to call. They were the Dirty Dozen minus Kevin and his three cronies.

He had lied to Brendan. The Irishman had not been the last man Ste had called with his new number. Brendan had been the first and the thought of making any more calls to his other seven clients at the minute was unpalatable.

Ste had found the conversation with the Irishman more difficult than he had expected. Not for the reasons one might expect like feeling he was regressing rather than moving forward. It had been difficult because talking to Brendan had felt nostalgic and familiar, like trying to recapture something beautiful that had been lost.

Crazy that.

Mad.

Stupid.

It wasn't worth feeling any emotions for Brendan, positive or negative. There was no room for sentimentality. This period in their lives, where their paths were intertwining, was going to see an end. It wasn't going to be like Pretty Woman where client falls in love with prostitute. There would be no happily ever after.

Ste was determined to remain professional with Brendan this weekend. He had to deliver on his promise to his client that he would do his job right.

He crept up to Amy's room quietly so as not to wake up their children.

Her lights were off when he opened the door. "Ames?"

"Yep." She said groggily. She sat up and put the side light on. "What time is it? Are the kids okay?"

"Yeah. They're asleep. Sorry I didn't mean to wake you up." He took a deep breath and run his hand through his hair. "I couldn't sleep. My mind's all over the place."

"I know." She said kindly. "I'm not surprised. There's been a lot of stuff lately."

"Yeah. So basically I was thinking about getting away for the weekend. Clear my head."

"Where?"

"To see Fletch." Ste came up with the name of an old school friend. "Only if you are okay having the kids."

"You make it sound like a chore." Amy smiled tiredly and flopped back into bed. "I think that's a great idea, Ste. Have fun."

{~}

Brendan drove to the Kilner's house alone. Caden had rejected his offer of a lift which was hardly surprising. The escort was breaking one of his golden rules by taking this weekend call out. The country house was neither in Liverpool or Chester so Caden probably wanted the comfort of knowing he had an independent means of escape.

The house was located within an impressive estate; a large symmetrical vision of Georgian manor architecture situated in a picturesque English rural setting with vast acres of land that belonged to it. Stables, a lake and woodland broke the scenery.

His SUV drew to a stop in front of the house at the end of a long drive.

He was greeted by a member of the house's staff who introduced himself as Thomas.

"Mr Brady. A pleasure."

Polite. Effusive. Fit.

"If you don't mind, I'll take your car keys and park your car for you. Someone will bring your belongings up to your room. Mr and Mrs Kilner are waiting for you in the rose garden at the back."

Brendan looked down at the shirt, jeans and boat shoes he was wearing. Driving clothes.

"It's a casual affair." Thomas said, reading his mind. "Your partner...?"

"Is on his way." Brendan finished the sentence for him. "He'll be here in time for lunch."

"Very well. Let me lead the way."

He led Brendan through the entrance hall and out the other end into a well-tended English country garden complete with flowers in full bloom, nude statues and pond fountains.

A group of about twenty people were milling around eating canapés and sipping drinks. He recognised Ted, Victoria and Fredrick Kilner among them.

Given the way Freddy was looking at him Brendan hoped Caden came soon. He couldn't be dealing with the unrestrained crush of the man.

"Brendan!" Ted Kilner's wife, Victoria, exclaimed joyfully. She approached him with her husband and son. "Welcome. We are so happy you could make it out here for the weekend."

Brendan smiled politely. "Thank you for inviting me. Your home is stunning."

He firmly shook Ted's hand. He kissed Victoria once on each cheek and his effort at a handshake with Freddy ended up being a hug that lasted long enough for him to feel violated.

"The weather has been kind to us, Brendan. It shows the place in a particularly good light." Ted said. "Where is your better half?"

"Boyfriend, darling." His wife corrected. "He's called a boyfriend."

Brendan cringed at the term. "He's on his way. He had something to do in Chester this morning. He may have tried to call me."

What if Caden bailed on him? He checked his phone and noticed that it had no reception.

Ted smiled. "We're in the country here. the only bit of reception we get for mobiles is in a particular spot in the living room."

Brendan nearly had a heart attack. He couldn't function without his phone.

"I didn't catch his name." Ted said curiously.

"Who?" He said distractedly.

"Your boyfriend."

"Oh."

"Teddy, you have all weekend to interrogate the young man." Victoria admonished. "Why don't you offer Brendan a drink and introduce him to everyone first."

"Very well." Ted got the attention of the gathered guests. "Folks, you all know of Brendan Brady, the man who owns most of Chester... and the half of Liverpool that I don't own."

There was a ripple of laughter.

"As you know his expertise is turning land into cash and he hopes to do the same with the Kilner shipping property. Brendan, these are my nearest and dearest at Kilner Enterprises and their partners and spouses. You may recognise one or two of them from our first meeting. I'll walk you round and introduce you individually but let's not be too formal here. Folks, this weekend is a chance to kick back and relax. As always our house is your house. Feel free to use our gardens, the pool, horses and the lake if you wish. Thomas and Naomi will be of assistance if you require anything."

"We will be sitting for a long lunch in an hour. I hope you have come with empty stomachs!" Victoria added. "Until then please make yourselves at home."

Brendan felt like a prized bull as he was taken around and displayed to the guests. He had never enjoyed socialising but here he was gaining information as he went along. He played at being affable; rubbing shoulders, complimenting, flirting innocently with the women and having belly laughs with the men.

The guests were close to the hosts in a way that was totally foreign to him. It was clear, from Ted's interaction with his employees, that this sort of get together was not an unusual occurrence. Kilner practiced what he preached. Family and friends were dear to him. In contrast Brendan kept his own family and employees at arm's length. His own right hand man, Phil Campbell, had never been round to his home.

That was why Kilner had invited him over for the weekend, he realised. This was the deeper agenda. The old man wanted to know whether Brendan shared his values. Brendan had to prove himself a loyal 'family man' in order to be considered as a buyer of the waterfront property in Liverpool.

The champagne was helping. He was surprising himself by how congenial he was being.

"Brendan, is that young man over there someone you know?" Victoria asked with a soft knowing smile. "The one staring at you?"

His eyes joined hers in looking at Caden as he stood in the doorway that led to the house.

He was here. He hadn't bailed. Thank goodness.

Brendan shoulders relaxed.

The escort's hesitant demeanour was juxtaposed against his bold new look. It made him look older. Cooler. It was his hair. It was short all over. Not thug short just trimmed back. No fuss. Efficient.

He gave the lad an encouraging smile. Caden returned it and stood up straighter in the doorway.

"Go. I can see that you are dying to catch up with each other." Victoria said.

_What gives you that idea?_ Brendan thought. "I'll bring him over. Please excuse me."

He didn't wait for a reply. He couldn't take his eyes off the escort as he walked towards him.

The lad's slim body was covered by a short sleeved untucked white shirt and knee length beige cotton shorts. Tennis shoes and aviator sunglasses completed his outfit. Crisp and fresh. Perfect for the occasion.

Brendan drew to a stop in front of him, close enough to feel Caden's body heat and smell his aftershave.

Caden smiled slowly and for a second Brendan thought the escort looked as if he had missed him. Just for a second. What a good actor, Brendan thought as his bigger frame shielded Caden from the garden.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." Caden returned.

Brendan grinned. "Is there a reason why you are standing here all alone?"

"I just got here and…" Caden glanced around Brendan to see the other guests. He looked relieved when he said, "I don't know anyone, do I?"

"You know me."

"Yeah." There was that smile of his again. The one that made Brendan smile back and want to do things to the lad that weren't for public eyes.

"Yeah. True. Look, sorry I'm late. Every country road looks the same."

Brendan. "You got lost?"

"No!"

Brendan lifted an eyebrow.

"Okay. Maybe a bit." Caden replied. "I don't do the countryside. It's basically grass, trees, cows and shit smells in the middle of nowhere. Then I got stuck behind one of them tractors, you know the ones that go at, like, ten miles an hour. So really it wasn't my fault that …"

Brendan wasn't listening. Not really. He was too busy thinking about how Caden looked cute in his yuppie get up. Then he thought that actually Caden looked good in everything he wore. Then he thought that Caden looked even better when he was wearing little or nothing.

Brendan took the escort's sunglasses off him so that he could get a good look at his clear blue eyes under their fan of lashes.

Caden stopped talking and looked up at him in confusion.

Brendan placed a light kiss on his lips before he could stop himself.

Caden looked completely shocked.

Brendan was just as surprised at himself. He had never kissed another man in public before. It had come out of the blue; not premeditated and not half bad. Not at all. It wasn't as enjoyable as one of their full on kisses but it provided a decent appetiser for what was to come.

His hand played over Caden's hair; a single stroke from his forehead backwards. His hair felt softer than it looked; bending under the pressure of Brendan's fingers to expose the skin underneath only to spring back as his hand continued its journey down.

"New haircut?" Brendan asked as his hand continued its journey down the nape of the lad's neck and then pulled away.

_Enough. No more pawing the 'boyfriend'. Not now anyway._

Caden self-consciously touched his own head. "Yeah. Fancied a change."

"Looks good." He waved his hand in Caden's general direction. "The whole thing."

Caden cleared his throat, snatched his sunglasses off Brendan and hastily put them back on.

"Thanks. I thought I'd go for something preppy, you know, given the company. So I was also thinking on the drive over..."

"When you weren't getting lost..."

Ste smiled... "Yeah. That. I just wanted to make sure I got something straight. When you said you wanted the boyfriend experience you meant …"

"It's to convince these guys." Brendan pointed behind him at the garden.

If he hadn't been looking at Caden's face so intently he would have missed the slow blink and the tick that went off in the lad's cheek. It was quickly replaced by a steady neutral gaze.

"Thought so. Yeah. It wasn't for you."

"No. I need you play the part for their benefit."

"It's for business, innit?"

"Yes."

"What are you trying to get from the Kilners?"

"What makes you think that I am the one that wants something?"

"Because you are trying to prove yourself by being someone you aren't. Someone with a boyfriend."

Brendan had underestimated Caden's intelligence. During their previous encounters he had been too distracted by his body.

"Not just any boyfriend, Caden. The doting kind. The long-term committed kind." Brendan was calculating what Kilner wanted to see. "Do you think you can fake that?"

There was a pause before the quiet reply. "Yes. I'm yours for the weekend. As long as you pay me I'll do what you want."

It was as if Caden had dropped his mask to expose the demon underneath. This soulless, cynical, money-orientated shell of a creature was the true man not the playful, solid, funny, young, coy guy who had acted indignant when Brendan mentioned cash and sex in the same breath.

"The money is yours."

Brendan studied the lad. How could he not have seen it sooner? Caden had an angel's face and body but a whore's soul. A slut's tongue. A greedy calculating brain. That was who Caden really was.

Brendan couldn't keep the disappointment out of his tone when he asked,

"Is that what makes you tick, Caden? Money?"

"Isn't that what makes you tick?" Caden whispered. "That's why you asked me to come here, int'it?"

Brendan couldn't argue with that. He lived and breathed his work at the expense of pretty much everything else. That is how he earned a shit load of money. But he had figured Caden was different; fresh and (the irony wasn't lost on him given Caden's profession) untarnished. Not jaded, the way he was.

"Yes." He said, then added harshly, "And to fuck you for a fee of course."

Caden dropped his gaze to study his feet. He took a deep breath then looked Brendan square in the eye.

"So this is the story. We've known each other a few years but vaguely. Friends of friends. Then a few months ago we got closer. You took me out to a steakhouse but refused to call it a date when it clearly was. That night we realised that there was something more between us and the rest is history."

"Are you referring to our meal in Liverpool?"

"Lies are easier to keep straight if they are based in reality." Caden paused for breath. "Do you want to use terms of endearment? 'Baby', 'babes', 'sunshine'… 'treacle'?"

Caden responded to Brendan's look of horror with a slight smile, "It's what couple's do."

"Treacle? Jesus. Do I look like someone you would call 'treacle'?"

"Maybe something else."

"Or maybe nothing else." Brendan leaked a smile. "Brendan's fine."

"Okay." Caden's grin broadened.

The lad might be a money hungry whore but Brendan still found him hard to resist.

There was a lash on his cheek. It could have been left well alone. It wasn't offending anyone but it provided Brendan with a perfect excuse to slowly brush his thumb against the lad's smooth skin to dislodge it. Just so he could touch him.

_Stop acting like some needy pervert._

Caden whispered. "So. Um. The touching thing is good but don't overdo it. People get uncomfortable with PDA so they definitely won't want to see gay PDA."

Brendan dropped his hand. "You had a lash on your cheek…"

"Oh. Sorry. It's just. I thought you were..."

"… And I used it as an excuse to touch you." Brendan said honestly.

Caden grinned slightly. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Be 100% honest." The escort took Brendan's hand in his. He curled their fingers together. "'I say what I mean and I mean what I say. No bullshit'." Caden quoted Brendan, imitating his accent perfectly.

"Was that supposed to be me?" Brendan tried to hold back his smile.

"Yes."

"I don't sound like that."

"You do a bit. Anyway, it's good. Your honesty. People know where they stand with you." Caden brought Brendan's hand up to his lips and kissed his knuckles. " And maybe a little PDA isn't a bad thing."

{~}

Lunch was surreal. The English countryside setting brought to mind period dramas where women flitted around with heaving bosoms and breathy voices while straight laced men walked around in breeches and top hats and talked in stilted tones confined by social etiquette.

Ste and Brendan were sitting at a table with the Kilners and two other couples. The conversation was flowing surprisingly easily. It steered clear of controversial (sex, politics and religion) and dull (work) subjects and remained light and breezy; frivolous. Holiday destinations. Hobbies. Zany family members. Funny anecdotes.

It gave Ste no better insight into Brendan's background.

_It's irrelevant_, he reminded himself.

What was relevant was that he was doing his job properly; that the Kilners liked him. They engaged Ste in every bit of conversation, laughed at his jokes and listened to what he had to say.

Ste hoped he was nailing his role as boyfriend.

He looked at Brendan, who was sitting by his side, as their plates were taken away after their main course. This was his first time seeing Brendan interact with other people for a protracted period of time. He was relatively quiet but his presence was commanding so that whenever he opened his mouth everyone at their table stopped what they were doing to pay attention to what he was saying.

There was something unbelievably sexy and appealing about that.

"Caden?" Brendan nudged him with a smile on his face.

"Yeah?"

"Victoria was asking if you ride."

"Horses?" He said, embarrassed that he had been caught daydreaming and staring at Brendan.

Everyone at the table nodded.

"Oh. No. I'm a city boy, me. Never been near one."

"Well then you should try while we are here. We have a couple of training horses you can go on." Ted offered.

Caden tried to hide his fear over the thought of getting anywhere near one of those creatures. He felt Brendan's soothing hand on his thigh under the table.

"I think we'll give it a miss and stick to the pool or rambling." Brendan said.

"Yeah." He agreed.

"You're missing out." Ted said with a smile.

"Now tell me, Caden, how do you handle the fact that you don't see much of this man?" Victoria asked indicating Brendan. "I've heard he works even longer hours than Ted used to."

"I wasn't a workaholic, darling." Ted said.

"Yes you were." Victoria replied.

"Um." Ste straightened up in his chair, took a sip of his wine and then gave them all a conspiratorial smile. "Isn't that the best case scenario? We don't see each other much which means we don't have time to get bored with each other or get into fights and then he buys me amazing presents to make up for it. It's a win-win situation!"

The group laughed in agreement and recognition. Brendan's laugh was less free flowing than the others.

Was he offended by Ste's joke?

Ste hadn't been serious about it. It wasn't what he _really_ thought. Ste couldn't give a shit about presents and luxury trimmings. As long as he had enough to live comfortably with the people he loved around him he would be a happy man.

"I'm joking, obviously." He said to Brendan and smiled softly.

Brendan's eyes were unwavering.

"The truth is even though Brendan works really hard he always makes sure we make time to be together. It a priority for both of us."

He linked their hands on the table and looked back at Victoria.

"This is going to sound corny but we make time and make that time count." He said. "It's what you do if you're in love with someone, int'it?"

"Aw." Victoria clasped her chest. "Who said romance is dead?"

One of the other women at the table quipped. "I'd still prefer the present!" which gained a raucous laugh from everyone.

"She got a car last week just because I was away for a month!" Her husband groaned.

Through the merriment Ste was sure he felt Brendan give his fingers a squeeze. They parted only to pick up their spoons when dessert came.

{~}

After lunch was over Caden was ambushed by Victoria into checking the stables to,

'Get over your fear of man's real best friend, darling'.

Ted took a group of male employees including his son and Brendan on a walk of the estate to,

'Walk off that mammoth lunch, fellas'.

Declining in favour of being with Caden was not an option.

"I think we are far enough away, gentlemen. Let's stop for a second." Ted said when the house was a small white speck on the horizon.

He looked at the men surrounding him before delving into his pockets. Out came a small leather case and a lighter. He opened the case to reveal seven fat Cuban cigars and looked at the men with a glint in his eye.

He passed them around and said, "Don't tell Vicky especially you Freddy. As far as she's concerned I quit six months ago!"

Ted made quick work, with the help of his son, of cutting the rounded ends and lighting up.

Tobacco wasn't really Brendan's thing but when in Rome…

He had a puff and then indicated that he liked it while blowing out smoke.

"I know." Ted said sombrely. "Heaven on Earth."

There was silence as the group of men stood in a circle, smoked and enjoyed the nature that surrounded them.

Eventually Ted spoke.

"I won't lie, Brendan. I can't say Caden made a whole load of sense to me. Scrawny fellow. Young. It didn't fit."

"I agree dad." Freddy chipped in.

Brendan coughed and spluttered and not because the strong smoke had filtered down into his lungs.

What. The. Fuck.

"Okay. I'm sorry to hear that is how you feel but…"

"I haven't finished. But having spoken to the young man he is a delight. Solid as they come, my friend. That is a good man with good values. You hold onto him, you hear me?" Ted said.

"I will." Brendan's heart was beating fast.

"How old is he anyway?" Freddy asked caustically. "He looks like he has just finished school if he even finished school."

"Don't be rude, Freddy. Your mother was just out of her teens when I married her. I was pushing forty." Ted said sharply to his son. "Age is irrelevant."

He turned back to Brendan who was feeling distinctly under the spot light.

"There is a knack to it, Brendan. Making a relationship go the distance. It is about compromise. Am I right, gentlemen?"

The other men nodded with varied degrees of enthusiasm.

"You don't just have to love each other. You have to _like_ each other and keep finding things that you find attractive in the other person. You have to like the imperfections as well as what is perfect. Do you understand me?"

_What the fuck? Where is all this coming from? _Brendan thought uncomfortably.

"Life is hard enough as it is, Brendan. You want to make sure you make your journey through it with a companion. That's what I always say."

There was a murmur of agreement.

"One last thing, how long have you been together again?"

"Six months." Brendan's toes curled at the lie. "Officially."

"Start as you mean to go on. Make a gesture to show that you care every day. Big or small it doesn't matter but it will matter to him. It will prove that you are thinking about him and he will appreciate it." Ted waved his cigar around vaguely.

Brendan tried to make light of Ted Kilner's advice. "Didn't know you were a relationship counsellor, Ted!"

"It's the cigar in my hand. It makes me a wise old man."

{~}

By the time Brendan got back to the house it was after seven o'clock. The Kilners and their guests convened in one of the reception rooms. Caden wasn't there. He had been the only part of the day that Brendan had really enjoyed. His absence over the last three hours had been felt.

Talk turned to going for a swim in the indoor pool.

"You coming, Brendan?" Fredrick asked.

"I was wondering whether anyone has seen Caden." Brendan said, dismissing Ted's son.

"The poor man developed a vicious headache." Victoria said sympathetically. "I take the blame. I shouldn't have shown him the horses. He took himself straight to bed when we got back."

"I think I'll go up and check on him." Brendan said.

"Then come join us at the pool." Fredrick said hopefully.

"I might call it a day actually. I've had a long week and I don't think I'll be good company as tired as I am."

He had had enough. He wanted to spend a little time with Caden then he wanted to collapse into their bed like a felled tree since he felt shattered by lack of sleep and a day of forced talking, smiling and trying not to piss anyone off.

Victoria smiled, "I understand. You have a far more appealing prospect upstairs. We won't take offence!"

Brendan ignored the knowing looks and followed Thomas up to his room. Sex and intimacy was the last thing on his mind. All he needed was some shut eye. Perhaps tomorrow he would feel differently.

They stopped in front of a heavy closed mahogany door.

"I shan't come in and disturb you, Mr Brady. I brought your partner some water and paracetamol on Mrs Kilner's request earlier. Your belongings are on the ottoman at the foot of the bed."

"Thank you."

"Please call me if you need anything. There is no formal supper tonight but I would be happy to make you something if you wish. Just ring 'one' on the phone."

"I'll ask Caden if he's awake and let you know if he wants something."

_God, I am sounding like a twat in a proper relationship._

"Very well. Good evening, Mr Brady."

Brendan stepped into the bedroom.

It took a moment to take it all in.

It was as if the Georgian period interior design had vomited all over it. The décor of the room remained almost too faithful to the house it belonged to. The wallpaper was busy. The carpet was over intricate and threadbare in places. There was a pair of upholstered carver chairs flanking a small round reading desk, a comfortable looking dark leather wing chair near the fireplace, an opulent low hanging chandelier, an ottoman that currently held their travel bags and Caden's black satchel, an obscenely large intricate gold colour framed mirror that occupied one wall.

The large four poster bed with white draping that was pulled back was Brendan's favourite bit of furniture.

Caden was lying right in the middle of it on his front, legs kicked out, hands tucked under his head. He had gone as far as taking his shoes and shirt off and then must have given up on undressing before falling asleep.

Brendan walked up to him and observed his peaceful expression in sleep; the slightly open mouth, the shadow his lashes cast onto his cheeks, the rise and fall of his chest which seemed to cause the tattoo on his flank to surge periodically.

Brendan wanted to wake him up but he didn't. He got his toothbrush from his travel bag and walked into the adjacent period bathroom. The scene stealer was the large asymmetrical clawfoot white bathtub in the middle of the room with another chandelier over it.

Brendan brushed his teeth clean of cigar smoke and lunch and moved back into the bedroom.

He stripped down to his boxer-briefs while watching Caden and crawled onto the bed careful not to make too much of a ripple in case he woke the man up.

The bed creaked loudly despite his best efforts.

Caden contorted out of sleep with all the grace of a cat slowly stretching itself out. His lean back muscles rippled with his movements. Brendan waited as he slowly turned around to face him.

The Irishman felt a thud in his chest when the escort gave him a gentle smile.

"You're back." Caden said full of sleep.

Brendan nodded as they settled onto their sides facing one another.

"I got lectured by Ted about how to treat you right."

"Huh?" Caden tucked both his hands under a cheek while Brendan bunched up a pillow under his head.

"Nothing. What's this?" Brendan flicked his finger against Caden's left nipple which had a stud piercing through it.

Caden flinched. "Don't. It's still a bit sore."

"When did you get it done?"

"Yesterday. It was impulsive. I might take it out. I'll see how I feel."

"They're supposed to heighten sensation, aren't they?"

Caden rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Maybe."

"Our hosts and all the other guests are still downstairs. They're all going skinny dipping in the pool soon."

Caden grinned. "You're joking."

"The pool bit is true." Brendan smiled.

"Hm." Caden closed his eyes and seemed to go back to sleep; inhaling then exhaling steadily like a human pendulum.

Brendan placed a hand on his waist and rubbed up and down over his warm inked skin. "Hey. You falling asleep on me?"

He tweaked the escort's pierced nipple again.

"No." Caden sighed and opened his eyes again. "Don't."

_Jesus. So intense. Those eyes need to come with a warning_, Brendan thought.

"I heard you had a headache." He shuffled in closer to bring their bodies into contact.

"It's gone now. I think it were the horses. They was neighing and flaring their noses at me. They wanted to trample me, I swear."

"I didn't know you were scared of horses."

"Why would you? It's not like we know much about each other."

It was said without bitterness. It was merely a statement of fact and that bothered Brendan.

"I have a thing about drains."

Caden's eyebrows creased. "Drains?"

"Yeah. The ones on the sides of roads, the open gridded ones that drain rainfall to avoid flooding. Can't look down them."

"Why?"

Brendan smiled wryly. "Monsters."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It was a book I read growing up."

"IT."

Brendan grinned. "Yeah."

"I read it when I was, like, nine. You're a right wuss."

"Oi. I'm a tough man."

Caden grinned broadly. After a moment the smile faded and Brendan thought the escort might be drifting off to sleep again but he wasn't.

He had gone pensive.

"I did okay today, didn't I?"

It took a second to catch his meaning.

"You did better than okay." Brendan said. "They love you."

{~}

Ste breathed a sigh of relief.

"Good."

Brendan touched his cheek. "Why? Did you doubt that they would?"

Sometimes Brendan could be an idiot. "Yeah. Of course. I'm a hooker, Brendan and I'm lying to them. I kept thinking that at any minute they would find out what I was and then they'd reject me and look down on me."

"They'd be stupid if they didn't like you."

"No they wouldn't. They'd be like everybody else. People don't like liars and also who would invite a rent boy round to their country house for a lunch of truffle risotto, venison and champagne soaked summer berries with meringue?"

"Did you like it?"

"The food? Why does that matter?"

"You left most of the meat on your plate."

"It was too gamey for me. And plus..."

"You prefer fish." Brendan finished with a wry smile.

"Exactly." Ste grinned back.

"I meant did you enjoy the day?"

Ste shrugged. "It were okay."

"It was like getting root canal surgery without anaesthetic. You can say it." Brendan played his fingers over Ste's skin, watching as goose pimples lifted off it.

"You cold?" He asked.

Ste shook his head but whispered, "A bit. Yeah."

"Are you still feeling sleepy?"

Brendan hooked his fingers into Ste's beige shorts tickling the hairs of his groin with their tips.

Ste swallowed hard. He knew where this was going.

He shook his head. "No."

He was wide awake now. Especially with Brendan's hand on him.

He placed his in the centre of Brendan's chest and murmured,

"Do you want to…?"

Their eyes connected to convey meaning.

Brendan pushed him onto his back and climbed on top of him. He leaned down towards Ste so that the warm breeze of his breath brushed against Ste's ear as he whispered,

"Do I want to fuck?" He kissed Ste's ear. "Yes."

Brendan gently nibbled his earlobe then sucked on it.

Ste's eyes shut under the ministrations of his mouth.

"Okay."

He moved his head to one side to allow Brendan better access to his neck as the Irishman followed a trail down the angle of his jaw, where his end-of-day peach fuzz was beginning to sprout. Then he worked over the heartbeat in Ste's neck.

Ste wondered how Brendan did that thing with his tongue that made him go legless. It was a mixture of wet heat, suction and ardent tactile caresses.

He brought his arms up to rest on Brendan's shoulders. His hands combed through his hair. Brendan had product in it but it was light; just enough to maintain shape without feeling like concrete.

They kissed.

Brendan's hands were all over him, creeping lower until one slid into the back of Ste's shorts over a bare arse cheek. He gave it a firm squeeze and brought their bodies together.

Ste tucked his face into Brendan's shoulder and wrapped his arms tightly around the man pushing his body up into his.

"You smell of smoke." He said after inhaling deeply.

"Had a cigar with the boys." Brendan mumbled as he undid the button on Ste's shorts.

Ste lifted his hips off the bed to allow Brendan to pull them off with his underwear. That is when he caught his movements in the mirror.

That Ted Kilner was a dirty old dog. The mirror was perfectly positioned to capture the goings-on in the bed.

Ste looked up at Brendan and then at their reflection.

He was naked below the Irishman, embracing him while Brendan lay over him; flush against him, with his black underwear still on.

"Wrap your legs around me." Brendan said.

He watched in fascination as Brendan simulated fucking him. The smooth gyrations of his hips against his butt and the brush of the older man's stomach on his dick were driving Ste crazy. Brendan's cock felt rock hard through the cotton material rubbing against his arse; right over where he wanted Brendan to take him.

He moaned his pleasure and watched his body flush with heat and passion. His mouth gasped with each simulated pummelling. He licked his lips as he took in the reflection of Brendan's body; how it had complete control over his own.

"You like seeing us like this."

"Yes." He groaned as he felt and saw Brendan kiss the sensitive pierced nipple and run his hands over his hair.

Then Brendan pushed Ste's legs up over his shoulders.

"You like watching yourself getting fucked?" He gripped Ste's thighs firmly as anchors and pushed against him powerfully a couple of times. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed in the room as he pushed Ste up the bed with the force of his thrusts. Then he settled back to more languid hip thrusts.

_This is how we look when we are doing it_, Ste thought.

Brendan looked so powerful, bigger than him; like he could break Ste with one hand if he wanted to. Like an animal driven by a primal instinct.

So fucking hot.

"Do you like it fast or slow?" Brendan asked.

Ste watched the mirror as he pushed his hands into Brendan's buttocks to draw him in closer. "Both."

"Look at me." Brendan whispered and forced Ste to turn his head from the mirror to look back up at him.

He was greeted with a kiss that was so deep it took his breath away. He groaned as Brendan's fingers reached his hole to rub it while they kept kissing. He coaxed Brendan's pants down as far as his arms could stretch; just below his buttocks.

Ste felt the firm meat of Brendan's penis nudge against his own balls. He grabbed it and stroked the head then rubbed their dicks together. He shuddered from the sensation.

He wrapped his hand around the taller man's shaft, reacquainting himself with its shape and dimensions. Brendan's head flopped forward to rest forehead against forehead. Their breathing became laboured and they shared air as Ste kept up the pressure.

He couldn't wait for Brendan's cock to be inside him; to make him go crazy.

"Get a condom." He said.

Brendan gave him a grin and a quick kiss. He reached over to the ottoman to grab the necessary from his travel bag taking his underwear off in the process.

Ste sat up, took the condom off Brendan and quickly rolled it onto him.

He gasped in surprise when Brendan then pushed him back onto the bed and brought his legs up. He felt a cool trickle of lube on him and looked back at the mirror as Brendan rubbed it over him. He watched himself get fingered. He felt opposing emotions. He felt wanton. Open. Unself-conscious. Yet a part of him was feeling coy and bashful.

Brendan's fingers pushed in deep and grazed against his prostate. Ste bit back a shout of passion and grabbed the sheets of the bed into fists. Brendan positioned himself between his legs. Ste felt the thick head of Brendan's dick push into him.

He let out a silent, 'Oh my god!', as he was filled completely with one smooth steady push.

He clung onto Brendan for dear life as he adjusted to the fullness.

"Oh!"

Brendan drove into him with slow measured pushes.

"I want you to see how hot you look when I am fucking you." Brendan whispered against his lips.

He repositioned them laying back and encouraging Ste to sit up on him at the same time without pulling out.

"Now turn around to face the mirror." He said as he held Ste's hips. "Easy. Don't want you twisting my dick off!"

He gave Ste a cheeky grin.

Ste carefully manoeuvred himself around, feeling Brendan's cock move inside him as he twisted around. He let his thighs settle either side of Brendan's and leant back so that his hands rested on the bed either side of Brendan's torso.

He looked at his reflection; impaled by his client. His back arched to lift off Brendan's dick only to sit back down on it and engulf it again.

He rode Brendan as if it was the last ride of his life. He got onto his feet to get more leverage. There was something about seeing himself that spurred him on. An extra dimension. He took it all in; his face bearing an expression of pure abandon, his body shining with perspiration, his thighs, abs and arms tensing and flexing, his piercing glowing in the lighting of the room, his cock bouncing rigidly against his stomach, his arse stretched around Brendan's thick cock.

He looked back at Brendan who was staring up at him with a glazed appearance. He dragged his hands up to cover every inch of Ste's chest as Ste continued to ride him. When Brendan's hands rubbed over his nipples the tenderness took backstage to the pleasure and Ste jolted.

"Yes." He groaned as his eyes fell shut and he bit hard on his lower lip.

"Fuck." Brendan forced out and gripped his hips firmly to limit his movements. "Slow down a second."

Ste leisurely rolled his hips back and forth on Brendan's groin. "Like this?"

Brendan sat up. His arms went around Ste and he got them both onto their knees. "Yes. Gissa kiss."

Ste turned his head around to allow their lips to meet. He ground back against Brendan's cock while they kissed feeling the full length of the man in him.

He groaned,

"Feels so good."

"Yeah." Brendan grabbed Ste's dick. "What are we going to do with this?"

He started to stroke it then whispered, "My turn."

Brendan took a firm hold of Ste's hips and rotated his pelvis against him; a delicious motion that got Ste whimpering.

The wet slap of their fucking and their individual sounds reverberated through the room.

Ste came just before Brendan did. Brendan held onto him as they convulsed together. He kissed Ste's shoulders as the lad gasped through his aftershocks.

Brendan pulled out, took off the condom and tied it off before tossing it into a nearby bin.

He lay back down on the bed next to Ste and wiped his brow. "Fuck."

Ste was on his front, facing away from his companion, spent and unable to move. He closed his eyes as he took big deep breaths in and out.

He wanted nothing more than to turn around and be in Brendan's arms. But that was just a symptom of what they had been through not just now but at lunch too.

He was taking this boyfriend thing too seriously.

It wasn't the reality of the situation. He had just had sex with a client because his client fancied it.

He slowly came off his high alone ignoring the tingling that coursed through his body and the sense of completeness he felt.

He stayed still as Brendan's hand traced his body from head to ankle before coming back up to rest on his butt. He felt his arse cheeks part.

"I could fuck you right now." Brendan whispered behind him. "Again."

"You're insatiable." He mumbled back.

"You make me insatiable."

_Whatever. Probably lying_. Ste thought.

"But I'm knackered now so you're spared."

Ste could hear the teasing in Brendan's tone so he turned to face him, "I did most of the work."

Brendan smiled. "You seemed to be enjoying yourself. I didn't want to disturb you." His kiss was playful and light. "Not that I'm complaining. Far from it."

Ste smiled. He couldn't help it. "So what do you want to do now?"

"Did you want something to eat? I could get something brought up."

Ste sat up. He didn't have the greatest of appetites normally but he was really hungry now.

"Like what?"

"What do you fancy?"

"Tuna sandwich." Ste said definitively.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"With sweetcorn, lettuce and lots of mayo, though... on brown bread... no tomatoes. Please."

"I'll join you. Let me give that fit servant of theirs a ring."

He sat on the edge of the bed and picked up the phone.

"You think he's fit?" Ste shuffled up close to him as draped his arms over Brendan's shoulders from behind.

"You jealous?"

Ste pushed off him. "As if. You're welcome to him."

Brendan pulled Ste back to him and swiped his lips against each other. "He's not a patch on you, Caden."

{~}

While Brendan made the phone call to Thomas, Ste went to the bathroom to fill up the bathtub. He poured a generous amount of bubble bath soap into it and watched as the bubbles came up.

He climbed in when there was a decent pool of water but kept the taps on to allow the bath to fill up completely.

Brendan went to the door when they heard a knock. It took longer than necessary for him to collect their food.

Ste heard him speaking to Thomas in hushed tones. Maybe he was chatting up the cute home help.

_'You've got to fucking trust me, Ste! It's not cool. All this sneaking around, spying on me. Acting suspicious of everything I do.'_

He shook his head of those words from his past. He didn't care what Brendan did or with who so he ducked his head into the bath and stayed under for as long as his lungs would allow.

Moments later Brendan entered the bathroom. Ste came out of the water to see Brendan mimicking a waiter. He had laid the tray of sandwiches, wine glasses and white wine on a stand near the bathtub.

He gave Ste a smile and poured the wine into the glasses before taking off his bath towel and climbing into the water.

"God, I hate baths." He grumbled. "They remind me of my childhood. My mother would wash my sister and me in the same water that she and dad had washed in."

_That doesn't sound like the upbringing of someone well off._

"You have a sister?"

"Yes." Brendan didn't look at him as he picked up a sandwich and took a bite out of it. "Eat."

The next half an hour to an hour was spent doing a mixture of eating, kissing, cleaning, talking, petting and touching.

They didn't get anywhere near discussing anything personal again and Ste felt that it was a deliberate move on Brendan's part.

When they got back to bed they were both ready for sleep.

Brendan turned the lights off. After a moment he said into the stillness of the room,

"I would like us to get up early tomorrow."

"Okay. What time?" Ste knew not to ask prying questions like 'why' and 'where are we going'?

"Seven. Out the house at seven thirty."

Ste closed his eyes. "No problem."

There. Civilised. Professional.

Brendan pulled him in closer to him. His arms lightly embraced Ste.

He kissed Ste's wet head and muttered, "Big houses. So fucking cold."

{~}

Ste had reached a realisation.

He wasn't as strong as he thought he was. He thought that he could be one hundred percent professional and detached this weekend. He had assumed that with enough determination he could separate his feelings from his work.

That wasn't happening.

In the darkness of the Georgian bedroom, in the middle of the northern countryside, he realised that he had balls up big time. With Brendan he could not delineate between moments where he was acting and those where he was just being himself.

Mainly, he knew that where he was concerned there wasn't a whole load of acting involved. Neither the haircut nor the piercing had helped in creating a new badass unemotional persona that was unfazed by the Irishman.

Brendan was asleep now. It was very early morning after all. One arm was still possessively wrapped around Ste's waist as they lay face to face.

It wasn't helping matters for Ste. The arm around him. It was confusing.

He had something to get off his chest. Something that he wanted to share with Brendan but he knew he shouldn't.

"Brendan?" He whispered.

The older man didn't flicker. His breathing remained even and somnolent.

If Ste revealed something out loud right now and no one heard it then it was as good as not saying it. Wasn't it?

And if no one heard it, specifically Brendan, then there was no harm done. Right?

He just had to say it out loud. He had to share something with the Irishman and relieve the pressure he carried in his head; the real reason for the headache he had earlier.

He was tired of lying to everyone around him and he particularly hated that he was lying to Brendan about something so fundamental.

"Brendan." He whispered again. "There is something I need to tell you and I am telling you because I like you. A lot. Which is stupid. I know. Even Doug says so. He says it is pointless and he is right because you don't like me the way I like you. Anyway, I like you and I wanted to tell you something I've never told a client before…"

He took a deep breath in and whispered even more quietly. "My name is not Caden. My name is Ste. Steven. Hay. So there. Now you know."

Only he didn't because he was asleep but it still felt like a weight was off Ste's shoulders. He breathed a sigh of relief and closed his eyes.

He fell asleep almost immediately.

He never saw Brendan's eyes opening slowly only moments later; his face registering a myriad of mixed emotions.


	12. Fredrick

_**Dear all,**_

_**Thank you very much for the feedback and your kind words. They are so motivating, I swear! I love your insight into these characters and your thoughts and ideas regarding the story. It is what makes writing such a joy for me, that fact that we all know these characters and still recognise them regardless of the situations they are thrown into. Anyway, enough with the mushiness. Here is chapter 12.**_

_**Summer is over. Ain't that a bi-ch!**_

_**Chips**_

_**xxx**_

{~}

There was a sound or noise in the room. It roused Brendan out of his deep sleep but his body knew it was too early to wake up. It stayed still while his mind slowly stirred.

"… I like you and I wanted to tell you something I've never told a client before."

Caden was speaking. No. Not speaking. Whispering. To him. Brendan could feel the escort's warm breath against his face.

"My name is not Caden."

Cobwebs of fatigue slowly lifted off Brendan.

"My name is Ste. Steven. Hay. So there. Now you know."

What?

Brendan tried to open his mouth to speak but he couldn't. Gradually he opened his eyes.

Caden was already asleep. It was as if he had just imagined the escort's whisper just moments ago but he knew he hadn't. The man in front of him, the one with a content expression on his somnolent face, was called Steven Hay.

It was like sleeping with a stranger. Of course Brendan had known the escort's name was a pseudonym but knowing his real name opened a can of worms. It gave him a peek into a different life; the one the lad lived when he wasn't Caden.

Brendan was wide awake all of a sudden.

Caden had never meant for his revelation to be heard. That was obvious. He had said it in the dead of night when he thought Brendan was fast asleep.

_Sorry, son. I wasn't_.

He looked like a Steven; this young man in front of him. Not that Brendan knew any Stevens.

Why had he felt the need to declare it to Brendan as he slept?

'_I like you.'_

Was that it? That was a soft indication, wasn't it? Brendan couldn't understand it. He pushed away from the lad and turned to face away from him in the bed. He needed time to process. No.

No he didn't.

He needed to forget this had ever happened because it was completely irrelevant.

{~}

Ste woke up just before seven am despite no alarm going off. His internal body clock was too robust to shake his habit of waking up early for his children.

He rolled onto his back and stretched out, arms pointing to the ceiling.

He was in a good mood and had a smile on his face. His thighs throbbed from the exercise of bouncing on Brendan's cock yesterday. It wasn't the only thing that was a little sore but he wasn't complaining. It was a good kind of total body ache.

He turned to Brendan who was curled right up on his side of the bed, reached over and shook him lightly.

The Irishman didn't move.

"Hey." Ste whispered. "I don't take up that much space."

He pulled down the covers and shivered as the cool air of the room hit him. Brendan was right. This house was freezing. There was only one thing for it. He moved to spoon up to Brendan's naked warm body and covered them both up again. That was better. Cosy.

He kissed the bigger man between his shoulder blades and stroked up and down his muscly arm.

"I'm up, so." Ste pushed himself more firmly against Brendan by way of tactile suggestion.

He was offering his services. Sex was an excellent way to warm up, he thought.

The Irishman's back muscles flexed. He turned over to face Ste looking wide awake like he had been up for a while. He didn't say anything. He stared at Ste for so long that the Mancunian dropped his happy expression.

"What?" Ste said but his mind already flew back to the early hours of the morning.

'_There is something I need to tell you. I am telling you because I like you. A lot… I've never told a client before…'_

Shit. Brendan hadn't heard. Had he? No. He couldn't have. That would be the worst thing ever.

"You okay?" Ste asked tentatively.

"Yeah." Brendan sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, avoiding eye contact with him. "You?"

"Yeah." Ste said uncertainly. "Great."

He touched Brendan. The older man didn't pull away but he didn't react positively to Ste's touch either.

_He heard. Definitely. He knows that I really like him and what my real name is. Well done, Ste, you stupid idiot. That's why he acting like this. I should just bring it up and tell him to forget about it. Something about dreams and sleep talking._

"Brendan. I-"

"I'm going to grab a shower." Brendan stood up, cutting him off.

"There is no shower."

"Fuck." Brendan cursed. "Who doesn't have showers now-a-days? It's 2012 for fuck's sake."

_Maybe he just isn't a morning person. Maybe his behaviour has nothing to do with me blurting out something I shouldn't have._

"I have an idea."

Ste stood up and pushed Brendan into the bathroom, popped the plug into the drain of the tub and turned the taps on. He tested the temperature of the small pool of water with the tips of his fingers. "Get into the bathtub please."

Brendan looked at him for a moment then hesitantly got into the near empty tub.

"This is fucking cold."

"You're not a morning person are you?"

"Not on a weekend."

Ste fetched the porcelain jug that was near the bathtub and filled it up with warm water from the tap.

"I'm going to be your shower."

He carefully poured the water over Brendan's head and watched as it cascaded down his body.

He took a _loofah_, dipped it into the rising water, poured shower gel on it and lightly scrubbed over the Irishman's body. They didn't speak as Ste covered every plain of skin with a layer of bubbly soap. Their eyes connected.

Ste tried to gauge whether Brendan had or hadn't heard but the Irishman wasn't giving the game away.

"Stop." Brendan suddenly grabbed his wrist stilling his actions. "Get in, Caden."

What did that mean?

That Brendan didn't know or that he did know and was testing Ste to see whether he would act normal?

This was confusing but he climbed in, careful not to slip, and sat in between Brendan's legs before resting on his chest.

"Relax." Brendan whispered into his ear.

He did once the older man kissed his shoulder and took the _loofah_ off him. He rubbed it lazily over Ste's chest and stomach then lower.

Brendan didn't know, Ste decided. A client would have freaked out and legged it if they heard their trick declare how much they liked him.

He smiled as Brendan continued using the sponge over his body. "You are manhandling the shower, Brendan."

"I have a thing about nice showers."

{~}

After a fitful night with no sleep Brendan concluded that it didn't matter that he knew Caden's real name because it changed nothing.

- His name was irrelevant.

- Caden or Steven was still an escort.

- Brendan was still paying him.

- Brendan had hired him for two specific services this weekend, for sex and to clinch a business deal, and he could still fulfil them.

So he fucked the escort in the bathtub and up against the bathroom wall. Hard. It was intense and carnal to prove that that was what this was essentially about. Sex for money. Pure and simple.

It was enough to make him reconsider the morning's activities. He could have quite happily stayed in their bedroom suite all day but he had made plans and Brendan always stuck to his plans. So they got changed into robust clothes to tackle the bracing morning weather and headed out of the silent house.

Brendan suspected that his hosts and the other guests were still asleep following a late night.

They made the journey to the perimeter of the Kilner estate. Even for someone as world weary as Brendan there was something life affirming about the crisp morning air and vast rural landscape unblemished by human infrastructure.

"This is alright, innit? The country."

Steven looked calm and peaceful, speaking in misty breath. Not Steven.

Caden.

_Caden. Nothing has changed. His name is Caden._

"You've changed your tune." Brendan said as they headed towards the lake.

"Caden."

He said the name out loud to remind himself.

The lad's face, particularly his nose, had gone red due to the cool morning air. He was wearing clothes fit for autumn. Ski hat. Gloves. Fleece jumper that covered not one but two t-shirts. Jeans. Trainers. It was the most Brendan had seen him wear at once. He looked cute though. Cute enough for the Irishman to want to jump his bones. Which would be highly inappropriate. Pervy Freddie probably had a long lens on them right now. So he stuffed his hands in his pockets where they wouldn't get up to nonsense.

"Bit chilly though." Caden sniffed.

"Softy." Brendan mumbled. He stopped the lad to push his hat down lower and the collar of his fleece up higher. Then he took off his own scarf and wrapped it around the lad's neck. "Better?"

Sneaky bastards, those hands. Escaped his pockets in no time.

The escort nodded.

As they approached the water Caden's face changed expression. The carryall bag, folding chairs and fishing rods sticking out of the ground in front of them gave the game away.

The lad's jaw dropped in surprise and his gait quickened as he approached fishing equipment.

Brendan had come up with the idea the day before. Ted had mentioned the variety of fish ripe for the picking in the lake during their post-lunch walk. The idea of taking Caden out and surprising him had an appeal. Brendan knew that it would delight the lad The Irishman had looked forward to putting a smile on his face. That had been his initial motivation. Senseless, ill-advised and pointless.

In light of the escort's revelation and in the cold light of day, it still made sense to go ahead but for very different reasons. Ted had preached to Brendan about the importance of demonstrating his love for his 'boyfriend' with daily gestures. This would show Ted that Brendan was capable of that. This could get him closer to securing the deal.

This was purely business.

"Is this for us?" Caden had a huge smile on his face as he pointed at the fishing gear.

"No." Brendan smiled back. "It's for the guys behind us."

Caden looked back at empty countryside then gave Brendan a sharp look.

"Ha. Ha. Funny." He fell to his knees and dived into the bag excitedly.

"We've got everything here, Brendan. Tackles, poles, nets, reels. Oh. Yeah. I like this line. It casts like a dream. Thin. Cuts through the air. No snags..."

There was something knocking about in Brendan's chest and gut. It felt like a good case of indigestion if there was such a thing. Gentle non-burning warmth spread out from his core while the lad spoke. Seeing Caden look into the bag was like watching someone open a brilliant birthday present. His excitement was contagious.

"Did you say poles and tackles? You keep talking like that and I'm going to cum."

Brendan grinned.

Caden looked at him as if he had said the grossest thing on the planet.

"Look. The bait's artificial. Is that going to be a problem for you." He teased Brendan.

"You watch. I'm going to out fish you. You're going down, skinny boy."

"This isn't a competition."

"Says who?"

"You organised this yesterday with the fit house helper, didn't you?"

"So _you_ think he's fit too."

"I have eyes."

Brendan made his hands into fists. Jealous fists.

"I was wondering why it was taking you so long to collect our food yesterday. We should thank him later. What's his name again. Tom, right? He must have had to wake up dead early to set this up." Caden said.

"Probably. Enough about him."

"What fish do they have then?" The escort stared out at the ripple free lake.

"Carp and Bream mainly."

"Cool."

"You happy?"

Where did that come from? Did it matter that Caden was happy? What mattered was that Ted was impressed.

"Yes!" The lad was already assembling his fishing equipment with the expertise of a seasoned angler. "This is amazing. It's all coming back."

He effortlessly attached the reel to the fishing rod then a length of the line along the pole. He connected a fishing hook at the end of the line and carefully pushed bait onto the sharp edge.

He stopped and looked at Brendan expectantly. "Are you going to have a go?"

"In a bit."

_I'm getting a kick out of watching you right now._

Caden cast the fishing line over the water in a well-executed arc.

"Nice." Brendan said in surprised admiration.

Caden grinned at him. "I haven't lost my touch."

Brendan went to the bag.

"Look at what else we have here."

Brendan showed him the items in his hand. A flask and a plastic container. Breakfast. It was nothing extravagant. Milky coffee. Fruit. Danish pastries.

"Nice. Picnic."

The escort anchored the rod firmly into the soil and checked that it didn't budge then sat on a folding chair next to Brendan.

He accepted a hot mug of coffee from Brendan and hugged it close to him after taking a sip. "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Caden looked at him straight in the eye. "I know this is just for show, you know. I know that it's not for my benefit. I'm sure you'll get extra bonus points with Ted Kilner for doing this. I don't mind. I wanted you to know that this is still one of the nicest things someone has ever done for me. So thank you."

Brendan could barely look at the lad. That weird indigestion feeling went up a notch. He took a ferocious bite out of his apple to calm it down.

It didn't help.

"Glad you like it." He said then cleared his throat.

He started assembling his own fishing rod to occupy his hands and eyes and to distract his mind. The ritual took him back to a day in the past. A warmer day than today.

A happy day.

'_Bren, I think I caught one! Look!'_

Brendan recalled watching the sharp tug of Vinnie's fishing line. He had smiled and ruffled his dark blond hair.

'_What do you know? Beginner's luck.'_

'_Yeah. Whatever. This is raw talent! I'm going pro!'_

Brendan stood up and cast his line out into the lake. It landed only slightly further than Caden's.

{~}

Ste could have stayed by the lake with Brendan all day if he could. Even though the weather was grey and cold everything was perfect. Brendan was relaxed and … sweet. That was the word, sweet; even though it seemed at odds with the man the Irishman portrayed ninety-nine percent of the time.

And he made a catch. That made his day.

After a while, however, there was no getting away from the wind chill factor and the light rain. It cooled Ste down so much that he broke out into a run of vicious shivers.

"Can't have you dying of hypothermia on my watch." Brendan muttered and engulfed Ste in his body heat. "Home."

By the time they got back to the house what had started as a light drizzle became a tropical monsoon. The weather took a decidedly shit turn. Thomas was there waiting for them.

"I'll put your fish in the fridge."

They got back to their room, dried off and got changed into their glad rags before heading down to join the dinner party. This meal was going to be far more formal than it had been the day before. Although on paper it was a social affair the reality was that this was the business end of things.

Ste took his contacts out. "Will it be okay if I wear my glasses? My contacts are all waterlogged now."

Brendan plonked the eyewear on his face and adjusted it. "There you go, Clark Kent."

Lunch was served in the great hall. Two lit fireplaces made the large room both comforting and warm. The sash windows looked out of the front of the house to the drive and beyond.

There was a single long rectangular dining table in the centre of the room.

Brendan was placed at the head of it as guest of honour next to Ted Kilner. Ste was three people away between Victoria and Fredrick; too far away to do more than occasionally catch Brendan's eye.

It was an uncomfortable Kilner sandwich for him.

Ste got the impression that while Victoria liked him, Freddy detested him. Yesterday, while Brendan made introductions at lunch, the Kilner's only son had looked at him as if he were rubbish then made some lame excuse and walked off without ever speaking to Ste. Ste had put his behaviour down to a bad day but Freddy was being just as frosty with him today. During their first course his replies to Ste's questions were monosyllabic at best.

When the second course arrived Ste gave up trying with the businessman and concentrated on Victoria instead.

He looked over at Brendan but he was in deep conversation with Ted. At least things seemed to be going well for him.

_I hope he gets what he wants out of this,_ Ste thought.

"I bet they are talking about work." Victoria said dryly as she caught him looking.

"Probably." Ste agreed.

"When Ted was younger he was as handsome a man as Brendan is now." She whispered in his ear. "In fact he used to have a moustache too. One just as fetching!"

She was smiling so Ste smiled too. "Victoria, are you eyeing up my man?"

She giggled.

"For your information, I think Ted's still got it." Ste said and winked at her.

"He's not bad, is he, for an old man?" She conceded then sighed. "Men always seem to age better than women. Crow's feet and a splash of grey hair on a woman are unsightly. On a man they are elegant and attractive. I resent that."

"You're still gorgeous."

"Bless you."

"But it's the whole package, right. I wouldn't fancy Brendan the way I do if he wasn't nice too."

"You are adorable, Caden. Do you know that?" She looked out of the windows in disappointment. "The heavens have well and truly opened. I hate days like this with freak weather. Call me superstitious but it makes me uneasy. The forecast was summer sun. I had initially hoped to host this lunch outside today."

"Next time, mum." Fredrick said speaking across Ste. Ste was sure that Victoria's son gave him a death glare. "This is still lovely."

"Freddy's right." Ste said. "This room is well lush and also, don't you think there is something nice about being indoors when it's raining out? It always makes me feel right safe and protected."

Victoria gave him a curious look. "I suppose you are right. That's a nice way to look at it."

"I think so." He said.

"I hear Brendan and you went out for a spot of angling this morning." She smiled as she took a dainty bite out of her food.

Ste couldn't hide his happiness. "Yes. It were a childhood hobby. He surprised me because I told him I haven't done it for ages."

"You must remember to take your catch before you go home then." She smiled.

"I will!" Ste said excitedly. "Thank you for giving me the opportunity, Victoria. It were amazing!"

"_Was_. It _was_ amazing." Fredrick corrected.

Those were the first words Freddy addressed to Ste without prompting. Hard, clipped, critical ones.

"Freddy." Victoria chastised.

Ste blushed. "Yeah. Sorry. It's how I were, was, brought up speaking in Manchester so."

He gave Freddy a hesitant smile.

"I was born and bred in Liverpool. No excuse for bad grammar." Freddy said in his boarding school acquired Received Pronunciation.

Victoria put her cutlery down and stared at her son in anger. "I don't know what's wrong with you, Fredrick, but you are being unbelievably rude to our guest."

"I am just being honest, ma." Freddy whispered. "He caught a big fish with his boyfriend in _our_ lake. Woop-de-woop. Now he's got something to put in his fridge back at home."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ste whispered angrily.

"I think you know what I mean."

"Have I offended you or summat, Freddy?"

"Jesus! Listen to him, mother!" Freddy hissed as he leaned closer to them and kept his voice down. "He is barely literate! He doesn't belong here!"

That felt like a sucker punch to the gut. So that is why Fredrick had been giving him the cold shoulder. He thought Ste was beneath him.

Ste looked across at Brendan again hoping to get his attention but the Irishman was still totally engrossed in Ted. They were laughing, patting shoulders and throwing down wine oblivious to the storm that was brewing in the room.

"Ignore him, Caden." Victoria said quietly trying to damage control as she looked around the table to make sure no one else could detect the rising turbulence. "I'm afraid I know what this is about. Freddy is somewhat jealous of you and your relationship with Brendan."

"I'm not jealous of this… chav!" Her son said loudly enough to get the attention of the whole table as he pointed at Ste. "What is there to be jealous of? Look at him. He's scum!"

"Shut up!" His mother shouted at her son. "Caden, I am really sorry."

Ste looked down at what he was wearing. Then back up at Freddy.

What was wrong with him? He knew that his clothes weren't as expensive or his accent as refined as those of the people around the table but that didn't mean he wasn't smart or aspirational or had a moral code. He was still someone of worth.

Or had Fredrick somehow found out about why he was here? Did he know Ste was an escort? He looked around the table. Everyone was quiet and looking at him. His paranoia grew as they stared at him.

_They can all sense it. That I am a liar and an imposter. That I am not one of them. What if they all find out that Brendan pays me?_

He felt like the walls were closing in.

'…_You are nothing but rot. A filthy whore. Poison. Spreading your legs for cash. People like you are a malignant presence in society…'_

He went red and his eyes prickled. He felt unsteady on his feet as he stood up.

Victoria ordered her son to, "Freddy. Apologise. Now!"

"What's going on?" Ted Kilner asked.

Brendan stood up. "Caden?"

He sounded far away and muffled.

Ste carefully put his napkin on the side of his plate. "I'm going to go... get some air…"

He couldn't make eye contact with anyone much less Brendan. He felt totally humiliated and he knew that he must have caused embarrassment to the Irishman. He blinked back tears that threatened to fall.

"I'm sorry, Brendan."

"Wait." Brendan approached him quickly. He stared down at an unapologetic Freddy and commanded,

"Stand up."

Freddy rose to his feet; holding his ground.

"Repeat what you said to him?" Brendan sneered. "I dare you."

"It's fine, Brendan. Sit down." Ste said.

This was turning into a nightmare.

Fredrick tilted his head back, standing tall, looking down his nose at Ste. "No. I was clear first time around. Your boyfriend's cheap."

There was a pause.

A pin could have been heard dropping.

Then Brendan's fist landed squarely in Fredrick's face. The man went down like a sack of spuds. He yelped in agony as blood poured from his nose. He gripped his face gingerly with both hands and writhed around on the floor as commotion broke out around the table.

Brendan shook his sore fist and looked at his red knuckles.

There was a universal expression of pure shock on everyone's faces.

Ste looked at Ted who was looking at his son. Brendan was looking at Ted. Then Ted looked at Brendan.

It was heart-breaking to see. The relationship that the two men had carefully constructed over weeks was annihilated by Brendan's surge of violence against Ted's son.

Ste blamed himself. He had been the catalyst for the drama.

"Jesus, Brendan." Ted Kilner said as he knelt down next to his son. "Can someone please get Thomas or Ann? We need to get a car ready to get my son to hospital."

Brendan sniffed and smoothed down his moustache. He rubbed the blood that was on his knuckles onto his chest, smudging a streak of red over his crisp white shirt. "I'm sorry, Edward. No one talks about him like that. No one."

He faced Ste and took his hand firmly. "Come on. Let's go."

{~}

Seeing Caden standing there in the great hall, exposed, vulnerable and under scrutiny had made Brendan feel something primal. He had become insanely protective of the boy.

He had barely thought twice before decking Freddy; that smug, spoilt brat of a man. He regretted the attack only because it had played out in front of his parents and guests; people Brendan had grown to respect and admire.

_You have blown it, you eejit. A deal that stood to earn you millions of pounds. Fucked right up to defend the dignity of a man who sleeps with seven other men for a living. You. Are. A. Tool._

Brendan tried to ignore his subconscious.

Caden and he had to leave the estate after what had happened so he left the escort in the reception area while he collected their belongings from their room. He made a plan of action. He would leave his car and have it picked up later and dropped off at his apartment. They would take the escort's car so that Brendan could make sure he was okay.

"I can drive myself." Caden said, fooling no one. His hands were trembling. "Honest."

Brendan ignored his protests when he took the lad's keys and sat behind the wheel after loading their things into the old but well-kept dark blue Ford Mondeo.

There was something stuffed under the front passenger seat which he would have missed had he not needed to adjust his seat. It was a soft bunny rabbit toy. Off white with one eye missing. Old. Overused.

He picked it up.

"Bit old for this, ain't you?" He joked trying to lighten the mood in the car.

Caden even snatched it off him as if Brendan would poison it. He looked on edge as he threw the toy onto the back seat. "It's nothing."

Odd reaction.

Thomas ran out just before they drove off with the fish they had caught in the morning. It served as a cruel reminder of how good things had been at the outset of the day.

{~}

They made good progress on the roads despite the heavy rain. They were half way to Chester when the escort spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Brendan looked straight ahead and gripped the steering wheel tightly. He envisioned doing the same thing to Freddy's neck. "You have nothing to feel sorry for. Fredrick Kilner is a dumb fuck."

He looked over at Steven. The escort was staring out of the car, through the rapidly moving windscreen wipers. His phone began to beep and ring in his black satchel in the back seat as they entered an area with signal but the escort ignored it.

Who was trying to get hold of him? Brendan wondered. Clients? Loved ones? The artist? That waif-like girl? People from the escort's 'real' life he suspected. The life where he was called Steven not Caden. A life Brendan wasn't privy to.

"The deal. It's totally fallen apart, hasn't it?"

"I punched Fredrick in front of his father." Brendan said calmly. "I'm guessing Teddy won't be sharing his Cubans with me any time soon."

Steven covered his face and rubbed it. "Why did you do it? I didn't need you to step in."

"Freddy was talking bullshit."

"It's not like I haven't heard it before." Steven said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"Chav. Townie. Pikey. I got it all the time growing up."

"He doesn't know you. He has no right to say those things about you."

Steven shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't want to rock the boat. I knew how important the deal was to you."

"He needed to know that we won't take that shit"

"Spide. Steak. Sham." Brendan kept his eyes on the road.

"Huh?"

"Irish chav." Brendan glanced at him. "You never forget childhood name-calling."

Steven frowned. "People called you that?"

Brendan gripped the wheel. "All that stuff, Caden, barriers that are put in your way to try to stop your path in life, they are just stepping stones. It's the stuff that makes you stronger."

{~}

Brendan parked Ste's car near his apartment at the back of Watergate Street and killed the engine. Neither man made a move to get out. There were still eight hours of Sunday left. Technically the call out wasn't over.

"Do you want me to come up?" Ste said.

"You should get going." Brendan said at the same time.

Ste should have known. Brendan didn't want to see him again after that mammoth fuck up. It must have cost him tonnes of money.

Brendan cleared his throat. "It's £2500, right?"

"It wasn't a whole weekend so you can pay me half."

"You did your job." Brendan argued.

_You won't even look at me. You can't stand me. _

Brendan reached round and stretched his arm out to grab his travel bag which was on the back seat. Ste pulled back a little to allow Brendan to bring it to the front, onto his lap.

He took out a full sealed envelope from it.

Unmarked.

Tan.

"Here."

"Thanks." Ste said.

"I'll call you."

"Sure." Ste assumed the Irishman was lying.

Brendan got out of the car with his travel bag and slammed it shut. Ste climbed over the hand break to get into the driver's seat and adjusted it to suit his height. He turned the key and the car purred to life once again.

He nearly jumped at the tap on his window. He had thought Brendan would be long gone. He rolled it the window down and Brendan leaned in.

He said nothing for a second just stared at Ste with an unfathomable gaze.

He made a move to touch Ste then pulled back.

"Don't forget the fish in the back."

He straightened up, turned on his heal and walked away.

{~}

Amy was on Ste the minute he walked into the house.

"Ste!" She hugged him for so long and hard that he got worried. "You're okay!"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

She whacked him over the head and looked at him angrily. "Answer your phone when I ring you!"

"Ouch, Ames!" A minute ago she looked chuffed to bits to see him. What was going on? "There was no signal where I was."

"I thought you were dead!" She looked like she was about to cry then.

Three different emotions in less than thirty seconds. Joy. Anger. Relief.

"Dead? Why?"

"Look!" She marched into the living room and shoved an opened tan unmarked envelope at him. Ste took out the piece of A4 paper in it.

"I have been trying to get hold of you to tell you about it." Amy said.

_Caden,_

_Did you think I was lying when I said I had my eye on you? You must think I am a fool. Be careful not to underestimate me. Just because the website's down, your phone number is no longer working and your P.O. Box is closed doesn't mean I can't SEE you. _

_Did you think that would be enough to keep me away?_

_Did you think I would change my mind? Once a whore. Always a whore. If only your dear friends realised that like I do. But then, unlike them, I know who you are; inside and out. _

_Sleep tight if you can._

"It was in our letter box this morning." Amy started to tremble in fear. "It must have been posted last night while we were sleeping."

His kids and Amy had been asleep and vulnerable; unsafe and unprotected. And he hadn't been there.

"Whoever it is knows where we live, Steven." Amy went into full blown panic mode. "Which means he knows your name and mine. Which means he can trace where I work and where the kids go to school! Oh my God!"

She covered her mouth with a shaky hand as her eyes widened in terror.

"Where are they? The monsters."

"Playing upstairs. I haven't taken them out today. I too scared. What are we going to do now?"

"Did you call the police?"

"No." She looked guilty. She hugged herself, "I didn't think. I locked all the doors. I called dad and Doug but he's taken Benji down to London for the weekend."

"What about Lee? Wasn't he here?"

"He stayed over. He was the one to find it when he got up but then he had to go." She shook her head. "He's busy right now with work."

"He doesn't work on weekends. Knob. He was scared." Ste picked up his car keys again. "I'll go to the police station and show them this note and then we'll figure something out. You'll be fine. Just lock the door behind me and call me if you're worried about anything. Or 999."

"Shit, Ste!"

He was trying to act strong but he was just as anxious as Amy was. He had honestly thought that the last letter was a prank given that three weeks had passed without any further notes.

Who could have done this?

He had a shortlist of potential suspects but one stood out more than the others.

{~}

Ste had never been so jumpy being out and about in Chester. He felt like everyone from the pensioner with the zimmer frame to the little girl twirling around to the ASBO looking group of kids, were out to get him.

By the time he had made the short walk from the supermarket car park to Chester's police station he had broken a sweat that was hidden only by the fact that he was soaked in rain.

He quickly walked up to the front desk and joined the short queue. While waiting his turn he spotted a familiar female police officer walking past. He turned his head to look the other way hoping she wouldn't spot him.

He wasn't in the mood for a trip down memory lane.

"Steven?"

Too late.

"Hi." He said as she walked up to him.

"What are you doing here?" She said. "Please don't tell me you-"

"I am here to report a crime." He felt his ears heat up as lay people and officers alike stared at him and eavesdropped on their conversation.

"Against you?"

"Yes." He dropped his voice. "I came in a few weeks ago. I handed in a letter, like a threatening one, and made a statement. I have just received another one."

He produced the note from his pocket.

"Do you have a reference number for the case?" She said seriously after reading it.

"Yes."

"Follow me. Let's get this logged." She briskly walked through a door into an office. She slipped the note into a clear plastic bag and took a seat behind the desk. Then she started typing into her computer.

"Reference number?"

He checked his regular phone and recited it back to her.

"Here we are." She said. She read the transcript of the previous letter on the monitor. "Lovely. What colourful language."

"Yeah."

"So you do this," She pointed at the screen, "Now. For pay."

She looked disappointed in him.

"Um." He looked down in shame.

"No. Fine. It isn't relevant right this minute." She looked kindly at him. "You must be petrified."

"It's the fact that he has put this one straight through our letter box at home."

"You said 'he'."

"Yes." Ste said hesitantly. "Can we get security or something at the house? Please."

"Ste, you know that we haven't got the man power to do that. If we guarded everyone who got hate mail in Chester we would have no officers left to do everything else."

"That's got to be a lie."

She gave him a wry smile and started typing again while talking to him. "Look you need to help us because right now there is very little to go on here. I'm sure we asked you this when you last came in. Don't try and protect people who might be out to harm you. Do you have any idea who might have done this?"

"Yes."

She stopped typing and looked up.

Ste took a breath. This was for his family. For their safety and his.

The person he had in mind was someone who he had upset, albeit unintentionally. Someone with a chip on his shoulder and a bone to pick with Ste. Someone who knew that he escorted but also had the means to find out his true identity. Someone able to get to him when Ste had severed all obvious channels of communication.

Someone with a temper. Someone with a streak of violence about him.

The policewoman tapped her pen impatiently.

"Go on then. This isn't Eastenders, Ste. I haven't got time for dramatic pauses and cliff hangers."


	13. Cheryl- Part One

_**Hi Folks,**_

_**I feel like my last chapter may have jinxed the weather... my bad. Anywho, had pressure of thought so I got this one written asap.**_

_**Hope you like it. (Chapter 13- **__**Hard 'M')**_

_**Chips x**_

**{~}**

"… I'm sure we asked you this when you last came in. Don't try and protect people who might be out to harm you. Do you have any idea who might have done this?" The officer said.

"Yes."

Ste took a breath.

The policewoman tapped her pen impatiently.

"Go on then. This isn't Eastenders, Ste. I haven't got time for dramatic pauses and cliff hangers."

"Okay but I'm not saying it's for definite, right. It's just a thought."

"A name, Ste. Now."

"Yeah." Ste closed his eyes. This needed to be done. "His name is…"

{~}

"Brendan." Walker said. "Morning, mate."

Brendan's heart sank on seeing his business associate in his office as he stepped through its doors but acted unfazed. He had a hunch about why Simon had sneaked in, unannounced and uninvited, at this hour of the morning. He was sitting comfortably on Brendan's chair, his feet crossed at the ankles on the desk, leisurely smoking a cigarette. The soles of his black cowboy boots pointed at the Irishman.

"My day's barely begun," Brendan muttered as he closed the door, "You want to ruin it already?"

Walker smiled emotionlessly. "You look like you could do with crawling right back to bed again."

Brendan smirked.

He had been running on almost no sleep for days because a certain skinny brunet with a killer smile, shocking blue eyes and lashes for days kept running through his head at the most inconvenient of times. It was distracting, confusing, tiresome and laborious. He couldn't understand it. He had never been like this before; had so little control on his emotions and been unable to keep thoughts and feelings in check.

It was unnecessary and had to be stopped and yet the obvious answer, cutting Caden out of his life, was still not an option. Even after his tantrums and moodiness. Even after his nocturnal revelation. Even after he cost Brendan a big business deal.

Even though he was complicated. Capital C.

There was something about the escort. Something that meant Brendan couldn't sever ties with him. So he had no option but to exercise better control than he had done so far.

_Haven't you said that before? You said something about keeping things strictly 'Shag and Go'. What happened there?_

Brendan walked up to Walker and swept his briefcase over the desk, dislodging the man's feet.

"Put that out. Get up."

Walker stubbed out his cigarette slowly before standing up and rounding the desk to take the other seat. His movements were stealthy, agile, and feline. They reminded Brendan of a panther.

"You really need to work on your ps and qs, Brendan. You know that? I've come all the way from Liverpool and this is how you greet me?"

"Politeness is not my priority at six thirty on a Monday morning." Brendan said as he sat down at his throne. He pointed at the extinguished cigarette. "Thought you were trying to get healthy."

Walker grinned. "I never said that. I just want to look fit."

Walker looked physically fit already. A lean, mean, fighting machine. He was dressed completely in black today. Black long sleeved top. Black jeans. No watch. No other accessories except for the gold earring at the top of his left ear.

"Who died?" Brendan asked.

Walker gave him a penetrating glare. "Rumour has it the Kilner deal did."

Brendan lifted an eyebrow. So Walker had heard already.

"Tell me it isn't so."

"Who told you?" Brendan asked.

"Fredrick Kilner. No one else knows. Yet."

Brendan grunted in distaste at hearing the man's name.

"He told me you were at their country house this weekend. Good to know you aren't keeping any secrets from me." He added sarcastically.

Brendan shrugged.

"He said that is when his face encountered your fist."

He looked down at the grazed knuckles on Brendan's left hand.

"Why was he ringing you?"

"I'm a great listener." Walker said dead pan.

"I mean why you?"

"How do you think I found out about the property? He was my 'in'. I met him at a club in Liverpool three months ago."

"Please don't tell me you fucked him?"

"Fine. I won't."

"Jesus. Walker. That's almost bestiality."

"That's mean. He's an animal in bed that's for sure. Anyway. It was business. Loosened his tongue. It's amazing how lucrative pillow talk can be. He told me that daddy dearest's shipping business was going down and that they were going to concentrate on their other business ventures. I told him that you might be interested in taking the property off their hands at the right price." He smiled coldly. "It was going to be a nice little earner, Brendan. That deal. Before you fucked things up."

"Plenty more deals out there."

Walker stood up and slammed his open palm on the desk. "That was _my_ deal! I had to fuck that guy four fucking times to get you near them. Do you know how long it takes to scrub shame off? I could have gone to someone else with that deal. I gave it to you because I trust you. I know you. I thought you could bring it home. You've cost me money!"

"Calm down, Simon."

"I am not happy, Brendan." He started pacing.

After a moment he asked, "Who is the boy?"

"What boy?" Brendan was trying to keep a steely exterior but his nerves jangled at the mention of Caden. And it showed.

The tick in his cheek. The rub of his moustache for comfort. The inability to maintain eye contact.

That asswipe, Freddy, had told Walker about Caden.

"Caden." Walker said. "That's the same bloke that was feeding you prawns in Liverpool, wasn't it? Who is he?"

"No one."

"According to Freddy he is your boyfriend."

"That was for show. I was giving Kilner senior what he wanted." Brendan said. "It was business."

"So who is he then?" Walker repeated.

"Why is that important?"

"Because he is obviously important enough for you to rain check on a business meeting with me and to fuck up a multimillion pound property deal."

"You're becoming hysterical." Brendan pointed at Walker's packet of cigarettes on his desk. "Have another fag."

"Fuck off. Freddy said you punched him because he said something a bit mean to your little friend," Walker said in a mocking voice. "Please tell me you didn't fuck this up to defend a nice bit of arse from some playground taunting."

"Jesus, Walker, seriously. We are talking about me here."

"What about the last one? The blond-"

"No." Brendan said firmly.

_We aren't talking about him. You know nothing about him. You knew nothing about him. None of you did. _

"You've got to fix this, Brendan."

"It's over."

Walker leaned over the desk, "No, it's not. Do whatever it takes. That's what we do. That's how we got to where we are."

{~}

It was 'art gallery Monday'. Doug, Ste and Benji were sitting in the gallery's shop having a coffee before Doug's shift started at the gallery and his boyfriend's at the _Coffee Hut_.

Ste had agreed that Benji ought to know, in general terms, about the threatening letters so that he could remain vigilant to suspicious activity. He still didn't know the minutiae especially the fact that the threats centred over Ste's prostitution.

Ste didn't want Benji to change his perception of him.

"This is like a proper crime drama, isn't it?" The student said excitedly.

"Hopefully not." Doug said. "Someone always dies in crime dramas."

Benji shuddered at the thought.

"Thanks, Doug!" Ste said.

"You know what I mean!" Doug said. "I'm not saying it will happen."

Benji looked at Ste. "So is there a prime suspect? Is that what they're called?"

"No. There isn't." Ste said quickly. "They are still investigating. Until then they said that I should look out for anything suspicious and tell them ASAP."

"What about Amy and the kids?"

"The police have been round to the house. They say it is 'burglar safe'. They've also left instructions with the nursery and the school. Only Amy and me are allowed to pick them up just in case anyone tries to snatch them."

Ste felt his hands shake at the prospect. Fuck. That couldn't happen. If they were taken from him that would be him done. He couldn't recover from that.

"Hey, that won't happen, buddy." Doug said. "This is Chester not Hollyoaks."

"Exactly. Nothing really exciting happenes here." Benji added then looked at his watch. "Look, I've got to go."

He stood up and gave his boyfriend a peck on the lips.

"Be careful, babes." Doug said nervously. "Call me later."

Benji's grin broadened. "Don't be like that. Nothing's going to happen to me or to any of us. Agreed?"

Doug and Ste nodded slowly.

"Good." Benji put his jacket on. "By the way are we still on for dinner at yours, Ste?"

God, Ste had forgotten about that.

"Yeah. Um, yeah. 'Course."

{~}

Paul knocked on Brendan's office door and walked in.

"Hi, boss. Sorry to interrupt you but Cheryl called again. She was sounding pretty pissed off this time but I told her you were busy."

"Atta boy. You're learning. The man that can."

Paul smiled and started to walk out.

"Wait. Are you busy?" Brendan asked.

"Yes."

"Good. I have a job for you."

"No. Brendan. I said I was busy."

"I don't hear 'no'."

Paul internally groaned in despair. "What can I do for you?"

Brendan smirked. "This one is easy. The thing you need to remember is that once you have done it, you never did it."

{~}

Doug's words of advice #7-

"For my piece of mind please promise that you'll always be with someone. Ames. Benji. Me. Just so I don't freak out that something has happened to you."

Ste laughed uneasily. "I've never seen you like this."

"That's because this is serious. I hope they get Kevin. When are they questioning him anyway?"

"Dunno. But they said they'd keep me informed." Ste shuddered. "Look, could we talk about something else."

"Okay. What about your weekend with your mate? What was his name again?"

"Fletch. Fletcher."

"You've never mentioned him before."

"I knew him growing up before I met you." Ste said. "Ames and me went to school with him in Manchester."

"So how was catching up with him?"

"Good." Ste said evasively choosing not to elaborate the lie. He was shit at lying.

_Actually I have lost touch with Fletch. Really what happened was I spent the weekend in a dead posh house in the country with Brendan even though I told you guys that I stopped escorting. He was really sweet. He took me fishing and we have the most amazing sex and ... then I told him my real name and that I liked him. Don't freak out. It was while he was sleeping so._

_Oh yeah, and __I helped fuck up a lucrative business deal of his. _

_Apart from that… _

"'Good'? That's it? Ste! I told you all about my weekend in London with Ben." Doug stared him down. "Give me deets."

"It were nothing exciting. Not like spotting Pro Green in Camden with his bird."

"Yeah, nothing can beat that!" Doug smiled.

"Exactly. We just caught up. Talked about old times. Hung out. We, um, did some fishing."

"Fishing? That's a bit random?" Doug led the way back into the exhibition hall to get ready for his shift.

He had never told Doug about his passion for fishing.

"Yeah. I guess, but it was good. I used to do some when I were a kid so."

"Oh. Didn't know that. You're eyes have gone all glazed, dude. Is there something between you guys. Is he unfinished business or something?"

"Eh?"

"Fletch. Do you have a thing going on?"

"No!"

"Just asking!" Doug grinned.

"We're mates. That's all. We didn't do anything."

"Ok fine. You're being really defensive, bro!"

"Well, apart from the fishing. I caught a fish."

"Is that what we are eating tonight?"

"Yeah."

"You're taking the head off, right. I can't stare into dead fish eyes."

Ste smiled. "I'll cover it up."

"Um, can I ask you something?"

"No I don't fancy Fletch."

Doug smiled. "It's work. Basically the website for the gallery could do with an update. The last time anyone changed it was two years ago."

"That's when I redid the whole site for you."

Doug went red. "Yeah, well none of us knows how you did it so it's stayed exactly the same since." He pointed at the curator who was sleeping on a chair. "I don't really do computers and Greg is like seventy. He still thinks they take up a whole room."

Ste grunted a laugh.

"We keep getting complaints because all the information on it is out of date. What do you reckon? Can you help a brother out?"

"Yeah. Fine. It's not like I'm doing anything else." Ste cracked his knuckles. This was hardly challenging work but it was getting the juices flowing.

"I don't think there's much money in it. The boss is so fucking tight."

"It's fine. It's something to put on my CV anyway."

Doug suddenly gripped his face and turned it to the side.

"What's this?! You're such a liar, Ste!"

Ste's hand immediately went up to cover the bruise on his neck. He remembered how Brendan had worked that area delectably by kissing and sucking it causing Ste to moan with pleasure.

"Nothing."

"It's a hickie!"

"Um. It isn't."

"'We're mates. That's all.' " Doug imitated his friend. "Liar! You are so busted! Where did Fletcher touch you, Ste? I want details."

{~}

Ste became so engrossed in his task that he didn't realise that nearly three hours had passed when Doug walked in.

"How's it going?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty much done. Just a few bits and bobs left and I'm done. The new website will blow your socks off."

"Take a break, buddy."

"In a minute." Ste said without looking up from the monitor.

"Geek!" Doug said good-humouredly.

He flattened his friend's laptop and turned the computer monitor off.

"Eh ya!" Ste moaned in annoyance. "I were doing something important there!"

"In a minute." Doug was smiling from ear to ear as he sat down. "I want to take you and Benji to lunch."

"At _Marrakesh_?" Ste guessed that it was going to be their usual Moroccan restaurant.

Doug shook his head. "Nope. I was thinking more like _Simon Radley_ at the Chester Grosvenor."

Ste frowned.

That restaurant had one Michelin star. Its taster menu was £90 a head without drinks. That was one of the cheapest deals. Steven knew this well. It was one of the restaurants Noah used to take him to on their 'dates'. And of course the hotel it was in was where he used to have his weekly trysts with Kevin.

If they went, it was going to be a warped trip down memory lane for Ste.

"Have you raided a bank or something?"

"No." Doug paused for suspense. "I just got a phone call from the exhibition about my paintings. They have practically sold out!"

"What?"

"Can you imagine? They've only been up since Thursday."

Ste was on his feet and hugging his friend in no time. "That is… wow!"

"I know. I can't believe it!"

{~}

Paul and Brendan were en route back to the office; sitting in the back of a chauffeur-driven company car. They had just finished having a lunchtime meeting with an advertising agency that was looking to help them upgrade the company image.

"So are we saying we are happy with these new proofs for the new company logo?" Paul asked while Brendan perused the boards in his hands.

Brendan threw them to one side. "No. They're shit."

Paul picked them up and looked at him with a smile. "Can you be more specific so I can give the guys feedback on what to change?"

"Everything."

"Thanks." Paul rolled his eyes.

Brendan had been in a foul mood all day. He was pissed off with Walker. He was angry with Freddy. He was frustrated with Ted. He was tired of his sister's constant attempts to reach him.

He was tired. That was the bottom line. And he was irritated with himself because all he wanted to do was call Caden. There was no aim or purpose to it. No specific reason. Just an attempt to reclaim the warmth in his core that had disappeared the minute the escort drove away from his home yesterday, revving so heavily that he created skid marks on the concrete with his cheap old car.

Brendan looked at his phone and went to his contact list. He took a deep breath then punched out a text message.

_Hi_

He sent the text. Why was he texting Caden again? The only answer could be 'for a call out'.

Caden replied within seconds.

_Hi x_

Brendan smiled.

_I hope you are happy with yourself. My shower feels shit compared to the version you gave me at the weekend. You're going to need to come over to give me one of yours._

_BB_

He sent it and then had another thought.

_How was the fish?_

Caden texted,

_I'm having it tonight. Getting a recipe off the internet. Hopefully I won't poison anyone! _

_About the shower, it's not my fault I'm good at everything I do! I wouldn't mind coming over and being your shower again but there's a small problem. U don't have a bathtub. We need a bath, a jug, a chandelier and a cold room to recreate the scenario._

_: ) _

_Have u heard from Kilner?_

_Caden x _

"Good news, boss?" Paul asked.

Brendan realised he was smiling like an idiot. He dropped the happy face. "No."

He texted,

_No. He is probably still thinking of how to tell me to fuck off. _

_Also, I'll have you know I have a bath. Two. Big ones! I'll get a jug from the kitchen and put the air con on. Fuck the chandelier._

_Are we on? _

Caden replied with,

_When?_

Brendan looked at his watch then at Paul.

"What do I have on this afternoon?"

"Nothing much. You pencilled in a meeting to update staff on the Kilner shipping acquisition."

"Cancel that." Brendan said. What was the point? They had reached the end of the road with Kilner.

He typed into his phone,

_My place. One hour._

"Who are you texting?" Paul asked.

"A person." Brendan said.

The young man's curiosity peaked. Brendan never prioritised anything over work.

"Okay." Paul said. "So what are we doing with these proofs?"

"Tell them to start again."

Brendan checked his phone. Caden hadn't texted back. An hour was short notice, wasn't it? The lad was considering it but was going to say no. Fine. Not a problem.

Brendan snatched the boards out of Paul's hands and flicked through them again but he wasn't looking at them properly. He was thinking about Caden and why he hadn't answered yet. He had answered Brendan's previous texts straight away so far.

_He isn't at my beck and call,_ Brendan rationalised. _He has his own life._ _He has his other clients._

Brendan felt the cardboard bend in his hands.

"Okay. I get it. You hate them." Paul said.

Brendan snapped back to work. "Tell the ad men that these are rubbish. I know I am Irish. I don't need fucking orange, white and green everywhere. This logo is one step away from having a leprechaun on it."

"We have a shamrock as a logo right now."

"Exactly. I am trying to move away from the obvious, Paulie. My brief was 'national without being stereotypical'."

"I'll let them know."

"They should know already."

The car drew to a stop outside the office building. Paul got out but Brendan stayed put. He checked his phone once again.

_I can be there in fifteen minutes._

"You coming, boss?" Paul asked through the open door.

"No." Brendan leaned forward towards the driver. "Drop me off at home, please. I'm done for the day."

Paul's jaw practically hit the floor. "You're going home?"

"Yes."

"But you never go home early."

"First time for everything. See you tomorrow."

He closed the door as the car moved off again leaving a bewildered Paul looking on.

{~}

_Fifteen minutes then._

_BB_

Ste tried to calm his rapid heartbeat as he read Brendan's text.

"Fuck's sake, Ste. Put your phone down!" Doug said in exasperation as he placed his dessert fork back onto his plate at the Michelin star restaurant. "I thought we were going to have a nice lunch together to celebrate. Not constantly text on our phones."

"I've only been on it for the last ten minutes. Tops." Ste put his phone on the table, face down. "Sorry."

He was going to see Brendan again. Less than twenty-four hours had passed and yet it couldn't be soon enough. He was unbelievably excited.

He knew he shouldn't see the Irishman; not after the general safety advice from the police or the words of caution from his friends but Brendan wasn't the perpetrator of the crime. For one thing, he had been with Ste when the last letter was posted. For another, if he had wanted to harm Ste he had already had plenty of opportunity.

There was another reason not to see the Irishman.

Their relationship was unhealthy. They were not on the same page when it came to what they wanted out of it but for now Ste was prepared to take what he could. He was finding it too hard to pass up on time with the Irishman in any form.

"Is that a new phone?" Benji asked.

Shit.

_Well done, stupid. Bring out your new work phone so that your mates can see it_.

"Yeah. I mean no. I still have my regular one. This is in case of emergencies. You know, because of what's happening."

Did that even make sense? They seemed to accept it.

"So who's texting?" Doug asked curiously.

"Police officer." Ste blurted out.

"I didn't know they texted customers."

"Yeah. Yeah. They want me at the station."

"Now?" Doug asked.

Ste nodded.

"Do they have some more information?" Benji looked hopeful.

"I dunno."

_I am literally the world's shittiest friend. I can't believe I am lying to them like this. And for what? A client that I really like but that only sees me as sex for pay._

_I am pathetic._

"But I'm going to finish my dessert first obviously!" He grinned. "This food has been incredible, ain't it?"

He devoured the rest of his floating island pudding.

"You really want to get to that station in a hurry, don't you?" Doug smiled sardonically.

Ste blushed. "No."

"Make sure to take a taxi. The minute you are in one text me the cab reference code and license number."

"Doug!" Ste said.

"What? I'm just being cautious."

Ste didn't need to take a cab. The hotel was just a few minutes' walk from Brendan's place. The problem was that Brendan's apartment was near the gallery and coffee shop. He would have to leave soon to avoid being spotted by his friends as they returned to their places of work.

"Okay. I'm going." He stood up and reached for his satchel but he didn't have it on him.

This was peculiar. He felt naked without it. He always had it with him during a call out. It was like a comfort blanket but he would have to do without it now. At least, with Brendan, he knew that he didn't need to bring 'supplies'.

He said bye to his friends and quickly set off on foot.

{~}

Brendan got to his apartment just moments before Steven did. The escort did a good job of looking like any other loitering pedestrian as Brendan alighted from his car.

The Irishman waited until his driver drove off before looking over at the lad and giving him the nod.

They didn't exchange a single word as they walked up to the first floor of the apartment. Not a glance or touch. However, once the door clicked shut they were off the starting blocks as if they were going for a world sprint record. Clothes were ripped off in haste. The kitchen island was host to heavy petting, hasty ass play and frantic blowjobs. The shower was forgotten in favour of instant gratification.

When they paused long enough to realise that the other wasn't going anywhere in a hurry, the pace settled into something akin to exquisite torture. It was beautiful. The tasting and kissing and smelling and feeling.

It continued until Brendan turned Caden around and told him to,

"Bend over."

He kissed the escort's shoulder and hair. He was so fucking delectable.

Caden placed his feet shoulder width apart and pushed his butt back up against Brendan's groin so that the taller man felt the swell of his butt cheeks against his cock. Caden twisted his neck round to stare at Brendan with lustful eyes. One of his hands grabbed his own arse cheek while the other held onto the edge of the kitchen counter. His chest rested on its surface.

Brendan had a soft spot for doggy style. It wasn't the most 'romantic' of positions but what it lacked in those terms it more than made up for with passion. And it could be intimate. Desperately so. At least that is how it had felt previously with Caden.

He reached for a cupboard. A cupboard that held a never used whisk, rolling pin, baking trays, cookie cutters, condoms and lube; the ingredients to all that was good and good in the world.

He slipped one on and squirted lube over the necessary. That was it for prep. Caden had had his education. As long as Brendan took his time the escort would accommodate him.

He guided the tip of his dick to Caden's hole and pushed in slowly, feeling the tightness and heat surround him as he penetrated deeper. He held the escort's hips steady. The lad's breathing quickened slightly but he remained still under him and concentrated on relaxing.

Brendan was engulfed by a million sensations as he ground in the last inch. His fingers crept between their bodies to feel where they were connected. So fucking hot.

He rocked into the lad savouring the feeling of being clung onto so deliciously. Caden moaned with every thrust, matching the sound of Brendan's pummelling. They turned Brendan on.

He kissed the lad and slowed his thrusts down.

Caden pushed himself off the counter and back, fucking himself on Brendan's dick.

The kid could power bottom. The signs had been there at the weekend with the way he had worked Brendan's dick. While Brendan preferred to be control between the sheets he was more than happy to relinquish the reins for Steven.

This could be fun in the long term. Caden taking control. Then Brendan. And back again.

Caden rushed a hand through Brendan's hair. Brendan wrapped his arms around the boy. He got a perfect profile of the escort's ecstatic face. Eyes closed. Mouth slightly open. Pants and groans escaping. Cheeks flushed.

The best view in the world.

Caden's heart was beating like crazy beneath his hand. Under the piercing that still elicited a slight hiss and purr.

He stuffed his nose into the lad's skin, inhaling the clean sweat and heady citrusy musk.

When his phone started to ring Brendan ignored it. The milking of his dick was far more important. He kept thrusting to meet Caden's own gyrations. It was like a slow dance. Embracing. Close. Visceral. Provocative. Exciting.

The phone stopped ringing for only a minute before ringing again.

Brendan's business mind kicked in. This could be from work. Something urgent. He needed to be contactable as CEO. Not skiving off the last few hours of the work day.

He stilled.

"No. Let it ring." The escort moaned but Brendan pulled out reluctantly.

He soundly smacked Caden's butt and breathlessly said,

"Don't go anywhere."

The escort fell forward tonelessly to rest his chest back onto the kitchen counter but kept his arse in place, taunting Brendan. He whispered, "I don't think I could even if I wanted to."

Brendan rushed to the phone.

The minute he saw who it was his erection deflated. He tugged off the sheath, picked up his suit trousers and covered his modesty. It was the least he could do even though the man wasn't in the room.

"Hi Ted." He said as he took a seat on the white couch.

"Brendan, I hope I haven't caught you at an inconvenient moment."

Brendan looked over the back of the couch at Caden who was now standing up and facing him from the kitchen island at the mention of Kilner's name. He wasn't even hiding the fact that he was eavesdropping. The escort's erection, unlike his own, was still there pointing proudly to the ceiling. When he realised that Brendan was looking at it, however, he covered it.

"No. Not at all."

"I'm going to cut to the chase." The old man said. "I can't say I was impressed by your use of violence against my son."

"I can't imagine you would be."

"You deviated his septum. He had to undergo corrective surgery."

"Please send me the bill. I'll pay for it."

_I am not going to say I'm sorry because I'm not._

"It's fine. We're covered and he'll live."

_More's the pity._

Ted continued, "Needless to say Fredrick is not best pleased with you."

Brendan rubbed his eyes. Fuck. Was the piece of shit going to press charges? Was that why Ted was calling?

"Ted, if you're calling to tell me that I can expect a visit from the police, then I would rather you just said so."

"Don't be ludicrous. I think we can contain the events of the weekend. The official line is that he fell while riding."

"Okay."

Why is he telling me this?

There was a long pause that Brendan felt obliged to fill given how awkward it was and because he had better things to be doing. Caden specifically.

The escort walked towards him.

"Ted, if you are ringing me because you are upset with me I understand. Freddy is your son. But I am not going to apologise."

"I am ringing to tell you that while I am saying on record that what you did was violent and unnecessary; off the record I would have done the same myself." Ted said. "You protect those you care for, Brendan. I can see that. We have that in common..."

_No. I don't._ Brendan thought. _You have no idea. I can't protect and I don't know if I am capable of caring for anyone enough. Selflessly._

"What's he saying?" Caden mouthed.

Brendan made the universal sign of ranting with his hand.

The escort hesitated for a second then slid onto Brendan's lap; side saddle. He put his arms around the Irishman's shoulders and rested their heads together.

"… It's a quality I value because it underpins how a man should conduct his life. He protects, cherishes and nourishes what is dear and precious to him. Everyone and everything…"

Caden was placing feather light kisses on Brendan's face, neck and hairline while his hands wondered over his body. He removed the pants that were draped over the Irishman's groin, dropped them to the floor and gave him a smile.

"Oops." He whispered into Brendan's uncovered ear.

Brendan swallowed hard and tried to concentrate on Ted's monologue that was still going full swing into his other ear.

"… I can tell that you would do me proud with the shipping property…"

Brendan removed Caden's hand from his dick.

"I'm sorry. What was that?" He asked Ted.

"Let me speak plainly, Brendan. I want to sell the Kilner shipping property to you."

"You're selling it to _me_." Brendan said incredulously.

Caden was smiling.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"At the price we discussed." Ted said. "You are lucky I like you young man. I am sure I could have gotten a better offer."

Brendan wasn't one to drop his poker face but had not seen that coming.

"Ted. I can guarantee you that you are passing your land to the right man."

"I am sure I am."

"Thank you. I am surprised. I won't lie."

"For future reference, you probably won't get the same result if you pull a stunt like yesterday with any other businesses."

The old man chuckled.

Brendan impulsively squeezed Caden close to him and gave him a kiss that was brief but passionate.

"I've fucking got it!" He whispered quietly against the lad's lips.

The rent boy smiled. "Congratulations."

"Excuse me?" Ted said.

"Oh nothing. That was …" Brendan put a finger to his lips to silence the lad.

"Was that Caden?"

Brendan faltered before saying. "Yes."

"He must be very proud of you."

Brendan looked at the escort. The look on his face looked a lot like pride but it couldn't be. One had to feel a level of possession and connection to feel pride.

He was smiling though. Loads.

"Yeah. I think he is."

The Irishman smiled back at the lad. That warmth that he felt over the weekend was back but now it took over his whole body. He was beginning to recognise it as a sensation he had banned himself from feeling.

Pure unadulterated happiness.

{~}

The minute Brendan got off the phone Ste tried to congratulate him properly but Brendan had other plans. He kissed Ste then effortlessly picked him up and carried him across the room towards the stairs.

There he paused, groaned and carefully put Ste down on his own two feet again.

"Fuck. I need to go to the gym more." He muttered wryly as he looked at the lad. "I was going to carry you up the stairs."

Ste kissed his sore biceps. "Save your energy for something more useful."

He led Brendan to his room but the taller man diverted him to the next bedroom on the corridor.

Ste hadn't gotten this far before.

"This is nice." He said as he took in the modern décor and soothing blue tones of the room.

"We're not here for the _feng shui_. There is a bathtub through there. No chandalier though." Brendan said as he pulled Ste to him. "Just saying."

He got Ste onto the bed on his back and the escort looked up at him.

"Do you want me to turn over? Get on my hands and knees?"

Goodness. Gracious. It was the way he asked it. Like a shot of Viagra straight into Brendan's dick.

"How do _you_ want to be?"

"I like it on my back."

"Yawn." Brendan teasingly whispered as he pushed off the lad to kneel between his legs.

"What do you mean, 'yawn'." Ste was offended but he could tell that Brendan was playing with him.

"Nothing." Brendan grabbed a condom and put it on. He couldn't stop smiling. "Lift your hips then."

He wedged a pillow under them and adjusted Ste's position to suit him.

"Nothing wrong with missionary." Ste said as Brendan rubbed some more lube onto him. He closed his eyes for a second to savour it and groaned. "It feels good. That is why it's so popular."

Brendan shuffled in and pushed in without warning or fanfare. Quicker this time.

Ste was shocked that he didn't hit the roof. He moaned and dropped his head back. He splayed his legs as wide as he could before wrapping them around Brendan's waist.

"Let's test that theory." Brendan whispered as he thrust into him.

The Irishman did what he did so well so Ste laid back and enjoyed the ride. It was nice to be led especially by someone as skilled as Brendan. He let his arms rest on the bed above his head and closed his eyes. He couldn't help the sounds he was making as Brendan entered him rhythmically. He dropped off the pillow but that didn't stop Brendan. The older man tossed the object aside as if it was offending him and pushed into Ste double time.

A thin film of sweat coated the Irishman's naked body as he plunged into Ste at an unrelenting pace. Ste opened his eyes hazily. This was beyond anything he had felt before. He lifted his head off the bed to watch the taller man's cock disappear into his tight heat.

"Keep doing that." He whispered heatedly. "Harder."

It felt good. So good. Better than good!

He wanted more so he grasped Brendan's arse with both his hands. "Please!"

Brendan responded like a piston; like a man possessed. Ste could do little more than hold on for dear life and get swept up in it all.

Brendan's low moan was followed by a sudden cessation of movement. He panted heavily and leaned forward so that they were chest to chest. His hands found Ste's and he intertwined their fingers. They were so close a leaf couldn't separate them.

"You feel incredible." He whispered and licked Ste's mouth. He pulled out of reach teasingly when Ste tried to get a proper kiss out of him. "You want a kiss?"

"Yes. Please."

The dark haired man languidly placed sloppy, sensual kisses over his chest, shoulder and jaw before finally reaching his destination.

Their kiss was slow and open. Ste's eyes fluttered shut, overwhelmed, as their tongues duelled and danced. The loss of sight only served to heighten the onslaught on his mouth and his ass.

He got distracted by Brendan's renewed efforts. The Irishman pushed into him, nice and slow. It felt familiar and new at the same time.

"I love how you feel in me." Ste sighed.

He loved how every fibre of his being was singing, how he was cocooned by Brendan's body, how he felt immeasurably safe in his arms even though there was little room for escape.

Why would he want to escape?

He couldn't move much but he wasn't complaining. Brendan's thrusts were mellow; deep, soul tingling rotations that made Ste instinctively match them.

As the pace started building up again, their kissing became less and less co-ordinate until it was just an exchange of air between lips.

Ste's eyes stayed closed in ecstasy.

"Open your eyes", Brendan breathed. "I want you to see."

"I can't. I'll come." The escort said. The statement made perfect sense in his mind.

He opened his eyes anyway only to fall into a sea of blue. He drowned in Brendan's sapphire gaze; logging every expression playing on his lover's face into his memory bank.

He was getting close to the edge. He reached for his cock but Brendan beat him to it. He stroked Ste in time with his pelvic gyrations.

Ste's inner muscles spasmed; clenching and unclenching involuntarily around Brendan's cock as he shot cum between their bodies. His violent shudders matched those of the Irishman who came just after him.

{~}

Brendan thought that he might die from the intensity of his orgasm.

He held onto Caden as his body shook and his chest heaved. A delayed shudder rushed through his body forcing him into short sharp jerks against the escort; pushing his dick deeper into him.

Caden moaned in response and jerked his spent cock lazily. "Yeah."

For a short while Brendan did not move.

"I think I'm going to need some help getting up." He muttered into the escort's neck.

Caden chuckled.

Brendan pulled out of him and then fell back on top of him.

"You're going to suffocate me." The escort giggled and rolled the Irishman off him and onto his back. He took the condom off Brendan and fisted the older man's still firm shaft using Brendan's own cum as lube. Tactile worship.

A thank you.

"Fuck! Careful. It's sensitive." Brendan hissed when Caden rubbed against the head. He pulled the escort up to kiss him with the last gram of energy he had.

"So what d'ya think?" Caden whispered with a smile on his face. "About missionary."

Brendan huffed out a sharp laugh as the escort lay down next to Brendan with a leg pulled over his own. He was still trying to catch his breath. "Give me a minute, yeah."

Caden's head rested on his torso. Brendan looked at his crown.

"Could have been a fluke. I'll let you know after next time."

{~}

"What a day." Ste sighed.

"Why?"

It took a minute for him to respond.

"You've got the deal with Kilner, ain't ya."

"Yeah."

Ste wasn't sure whether he should be sharing private information with Brendan but it felt right so he said, "And my mate, he has sold most of his paintings so I'm chuffed to bits. You know, the one you thought was my boyfriend at the art exhibition."

_And I am getting threatening mail but when I'm with you I forget about it and I don't feel freaked out._

"Doug."

"Yes." Ste felt fatigue set in. "He's awesome."

"He means a lot to you?"

"Yeah. He is one of my best friends so." He curled his arm around Brendan's waist and felt Brendan's arm hold him more firmly.

"Everyone needs one."

Ste closed his eyes. "You and me, we have seen each other every day for the last four days. Have you noticed?"

"Yes."

"You're going to be skint." Ste mumbled. "Seeing me all the time like this."

"I'll be fine. I've got deep pockets."

Ste was sure he could hear a smile in Brendan's voice. He looked over the Irishman's flat stomach; the dark hairs and pale skin. He watched a single tear of sweat fall slowly down the slope of Brendan's flank.

"Good." He yawned. "I should go now. I'm making the fish tonight."

He felt Brendan's lips on the top of his head. "You said that already."

"Oh yeah." He closed his eyes and without realising sleep crept up on him and took him.

{~}

"Brendan! Brendan!"

Brendan woke up slowly.

"Brendan?"

Shit!

That was Cheryl. She was in his apartment. He could hear her coming up the stairs. He sat up in bed.

Shit!

Why the fuck had he given her a set of keys?

He shook Caden awake. "Caden. Get up!" He hissed.

"What?" The escort looked disorientated.

"Chez! Go back down. I won't be a second." Brendan called out to his younger sister.

"Where are you?" Cheryl called out from his bedroom.

"Who's that?" Caden asked groggily.

It was too late.

His younger sister opened the door to the guest bedroom they were in to see Brendan up close and personal with a very naked and still slightly confused Caden.

"Oh my God! Sorry!" She said and kind of but didn't really cover her face.

Caden grabbed a sheet and completely buried himself under it.

Brendan shouted. "Get out, sis! Shit!"

Cheryl was trying to hide a smile.

"Sorry!" She closed the door and spoke through it. "I'll see you downstairs in a bit then, yeah. Do you and your friend want tea? I'm making."

"No!" Brendan shouted angrily.

"No. Thanks for asking." Caden mumbled, completely mortified at being caught.

"You're welcome."


	14. Cheryl- Part two

_**Dear all, **_

_**Thank you for all your reviews. Every single one ratchets that smile of mine up. I know how frustrating these two are making some of you. Sorry!**_

_**Here is the next chapter...**_

_**Chips X**_

**{~}**

Brendan's younger sister opened the door to the guest bedroom they were in to see Brendan up close and personal with a very naked and still slightly confused Caden.

"Oh my God! Sorry!" Cheryl said.

Caden grabbed a sheet and completely buried himself under it.

Brendan shouted. "Get out, sis!" Shit!"

"Sorry!" She closed the door and spoke through it. "I'll see you downstairs in a bit then, yeah. Do you and your friend want tea? I'm making."

"No!"

"No. Thanks for asking." Caden mumbled.

"You're welcome."

{~}

"Fuck." Brendan cursed repeatedly. He stood up and began pacing the room. He looked at the time. It was just after five pm. What the fuck was Cheryl doing here? "Fuck!"

"That's your sister?" Caden asked as he came up from under the bed sheet and pushed it aside.

He looked timid and was flushed with embarrassment. One arm embraced his middle barely covering his exposed body.

"For fuck's sake, put some clothes on."

The words came out in anger but it wasn't directed at Caden. Brendan was angry at Cheryl for dropping in unannounced and at himself for being so weak willed that he had seen the escort for four days in a row and got busted in bed with him by his own sibling.

"They're downstairs." Caden pulled the bed sheet towards himself again to cover up his lap.

He looked dismayed, hurt by the irritation in Brendan's voice.

It had not been Brendan's intention to upset the lad so he kept his voice mellow when he said, "Okay. Fine. Stay here. I'll get rid of her."

"You want me to _hide_ up here?" Caden whispered; not looking at him.

"Yes." Brendan said. "Until she's gone."

This way he could tell Cheryl to go and he and Caden could get back to doing what they had been doing, sleep. As unexciting as it sounded sleep was better than sex right now; more desirable and easier to do with Caden next to him.

"I can't expose her to this." He indicated between the two of them.

The escort's eyes widened.

Brendan couldn't afford to risk Cheryl finding out that Caden was an escort. He was also concerned that she would give away some personal information about his life to Caden.

Either way, he didn't want the two of them to talk to each other.

"Yeah. Of course. I understand." Caden got out of the bed and wrapped the bed sheet around his waist.

He tried to walk around Brendan, heading for the door without looking at him, but the older man stopped him; hands gripping upper arms.

"Where are you going?"

"I can be discreet, Brendan. I'm not going to blow your cover." Caden pushed Brendan's hands off him. "But I need to take a shower. Then I'll get dressed and go."

"Who said anything about going? You don't need to go. She's going."

Brendan could not get him to look him in the eye.

"No. I am." Caden shrugged and rubbed his arms as if it was a cold winter's day. "I've stayed longer than I should have anyway."

Brendan remembered the stupid fish that Caden was going to prepare for unspecified people. The older man wanted to restrain him; to keep him from leaving but that was ridiculous so instead he used words.

"I've got to cash up some money for you."

"Give it to me next time."

Caden tried to get round him again.

"I want you to stay." He blurted out.

That stopped the escort in his tracks.

Caden gave him the smallest of smiles and eye contact. Finally. Direct and probing eye contact. It felt as soothing as Caden's sandalwood scented massage and his warm human shower.

"You want me to stay?"

"Yeah." Brendan's smile was lopsided. He readied himself for a flat rejection. "Yeah. We haven't even said 'hi' properly yet, have we? You just tore my clothes off and had your wicked way with me without offering me a drink first."

Caden was trying to hold in a proper smile. "Shouldn't those be my words?"

"Maybe. So what do you say?"

The lad seemed to be battling with what to do. Stay or go. It was as if he had a commitment to honour and he was deciding whether it trumped the money he would earn by staying.

Brendan placed his hands on the lad's slim hips then pushed them under the sheet to touch the warm skin of his buttocks. He brought their bodies together.

Caden shook his head slowly. "I can't. I have … people… waiting for me, right."

_People?_

What people? Family? Friends? Clients? Fuck.

The green eyed monster within Brendan was growing to unmanageable proportions over the thought of the other seven men Caden confessed to sleeping with in the name of money. It made him feel like punching something.

Brendan held the lad closely and possessively because right now Caden was his and he could touch him if he wanted to.

"They can wait."

"Not tonight." Caden stroked a thumb over Brendan's stubbly cheek while his dulcet tone caressed Brendan's ear.

He leaned up to give Brendan a deep passionate kiss.

The idea came to the Irishman right then. It was a spur of the moment thing. He would probably regret it later but right now it made sense. It was something that could suit both him and the escort.

"I have a proposal." He whispered.

Caden looked confused.

"How many times a week do you take a call out?" Brendan asked.

Caden was taken aback by the question. His eyes dropped to the floor so Brendan lifted his chin up to force him to look at him.

"What do you make on average?"

"W-why do you w-w-want to know?"

"About £1000 a week?"

"It depends."

"I have a business proposal for you. A contract."

There was a flash of excitement on the escort's face. "Yeah? What did you have in mind?"

"What we have works, doesn't it?" Brendan said.

Caden hesitated then nodded with a small smile. "Yes."

"I want you to exclusively escort for me, Caden."

Caden's expression completely dropped. "What?"

He pulled himself out of Brendan's hold.

"I'll pay you whatever you would earn on an average week. In exchange I don't want you escorting for anybody else. I want you to work only for me."

It made sense, didn't it? This way Caden would be at his beck and call. Brendan wouldn't need to think about the others who vied for the lad's 'professional' attention. And it would be more convenient. He wouldn't need to scour the net or troll the clubs for hook-ups.

"Are you serious?"

"Like cancer."

Caden swallowed hard. "For how long?"

Brendan hadn't thought of that. How long did he not want Steven to fuck anyone else for? How long was a piece of string?

"At least until the ink on the Kilner deal has dried in case the old man wants another social get together."

It would take several weeks for the transaction to be finalised; weeks that he could justify having Caden on contract.

"I'm not sure." Caden wasn't warming to the idea. "That is asking me to put all my eggs in one basket. What if it all goes tits up? What if you change your mind in a week's time and I've lost all my other business. That leaves me with nothing."

The more he spoke the more Brendan realised that Caden wasn't just a hot piece of arse. He had a business mind; smart and calculating.

"I am a man of my word. One client. One considerable pay check." Brendan said. "Think about it and then come downstairs."

"Your sister…"

"I'll tell her you are a friend."

{~}

While Ste showered under the strong jet of hot water in Brendan's bathroom he thought about the proposition.

For a second he had thought Brendan was going to offer him a job at his place of work, wherever that was. How naïve and fanciful. Brendan knew nothing about his capabilities outside of the bedroom. No. Brendan didn't want to tap into his brain. He wanted Ste to solely escort for him.

In some ways it was ironic because Ste had yet to give his new work number out to his other clients so technically Brendan was already his only john.

In some ways it made sense to accept his offer. There was the guarantee of a steady income, the relative safety and acceptability of only having one sexual partner and he liked Brendan.

Exclusivity.

The question was whether he could cope with being Brendan's sexual play thing knowing it could never become anything more. The man's reaction to his sister catching him in bed with the escort had said it all. There was never going to be a time when he would see Ste as something other than a prostitute.

'_I can't expose her to this.'_

That had hardly filled Ste with feelings of self-worth.

No. Ste couldn't do it. He would feel too emotionally vulnerable. Amy was right. He couldn't make sex a purely physical act. Ever. Even with the Stanleys and Kevins of this world. Committing to a contract where he would only have sex with one man again and again, especially someone he already liked, was inviting emotional turmoil.

He dried off and picked out a pair of tracksuit bottoms and a t-shirt from Brendan's wardrobe. His clothes swamped Ste's body but it was better than going naked as he got past Brendan's sister to leave.

He started down the spiral staircase but stopped when he heard Brendan and his sibling speaking in hushed tones. He crouched down to see them sitting on the white couch facing each other so he could see their side profiles. They didn't notice his presence.

"… I went looking for you at the office but Paul said you were here."

"Fucking Paul."

"You never leave work early. What gives? Is that because of your boyfriend?" She gave him a cheeky grin.

"He is not a boyfriend, sis."

"You've skived off work for him. You've disappeared off the face of the earth for a month."

Brendan groaned. "I'm changing the locks. You are not getting in next time."

"Love you too." She sing-songed.

"Seriously, Chez-"

She pulled him into an embrace. "I really missed you, big bro."

There was a pause before Brendan hugged her back.

"Missed you too." He whispered.

"So why have you been ignoring me then? And ma and da?"

"I've been busy."

She pointed at the array of scattered clothes and the open condom wrapper near the kitchen island. "I can tell."

The utter shame. The evidence of Ste's sexcapade with Brendan was there for Cheryl to see. Seeing it brought it all back; made Ste's dick twitch and his arsehole throb.

"You told me you weren't going to sleep around and have one night stands." She looked disappointed.

"I'm not." Brendan said.

"Aren't you?"

"No."

"But you said he isn't a boyfriend."

"Jesus. Does everything need a label?"

"So who is he then?"

"A… friend."

"Has he got a name?"

"People tend to."

"Well?" Cheryl looked expectant.

"I'm not telling you. You'll probably put a GPS tracker on him… like you have on me." He raised an eyebrow.

Cheryl laughed and shoved him. "I haven't but it's a thought."

There was love there between brother and sister. It made Ste wish he had siblings or any family he could rely on; family that loved and missed him.

"Look. Sis, you being here now, it's a bad time."

"It's always a bad time for you but I haven't seen you in a month so I'm not going anywhere."

Brendan's head flopped back against the back rest of the couch in annoyance.

"I promise I'll call you tomorrow."

"No you won't." She made herself comfortable. "Is he coming down then? I want to meet him properly. I only got to see one bum cheek and a leg before!"

Brendan scowled. "He's having a shower."

"So what's he like then?"

There was a silence that dragged on. Ste held his breath waiting for the answer but none came.

"You really like him, don't you?" Cheryl said.

"No. We are…"

Ste ignored the stab in his heart at Brendan's quick negative response.

"Friends with benefits?" Cheryl ventured. "You must at least fancy him. Otherwise what are you doing with him."

Brendan glared at her.

"Okay, I'll change the subject. How have you been?"

"Fine."

"Really? I was worried about you."

"What do you want me to say? That I'm falling to pieces? I'm not."

"It's okay if you are, you know. It's understandable." Cheryl gripped his forearm. "We are all going through it, Bren. I miss Vinnie too."

Brendan suddenly stood up.

Ste, in reaction, stumbled backwards and tripped over the steps making a loud clang.

"Shit!" He groaned as his ankle twisted.

Brendan and Cheryl looked back and up at him so he limped down the stairs clumsily.

"Sorry. Hi." He mumbled.

Brendan looked at him as if assessing whether Ste had heard any of the conversation.

"Hiya, babe." Cheryl said as she walked up to him with a huge smile on her face. "You alright?"

"Yeah." He placed his weight on his foot. It was fine just a bit sore. "Yeah."

Cheryl stuck out her hand. "My name is Cheryl. Brendan's sister."

They couldn't be more different, brother and sister. Cheryl was bubbly, blond and busty. Brendan was calm, dark and lean. Brendan's eyes were blue where Cheryl's were a light chocolate brown. Right now hers were making an assessment of him. Scrutinising him from head to toe.

Ste took her hand. "I'm Caden."

"That's an unusual name."

"It's a nickname."

"I'm sorry I disturbed you earlier. I didn't know my brother had company otherwise I wouldn't have come."

Brendan rolled his eyes heavenwards behind his sister.

"It's okay. I was going anyway." Ste said.

He awkwardly put his shoes on, picked up his clothes and gathering them into his arms.

"You don't have to. I never get to meet Brendan's friends. Stay for a bit."

His underpants slipped out of his arms. He wanted the ground to swallow him up as Brendan picked them up and gave them back to him. He gave Ste a reassuring smile.

"I'll get you a bag." He said and proceeded to take the clothes from Ste and put them into a carrier bag.

"Thanks." Ste said, looking at him. "Right, then, I'll-"

He pointed at the door.

"Yeah." Brendan said. "Good luck with the fish."

"Thanks. I'll need it." He gave Brendan a dry smile.

"How are you getting home?"

"Taxi."

_Bus_.

"I'll order one for you." Brendan's phone was out in a split second.

Ste placed his hand over the taller man's stopping him from making the call. "It's okay. I'll flag one down."

In his sister's company even touching Brendan's hand felt too intimate so Ste put his hand down.

"What about your clothes." Ste touched the large grey t-shirt he was wearing.

"You can give them to me next time."

"Okay."

He walked to the door and opened it. Brendan was right behind him so he turned to face him.

"Thanks for the afternoon." Brendan whispered.

"You're welcome."

Brendan gave him a brief kiss. "Think about what I said."

"Okay." Ste felt goose bumps on his forearms from the intensity of Brendan's look. "Bye."

"Bye."

"Nice meeting you, Caden." Cheryl called out. "Guess I'll see you around."

"Yeah."

Ste had forgotten she was there.

Before the door closed he heard her whisper to her brother,

"Aw. Too cute. You two have it so bad for each other."

{~}

It was already starting to get dark as Ste stepped out onto the street and headed for the bus stop. He knew that Doug and Benji would be getting off work soon to get ready for dinner at his place. To avoid them he cut through a short and narrow alleyway to get to the bus stop on the street parallel to Watergate.

It was a careless move.

The two letters had said that the author was watching Ste. Doug had warned him to always be with someone he knew at all times to keep safe. He should have listened to his friend's words of advice. He normally did.

If he had he wouldn't have found himself in this situation; pushed from behind by strong hands until he collided against the dark wall of the alleyway. He was brutally turned around to face his assailant.

Kevin looked at him with menace as his hands pushed against Ste's body trapping him to the wall.

"Hello, Caden." He sneered angrily.

Ste shivered in fear.

"Guess where I spent the morning?"

Ste couldn't speak. He was petrified and his lungs were being crushed by the pressure on his chest.

"The police station. Do you want to know why?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Ste forced out.

Kevin pushed against him even harder, hurting Ste's ribs.

"Don't you?" He leaned in to whisper into Ste's ear causing him to shudder with terror. "I am not an idiot. They showed me the letters. Even with your name whited out I figured it was you… Ste."

"You know my name. How?"

Kevin growled. "You think I'm sending you death threats?"

Ste felt a tear track down his cheek.

"Please let me go."

"No." But Kevin released the pressure a little allowing Ste to breathe easier. "I want to know why you would think I would do something like that to you."

"Y-y-you are hurting me." Ste said, then rephrased. "You hurt me."

"I told you. That was role play. You consented. I helped you, Caden. I made you who you are. I set you up. Your business." He looked Ste up and down; at his ill-fitting attire and the open carrier bag that he had dropped to the ground. "You have just been to a call out, haven't you? I saw you leave that apartment round the corner." He sniffed the escort's slightly wet hair. "You've washed off the evidence."

Ste was trying to be strong but he could feel tears falling down his cheeks.

"If that questioning had gone anywhere it could have ruined me. Do you know that?"

"I didn't know what else to do. I asked the police to be discreet. I-"

"Shut up!" Kevin sneered. "Can you imagine what would have happened if the world found out that I had used your services?"

He rubbed his hand over Ste's chest slowly and then cupped his groin.

"No." Ste tried to push him off. Kevin's touch was repulsive to him . The big man restrained him once again at the level of his chest.

"They released me, Caden. The police. They apologised to me for the trouble and inconvenience."

Ste whispered. "Sorry."

"You should be."

"W-what do you want?"

Kevin's grin was demented.

"I wanted to talk to you. I saw you at the restaurant at lunch with your friends at the _Grosvenor_ ... where we used to meet." A single finger carressed Ste's cheek. "Where staff know you as one person but you came as another. You should warn your _mates_ not to throw your name around. Your real name. I heard them say it. Over and over again. Who knows who else heard them? I followed you. I waited for you to come out of that apartment. It was so easy. You made it easy, Caden. You are lucky I don't want to hurt you."

Ste quaked in fear.

"All I want to say is that I am not the person that wants you dead and I don't want you pulling a stunt like that again. Do you understand?"

Ste nodded quickly and Kevin let go of him completely and smoothed down his t-shirt.

"I liked you, Ste. A part of me still does. We had something, you and me. But now we are through."

With that he picked up the carrier bag, shoved it into Ste's arms and walked away.

{~}

"Ste, this is nice!" Doug said with a full mouth.

"Don't sound so surprised, babe." Benji said.

"I watched him make it. It's a dead easy recipe, right." Amy said. "You put the whole fish onto a piece of foil then you put all the ingredients on it and a splash of olive oil and seasoning. Then you bung it into the oven all wrapped up and this is what you get. That's right, Ste, isn't it? Ste? Ste?"

"Huh?"

"Earth calling Ste. Come in, Ste." Doug said.

"Sorry. I was miles away." Ste touched his chest. He was still feeling bruised from Kevin's attack.

"You okay?" Doug asked. "You've barely said a word."

"You've barely eaten." Benji chipped in.

"I'm still full after lunch." He said quickly. "I were the only one who had three courses, weren't I."

_I am not the person that wants you dead._

If it wasn't Kevin then who the hell was sending him the letters?

"You are looking a little pale. Something spooked you, buddy?"

"No. I'm feeling a bit under the weather that's all. I've probably picked something off the kids, ain't I."

"Maybe you should have a lie down." Amy said with concern.

"Yeah. That's a good idea. I think I might go to bed."

He made a move to stand up.

"Wait. Has this got to do with the police? I forgot to ask. Do they have news?" Doug asked.

"Um. Yeah." Ste said. "They say it's not Kevin."

"What?"

"They interrogated him this morning. It's not him."

"That doesn't make sense." Doug said.

"Who's Kevin?" Benji asked.

Ste, Amy and Doug answered at the same time.

"A piece of shit." Amy said.

"Creep that Ste met at Oracle." Doug said.

"No one." Ste said.

He said his goodbyes and walked up to his bedroom after a brief stopover in the children's room to make sure they were sound asleep.

He curled up in bed and shut his eyes.

He had been terrified when he faced Kevin but he believed the man when he said he was innocent. Kevin could have followed through with the threats in the letters if he was guilty but he hadn't.

Perhaps Ste should have told his friends about his earlier confrontation with his ex-client but it would have just made them scared for him without any benefit. It had happened. He had survived. He would move on.

His phone beeped. It was a message from Brendan.

_Sister is still here. Breaking my balls. Asking about you. Whiskey isn't numbing the pain. How was the fish?_

Ste smiled. He felt safe with Brendan. It was an odd sensation to feel around someone he barely knew but there it was.

Safety.

He could have done with that feeling right now.

_I got compliments. I think it's because my guests are still alive. They had low expectations. _

_: P_

He sent the text then typed,

_I have been thinking about your proposal. I have a condition. Every week I think we should re-evaluate whether we think our arrangement is working for both of us. Deal?_

He clutched his phone to his chest. When it beeped and vibrated he took a deep breath and looked down at the message.

_Deal_.


	15. Mary

**_Dear Folks,_**

**_Chapter 15 is the longest chapter yet *cracks knuckles, stretches back and rubs neck*(!) I could have probably split it into two but I couldn't find a natural break. Anyway. Here it goes. Highs and lows in this one. The 'M' is a small 'm' when compared to previous chapters..._**

**_hugs,_**

**_Chips_**

**_P.S. You may have noticed that I have changed one of the name's of Ste's clients. (Socio-political reasons...)_**

**_{~}_**

_-I have been thinking about your proposal. I have a condition. We re-evaluate whether we think our arrangement is working for both of us every week. Deal?_

He clutched his phone to his chest. When it beeped and vibrated he took a deep breath and looked down at the message.

_-Deal_.

He kicked off his shoes and crawled under his bedcovers, too tired to change into his bed clothes.

"Whatcha doing?"

Ste nearly yelped in surprise at hearing Doug's voice.

He tucked his work mobile phone under his pillow and turned around in bed to face his friend.

"Nothing." He rubbed his eyes. "Trying to sleep."

Doug fell onto the bed next to him. He looked at him point blank. "I saw you hide your phone away, Ste. You weren't subtle."

"Oh yeah. That. I were just checking my messages."

Doug lay on his back to make himself comfortable and studied the ceiling. "I came up to say bye. We're about to go."

"But you only got here an hour ago."

"Yeah but Benji's tired… or horny. I can't tell which. I'll find out when we get home." Doug turned his head to face Ste and smiled sweetly, "And our host has dumped us in favour of sleep which kinda killed the mood."

"Sorry."

"Fish was nice though."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Ste took the praise. "Thanks."

"Okay. What's up?" Doug said suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

"There is an air of melancholy about you. I feel like I'm talking to a Shakespearean tragedy and I don't like it."

"Told you. I'm not feeling well, am I."

"Are you sure that's it?"

"Well that and the fact that there is someone out there who wants me dead." Ste said bluntly.

"Yeah. Sorry." Doug chewed on his lip, ruminating. "Who do you think it is if it's not Kevin?"

"I was never sure it was Kev to begin with. I just… I don't know." Ste thought of the other _Dirty Dozen._ None of them seemed like likely candidates.

"Okay, I know you don't like talking about him but do you think it could be _him._" Doug looked at Ste pointedly.

"Who?"

"Caden."

Ste shuffled in discomfort at the mention of his ex's name.

"You've thought about it, haven't you?"

"Yeah. Course I have but he's out of my life now, int'he? I don't even know where he is. We're done."

"Maybe he isn't done with you. You should mention _his_ name to the cops."

"No!" Ste's reaction was sharp and abrupt.

He became fretful thinking about what would happen if he gave Caden's name to the police and his ex tracked him down. Previous experience had taught Ste that he wouldn't show the restraint that Kevin had exercised in the alleyway.

Ste couldn't run the risk of upsetting Caden.

"No. He is in the past. I've moved on now. I don't want to bring that all back."

"Didn't the police bring his name up? I mean, after what happened with him you'd have thought they'd put two and two together, right?"

"Doug, mate, I know you are trying to make me feel better but this isn't helping."

"Sorry."

Ste's phone started to ring. The work one under his pillow.

It could only be Brendan.

"Are you going to get that?" Doug asked.

'_I want you to exclusively escort for me, Caden.'_

"In a bit." Ste mumbled.

"Why? Is that the hickie maker?" Doug asked with a twinkle in his eye.

Ste nearly passed out. "Huh? Wha-"

Surely Doug didn't know about him still seeing Brendan?

"What's his name again? Fletcher?"

Ste internally sighed with relief. For a second he thought Doug had somehow found out.

"Oh. Yeah." He said evenly. "I mean, no. Maybe it's him but we aren't, you know, dating or going out or whatever. I told you. We're just friends."

"God, you are being so weird."

'_One client. One considerable pay check. Think about it then come downstairs.'_

"Am I?"

"Yes." Doug placed his hand on his friend's arm. "Hey, I'm here if you need. You know that, right? You can tell me about anything. Fletcher. The letters. Your kids. Jobs. Whatever. Don't keep shit bottled up."

Ste sighed.

Doug's words of advice #8-

"A problem shared is a problem halved."

"Okay." Ste said. "Fine. I do need a bit of advice."

"Shoot."

'_I have been thinking about your proposal. I have a condition. Every week I think we should re-evaluate whether we think our arrangement is working for both of us. Deal?'_

How was Ste going to tell Doug without _telling_ Doug about Brendan's proposal?

"So basically there is this job that I have been offered." He started.

"Are you shitting me?" Doug was grinning from ear to ear. "That's great, Ste!"

"Well. Yeah. Maybe. I'm not sure I should go for it. It isn't what I wanted or what I dreamed of doing with my life, you know?"

"Why? Is the pay shit?"

Ste paused for a second. "No."

"A bottom of the rung position?"

Ste pondered this. "I guess. In a way. But it's a job. I should just go for it. Beggars can't be choosers."

"Where is it?"

"In town."

"That's good. You'll be close to home. Can you work your way up the ladder?"

"I guess." _No. There is no ladder. _Ste looked his friend straight in the eye. "The job… it's not in IT."

"I'm working two jobs, one of which I am not interested at all, just to make rent and pay the bills."

"And treat Benji." Ste added.

"Yeah. That too." Doug grinned. "My point is you should at least consider the offer. It's not like you are committing to it for life. It's not the end of the road. It is just a way to make ends meet right now, yeah? One day you will quit it the way I'll quit the gallery and the coffee shop and we'll both do what we love to do full time. The jobs of our dreams."

"You think so?"

"Heck yeah." Doug winked at him. "We are far too talented to fail."

"Honestly, sometimes I think it's not going to happen for me."

"Nonsense. Make an opportunity for yourself. You don't need a boss. Be your own boss. Set up a website advertising what you do. You can even link it up to the coffee shop and gallery websites to demonstrate your skills. But not for the escorting site even though it's really well designed! You going to do it?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"More confidence."

"Yes. Okay. I'll do it."

"Better."

Ste laughed and Doug pulled him into a hug. There wasn't much to Doug but his hugs were always comforting. Solid. Ste sighed into it and closed his eyes just as his bedroom door opened.

He and Doug looked to see who it was.

"What are you guys up to?" Benji asked looking between the two of them in confusion.

"Hi, babe. Come in." Doug said with a smile.

"Sit down." Ste patted an empty spot on the bed.

"This looks cosy." Benji said quietly and pointed at them in bed. He stayed standing. "I thought you were going to say bye to Ste. Quickly."

Doug sat up in the bed and reached for his boyfriend's hand. "Yeah I was but then we got chatting."

"It's my fault. I was bending Doug's ear about my joblessness. Sorry." Ste gave Benji a small smile which the student eventually returned.

"Well we have to go. I hope you feel better soon." Benji said to him and pulled Doug to standing.

"Yeah. Thanks."

Benji placed a lingering kiss on his boyfriend's cheek while looking at Ste. "Say bye to your friend, Doug."

"Bye, Ste." Doug said. He had a huge grin on his face as he was dragged out of the room by his boyfriend. "He's horny." He mouthed to Ste over his shoulder just before closing the door behind him.

With his friends gone Ste could ruminate in peace. Doug had a point. Saying yes to Brendan's proposal wasn't committing to something long term but it did provide a practical short term solution to his current financial situation. And he could also try and set up his own business website. What was stopping him?

He checked his phone. As predicted it showed a missed call from Brendan so he rang him back, feeling the rapid knock of his heart against his ribcage. Brendan picked up after a few rings.

"Caden."

"Hi. Yeah. I'm just returning your call." He said. "I, I would like to accept your offer if it's still on the table."

"It's still on the table." There was a smile in Brendan's tone. "So can you come over tomorrow after work?"

{~}

Brendan was breathless and coming down from a climax. Completely legless. Head like mush.

This was sex at its best.

Caden continued to ride him, a picture of ecstasy. The escort had cum a few minutes ago but he had continued to fuck himself on Brendan cock until the older man had joined him on the other side. He slowly rotated his hips over Brendan's groin, moaning at how deep the older man was in him, holding Brendan's hand while it rubbed over his slim cum-soaked chest and abs, over warm skin, sensitive nipples and heaving ribs. Brendan took in Caden's passionate face then tracked his eyes down to where they were connected; where his groin was flush with the escort's arse. He took hold of Caden's spent cock.

It was becoming hard again. Already.

The lad's smile was dazed.

"Sorry." He leaned down to kiss Brendan. "I couldn't hold out."

Brendan had to laugh. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Caden wrapped his arms around Brendan, bringing their bodies together and whispered, "I want to go again."

He emphasized his meaning by gyrating on Brendan with more purpose.

It was futile. Brendan was spent. Out of action. "I ain't no Duracell bunny, Caden. Give us a minute."

He pulled out his near flaccid sheathed cock and rested it against the lad's arse.

"Okay." Caden said with a hint of disappointment.

Fuck. The escort was hard to resist. Brendan supposed he could give the lad a blow job while he recovered and then they could crack on with round two.

He pushed Caden onto his back and kissed him. Then he tongued the escort's neck and shoulders tasting the salty warm skin.

"You have no business having freckles." He murmured.

"I know." Caden relaxed back as he felt Brendan's hands, mouth, tongue and body on him. "They just showed up one day."

Brendan traced over the scar on Caden's lower stomach. The one that matched Cheryl's appendicectomy one.

Caden pushed his hand away slowly and whispered, "I had an operation awhile back."

"Thought so."

Caden pulled him in for a deep kiss then whispered, "Are you going to point out all my flaws? Make me feel self-conscious?"

"You have nothing to feel self-conscious about." Brendan dragged his fingers over the lad's tattoo. He gave it small kisses along its length and watched as it writhed with the escort's movements.

Brendan was dying to ask what it was about; what pain the lad had suffered and why he had felt it merited a permanent imprint on his skin that reminded him to gain strength from the experience.

Brendan couldn't probe though. It wasn't his business. It wasn't why they were in his bedroom with the light fading fast outside on a weekday evening.

A otherwise featureless Tuesday.

So he used Caden's own cum to give him a hand job.

"I think we should make it formal." Caden said quietly so Brendan looked up at him. "Our contract. We should have it on paper. Just to make things clear."

Caden sat up, pulling himself away from Brendan. He hugged his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on his knees.

Brendan was speechless. Where the fuck had that train of thought come from? Why did the escort think that this was a good time to bring up the matter of their contract?

"Now?" Brendan asked.

"Yes. They're supposed to be signed at the beginning, like before anything happens, int'it?" Caden leapt out of bed and picked up a pen and printer paper before climbing back into bed.

"Bit late for that, isn't it?" Brendan said drily. He had already had him once today. "Come here and I'll jack you off."

"Not yet." Caden said earnestly.

The escort sat cross legged; serious all of a sudden. He would have looked like he meant business were it not for the fact that he was stark bollock naked with his junk dangling between his legs, cum covering his stomach and the paper resting on a naked thigh as a writing surface.

He started to write so Brendan wiped his hands on the bed sheets looked on.

_Sex Contract_

_This contract is for the exclusive personal services of Caden (from now on called 'the escort') for the services described below, made this day 06/10/2012 between Brendan (from now on called 'the client') and the escort. The escort agrees to carry out sexual activities as outlined below with the client alone during the period of time that he remains under contract._

_1. Sexual activities-_

"Who uses pen and paper now-a-days?" Brendan mumbled and got out of bed to bring back his laptop.

If Caden wanted this written contract then Brendan was going to do anything to facilitate writing it up as quickly as possible so that they could get backto having sex.

He typed rapidly, transferring what Caden had written onto the computer.

Caden shuffled up to sit next to him, hunching over his shoulder to look at the screen.

"Type of service?" Brendan said.

"Um. Well, I guess, kissing. Right?"

"Do you want to be more specific?" Brendan said with a smile. This could be fun. Sex talk under the pretence of a legal and binding document. Erotic almost.

"Like how?"

"Where? Face? Body parts? Any no go areas?"

"Um. No. I don't think so."

"And with what? Lips? Tongue? You okay with light biting? Nibbling? Love bites."

He touched over the bruise that he had inflicted on Caden's neck. He knew what the escort's answer would be already.

Caden blushed. They had done all of the above so,

"Yeah. All of it." Caden whispered and leaned in for a kiss.

"Not yet." Brendan said, giving the escort a taste of his own medicine. "You want to get this done, don't you?"

Brendan typed. _All types of kissing._

"Touching too." Caden said. "With our clothes on or off… if you want."

"I want."

"I-, uh, you can put that you can touch me anywhere." Caden's cheeks went red as he subliminally sidled right up to Brendan, moulding himself up to the man. "But I know you don't want me to touch your bum."

He ran a single finger over one of Brendan's bare globes.

"Damn right." Brendan grinned momentarily. "What else. Giving and receiving blow jobs. Getting your butt eaten out. You go crazy for that, don't you? You can throw on a condom on if you want. Your call." Brendan was matter of fact as he typed. "Genital to genital contact. Getting penetrated by my fingers and my cock. That's got to go in the contract. I'll always bag up."

Caden was beetroot red now.

"How about sex toys? Dildos, vibrators, butt plugs?"

The escort was so embarrassed he couldn't reply.

"No?" Brendan said.

"Actually. It's okay, Brendan. We can keep our agreement verbal."

"You getting all shy on me now, Caden?"

_Steven_.

"No."

"You should have a word with you from a few minutes ago. That man was shameless." Brendan whispered, "At one point you told me to, and I'm quoting here, 'Fuck me hard, Brendan. Stop fucking kissing me and fuck me properly.' Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

Caden let out an uncomfortable laugh. "Heat of the moment."

How did the lad do that thing; seem worldly and shy at the same time? It was a combination Brendan found hard to resist.

"I love that about you." He whispered.

There was a moment of awkward silence between them. Love was too strong a word. It had slipped out unchecked. By mistake.

It was what Brendan liked about Steven.

Liked.

"So how many fingers?" He said to break the quiet.

"Huh?"

"One, two, three, four?" He gave Caden a sly smile. "The full knuckle sandwich?"

"Brendan! Gross! No!"

"Okay! What else? Massages? Stripping? Yes and Yes. Travel companionship."

"Yes."

"Good." He typed. "Now we are onto place of engagement."

_2. Place of engagement- Chester, Liverpool. Any other locations to be agreed beforehand and both escort and client to be in full agreement._

_3. Date for re-evaluation of contract- _

"Today's a Tuesday so shall we say every Tuesday?"

"Yes."

_4. Wage agreed upon- £2000 (basic) to be paid on a weekly basis at the start of the contracted week. _

_5. Additional agreements. Extra fees may be applicable if place of engagement is out of Chester and Liverpool and if sexual activities are without those determined in this contract. Fees are to be agreed before engagement._

Caden asked. "Have you done this before? Drawing up this sort of contract?"

"I've drawn up contracts but none like this. I can assure you." Brendan said. The next section he put in as much for the escort's benefit as for his.

_6. Sexual health- Condoms to be used always. An up to date health screen to be available to both client and escort on demand._

Caden looked at the screen. "What about recording?"

"What about it?"

"Like if you wanted to film us, you know, like doing it, I would only want you to keep it for your personal use. That's it."

"I don't need to record you." Brendan said.

"I'm just saying."

"I'm not in the business of distributing homemade porn, Caden."

None the less he typed,

_7. Any recording of the escort engaging in sexual acts with or without the client shall be for the personal use of the client alone. _

_8. Both client and sex worker are of legal age and are able to enter this contract._

_9. Any violation of the items in this contract will result in immediate termination of the agreement as well as potential legal repercussions._

_10. Name of escort (print) and signature-_

_11. Name of client (print) and signature-_

Brendan saved the document and was about to print it when he was stopped by Caden.

"Wait. This exclusivity. Does that just apply to me?"

Brendan looked at him curiously.

"I mean, _you_ will still be able to carry on doing who, I mean, what you want. Right?"

Brendan's brows creased. That had been a Freudian slip from the escort. Caden's concern was ironic. _He_ was the prostitute. Brendan's only other sexual partner for months had been that look-a-like hook up from the gay bar.

"Why is that important?" He asked as he put the laptop to one side and turned his full attention to the lad.

Enough bullshit. He was charged up and ready to fuck again.

"It isn't." Caden said quickly. "No. I'm just… I want everything to be clear."

God. He looked hot. Brendan gently traced his thumb over the lad's lips.

"Let's print this out later."

"Okay."

He pulled the lad closer to him. He felt the goose bumps that came up, the shudder of need, the way the escort responded to him.

"Now where were we?" He whispered.

Caden took hold of Brendan's hand and dragged it down his treasure trail towards his groin. Brendan grabbed his dick.

"Yeah." Caden sighed. "Somewhere there."

{~}

Sex.

It was ninety-nine present of what they did together. The baths, showers and massages, the lie-ins while listening to Motown tracks, the conversations, the late night snacks and playful banter, the meals out. They were all secondary to sex; side effects of how much time they spent together when Brendan wasn't working.

Side _attractions_ as far as Ste was concerned but they weren't why Brendan paid him. He wasn't looking for romance.

That is why Ste had wanted a formal contract between them. It concentrated the mind, his mind, and made things crystal clear.

Every Tuesday they committed to another week together. The businessman took care to blunt the insult of the occasion. They would quickly agree that they still wanted to keep going with their contract and Brendan would leave the cash for the coming week by the main door of the apartment so that Ste could pick it up on his way out without the humiliation of a palm to palm exchange.

They saw each other almost every day. Ste felt that time flew by so quickly. This was going to be their sixth week together on contract if Brendan was still happy with their arrangement.

Ste dreaded the day where Brendan would call the whole thing off.

"_The paperwork on the Kilner deal has finally come through, Caden. So I don't need you anymore."_

"_The thing is I'm tired of you. You're old news. I'm getting another escort."_

"_I've changed my mind about having a relationship. I have met someone and thought you should know. I want to try and make it happen with him."_

Ste hoped that when the time came Brendan would let him down gently.

"_It's over, Caden. It's been fun but life moves on."_

Whichever way it was going to happen he knew, beyond doubt, that he would be heart broken.

{~}

Amy walked into the kitchen that Tuesday morning carrying mail. She joined Ste and the kids at the dining table where they were eating the breakfast of champions, porridge. The Barnes-Hay clan was dressed and ready for the day ahead.

She rifled through the letters and distracted Ste from his thoughts.

"We have mail." She said.

"Santa, mummy?" Lucas said hopefully.

"No, honey." Amy smiled at him. "Not yet. But if you continue being good like you are you will definitely get a letter from him this Christmas."

He gave her a huge grin.

"Me too?" Leah asked.

"Definitely." Ste said. He stroked her hair. "Keep eating, guys. We have to leave soon."

They obediently tucked into their food once again.

"More bills, Ste." Amy said sadly.

"I'll handle it." He smiled at her serenely, took the pile of letters off her and put them down on the table next to him. He picked up his spoon and pushed it into his porridge.

"How? We have no money left." Amy asked him anxiously. "And the rent's due next week."

"I've been picking up a load of shifts at the wine bar, haven't I? We're fine. Trust me."

Amy looked at him with scepticism.

What she didn't know was that for the first time ever he was earning enough money to be able to put a small amount into savings. Not loads but it was a start. Three accounts. Two for his children's future and one for 'unforeseeable disasters' for the family as a whole. Brendan had given him a level of financial security that Ste had never enjoyed before.

Amy said, "If you are sure. I should be able to contribute a little-"

"Ames, I said I'll handle it. Anything else?"

She smiled softly. "Yeah. A couple of normal letters."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Not _that_ kind of mail." She said quickly then looked at their children.

"Okay." He shrugged.

"Have you put mood lifters in your breakfast or something?" Amy asked.

"Why?"

"Nothing is phasing you today. I haven't seen you this content in ages."

"I'm normal." He couldn't make eye contact with her. Even as he said it he knew he was lying. In many ways she was right. In recent weeks he had felt calmer, more centred and happier even with some serious shit going on.

"Hasn't daddy been acting really happy recently?"

"Yes." The children chorused.

Ste smiled. "You're using the kids to gang up on me?"

"I'm not." Amy giggled. "But I can see why you feel a weight off. We haven't had any more sad letters."

"Sad letters?" Leah asked.

"Just letters with sad stories in them, monster munch." Ste said.

"You should tell whoever is sending sad letters to send you a happy one instead." Leah said wisely.

"Why didn't I think of that, huh?" He smiled at her. "Okay, guys, I'm going up to get my bag and then we can all head off to school."

He took the day's mail with him. When he got to his room he stuffed them into the only farewell present he had retained from his clients; the brown leather satchel from Farid. His old black cloth satchel would have invited questions from Doug and Amy. They would immediately have assumed he was back on the game which he was but they didn't need to know that.

Just like they didn't need to know that he was still getting hate mail but that he got up very early every single morning to sift through the mail in the letter box and stuff the malicious letters at the bottom of his underwear drawer before the rest of the house got up.

Always a tan envelope. Always a printed message within. Always a warning that the perpetrator was watching him.

Doug and Amy didn't need to know that because it would worry them when nothing could be done about it.

Ste wasn't stupid. He had kept the police informed. They claimed empathy but had thus far failed to home in on a suspect.

He filled his satchel with things he might need when he saw Brendan later. A clean top, a fresh pair of socks, deodorant, his massage oils, condoms in Brendan's size, lube, chewing gum, a comb, an apple (Doug's advice, for sustenance), a couple of sex toys, a pair of spare underwear.

By the time he got back downstairs Amy and the kids were ready to go. They bundled into Ste's car looking every inch the normal family.

"I'll pick the kids up from school." Amy said as she put her seatbelt on. "Lee's coming over tonight."

"That's nice." Ste looked straight ahead. "I've got a late shift at the wine bar so I won't be home while late."

"Is there any business coming through on your website?"

"It's only been up and running a couple of weeks. I've had a few queries but nowt else." He pulled out of the cul-de-sac.

"At least that's a start, right?" Amy grinned as she put her bag between her legs. "Oh look."

She brought up the old grey bunny that he had put under the passenger seat weeks ago. It was their son's favourite toy since birth. The one that Brendan had found when he had driven Ste from the countryside back to Chester.

Amy showed the stuffed toy to their son. "Look what I found, Lucas!"

"Bada!" Lucas screamed excitedly as Amy reached round to give it to him.

"Bing!" Leah, Amy and Ste said simultaneously and then smiled contently.

{~}

Brendan had entered real estate development by chance. He had started back in Ireland at the tender age of twenty-two soon after separating from Eileen after only two years of marriage.

In retrospect the marriage had been a mistake. He had done what any man worth his salt would have done when extramarital sex resulted in pregnancy in a strict Catholic environment. Eileen had ended up having a miscarriage but the marriage stayed. All Brendan had ever felt for his wife was a deep friendship not unbridled lust or all-encompassing love.

Eileen realised that soon enough. Brendan's initial determined efforts to be intimate with her faded until she had resorted to cajoling, shameless flirting and begging to be touched.

Divorce was granted three years after their separation. During that time Brendan bought her share of the house they had lived in, renovated it and sold it at a considerable profit only to purchase two more.

Over time two became four. Four became seven. Seven became a large building in the heart of Dublin. His big break. That was when he met Walker. His 'partner in crime'. His onetime fuck buddy.

He made the move across the Irish Sea on Simon's suggestion. Commercial and industrial properties joined the domestic properties on his portfolio.

He was clever, hardworking, reading the market, taking advice, surrounding himself with the right people, making the right choices.

Even so the wealth he had accumulated had never featured in his wildest dreams. He now had a multimillion pound property development company with an enviable portfolio which included private homes, hotels, shops, malls, commercial buildings and companies.

Deals like the Kilner shipping property was what kept Brendan at the top of his game.

He rounded up his troops in one of the meeting rooms of his company's headquarters. There was a buzz of excitement in the office. Rumour had it the Kilner deal had been finalised.

Rumour was true. Six weeks after the verbal nod the day had come.

Paul was sitting to his right of the oval table taking minutes. Phil was on his left.

Brendan smiled, a rare occurrence in the office unless it was dry or sarcastic, and said,

"I have good news, guys. This morning we officially closed the Kilner deal."

There was a ripple of applause and voiced congratulations.

"Well done everyone for all your hard work." He said. "But, as you all know acquisition is just the beginning. We need to swiftly move onto marketing, building development and design. Phil is going to float some ideas on the direction to take. I would value your opinions."

Phil referred to his notes. "Yeah. My team has been researching current market trends and we have compiled a dossier on our three top recommendations including marketing strategy, suggested structure and design and financing. You should each have a copy in front of you."

Brendan opened the dossier and leafed through it.

"Essentially our suggestions are a luxury 'resort-style' hotel complete with beach view, high spec glossy apartments or a retail mall."

Brendan was disappointed. "The mall is out. We already have Liverpool _ONE_. We will struggle to compete with ourselves."

"I like the idea of a resort hotel. It provides an alternative to the holiday abroad." One of his emplyoees said.

"But with shit weather." Brendan said drily. "Think again. What's the point in palm trees and an outdoor swimming pool if you can only use it for a week every year?"

Phil looked despondent.

"And the city is swamped in apartment complexes." Brendan added.

"You don't like any of the ideas?"

"No. The apartments aren't bad but we would need to think hard about how to make them different. I'll have a look at the numbers, Phil, and get back to you. Wendy, can we get the property levelled for now and put barriers around it?"

"Sure."

"John, have a word with the council and city planners. Let them know our intentions. Right, what's the next order of business?"

"Staff recruitment."

{~}

With the kids and Amy dropped off at various educational establishments around Chester Ste made his way to the coffee shop.

He sat down at his usual seat.

The minute Doug spotted him the American bee-lined towards him.

"Hey, where's Benji?"

"In lectures." Doug said. "Look, dude, I think Benji's jealous of you."

"What!"

"Seriously." Doug sat down next to him. "He keeps saying that he thinks we are too close. He asked me whether we have ever hooked up."

"Ugh! No! That would be like doing it with my brother!"

"Less of the gross face please but yeah. Exactly. That's what I said. Anyway he has gone all paranoid so like maybe we could ease up until he calms down."

Ste frowned. "That's silly. You're my best mate."

"And he is my boyfriend, Ste. I don't want to upset him. I'm already keeping a shit load of stuff from him for your sake. Please do this for me."

"What do you mean 'ease up'?"

"Less of the hugs and the hanging around all the time, I guess. Just for a bit."

"Oh. Okay. If you want." That was pretty much what made their whole relationship. The hugs. The hanging around.

"Thanks." Doug grinned and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "So what's the latest on Ste Hay Inc."

"Nothing."

Doug took the notebook and typed in a search. Ste's website for his new IT business came up.

"Nice, Ste! Eye catching. If you want I can put some of your business cards on the counter here and at the gallery."

"That would be good. Thanks."

"I should get back to work but we'll talk in a bit, alright?"

Ste nodded and took out the mail from his bag. He set aside the bills and looked at the two other letters.

One was from the Police department.

_Dear Mr Hay,_

_I am writing to inform you that we have still not been able to find the perpetrator of the malicious communications you have been receiving. We are working hard to get to the bottom of it._

_In the meantime please find included ways in which to keep you and your family as safe as possible as well as a help line should you have any queries or concerns. L.A.F.T. is a charitable organisation that helps victims of malicious communications which you may find useful. Please find their leaflet enclosed._

_Kind regards,_

_Sue Rollins_

_Detective chief inspector _

Great. So nothing new there. He opened the next letter. As he read it his eyes widened and his lips curled into a grin.

"Oh my God!" He whispered. "No way."

Doug looked over to him. "What is it?"

"I've got a job interview this week!"

{~}

Ted called Brendan's mobile at lunchtime somewhat unexpectedly.

"Brendan, are you free to talk?"

"Yes, Ted."

"Very good. You must be a very happy man today."

"I am. Thank you for pushing through the paperwork so efficiently. You have given people here cause for celebration."

"Well, I know I made you work for the deal so it was the least I could do."

There was silence then the old man said, "This is the point where you invite me to a thank you dinner, young man."

"Excuse me?"

"My schedule tonight is clear so shall we say seven o'clock? Your place?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. We must celebrate good news."

"I can't cook."

"I'm sure Victoria said that Caden could."

"He can't. He was worried he would poison some dinner guests with that fish we caught at your place."

"Ha!" Ted barked a laugh. "Never mind. You are a bright man. You'll come up with something. Catering, I suspect. It's just going to be Victoria and me. Nothing too fatty, please. Doctor says my cholesterol is too high."

"Ted, this is very short notice."

"I know. See you later."

The phone call ended.

_Shit._

This meant three things-

One. Caden and he would have to do the boyfriend act again. That would need negotiating since it wasn't in their contract.

Two. The evening opened up another opportunity for the true nature of their relationship to be revealed.

Three. Caden would realise that the Kilner deal was finalised. That would mean that Brendan would have no valid reason to keep Steven as an exclusive escort.

Brendan would have to let him go or accept that he was a free agent again or make up some excuse for keeping the contract going.

He hated all three options but he was left with no choice but to text Steven.

_-Ted and Victoria Kilner are coming round for dinner tonight. Last minute. The old man has invited himself. I need you to role play again. Please. Boyfriend stuff. I'll pay you extra. Name the price._

Caden replied.

_-No charge. You pay me too much as it is._

Ridiculous. No one worked for free. Brendan would settle on a price later. His phone beeped again.

_-What time do you want me?_

What a loaded question. The answer was 'all the fucking time' but Brendan typed,

_-Six o'clock._

_-I'm wearing a jumper, jeans and trainers. Is that too casual?_

Yes. In a nutshell.

"Paul!"

Brendan's PA ran into the office. "Yes."

"Call Mary. Tell her to go to my apartment and give it her gold treatment. Fresh flowers. The works."

"What's the occasion?"

"Dinner party. Kilner and his wife are coming over."

"I'm sorry. Did you just say a _dinner party_ in _your_ home?"

"Yes."

Paul looked gob-smacked. "Okay."

"Call one of the local five star restaurants and see whether they are willing to cater for four people at short notice."

"Four people?"

"Have you had a stroke? Why are you repeating everything?"

"Sorry."

"It needs to be good food."

"Yeah. Not a problem."

"One more thing. I need you to buy an outfit."

"Huh?"

"Something smart casual. I'll give you size details."

{~}

_- I've sorted something out. See you later. BB_

Ste read the message and smiled. He was looking forward to the night. He liked the Kilners (except Fredrick) and he could play make believe if only for one night.

Being Brendan's boyfriend. He texted,

- _Later xx_

He put his phone down and picked up his job interview letter again. He had applied for this particular job fully expecting a rejection even though the job description matched him perfectly. If, by some miracle he got the job, he would have no reason to continue with his arrangement with Brendan.

That should have made Ste happy because, as Doug said, he was following his dream. Instead the thought of not seeing Brendan again left nothing but a void in his heart.

{~}

The door to the apartment was open when Ste got there so he made his way up.

He was taken aback by its transformation. Usually it was quiet and meticulously kept; just him and Brendan and monochrome. The only sounds other than theirs were of the occasional background music. Otis. Temptations. Four tops.

Today three men in chef's whites were working hard around the kitchen island. There were used pots and pans and raw ingredients everywhere and all six hobs were on. The smells were incredible but it looked like a disaster zone to his untrained eye.

"Hello, sir." One of the cooks said to him while rapidly dicing some carrots.

"Hi." Ste looked around for Brendan. He wasn't there. Cushions that he had never seen before were plumped up and on the couches, candles that had never been lit before glowed brightly on the window ledges and mantelpiece, flowers as big as human heads were carefully arranged in vases. The curtains were pulled back revealing darkening skies and street lighting through the French windows and balcony.

The room actually looked warm and inviting.

A middle aged stout woman was busying herself around the dining area; setting the table and arranging more flowers as a centrepiece.

She took one look at him and beamed from ear to ear as if he was her long lost son. He knew who she was immediately from Brendan's description.

'_If Mary looked like you she would never get any work done but she is three times your age, has a limp and a mole on her face with a hair growing out of it.'_

"Hi, you must be Mary." He extended his hand for a handshake.

"Oh my Goodness!" She grinned at him, wiped her hands on her overall and grabbed his face between her hands causing his lips to purse up and his glasses to go a little wonky.

"It's you!" She said enthusiastically.

This was awkward. Was she demented or something? Had she mistaken him for someone else?

"Um, I'm not sure."

"The glasses!" She said in her strong Liverpudlian accent. She took her hands off him so he stretched out his mouth and adjusted his lenses.

_She's mad,_ Ste decided.

"Brendan's right. They do suit you. You look adorable."

"Did Brendan say that?"

"Not in so many words but you know Brendan. Says only what he is comfortable saying. Not a word more. What he means is as much in what he does as in what he says. He was fretting about giving you them. He probably worried that you would see the gesture as too big. The softie."

_He got them because he wrecked my old ones, old mad lady._

"This is embarrassing but he hasn't told me your name."

"Caden."

"Caden. I'm glad my boy has allowed his heart to thaw and let you in, Caden. You are just what the doctor ordered."

Ste smiled politely.

"He is upstairs by the way. He said he feels like his house has been overrun. You know how he gets."

Ste smiled. "Yes. This," He pointed at the commotion, "Is his worst nightmare, int'it. People."

"He doesn't know I saw him sneak up a bottle of Jamieson's… without a glass. I am not sure why but I don't think he is particularly happy tonight. He seems stressed to me. Please stop him from getting drunk before your guests arrive? Now that you are here he doesn't need Dutch courage to unwind."

On re-analysis, maybe Mary wasn't mad. It was obvious she cared for Brendan.

Ste didn't find Brendan in his room or in the adjacent guestroom so he called out to him before he could be accused of snooping around.

"Brendan?"

"Upstairs."

Ste walked up to the fourth and final floor of the apartment. The loft space had been converted into a home office and Brendan was sitting at the desk.

It was piled high with neat stacks of paper but he wasn't working. He took a swig of liquor straight from the near full whiskey bottle that he was nursing on his lap.

"That's classy." Ste said pointing at the bottle in Brendan's hand.

Mary was right. Brendan appeared morose and subdued.

"Come in and shut the door."

"Are you hiding?" Ste asked as he put his satchel down.

"Yes. Something scary has happened to my apartment. Haven't you noticed? There are people in it."

Ste smiled. "It's called life."

"I don't like it."

Ste snatched the bottle from him. He took a small sip of the liquid. As it made its way down his gullet he winced in distaste.

"I don't get hard liquor." He said.

Brendan looked at him for a long time. It was disconcerting.

"Come here." The Irishman whispered eventually.

The escort approached him. He bent down to give Brendan a brief kiss; closed mouthed. Then he grinned at his client.

"Hi."

Brendan grabbed a handful of his jumper and dragged him onto his lap. "That's not a proper goodbye."

Ste frowned. "You mean, hello."

"Yes."

He pulled Ste into a deeper kiss; the kind that put everything else in life on hold including the need to breathe or to hold onto a whiskey bottle.

Ste nearly dropped it but managed to put it on the desk before getting back to the kiss.

His lips parted to allow their tongues to meet. Their bodies crushed together. He heard a whimper escape his throat as Brendan possessed him completely, starting him on a journey that they could not complete now, not with people downstairs and with guests on the way.

They parted breathlessly.

"That's hello." Brendan whispered before laying a lighter kiss on Ste's lips.

Ste smiled. "Didn't know that. I've been doing it wrong for years. I'll try it out on my friends the next time I see them."

Brendan grunted and nibbled Ste's bottom lip then kissed the tip of his nose.

"Don't you dare." Brendan looked down at Ste's mouth hungrily.

It should have sounded creepy and territorial but Ste liked the possessiveness. He felt up Brendan's shoulders. God, he was so tense. They were like bricks.

"What time are the Kilners coming again?" He asked.

"Three quarters of an hour."

Ste had a thought. Something to loosen Brendan up. He expertly unbuckled Brendan's belt then pulled his trouser zipper down.

"That's plenty of time."

"Plenty of time for what?"

Ste smiled .

"You know…"

He kissed Brendan's stubbly jawline then dropped to his knees. He looked up at Brendan as his mouth touched the businessman's groin through his underwear. He licked over the dark cotton material and Brendan automatically held the back of Ste's head lightly, stroking his hair.

He sighed as Ste rubbed his balls.

"Mary said you needed to unwind." Ste pulled down Brendan's underpants to release his cock and run his tongue over the underside from base to head over and over again, wetting it and watching it respond and get harder.

It was a thing of beauty. Even like this when it was not yet fully erect, sitting in a thatch of dark course hairs it made Ste crazy with need.

"Fuck!" Brendan moaned.

Ste's own groan was involuntary; a reaction to how horny he felt and how frustrated he was that they didn't have all the time in the world to enjoy each other's company.

"No. Stop, Caden."

Brendan urged him to stand up and he tucked himself away.

It wasn't like Brendan to reject his advances.

"You don't want me to give you a-?" Ste pointed at Brendan's groin as he felt himself rouge up.

Brendan was being proper weird.

"No." Brendan wouldn't look at him. "Not now. I-, I need to tell you something first."

"Is everything okay?"

Brendan cleared his throat. "This meal tonight. It's to celebrate that we have finalised the Kilner deal."

"That's great, Brendan!" Ste said. "You have worked so hard towards it."

"Yes." Why did the Irishman look depressed then?

"Congratulations." Ste ventured.

"It's re-evaluation Tuesday." Brendan said bluntly.

It took a second for the relevance of that to sink in. Brendan was trying to tell Ste that now that he had sealed the deal with Kilner he didn't need their exclusive sex contract anymore.

He was trying to let Ste gently.

"Oh yeah." Ste's voice was barely a whisper. He hoped that his disappointment didn't show.

"We need to decide whether we want to continue with this." The Irishman said, indicating between the two of them.

"Yes." Ste nodded slowly. That was his answer. _Yes. __Please. __YES. _"I think-"

Brendan interrupted him by taking hold of his hand in a death grip. His hold was so firm it almost hurt. "No. Wait. Don't make any rash decisions. Give it some thought. We'll discuss it later. Once Ted and Victoria have gone." Brendan said.

"Sure. Whatever you want." Ste said.

He could already feel a void in his chest taking root. He knew what Brendan's answer would be.

_Sorry, sunshine. Show's over._

"I've got you something." Brendan said. "Here." He passed Ste a shopping bag from a men's designer boutique shop. "For tonight."

Ste opened up the boxes of clothing quickly. Was this a farewell present?

"Well, actually, my long suffering PA got them for me so blame him if you don't like them. He told me he has an eye for this sort of thing."

Brendan let out a shaky breath that prompted Ste to look up from the expensive clothes. They were on point.

"How did he know my size?" He asked.

Brendan raised an eyebrow. "I've been feeling you up for weeks."

Ste went red cheeked. "You shouldn't have, you know."

Brendan gave him a wry grin. "I had to. You said you were coming in rags."

Ste grinned. "Shall I see what they're like on?"

Brendan said. "Go on then."

"What? Here?"

Brendan grinned.

"Are you just going to sit there and watch while I get my kit off?" Ste asked.

"You make me sound like a pervert, Caden."

"No. But..." Ste hesitated then said, "You want a show?"

Brendan watched him. His look said it all.

"I won't say no."

Ste could do that. He wasn't amazing at stripping but he would try his best. It was all about confidence.

Ste took off his jumper slowly and pulled it between his hands. He hooked it behind Brendan's neck to pull the man closer to him.

He leaned down as if to kiss Brendan only to pull away with a teasing smile when Brendan tried to press their lips together.

"Na-ah. No touching. No kissing."

"No fair."

"Do you want a proper one, Brendan? Because those are the rules. I am warning you. You won't be able to resist me though."

"You think so? It's on like Donkey Kong, boy." The Irishman drawled in amusement and sat back confidently. "Do your worst."

Ste grinned and threw the jumper at Brendan who sniffed it before dropping it to the ground.

"I don't dance by the way." Ste kept his voice soft as he raised a corner of his t-shirt and stood between Brendan's legs.

Just a peek of skin. A tease. Nothing more. Then he covered it. Brendan reached to lift it up again.

"What did I say about touching me?" He whispered. "Put your hands behind your back, please."

"Take your top off." Brendan said as he followed Ste's instruction.

"Not yet."

Ste lifted his t-shirt a little higher to show an expanse of abdominals. "With stripping, it's about temptation and delayed reward. That's where the eroticism comes in."

He straddled Brendan, sitting on his lap and held eye contact while he felt up his own body, under his top, imagining that his hands were Brendan's. He lightly tugged at his piercing and felt a rush of blood to his groin.

"You're dancing now." Brendan whispered thickly.

"No. I'm moving my body next to yours."

Ste lifted his shirt to show yet more skin; his whole torso. His pierced nipple glinted as it hovered dangerously close to Brendan's mouth.

He ground himself down on Brendan's groin and felt the older man get hard under him.

Ste took his t-shirt off unhurriedly but kept the arms of it hooked around his wrists like makeshift handcuffs. He draped his arms over Brendan's shoulders and began to gyrate on him languidly the way he did when he was riding the Irishman's cock.

It was an unfair move but he needed Brendan to lose control and lose the game.

Brendan closed his eyes and swallowed hard as Ste's movements rubbed against his dick.

"Open your eyes, Brendan." Ste whispered.

"No fucking way."

Ste writhed his naked chest against Brendan's clothed one and tucked his face into the crook of the taller man's neck. He breathed into that crook and kissed the rapidly fluttering heart beat there.

Brendan was rigid; scared to move in case he ended up losing his resolve.

Ste was forced to move to plan B.

"Seriously. Open your eyes."

Brendan did, tentatively.

Ste took his t-shirt off his wrists. He smiled seductively as he unbuttoned his jeans.

"You could help me." He said.

A tick went off in Brendan's cheek.

"No? Okay." Ste stood up and pulled the jeans down so that they lay low on his hips. He let a hand trace down his body towards the V of his groin. He combed the scanty hairs that led down to his covered cock. He was hard just from taking some clothes off and teasing Brendan.

The way Brendan was looking at him was driving him wild; like he was going to lose it any second and pounce on him.

Ste rubbed the outline of his erection through the material of his jeans. The sensation was delicious. He groaned with need.

"I'm going to take my jeans off."

"Do that." Brendan managed to say.

Ste turned his back on Brendan but twisted his neck around to look at him. He took the denim off. Pants and socks. They were the final barrier to total nudity.

He pushed his underwear down enough to reveal the tops of his bum cheeks. He grabbed hold of the two globes and squeezed them. Brendan's arms twitched behind his back but did not come forward so Ste lowered his pants down to expose his butt cheeks in their entirety; the material bunched up at the top of his legs. He played a slow game of peek a boo. Now you see them, now you don't.

Brendan groaned in frustration.

He could have played really dirty; leaned over the desk and pushed his naked butt back in Brendan's direction, shamelessly showing his hole, gyrating ever so slightly.

But he had a speck more class than that.

He sat down on Brendan's lap using it like a seat and took his time taking his socks off. He looked back at the silent unmoving Irishman. Their faces were point blank. Mouths an inch apart. Bodies in close contact.

Brendan's body heat warmed Ste's back when he rested back against him. The Irishman's breathing was laboured against the nape of his neck, disturbing the hairs there.

Ste tucked his hand into his pants and jerked off unhurriedly; angling himself so that Brendan could catch his actions over his shoulder; his dick poking out of the band of his underpants. He fisted it, turning himself on. His bare arse rubbed over Brendan's dick.

A cruel tease and invitation to the older man.

_Try fuck me of you dare._

Ste closed his eyes as he got lost in the sensations. He was getting carried away. He swiped his thumb over the head of his own cock. He could feel the viscuous precum there. God, he was horny. He needed Brendan to crack. Soon.

Fuck.

"You're kidding me right?" Brendan breathed as he watched on. "God."

Ste felt a sensual lick over his ear. A warm tongue.

"You touched me." He said softly as he sluggishly opened his eyes.

"No. I didn't."

"Yeah you did. With your tongue." Ste smiled triumphantly.

"Fuck."

"Yes!"

"You didn't play fair."

Ste turned to smile smugly at Brendan. "Told you I'm irresistible."

"Oh, you think you are irresistible?"

"Yep!"

Before he knew it, he was on the floor, covered by Brendan.

"Brendan!" He shouted before erupting into a giggling fit when Brendan tried to kiss him.

"Stop laughing!" Brendan said with a smile. "I'm trying to have my wicked way with you."

"Sorry!" But Ste couldn't help laughing. He had won. "I won!"

"God, you are more competitive than I am." Brendan said.

"Yeah." He calmed down a little. "Okay. Now you can kiss me."

Brendan smiled. "Thanks for the permission."

"You're welcome."

When his arms went around Brendan's shoulders this time they felt more supple. Relaxed.

Mission accomplished.

{~}

Dinner was over and the chefs were gone. Brendan's apartment was already starting to resemble normal again. It felt less claustrophobic and more like the space he was used to.

Mary offered to stay back but Brendan knew that he had already overworked the poor woman. Her limp was more pronounced than usual. He and Steven, Caden, pushed her towards the door of the apartment. He could handle this part of proceedings; the after dinner drinks.

He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Go."

"I will but please don't mess the last bit of the evening up, okay? Because I think you have impressed your guests so far."

"I would never mess up."

"Caden, keep him an eye on him for me, will you."

"I will."

How come Mary was acting like Caden's best friend all of a sudden?

"Good." She gave Caden a hug. "I'm so happy I met you today. See you soon."

{~}

"I'm glad to see that you realise that everyone near you contributes to your success." Ted said as Brendan and Caden joined him and Victoria in the living area having said bye to Mary.

"Mary is more like family." Brendan said truthfully as he poured port into crystal glasses and passed them around. "Slainté."

"Cheers."

"Brendan, don't corrupt Teddy. He's already had too much to drink with the meal."

"I think we have all had more than we expected." Brendan said jovially.

"One more won't hurt, dear." Ted said and took a hearty swig of the fortified wine. "So have you finally moved in, Caden?"

"Edward, you can't ask such personal questions." Victoria exclaimed. "See. I warned you. His tongue loosens."

"It's fine." Caden said as he took Brendan's hand. "No, I haven't yet. I'm trying to figure out Brendan's bad habits first. Then we'll see!"

"I don't think you'll find any. This is one fine upstanding man." Ted said and reached over to pat Brendan's knee.

"He's alright." Caden said with a grin.

Brendan was captivated by how easy going Steven was. He wished he could be like that, endearing, but it wasn't in his makeup.

Caden had a knack. He was likeable. Lovable.

"I'd say your boyfriend is more than alright." Ted said merrily. "He made the biggest contribution to the family trust when he bought that American artist's paintings anonymously. Admirable stuff, Brendan. I hope you don't think it contributed to me accepting the property deal though? I'm not that soft! Oh, who am I kidding? Of course it did!"

Ted chuckled then downright cackled with glee.

"I'm sorry, what?" Caden said. "What paintings?"

The port glass was shaking in his hands.

"The ones at the exhibition. You weren't there. Brendan must have told you." The old man slurred.

Brendan wanted to put Ted on mute and tell him to shut up. "It was nothing. Really."

He looked at Steven. The escort looked crushed.

No. This is not how Brendan had wanted the lad to find out. In fact he had never intended for the lad to find out for exactly this reason.

The escort was bound to think that Brendan had bought the paintings for personal gain. To nail the Kilner deal.

"You are being very modest, Brendan. I'm sure you have given that artist hope and that check couldn't have hurt! I've heard he lives in some damp old council flat, the poor lad." Ted said. "What was his name again, darling?"

"Doug Carter." Caden said numbly.

Ted smiled. "Yes! That's it. Amazing young man. That was the whole point of the competition; to give these talented artists a platform."

"Caden, are you alright?" Victoria asked.

Brendan tried to catch Steven's eye but the escort wasn't having it.

"I'm fine, thanks. Just a little tipsy, I think."

He was upset.

"Have you seen the paintings?" Victoria asked.

The escort looked like he was about to laugh hysterically.

The Kilners did not recognise him from the exhibition night even though he had been right next to his best friend. That night he had been one of the common people. He hadn't registered on their radar.

"Yes I have." He said. "I have grown to know them well. They are gorgeous."

{~}

The minute the Kilners left Brendan said, "I'm sorry, Caden. I should have said."

"Where are they?" Ste asked angrily. "The paintings."

"Not here."

"Doug worked too bloody hard for them to be collecting dust in some poxy little store room."

"I didn't say they were in storage."

"You don't even care about them. You hate paintings."

"Hate's a strong word."

Ste laughed. "You bought them so you could land a business deal! You don't care about all the work and love that went into them. That my friend put into them. You are so heartless!"

"Jesus, Caden. Do you honestly think that is why I bought them?"

"Yes."

"Do you think a man as clever and experienced as Kilner would have sold his £5,000,000 property to me just because I forked out £15,000 on some paintings?"

"You punched his precious little son, didn't you? I am sure you were willing to try anything to get the deal after that."

"I got the deal because I am really good at what I do. That is it. Slapping a family member or buying art is irrelevant. Yeah. Okay. I was upset when I thought the deal wouldn't go through but that was because I know that my team and I spent a lot of time and effort trying to get it. But this is business. I was ready to move on to another deal if necessary."

"So why did you buy Doug's paintings then? If it wasn't to get the deal."

Brendan was quiet for a moment. "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes!"

_Duh._ Ste couldn't understand Brendan's agenda.

Brendan smoothed his moustache, pumping himself up for the truth. "Okay. Fine. I'll tell you."

"Go on then." Ste folded his arms across his chest.

"I did it because I thought it would make you happy."

"You what? That doesn't make sense."

"I wanted you to be proud of your friend and what he had accomplished. Doug is a special person in your life. I can tell. You walked that journey with him to that opening night, didn't you? I knew you would be happy for your friend if he got his break. It was a small price to pay to see you happy."

That was the wrong thing to say. Brendan sensed that immediately.

Ste was fuming. "A small price to pay." He muttered.

"That is not what I meant."

"Like paying me £2000 a week is a small price to pay for the use of my body."

"Now you are putting words in my mouth."

"I don't need your pity or your charity, Brendan, and neither do my friends!"

"Caden, I think it's the drink talking now. What are you going on about?"

"Don't you dare call me drunk!"

Now it was Brendan's turn to get angry. "I don't get why you are so upset. I paid for your friend's artwork because he is talented and deserved to have his things sold just like I paid you for the work you did in accordance to a contract that you insisted we draw up and that we both signed up to. So why are you angry with me?"

Ste pushed him because he couldn't justify his anger. He knew he couldn't argue with that. He had signed up to this but it didn't mean he had to like it.

This was painful. Brendan talking about them like a transaction and comparing sex with him to Doug's paintings.

It was like arrows spearing his heart.

Ste looked down at his clothes. Every stitch of what he was wearing was a gift from Brendan. The bills he paid and the food he ate were all because the businessman paid him. He was completely owned.

He should have listened to Amy and to his subconscious when they had said that he could not handle this.

Sex. Money. Emotions. It was a messy combination.

"This is re-evaluation Tuesday, yeah, so let's re-evaluate." He said quietly.

"No. Let's wait until tomorrow, Caden." Brendan said. "When we have both calmed down."

"No. Let's call it quits right now because I can't do this anymore." Ste said.

"What?"

"I don't want to renew our contract. I'm done."

Brendan's face distorted. His voice was a quiet whisper. "I thought you were happy."

"I'm not, Brendan." Ste said in defeat. "I'm not."

Ste grabbed his satchel.

"No." Brendan said. "Wait."

He took hold of Ste's arm.

"Let me go, Brendan."

His client hesitated for a moment then dropped his hand.

"Thank you."

He could not look at Brendan. He did not want to lose his resolve so he walked out of the apartment without a backwards glance, closing the door behind him.

There was only one reason why Ste had put himself through all this. Why he had dared to hope against hope that things might have turned out differently. Why he was acting like a bit of a dick right now to Brendan. Why the tears would come later, long and hard.

How stupid he was not to have figured out the reason sooner. Maybe he would have been spared the heart ache he was experiencing now.

He was in love with Brendan.

{~}

It was challenging trying to get his keys into the lock of his house with tears in his eyes and booze in his veins. It was taking him ages. Now that Phil was parking his car into the adjacent driveway Ste doubled his efforts so that he could avoid small talk with the man.

"Ste!"

Too late.

Thank goodness it was dark. Phil wouldn't be able to see his tears or his wine blushed cheeks. He wiped his cheeks quickly and faced his neighbour.

"Hiya, Phil." He said. "You're getting in late."

"I get worked too bloody hard, that's why." The man said with a huge grin on his face.

"Is that a reason to smile?" Ste asked.

"Today it is. We got some good news at the office."

"Congratulations."

"Thanks." Phil said. He approached the dividing hedge between their houses. "I might be saying congratulations to you too soon, though, right?"

"Um. No. Why?"

"Stop playing coy with me. I saw your name on the short list of job applicants at work. Aren't we interviewing you on Friday? And when I see we, I mean the royal 'we'!"

Ste's smile was confused. "You work for _BCV Living_?"

"I work for its parent company."

"That's crazy. I didn't know that." Ste leaned over the hedge. "Eya, you couldn't give me some inside information, could you? Something to give me the edge."

Phil laughed. "No chance. My head would be on the blocks if I did. You must have impressed someone if you got shortlisted though. Just be you and remember that nobody likes modesty during an interview."

"Yeah. Okay. Thanks."

Ste's eyes were dry now. Just. He was still upset after his break up with Brendan but there was some light at the end of the tunnel.

He was determined to show people like Brendan and his other clients and the person sending the malicious mail that he could succeed. That there was so much more to him than his escorting.

He would go into his interview and he would get the job.


	16. Guy

**Dear Folks,**

**I am sorry it has been so long between chapters. Dang it time flies! I have really missed writing _Safe_ but I just haven't been able to find the time. I won't bore you with the reasons why but let's just say that my holiday had a bit of a knock on effect when I got back *Got some drama of my own! (don't like it)***

**The next chapter will be spicier but for now this is my peace offering to those of you who theatened,cajoled, pleaded, 'pretty pleased' and just downright stroked my ego...felt good BTW ; ). PURR. I am releasing this chapter now, even though I am not 100% happy with it, because you guys are the awesomest and have been very patient with me. I must admit I have barely had a chance to edit this so apologies for all the errors in advance. I suspect they'll be loads more mistakes than there usually are (and there are usually bucket loads). Might edit at a later date...**

**Hugs,**

**Chips x**

**{~}**

Ste was determined to show people like Brendan, his other clients and the person sending him malicious mail that he could succeed. That there was so much more to him than escorting. He would go into his interview and he would get the job but first he had to get into his house.

He peered through a window. It was curious that the lights inside were off already. It was too early for Amy to be asleep and she had said that Lee was coming over so she must have still been awake.

He tried the door's lock again with more purpose.

"You having trouble there?" Phil peered at Ste from his own porch.

Ste looked over at his neighbour.

"No. Yes. A bit." Embarrassed smile. He was still a bit drunk but he wasn't about to let it show. "It's probably just a little jammed."

"Actually Ste. Before you go in…"

"Yep." Ste looked over at his neighbour.

"This isn't me helping you out with the interview…" Phil started.

Ste pricked up his ears. "Okay…"

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this so you haven't heard it from me."

Ste's smile became hopeful. Phil was about to give him a heads up.

"Actually it doesn't matter. It's not like you are going to be working closely with him so you're alright."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Nobody." The older man looked around as if someone might eavesdrop on them. "Just thank your lucky stars that you are working for _BCV_ and not its parent company. You get worked like a dog and get no thanks in return. He doesn't know how to speak to people. That's all I'm prepared to say."

"Phil, you can't say something like that and leaving me hanging." Ste prompted. "Is the boss a bit of a twat?"

"Ha! Your words, Ste, not mine!" Phil laughed. "Right, I've said too much. Better get in before the wife sends out a search party."

Phil gave Ste a wave and they both entered their houses.

Ste turned on the lights as he moved through the hallway, living room and kitchen. There was no one there and the rooms were unusually tidy for the time of night.

He ran up the stairs as he felt a nudge of panic. Amy and the kids weren't in their rooms or the bathroom either.

"Amy?"

He heard a sound coming from his bedroom.

Shit. Someone was in his house.

"Amy?"

He quietly reached into his satchel and took out his computer notebook; the only object in his immediate possession able to cause injury. If there was someone in there, and by someone he was thinking of his stalker, then he would put up a fight. If that guy had so much as laid a finger on his family…

"I know you are in there!" He shouted across the door. "I'm armed!"

He flung his bedroom door open with his weapon poised and ready for use.

There was no one there.

"Surprise!"

Ste nearly passed out when Amy jumped out at him from behind the door and his kids crawled out from under the bed.

He screamed in shock.

Lucas laughed gleefully, "We scared-ed daddy!"

Ste tried to calm his nerves.

Amy pulled him into a hug. "You look like you've seen a ghost! You alright?"

He nodded because he still couldn't speak.

"Look, daddy, we made you a surprise cake!" Leah pointed at his desk in the corner of the room and at the wonky attempt at what looked like a lemon drizzle cake.

Lucas was already fingers deep in the icing having climbed the chair to reach it.

"I don't get it." He said.

Amy looked at him with pride. "You know how Doug can't keep a secret. He told me about the job interview so the kids and I thought we should celebrate the good news. Show daddy how proud we are of him."

Ste felt a wave of emotion but also a serous amount of pressure. "Thanks but it's just an interview. Like, don't get too excited. I bet you there are going to be people way better than me."

Amy wasn't listening to him. She was eyeing up his clothes.

"I've not seen you wear these clothes before." She felt the material of his shirt sleeve. "They look well expensive."

There was an edge of disapproval to her tone.

"I got them at a thrift shop." Ste lied as he looked down at the clothes Brendan had gifted him. "Bargain."

"Nice. You look well good in them. You should wear them to the interview. They make you look the part."

"Thanks."

{~}

Ste was struggling to sleep later that night in the dead of night. He was lying in bed staring at the ceiling with a belly full of dinner party food, wine, port, celebratory cake, angst and pain trying not to think of anything. Then his phone started to ring. His work one. He used every bit of will power he possessed to not answer it and let it ring silently until it diverted to voicemail.

'_Caden… I'm-, I… … …look, just call me when you get this message…. Please…. This is Brendan by the way.'_

Was it just him or did Brendan sound fall over drunk?

Ten minutes later the phone rang again. He waited until it too went to voicemail.

'_I'm sorry... I get it… I see why you think I used you. You think I bought your friend's art to soften Kilner but you're wrong. I say it like it is. You know that. I would have told you if that was my intention.' _

Ste could hear Brendan take a sip of a drink. Probably something alcoholic.

'_I haven't lied to you. Not once. I hope you believe that. Just… okay… that's it.'_

Ste listened to the message over and over again. He could not detect anything except sincerity in Brendan's words. Either the man was a good actor or he believed his own lie or he was being truthful.

It didn't really matter because when all was said and done Brendan couldn't give Ste what he wanted; a chance to be together properly as a normal couple.

So Ste had to move past missing Brendan even though just a few short hours had passed since he said goodbye. He had to stop pining for the older man's quiet presence, blunt honesty, hot body and tongue and cheek attitude. The sex and the company.

That's why he did not reply back. He needed this to be a clean break to have a chance to lead a proper life. A normal life. A successful life that he and his children could be proud of.

He had to break the cycle of crappiness that his life had become since his grandfather passed away. He had to acknowledge that he had become good at making bad decisions.

No more.

His life was going to change and it was going to start with getting the job.

{~}

Ste researched the company, practiced questions in the mirror and sorted out what he was going to wear. Then with a day to go he enlisted the help of his best friend to practice tough interview questions.

Doug ushered him into his flat. "Ready to be grilled, Mr Hay?"

Since selling his paintings, Ste had noticed a steady improvement in his friend's home. It actually looked like somewhere someone might choose to live. He was happy that Doug wasn't living in a hole any more but the feeling was bittersweet. He couldn't help but see Brendan's deceit in every new bit of furniture and fresh lick of paint on the walls.

"Kinda snazzy, huh?" Doug said as he stroked the material of his brand new sofa. "Benji picked it out."

"Yeah." Ste said half-heartedly as he took a seat next to Doug and looked around. "It's alright this."

"I know it's not perfect but it feels like a home now." Doug said defensively. He was upset by his friend's underwhelmed reaction. "Are you in a mood because of Benji?"

"I'm not in a mood." Ste lied and tried a smile.

"Don't worry about him. He has an assignment due on Friday so he's locked himself in the bedroom. So you don't need to act weird around me. And besides he is cool with you now that he knows you're taken."

Ste frowned. "I'm what?"

"I told him about you and Fletcher."

Ste groaned. "What part of 'I am not dating Fletch' don't you understand?"

"None of it." Doug grinned. "You can't deny a hickie, Ste, or all the lame excuses you've been coming up with to avoid coming out with us so you can hang out with him or that stupid grin you have been walking around with these last few weeks. Well until today..."

"I'm not sneaking off to meet up with Fletch!" Ste insisted.

"Well you've been going somewhere because Benji's mate who works at the wine bar says that you haven't worked a shift there for a while."

Doug raised a challenging eyebrow.

Ste felt his cheeks colour. Majorly busted. If that information got back to Amy she would start asking questions about how he was affording their bills.

"Are you scared of introducing him to me? Is that it?" Doug grinned.

"No."

"You're worried I'll ask him what his intentions are with you. You know I just want to make sure that he isn't a psycho after last time."

Ste sighed. He was cornered. "It's not that. It's not what you think."

_It's not Fletcher. _

_My mystery man is, I mean, was Brendan aka 'the replacement twelfth client'. Remember him? Anyway, it ended a couple of days. Not that it ever really started. I didn't tell you because I knew you'd get angry with me for still escorting behind your back. You would say I was an idiot for trying to make a romance out of a paying client. Then you'd tell Amy. Then she'd have a go at me._

Ste frowned.

"What is it?" Doug continued sympathetically. "Have you split up? Is that it?"

Doug's words were a little too close to home. Ste found himself nodding while trying to keep it together.

_Don't fucking cry about leaving Brendan. You can't be that pathetic._

"What an asswipe! Never trust a man with a surname for a first name!" Doug said as he placed a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder.

Ste gave him a wry smile. "Douglas can be a surname."

"Oh yeah. Scrap that then!" Doug said with a rueful grin. "Hey look, it's his loss, buddy. You've got great friends, great kids, great hair and soon a great job. Now let's get down to some questions."

{~}

Brendan was in a foul mood which meant that his already direct 'no bullshit' manner was taken to the nth degree. He had enough insight to know this. His staff thought he was being a bigger arse than usual. He had heard Paul whisper, "Be warned, he's on form today," to one or two people before they came into his office.

He blamed it on the two boozy late nights he had had this week; the first was indoors alone after the Kilners and Steven had left and the second was the day after at _Cruise_, also alone but surrounded by beautiful strangers.

The hangovers were killing him and the lack of sleep wasn't helping. He could imagine what his sister might say to him on the matter,

"_Then why the feck are you drinking so much, you eejit? See, you're slipping into your old habits."_

_Wrong, sis._

He hadn't fucked anyone. That would have been standard; drinking and shagging his way out of stress and sorrow. No one at the club had caught his eye or met the grade. Absolutely no one, which was strange since that had never happened before. Usually there was someone good enough for a quick hook-up.

He grunted to himself and rubbed his sore head.

_Thank fuck it's Friday tomorrow,_ he thought. _ Can't wait to see the back of this place_.

Every congratulation or praise he got from his employees for the Kilner deal felt like a dagger; a reminder of how shit he had made Steven feel at the end of his dinner party.

Brendan could still picture the escort's hurt expression when old man Kilner had revealed the fact that Brendan had bought Doug's paintings. It flashed through Brendan's mind at inopportune moments like when he was trying to run a meeting, get to sleep, get drunk, move on.

He pressed against his shut eyes tiredly.

When the Kilners had gone Steven's hurt had morphed into an alcohol fuelled wrathful rant. Nothing Brendan said or did could calm him down.

'_I thought you were happy.' _Brendan remembered saying_._

With the contract, the money. With him. Brendan had thought Ste was happy with him.

Steven's reply had been blunt.

'_I'm not, Brendan. I'm not.'_

A tick went off in Brendan's cheek.

"Boss, do you want me to come back later?"

"Huh?"

Brendan looked across his office desk at Paul who was looking at him worriedly.

God. He had forgotten that the lad was there.

"You blanked out." His PA said.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" Paul leaned forward slightly. "It's just, I have noticed that you haven't been yourself these past few weeks. I hope you don't mind me saying but you seem less focussed. And these last couple of days…"

Brendan stared at him warningly.

Paul gripped his trusty computer tablet tightly. It was the only sign that he was terrified and yet still about to say something against his own better judgement. He cleared his throat.

"… Is something on your mind? Something with family or-"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

Brendan's eyes narrowed. "I must have missed the moment where I asked you to be my shrink or priest, Paulie-boy."

Paul swallowed hard. "Sorry. No. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That's all."

"You want to tell me what you came in here to say… if you are done trying your amateur psychology on me."

Paul sat up straight in his seat, hiding the sting he felt from Brendan's words.

"Yes. I wanted to follow on from what you and Phil were talking about earlier about getting a team together to work on the Kilner project."

"Go on."

"Well, basically, Phil has rung through with an idea that he feels is workable and cost effective."

Jesus. Had he been so harsh with Phil in the morning that the grown man wouldn't come to him face-to-face again today and was speaking through Brendan's PA? Brendan had to get a grip before he alienated his staff.

He drawled. "Let's hear it."

"He says that recruiting new staff is unnecessary. For one thing it would be expensive especially with the recession still going strong. Plus there has been recent recruitment in a few of your companies so skills-wise you should have the people you need within your corporation. Phil's advice is to reshuffle existing personnel between your companies to maximise productivity and get some of them onto the Kilner project."

"Sounds fair enough. I am assuming that the people that need moving have contracts that allow us that flexibility."

Paul shrugged. "Dunno. I'm not sure who you want on the project."

"That's easy. People who know what the fuck they are doing and do it exceptionally."

Paul smiled so Brendan allowed a lopsided grin to escape.

"Schedule me a meeting with Phil, head of HR and Melanie this afternoon. Let's make that happen."

"Sure."

"Anything else?"

"That's it for now. Are you going to have lunch at your desk? I can get you a sandwich from the _Coffee Hut_ if you want. They are doing a special this month. It's a warm Szechuan sea bass and minced pork 'surf and turf' wrap. Sounds horrific but I tried it last week. It is to die for."

'_I think I'll always order surf and turf. It's amazing, Brendan! And do you know why it is called that? I have figured it out. Because the meat comes from the turf, right, and the fish comes from the surf, I mean sea. No wait. I don't get it. But I got it a minute ago.'_

"Or I could get you a cheesesteak sandwich again."

'_Let's call it quits right now because I can't do this anymore, Brendan. I don't want to renew our contract. I'm done.'_

"Boss?" Paul said slowly.

Brendan shook his head to break free of his memories.

"Just get me a coffee. Black. And clear my schedule for next week. I am taking a trip back to Ireland."

It came out of the blue but it seemed like a good idea to get out of town, clear his head, see his parents. Make that long overdue trip.

"For business?"

Brendan grunted a laugh. Was he so bad a workaholic that a trip to his country of birth did not raise the assumption that it was a social visit?

"No, Paulie. I am going home."

The minute his PA shut the door behind him, Brendan stood up and walked to the wall to floor window. With an eye of faith he could identify Watergate Street from where he was, under the grey damp skies.

Steven hadn't tried to get in contact with him since Tuesday, despite Brendan leaving two messages on his phone.

The escort had probably taken the earliest opportunity to get back in contact with his other clients. Time was money after all. He had no time for Brendan. He was probably already working his magic on another man; stroking his ego amongst other things. Doing what he did so effectively.

It did not deter Brendan from leaving a message when Steven did not pick up.

_Hi, this is Caden. I must be busy or summat. Please leave me a message after the bleep._

Brendan cleared his throat and spoke.

"Hi. Ignore my last two messages..."

{~}

Ste and Doug had been at it for hours. Asking and answering. Debating and critiquing.

The phone vibrating in Ste's bag broke their chatter.

"Is that your phone?" Doug asked when Ste ignored it.

"Yeah. I'll check later." Ste said. "Next question please."

"You don't want to get that?"

"I want to get the job."

"Okay. Kinda keen, ain't ya? I like it!" Doug smiled. "Mr Hay, there seems to be a period of a year where you were unemployed. Could you tell us a bit about that?"

"The thing is I haven't really been unemployed." Ste leaned forward towards his friend, raised a seductive eyebrow and touched his palm lightly on Doug's chest using the 'move' Doug taught him.

"Bro, what are you doing?" Doug looked confused.

Ste smiled coyly. "You see, Mr. Interview Man, I have been doing the world's oldest profession and I have been very good at it too."

"Huh?"

Ste whispered, "I was a rent boy."

Doug looked shocked. His jaw was practically on the floor.

"As in I got paid to-"

Doug snapped back into interviewer mode and raised a hand. "Yes! Mr Hay. I am familiar with the principle of prostitution. Um-"

"I'm messing with you, Doug." Ste said with a grin as he pulled away from his friend. "I have a proper answer prepared."

"Who's Doug?" His friend asked seriously.

Ste smiled. "You can drop the act now."

"What act? Mr. Hay, would you mind telling me what your job involved?"

So Doug wanted to be like that, huh? Two could play that game. Ste could go along with it.

"Sure. Basically I would show up somewhere and meet up with a gentleman. He would tell me what he wanted to do. Then we would do that. Then he would pay me and I would go."

Ste said quietly as he pushed his eyeglasses up his nose.

"How did that make you feel?" Doug asked seriously.

Ste looked down at his nails. Was Doug asking as Doug or as Mr Interview Man?

His voice was low when he said. "Um. Okay. Not great, you know. It felt like I was giving a part of myself away to someone who didn't really care about me, so."

There was a loud clang from the bedroom.

Ste and Doug looked over at the closed door.

"Shit!" Ste hissed loudly. "Do you think he heard?"

"No." Doug said while standing up. "We were being really quiet and he studies with his earphones in anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Go check, Doug. Shit!" Ste said in a panic. Benji knowing about his escorting was as good as all the whole University of Chester and everywhere they frequented finding out.

"Calm down. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Even if he heard, I'll make sure he stays quiet, okay? Give me a minute."

Doug rushed to his room shutting the door behind him. Ste was left to fret over how gossip could spread like wild fire. This was not good. The student finding out about his escorting would only strengthen his mistrust of Ste around his boyfriend.

Was it a good sign that Ste couldn't hear raised voices coming from the bedroom? His phone started vibrating again and distracted him from trying to eavesdrop on Doug and Benji.

He picked it out of his bag and saw that it was his voicemail ringing.

'_You have one new message. Message left at one forty-two pm.'_

A third call from Brendan; left on the eve of Ste's job interview. His tone was brisk and economical. Matter of fact. Like he didn't care.

'_Hi. Ignore my last two messages. Drink talking. I understand if you want to terminate our contract and you don't want to see me again. It is your right. I'm calling because I never paid you for Tuesday night. I am a man of principle. I asked you to do a job. You did it. I owe you so-'_

"Hey." Doug re-entered the room looking relieved. Ste pushed the phone away quickly.

"Hi." Ste replied. "So?"

"He doesn't know. He has Katy Perry blaring into his ears." Doug fell back onto the sofa and looked at his friend as if he was at his wits end. "God. I am in a world of pain right now, my friend. I haven't told you, have I?"

Ste shook his head.

Doug sighed and explained. "Benji has been so stressed lately so he hasn't been putting out, like, at all. Nothing. Nada. Ziltch. Not even a hand job… for four days, dude. Four. Seriously. That should be a criminal offense or something. I am getting blue balls here. There is only so much satisfaction I can get out of rubbing against him when he's asleep."

Ste looked at him with a grossed out expression. "You rub up against him when he is sleeping?"

"No! God, no!" Doug smiled. "Maybe a little."

"That's nasty."

"Me man. Need sex."

Ste shuddered. "You're barely evolved."

"Thank you."

"Let's get back to the questions before you gross me out anymore."

{~}

The next day was the day of his interview. While Ste should have been concentrating on that he was fretting over the fact that he could not find his 'work' phone. He had definitely had it at Doug's place. It had been in his bag. Then he had taken it out to listen to Brendan's message while Doug went to check on Benji and had had to hide it back in his bag when Doug came back into the main room.

Right?

So where the fuck was it? Had he left it at his friend's place?

He called Doug and asked him whether he had seen it. The American said he hadn't.

The only relief was that it was locked. If Doug or Benji were to find it they would need a password. If they struck gold that would uncover his deceit and the fact that every single communication on that phone had been with one person only.

He hadn't had much time to think about it. He had an interview to go to.

{~}

Ste didn't want to jinx himself but he felt it was going well. His answers were clear, calm and concise. He was giving it his best shot because he had nothing to lose.

As it drew to a close he dared to hope. He looked at the three people on the interview panel and they seemed pleased with his answers; a manager at _BCV Living,_ a member of the human resources team and a representative from 'head office'.

Melanie. That was her name. Ste liked her because she was the only one who seemed to know how to smile readily and act friendly.

"I think we are coming to an end here, Mr. Hay." She said.

"Oh. Already?" He smiled. "I was having fun."

His response was met with three smiles.

Yep. Three.

Get in!

"There is just one small issue that we need to address with you." The middle panellist looked to her colleagues who gave her a sombre nod each.

Ste sat up straight. "Yes?"

Shit. They know about the rent boy thing. Fuck.

_I can explain. Those men that you are referring to, I'll admit that I slept with them and that they seriously overpaid for my taxi home/ dinner/ hotel room/ other. I can see how it looks like sex for pay but it wasn't. It's an easy mistake to make really. _

"If we were to offer you the job, would you be willing to accept a certain amount of fluidity in terms of your place of work?"

"Excuse me?"

Were they offering him a job or not?

"As you are aware _BCV Living_ is part of a large real estate brokerage corporation. While your job description and starting salary would not change we need you to understand that you may be asked to work for some of our sister companies."

Ste had to think practically. He couldn't be too far from the children.

"You have offices everywhere. Glasgow. Manchester. Bristol. Aberdeen. Liverpool-"

"Yes and we wouldn't expect you to uproot at short notice. The likelihood is that you would be working here in Chester."

Ste nodded. _Good._

"So what do you say?" The manager said.

Ste smiled tentatively. "Are you offering me the job?"

Melanie smiled. "Yes. You are the last candidate we have interviewed but I think my colleagues will agree that you have stood head and shoulders above your competition with your enthusiasm and preparedness."

"Oh wow." Ste couldn't help say.

She extended her hand out to him and gave him a generous smile. He took it numbly and shook her hand.

Ste's grin was huge. "Wow."

He walked out of office with a spring in his step despite the cold rainy weather.

Within minutes his phone beeped. Messages from Amy and Doug asking how it had gone.

He texted them back,

_Got it!_

Their reply was almost instant.

Doug texted.

_I knew it, bro. You deserve it. We must all celebrate tonight. By the way, Benji just found your phone at the back of our sofa. Must have slipped out of your bag. I'll bring it along._

{~}

Ste's first three weeks of proper work flew by. He was based at _BCV Living_ but he knew that it was a temporary arrangement. He had been told that he would he moved soon.

The first week comprised an intense induction programme with his immediate colleagues, a mishmash of tech heads, that Ste could gleefully geek out with on all things technological. He familiarised himself with the software that the company used; its various programmes, security and privacy set up. This was in addition to learning new names, getting used to where everything was in the office, figuring out how to work out the vending machine when it took his money without coughing up the goods.

"Press D4 for about ten seconds. That usually works. If not hit the machine hard on the right top corner. I got a free _Twix_ once."

That is what Guy said. Ste liked Guy. Guy could stay. He was only a couple of years older than Ste. A bit of a cheeky chappy; short and slightly pudgy with quick hands and a quick mind. He spoke fast and used rapid hand gestures to emphasise his words. He reminded Ste of a buzzing bee sometimes. It was like he was wired. Maybe he was wired. On caffeine or something less legal. Either way he took Ste under his wing and showed him the ropes. His work friends quickly became Ste's. Being 'in' with Guy made Ste instantly popular which was nice since he had never been part of any 'in' crowd before.

And then his and Guy's time at _BCV Living_ came to an abrupt end.

"I have only just got here and I was just starting to settle in." Ste moaned to his new acquaintances at Guy's office farewell party while his new friend distributed cans of beer.

The whole IT team and a few other colleagues were crammed into the IT offices after work behind closed doors. Guy had piled a table high with chocolate bars and crisps that he had knocked out for free from the vending machine.

"Mate. You don't even know! I've been here for three years. This is like saying bye to family." Guy said as he draped an arm over Ste's shoulder and took a sip of beer.

The consensus was that the two of them must have been head hunted to work for the parent company; something that Ste doubted since his new bosses had barely had a chance to see him at work. It was more likely that they had handpicked the brilliant Guy and asked Ste to come along as part of a 'last-in-first-out' move.

"Are you ready for the move, Ste?" Guy asked with a broad smile.

"Yeah. Bring it on."

{~}

Brendan would love to say that his trip back to Ireland was a peaceful one but the less said about it the better. A week with his parents with an impromptu three day visit from Chez was enough. He almost welcomed his return to work.

Things had moved on somewhat. There was a new potential acquisition on the books and his hotel chain was looking to expand. Things could have been worse from a business point of view.

He was getting to a point with the Kilner job where he could start taking a real back seat but he wanted to make sure that the project was in good hands first.

"You're holding onto this project more than you noramlly do, Brendan. Like it's your baby." Walker said with a sly smile. "What gives?"

"I do feel like I delivered it after a long painful labour. Just want to make sure it's going to make it past its first breaths before I let it go."

They were walking towards a meeting room with Paul at their heels. Walker had decided to come along to meet the team of people Melanie had recruited to help with the project. Not that either of them doubted her expertise. Her background in project management meant that she knew how to co-ordinate disparate groups of people and make them work in harmony.

She was the woman you had charged with spearheading the Kilner project.

Before stepping into the meeting room Brendan leaned into his business associate and smelt his minty fresh breath. "Have you quit your fags?"

"Depends which kind of fags you're talking about." Walker grinned and pulled up a sleeve to reveal a nicotine replacement patch.

"And here I was thinking that you laughed in the face of danger." Brendan drawled.

"No. I laughed then wheezed then coughed then got breathless." Walker lifted an eyebrow. "It stopped feeling sexy."

Brendan snorted a laugh then led the way into the meeting room. He was faced with a group of fifteen employees who instantly fell silent. Melanie was with them. They all stood up as Brendan approached the table.

"Please sit." He said briskly. Who had time for etiquette?

As a group they looked a little too Disney channel, sparkly and wet behind the ears. Computer tablets, laptops and notepads at the ready. They looked at Brendan with the hyper vigilance of a mob of meerkats.

"Hello." He said as he stood at one end of the table with Paul and Walker either side of him. "My name is Brendan Brady. I am CEO of _Clover Corp._ Until last week I know that you all worked for various companies under its umbrella but Melanie here, who I am sure you all know by now, chose you to come on board on an exciting new project. I appreciate that you haven't been told a lot about it. That is because our edge has always come out of being ahead of the curve and predicting the flow of the market better than our competitors. Today Melanie will explain why we have asked you to come and join us at headquarters and what we would like your specific role to be."

He scanned the room gettign a closer look at the individuals around the oval table.

His body froze, his eye widened and a current that felt like a lightening bolt ran through him when he clapped eyes on a familiar face. A face that was looking right back at him with particular intensity; wide shocked eyes and a hint of animosity.

He was still as a statue just like he had been the first time Brendan had walked up to him in his apartment and given him bottled water. Then the lad had been rigid with nerves. Now he was just looked plain shocked... and hostile.

It was written all over his body language. The lad was sitting rod straight. His hands were grasped into tight fists on the table and his mouth was slightly open in surprise. His glasses shielded his brilliant blue eyes. They opened and closed slowly, conveying, 'I can't believe I am seeing what I am seeing'. It would have been comical in any other circumstance.

Walker looked at Brendan curiously and then saw who he was staring at. The usual ironic curve of his lips turned into a full blown beam when he recognised Steven from meeting him at _MPW SteakHouse_ in Liverpool.

Brendan knew Walker well. The brummie would enjoy exploring and toying with this situation with all the joy one takes in picking away at a scab.

"Brendan." He said with a knowing smile then he looked at the expectant group of men and women. "You were saying how happy you are that these bright and enthusiastic employees have come to help."

"Yes." Brendan cleared his throat.

He looked away from Steven only for a second before staring at him again. Even angry, shocked and flummoxed the lad was mesmerising.

He was so fucking close; just a couple of metres of air away. Not quite at arm's length but nearly. Brendan felt a wave of something in his core. That good indigestion feeling. That strange feeling.

Then he frowned. What the fuck was the escort doing here? Had he applied for the job knowing what Brendan's position in the organisation was? Had he somehow 'played' his way into the company by gleaning information from Brendan over the past weeks; searching through his business files and personal effects behind the businessman's back when he trustingly and unwittingly left them lying around? Is that what had happened?

When Steven had stormed out of Brendan's apartment had he used Brendan's acquisition of Doug's paintings as an excuse to sever ties with the Irishman when actually he had always intended to leave? After all, what had Steven really gained out of being exclusively with him. Nothing. He had probably thought Brendan was some control freak who had to pay to get the same person to sleep with him on a regular basis.

Was the escort someone far more calculating than Brendan had ever imagined?

"Amongst you are architects, computer and software specialists, engineers, marketing strategists and more." He said. "Over the coming weeks and months you will all be instrumental in the success of this project under Melanie's leadership as project manager. I am sure that the final product will be one worthy of _Clover Corp_."

_What kind of rent boy has a regular job by day and then moonlights by getting fucked for cash? __Why did he never tell me that this is what he did?_

The guy next to Steven smiled at him and said, "Mr Brady, my name is Guy Evans from _BCV Living_ and I just want to say that it is an honour to meet you in person."

Steven looked at him sharply as if urging him to shut up but the young man continued to gush.

"I have heard so much about you and I can tell you one hundred percent that Ste here and I will not let you down. It will be an honour to work under you and I promise that we will work our butts off for you, sir."

Walker snorted a laugh.

"Bet your friend would." He muttered under his breath; barely audible.

Steven went bright red as he glanced between you and Walker. He looked down at the table.

Melanie stood up and said. "Guys. This is your chance to ask Brendan any questions you might have about his company. He has kindly set aside some time to answer any questions you might have for him now."

Steven looked so uncomfortable. It almost looked like he could cry any second and Brendan knew that he was the cause so he made a show of looking at his watch and said,

"Actually, I'm sorry, Melanie. there has been a change to my schedule. I have a meeting soon so I'm afraid I am going to have to go."

Paul scrolled down his computer tablet and said, "Um, boss, your schedule is clear for the next hour."

Brendan looked at him in annoyance, then at Steven, willing the lad to look up from the table.

_Just for a second look at_ _me._

"It is an unscheduled meeting." He said crisply to his PA.

With that he spun on his heel and walked out of the meeting room.


	17. Melanie

_**Hi Folks,**_

_**I feel like I should call this chapter "Flashback" for all the references to previous chapters that it has. Hope you like it. Thank you for all your comments on the story. I love your theories on whodunit. The list is deliberately exhaustive, however, the moustachioed Poirots amongst you will probably realise it can only really be one of maybe three people *nudge nudge hint hint*! **_

_**Chips xxx**_

_**Also thank you for the kind words re: my personal s**t. It's all good in the hood now (-ish-) so lets talk pure Stendan now. hugs**_

_**{~}**_

"Actually, Melanie. There has been a change to my schedule. I have a meeting so I'm afraid I am going to have to go."

Paul scrolled down his computer tablet and said, "Um, boss, your schedule is clear for the next hour."

Brendan looked at him in annoyance, then at Steven, willing the lad to look up from the table.

_Just for a second look at_ _me._

"It is an unscheduled meeting." He said crisply to his PA.

With that he spun on his heel and walked out of the meeting room.

He heard Walker say a quick, "See you around ladies and gentlemen," to the group of employees before following him and Paul out of the room.

"What unscheduled meeting?" Paul asked Brendan anxiously, trying to keep up with his boss's brisk pace. The PA looked back at the meeting room. "We just got there."

Brendan ignored him as he headed for his office.

"Hey Bren, wait up! Where are you rushing off to?" Walker tailed him.

"Don't you have work to do, Walker?" Brendan replied over his shoulder. He needed to be alone. "Do it."

"I earmarked the whole morning for that meet and greet." Walker replied as he fell into step with the Irishman. "I like seeing a project through."

"You didn't need to come in the first place and you don't need to stay now." Brendan said shortly. "So go."

Walker started to chortle; a cackle which turned into a belly laugh. "Fuck's sake!"

"What?"

"You're sulking like a child."

"Fuck off."

"It's because of that tasty prime cut of human flesh in there, isn't it?" Walker said, nudging his head in the direction they had come from.

Paul was still walking behind them, quietly listening.

Brendan's brisk pace faltered for a second. His hands balled into angry fists. He did not want Walker talking about Steven. Not here in his offices. Not in front of his secretary who had unknowingly been instrumental in Brendan's interactions with the lad. Not now when seeing the lad still felt like a fresh open wound.

"I don't know what you are talking about, Walker." Brendan said.

Walker grinned at the Irishman's attempt to play dumb.

"I'll jog your memory then. Your 'business associate'. The lad giving you the startled eyes back there. I'm pretty sure he introduced himself as Caden at the steakhouse, though, not 'Ste'."

Brendan stopped in his tracks and whipped round to face Simon.

'_So you work with him, huh? What do you do for him, Caden?'_

'_Computer graphics mainly. I design websites but I also create software packages.'_

'_Pretty and smart. Don't know where you find them, Bren.'_

"I use the term 'business associate' loosely of course." Walker added. "I'd say he is more like a-"

Before he knew it Brendan took a firm hold of his arm, silencing him, and dragged him into a small adjacent room full of stationary.

Paul looked at them in astonishment so Brendan closed the door to the room, shutting his confused PA out.

"Jesus, Bren!" Walker rubbed his arm gingerly when Brendan let go of him. "What was that for?"

"Shut up about him." Brendan growled.

Simon's face registered new understanding as he studied Brendan's strained face.

_Fuck me. This thing with the young lad is more than skin deep, highly sensitive material. Not for the gossip columns. _

"Sorry." Walker said. "I didn't realise."

"Realise what?" Brendan tried to calm down.

"That it's serious between you."

Brendan shook his head. "It's not."

Walker ignored his comment. "What's with him having two different names?"

'_My name is not Caden. My name is Ste. Steven. Hay. So there. Now you know.'_

"Caden's a nickname." Brendan muttered the lie because the lad's real name was a whispered secret in the middle of the night, never intended to be heard.

Now, however, if Brendan wanted he could access thre young man's personal file to find out where he lived, what his marital status was, previous employers, his real phone number. He could gain access to facts about Steven in a way he hadn't been able to before.

Not that he wanted or cared to. No. But this situation was peculiar. How could Steven coming to work for him in his company be the result of chance alone? What were the odds of that? Had the lad orchestrated it all; systematically found out how to get a job there by snooping through Brendan's things when the Irishman wasn't looking to secure himself a place in _Clover Corp?_

Had this been a well-executed elaborate plan?

"Shit."

Steven, his escort, the man who had stormed out of his apartment weeks ago as if he never wanted to see Brendan again was now working right here in his offices.

It was so fucking messy.

"Have you had a lover's tiff?" Walker raised a curious eyebrow at him. "Because a blind man couldn't miss the daggers he was giving you, mate. Didn't look happy to see you at all."

Walker looked like he was enjoying rubbing salt into Brendan's wounds. He walked right up to the man, invading his personal space, and looked at him like predator assessing prey.

"You can choose to take or leave this bit of advice but I'm going to give it to you anyway. I'm not sure mixing business and pleasure is a good idea. Not that I blame you, mate. I'm sure there are worse things than having your sexy boyfriend around at all times but he will also be your employee."

"Let's get this straight. He is not my boyfriend." Brendan snarled.

"Lover then. Fuck buddy. Friend with benefits. Whatever. Come on, it's obvious. You can't deny it."

Brendan's jaw was set in anger. "He isn't any of those things. You got that?"

"But he was." Walker said. Brendan flexed his fingers into fists so his business associate gave him a small knowing grin. "Thought so."

_Knob_.

Brendan did not like the fact that Walker knew the little he knew about him and Steven. From past experience the Brummie was good at using sensitive information to his advantage. After all that is how the Kilner shipping property ended up becoming his.

Walker could very easily hold Brendan's association with Steven over the Irishman if he got an inkling that it was in anyway important so Brendan said,

"He is just another employee now."

"Yeah? You sure you're not into him?" Walker sounded like he didn't believe him.

"He provided a warm body to toy with. That's all."

Walker gave him a sly grin. "That surprises me. He doesn't strike me the love'em and leave'em sort. He's the kind you take home to meet your mother."

Brendan smirked. That was Steven's dichotomy. Part Madonna. Part whore. A prostitute that he had introduced to his sister and Mary, the true maternal figure in his life.

"Don't get me wrong he's hot Brendan but there's something between the ears too." Walker continued. "Otherwise Melanie wouldn't have hired him. What did he say he did again? Computer graphics and software designer?"

Why was Walker so interested? Brendan didn't like this conversation one bit.

"Something like that."

"Yeah. He's... nice." Walker mused, then suddenly, "Can I go now? Not that I am complaining about being locked up in a stationary cupboard with you but your secretary is probably going to start asking questions soon. Two grown gay men locked in a stationary cupboard together for more than ten minutes. This is how porno scenes start."

He reached for the door handle.

"Actually before I go I wanted to ask you something." Walker said. "You know how much I value our working relationship and I don't want to break one of the golden rules of male friendships so I just want you to know about my intentions."

"When did we become friends?" Brendan said drily.

Walker smiled. "True. True. Fine. So I probably don't need to warn you that I plan to ask Ste out for a drink."

"A drink." Brendan's cheek twitched. He smoothed his moustache down slowly as a swirl of jealousy erupted in him.

Walker smiled. "Yeah."

"When?" Brendan croaked.

The smile turned knowing. "Does it matter? I thought you said he is just another employee."

{~}

Ste wasn't paying attention to the PowerPoint presentation that Melanie was delivering in the dark meeting room. His mind was elsewhere. His thoughts were on Brendan.

"You alright, mate?" Guy whispered to him for the second time in ten minutes.

Ste felt his new friend's hand land on his thigh and give it a gentle squeeze.

"Yeah." He whispered into Guy's ear. "Stop asking."

The truth was that he hadn't taken in anything that Melanie or anyone else had said from the moment he saw Brendan. He didn't know how he was going to get through the rest of the day never mind the rest of his contract having discovered Brendan was his boss.

"It's just that you look like you're about to have a breakdown. Swear down."

A portrait shot of Brendan flashed onto the projector screen with his name along with '_CEO of Clover Corporation'_ written in huge capital letters. In it he looked composed, serious and unwavering. Not the way Ste knew him to be when they had been alone together; when Brendan was light-hearted, playful, goofy, protective and cheeky most of the time.

Ste had fallen in love with an alter ego; one that confessed to a fear of drains, took him angling on misty mornings and remembered his preference for seafood.

The real Brendan was someone who had no time for that sort of thing. A big cheese. A mover and shaker. A property magnate of wealth and power far beyond what Ste could have imagined.

Ste couldn't believe that he hadn't put two and two together and realised who Brendan was until today. It made him feel incredibly stupid for daring to think that maybe he would have registered on Brendan's radar as a prospective partner. A meaningful other half.

He hung his head in shame as he recalled the things he had said and done that Brendan must have laughed about later because they demonstrated how gauche the escort was.

'_This is going to sound really dumb but what's surf and turf?'_

Or,

'_You and me, we have seen each other every day for the last four days. Have you noticed?'_

'_Yes.'_

'_You're going to be skint. Seeing me all the time like this.'_

'_I'll be fine. I've got deep pockets.'_

Or,

'_It was a small price to pay to see you happy, Caden.'_

'_A small price to pay.'_

'_That is not what I meant.'_

'_Like paying me £2000 a week is a small price to pay for the use of my body!'_

Brendan had seen hints of how Ste lived through driving his old beaten up car and knowing that his best friend lived in a council flat.

Ste had always known that they were from different walks of life but now it felt like they were from different planets where Brendan's was paved in gold and his in shit. How could they ever find a common language?

"This is the area of real estate we are going to be developing. Some of you may have heard of _Kilner Inc_. and may be familiar with the waterfront shipping property that has recently been purchased by _Clover Corp_ for development."

Ste looked up at the projector.

No.

Fucking.

Way.

The familiar faces of Ted, Victoria and Fred Kilner came on the screen.

He felt like vomiting. Was that why he was here at headquarters; to work on a property whose purchase he had both helped and hindered? How in a million years had this happened?

He felt claustrophobic. The walls were closing in and there wasn't enough oxygen in the room to fill his lungs.

"The land has been levelled. Now we need to move quickly." Melanie droned on. "While you all have desk jobs you will still be instrumental at every phase of this project including construction, marketing, and management and selling when the time comes. You will be working with our architects, builders, surveyors and more. Brendan likes to keep an eye on all _Clover Corp's_ new projects, particularly at the beginning, so take the opportunity to learn from him. I promise, his bark is far worse than his bite."

She gave them all a friendly smile which Ste met with a horrified expression.

'_I guess kissing. Right?'_

'W_ith what? Lips? Tongue? You okay with light biting? Nibbling? Love bites?'_

Ste stood up, scraping the legs of his chair against the floor as he pushed it back quickly. He couldn't do this. He couldn't work with Brendan and act as if nothing had happened between them.

It was impossible. His chest tightened impossibly.

"Ste, what are you doing?" Guy whispered.

"Sorry." Ste said then rushed out of the room gasping for air.

He managed to find a male restroom. There didn't appear to be anyone else there so he leaned over a sink and tried to catch his breath while staring at his reflection in the mirror above it.

He was breathing really fast unable to catch his breath. He clutched his chest which felt like a lead weight was on it. He was weak and light-headed. His lips and fingers were beginning to tingle.

_I am having a heart attack_.

His visual field narrowed as if he was looking down a tunnel. He closed his eyes.

He heard a toilet flush and then a cubicle open and shut behind him. He wasn't alone. Shit.

This was embarrassing and pathetic but he couldn't stop hyperventilating or open his eyes as he clutched the edge of the sink for balance.

"Are you okay?" The stranger's voice was concerned. "You're sweating."

Ste tried to speak but couldn't.

"I think you should sit down." Ste's upper arms were firmly gripped as he was gently coaxed to the floor. "Can't have you faint and drop like a sack of spuds."

He let his head flop back to lean on the wall behind him.

"Give me a minute." The stranger's footsteps moved out of the bathroom only to return less than a minute later. "Here. Breath into this bag. Slowly."

Ste felt something made of paper placed into his hand.

"It had my breakfast in it but it will do." The stranger said gently.

Ste did as instructed, catching a smell of fresh pastry with every inhaled breath, until he gradually felt himself calm down. He opened his eyes to see a brown paper bag obstructing his field of vision. He immediately recognised it as a _Coffee Hut_ bag. Its open end was attached to his nose and mouth, inflating and deflating as he breathed into it. Beyond it a young suited man was kneeling and looking at him.

Ste had seen him earlier.

The man recognised him too. God. The shame. What a crap impression to give on a first day.

"You were having a panic attack." The man said.

Ste whispered into the bag. "It were a heart attack, I think."

"You are too young and fit to be having heart attacks." The man smiled as he sat down next to him. "My sister used to get anxiety attacks all the time when she was a kid. I can spot them a mile off."

Cheeky smile. Nice smile. A memorable smile.

"How are you feeling now?" The man said.

There was a tattoo of a dragon on his neck. It curled around the right side as if threatening to strangle him. Not the kind of ink that one would expect in an office setting. It contrasted with otherwise very smart office clothes covering a compact body.

Ste slowly took the bag off his face and tried a smile of his own.

"Better." He whispered. Then more forcefully. "Sorry. I feel a right twat. I thought I were going to die."

"It's all that adrenaline. It's part of a fight or flight response."

"Flight please."

_Get me as far away from Brendan as humanly possible._

There was a confused smile. "What?"

"Nothing." Ste said quickly.

"You've only just started today. Please don't tell me that we have put you off already!"

"Um. No." Ste tried to stand up but his companion stopped him.

"Take your time. Your feet will still feel unsteady."

"Okay." Ste settled back down again. Look, uh, you must have a ton of work to do…" _And I have to escape from this building_, "… so I don't want to keep you." He gave the man back his paper bag. "Thank you."

"I'm not going until you stop looking like you are going to keel over."

His companion crossed his legs and faced him.

"My name is Paul by the way."

"Ste." Ste said.

"Ste?" Paul looked at him closely.

Ste tried a smile. "Yeah. Short for Steven."

"I like your glasses." Paul said suddenly. "Where did you get them?"

_Random_, Ste thought. _A bit out of the blue_.

"Um. Thanks." He blushed involuntarily as he scrambled to find a lie. "A friend. I mean, they were a birthday present from a friend. Why?"

He self-consciously touched the frame of his glasses.

"Alexander McQueen?"

Ste nodded incredulously. "How did you know?"

"I've got a mate who has an identical pair. They don't come cheap."

"Um, yeah. Generous friend I guess."

"Looks like it." Paul gave him an indecipherable look so Ste looked down at his lap in case his face gave away the truth. "Anyway. Don't get put off by this place. It can seem intimidating sometimes being somewhere new, meeting new people. But remember that you wouldn't be here if you didn't deserve it and I promise we are all alright really."

"Um. Yeah. I know."

"Even the boss…" Paul said slowly. "Brendan."

"Huh?" Ste tried to act unfazed by the name check but he could feel himself clamming up.

"The big man himself. I'm his PA."

"Oh."

That is why Paul had been by Brendan's side at the meeting. Why was Ste not surprised? Brendan having a hottie working immediately under him.

How predictable.

"You can probably tell because of the grey hairs on my chest."

Ste studied Paul's shirt.

"Made you look." Paul whispered point blank.

Ste rolled his eyes. The man was flirting. Definitely.

"Smooth." He said with a sarcastic smile.

So Paul was Brendan's _gay_ PA.

Fuck's sake. Knowing Brendan's libido if he hadn't fucked the man then he had at least thought about it... several times.

What was that in Ste's gut? A belly full of jealousy perhaps?

"I know." Paul grinned. "That's how I got the job. I have a knack of making things happen. Brendan calls me 'the man that can'."

Ste didn't understand why Paul felt the need to share this. It almost felt like bragging so he kept quiet. He got the impression that there was something else Paul wanted to say but refrained from it.

"Um, who was the guy you were with when you came in earlier? Not Brendan, I mean, Mr. Brady. The other guy."

Ste blushed at his slip up. He hoped Paul wouldn't think anything of it.

He was referring to Walker. During their dinner in Liverpool Brendan had said little more than the fact that Walker was a business associate.

"Simon Walker. He and Brendan go way back. Before_ Clover Corp_. He doesn't work for the company though. I think it suits them both that way. He is a free agent. I suppose you could say he is a property scout. Looks out for real estate that is ripe for plucking and Brendan tends to be the one he takes his finds to."

"He seems… wild."

"You could say that. He is a law unto himself." Paul made a show of looking at his watch. "Well, I guess I should get back to work before Brendan notices I'm gone."

He stood up and extended his hand to help Ste up onto his feet as well. "Honestly, this isn't a bad place to work. Just think of all the competition you beat to get here. You deserve to be here and I think you'll like it. You've just got to give it a chance."

"We'll see."

"Are you going to go back to induction?"

Ste nodded slowly. "Yeah. I think so."

"Good. I'm glad." Paul smiled. "I guess I'll see you around… Ste."

{~}

_It's no big deal._

_It's no big deal._

_It's no big deal._

That is what Brendan kept chanting to himself as his conversation with Walker knocked about his skull, taunting him.

'_I plan to ask Ste out for a drink.'_

What's the problem with that? Walker was a free agent. Steven was a free agent. Brendan was a free agent. If Walker wanted to have a go with Ste then he could go ahead. Just because Brendan had had him didn't give him permanent rights to the lad.

_Fuck it. _

_It's no big deal._

Brendan just wished his body, thoughts and emotions could catch up with his words. What did Walker mean by 'a drink' exactly? One thing was for sure; the man would not just settle for a beverage with Steven; maybe a one night stand or something a bit more serious. That was what Walker had alluded to; that he liked Ste for more than just a hook up.

Why couldn't the man find someone to mess with that wasn't so linked to Brendan?

There was something suspect, Brendan thought. Walker was probably only going to try it on with Steven to mess with him, not out of a genuine like for the lad.

Brendan had to intervene somehow and make sure that Walker didn't have a chance to get anywhere near Steven… for the lad's sake, of course. Not because Brendan couldn't palate the idea of him with his business associate. No. His reasons were entirely selfless.

These were desperate times.

Desperate times called for desperate measures.

{~}

Ste was filling out paperwork with the other new employees of _Clover Corp_ at the end of the day; car parking permits, IT login request forms etc.

It was five thirty; past the end of a regular working day. The enthusiasm and excitement that had coursed through everyone at the beginning of the day was long gone. Every one of the new staff members was ready for the day to end.

Ste had already been given his ID badge that gave him access to various parts of the building. Every employee had access specifications that were tailored to their job description.

"I don't know about you but my brain has turned to mush." Guy said tiredly. "Information overload."

"Yeah." Ste said.

_You can't imagine how I feel._

"Nothing a pint of lager can't sort out." Guy said with a grin. "I think I spotted a pub round the corner. You in?"

"I think I might head straight home, me." Ste said. "I've got to see Ames and the kids, ain't I?"

"Come on! Not even for a cheeky one?"

"Um-"

His phone started ringing. He assumed it was either Doug or Amy given that they were the only people who rang him with any regularity but when he looked at the screen it showed a blocked number.

He swallowed a lump of fear thinking about threats and unwanted mail.

"You going to answer that?" Guy gave him a curious look.

"Yeah. 'Course." Ste swallowed hard as he put the handset to his ear.

"Hello?" He whispered hesitantly.

There was a pause. No reply. Just some light breathing. Ste could hear it. Someone was on the line. He tried not to show his panic as he repeated,

"Hello?"

"Who is it?" Guy mouthed.

Ste shrugged, feeling the tension of his back muscles. He turned away from his friend and hissed into the phone,

"I can hear you breathing, you freak."

"Caden."

Ste practically jumped at hearing Brendan's smooth drawl over the line.

Caden. That is what Brendan called him. Still. Even though by now he must have known Ste's real name.

_Once a whore always a whore. _That is what his letters said and it looked like Brendan agreed.

"I want you in my office in half an hour's time."

"How did you get my number?" Ste whispered tensely.

He was happy, sad, angry and regretful. He was all these emotions and more.

"I'm the CEO. Call it a perk of the job."

"Um." Ste looked around at his work colleagues in the meeting room as they filled out forms. "I can't. I am in induction then I have to get going."

"It wasn't a request, Caden. I'm on the top floor. End of the corridor. Use your ID to get in. I've authorised your access."

With that Brendan ended the call.

"Bad news?" Guy asked.

"Don't know." Ste said deflated. "I just got the feeling that this might be my first and last day here."

{~}

Ste left the building with Melanie, Guy and the other staff that had been at induction at the end of the day. The car park was virtually empty suggesting that pretty much everyone else had left for home already. Just as he approached his car he turned to Guy and pretended that he had forgotten something in the building.

"So I'll catch you tomorrow, yeah?" Guy said.

"Yeah. Sure." Ste replied but he didn't for a minute think that he would ever set foot on _Clover Corp_ soil ever again. Not if Brendan had anything to do with it.

He was sure Brendan was about to fire him.

"Give me a ring if you change your mind about the pub tonight."

"I will."

Ste made his way up to the top floor of the building in one of the lifts. It felt like walking to his own execution.

It was like an execution because he was sure that Brendan was going to fire him.

What was he going to tell Amy and the kids?

_Sorry, but basically they let me go after only three weeks but not because I wasn't up to scratch work-wise. It was because I had sex with the boss without knowing he was the boss._

_Daddy was a naughty boy._

It made sense that Brendan would want him gone. His reaction to Ste in the meeting room said it all. He had rushed out of there like a bat out of hell; appalled by the lad's presence because it revealed a side to him that men felt uneasy owning up to. The fact that they sometimes paid for sex whether real or virtual.

Ste's presence in Brendan's corporation was too uncomfortable a prospect to handle. Walker, who was some kind of right hand man, knew that Ste's relationship with Brendan went beyond that of a professional one. If the man decided to pry further there was a real chance that he would find out about who Ste was. What he used to do for a living. What he did for Brendan.

That was the kind of story that someone in Brendan's position could do without.

_Hot off the press: Brendan Brady, CEO of Clover Corp, One of UK and Ireland's Biggest Real Estate Developers, hires his former rent-boy into his organisation._

The _Chester_ _Gazette_ would eat that up for breakfast. The story could even make the financial sections of some national tabloids.

There was no way Brendan would risk it. It was far easier to just get rid of Ste.

The halls of the building were empty as he followed Brendan's instructions and walked along the top corridor to its end.

A single door faced him. He swiped his card along a black reader and he heard it unlock to reveal an open unoccupied reception area with waiting chairs and a secretary's desk. A picture of Paul hugging a young woman on it informed Ste that he was in the right place. What he couldn't understand was that the photo suggested Paul was straight but he was sure that there had been undertones of flirtation during their conversation in the bathroom.

He was glad the PA wasn't there though. It would have been hard to explain why he was here visiting the CEO of a major company given that he was a lowly new employee.

He crossed the room to stand in front of the door directly behind the desk. He smoothed his hair down, adjusted his clothes and rucksack and took a deep breath in and out.

_Hold your head up high. You got the job at least. It proves that you can do it. That you are worth it. You could have never anticipated this happening in a million years; Brendan being your boss. That's just unlucky. _

_And don't show him how much he affects you._

He knocked on the door.

There was no reply so he opened the door and entered an office that was unnecessarily large. Two out of the four walls were wall to wall windows giving perfect views out to the rest of Chester. The room dripped with simple elegance; minimalist expensive interior décor that reminded Ste of Brendan's apartment.

Brendan was sitting behind his desk with files open in front of him, fingers poised over a keyboard and a mug of coffee by his side. He stopped what he was doing and sat back to look at Ste.

Up and down.

He was slow enough in his perusal to make Ste feel self-conscious.

The employee ignored the insane flutter he felt in his core when his eyes finally met Brendan's.

"Paul, your PA, wasn't outside so…" He cleared his throat and stood awkwardly near the door. "You wanted me to come?"

God. He hadn't intended it to sound like a pun but, boy, it did.

Brendan had the decency to keep a straight face. "Yes I did."

Ste stood up straight, squaring his shoulders. "So. Yeah. I'm here."

"Sit down." Brendan said. "Please."

Ste took a seat but kept his posture. Straight backed. Ready to hear the bad news.

Could the man in front of him, this sharply dressed mogul really be the same guy who drew circles on his lower back when he was trying to doze off after sex or who ordered some fishy take out on Ste's request or reduced him to a puddle of need with his body?

It seemed impossible.

"Can we just cut to the chase, please?" He said suddenly. "Why did you want to see me?"

Brendan raised a brow. "Did you know who I was before you came to work here? When we were together."

"We were never together."

Brendan waved his hand dismissively. "You know what I mean."

Ste frowned. What was Brendan suggesting exactly? That he had planned this somehow? "No, I don't. What are you trying to say?"

Brendan interlinked his fingers and placed his elbows on his desk.

"That maybe you realised early on that you were fucking the head of a big company and decided that you would use him, me, to get out of your situation."

Ste choked out an incredulous laugh. "Are you serious?"

"Yes."

Ste felt a sharp pain in his heart. How could Brendan think that of him?

He whispered, "Then you don't know me at all, Brendan. I would never do that."

Brendan looked at him unwaveringly. His hard expression softened after a moment. He nodded then took a slow shaky breath. Ste thought it looked like relief.

"No. You wouldn't." The older man rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Sorry. Today has been a long day. A shitty one."

Ste smirked at that.

_It must be painful to earn so much cash all the time and have to fire someone completely insignificant and inconsequential to your life to spare yourself embarrassment,_ he thought. _Meanwhile my headache is real. When you fire me, I have to think about where I am going to find money to feed, clothe and house my family. You have no idea what a shit day is, Brendan._

"I was shocked to see you in the meeting room today." Brendan said.

Ste didn't know what to say to that so he opted for honesty.

"Me too." He said quietly.

"It was… awkward."

Ste nodded. "Don't worry. Your secret is safe. About us. No one knows. Believe me, it's not something I am proud of. I don't want it to become public knowledge any more than you do."

"That is not why I found it awkward." Brendan said bluntly.

"Then why-?"

"The last time we met." Brendan said carefully. "It wasn't my finest hour."

Ste swallowed hard as he remembered how he had felt at being an unwitting pawn in Brendan's plan to advance a business deal; how he had drunkenly shouted at Brendan all because he was hurt and heartbroken.

"It wasn't mine either."

"I didn't mean to make you feel that way. How Ted made it sound, like I used your friend, that's not how it played out."

"It doesn't matter, Brendan. It's not like our contract were going to last forever anyway. I'm sure you've found someone who doesn't give you a headache like I did."

The Irishman grunted but then said nothing.

Time ticked away without a word spoken. Ste was starting to wonder at what point Brendan was going to put him out of his misery and fire him.

This was like prolonging the agony.

"So you do software and graphic design?" Brendan said.

At the same time Ste said, "If you want to fire me then can we please just get it over with?"

"What?" They replied at the same time.

"Why would I fire you?" Brendan asked.

Ste looked at him like he was thick. "Um, because you don't want people to find out about what happened between us."

_Duh_.

"You told me you weren't going to say anything to anyone."

"I'm not." Ste said.

"Well then. There is no problem, is there?"

"What about Walker. He saw us in Liverpool."

"He saw us have a meal. That's all."

Ste thought about it for a minute. "I guess. And you are sure it's not going to be weird for you; having me here?"

"Not if it's okay with you." Brendan straightened up in his seat. "Is it?"

Ste chewed on his lower lip nervously as he looked at Brendan.

Tricky question.

Could he respond to Brendan like a normal boss and forget about what they had been through before today? The answer had to be yes because otherwise he was back on the job market.

He licked his lips slowly and took the plunge. "Yes. I think I can. We just have to act normal with each other. Like we were never, you know."

{~}

The way he said that 'you know' was equal parts shy and cheeky, like they were sharing a secret. They were. It got Brendan all hot under the collar thinking about it.

What was he doing? This was madness. What had happened to his plan to let the boy go? The minute Steven walked into his office the plan had flown out the window.

Walker had warned against mixing business and pleasure but there would be no pleasure here. This was purely business. Melanie saw something in Steven's skills and talents. Who was Brendan to mess with that?

He just had to remain professional with the lad. They were no longer client and rent-boy, john and trick.

They were boss and employee.

"There's just one more thing before you go." He said, putting on his most authoritative voice.

"Yes?"

Fuck. It was the way Steven looked at him. Did he even know he was giving Brendan the eye? Deliciously seductive without trying to be?

Brendan cleared his throat. "Walker. He-. Uh. You want to keep a distance from him."

"Why?"

_Because he wants you and I can't let the fucker have you._

"He is bad news."

"But you work with him. Paul said you have known each other for years."

"When did you speak to Paul?"

"He, um, helped me out in the restrooms earlier." Steven blushed hard. "I mean, nothing sexual or nothing. Just. Anyway it doesn't matter."

Brendan smiled. "It couldn't have been anything sexual. Paul's straight."

"Definitely?"

Brendan nodded in amusement. "He is a good kid… unlike Walker. I work with Simon but I don't trust him and neither should you."

"Oh." The lad looked confused but nodded. "Okay."

Steven got to his feet so Brendan automatically followed suit.

"I have to go. Now." He looked at Brendan with eyes that could only be described as pleading.

"Sure." Brendan rounded the desk.

The lad took a few steps back, backing away from Brendan.

_Careful. Don't try anything, you old perv. He could have you on sexual harassment charges._

'_Tell us what happened, Mr Hay?'_

'_Mr Brady called me to his office out of hours and then tried it on with me when he knew no one else was in by trying to kiss and grope me.'_

'_It's true, your honour, I did.'_

Brendan pushed his hands into the pockets of his suit trousers and watched as Steven followed his every move.

The lad pupils dilated and his mouth hung just slightly open to reveal his tongue which lightly ran along the tips of his upper teeth.

Steven fancied him. Surely with the way he was looking at Brendan it wasn't wishful thinking. Was it? And it wasn't an act. There was no need for it to be. He wasn't on Brendan's sex payroll anymore.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." Brendan said before he did something he might regret.

The young man blinked slowly.

"Um, y-yeah. I m-mean, Maybe." Ste stuttered.

Brendan offered him his hand and smiled. He felt a sense of supreme calm when Steven grasped it firmly without hesitation and smiled back, tentatively. Nothing more than a squeeze of fingers. Warm skin on skin.

Incredible.

"Welcome to the team, Steven."

The small smile became an ear splitting grin. "You called me Steven."

"That's your name."

To Brendan it felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. For a while now he had thought of the lad as Steven. In his head that is who the young man was but he had played the game and called him by his alias to his face.

No more.

"It's just, people call me Ste."

Brendan pulled his hand away. Their handshake had already lasted longer than was acceptable.

"I prefer Steven."

"Okay." Smile. "… Mr Brady."


	18. Walker

**Dear folks,**

**So I changed this chapter quite a bit from what I initially planned to write. I think I like what it sets up but I guess we'll see. As some of you have pointed out there are a lot of guys who might have it in for Ste and an almost equal number who seem to want to get with him... or maybe both!**

**Chips x**

**{~}**

Ste's small smile became an ear splitting grin.

"You called me Steven."

"That's your name."

"It's just, people call me Ste."

Brendan pulled his hand away. Ste understood why. Their handshake had already lasted longer than was acceptable.

"I prefer Steven." Brendan said.

"Okay." Smile. "… Mr Brady."

Ste had intended for it to sound formal and polite but it came out suggestive.

Heavily suggestive.

Or had it? Maybe Brendan hadn't heard that intonation.

Bollocks.

There was a moment of loud silence. It was electric. Thick enough to cut with a knife. Charged enough to power Chester and Liverpool combined.

"I'm going to go." Ste whispered.

Brendan's smile dropped. His eyes bored into Ste's; penetrating them and yet giving nothing away.

"You do that." He said after a beat. He cleared his throat. "I have, uh, work to do."

Ste watched as Brendan sat at his desk once again. The older man picked up some papers and started looking through them; silently dismissing the younger man by ignoring him.

It was well past six pm and yet it didn't look like Brendan was about to go home any time soon. It confirmed what Ste had suspected; that the man was a workaholic.

"I don't think you should work so hard." He said before he could stop himself.

_Stupid. What makes you think that Brendan cares what you think?_

Doug's words of advice #9-

'_No one appreciates unsolicited advice however well-intentioned it is. Pisses people off.'_

Brendan put his papers down and looked up at Ste.

"I'm just saying." Ste continued softly. "There is more to life."

_Shut up already_._ Idiot._

"Is there?" Brendan leaned back in his seat and interlinked his fingers, calling attention to hands that had once held Ste and made him feel so alive and on fire. "Like what?"

"Like, um…" Ste's gaze moved up from Brendan's hands to lock onto the older man's lips. A subconscious move that was out of his control.

Brendan raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"Um." Ste's cheeks pinked up. "I don't know... being with family and friends?"

Brendan looked him up and down, slowly. "Thanks for your concern but I think you should be concentrating on the job you have been employed to do here. If that's all…"

"No. I mean, yeah." Ste said quickly. "That's it. I think."

"Bye, Steven."

{~}

The second Ste stepped out of the office and into the reception area that housed Paul's desk he leaned back against the office door and released an almighty sigh and with it all the tension that he had held in his body when with Brendan.

He smiled to himself. He had managed to speak to Brendan man to man. He had held it together. He had made it to the end and he still had his job. And he was pretty sure that he hadn't given away his stupid love feelings despite a small slip up or two. They were 'love feelings' that he was sure he could get rid of in no time especially since the Brendan in the office behind him wasn't anything like the man he had known as an escort. This man was strictly professional giving nothing away to suggest that he remembered or reminisced over the time they had shared before.

He pushed his rucksack further up his shoulder just as his phone started to ring loudly. He answered it quickly without checking the caller ID.

He was hoping it was Doug who he hadn't spoken to since his job interview but assumed it would be Amy checking on how his first day at _Clover Corp._ had gone.

"Hiya." He whispered and looked back at the opaque office door hoping Brendan hadn't heard the ringing.

"Hi, Ste. It's Sue. Are you free to speak?"

Ste recognised the female detective's voice straight away. He immediately tensed up. Were Amy and the kids okay? Why was she calling?

"Detective Rollins? Um, yeah. Is everything okay?"

"Yes. I have some news for you."

"Just a second." Ste rapidly crossed the CEO office's reception area and swiped himself out to get out of earshot of his boss/ex-lover and walked into the dark empty corridors of the rest of the building. "Okay."

"There has been a significant development in your case."

"Really?" Ste was incredulous. He stopped in his tracks.

After three months of receiving malicious mail without a single lead from the police, he had given up hope that they would ever get to the bottom of it. The threats had become a background hum in his life. Like wool on skin; irritant in the beginning then tolerably benign because the perpetrator seemed to show no intention to follow through on his or her terrorisations.

"What I am about to tell you… I want you to stay calm, Ste. Okay?" The detective said. "In fact I want you to sit down."

Wasn't the litany of written intimidation just a sick joke fabricated by a damaged but ineffectual individual?

Ste was immediately anxious. "What is it?"

His voice echoed through the long vacant corridor he was in. He looked left then right. He was all alone. There was something spooky about the emptiness and the strobe effect created by the flicker of the dying fluorescent tube light that was above him so he quickly made his way to the toilets at the end of the corridor hoping for better constant lighting.

"Are you sitting?" Detective Rollins asked.

He entered the unoccupied bathroom and turned on the lights.

"Yes." He lied. He gripped his phone tighter and swallowed hard. "Tell me."

"Two hours ago we apprehended a man fleeing from the scene of a robbery in Chester town centre."

"Okay?" Ste didn't get the relevance of that to his case.

"We have Caden in custody, Ste. He is here. We think we have our man."

{~}

Brendan couldn't concentrate on his work.

Now that his new employee had just left in a haze of awkwardness and that familiar citrusy aftershave there was no hope of him knuckling down and being productive.

'_I don't think you should work so hard. I'm just saying. There is more to life.'_

'_Is there? Like?'_

'_Like… um, I don't know…'_

Brendan knew. Unlike Ste, he was not thinking about 'friends and family'. What he was thinking about was not worth thinking about though because he couldn't have and shouldn't want it anymore.

It was futile dwelling on it.

He heard a mobile phone ring just outside his office door. He went quiet as he heard Steven answer it quickly.

"Hiya… Detective Rollins? Um, yeah. Is everything okay?"

What the what? Brendan sat up straight in his chair. What the heck was Steven talking to a detective for? Was he is trouble?

A second later he heard the swipe access door open and close as Steven left his office area.

Brendan instinct was to follow the lad but his own phone started to ring.

"Hi, Bren! Guess where I am right now?" Cheryl said gleefully.

"No." He replied.

She ignored his caustic mood. "In your apartment."

Brendan groaned in dismay. He really had to make changing the locks to his home a priority.

"But you aren't here." She added.

"Sis, never let it be said that you are as thick as two planks. Your powers of deduction are staggering."

"Are you still at work?"

"Yes." He sighed.

"I'm going to make fajitas. When will you be done?"

"Probably never."

"You're funny. So I thought that you could invite Caden. Does he like Mexican? I think me and him would get along." She said. "Obviously not in a romantic sense. More like a brother and sister-in-law sense! Ha!"

She was amused.

Brendan wasn't.

"No."

"Why? I thought you guys were getting along and by getting along I mean you were naked and he was naked and things were looking cosy in your boudoir of _lurve_ when I-"

Brendan cut her off. His patience was running thin. "Sis! Jesus. Stop! No. Caden isn't coming over tonight or any other night, okay. Fuck!"

"Have you broken up?" She asked. She sounded genuinely disappointed.

Brendan rubbed his head. Fuck why did his sister always bring on a headache?

He sighed deeply.

"What happened?"

"Nothing. And we haven't 'broken up'. We were-" _never together to begin with._

"Then invite him over. We'll have a laugh and I'll ask him a bunch of inappropriate questions." She butted in excitedly. "Shit! I forgot to get jalapeños. Gotta go. See you later. Love you. Bye."

She put the phone down before Brendan could get any word in edgeways.

{~}

"Did you hear me, Ste? We have Caden."

"I-." He choked out, speaking into the phone. His hand went up to his neck as if coaxing it to expand so that he could breathe easier. "He was in town?"

"Yes."

"Oh my God."

"It's fine. He is in custody now."

"What if he escapes? Or posts bail?"

His voice was small. Laboured.

"Calm down, Ste."

"How long has he been here? In Chester?"

"We don't know for certain but I wouldn't be surprised if he arrived shortly before your first letter was sent."

Ste listened numbly.

"He is being interrogated as we speak, Ste. I should have some more information for you after that."

"Did he mention me?" He asked and then shivered.

"No." The detective said. "Not as far as I know."

Ste sighed with relief.

"We are going to need to ask him questions about the letters. Obviously, we'll keep our enquiry anonymous."

Ste thought of his encounter with Kevin in the alleyway.

'_Guess where I spent the morning? The police station…. They showed me the letters. Even with your name whited out I figured it was you… Ste.'_

"No, you can't. He'll put two and two together and realise it's me." Ste said fretfully. "He'll track me down."

"No he won't. Trust me. He'll be put away. If not for the malicious mail then for the robbery. Don't worry."

Ste was worried.

"What makes you so sure that it has been him?"

There was a pause. "Do I need to remind you of what happened a year ago to you? He is capable of far worse."

Ste stayed quiet.

"What I can't understand is why you didn't give us his name as a possible suspect. Didn't it cross your mind?"

"Of course it did." Ste whispered.

"He could have slipped past us, Ste. It's good fortune I recognised him from your last case when he turned up at the station."

"So what does this mean?" Ste asked, trying to keep his nerves and hope in check. "Is it over? No more letters?"

"He'll need to be formally charged and stand trial. I promise you that I'll do my damnedest to put him away this time but we're going to need your help. You will have to come forward as a witness. Do you understand? You will need to be strong and see this through."

Ste shuddered.

Fuck.

Did that mean he would have to come face to face with Caden again?

"Do you think you can do that, Ste?"

Ste thought about it. He was strong, not like before. He was his own man now. Not the fearful, naïve, misguided boy he once was. So in theory he knew he could step up to the plate and bring Caden down.

BUT…

"If this goes to trial people will find out I used to be a rent boy." He said.

"Have you stopped?"

"Yes. I've got a proper job now."

"Good for you."

"I really want to keep it, Sue. This new job. It's a great opportunity and I know I'd get fired if what I used to do came out in public."

Brendan might be cool with Ste's escorting past as long as no one knew but if the truth ever came out Ste knew that he would be let go.

"It's okay, Ste."

"And in court, Caden's lawyers will use it to try and discredit me, won't they? People will think I am some cheap gold-digging slut or summat."

"You're jumping the gun now. Concentrate on the positive. Caden Mallory has been put away. That means you get to have the safest night's sleep you have had in a long time."

{~}

Ste stepped out of the _Clover Corp_ headquarters and headed for the car park. He really needed to talk to Doug. He hadn't spoken to his best friend since the day before the interview for _BCV Living. _Since then all Ste had received was a text congratulating him for getting the job.

_I knew it, bro. You deserve it. We must all celebrate tonight. By the way, Benji just found your phone at the back of our sofa. Must have slipped out of your bag. I'll bring it along._

That celebration hadn't happened and Ste had yet to get a single reply to his numerous texts and phone calls. Doug had taken their cooling off period literally. It had left Ste feeling frozen out of his friendship with his American mate.

He blamed it entirely on Benjamin.

_Thanks for nothing, Benji._

Doug would have been able to give Ste sound advice on what to do about the Caden situation and maybe even the Brendan one (if Ste had the balls to admit to his friend that until recently, he had still been sexually involved with the man).

Ste couldn't pick Amy's brain. Other than the fact that at the moment she was visiting her father with kids and Lee, the whole Caden issue was too close for her to be impartial.

He couldn't ask Benji for obvious reasons. Right now he was playing up and the reality was Ste only really hang out with him because of Doug.

And he couldn't tell his parents for all sorts of reason, the most important of which was the fact that they did not give a flying fuck about him.

Ste felt lost and alone. There was no one to turn to. No one to thrash things out with. No one that he could call on no matter what. No one who would put him first always, who would be there for him come wind or high water.

Maybe this was a lesson for him. Maybe this was an opportunity to stand on his own two feet and not rely on his friends who had other priorities in life greater than him much as they loved him.

Doug was right.

Doug's words of advice #10-

'_You know how the Blues Brothers say that everybody needs somebody to love?'_

'_No. What's a Blues Brother?'_

'_Sometimes I don't know how we are friends, bro. I'll lend you my DVD sometime. It's a must see movie. Anyway, the Blues Brothers said that everybody needs somebody to love. They were wrong. Do you know what everyone needs? Somebody who makes them feel like the world would stop spinning if they were gone. Trust me.'_

Ste needed to find himself his own Benji or Lee. Someone who made him feel like the world would stop if they were gone.

Not tonight though.

Tonight he planned to wallow at home alone.

He spotted his car in the near empty car park and started to make his way over to it.

"Steven."

Ste gasped in shock and turned around to see Brendan walking behind him.

"Shit, Brendan!" He gasped. "I mean, Mr Brady. You scared me."

He waited for Brendan to catch up with him.

"Were you following me?"

Brendan stuffed one hand in his pocket while the other held onto his briefcase as he drew to a stop. Ste thought he looked ridiculously hot. Suave. Debonair. Composed.

"No. I was walking to my car."

"Oh. It's just, you-, I, uh, thought you were staying back to finish up some work ... in your office."

"I was but then some cocky employee told me that there is more to life."

Brendan gave him a wry smile.

"Oh." Ste smiled as he realised Brendan was referring to him. "Him? He is someone really smart. You should listen to him, keep him close to you."

Brendan raised an eyebrow.

"I mean…" Ste blushed hard.

He really was best off not talking to Brendan at all, _ever, _if he was going to keep coming up with shit like that.

"I know what you mean, Steven." Brendan said.

"I wasn't suggesting anything, you know..." Ste could feel his ears burning. "Anyway." _Stop bloody talking._

He cleared his throat.

Thankfully Brendan changed the subject. "At the office, you had a call."

Ste looked at him with trepidation. So Brendan had heard himtake the call from the detective. He couldn't have heard much though. Ste had been quick to move out of the CEO's office area before engaging inthe phone conversation.

"It sounded important." Brendan said.

Ste nodded then had a rethink. He shook his head. "No. Not really. It were nothing."

Brendan opened his mouth to say something then closed it again. Then said,

"Cheryl, my sister… she is making fajitas-"

Ste's phone beeped cutting Brendan off. He looked apologetically at the Irishman then checked the small screen.

It showed a picture message of Guy smiling while holding a pint in one hand and making a thumb's up sign with his other. Under it was a text message,

_How can you resist this?_

Ste couldn't help but grin.

"Who's that?" Brendan asked.

"A friend." Ste said.

Guy was alright. Ste's grandfather would have called him 'A good egg'; the kind of person that Ste could rely on. A true friend even in the short amount of time they had known each other. That was what Ste needed; a good friend since his were MIA. A cheeky pint wouldn't hurt on his way home.

Brendan looked at Ste's phone and his face creased up into a frown. "He was sitting next to you at the meeting this morning."

"Yeah." Ste shrugged. "Anyway, I've got to go."

"For a drink with your 'friend'?"

"Yes." Ste frowned at Brendan's harsh tone.

What was his problem now?

"Have fun." The Irishman said without an ounce of sincerity.

"I will." Ste replied in annoyance.

He was about to head to his car when he remembered something. "You were saying something about your sister and fajitas."

"Doesn't matter."

With that Brendan stormed off.

{~}

The pub around the corner from _Clover Corp_ was buzzing with employees from the company. Guy weaved through the crowd carrying a third round of drinks from the bar to the table he was sitting at with Ste.

"So tell me why you lied about having to get home to Amy and your kids?" He said as he sat down, joining his friend.

Ste shrugged as he accepted the pint glass Guy gave him and took a healthy pull out of it. He was feeling a mellow buzz run through his body already.

"Dunno. Guess I thought I'd be shit company." _I thought I'd be fired_. "You know, after such a long day."

"Fair enough."

"But I got second wind so."

"Lucky for me." Guy grinned as he ribbed Ste. "Ey, guess what."

"What?"

"This pub's owned by _Clover Corp_. Mr Brady has a finger in literally every single pie." He shuffled up closer to Ste.

Ste took another sip of his lager. He wasn't in the least bit surprised. Brendan probably pretty much owned the city. This small business was a drop in the _Clover Corp_ Ocean and Ste was a molecule. An atom. Barely mass.

Invisible.

"Lucky him." He mumbled.

"So basically if we keep coming here it will be like being paid by _Clover Corp_ only to spill our money right back into Brendan Brady's pockets." Guy said.

"Let's not talk about him."

"Why? He is my hero!"

"He is just a man." Ste's smile did not reach his eyes. "Anyway, next time drinks are on me."

"Next time?"

"Yeah."

"So they'll be a next time, huh?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

Ste wasn't sure why he was walking a tight rope between friendly banter and flirtation. Perhaps it was the feeling of loneliness he had; the craving for company.

"I'm having a really good time with you, Guy."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"What is it? My anecdote about how I am scared of little children? The beer gut? My eye twitch? Because I know they are all very attractive qualities."

Ste laughed.

"But seriously, I'm having a good time too." Guy said.

It was so easy with Guy. There was no pretence. What you saw was what you got. He wasn't one of the hottest men Ste had ever met. In an ideal world he could stand to lose a few pounds. But while he wasn't classically handsome, there was a boy next door appeal about him. He had gentle eyes, an open and caring manner that trumped the physical.

"You're a good egg, Guy." He said.

He leaned in closer to his friend consciously brushing their bodies together. Just slightly. Enough to show intent.

His friend looked at him in amusement. "Who says 'a good egg' now-a-days?"

"Probably no one. My granddad used to." Ste placed his hand on Guy's.

"Ste, are you drunk?"

"Maybe a bit. I'm a lightweight, me. But I mean it about you being an egg." He said earnestly.

Guy tried to keep a straight face. "A good one…"

"Yeah. I think you're ace."

He draped an arm around Guy's shoulder. Stepping it up. Making a move.

"You are too cute, Ste." Guy said.

He looked around the busy pub self-consciously before gently taking Ste's arm off him.

Ste felt the full force of his rejection.

Guy cleared his throat. "Hey, by the way, did your _gaydar_ go off this morning the way mine did?"

God, Guy was actually shifting the mood away from the direction Ste was steering it.

"I don't have _gaydar_. When?"

"When Mr Brady and the two guys who were with him walked into the meeting room. By the way every single one of them is FIT AS. Anyway trust me. They bat for our team. All of them. It was like a pride march with Elton John in leather chaps! That's how much my _gaydar_ went off. Maybe that's why Mr Brady hired us. Positive discrimination or something."

God. Guy spoke even faster when he was tipsy.

Ste shook his head. _Doubt that._

"Your _gaydar_ needs fine tuning. The one with the tattoo on his neck. He is definitely straight."

"No he's not."

"He is." Ste came up with a half-truth. "I-, I bumped into him in the lav. He told me. He has a girlfriend."

"Poor girlfriend. She has no idea what heartbreak lies ahead."

Ste frowned.

Guy looked at his watch. "Shit. I've got to go."

He hurriedly stood up.

"Already?"

Guy gave him a sheepish grin as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah."

"Finish your pint." Ste said and patted the seat that Guy had been on. "Please."

"Can't. Hubby is waiting for me."

"Huh?"

"Didn't I tell you?" Guy emitted an embarrassed laugh. "I'm married or civil partnered or whatever you want to call it. I'm hitched."

_Oh_.

Ste had not seen that coming. "Oh."

"Yeah." Guy said carefully. "You know the flatmate I was telling you about? Not actually a flatmate. More like a life partner. Sorry. I should have said sooner but I was hoping I wouldn't need to and you would notice this." He wafted his left hand in Ste's face showing the platinum bling on it. "I've gotten tired of constantly having to explain myself and getting people's reactions."

"What reactions?"

"The 'fuck me; you're too young and too gay to be married' or whatever." Guy shrugged then grinned. "He wanted to put a ring on it so I let him… four years ago."

"God, I feel so embarrassed." Ste buried his head in his hands for a moment.

"Because you were trying to come on to me?"

"Oh God! You noticed."

"I enjoyed it!"

Ste looked up at his friend. Guy was grinning broadly.

"That was me trying to get back to dating." Ste admitted.

"Why? How long has it been?"

_Four weeks since I broke the contract with Brendan._

"Over a year." He said.

"Fucking hell, Ste. We need to do something about that otherwise you're going to start gathering dust."

{~}

Brendan walked into his apartment to see Cheryl cooking at the kitchen island.

"Hiya, love."

He ignored her and threw his briefcase and car and house keys on the couch. He flung his jacket and tie to one side and toed his shoes off.

Then he slammed the door shut behind him.

His sister looked evenly at him. "What's with the rage?"

He made his way to the spiral stairs without replying. He needed to get out of his work clothes. He needed to shed his corporate skin.

"So I take it Caden said no to tonight." She said lightly as she continued to stir whatever she was cooking in the wok.

Brendan threw her a death glare. "I didn't ask him."

"Why not?"

"He had other plans."

Knowing Caden slept with other men for money had disturbed Brendan. However, realising that, as Steven, the lad was dating without monetary incentive pierced his soul.

The lad was going out for drinks with that overweight colleague of his because he wanted to while he had only ever slept with Brendan for the money.

"Next time then." Cheryl said.

"There won't be a next time, Chez."

"Why not?"

"Because what you saw between us was nothing okay!" He felt his anger rise. "So stop fucking building castles in the sky and get that through your thick skull!"

His voice rose unnecessarily at the end there.

"HEY!" She shouted back. "Don't take your shit out on me! I was trying to be nice because from the outside it looked like you two had something sweet going on. So don't get angry with me because you fucked things up him, because that is what happened, isn't it?"

Fuck this shit.

Brendan marched up the stairs.

"Where are you going?" She asked.

He wasn't prepared to argue with his sister about a man that had no business occupying his thoughts. It was ludicrous.

He got to his room and took a quick shower before getting changed. He had made a decision. He was going out.

When he came back down the stairs Cheryl was sitting on the floor in front of the telly with her Mexican meal in a plate on her lap. She mumbled without looking at him,

"Your plate is on the kitchen counter." Then she glanced at him as he picked up his keys. "Where are you going?"

"Out. Don't wait up."

"Typical." She rolled her eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that this is what you do when you are scared of losing things you care about and you don't feel in control. You run away. You escape. With sex, booze, night's out, ignoring your family, whatever."

"I am going out because I want to go out. That's it. I'm not running away from anything."

"Yes you are. Your emotions." She folded her arms and looked at him as if she was his boss.

Only she dared to speak to him like that. Frankly and with no apology.

"You were like this when ma got cancer and you were like this when Vinnie died. And you are acting up again now."

That stops Brendan in his tracks.

"I don't care about Steven."

"Who's Steven?"

Cheryl looked confused.

Brendan smirked as he opened the door to the apartment. Her question was one that he had asked himself before.

Who was Steven?

{~}

Ste successfully managed to completely avoid Brendan for nearly three weeks. He figured that as long as he knuckled down and worked hard Melanie would have no reason to get him hauled up in front of the man. So that is what he did.

Knuckle down.

It distracted him from knowing that Caden was in Liverpool, remanded into custody and awaiting trial for the joint charges of robbery and sending malicious communications.

Ste hadn't received a single threatening letter since his ex's incarceration. It was hard not to assume that Caden was therefore the perpetrator. It was making him more willing to come forward as a witness to make sure his ex-boyfriend remained behind bars where he belonged.

If he somehow made it out of jail Ste knew that he could never feel safe again. He would live in constant fear that Caden would come after him to exact his revenge.

It also distracted him from his dying friendship with Doug.

Sharing an office with Guy a floor below Brendan's and working closely with him meant that their friendship had gone from strength to strength. His IT buddy was replacing the void left by Doug.

On paper and in many ways he was a better fit for Ste as far as friendship went. Guy was into the same stuff Ste was. He wasn't all artsy the way Doug was. And the IT buff was less under the thumb in his marriage than Doug was to Benji which meant he actually set aside time to hang out with Ste. Not that Ste didn't miss his American best friend. He missed Doug loads but he respected the fact that times changed things and that their tight friendship had suffered the effects of the Yoko factor.

Another person that distracted Ste from fearing about Caden and missing Doug was Paul.

Brendan's PA would stroll into their office for a few minutes on most days with cups of coffee from the _Coffee Hut_ for a quick hello, enquiries into how things were going and words of encouragement. Ste was sure that Paul thought he was some emotionally weak nutcase that needed constant positive feedback.

Ste thought the visits were considerate, polite and vaguely embarrassing.

Guy's theory for why Paul hung out with them so frequently was very different.

"Right I better get back to my desk before the boss realises I'm gone." Paul said as he downed the last of his cup of coffee and proceeded to toss the disposable cup intothe recyclable bin. "Brendan should be nearly done with his meeting. Wish me luck. He's always a bit mardy after seeing Walker."

"Walker is here?" Ste said, trying to sound cool.

"Yeah. His scouting out a couple of properties in Chester so he's dropped in for a visit." Paul smirked. "Anyway, I'll see you around, guys."

"Bye." Ste and Guy said in unison.

"He wants to bone you." Guy said bluntly the second the PA left the room and was out of earshot.

Ste's colleague proceeded to demonstrate with lewd pelvic thrusts complete with sex faces.

"Stop that." Ste said as he took to his seat.

"Next time, I am leaving you two to it. I'll make some excuse. I'll say I need to get something from the stationary cupboard or something." Guy said rapidly. "Allow the magic to happen between you."

"Come off it." Ste typed furiously at his computer trying to get on with work.

Guy lounged across his desk blocking Ste's view of his monitor. "Maybe you should date _him_. You're still looking, right? Dude's fine. P. H. And smart and had a ridiculous body and a bad boy edge. He works on so many levels."

"He's straight." Ste said for what felt like the hundredth time. "And he has a girlfriend. He fails at the most basic level."

"He wants your body." Guy retorted before sitting up straight to face his friend square on but still on Ste's desk. "You know what, next time he comes here I am going to ask him point blank. 'Dude, do you fancy my friend or not?'"

"Please don't." Ste said. "Come on. We should be working."

"We should be sorting out your non-existent love life."

"I'mno a charity case, Guy."

"But aren't you?" Guy teased.

"Is this a bad time?"

Ste and Guy practically jumped out of their skins. Walker was standing in the open door to their office.

"Um." Guy looked disconcerted as he hopped off Ste's desk and walked up to tall man. "No."

Ste was on edge. Why the fuck was Walker here?

He decided to stay quiet and stay put. Hopefully this was about work because if it wasn't then it was about what their meeting to the steakhouse in Liverpool and Ste hadn't come up with a decent lie to explain that off. Ste wondered exactly what Brendan had told his business associate about it.

'_What about Walker? He saw us in Liverpool.'_

'_He saw us have a meal. That's all.'_

"Simon." Walker shook Guy's hand.

"Guy." Guy pumped Walker's hand enthusiastically.

"I remember." Walker gave Ste's friend a charming smile. "Guy Evans, right? The man who was happy to 'work his butt off for his new boss.' I'm sure Brendan will be delighted if you do."

Guy actually blushed. Ste had never seen his friend look so coy. He felt that he ought to remind Guy that he was a happily married man.

Guy pointed at Ste. "This is my friend and colleague. Ste."

Walker's smile grew even wider. "Actually, you don't need to make introductions. Ste and I have met before."

Guy looked confused.

"In another life." Walker continued to grin. There was something about how he said that that made Ste feel uneasy. It felt like a taunt. "Isn't that right… … … Ste?"

Ste nodded and forced a smile to appear on his face.

"Yes." He whispered.

"Where was that then?" Guy said mystified. "Why didn't you say, Ste?"

"It was a fleeting encounter." Walker said as he approached Ste. "But I haven't forgotten it." His eyes connected with Ste's and softened.

"Could you give me a moment alone with your friend, Guy?"

Guy looked between Ste and Simon.

If Walker wanted to talk to Ste about the fact that he knew that Ste had had sex with Brendan and, God forbid, that he had been paid, Ste did not want his friend around.

He gave his friend a permissive nod.

"Okay." Guy said. He stepped out of the room hesitantly, sensing that something was not right.

Walker sat backwards on Guy's office chair and wheeled it closer to Ste's. He folded his arms over the backrest and placed his chin on them. Then he smiled at Ste.

"Hi."

Ste narrowed his eyes at the man. "What do you want?"

"That's not the way to speak to someone, is it?"

"It's because I know why you are here." Ste dragged his chair a little further away from Walker.

Walker frowned and cocked his head to one side. "And why do you think that is?"

"Liverpool."

Walker raised an intrigued eyebrow. "What about it?"

"The fact that you saw me there with Brendan, I mean, Mr Brady."

Walker smiled. "You can drop the act. Brendan told me that you guys did the nasty."

"He told you?"

"Yes. It was hard to get him to admit it though which is understandable, I guess."

Ste swallowed hard.

"I mean it is not the kind of thing you want to get out." Walker said. He sat up straighter in his chair and run his hands through his hair while looking unwaveringly at Ste.

Ste watched as it flopped like a curtain back into his face.

Ste squared up to the taller man. So Walker knew about the escorting? Inside Ste felt himself retracting with shame but outwardly he sat tall. He kept Walker's gaze.

The escorting was in his past. It did not affect how he performed at his current job. If Brendan hadn't found it necessary to fire him over it then he wasn't going to let someone like Walker make him feel small and valueless.

"So you know." He said.

"Yes." Walker replied.

Ste cleared his throat. "What I did, what happened, doesn't affect my ability to do my job. I am really good at what I do. I got in on my own merit. I deserve to be here."

"Fuck. You're hot."

"Huh?" Ste was stunned by Walker's whispered words.

"I said-"

"I know what you said." Ste leaned away some more. "Why did you say it?"

"Because it's true. You on your soap box." Walker played with his bottom lip with index finger and thumb as if contemplating. "I can see why Brendan likes you. Or liked you."

"Me and him. We aren't-"

"I know. Brendan told me that what you had is over."

"And I don't expect any special treatment from him. I don't get any."

"I said I get it. I can see that the two of you are on the same page. Brendan doesn't want people to know that he has employed someone he was shagging either. Accusations of nepotism would start to fly."

Was that why Walker thought Brendan wanted to keep things quiet; to avoid claims of favouritism? Not because Ste was a former escort?

Ste realised that Walker didn't know about that sordid secret.

He relaxed with relief. So if Walker hadn't come to see him to threaten him about being an escort then why was he here in his office?

"Walker, I-"

"Simon. My name is Simon."

"Simon. I need to get back to work so."

"Yeah. Sure." Walker stood up and pushed Guy's chair away in one smooth. There was something very sure and powerful about his movements.

It caught Ste's attention.

"Before I go. I wasn't lying to your friend that I haven't forgotten our first meeting in Liverpool."

_Seriously_?

"I don't normally do this. I'm not that guy but there's something about you, Ste." Walker reached his hand out to run a thumb across Ste's cheek.

Then his calloused fingertips grazed lightly over Ste's lips. Ste thought they felt rough yet gentle.

A paradox. Much like the man himself. Guy had thought that Paul had a bad boy vibe about him. Walker came across like the real deal. Hard edges with a small nugget of a soft centre.

Bad boys were what Ste knew. His only real relationship had been with one and an argument could be made that all his clients were bad boys by definition.

'_Walker. You want to keep a distance from him. He's bad news.'_ Brendan had said.

"So I was wondering what you were doing tonight?" Walker asked.

The kids would be in bed by 7.30. Amy would be hanging out with Lee. Technically the answer was, _Nothing much_.

"I'm not sure." Ste said.

"Brendan has warned you off me, hasn't he?"

"No." Ste said too quickly, making his lie apparent.

"'Thou shalt not covet your neighbour's wife'. That's what's got to him. I told him that I wanted to ask you out. I gave him the heads up because I knew that you guys had a thing."

"What did he say?"

"He said 'go for it' because he was done with you."

"Oh." Ste felt a sting in his core.

Brendan was happy to pass him on to Walker like a baton. A cheap hand-me-down.

"I think, secretly, he is annoyed that I am interested in you. Brendan sees people as possessions."

Ste could totally relate to Walker's words.

"Has he told you about Vinnie?"

Ste shook his head. It was the first time hearing the name.

Walker nodded as if that said it all. It made Ste exponentially curious about who this Vinnie was to Brendan.

"Let's just say that he is probably internally seething that you and I might get along and become an item. It's a bit like when you're a kid and you ignore an old toy in favour of a new one but when your parent's tell you they are about to bin the old one. And suddenly you want to cling onto it for dear life."

So Brendan considered him an old unwanted toy.

"Anyway. Forget Brendan. Let's talk about us." Walker said and smiles gently at Ste. "I'm staying in town tonight at the _Grosvenor._ I was wondering whether you would keep me company and join me for dinner."

Ste didn't know what to think.

He was trying to break free of going for the bad boys. That is why he had tried, unsuccessfully, to get with Guy. He was trying to move on from Brendan but was this the way to do it?

Walker smiled at Ste. "I won't lie. The amount of time it is taking you to answer is doing nothing for my ego."

That made Ste smile. "I don't know what to say. You've surprised me."

"It's just dinner. I'll prove to you that I'm not the twat Brendan has painted me out to be."

There was no harm in that, was there? Ste thought.

A meal.

That's it.

And it would show that he didn't care for Brendan anymore.

"Yeah. Okay. Dinner sounds good."

{~}

Brendan was getting a progress report from Melanie about the Kilner Project when his phone rang. He apologised to the project manager before taking the call.

"Brendan!"

"Walker." He replied. "If you are already reporting back on the two properties you said you were going to see then I am very impressed. I only said bye to you half an hour ago."

"I'm still in the building." Walker's voice was jubilant; as if he had just won the lottery. "Guess who I have just been speaking to?"

Fuck.

"Steven."

Brendan felt a sucker punch to the pit of his stomach. A tick went off in his cheek. A sign of suppressed emotion but he kept his tone disinterested and unfazed.

"I'm busy, Walker. I'm in a meeting. If this phone call has a point please reach it soon."

"I invited him to dinner tonight. He said yes."

Double sucker punch.

"Those lips of his. Fuck me they're soft."

This assault was unrelenting.

Steven let Walker kiss him already?

Really? In his office? Within half an hour of a conversation? Maybe Steven really was that kind of guy.

Easy. Slutty.

He and Walker would get a long like birds of a feather.

It shouldn't be a surprise given what he and Brendan had gotten up to on their very first encounter. They had done a hell of a lot more than kiss.

"I don't know why you let him go but I wanted to say thank you", Walker's voice was candy sweet, "From the bottom of my heart because it means that now I get my turn with him. Anyway I should go. My social calender just got busy. I'll leave you to get on with your important meeting. I'll be sure to tell Ste you said 'hi' when we meet up."


	19. Amy

_**Dear Folks, **_

_**First of all I would like to say a sincere and heartfelt thank you for reading my little tale and for commenting and reviewing. It honestly makes writing fiction in this format a dynamic process, something that can't happen in regular writing and publishing. **_

_**What you guys say and how you react to something I have written informs how I proceed with the story. The feedback makes me know when I am hitting the right literary spot (giggity!) and also where something or some character isn't working so well. **_

_**Hope you enjoy this chapter. And when I say enjoy... I mean appreciate because this ain't no stroll in the park (!)**_

_**Hugs,**_

_**Chips xx**_

**{~}**

"I invited Ste to dinner tonight. He said yes." Walker said over the phone to Brendan. "Those lips of his. Fuck me they're soft."

That was a sucker punch to Brendan's gut.

Steven let Walker kiss him already? Really? In his office? Within half an hour of a conversation? Maybe he really was that kind of guy.

Easy.

Slutty.

What did he expect out of a whore?

And yet it still twisted his insides. Knowing that he had no right over the lad anymore. Not in that way.

"I don't know why you let him go but I wanted to say thank you." Walker's voice was candy sweet. "From the bottom of my heart because it means that now I get my turn with him. Anyway I should go. My social calendar just got busy. I'll leave you to get on with your important meeting. I'll be sure to tell Ste you said 'hi' when we meet up."

Brendan's phone emitted a dead tone signalling the end of the conversation. His hand was trembling as he looked down at its screensaver. That Walker. That fucker. He had called Brendan purely to rile him up. The question was why?

Sure they weren't bosom buddies but they weren't exactly archenemies either. Why was the Brummie making a point of playing out his interactions with Steven in front of Brendan? Did he know the truth about the 'services' Steven had provided for Brendan and was he hoping to use that information for personal gain?

"So what did Walker have to say?" Melanie asked.

Brendan looked at her blankly. "What?"

She pointed at his phone which he was gripping with a white knuckle fist. "Your phone conversation just now."

"Oh." He put his phone down. "That. It was nothing. Let's get back to what you were saying."

_My lad. Your IT guy. Caden. Steven. Whoever he is. Him. The nuisance in my head. The sweet indigestion that refuses to go. Walker is taking him out for dinner. That is what's happening._

_Tonight._

_Walker is taking Steven on a date and there is nothing I can do to stop it._

Melanie leafed through the papers in her lap, oblivious to Brendan's internal monologue and said,

"Okay. As you know construction is well underway. So far we are on schedule. It's coming on nicely."

"It looks like a bomb hit it. I had a look a few days ago."

Melanie smiled. "Patience, Brendan. It will start looking the part soon enough."

"What about progress away from construction?"

"I am confident you will like this." She said excitedly. "As you know the office team and I had several brain-storming sessions about how to market the product."

Brendan had heard the ideas; glimmers of genius interspersed in a sea of dodgy concepts.

"We thought about strategy." Melanie continued. "We used the market research that Phil and his team did as our basis and built on it. We thought hard about who our target consumer."

"And..."

Melanie stood up and started pacing while facing Brendan; presentation mode.

"And we decided that he or she is a young working adult. Male or female. Earning no more than a middle of the road pay check. They have bills and rent to think of but they still have fun. They are just careful with their money. They spend on nights out and on looking good. They splurge on loved ones…"

Brendan gave Melanie a wry smile. "Are we getting to a point?"

"In many ways the members of the team working on the project _are_ your target consumers. They are different and yet they have similar needs."

"How are they different?"

"Some are single, some in relationships, married, straight… gay… with kids… or without."

She wriggled her eyebrows as if letting him into a secret.

"Is this the part where I am supposed to bait and beg you to tell me the gossip on the newbies?" Brendan asked, deadpan.

He knew Steven was gay and he had a sneaking suspicion that his 'friend', Guy, was too. He really didn't give two shits about the relationship status of the rest of the newbies or whether they had children or not.

Melanie grinned. "I guess that kind of thing doesn't excite you, does it?"

Brendan faked an excited voice. "Are you kidding? I love it! I was at the water cooler and I found out that John in accounting has been sleeping with Mary from human resources. And right under Jane's nose! Can you believe it?"

Melanie rolled her eyes. "Okay, there is no need to mock."

Brendan said seriously. "Can we get back to business then?"

"Yes. Right. Young working people. Target customer. Similar but different. Conscious about the purse. The question is, how do you make them buy into our product?"

She winked, smoothed down her pencil skirt then walked to a display easel that she had set up earlier. She flipped over the first cardboard proof with flare and smiled.

Brendan stayed silent as she showed him three other proofs.

"Well what do you think?"

Brendan was smiling.

It was a rare enough expression to make Melanie not able to interpret it.

"Brendan?"

He raised a surprised eyebrow. "I like it."

Melanie clenched a fist. "Yes! I knew it. You have no idea how good this team is. They have worked bloody hard. I tell them to jump and they ask how high. I know it's still a bit sketchy but you're getting the idea, right? I think it's pure genius."

Brendan approached the cardboard layouts to inspect them closely. "The branding is strong."

Melanie nodded.

"We have ideas on an advertising campaign based on these sketches and we have designed a website too. Obviously it's not live pending your approval. I can't take all the credit here though. The IT guys have really driven this. They worked closely with the marketing strategists, researchers and architects and turned our concepts into this."

Brendan looked at Melanie. "The IT guys?"

"Yes." She said.

_Steven_.

Had the lad helped conceive and construct this piece of work? Was his heart and soul pulsing through these boards and the messages they held?

Brendan ran his fingers over the lines and shapes on the board before him. As he did his mind recalled doing the same over Steven's warm flushed skin right after the young man had made a mess of the white couch, right before he went looking for cleaning stuff.

"Steven." He said.

"And Guy." Melanie was bewildered. "You know their names?"

"It's my company, Melanie. I know stuff about it."

Actually they were the only newbie names that he knew.

He continued to study the array of perfectly composed boards. This was how the young man's brain worked. He was smart. No questions asked. Steven was very good at what he did. He was better than good. He was brilliant. He was better than those arseholes that Brendan was spending a small fortune on to rebrand _Clover Corp_.

Why the fuck would someone of Steven's talent escort then? It did not make sense. Brendan felt like the more he discovered about the lad the less he understood about him.

Still, he remained intrigued. From the time he clocked the lad's escorting website, to their first conversation (_'Hello. Caden here. How can I help you?'_) and their last ('_Cheryl, my sister… she is making fajitas'_) he was unbelievably drawn to Steven.

That is why he had tried to invite him home for dinner.

The intrigue.

_Ye are an eejit._ _Ye sham_.

There was no way whatsoever that the invitation had been a good idea. Especially not when it looked like Steven was dating Walker and/or Guy. Not with Brendan being his boss.

There was an ever increasing irreversible void developing between him and Steven.

What Brendan had to do was accept it, act professional and work the lad's strengths.

His IT strengths. Not his sexual strengths.

_Don't think about them. Take a breath._

_Easy tiger_.

Brendan took his hands off the board.

"Was there anything else you wanted to show me?" He asked.

He needed these proofs out of sight and mind.

"No. Not for now." Melanie said hesitantly. "Why?"

"I just remembered I have some papers to sign."

"Oh. Well. I won't keep you then."

She picked up the boards.

"Good job, Melanie. Really."

She looked visibly relieved. "Thank you."

She nearly fell over in her sky high heels and form fitting suit as she attempted to balance the proofs in her arms.

He quickly took them out of her hands. "Let me."

"Thanks."

"Paul!" He shouted.

"Yep." Paul appeared at the door in an instant.

"Could you help Melanie with her things?"

Before getting a reply Brendan dumped the cardboard proofs into his PA's hands.

"No problem." Paul said. "By the way, Mel, I've finalised reservations for the weekend retreat. I'll be sending confirmatory e-mails out today. I guessed that you wouldn't be interested, boss."

"Hardly a guess." Brendan said. He had failed to attend all but the first ever annual event.

The retreat was designed to be an opportunity for senior and executive management within the company to get together outside of work to re-focus, re-energise and bond. Most went giddy over the idea. Unsurprisingly, Brendan didn't.

"It's going to be great fun! When is it again?" Melanie asked Paul.

"Four weekend's time. Is your husband coming? I need to let the hotel know about plus ones."

"He wouldn't miss it for the world. You've got to come, Brendan. We miss you every year." Melanie said. "And you would have loved last year. It was entitled _Cabin Fever_. First, we had to hand our mobile phones in-"

"I'll stop you there." Brendan said. "That sounds like a nightmare."

{~}

That evening, Ste tried to make a quick exit out of the house without being noticed but his phone beeped just as he reached the front door.

Amy heard it from the living room and called out to him.

"Oi! Don't think about slipping out without saying bye first." She said.

Ste begrudgingly walked into the room.

"Who's texted you?"

Ste looked down at his phone and smiled. "Guy. Wishing me luck. He reckons I've got 'stronger pheromones than Austin Powers'. Quote."

"Ha! He's right. Turn around a second. I want to see what you're wearing on your date with this Simon person."

"Where's Lee?" He asked as he did a slow turn for her benefit.

Amy was curled up on the sofa, already wrapped up in her red yukata with the television on some reality programme and her hand loosely holding the remote.

"Bathroom." She replied. "He has been there a while. I hope he cracks open the window after."

"So gross." Ste said.

She smiled. "Are the monsters asleep?"

"Yes."

"How do you do it? It only took you ten minutes."

He shrugged. "Skills. They listen to me."

"They listen to me too! Sometimes." She scrutinised him like a fashion critic. "Ey. You're looking good. Simon won't be able to keep his hands off you."

Ste blanched. "Uh. No. It's too much, int'it?"

"You're dressed smart and you're going to the _Grosvenor_. You can't turn up in flip flops!"

He nodded as he smoothed his V-neck jumper over his shirt. "I know. I just don't want him getting the wrong idea."

"What idea is that?"

"Well I'm meeting him at the hotel he is staying at, ain't I? Maybe he'll think that I'm up for going to his room after for, you know."

Amy shook her head.

"Stuff." Ste whispered as if it were a dirty word.

"Oh! Stuff!" She repeated as it sunk in. "So what? He can wish and think what he wants. You do what you feel comfortable with, Ste. If you don't want to sleep with him then don't. It's not like before. This is on your terms. Like a normal date."

Ste chewed his lip nervously. "Yeah. You're right. Of course."

A normal date.

What was one of those then?

Ste had never really been on one although he had been on plenty of 'abnormal dates'.

He had been on them with lots of girls in school to pretend he was not gay when he was younger. Cinema. Bowling. The park. McDonalds. The corner shop round the way from school. His house when his parents were out.

He had been on one real date with his ex-boyfriend right at the very beginning during the 'honeymoon' months. Caden surprised him with dinner at a family run restaurant ('my treat, Ste. Cos I love ya') only for them to have to hotfoot it out of the place when the bill came and Caden admitted that he had no money.

Then there were the escorting dates where what happened was entirely dictated by the client. Bar one exception.

One notable exception.

"What do I do on a normal date?" He asked nervously.

Amy stood up and walked to him.

"Talk. Get to know each other. See if there is that spark. Just be you. Sweet, adorable and funny you. Simon will love it." Amy said as they linked hands. "And if he doesn't then he's a piece of shit and you're better rid."

She gave him a huge smile.

"Okay."

"Relax. Have a great time. You deserve it." She said. "And enjoy yourself."

"I will."

"Can you let your face know that, babes, because it looks terrified." She grinned. "Come here."

He felt the full force of her squeeze when her arms went around him. She mumbled into his neck. "Um. You smell nice."

"It's the cologne you gave me last Christmas." He said.

"I have great taste." She inhaled then whispered. "I am so proud of you, you know that. New job and now maybe a new man. You are acing at life."

It didn't feel like it. Not entirely. He was getting palpitations over Caden and the trial. He was upset over the fact that Doug wasn't speaking to him. And then there was working at _Clover Corp_.

His job was going really well. He loved it and he got on well with Guy but he still felt miserable at his place of work because of Brendan. While Ste had wished that the Irishman treated him professionally it was not what he actually desired. Just like any other CEO who wouldn't have any reason to speak with a lowly employee of the company, Brendan hadn't communicated with Ste since their chance meeting in the car park a few weeks ago.

He understood that it was necessary and inevitable, that it couldn't be any other way, but it still hurt.

He extricated himself out of his friend's arms.

"I should go or I'm going to be late for him. Simon, I mean." Step back, Brendan. Step forward, Walker. "Love you."

"Love you more." Amy smiled softly. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

{~}

Ste walked into the hotel and through to the restaurant with his head hanging low. Even so he received a nod of recognition from one of the receptionists and the maître d'.

He ignored them and entered Simon Radley's restaurant.

Walker was already there. He stood up the minute he spotted Ste and waited for him to get to the table.

He was wearing a dark grey top covered by a simple black waist coat over dark trousers and scuffed up shoes. Ste imagined that this was as dressed up as he got while keeping true to his style. Ste wasn't complaining though. There was something roguish about his date.

He looked nice in an untamed sort of way.

"Hi." Walker said. His smile was contagious.

"Hi."

Walker half leaned across the table. His hand touched Ste's waist and he kissed his cheek arousing a wave of self-consciousness in the Mancunian.

His lips were slow to leave Ste's skin. His gaze was too lingering and his inhalation of breath, just over Ste's shoulder, too deep. He was getting a good whiff of Ste.

_I shouldn't have put it on, should I? It's too much. Brendan thought I smelt nice even if it was just my aftershave and shower gel. This is over the top._

_Bollocks._

He cleared his throat.

_Don't think about Brendan. You're with Walker now_.

"Sorry I'm late." He said.

"Barely five minutes over. Sit."

"Thanks."

Ste settled into his chair but he was feeling far from comfortable.

"So, uh, you look good." Walker said.

Ste nodded. "So do you."

"Cheers. Have you eaten here before?"

"Yeah. A few times."

"Brendan must pay you well."

Ste immediately clammed up and Walker sensed it.

What was that supposed to mean?

"Sorry. I don't know why I brought up his name." Walker said. "I don't want to make things awkward."

"It's fine."

The reference to Brendan and money had got Ste's heart beating quickly, though.

"I have a confession to make, Ste."

Ste looked at him apprehensively. "What's that then?"

"I wasn't lying earlier when I said that I don't normally do this kind of thing."

"What kind of thing?"

"Going on dates. It's not something that I have done much before. And by that I mean never. I have never been on a date before."

Walker smiled in embarrassment.

Ste frowned. "Like ever? I don't believe it."

"It's true."

"What about the guy you were with in Liverpool?"

"That was different. That was a meal out with an acquaintance." Walker leaned forward and laid his hands on the table, palms flat on the surface. He jerked his head back to get hair out of his face then looked at Ste intently. "I didn't give a fuck about him..."

He let the conclusion of the sentence linger in the air unspoken.

_... Like I give a fuck about you._

There it was.

A move. A come on. Ste was good at picking up on them.

He leaned back in his seat. He wasn't ready for flirtation yet. "You looked close."

By that he meant that he remembered how brazen Walker had been; squeezing his companion's arse through his jeans as he led him to their table.

"We fulfilled each other's carnal needs. I'm not going to romanticise what it was. A fuck for the sake of a fuck."

Ste's mouth dropped open.

"Tonight is about something else though." Walker took a breath out. "I was really nervous about it."

Ste looked sceptical. Walker looked too confident to be nervous about anything. "Really?"

"Yeah. Look." Walker lifted his hands off the table and Ste clocked the tremor in them. "It's ridiculous."

Ste thawed. "No it's not. I were nervous too."

Walker smiled at that.

Their waiter approached and looked at Ste in recognition. Ste kept his head down.

_Shit. Don't say anything to suggest that you recognise me. Please_.

"Evening gentlemen. I'll be your waiter for the evening. My name is Gilles."

Walker raised an amused eyebrow at Ste. "Fancy."

"Yeah." Ste said hesitantly.

"Would you like to order a drink, sirs?"

Walker looked at Ste. "What are you having?"

They ordered their drinks then got back to talking once the waiter left.

"Is this going to be strange for you? Dating me after being with Brendan?" Walker asked.

Walker thought that the reason why he was acting uncomfortable was because of Brendan. He didn't know that the actual reason was Ste's fear of his former career being revealed during dinner.

Ste straightened up and tried to act normal.

Fuck it. If Walker found out then he found out but Ste couldn't live his life in fear and concern forever.

"Who says I'll go on an another date with you after tonight?" He gave Walker a cheeky smile.

"Oh, you will. I'm pretty irresistible."

Ste smiled at that. Walker had a cocky side that Ste found interesting.

"So?" The Brummie asked. "Is the Brendan thing going to be awkward for you?"

"I think we should concentrate on getting to know each other and not worry about him." Ste said. "He is my boss. He is your business associate. He is not part of this evening."

"I couldn't agree more."

{~}

Despite his initial reservations Ste was having a blast. Walker was hilarious, charismatic, left field, enigmatic and unlike his attire he was full of colour.

They managed to steer clear of talking about Brendan. It was surprisingly easy as they worked themselves through a dinner of starters, mains and coffee.

"You were an only child too?" Ste said.

"Yeah! After giving birth to a son like me, my mother nearly performed her own hysterectomy and sewed her twat shut! Apparently she kept telling my dad 'never again'!"

"You are crude, you!" Ste said but he was flushed and smiling.

"Sorry!" Walker said unapologetically.

He was drinking lager.

Ste was nursing a single glass of wine and drinking plenty of water. It was a weeknight and he was driving so he was being responsible.

"I gave my parents a run for their money too." Ste said.

"You look like a choir boy."

"I'm not, but I were much worse when I were growing up, me. Trust me."

"Bet you I could beat you for the title of worst son on the planet." Walker challenged. "Hit me with your worst."

"Okay." Ste leaned forward. "How about disappearing for a few days so that they had to send out a search party because I thought they wouldn't miss me anyway?"

"I've done that." Walker said. "But add taking my mother's car and ending up in Scotland. I stopped only because the fuel ran out!"

"Okay. You get that round. Walker. One. Ste. Nil."

"Bring on round two." Walker smiled.

"I may have stolen some stuff… like from shops. I'm not proud of it now, right. I did it because…" _I thought that way my boyfriend would love me more. I wanted him to be proud of me._ "… I had bad influences."

"Isn't that what we all say? It wasn't my fault your honour." Walker drawled and gave him a sly look. "That's Kindergarten stuff, Ste. Let's just say that when I was starting up in business I would do pretty much anything to get cash. I mixed with some pretty shady types. I did some pretty shady things. Spent a couple of nights in the nick."

Ste blushed.

_Oh you think that's shady. You don't know to what lengths I went to get cash. _

_I can't tell you about being a rent boy. I was one for your work associate. _

_Beat that._

"I got a girl pregnant when I were fifteen." He offered.

Walker sat back and raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Ste looked at him sheepishly. "Yeah."

Walker pointed in the general direction of his dinner companion. "With your little gay swimmers?"

Ste nodded.

"Fuck me." Walker laughed. "Okay."

Ste smiled. "You can't beat that, can you?"

Walker shook his head. "You dipped your wick into one of those female traps and impregnated a girl and then turned gay? Your parents must be all over the place!"

"Dunno. We don't talk no more."

"So, does that mean you have a kid?"

Ste looked down at the table then gave him a shy smile. "Two."

"What! You are full of surprises." Walker said in amazement. "But I'm sorry, Ste, nice try and everything but I still retain the title of worst son ever."

"Why?"

"Because I have never told them about me liking men." He shrugged. "I talk the talk like I don't care what they think but they are my fucking parents. I couldn't handle their reaction. See. I'm a fake. I'm not tough."

Ste was surprised at Walker's honesty. He disagreed with him though.

"I think you are tough. You are truthful with yourself. That takes strength. The next step is being truthful with others."

Walker smiled. "Is this what happens on dates? Are they therapy sessions too?"

"Don't know!"

"Well I'm enjoying myself." Walker said.

"Same." Ste smiled.

{~}

They had to draw a line under the night at some point. Ste went to take a leak while Walker asked for the bill.

He walked back to the table with heavy, unsteady feet that he put down to having a long day.

Luckily the check was already on the table. He would be home and in bed in no time.

"Right, I guess this is it." He said then took a healthy glug of his glass of water.

He looked at the bill.

Walker said. "Are you sure you don't want dessert or something?"

Ste smiled. "No thanks."

"I'm trying to figure out a way to not have to say bye to you yet."

_Flatterer_.

"I have work in the morning and then I have my judo class." Ste said. "I need to get some sleep. But I had a great time."

He was feeling thirsty and a little lightheaded so he drank some more.

"Judo?"

"Yeah." Ste had only told Guy about them. He had signed up to them the day after he received the call from the police about Caden being apprehended... just in case he needed to unleash a can of whoop ass on his ex.

"I used to do it regularly when I were a kid at an after school club but I've started it up again. For the exercise."

"No shit." Walker's grin was broad. "I'm a third degree black belt. So maybe we could throw each other about on our next date. What do you think?"

Why was Walker sounding funny; as if his voice had gone through a synthesiser? Ste took another sip of water. Some of it missed his mouth and spilt down his chin and onto his jumper and shirt.

He giggled.

Walker frowned.

"Yep. Yeah. Sounds good." Ste said as he reached for his wallet and took out his cash card. Why was it so hard to do? Like his hand wasn't listening to his brain.

"Let's pay. We have to go Dutch. Split the bill… Like a normal date."

"Put that away." Walker said and covered his hand over Ste's. "I asked you out. It's my shout."

"No."

Ste's hand felt a little sluggish as he pulled it away from Walker's and placed his card onto the silver bill tray.

Walker was looking at him oddly. Ste thought it felt like he was looking at Walker through a foggy mirror.

"Are you okay, Ste?" Walker looked really worried.

Ste touched his own face. It didn't feel like his though. Every movement felt laboured; like wading through treacle.

"I don't know." He whispered. "I feel odd."

Walker looked around them.

Ste felt removed from the situation as Walker paid for the bill and then helped him get up on to his feet.

Ste smiled at him thankfully because his legs were being useless. They couldn't hold him up on their own. That was funny so he laughed. He held onto Walker for dear life as his date dragged out of the restaurant.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled. "I don't know what's happening."

"I do." Walker said seriously. "Come on. Keep walking."

He kept looking around them shiftily so Ste laughed again.

How hilarious.

He was at one of his former call out joints, on a date with a man who his ex-client didn't like much but worked with. And now after a nice date he was feeling weird and boneless, yet relaxed.

At least Walker was being really nice; supporting him like this since his bones and muscles had decided to stop working properly.

That was sweet of Walker and Ste thought he was hot and felt all muscly next to him.

"I need to get to my car." He muttered as they walked through the hotel lobby. "But my legs aren't moving right."

"You can't drive, Ste." Walker whispered to him. "Look, I think you've been spiked."

"What? Don't be silly." Ste slurred.

Walker gripped his face and forced Ste to look into his eyes. "Your pupils are like saucers."

"You're fucking sexy." Ste muttered.

"Let's get you up to my room."

"No." Ste tried to push away but he had no energy. "I'm not sleeping with you."

"I'm not sleeping with you either in your state. Believe me, this is not how I get people into bed. I'm not a rapist." Walker mumbled as he shoved them into a lift and pressed the button to his floor. "But you are in no fit state to go anywhere on your own."

Ste laughed at that because Walker was right. How could he go anywhere if he had no bones in his body and his muscles were like jam?

"Do you like jam, Walker, I mean, Simon."

"No I don't."

{~}

It was just shy of midnight and Brendan had managed to exhaust himself with work in his attic office. The plan had been distraction.

If he thought about work then he figured that he wouldn't think about what was going on just a stone's throw away at the _Chester Grosvenor_. He could ignore that his long time business associate was there on a 'date' with Steven.

Unfortunately, it wasn't working.

He resisted the urge to get shitfaced, fuck someone, or gate crash the meal. Cheryl may have not been there to actually nag at him but he could still feel her disapproval in advance.

He decided that he would continue to work. Only this bit of business involved Walker.

What a shame. He would have to disturb the date with a phone call.

He speed dialled the Brummie's number. It took a while for Walker to answer. When he did he sounded unsurprised.

"I was wondering when you would call either me or him tonight. I'm impressed that you haven't come over to break us up." Walker drawled. "Look, we've had dinner already if you were calling about a progress report. I'm about to bed down so-"

"I'm calling you about business." Brendan hissed.

"At this time? You must think I'm stupid." Brendan could hear Walker's smile.

Brendan gritted his teeth. There was only one question going through his mind.

_Is he with you, you fucker?_

"You never called me about the two properties you went out to see." Brendan said.

"Mate. It's been a busy day. I checked them out. I'll tell you about them tomorrow. I think one of them is a goer. The other not so much."

"Okay."

Brendan was trying to come up with some reason to keep Walker on the phone and find out about Steven. He couldn't call the lad himself. It would be wholly inappropriate.

"I've got to go, Brendan. Bed time."

"Yeah. Sure."

"_Simon?"_

That was Steven's voice in the background. Definitely. Almost whimpering. Softly. Calling Walker's name.

"Yeah, coming." Walker then spoke into the phone with a smile that punched its way across the phone line. "Like I was saying, Brendan, It's my… bed time. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

Brendan ended the call without replying. He took a deep breath in and out and cracked his neck. Then he walked out of his office and down two flights of stairs to the bar area of his apartment.

He sat on a stool and picked up a glass and a bottle of _Jameson_.

{~}

"Simon?"

Ste looked around the hotel room. He could not remember how he got here. One minute he was having a great time, having dinner at _Simon Radley_ and the next he was lying on his date's bed unable to move and feeling like he wasn't himself.

"Yeah, coming."

Ste smiled. At least Walker was here.

"I feel really weird." He slurred.

Walker walked in from his en suite bathroom while tucking his mobile into his trousers' pocket.

"I've got you some water." He said.

He toed off his shoes and climbed onto the bed. He helped Ste sit up and drink.

"Thanks." Ste said. "Why am I feeling weird?"

"Don't worry about it now." Walker said. "Are you feeling hot?"

Ste nodded.

"Here, take your clothes off then." Walker gave him a gentle smile. "I promise I won't look."

Ste smiled back. Was that okay to do? Take his clothes off on a first 'normal date'? It wasn't like they were going to do anything.

Amy's words of advice #1-

_You do what you feel comfortable with, Ste. If you don't want to sleep with him then don't. It's not like before. This is on your terms. Like a normal date._

So it was settled. What Walker said made sense. Ste was feeling hot and taking his clothes off would cool him down a bit.

So this was safe.

"Okay." He took his jumper and shirt off then started on his trousers. He paused.

For a split second this didn't feel right at all.

"I need to call Amy first."

"Who is she?"

"My best friend in the whole wide world now that Doug's done a runner."

"Is she expecting you to call her?"

Ste thought about it. He grinned when Walker helped him to get his trousers off. That was kind. With his own hands in the state they were in at the minute it would have taken him ages.

"No. I don't think so." Ste lay down and closed his eyes. He felt so knackered. "Before coming here she said that I should just be me with you and that you were shit if you didn't like me after that so."

"Is that what she said?" Ste could hear the smile in Walker's tone.

He nodded lazily. "Was I an okay date?"

"Yeah." Walker whispered into his ear. Ste felt him kiss his cheek. "You have been a great date, Ste."


	20. Lionel and Swift

Ste lay down and closed his eyes. He felt so knackered.

"Before coming here Amy said that I should just be me and that you were shit if you didn't like me after that so." He muttered tiredly.

"Is that what she said?" There was a smile in Simon's tone.

Ste nodded lazily. "Was I an okay date?"

"Yeah." Simon whispered into his ear and kissed his cheek. "You have been a great date, Ste."

Ste felt the bed dip so he opened his eyes again. Simon was lying by his side and looking at him closely. His hair had fallen over his face again. Ste reached his hand out and combed his fingers through it to push it back then rested it on the other man's arm in fatigue. His eyelids felt as heavy and as out of his control as the rest of his body.

He closed his eyes deciding to succumb to exhaustion. He hoped that when he woke up again his body would be his own once again.

"Ste." Simon held his hip firmly.

"What? I'm tired." Ste sluggishly turned himself away from the man's nagging insistent hand which felt up his back; too warm against his skin. An annoying irritation. "Gerrof. I'm hot."

"I know you are." Simon murmured into his ear. "You're hot as fuck."

There was a smile in his voice that made Ste realise his _double entendre_.

"What are you doing?" He slurred when Simon rolled him over to face him.

"Nothing."

"I'm not up for it, Simon. I don't want to do it."

"I know." Simon expelled a long sigh. "It's going to be a long night."

Ste's heart was beating in his head and ears. A slow march.

So slow.

"I won't do anything." Simon said. "I promise."

Ste wondered if Simon could feel how slow his heart was going as they rested chest to chest.

It wasn't normally that slow, he thought.

His weakness, the heaviness he felt in his body, the complete powerlessness; they all played second fiddle to the fact that he now felt that taking a single breath was heavy work. Work that he didn't feel up to do anymore.

He felt like his body was shutting down.

"I don't feel right." He slurred.

He decided to take the path of least resistance; succumbing to an overwhelming sense of relaxation and fatigue. He went with what his body wanted.

Complete stillness.

There was no need to fight it.

"Ste?"

Simon was touching his face and body but Ste had no energy to act or react, no compulsion to breathe anymore.

"Ste!"

{~}

Brendan's idea was ill conceived; the product of a late night of rumination. Nonetheless it stuck in his mind. In the middle of the night he left a message on Melanie's work phone number. He knew that either her or her secretary would check her voice mail as soon as she got into work.

"Mel, it's Brendan. I need you to come to my office when you get this message."

He got into work just shy of eight thirty, far later than usual dosed up on paracetamol for his heavy head. Paul was already at his desk.

"Good Morning, boss."

Brendan grunted a reply. "Morning."

Paul followed him into his office to discuss the day's schedule, gave him his coffee and took a seat opposite him. "You look like death warmed up."

"It's the lighting in this room. Trust me, I look sensational." Brendan mumbled as he downed his coffee in one.

"I better change the light bulbs then." Paul flashed him a shit eating grin.

Brendan scowled.

Paul cleared his throat and referred to his tablet. "Your day isn't particularly exciting. This morning you've got a walk through the company. No meetings. In the afternoon you have _Lionel and Swift_. They are ready to present more proofs to you for the rebranding. Walker should be popping in at some point. Time unspecified."

"I'll probably cancel the meeting with _Lionel and Swift_."

"Why?"

"They're shit."

Paul smiled. "You don't like them."

"It has nothing to do with whether I like them or not. They aren't up to scratch. The proofs they have produced so far are shit."

"I thought you wanted a rebrand to set us apart."

"I do. I have a plan B."

Melanie walked in as if on cue looking frazzled.

"Hi, Brendan. Sorry for barging straight in. This young man wasn't at his desk." She smiled vaguely at Paul. "Morning, Paul."

"Morning."

The project manager looked anxiously at Brendan. "I got your message and came straight away."

"Sit." Brendan pointed at the empty seat next to his PA. "Coffee? Tea?"

"No. I've had breakfast. Thanks." She checked her phone surreptitiously. "I hate to rush things. Is this going to take long?"

Her phone buzzed with an incoming text message. Her face paled as she punched out a text in return.

"Am I keeping you from something?" Brendan asked with a hint of annoyance.

"We have a bit of an issue downstairs. That's all."

It was not typical of Melanie to be on edge. She had a cool head. It raised a level of concern in Brendan.

"Is it something I need to know about?" He asked.

"Not at present." She crossed her legs. The top one started to jerk nervously. "I'll let you know if it becomes relevant to you. Sorry. I'm all yours."

"Good." Brendan said, "We have a problem."

Melanie frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"_Lionel and Swift_ aren't delivering."

Melanie's look to Brendan conveyed that she didn't understand why that was relevant to her given that she had nothing to do with the company rebrand.

"Aren't they one of the best marketing firms in the UK?"

"They are doing a fantastic job of hiding the fact." Brendan said. "They are expensive and they taking a lot of time producing shit."

"That's unfortunate but isn't that something you should talk to them about or Phil as head of finance?"

Brendan smiled. "No."

"You're smiling. I'm worried."

"I have an idea. It involves you. Actually, your IT boys."

"I'm listening."

"They've impressed me with the first draft of marketing for the Kilner project."

"I know. They're brilliant." She checked her phone again distractedly.

Brendan was getting close to confiscating it.

"So I need one of them to oversee the work and progress of those monkeys at the advertising firm and report back to me."

"You want one of them to work with you?" Paul said with a look of surprise on his face. "As an advisor? Which one?"

"Does it matter?" Brendan gave his PA a funny look. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No." Paul said hastily. "I'm sure he… I mean either of them…, the guys, would be chuffed to work alongside you."

"Are you saying you want to pull one of my boys out of the Kilner project and put him directly under you?" Melanie predictably looked less than impressed by the idea.

_Under me? Jesus. Don't get me onto that visual._

"Not quite." Brendan said. "I suggest a 70/30 split between jobs. You will still see more of him than I will."

"Brendan, do you even know who they are other than their names? They are IT guys. They don't have experience in marketing."

Brendan smirked.

"I have done my research. I've read their CVs. One of them has more marketing experience than even he probably realises. He has designed websites and innovative software packages for a couple of businesses. He'll just be working on a bigger scale."

Steven had done some marketing for _Coffee Hut_ and the art gallery on Watergate Street. He had also marketed himself perfectly as Caden.

_21 year old. Slim but toned. Friendly. A bit shy. A bit naughty. Very discreet. Open minded and open to role play including boyfriend. Available for companionship, dinners, travel partnering. Professional. Satisfaction 100% guaranteed. See pictures._

His advertising, pricing, services, promotion and strategy had hit the nail on the head.

He had known what he was doing. He had managed to make Brendan fall for him… it.

The marketing.

"I would need him to start with immediate effect."

"Who?" She asked anxiously.

Brendan was careful to appear indifferent especially given how keenly Paul was looking at him. Brendan felt like his PA had a long lens on his soul; reading it like a book and realising that there was more reason to this reshuffle than pure business.

"Steven." He shuffled some papers in front of him to appear nonchalant.

Brendan glanced up at Melanie when she did not react verbally.

Her nerves seemed to have kicked up a notch. She looked nauseous as she side-glanced at Paul before speaking to Brendan. "I need to tell you something in private."

Brendan nodded. "Paul could you leave us?"

"Sorry, Paul. No offense." Melanie said.

"None taken. I'll be at my desk if you need." Paul said before making his way out of the office.

Brendan gave her a bemused look. "What's the problem?"

Melanie looked ashen. "Just before coming to see you I received a phone call."

Brendan frowned when Melanie's phone started to ring. "What was the call about?"

"I'm sorry I've got to take this." Melanie answered her phone. Her hands gripped the handset so tightly that Brendan could see the tremble of muscle tension in her fingers.

"Hi. How is he?" She whispered worriedly. "... How long are they going to keep him in for?"

Brendan felt a low rumble of anxiety in his chest; a feeling of doom.

"What ward?" She nodded. "…Does his family know? … No. It's fine. I'll get Amy's number from HR and let her know… She'll be worried sick by now if he never got home last night… Please call me if there is any news, Simon. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye."

Was Melanie speaking to Walker?

It was about someone who was in hospital. A staff member by the sound of it. Someone with a girlfriend or wife called Amy.

"Why was Walker calling you?" He asked.

Melanie took a deep breath. "He called me earlier to tell me that Steven wasn't going to be in today."

Brendan felt tightness in his chest.

"Steven? Why?"

The tightness in Brendan's chest rose to wrap itself around his throat like it was going to choke him.

"He was admitted in a critical condition via ambulance into Chester Royal late last night, Brendan."

Brendan's heart rate rose. His hands gripped the edge of his desk.

"Is he okay?" He whispered, hoping upon hope that Melanie would reassure him that the reason for hospitalisation was benign.

She hesitated. "I know you aren't one for indulging in office gossip but yesterday he went out for dinner with Simon. Apparently he became unwell soon after."

Brendan thought back to the call he made to Walker during the night. Had Steven been unwell at that time? Had his moan of '_Simon'_ been a call for help rather than a seductive call for carnal attention?

His concern for Steven battled against anger towards Walker. Walker should have kept the lad safe.

"Where is Walker?" He asked, anger bubbling.

"At the hospital. Has been all night. He sounds exhausted." Melanie looked genuinely upset. "Ste was unconscious when he got to casualty."

How Brendan felt at hearing that was unlike anything he had ever felt before. Something was breaking in him.

"I can't stop thinking about his kids." Melanie said numbly. "How is Amy going to explain that their father didn't come home because he was taken to hospital?"

Kids?

Steven was a father?

It couldn't be. He had never given Brendan a single clue that pointed to that. He had come across as a carefree young man with little or no baggage not someone with parental responsibilities.

And who was Amy? A girlfriend?

A wife, God forbid?

More than ever Brendan was becoming aware of how little he knew about the lad. He felt dazed.

Still his main concern remained the lad's wellbeing.

"How is he now?"

"I'm not sure. Simon says that he is waiting to hear news." Melanie rubbed her eyes then looked at her boss. "You almost look as upset as I feel."

Brendan stiffened his countenance.

Melanie gave him a small knowing grin. "I've known you a few years, Brendan. I know that you care about your employees."

"What ward is he in?"

Brendan had to see him. It was moments like this that concentrated the mind and told one where priorities lay. Brendan's was Steven right now; the familiar stranger who he felt he knew so well in some ways and then not at all in others.

Suddenly everything was crystal clear. It had taken Steven being unwell and Brendan feeling that the lad might be stripped away from him for good that made him see the truth.

What he felt for Steven went beyond a mind-blowing fuck. It was more than those bursts of eroticism that he had injected into Brendan's life.

Brendan kept migrating back to the lad because when being near him felt like being immersed in a warm bath of happiness. Every aspect of Steven made Brendan crave him more. Like a moth to the flame he took the rough with the smooth; the risk of being burnt so that he could bask in the young man's heat and light.

Brendan had to do something he struggled to do. He had to go to Steven and show him that as far as he was concerned what they had had far surpassed what was normally shared between a rent-boy and his john and that he was regretful that it was over.

"The medical admissions unit." She replied then added. "Look, I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Because he is the one you want." Melanie said. "For the rebranding. This is going to put a hold on your plans."

Brendan cleared his throat.

"Yeah. Yeah. It will."

{~}

When Ste cracked his eyes open it was like someone ramming red hot pokers into them. He groaned in pain and turned away from the light shining through the curtains of the room he was in. His head was throbbing and he felt queasy like he never had before.

He squinted and put a hand on his forehead to shield his eyes from the rays of sun. Just lifting his arm felt like climbing Everest.

"God." He groaned in discomfort.

He realised he wasn't home almost straight away. The giveaway was the drip line in the back of his arm connected to a bag of clear fluid hanging above him, the white crisp sheets that covered the pale blue gown he was wearing and the three sick looking men in adjacent beds.

This wasn't his bedroom.

This was a hospital bay.

A wave of uneasiness washed over him. He sat up to look for his clothes and realised that he had an oxygen mask on his face.

He took it off and without warning a wave of nausea hit him followed by a burning swell that rose in his chest and up his throat. Bilious vomit projected out of his body and onto the crisp white sheets. The heaves were so violent that they physically hurt and caused him to tear up and gasp breathlessly. He continued to lurch but there was little substance to it just a lot of effort.

The man next to him shouted for a nurse,

"Oi! Can someone come in here? This man is puking his guts out!"

Ste groaned as he tiredly wiped his mouth on a bit of the sheet. He fell back into the bed floppily.

A couple of nurses ran in and looked down at the mess he had caused.

He whispered, "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. How are you feeling, Steven?" One of them asked.

She knew his name.

"Like I have the worst hangover in the world." He groaned.

"We'll do a couple of observations on you and get the doctor to see you."

"Why am I in hospital?" He asked tiredly.

"You were unconscious when you came into casualty via ambulance late last night. You are on the ward for monitoring and investigations now."

WHAT?!

Ste felt impossibly weak. His limbs felt like they were on puppet strings.

"We're going to clean up around you. You just lie back. Okay?"

He allowed himself to be manhandled as the nurses checked his vital stats and rolled him about so that they could clean up the sheets.

Once he was settled again one of the nurses left with all the dirty sheets in hand.

He looked at the wall clock. It was coming up to noon. He asked the remaining nurse,

"You said I was unconscious."

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Why were you unconscious?" She was busying herself around his bed, fluffing up his pillow, pushing the visitor's chair back, checking that his side light worked.

Not answering his question.

It was as if she was deliberately withholding information from him and Ste didn't like it.

"Yes."

"The doctor is still waiting for some blood results to get the exact reason. She'll be able to answer that question for you once they are back."

"Do you know where my things are?"

"Your clothes are in your locker in a bag. Your boyfriend has your wallet and keys."

"My boyfriend?"

"Your boyfriend." The nurse smiled at him kindly. "I've been told that he is the kind of man that you don't forget in a hurry."

A memory shot through Ste's mind.

'_I'm staying in town tonight at the Grosvenor. I was wondering whether you would keep me company and join me for dinner.'_

She meant Simon. Ste remembered going to dinner with him yesterday, driving to the hotel and seeing Simon standing at their table looking roguish as he approached. He recalled his John Dory main course and Simon's lamb. He remembered that they battled over who was a worse son.

He had had a good time. It had been a nice date. No fireworks. No palpitations in his chest. No butterflies in his stomach but it had been a pleasant way to spend an evening with a hot guy who gave him some welcome attention.

He couldn't remember anything after the meal though. His mind drew a blank. He had to ask Simon to shed some light over what happened.

"Did he come with me to the hospital?"

The nurse nodded. "The ward clerk says that he has barely budged from the waiting room and won't leave even though visiting hours aren't for another three hours. You must have given him a fright." The nurse said. "You've got yourself a keeper there."

"Can I speak to him, please?"

She chewed at her lower lip and looked at the other three patients in the bay. "Okay, but you are going to have to be quick otherwise everyone will be asking for special treatment."

She gave him a wink.

"Thank you."

"I'll go get him." She said with a smile. "I'm also going to bleep the doctor to check you over now that you are back with us."

He looked out anxiously towards the door of the bay waiting for Walker to step in once the nurse left but when it took longer than expected for her to return he rested back against his pillows and closed his eyes for a quick nap.

A few minutes later he heard brisk footsteps on the linoleum floor.

"Here he is." The nurse said quietly over his head, moments later. "I wouldn't wake him though. He has been through a tough night. Remember, don't be long."

Ste forced himself to open his eyes and was greeted by a look that mixed relief, joy and worry.

"Hi." He smiled automatically and slowly sat himself up.

"Hi."

{~}

Without giving it much thought, going to the hospital over doing his weekly walk through the company seemed like the only and right thing to do at that moment.

After dismissing Melanie, Brendan had tried to concentrate on work but with lunch fast approaching he gave up.

He grabbed his car keys, briefcase and long overcoat, gave Paul some implausible reason for needing to step out of the office and dashed out of the building.

The drive to the hospital was full of thoughts about the worst case scenario.

Brendan sprinted through the sterile corridors of the infirmary, following the blue and white signs to the medical admissions ward until he got to its reception desk.

With so much activity going on in the busy ward no one paid him any attention. Nurses were running around emptying catheter bags and pushing drugs trolleys. Porters shunted patients to and from the ward. A gaggle of doctors were gathered around an X-ray box in rapture.

Coming from an existence where everyone listened to him the feeling of invisibility was not something he was used to.

He needed to speak to someone about seeing Steven.

"Brendan!"

Brendan turned around to see Walker. The man looked like a bad version of himself. He was dragging his feet on the floor as he approached in fatigue. His eyes had dark bags under them and he tiredly held an anaemic looking plastic cup of coffee in one hand. His clothing was smart though. Brendan suspected he was still wearing what he had worn the night before.

"How is he?" Brendan exploded anxiously. He gripped the corners of Walker's waistcoat into fists and shook him, spilling the hot drink his associate was holding.

"Jesus, calm down, mate!" Walker said. He pulled away from Brendan. "One of the nurses has just told me that he is awake. They are just checking him over and making sure he is okay then I can go to see him."

"Why you?"

Walker leaned in and dropped his voice. "Look we are making a bit of a scene. Let's go out for some fresh air and come back when they are ready."

Walker headed for the doors, while his hand dipped into his pocket to extract a packet of cigarettes.

Brendan stayed put.

"Come on, Brendan." Walker said. "Trust me, hanging about won't get them to let you see him."

They stepped out of the building into the cold winter air and Walker lit up almost immediately. He took a deep drag out of his cigarette, exhaled and then looked at the lit end as if it were his oxygen.

"There's a smoking shelter over there." Brendan pointed out.

"Too smoky. Stings my eyes." Walker glanced at him as he took another hit. "So Melanie told you."

"She told me that he was here and that you would fill in the rest."

"I didn't feel it was my place to say anything more to her." Walker's brow furrowed. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"What happened to him?" Brendan asked.

"What happened to 'he was nothing but a decent fuck, now he is just a little insignificant employee'?"

Brendan ignored the comment. He repeated his question through clenched teeth.

"What happened?"

"You are showing a lot of concern for someone who doesn't give a fuck; being here, anxious to be by his bedside instead of running your precious empire. I am starting to think there was a lot more between you two than either of you are letting on."

The weather was cold enough to cause Brendan to shiver despite his long coat, scarf and gloves. Walker, on the other hand, had no outerwear on but seemed oblivious to the temperature.

He had always been a cold blooded creature.

"The dinner was good." Walker said finally. "We have more in common that I thought we would. We talked about all sorts. He has something about him, ain't he? We were talking about meeting up again."

_Over my dead body._

Brendan's knuckles cracked as he made fists. That is not what he what he meant by his question and Walker knew it.

"What got him into hospital?"

After a moment Walker dropped the cocky look.

"The short answer is 'I don't know exactly'. Towards the end of the meal he started to act strange."

"Strange how?"

"His speech was slurred. His co-ordination went to pot. His pupils were this big. He was finding everything funny. It was like he was on something." Walker leaned in and whispered, "He wasn't right. It was like a flip of a switch. One minute he was fine that next he was behaving like Pete Doherty."

"When I called you said you were in your room. You told me you were going to bed."

_With him._

Walker had implied that he had been about to sleep with Steven.

"I was messing with you. I wanted to rile you up. The truth is he was sluggish but conscious one minute and passed out the next."

"Did you take him up to your room?" Tongues of jealousy licked at Brendan.

Walker shook his head. "I called for an ambulance. Honestly things had been going so well. What a shit end to a great evening."

"I can imagine how you hoped it would end."

"I'm not going to lie. I hoped for a little action. Who wouldn't? Look at the guy. But it's not all I want from him."

Brendan alarmed. The possibility of Walker being serious about Steven seemed far worse than just wanting to have a one night stand with him. If he wanted a relationship with the lad that meant that Walker was in for the long haul.

"I like Ste." Walker was so close that Brendan could see the flecks of hazel in his brown eyes and smell the mint and cigarettes on his breath. "So get used to it."

Brendan fists were itching for a fight.

"I've got to go back to the hotel." Walker sniffed his armpits. "I need a shower and a change of clothes before I see him."

Brendan couldn't care less what Walker chose to do. The further away he was from Steven the better as far as Brendan was concerned.

He was going back to the ward.

"If you go back they won't let you see him." Walker said. "They only let me be with him when he first got to the ward because they thought I was his boyfriend."

"I've got powers of persuasion."

"Well if you succeed give him these." Walker handed over Steven's his phone and wallet. "And tell him I'll be round later."

Brendan looked at the familiar leather of the wallet.

He remembered how Steven always kept a condom in Brendan's size, a sachet of lube and piece of chewing gum in its sleeves because when things became rushed and frantic between them and they were too far from the lad's satchel or his own supply, Brendan could always rely on Steven dipping into his pocket and wallet to get what they needed.

He impulsively opened it.

There were no condoms or lube. There were a couple of tenners, a driver's licence, a credit and debit card. A few loyalty cards.

But they did not hold his attention. The photo of four people in the central clear sleeve did. A family. Steven, with a wide proud smile, was holding a gleeful toddler on his shoulders and the young svelte woman from the art exhibition was holding the hand of a small girl.

Brendan reached the conclusion that she must be Amy.

Walker looked over his shoulder.

"Shocked me too." Walker said. "Two fucking kids."

"Are they in a relationship?"

Brendan hated having to ask Walker but it seemed like he knew more about the man than Brendan did.

"Have you missed the fact that he's gay?" Walker said. "He accidentally knocked her up when he was young, younger, and confused. Twice. Didn't he tell you?"

"I-"

"Brendan. Why are you here, mate? Seriously. Ste is over you. He is trying to move on. Whatever you had with him, he obviously didn't feel that he could share basic information about himself and his life with you. That doesn't sound like someone who will be jumping with joy at seeing you. Get over him."

{~}

Brendan made his way back to the ward.

He was angry.

He was angry at Walker. He was angry at Melanie.

He was angry at anyone who seemed to know more about Steven than he did.

He was angriest at Steven himself. Why had he felt like he could share personal shit about himself to Walker on a first date and yet withhold the same information from Brendan despite being with him for months?

Had he really not seen Brendan as anything other than a cash cow that he had to sleep with to access funds?

He needed answers.

Brendan approached the first nurse he came across when he got back to the medical admissions unit.

"Hi. Could I see Steven Hay please?"

"Are you his boyfriend?" She asked.

He hesitated only for a moment before nodding.

"I was looking for you a second ago. I thought you may have gone. I'll take you to him but you've only got a few minutes." She led the way. "It's not visiting hours yet."

"How is he doing?"

"He has just been sick so he is feeling a little weak. Take it easy with him."

She led him into a bay.

Brendan's eyes immediately migrated to the bed in the far right corner near the window.

Steven looked insubstantial in his bed; a slip of a human being covered in an unsightly gown and brilliant white sheets. It looked like he was asleep.

Brendan walked up to his bed and looked down at the lad's pale, somnolent body. His stomach knotted. Any anger he felt disappeared.

"Here he is." The nurse said. "I wouldn't wake him though. He has been through a tough night. Remember, don't be long."

She walked away just as Steven's eyes opened.

Brendan didn't know what to do.

Sit.

Stand.

Do a one-eighty and walk away.

Now that he was faced with the lad he felt like he shouldn't have come. Walker was right. It was completely out of order. Steven wouldn't want to see him.

"Hi." Steven was smiling at him. It was a weak smile, laced with recognition, surprise and fatigue.

Brendan loved that smile. He had an irresistible urge to touch it.

"Hi."

The smile was gone as quickly as it appeared. It was replaced by a look of caution.

"What are you doing here?" Steven asked.

"That was going to be my question." Brendan replied. "I expected you at work today."

"Sorry."

Brendan gave the lad a dry grin. "I'm joking, Steven. How are you feeling?"

"Rough." He rubbed his head and eyes. "Seriously Brendan, why are you here?"

He sounded like Walker. What a way to feel welcome.

"I'm checking in on one of my employees. Is that a crime?"

Steven frowned. "I'm pretty sure you don't do this for all of them."

"I do when they are doing a good job at work." Brendan said.

The lad scoffed disbelievingly.

"Yeah. Whatever." He tiredly shuffled up the bed so that he was sitting more upright and smoothed his sheets down. He looked just as pale as the sheets he was lying on.

"Seriously. I was speaking to Melanie about giving you some more responsibility this morning. A new role at the company."

Steven looked curiously at him. "You think I'm doing a good job?"

"You've impressed me, Steven."

"Oh yeah?" His smile was back. "What's the new role then because we are dead busy with the Kilner project? I'll need to magic up more time, me."

"We can talk about it when you get back to work. First you have to be less…" Brendan pointed at the bed, "…ill."

Steven gave him a small smile. "Okay."

"Have the doctors been?"

"Um, yeah. This morning. The nurse told me I were asleep though."

Brendan felt a lump in his throat. Tightness in his chest. Signs of grief. "You okay? You going to be okay?"

"Yeah. I think so. I still feel a bit weird though. My head feels strange like floaty. I don't know what happened, Brendan. Like from last night to just now when I woke up. It's gone. I don't understand why I can't remember anything."

"It's fine. You are here now. That's all that matters." Brendan made a move to touch him but held back. He had a funny feeling he would get a slap. "Do you want me to get a doctor?"

"No. It's okay. One is on the way. The nurse wants me checked over now that I'm awake." He glanced behind Brendan. "Are you alone?"

"Were you expecting someone else?" Brendan knew the answer to that already. "Walker?"

Steven hesitated. "How did you know?"

Brendan was green with envy.

"I saw him just a few minutes ago. He was waiting for you to wake up but he's gone home now."

"He told me you gave him the green light to ask me out," Steven's voice was quiet.

Hurt.

"I never gave him the green light but what was I supposed to say? You didn't want to know. You walked away and ended our contract." Brendan said.

Steven started messing about with his drip line; winding figure of eights around his hand.

Eventually he whispered without looking up,

"It wasn't your place to pass me on like a possession you no longer wanted, Brendan. I know that is what you think of me. That is why I am so glad I left when I did. What I were doing with you and those other men, it weren't what I wanted out of my life. I did it because at the time I had to. But I am better than that. I want… people who know me to be proud of me and what I do."

The lad was so earnest. More principled that Brendan had realised. Single-minded and determined. He reminded Brendan of himself. And still he wouldn't share the details of his life with the Irishman.

_'People who know me'._

Brendan gently took Steven's hand into his and untangled the plastic tubing from the lad's wrist and fingers.

"I'm sure your son and daughter and their mother are very proud of you. I am sure Doug is too."

Steven eyes widened to almost comical proportions. "You know about my children."

Brendan nodded as he finished uncoiling the drip line. "And stop fiddling with this. It's giving you stuff that's supposed to make you feel better."

He sat back.

Steven sighed tiredly. "You confuse me."

Brendan thought that was ironic because Steven confused him. "Why?"

"Because sometimes you act like you care." Steven whispered.

Brendan thought that for such a smart kid, Steven could be really dumb. What other reason was there for being here right now if he didn't care for the lad?

"I do." Brendan said.

The pout on Steven was noteworthy. He was sceptical of Brendan's presence. He assumed an ulterior motive. He folded his arms across his chest and shook his head as if deciding, on balance, not to believe the man.

"I need to call Simon. He has my things and I need my phone to tell my family where I am before they get worried."

"Walker gave it to me." Brendan put Ste's wallet on the side table and placed the phone into his hand.

Steven was quick to search for messages and missed calls.

"You all live together?" Brendan asked. "Your children and their mother?"

"Yes." Steven was still checking his phone.

"Why didn't you tell me you had children, Steven?" He asked.

Steven looked irritated, "You mean like while you were fucking me?"

Brendan winced at the harshness of his tone and looked around to make sure the other patients hadn't heard.

"There were plenty of other opportunities. We had down time."

"It is not exactly something that clients are dying to hear."

"I wouldn't have minded."

"You're lying. When you paid me you were buying into a fantasy. You wanted Caden, someone who you could be with without that ball ache of trying to impress. Someone with no baggage. No strings attached. Admit it. That was the appeal. Why else did you choose to use an escort over picking someone up the usual way?"

It was true. That had been Brendan's intention at first but it had all changed. Brendan had just been too stubborn and pig-headed to acknowledge it.

"Remember when we went to Liverpool? My son, Lucas, was poorly. That's his name by the way. I wanted to stay with him but Ames said that I should go with you because we needed the money. And she was right. We had to pay the bills so I went and when I got back he was worse. I spent a night away from my family to sleep with you so that I could take care of them. That is what my life was like, Brendan."

Brendan felt sick to the stomach. All those times they had spent together, that he had seen as glimmers of light in his dark existence, had actually been moments that the lad had had to spend away from the people he really cared about in order to support them financially.

Brendan felt like he had violated him somehow.

"I come with a shit load of baggage, Brendan. Me. The real me. The kids and their mother, who is one of the best people in my life; they are the tip of the iceberg. If anyone who wanted to be with me knew all my shit they wouldn't want to know. But I am trying to make something of myself. I am trying to move on."

Steven didn't see the time they spent together in the same way as Brendan now did. At best, to him, those times had been a necessary chore.

A doctor approached them.

"Do you want me to go?" Brendan asked.

He assumed that the lad had had enough of him.

He was surprised when Steven gripped his hand firmly.

He was pretty sure that it was an unconscious move on the lad's part because Steven looked terrified.

"No. Stay. Please."

Brendan gave Steven's fingers a squeeze. "Okay. I'm not going anywhere."

_He isn't clinging to you because it's you. It's because he is petrified about what he is about to be told._

Brendan took one look at the doctor. She was far too young to know what she was talking about he decided before she opened her mouth. She looked no more than a day out of medical school.

He would have suggested paying to transfer Steven to a private hospital if he didn't already known how his idea would be received.

{~}

"Hi Steven. My name is Emma. I'm one of the doctors covering the ward today."

"Hi." Ste's head was throbbing but he didn't want to make a fuss.

He couldn't figure out why Brendan was there; what his ulterior motive was for the visit. He had said he wanted to see if Ste was okay and then he had claimed to want to know him better but everything about how Brendan had been while Ste had been under contract pointed to the opposite.

At one time Brendan had simple wanted to own him for his exclusive personal pleasure and for financial gain.

Still just having him close was comforting.

As wrong as that was.

The doctor looked at their interlinked hands. "Are you his partner?"

Brendan raised an eyebrow and looked at Steven.

They spoke at the same time.

"Yes. Brendan Brady."

"He's my boss."

The doctor frowned in confusion. "Are you okay for me to talk to you in front of your boss?"

Ste went red. "I mean, he is my boss but we are also, you know. We are going out... with each other."

_Shit._ Ste had never been a great liar.

He composed himself. "It's fine. Sorry my mind feels foggy. You can talk in front of him. I want him here."

Brendan externally winced at the vicelike grip Ste had on his hand and internally smiled at his words.

"How much do you remember of what brought you into hospital?"

"Not much."

"How were you feeling yesterday?"

"Fine. I went to work. Then I got home. I made my kids dinner and then got them to sleep. Then I drove to a restaurant in town for a meal with a friend."

She nodded.

"I were fine during the meal."

"Did the food taste okay?"

Ste gave her a curious smile. It was a Michelin starred restaurant. What did she think? "It tasted great. Why?"

"Did you drink anything?"

"Some water and a glass of wine. And before you ask they tasted fine too." He grinned at her but she was looking serious. "I definitely went to the toilet towards the end. When I was heading back to the table I started to feel woozy. But only slightly."

"What is the last thing you remember?"

"Simon, my friend, helping me out of the restaurant. He were holding me because my feet weren't moving properly."

"Can you remember anything after that?"

Ste shook his head.

"Are you normally well? No on-going medical conditions?"

"No. And I don't take regular medication."

"Allergies?"

"No."

"Do you drink alcohol?"

"Well, yeah, but like not much."

"What about drugs?"

"Huh?"

Brendan was looking at her closely.

"Do you take any illicit drugs?" The doctor qualified.

"No."

"It's just that your toxicology screen says otherwise."

"What?"

"When someone comes into hospital unconscious with signs of intoxication we routinely screen for various substances."

"But I told you I only had one glass of wine."

"And that holds up because there wasn't much alcohol in your blood but there were dangerously highs level of flunitrazepam."

Ste looked at her blankly. "What's that?"

Brendan's jaw clenched. "It's a date rape drug."

"What? How do you know?" Ste said.

Brendan's mind flew back to his conversation with Walker.

'_When I called, you said you were in your room.'_

'_I was messing with you, Brendan. I wanted to rile you up. The truth is he was sluggish but conscious one minute and passed out the next.'_

'_Did you take him up to your room?' _

_Walker shook his head. 'I called for an ambulance.'_

"Did you take the drug yourself?" The doctor asked.

"Why would he do that?" Brendan asked angrily. "Does he look like a druggie?"

"It's not like people walk around with drug addict tattooed on their foreheads. Some people go for occasional use. If you did or do, Steven, you can tell me. It's confidential."

"I don't take drugs. I never have." Ste couldn't believe the accusation. "I swear."

"Then whoever gave it to you either has a heavy hand or meant business. You had enough in your system to knock out two of you. You are lucky that someone called the ambulance when they did. It was a close call."

"Who gave it to me?"

"I don't know. I was hoping you might be able to shed some more light on what happened but amnesia is a strong side effect of the drug. We may never find out."

"I got spiked." Ste looked at Brendan in fear.

How was that possible?

Why had that happened?

He clung onto the older man's hand for dear life.

"Do you remember seeing anyone suspicious?" Brendan asked.

"No." Ste shook his head slowly. "It's not like I was looking though."

Fear and anxiety were rising. Who did this to him?

The doctor said. "Drink or food spiking is a crime, Steven. We should get the police involved."

"How could I have not known I was taking it?"

"Usually this particular drug comes in tablet form and dissolves into a clear odourless liquid so you couldn't have tasted it. One thing is strange though."

She referred to his hospital notes.

"What?" Brendan asked.

"You, um, there were no physical signs that anyone hurt you if you know what I mean. The night doctors examined you and found no signs of assault."

"So?" Ste was being slow on the uptake.

His mind didn't feel like it was firing on all cylinders.

Brendan seemed to understand her loud and clear. He looked uncomfortable as he explained her meaning.

"I think what the doctor is saying is that it is odd that someone drugged you but then didn't rape you."

"Exactly." Emma looked at Brendan. "This is going to be difficult to hear and I don't know how to put this nicely but Ste was found by paramedics in a state of undress in his friend's hospital bed at the _Chester Grosvenor_ just shy of midnight."

Ste rattled with shock.

Brendan looked livid. "Did you say he was naked?"

The doctor returned to the notes. "It says here that you were wearing your underpants and one sock."

"I don't remember."

"The drug alters your perception of things. You may have even appeared quiet amenable to going to his room. It makes you vulnerable and makes you do things that you wouldn't normally do. You shouldn't blame yourself."

She looked between the two of them.

"Can you give me a moment?" Ste said quietly. "I want to be alone."

"Of course." The doctor said. "Please don't get stressed, Ste. Let the police look into what happened before you come to your own conclusions. By the way, I think you are still experiencing some effects from the drug. It can take up to 48 hours for them to clear so I'd like to keep you under observation for at least another day."

She left but when Brendan made a move to stand too, Ste's grip became vice-like.

"No. Not you." He looked pleadingly at Brendan.

There was always a feeling of protection that he got when Brendan was near. It was like entering an oasis of safety. He couldn't let that go right now.

"Why did Simon take me up to his room when I was drugged?" He whispered. "Because that is what she is saying happened, right?"

"Yes." Brendan said through clenched teeth.

Ste could not reconcile the man that he had dined with to the monster would-be-rapist that he now appeared to be.

"I don't think he would do something like that."

"Don't you? I do."

Ste sensed the rage coming off Brendan. It was obvious that he had no doubts that Walker just hadn't got round to finishing what he started.

Ste wasn't so sure about Simon's guilt. A different theory was forming in his mind. One that was so much more sinister in his opinion.

What if the person who spiked him was the same person who was sending him malicious mail? If that was the case that meant two things.

Firstly, he was starting to act on his threats. This may have been a sign or worse an actual attempt on his life.

_Did you think I was lying when I said I had my eye on you? You must think I am a fool. Be careful not to underestimate me. Just because the website's down, your phone number is no longer working and your P.O. Box is closed doesn't mean I can't SEE you._

Secondly, Caden had been wrongfully accused.

"Don't look so worried. You are safe now. Concentrate on getting better and let the police do their job." Brendan said as calmly as possible.

"Okay." He felt reassured by Brendan's presence.

"I should go." The Irishman said. "The nurse only said I could be a few minutes."

Ste felt his hand being released. In an instant, his palm was cold and empty. He wanted to ask Brendan to stay but he knew he couldn't. The Irishman had work and more important things to get back to.

He couldn't stick around to be personal safety blanket to Ste even though at this moment he feared for his own life.

Brendan caressed his cheek with a feather light touch. "Have you've still got my number?"

"Yes."

"Good. Whenever you need me, doesn't matter what time it is or how pointless it seems, call me."

"Okay. I will." Ste lied.

There was a second's hesitation then Brendan leaned down towards him.

Ste was unsure of his intentions but then Brendan got that primal expression that made Ste feel all gooey inside because it made him feel cherished and cared for.

_He is going to kiss me._

_No._

_He can't. _

_I just vomited. _

Ste reached his hand out so that it covered Brendan's face as it approached his.

"No." He whispered. "My breath is well rank. I was sick just before you came."

It took all his will power to do that. Even though he felt like death warmed up Ste wanted nothing more than to feel Brendan's lips against his.

Brendan removed his hand from his face and raised an eyebrow.

He whispered,

"Have I told you how full of it you are? I wasn't going to kiss you."

The way he said that reminded Ste of when he had used the lash on Ste's cheek as an excuse to touch Ste at Ted Kilner's country home.

"Yeah you were." Ste said.

Brendan smiled. "Okay, I was."

"But you shouldn't be trying to kiss me, Brendan."

Brendan stopped smiling.

"You are my boss and I am you employee."

Brendan frowned.

"And I want to move forwards not backwards."

"Yeah." Brendan said; his face unreadable. "So do I."

Without permission he placed his lips onto Ste's.

It was a closed kiss but it was divine.

Ste touched his own lips when Brendan straightened up.

What was the meaning of that? Brendan was saying he wanted to move forward and yet kissing him. The Irishman was well weird, in Ste's opinion.

"I'll leave you to call home." Brendan turned on his heal and briskly walked out of the ward like a man on a mission.

Ste picked up his phone.

After a pause he dialled a number.


	21. Yoko Ono

_**Dear folks,**_

_**Happy New Year! I hope you all enjoyed the festive season. I am sorry for the silence. Believe me I missed telling this story as much as some of you like to read it. As an apology I have three offerings!**_

_**1) A longer than average chapter, ~11,000 words**_

_**2) A spoiler excerpt from Chapter 22 (NB it's a hard M spoiler so please be warned)**_

_**3) A 'Coming up next' segment.**_

_**If you aint into spoilers or smut then please stop reading at the point where it says spoiler over and over again!**_

_**Hugs, **_

**_Chips_ **

**{~}**

Brendan placed his lips onto Ste's.

It was a closed kiss but divine… and confusing. The Irishman was well weird, in Ste's opinion. He couldn't make heads or tails of him.

He touched his own lips when Brendan straightened up and looked down at him with an indecipherable expression. He ignored the soreness in his throat when he swallowed.

"I'll leave you to call home." Brendan said. "Bye."

"Bye." Ste whispered, too late because Brendan had already left the bay.

What was the meaning of the kiss? Surely kissing Ste was moving backwards not forwards?

Ste let his head fall back onto his pillow tiredly.

"Oi, mate?"

Ste looked over at the patient that had called the nurses for him when he was puking earlier. He was the only other patient awake in the bay.

"Yeah?" He was not in the mood for a conversation. It only exacerbated the ache in his throat anyway.

"So uh…, you are with your boss?"

Ste frowned.

"I overheard." The patient explained as he sat up in his bed and looked at Ste in intrigue.

Ste frowned at him.

"A word to the wise." The patient said. "I'm not sure what it's like for you lot but sleeping with the boss is never a good idea."

"You lot?"

"Yeah. No offence. Gay people."

"I'm pretty sure the consequences of sleeping with the boss are the same whether you are gay or straight." Ste said abruptly. _Moron._

"And anyway I am not sleeping with him. I don't see him in that way." He lied. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Yeah. Of course. Sorry." His fellow patient said unapologetically. "You should tell him that. It looks to me like he wants something to happen between you."

Ste was pretty sure Brendan didn't. He turned in his bed, away from the man's nattering.

"He doesn't." He said firmly.

Brendan could have anyone he wanted; not some ex-escort teen parent. The fact that they had barely spoken since Ste started the job backed up Ste's theory that Brendan had forgotten all about him and moved on.

He must have come to the hospital to check that Ste wasn't skiving off work before offering him this mysterious job. That was probably it but the kiss still didn't make sense.

Thinking about it hurt his head.

He picked up his phone.

He looked at it for a long while and looked over the missed call that Amy had made late last night. She teased him about succumbing to Walker's charms and sleeping with him on their first date.

_As if._

Then this morning she sent him a text.

_Hi. I know you probably stayed over with Walker last night but you didn't reply to my call yesterday like you usually do so I am starting to freak out. Please send me a quick text telling me you are ok xxx _

Drama queen.

He texted,

_Hi. Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I'm okay so don't worry. Long night. I'll tell you about it later. I'll be home after work. Love u_

He looked around the sterile bay he was in and at the three men he was sharing it with. The nosy one was still looking at him curiously.

He made a decision there and then. He slowly sat upright and shuffled to the edge of the bed. It was peculiar how when he got moving the feeling of light-headedness and dissociation became more obvious. There seemed to be a time delay between what he wanted his body to do and when it decided to do it. He still felt overwhelmingly tired and weak.

The doctor was right. He was still partly under the influence of the drug.

It made standing up an ordeal but he did eventually with concentration and patience.

"Mate, you look like you're going to keel over." Nosy patient said. "You should get back in bed."

_You should mind your own business_, Ste thought as he knelt next to his locker careful not to pull on his catheter or drip line.

"I'm fine." He mumbled as he took out his bag of clothes.

The jumper was not wearable. A large vomit stain covered it. The scent had permeated into his other clothes but he had no choice but to use them.

"Are you thinking about leaving against medical advice?"

Ste nodded.

"I'm feeling better." He said. It was true but he was far from fighting fit.

"You'll need to get the nurse to take your catheter and line out first. Say you can take fluids and walk to the toilet fine on your own and you don't think you need them anymore. When their backs are turned you can walk out of here."

{~}

Brendan knocked on the front door to Walker's hotel room so hard that his knuckles turned red with the impact.

"Coming." Walker said in annoyance from the other side as his footsteps approached the door. "Is that you, Brendan?"

"Yes."

"Thought so."

Walker's voice was just the other side of the door but he did not open it.

"So did they let you see him?"

"Yes."

"How is he?"

Brendan sneered. "Let me in, Walker."

"Not yet. Not while you're angry."

Brendan curled his hands into fists and spoke through clenched teeth. "Who's angry? I came for answers."

"About last night?"

"You lied to me. You told me you never took him back to your room."

"I knew you'd get the wrong idea if I told you." A hint of fear leaked out of Walker's voice.

"You arsehole. Open the door!" Brendan hissed.

He banged the door hard and then used the full weight and force of his body to try and ram it open. It shook and shuddered but stayed in place, leaving Brendan's side bruised.

A couple of young women walked past, practically plastering themselves to the opposite wall of the corridor away from Brendan. They looked at him with trepidation. One look from him prompted them to break into a run for the lifts.

"Okay. Yeah. I will, but hear me out first. It's a misunderstanding."

"You mean the fact that he was naked and unconscious in your bed." Brendan said sarcastically.

"He wasn't completely naked. Listen. After the meal Ste was a mess. High as a kite. He wanted to go home. Drive, for fuck's sake. He was in no fit state. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting him rest up in my room for a few hours. Sleep it off."

"You knew that he had been drugged?"

There was a pause of silence. "I'm not an idiot. He was slurring. His pupils were blown. Did they get a positive on the tox screen?"

Brendan sniggered menacingly. It was just like Walker to play dumb when he was knee deep in trouble.

"What was it? An opiate? A benzo?" Walker asked.

_Like you don't know._

"Why don't you tell me?" Brendan said.

Walker was incredulous. "You think I did it?"

Brendan leaned in close to the door. "Yes."

He was surprised when the door opened then.

He expected to find Walker armed and ready for attack but his colleague was fresh out of the shower with a bath towel covering his modesty. His wet hair dripped small tears of water onto his bare shoulders.

Walker's arms hang loosely by his side, unprepared for attack. It drove Brendan to do the same.

This was not the behaviour of a guilty man unless Walker was acting; something that he was more than capable of doing.

"Why would I drug Ste?" He asked as he headed for his wardrobe.

He shamelessly dropped his towel only to quickly fling on a t-shirt and tug on a pair of boxer briefs.

"To get him to sleep with you." Brendan answered.

Walker laughed while he put some jeans on. He stopped when he realised Brendan was being serious.

"If that had been my intention then I would have fucked him, Brendan. I wouldn't have called 999 when he wasn't fucking breathing."

"Why was he naked in your bed?"

"He was feeling hot!" Walker defended. "Come on! Do you think I would have left him like that for the paramedics to see if I had something to hide? Why would I poison him in a roomful of dinners who could act as eyewitnesses? I thought you would credit me with more sense."

Brendan knew that pulling a stunt like that would be an uncharacteristically stupid move on Walker's part. The problem was that he had no other theories to explain what had happened.

Also, what was to say that Walker wasn't double bluffing and trying to throw Brendan off the scent?

"The tox screen said he had dangerously high levels of _Rohypnol_ in his blood." Brendan said.

Walker nodded to himself as if that is what he had suspected. "Date rape drug. That makes sense."

He walked away from Brendan to pick up a cigarette. He lit up and started puffing away after cracking a window open.

"If you didn't do it then who did?" Brendan asked to Walker's back.

"Maybe he did it to himself and took more than he could handle."

Walker's theory hit Brendan like a freight train. "Steven is no drug addict."

"How do you know?" Walker asked calmly as he turned to face Brendan. "Until this morning you didn't even know that he had a family."

Walker's words stung with their truth.

Brendan knew little about Steven. It was a strange realisation because when he had been with Steven it had felt like he knew every inch of the lad's mind, body and soul. The reality was that Brendan was little more than a strange; a man that had been another notch on the escort's bedpost in the name of money.

"Maybe he parties. Once in a while. For recreation. I'm not judging. I dabbled in my day. Remember?"

Brendan remembered. Walker became very au fait with a variety of drugs during his misspent youth, just falling shy of true addiction. His remaining vice was tobacco.

But Steven was not Walker. He had been genuinely shocked by his toxicology result.

_Sexual position: Versatile_

_Sexual orientation: Gay_

_Smoking : Non-smoking_

_Alcohol: Light-moderate_

_Drugs : No. You can_

"No. He doesn't 'party' like that." Brendan said.

"If he didn't take it himself then who did it and how? And what was the motivation? Because, mate, it's a strange location for that kind of crime."

Brendan stared long and hard at Simon trying to gauge his guilt or innocence as he finished off his cigarette and ground the butt against the window pane.

"He's got a hold on you. I can see it in your eyes." Walker flicked the crushed butt out of the open window. "You see him through a soft focus lens and airbrush his imperfections."

No. Brendan saw Steven's 'imperfections' in sharp relief but found that they only added not subtracted from the lad.

"He doesn't even know it; that you are his great defender. Does he know you are here? Investigating? Does he even want you to fight his battles? Because this is what you do with these… lads that come into your life."

Walker said that last sentence slowly, enunciating every word.

Brendan frowned. "What the fuck are you going on about?"

"You hold them in your possession like trophies. You stifle them. You keep them next to you but you don't really care about them. You just want them to be untouched by anything and anyone else. You're a self-centred bastard, Brendan. Maybe that is why they leave you in the end. Eventually they need to be with someone who can give them some feeling back. Look at Ste and Vinnie."

Brendan blanched.

Waller smiled sadly. "Yeah. I know you don't like talking about them. Especially Vinnie."

Why was Walker talking about him? Why did he feel entitled?

"Don't talk about him." Brendan commanded. He felt an irrepressible wave of grief.

"Oh no. We must not talk of the dead." Walker whispered sarcastically. "Have you ever wondered why he did it? Why he felt there was no other way out? Maybe you should let Ste go before he ends up doing the same thing."

{~}

Ste took a taxi home. It was an expense he could have done without but he wasn't up for a bus journey that involved one change and funny looks from people who could smell sick on him.

The taxi drew to a stop in front of his house. The cul-de-sac was quiet as was typical for a weekday during working hours. He paid up, gingerly made his way to his front door and let himself in.

He knew that Amy and the kids would still be out for another two hours. It gave him a chance to decide whether he was going to tell her what happened or not.

He checked for mail then took a shower before changing into sleep clothes. By the time he was in bed he felt ready to sleep for days but he only planned to have a quick nap. He had to go back to the hotel to collect his car and maybe pay a visit to the Chester police department.

Just as his eyes closed he heard knocking on his front door; strong firm persistent hits against the wood that reverberated through the house.

"Use the doorbell like a normal person." He mumbled as he slowly shuffled downstairs.

He looked through the peephole and nearly stumbled back with shock.

"Doug!"

Ste opened the door to be met by the winter chill and the cold stare of his former friend. He looked beyond Doug. At least Benji wasn't with him. He gave Doug a tentative smile.

Ste wasn't sure why he was there after weeks of silence but just seeing him again warmed his heart. He stepped aside to let Doug in but the American stayed on the porch.

"You look awful, Ste." He whispered.

"Thanks." Ste answered.

_Charming._

"Shouldn't you be in hospital?" Doug frowned.

Ste was taken aback. "How did you know I-"

"I got a call from someone called Melanie a couple of hours ago saying that you put me down as your next of kin. She told me that you were admitted to Chester Royal unconscious. But by the time I got there you'd walked."

Ste had forgotten that he had put Doug as next of kin over Amy. That was why Doug was there; out of a sense of obligation rather than out of genuine concern.

"What happened?" Doug whispered.

His expression was blank but his red worried eyes told another story.

"I, uh..." Ste looked from left to right to make sure none the prying ears of is neighbours weren't listening. "I were drugged… while I were out for dinner."

His shiver was as much about the cold weather that touched his skin as it was due to the thought of what had happened to him.

Doug's eyebrows shot into his hairline. "You what! Who did it?"

That can of worms. Ste didn't want to open it at that moment.

"It doesn't matter. I'm okay now. Just a bit wobbly." He said. He held the door even wider and trembled at the cold. "You want to come in?"

He tensed while waiting for Doug's answer. After hesitating long enough for Ste to believe that Doug was going to decline, Doug walked in.

"Are Amy and the kids out?" He asked.

Ste led him to the living room and collapsed into the sofa tiredly. "Yes."

"Good. We need to talk."

They looked at each other for a while without words; sizing each other up and deciding where their friendship lay.

Doug broke the silence.

"Why would someone drug you?"

"I don't know." Ste swallowed against his sore throat; a side effect of the intubation.

"The nurse at the hospital told me that you could have died."

"I didn't."

"I'm glad." Doug said seriously.

Ste smiled. The events of the last day were fading with the presence of his friend.

"I didn't think you ever wanted to see me again."

"I didn't until this happened." Doug said softly. "I was so angry with you, Ste. But when I found out that you were in hospital I realised that I was wrong to just avoid you. I owed you an explanation for why I wasn't speaking to you anymore."

Ste frowned. "Why are you angry with me?"

Doug shook his head in disbelief. "Do you seriously not know?"

Ste shook his head. "No."

Doug delved into the pocket of his coat and revealed the 'work' phone that Ste had used exclusively for his communications with Brendan.

{~}

Brendan walked into a hair salon to be met by an atmosphere of pop tunes, idle gossip and frying hair. He could feel an itch of discomfort crawl over his skin due to the unfamiliar environment while he visually searched the bustling room. This was his first time in the establishment since it opened three years ago; a small investment that he had all but ignored.

'_You paid for it. You may as well see it once at least.' _His sister had rationalised when he attended the opening ceremony.

Still, the place seemed to be thriving without his beady eye on it.

His visit now was out of necessity. He needed his sister's ear and company.

All eyes in the salon, all female, were turned to him. A blonde busty woman with a disproportionately small waist eyed him up shamelessly.

"What can I do for you, love?"

She was running a comb through a client's hair with such brutality that Brendan was surprised that head was still attached to body.

"I was looking for Chez. Could you tell her Brendan's here?"

"Oh my God!" The blonde said excitedly, beaming from ear to ear. She forgot all about her customer as she turned her attention fully on him. She gripped his arms firmly.

"How could I have not realised? You're Cheryl's brother! She has told us so much about you but we decided that she made you up. You don't look alike at all!"

He looked at her like she might be confinable; like she didn't have two brain cells to rub together.

"My name is Carmel by the way." She extended one hand out delicately.

"My sister?" Brendan demanded, deadpan.

Carmel looked flustered at his no nonsense tone. "Oh! Yeah! She's in her flat taking a late lunch break."

"Thanks."

{~}

"That's my phone." Ste stated the obvious as he looked at the device in Doug's hand.

"You left it the day we were practicing for your interview." Doug said.

His eyes were like microscopes, closely inspecting every expression on Ste's face.

Ste couldn't meet his eye in case the truth showed in his. They held secrets that he had kept from his best friends; that he had carried on sleeping with Brendan for money for weeks beyond saying that he had stopped, that Caden was incarcerated in town and that, until recently, he was still getting malicious mail.

The phone held one of those secrets.

"Thanks for returning it." He said and made a move to get it back.

Doug kept it out of reach. It was charged but the screen showed that it still needed a passcode to access functions. That gave Ste a glimmer of hope that his secret was intact.

"You said this was an emergency phone." Doug asked.

"Yes."

"Why are you lying to me?" Doug's accusation was barely audible.

Ste felt his stomach bottoming out. "What?"

"Ste. I know." Doug said.

"Know what?"

"For one thing I know that you work for one of Brendan's companies."

Ste sighed with relief. "Oh. That. I didn't know that when I applied though. It was a weird coincidence. But it's fine because he called me to his office on my first day and we agreed that what I did for him before wouldn't affect our working relationship. And anyway I barely see him at work."

"So you don't sleep with him anymore?"

Ste went red. "No. Why are you asking that? I haven't in ages."

Doug was seething while he typed in a four digit numerical code into Ste's phone and went into his messages.

_Shit._

"How did you crack my passcode?" Ste asked. He reached for his phone again but Doug pulled away.

He showed Ste the endless list of messages that had only one name. Over and over again.

Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile. Brendan Mobile.

Ste was truly busted.

Doug said. "I thought I was your best friend."

"You are!"

"Then why have you kept this secret? And why do you lie to my face. The last phone message you got on this phone from Brendan was just five weeks ago. You said you stopped escorting after the exhibition months ago!"

"Doug, I-"

"You went back to him even though he hurt you. He humiliated you by paying you when you said that all you wanted was a proper relationship. But you still allowed him to hire you exclusively for sexual favours like some kind of sex slave. I never thought you could break your basic principles and stoop so low for money. "

Doug keyed into the phone's voicemail.

"Please don't listen to them." Ste pleaded.

He remembered how some of Brendan's voice messages had been sweet, others suggestive. He had stupidly saved some of the ones that made him feel a warm glow inside. Like an idiot. He didn't want Doug to realise how naïve he had been.

"I've heard them already." Doug said. "Explain this one."

Brendan's low drunken Irish lilt echoed through the living room.

_'__I'm sorry... I get it… I see why you think I used you. You think I bought your friend's art to soften Kilner but you're wrong. I say it like it is. You know that. I would have told you if that was my intention. I haven't lied to you. Not once. I hope you believe that. Just… okay… that's it.'_

Ste went white. Now he knew why Doug was really pissed off.

"Brendan bought my paintings?"

"He, um, yes. He did it to get a business deal with the Kilners."

Doug looked devastated. "But he denied that in the message."

"I know. He told me that he did it for me because it would make me happy as your friend to see that you were rewarded financially for your work."

"So buying them was a gift to you like those presents you got from your other clients; to keep you sweet so that you would bend more easily to their requests in bed." Doug looked even more crushed. "It had nothing to do with liking my work. I put so much time and love into them. Does he even look at them?"

Ste stayed quiet. He couldn't bring himself to say that he had no idea where they were. In a skip for all he knew.

"I thought you knew how much they meant to me." Doug said.

"I do. I stopped seeing him when I found out, Doug. I am so sorry I didn't tell you. I wanted you to enjoy the money you got because you deserved it. I didn't want you to give it back out of principle."

"I'm too poor to make that kind of principled gesture." Doug scoffed. "I just can't get round why you went back to him and allowed him to use you like that. Again. And why just him?"

The only reason why Ste went back to having sex for money was because it was the only way he could have Brendan; be near him, in his company, touched by him. He had lied to himself that it was for the cash alone.

How could he explain that to Doug without appearing dumb or desperate?

"I needed the money." He said. "And Brendan gave me a good offer. I did what I had to do."

"So why did you tell him your real name?"

"What? I didn't. Not while he was my john."

Even as he said that a splinter of a memory entered his mind of a cold Georgian guest room, in the countryside, in the middle of the night.

"Then why did he call you Steven here?"

Doug played another voice message.

_'Hi. Ignore my last two messages. Drink talking. I understand if you want to terminate our contract and you don't want to see me again. It is your right. I'm calling because I never paid you for Tuesday night. I am a man of principle. I asked you to do a job and you did it. I owe you and I want to settle my debt. So call me, Steven, whenever you can stand to speak to me.'_

"Oh my God." Ste went red.

"… _Anyway, I like you and I wanted to tell you something I've never told a client before. My name is not Caden. My name is Ste. Steven. Hay. So there. Now you know."_

_Shit._

"I told him when I thought he was sleeping one night. He never let on that he heard me."

"Why would you do that?" Doug looked confused.

"I don't know." _Because I really liked him and I wanted to share something real with him that I have never shared with another client._ "I felt like it."

Doug was dismayed. He shook his head as he looked at Ste closely.

"What?" Ste asked.

"He is, was, your client and now he is your boss."

"I know."

"What you are or were hoping for is just a fantasy."

"I am not hoping for anything."

"And those kinds of relationships don't work out. They are too unbalanced."

"I know, Doug. I know. Why are you saying this?"

"Because now I understand why you didn't tell Ames and me about any of this. You knew that we would tell you it was a bad idea and try to stop you. But that isn't a reason to shut out the people who know and love you. When we first read and heard the messages Benji and I thought you didn't value my friendship. After all I had done for you I was tired of being messed about. My relationship with Benji nearly suffered because of the secrets I kept from him for you. So I decided to stay away from you."

"Benji knows?"

"Yes."

"And he said that I didn't value our friendship?"

_Bastard! Your boyfriend is over-possessive and paranoid!_

"He felt pushed out sometimes, Ste. Excluded when it came to you, me and him."

"I have always included him. He is your boyfriend and I am your best friend. We aren't in competition."

Ste really did not feel like talking about 'Yoko Ono'.

"Well he thought you hated him. He got paranoid."

"Was he the one to go into my phone?" Ste said.

"Only because he wanted to see whether you were badmouthing him."

Ste's eyes opened in shock. "He can't just go through my things because he is paranoid, Doug!"

"I know. I told him. I made him promise to not tell anyone about what we found."

Ste sighed. "I am sorry I didn't tell you what was going on but it were not cool for you to look through my things."

Doug gave an even bigger sigh. "I know. I apologise."

Ste sat back. He crossed his legs on the couch and faced Doug. He started to play with his toes while he spoke softly.

"And for your information I do want to tell you things but recently there has been stuff that I knew you would be pissed off about and others that I didn't want to worry you with. It had nothing to do with me not trusting you or thinking you weren't a good friend." Ste said. _No more secrets_. "Do you want to know the rest?"

Doug looked immediately worried. "I don't know. You have put on your serious voice."

"Come." Without explanation Ste led Doug up the stairs and across the landing in the direction of his bedroom.

"Caden was arrested by Chester police a few weeks ago and is in custody. He was trying to rob a shop in town." He said with Doug behind him.

"I'm sorry. What now? Who?"

"Because he was found in town and he had a motive the detective investigating my letters said that he was probably the guy sending them. So they are charging him with that too. But now I think they are wrong."

They entered his bedroom. Doug watched numbly as Ste opened his underwear drawer and took out a large clutch of letters from the bottom.

His eyes widened in astonishment as Ste handed them over to him. "I kept getting them even after I told you and Ames that they stopped. They were getting more aggressive and frequent." Ste said.

"Shit, Ste. Have you shown them to the police?" Doug asked as he scanned over them. He had turned pale.

"No. But I showed them loads of others. All they do is help me file a report and then they say that they are still investigating the matter."

"Amy doesn't know any of this?"

"No."

"She needs to. Fuck not worrying her. She lives under the same roof." Doug said anxiously. He started pacing the room.

His expression clouded over. "Wait! You said you were poisoned last night."

Ste nodded. His friend was coming to the same conclusion that he had.

"It's him." Doug said nodding. "The police have got the wrong guy. It's not Caden. It's whoever drugged you."

"You seem sure."

Doug's words of advice #11-

"_Not one hundred percent but the balance of probability is that similar and chronologically close events are linked."_

"But I haven't had a letter since Caden was put away. Maybe it's two different people."

"We'll know if you get another one while Caden is still in jail."

Ste shuddered. "I never thought I would be saying this but I hope it comes soon because Caden's trial is set for next week and I don't want to take to the stand and falsely accuse him of something after what he did to me in the past. He'll come and seek revenge."

Doug rubbed his head as he took everything in and thought it through. "I think you will get a letter before. You said that this bastard drugged you while you were out for dinner. Somewhere public. It means that he is a showman. He wants to take the glory of what he does to you. He won't let Caden take the fall. And remember, you are not alone. I'll help you figure this out."

Ste replied to Doug's smile with his own.

Ste pulled his friend into a hug.

"I really missed you." He whispered.

Doug sighed. "Me too."

"Are we friends again then?"

Doug gave him an extra tight squeeze then grinned. "God, you are so sentimental!"

{~}

"I can't believe you are here! Shouldn't you be working?" Cheryl said as she gave her brother a hug. "You are always working."

"I got some news this morning that pulled me out of work. I had someone to see urgently." Brendan said. "Taking the rest of the day off."

"I'll make you a sarnie."

"No bother, sis. I'm not hungry."

"When are you not hungry?" She smiled.

Brendan sat at the dining table and watched and listened while his sister ate and rabbited away about how busy work was. How he had to check it out because business was booming. How he needed to sample the village's night life at a club called _The Loft_.

Et cetera.

Et cetera.

Brendan's mind zoned out when he realised that he wasn't going to get a word in edgeways until Cheryl run out of steam of her own accord. He punctuated her sentences with agreeable noises to appear like he was listening.

"… Mary says that he hasn't been back to your place for some time."

"Hum." Brendan replied.

"Brendan?"

"Yep."

"Are you listening to me? I asked about how Caden was? Mary says he hasn't been over to your place for a while."

"Steven."

"Huh?"

"His real name is Steven." _Caden is his alias. His escort name_. "Caden is his nickname."

"That's not a nickname." Cheryl said with a smile. "That's just another name!"

"Take it up with him."

"I would if I got to see him again." She said teasingly. "Last time I asked about him coming over for dinner you bit my head off and said it was over."

Brendan grunted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Cheryl said then imitated his grunt.

"It means he's dating."

"Dating?"

"Other men."

"That's a shame. You looked like you were really into each other."

Brendan grunted again. "Get your eyes checked, sis."

"I'm being serious. When I saw you with him you were all 'I love touching you so I'm going to take forever to hand you back your underpants and I'm going to look at you like a pervert in front of my sister so that she feels like a spare part!'."

Brendan scrunched his face up in embarrassment and denial.

"Also to hand over in evidence, you introduced him to both me and Mary. That's unheard of for you. That pretty much makes him family!"

"How exactly?"

"Mary said that the two of you were inseparable." She added.

"She's only met him once. She's an unreliable source."

"Is she though? She said that she has never had to do so much cleaning up in the apartment."

"It was a dinner party. Once."

"I'm not talking about the dinner party. She was talking bins full of condoms and laundry hampers full of used linen! Like all the time!"

She raised and lowered her eyebrows.

Brendan groaned. "Fuck's sake! She told you that?"

"Yeah but recently she says that there hasn't been any evidence that he's stayed over."

Brendan cringed. "I am not speaking to my sister about… that. And stop talking to Mary about me behind my back."

"She's my intel since you're so shifty and quiet. It was that or a tagging you with a tracer."

"Funny."

"Okay. Fine. You're a spoil sport. I won't get any more info from Mary." She sipped her tea and then said. "What did you want to talk about by the way? You hate coming to Hollyoaks. This must be serious."

"I wanted to ask you something."

Cheryl's phone beeped interrupting him. She looked at the message it signalled.

"It looks like my next client has arrived early. She's a correction. She bleached her hair at home. Now she looks like a troll doll. I should get back."

"Okay. I'll talk to you later."

"No. You were saying something."

"It's okay, Chez. Your job is important."

"My brother is even more important. I can get someone to cover me or reschedule the appointment if necessary. So shoot."

Brendan took a deep breath in.

"I was just thinking that maybe you could come to the cemetery with me."

Cheryl's eyes grew as wide as saucers.

Brendan had not been since the funeral months ago despite his sister's attempts to reach him every time she went to visit the gravestone.

"I decided not to bring it up anymore. Not until you were ready." She said seriously.

"Yeah."

Brendan thought back to what Walker had said about him and his relationships with Ste and Vincent. Brendan knew that they bore little similarity to each other but he could see what Walker was alluding to. Brendan had always felt a need to be in control so that he never found himself vulnerable. It permeated through every aspect of his life. And yet, despite his every effort he had still lost Vincent.

"Yeah. I'm ready." He said. "I want to see him, pay my respects and lay things to rest."

His sister smiled softly. "I am so happy to hear that."

{~}

Ste walked into the office he shared with Guy. It looked like a bomb hit it.

Guy weaved over to him over piles of files and pulled him into a chest bump.

"What have you done to our office? I've only been gone two days!" Ste said.

"Busy. Busy. Busy. Shit's been cray without you!" He said. "Welcome back."

"Thanks."

"Why didn't you answer my calls?"

"I was trying to get better." Ste said with a smile.

_And I was getting shouted at by Amy for not telling her stuff after I told her stuff. And I got lectured by her and Doug about 'seeing Brendan for the loser he is'. And I went to the police to tell them I got spiked. And I worried about someone trying to kill me. And I wondered about why Brendan never told me that he knew my real name._

_And I thought about him. A lot. _

_Like a hell of a lot._

"I heard you were rescued back from the jaws of death. What did Walker do to you on your date?" Guy said with a smile. "I know I said he looked like a bit of a bad boy but fucking hell!"

Ste plastered his smile on. "Is the whole office talking about it?"

"No. But most are!" He winked cheekily. "You know how it is. Rumours abound. Some people are saying food poisoning. Overdose. Swine flu. An exacerbation of a chronic illness that you haven't told us about. A sex game gone wrong. The list goes on."

Ste looked at him in horror.

"I'm kidding. That last one was one of my personal theories. What was it then?"

Ste shrugged. "Not sure. Probably a bug. I were fine quickly though."

"Is it true that Simon took you to the hospital in an ambulance from the restaurant?"

"Yes."

"Shit, Ste! What a way to end an evening. So I take it you aren't going to meet up again."

"Actually, he wants to. He has called me every day since." Unlike Brendan. The Irishman hadn't called him once since his hospital visit. "He suggested Judo next time."

"Is that safe after what happened last time? I mean if sitting for a meal gets you into hospital what are you expecting from martial arts?"

"He is a black belt. He has control."

Guy smiled. "Oh. Yeah I get it now."

"What?"

"He wants to get physical with you. He'll be all over you with his holds, grapples and throws and whatever else you guys do when you judo."

Ste smiled. "It's not a verb."

"And the adrenaline will be rushing through your bodies and he'll restrain you and you'll fake trying to struggle to get out of his hold. And Simon will be like, 'Oh, I'm sorry. Did my hand touch your ass? My bad, I was just judoing'."

Ste remembered how Brendan had restrained him during foreplay. He felt goose pimples come up at the thought.

Guy grinned. "Shit! Look at you blush. Your ears are on fire!"

Ste collected his thoughts and turned them back to Simon. "He said that he had a surprise for me."

"For his pride alone he probably just wants to get through a night without killing you!"

Guy laughed.

Ste didn't. There was nothing that made him suspect that Walker had spiked his drink other than unfortunate circumstance. Still, Guy's joke was a little too close to home.

"So what do you think? Are you going to see him again?" Guy asked as he sat back at his desk.

"Maybe. I haven't thought about it yet. We got on until I started feeling unwell." Ste put his satchel down and sat at his own desk. "Anyway, we should get to work. You need to fill me in on what's been going on while I've been away."

"First things first, Melanie called just before you got here. She said that you should call her back when you have a minute. It's probably about a return to work interview. This organisation is really anal about sick leave."

"Probably." Ste said. That made Brendan's personal visit make even more sense. Although having a personal visit from a CEO to investigate absentism seemed over the top.

He fired up his computer and noticed a gift next to it. It was the size of a paperback book, rectangular in shiny black wrapping paper. It called to mind a miniature coffin. There was a card attached and inside a simple typed message.

_Welcome back._

He tried to hide his fear as he asked Guy,

"Did you get me this?"

Guy looked at it briefly. "Um no. I don't know who did. It was here when I arrived this morning and I'm sure it wasn't there when I left yesterday. Maybe it's the surprise Simon was talking about."

Ste pushed away from it in dread. What if it was from his stalker?

"Are you okay, mate?"

Ste released a held breath. "Yes."

"Well, open it then."

"Maybe later."

Guy laughed. "You're one of those that goes for delayed reward, aren't you? Toss it here then. I'll open it for you."

An irrational part of Ste thought that it could be a parcel bomb or one of those that contained deadly poison. If that was the case then he couldn't watch as his friend opened it and died in his place.

So he said,

"No! It's fine. I'll open it."

He kept the gift at arm's length and slowly unwrapped it. His eyes were nearly shut in fear. Inside was an equally black and shiny rectangular presentation case.

"Come on, the suspense is killing me!" Guy said.

"Okay."

Ste closed his eyes and opened the case. There was no loud bang or toxic fume that filled his lungs.

Guy whistled in appreciation. "Nice. Maybe you should go out with Simon again. Imagine what you could get on a date that ends well."

Ste opened his eyes. Laid on velvet padding was a mini-computer tablet. He flipped it over and found an engraving with his name on it.

It was strangely perfect gift for him. His computer notebook was coming to the end of its life and even though it was small it was more cumbersome to carry around than this would be.

Why did Simon buy it? It was an extravagant and unnecessary gift to give after one date.

"Where is the charger?" Guy asked.

"Don't know." He said. He turned it on. "It's got some battery life already."

"Maybe he will give it to you on your date. Like a staggered present. Check to see if he has sent you a message of lurve on it. If he has, hats off. The man is smooth."

"I'm not going to accept it."

"Speak of the devil." Guy said with a smile. "Hi, Simon."

Simon entered the office. "Alright, Guy."

Ste watched as Simon fist pumped his friend before walking up to him.

Did he always wear black?

He smiled down at Ste.

"Hi sexy." He said seductively.

"Hi."

Simon leaned over, cupped his hand behind Ste's head and brought him in for a kiss. Ste pulled away quickly the second their lips met.

What a fucking liberty!

Guy was looking at them as if witnessing a wedding kiss.

Simon grinned. "I was claiming the goodbye kiss from our night since we didn't get to have it."

"Yeah, um, no. We didn't." Ste stammered. He felt his cheeks redden. "What are you doing here? Have you got a meeting with Mr Brady?"

"Mr Brady? So formal." Simon raised an eyebrow as he perched on Ste's desk. "I came to ask you whether you wanted to practice tonight."

"Um. Yeah. Sounds good." It was just judo practice. It didn't need to be anything more. "But you have to take it easy on me."

"You're a brown belt you'll do okay." Simon said.

"I'll try." Ste grinned. "By the way, your present, I can't accept it. It's way too much."

Simon frowned. "What present?"

Guy's mouth formed into a smile of gleeful surprise. "Snap. You've got a secret admirer, Ste!"

Ste showed Simon the mini-computer in his hand. "You didn't give this to me?"

Simon inspected it and ran his fingers over the engraving. His face hardened and Ste saw his hands turn to fists.

Simon took pause before saying. "No. I don't mark possessions but I know someone who does."

He looked at Ste with meaning and gave the tablet back to him.

"Who?" Guy asked.

Ste stood up in rage, pushing his chair across the room. "Excuse me."

He walked out of the office without a further word leaving Guy confused and Walker amused.

{~}

Ste marched towards Brendan's offices with purpose.

He was fuming.

He swiped his way into them and was met by Paul. "Morning, Ste."

"Morning."

"How did you get in?"

"With my swipe card." Ste brandished it. "Why? Is there a problem?"

Paul frowned. "No. It's just that access to these offices is normally restricted to senior management and staff that either work or regularly come here."

Brendan had authorised his swipe access. He must have given Ste different setting to his colleagues.

"Must be an admin mistake." He tried a smile.

Paul smiled back. "Must be. Anyway, welcome back. How are you feeling?"

"Yeah. Okay. Better. Bug. Can I speak to Bren-, Mr. Brady, please?"

Paul looked perplexed. "Is there a particular reason? He doesn't usually take drop-ins."

"I need to tell him something."

"He's busy this morning and you have a meeting with him this afternoon. Can't it wait until then?"

"A meeting?"

"I left a message with Melanie. Didn't she let you know? It is regarding your new additional role within the company."

"Oh." Ste clutched Brendan's IPad-mini close to his chest with its torn black wrapping paper partly covering it and said, "Okay. I'll come back."

"Actually do you have time for a cup of coffee?"

Ste smiled. "No. Sorry. I need to catch up with work. Maybe later when I come back."

"Okay."

The swipe door opened just as Ste was approaching it and Brendan walked in.

They both stopped in their tracks.

"Hi, boss. You're back early." Paul said and stood up behind his desk.

"Yes." Brendan was looking at Ste unwaveringly.

His eyes were questioning the lad's presence in his offices. To Ste's mind, there was nothing about how Brendan was looking at him that suggested strangers even though he was trying hard to act neutral and indifferent.

Ste was trying not to implode with rage and something else that stirred ferociously in his belly.

"We kept the meeting brief and to the point." Brendan said to Paul.

"Nice one. You know Ste or at least of him." Paul said by way of introduction. "You have a meeting with him this afternoon."

"Yes. Steven. One of the IT guys." Brendan said.

Ste saw Brendan clock his open gift in Ste's hand as well as his firm grip on it and his tense expression.

Brendan's brow furrowed.

_Good_. Ste thought. _He knows I'm not happy with him_.

"He wanted to see you if you had a moment. Since you are back early I wondered whether you could accommodate him now and address both his concerns and the agenda for this afternoon's meeting."

"Yes." Brendan's answer was immediate.

Paul raised a surprised eyebrow.

"Thank you." Ste said.

"Come through." Brendan said commandingly. He looked to Paul. "Make sure we are not disturbed."

"No problem." Paul said.

Brendan strode into his office.

Ste swallowed nervously. Into the lion's den. Before he could follow Brendan in Paul grabbed Ste's hand and whispered,

"You must have some kind of magic touch. He doesn't bend his plans for just anyone."

{~}

_Fuck_.

Brendan's heart was thudding in his chest as he walked into his office and took a seat at his desk. Seeing Steven here was like an adrenaline rush but the lad was angry.

Very angry.

Steven walked in, closed the door, walked up to Brendan's desk, tossed the IPad-mini, wrapping, card and case onto it then stood to attention.

"Thanks but no thanks." He said.

That was not the reaction Brendan had been hoping for but he wasn't exactly surprised. Steven had taken any indulgence laid upon him by Brendan with an air is scepticism and distrust; the bonus money, the glasses, the fishing trip, the buying of Doug's paintings, the clothes.

"You don't like it?" Brendan asked.

For some reason this rejection stung more than the others. Perhaps it was because this was given free of their relationship as trick and john.

'_What is he into?' _Cheryl had asked after they had been to the cemetery.

'_He likes computers, I guess.' _He had said. '_And he likes fish. To eat. To catch.'_

'_I don't know, Bren. Maybe you should just talk to him. Words always mean more when it comes to this sort of thing.'_

'_Have you met me?' _

He didn't do words and when he tried to, like at the hospital, they fell on deaf ears. Ste had maintained an air of mistrust.

He had a thought._ 'He used to carry this small beaten up notebook around with him all the time. Looked like it was on its last legs.'_

'_You can't get him a replacement. That's too big a gift. People get intimidated by that kind of stuff.' _Cheryl had said._ 'Look I know you must have been terrified when he ended up in hospital but if you want to show him you care then you just have to tell him.'_

"It's not that I don't like it, Brendan. It's that I won't accept it." Steven said.

Brendan saw the lad look at the original IPad pack, black wrapping paper and tape on the desk.

_Yes. I wrapped it myself. You happy now?_

Brendan picked up his gift. "You fight against everything I give you."

"Because I don't understand why you do it."

Brendan cleared his throat. "You were ill and now you are better. I want you to know that I am happy about that."

"So am I but I don't need a present."

_Nobody needs presents. They are gestures of affection, you dumbass._

Brendan sighed. "No. I suppose you don't. I am sure I'll find a use for it."

He put the gift into a drawer, out of sight and mind then commandingly said, "Please sit."

Once Steven did it looked like he had ants in his pants. He was fidgety. Ill at ease.

Brendan was going to point that out but thought better of it. The lad would only deny it.

"Why didn't you tell me that you knew my real name when you were my client?"

Boom.

Brendan had not seen that question coming. There was little point in lying. Steven must have found evidence somewhere to speak with such certainty now.

His question caused Brendan to recall that weekend. They had reached new heights in each others company both in and out of bed.

Brendan leaned back in his seat. "When someone breathes air at you in the very early hours of the morning, speaking so softly that you are sure that your ears were never meant to hear the words spoken, it doesn't exactly make you feel like you can bring it up afterwards in conversation."

"Oh."

"Why did you tell me?"

"I didn't. I mean I did but I didn't mean to. I don't know why exactly. I guess I never thought you would hear it." Steven said. "Did knowing it change anything for you?"

Brendan thought about it. "Why would it? It's just a name. You were you."

Brendan chose to head back onto solid ground before he got sucked into a quicksand of emotion that would lead him to making a bigger fool of himself than he already had by gift-giving.

He passed over the series of proofs that _Lionel and Swift_ had mocked up for the rebrand. Ste leafed through them slowly.

"_Clover Corp_ is rebranding." Brendan said.

"Is business flagging?"

"Why do you say that?"

"The commonest reasons for rebranding are to shed a negative image, for company mergers, to differentiate a company from competitors or to reboot a flagging business."

Brendan grinned.

_Attaboy. _

_Fucking smart when it came to business. _

_Fucking useless when it came to picking up on Brendan's signals. _

"Business is going fine but the property market has become saturated recently. Everyone is having a go at it. We need to distinguish ourselves from our competition."

Ste nodded.

"This company has always been ahead of the curve. The rebrand will make sure that it stays there. We are working with an advertising firm called _Lionel and Swift_."

Ste seemed to hesitate for a second. "I've heard about them."

"Their proofs are shit. They are not delivering. They are not reading my vision. I need someone who can act as a go between. An interpreter of my thoughts to make sure they do what I ask of them. Depending on how things go we are looking at a few weeks work. You'll be paid for the extra of course."

"That's what you want me to help you to do?" Steven said. He looked worried. "I haven't got the experience."

_God. He is painfully honest._

"You have all the skills I require. This guy will be your main contact there."

Brendan passed over a business card.

Steven seemed to visibly relax when he read it.

"Where do I start?"

Working with the lad was going to be sweet torture. To Brendan seeing the hint of a smile on Steven's face was like taking a leisurely slug of his favourite whiskey.

"I'll tell you my brief in a second. I want you to understand why the boards in front of you aren't up to scratch and what I actually want. Then you need to contact that guy. Keep dialogue open between them and me. And keep me abreast of matters arising."

There was fire in Steven's eye; he was hungry to sink his teeth into the task. "Okay. I can do that."

"I have no doubt."

Steven started to smile back but frowned immediately. It was as if he didn't want to show any emotion to Brendan.

His expression went mask-like as his defensive walls went up.

Brendan recognised it from previous encounters. Steven blanked his emotions when they didn't suit his purpose. It was a shame that Brendan was stubborn. He wanted to smash those walls down.

Ironically he wanted the open guy that he remembered when Ste was under contract.

That man had made Brendan feel like he could be his true self.

"I never asked how you are feeling being back at work."

"I'm fine." Steven said.

"You didn't call me."

"No." Steven shook his head emphatically. "I didn't need to. It weren't necessary."

"Have you spoken to Walker?"

The lad frowned at him.

The defensive wall became a fortress.

"What's that got to do with work?"

"I'm curious."

_I'm jealous. _

"I think it's inappropriate that you are asking me. I thought this was a business meeting."

Brendan felt desperation rise.

Why didn't he have a right to get to know Steven better when other colleagues such as Melanie, Guy, Simon and even his PA, Paul did? Ste found it easy to share with them but impossible to do so with Brendan.

He had coffees with Paul, drinks with Guy and dinner with Walker yet Brendan's presence put him on edge.

It was painful and frustrating. Brendan wanted to shout at him for being so unfair.

"Walker could have been the one to drug you." He said.

It was a low blow but a valid theory.

"You know he didn't. I don't know why you are bringing this up." Ste responded.

"Someone hurt you. I want to know who the fuck it was." Brendan said.

He hadn't realised how angry he was about the fact.

Steven looked taken aback. "You don't have to worry about me. I am not your concern and I can defend myself. I've got it covered."

"What is that supposed to mean? Do you know who might have done this to you?"

"No." Steven said, too quickly. He wouldn't look at him. He was hiding something. "I just mean that I went to the police about it with Doug and it's all under control."

Brendan saw the Goosebumps on Steven's skin and the way the hairs on his forearm stood on end. There was fear in his eyes.

"Bull shit. You are terrified." Brendan remembered the lad's tattoo that said,

_What doesn't kill you makes you stronger_.

"There is something else going on. Now or in your past. You can tell me, Steven."

Steven rose to his feet in a sudden rage.

The defensive fortress had now gone on the attack. It was discharging flaming cannon balls directed at Brendan.

"See! I knew you couldn't do it! You said you would be professional with me but you're not. Right off the bat you bombarded me with personal questions about my life, my dating and my past! And you gave me a gift that was completely unnecessary. You would never do that with any of your other employees."

"Steven-"

"Don't deny it! Do you want to know how it makes me feel? Like you consider me less than they are. Prying into my business like you feel you have the right. Well I'll tell you something. Just because I let you sleep with me for a while don't think that you can buy me off with little gifts! And don't think you own me! Because you know what? You don't! And you never did! I am never going to do what I did for you ever again!"

The young man turned to storm out of the office.

Brendan was lightning-quick.

He got up from his chair and rounded his desk to grip Steven's wrist firmly. He spun the lad around to face him.

Steven's pulse kicked up a notch underneath his fingers as his eyes connected with Brendan's.

"Let me go, Brendan!" Ste forced his hand out of Brendan's grasp.

Brendan put his hands up, palms facing Steven.

"I'm going to go." Steven said.

"I'm sorry. My questions… they were unprofessional." Brendan said.

The air between them delivered Steven's citrusy scent and body heat. The smell was a reminder of a time when Brendan could have had his fill of the Mancunian whenever he wanted.

_I am a despicable man. I loved it when Steven was mine to have whenever I wanted even though his motivation was money. It was so much better than the frostbite I get from his eyes now._

Steven's body was so close to his but the Irishman felt the lad's resistance.

That is how Paul found them; practically chest to chest but not touching. Adrenalin and nerves were running high. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut with a knife.

"I heard loud voices." Brendan's PA said. "Is everything okay?"

Brendan backed away from Steven and went back to his desk. He looked over at Ste to see what he would do; stay or go.

The lad looked to Paul and said. "Yeah. Everything is fine. I got a bit passionate there about… work."

Paul looked like he didn't believe the lie for a second but he had the decency to nod.

"I'm out here if you need, boss." He said and walked out of the room.

Steven returned to his seat. He was wearing his mask again.

After a moment he spoke quietly but determinedly.

"I am sorry for kicking off. You are my boss and that's not cool. I got angry at you for doing something I did. I asked you about knowing my real name." Ste sighed. "It's just that I am finding this really hard if I am honest, making the change from what we were to what we are now."

"You and me both."

"I can understand if you don't want to work with me. I must seem like a nightmare."

"Steven, do you know my reputation in these offices?"

"Yeah. People say you can be a bit moody."

Brendan had to smile. That was putting it mildly. He knew that some people had called him far worse.

Having said that he would never let anyone back chat and there their voice to him the way Steven had. There was no one on God's green earth that he had exercised as much patience with as Steven.

Brendan decided that he had officially gone mad.

"I think we can do this." Brendan said.

Steven's voice sounded raw. It carried emotions that his face wouldn't. "No gifts, no trips to hospitals, no discussions about our private lives."

"No. Just business." Brendan said.

"Just business." Steven repeated. "Agreed?"

If that was the best Brendan was going to get then what choice did he have?

"Agreed."

He cleared his throat and spoke concisely.

"Come on. Let's get back to business. I have another meeting starting in 20 minutes. Make sure to take notes. This is my brief for the _Clover Corp_ rebranding."

{~} {~}{~} {~}{~} {~} {~} {~}{~} {~}{~} {~} {~}{~} {~} {~}{~} {~}

Chapter 22. Untitled.

**Spoiler. Spoiler. Spoiler. Spoiler. Spoiler. Spoiler. Spoiler. Spoiler. Spoiler. Spoiler. Spoiler. Spoiler.**

Ste couldn't move. He was breathless.

Exhausted.

Spent.

He collapsed over the taller man and closed his eyes as he felt strong arms envelop his waist. He rested his head into the crook of the man's neck and inhaled his scent.

"You're fucking incredible." Ste heard whispered into his ear in a low exhausted purr.

He didn't have the energy to reply verbally so he resolved to lightly lick then kiss a nipple.

It was enough. He got a sigh of appreciation in return.

Soon their heart beats began to slow but their body heat continued to radiate keeping them in an afterglow.

Any hesitation or ambivalence he might have had when he came back to this man's hotel room had quickly gone. Even now as he was coming off his climax he felt no regret.

This felt right.

This was the right man for him.

Those arms around his waist became exploratory, tracing up his back leisurely as if every sinew of muscle and overlying skin deserved equal time and attention.

"I love feeling your body against mine." Ste whispered.

A random post-orgasmic shudder unexpectedly ran through him prompting him to laugh softly in surprise. He still felt so turned on and oversensitive. He sighed as the man's hands moved across his shoulders and down his arms until they reached his hands. One of them was lifted so Ste raised his head off the man's chest just enough to watch as their fingers intertwined.

He placed them palm to palm. Even if they hadn't Ste knew that his hands were shorter and slimmer… but no less able.

He suddenly gripped both of the man's hands with his and with surprising force pushed them back onto the bed, pinning the man down.

He got a huff in protest.

"You've still got energy?"

"No. Yes." Ste gave him a small kiss. "A little. You've got to cut back. It's making you unfit."

He moved in for a kiss that took all the time in the world. He would do this all day if he could. Kissing like this got him thinking all manner of impure thoughts. These kisses were the gateway drug to immeasurable pleasures.

Ste passed his lips over the man's jawline. He used tongue and teeth to taste the saltiness and slight artificiality of aftershave. The hairs there were rough and course against his lips over a steady carotid heartbeat.

He murmured. "Your stubble feels like razors."

It wasn't a real complaint. Ste knew that if he waited a day for further growth the hairs would feel softer against his lips and skin.

Somehow his companion's hands had worked themselves free of Ste's restraining ones. They were taking a journey down the dimples on Ste's lower back and over the swell of his buttocks.

They were possessive hands that gripped and kneaded his globes encouraging Ste into slow gyrations despite his exhaustion. He embraced the sensations that the man's body was giving him.

"Who has time to shave…" The man's fingers traced over the circumference where he was still deeply and intimately connected with Ste. "…in this wilderness?"

"You're really into this, aren't you?" Ste moaned and felt a rush of blood to cock and ass as the man thrust into him unhurriedly.

A ferocious kiss led to a low growl and a mischievous reply. "Looks like it. I'd say balls deep."

"Brendan!" Ste punched the man in the arm. "You had to lower the tone!"

Brendan laughed as Ste slowly got off him and lay by his side.

"I was just saying the truth." Brendan said innocently and pulled him back for a kiss. Then he whipped the loaded condom off his cock and tossed it into the room's trash can.

"It's feeling cold now." He said looking at his penis.

Ste smiled and jumped off the bed. "Well then cover it up."

He threw a bed sheet over Brendan's lap but the Irishman pushed it off immediately. "Cover this work of art? No way!"

Ste looked at him from the side of the bed. He was lightly tracing the skin of his stomach, unselfconscious of his naked flushed body.

_I love you._

He was screaming it at the top of his lungs in his mind.

Brendan grinned at him; looking fifty shades of sexy.

"Are you looking at it?" He asked cheekily.

"No! God! Your ego!"

This was the moment where Ste could really fuck things up because he wanted to say,

'I'm looking at you because I love you.'

Doug's words of advice #12-

_You know when you get with someone and its thunderbolts and lightning? It's an amazing feeling but that doesn't mean that __you have to scare the shit out of them by declaring your undying love and asking to move in and meet the family straight away. I'm saying this because I know you, Ste. You're the sort of guy who falls way too hard and loves way too deeply._

Ste got dressed quickly. Top and jeans. On in a flash. He needed to cool down for a minute.

He put on his shoes.

"Where are you going?" Brendan asked lazily, still too tired to move in the bed.

"Back in a sec." Ste said. "I'll fetch us some ice for drinks."

"Call room service." Brendan reached a hand out towards him and made grabby gestures to entice him back to bed.

"We are not supposed to be using room service. Remember. The staff retreat theme is 'Wilderness and Hardship'."

"I'm not sure how ice and liquor feature in wilderness and hardship." Brendan smiled.

Ste folded his arms across his chest. "Do you want me to get ice or not?"

"Yeah, why not. While you're there could you get some food too? Much obliged."

Ste made his way to the door. He had to make sure to be careful that no one saw him as he exited. Being caught coming out of Brendan's room would definitely get tongues wagging; something neither of them needed especially with what had just happened between them and Walker.

"There's one more thing." Brendan said just before Ste opened the door. "Something important."

"What's that?"

"Come here and I'll tell you."

Ste laughed when he was pulled back into bed and manhandled before getting one last kiss to see him on his way.

"Thanks." He said as he got off the bed again. "That was very important."

"I thought so."

Ste was still smiling as he opened the door and walked straight into Paul.

{~} {~}{~} {~}{~} {~} {~} {~}{~} {~}{~} {~} {~}{~} {~} {~}{~} {~}

**Coming up. Coming up. Coming up. Coming up. Coming up. Coming up. Coming up. Coming up.**

_The date of Caden's trial looms. Will Ste need to testify?_

_Ste has his judo date with Walker. Will it develop into more?_

_Benji and Ste try to reconcile their differences but is it too little too late?_

_Doug and Brendan continue to question who is behind the attack against Ste._

_Ste and Brendan try to make their new 'working' relationship work as Ste steps up to his role as advisor._

_Someone is suspicious of the nature of Ste and Brendan's relationship and begins to probe deeper._


	22. Vincent- Part one

_**Dear folks,**_

_**Thank you so much for continuing to read and comment on this story even though the chapters come out at an obscenely slow pace!**_

_**This chapter is split in two. **_

_**Here is part one… a few things are revealed… **_

_**Greetings from South Africa.**_

_**Hugs,**_

_**Chips**_

_**...dedicated to valentina and her kind...you'll know what I mean...**_

**{~}**

"I think we can do this." Brendan said.

"Yeah but no gifts. No trips to hospitals. No discussions about our private lives." Ste's voice sounded raw. It carried emotions that his face wouldn't.

"No. Just business." Brendan said.

"Just business." Ste repeated. "Agreed?"

If that was the best Brendan was going to get then what choice did he have?

"Agreed." He cleared his throat and spoke concisely. "Come on. Let's get back to business. I have another meeting starting in twenty minutes. Make sure to take notes. This is my brief for the _Clover Corp_ rebranding."

Ste went to take out his old beaten up computer notebook from his rucksack until he realised he didn't have his work bag with him.

"Um. Sorry." He felt embarrassed at not coming across prepared and professional. "I don't have anything to take notes with."

"Use this."

Brendan took the I-Pad gift out of the drawer and slid it across the desk towards Ste. The employee rejected it; not looking at it, not picking it up.

_Why is he pushing it? No is no. _

"No." Ste said firmly.

"So fucking proud." Brendan mumbled before tossing him a spiral notepad and pen.

_Damn right_, Ste thought as he wrote in big letters at the head of the first page,

_Meeting number one with Brendan Brady re: Clover Corp Rebranding_

{~}

Brendan established what Steven's aims and objective for the project should be and outlined exactly what was expected of his employee. Steven in turn asked directed, intelligent questions to iron out any points he was unclear on.

Their business language was almost as fluent as it was when Brendan spoke with Walker, Melanie and Phil, all of whom he had worked with for years. It was uncanny.

_He is being so serious_, Brendan thought.

Steven was one hundred percent professional. He carried the air of a soldier, sitting straight and expressionless. He was smartly dressed in the shirt that was recycled from Brendan's dinner party and was wearing the glasses that the CEO had given him. Both were items bought by Paul on Brendan's behalf but Brendan rationalised that they were too generic to be recognised by his PA.

White shirt.

Black horn rim glasses.

Standard.

Not that Brendan was paying attention to what Steven was wearing or thinking about what was under those clothes. He lied to himself that he was successfully pushing aside seeing Steven as a twink he could fuck all day and viewing him as an incredibly competent and able colleague.

He saw the lad as both capable and hot as fuck.

Trying to balance lust and professional respect was not easy.

For example, Brendan realised that Steven lips were moving but he had no idea what they were saying since he stopped listening for a moment in order to eye him up.

_I am going to get done for sexual harassment. _

"It's a crap idea, isn't it?" Steven said suddenly.

"What was that?" Brendan asked.

"Oh, um, no. Nothing. I'm just thinking off the top of my head. Sorry. Let's get back to what you were saying."

"I want to know what you think, Steven. I got distracted for a moment. I'm back in the room now." Brendan's smile was met with a wall of cold so he added, "You might teach those boys at the ad agency a thing or two about marketing."

"There's no need to be sarcastic."

"I wasn't trying to be."

"Oh." Steven paused. "They're good. Lionel and Swift. Like really good."

They got interrupted by a knock on the office door.

Paul tentatively ducked his head into the room.

"Boss," He said quietly as he looked between the two men, "I know that you said to not disturb you but Phil has been waiting out here for the better part of half an hour. He was thinking that if you were still busy he could maybe come back later. What should I tell him?"

Brendan looked at his watch. His brows shot up in disbelief as he realised that his meeting with Steven had grossly overrun.

Where had the time flown? It felt like they had only just begun talking.

"No. I'll see him now." He turned to Steven. "Make sure you schedule another meeting to see me soon. We'll pick up where we left off."

"Okay. Until then I'll make contact with…" Steven paused.

Brendan finished the sentence off for him, smiling at its clumsiness. "… Your contact?"

Steven gave him a hint of a grin but it disappeared as quickly as it came.

"Yeah."

_He isn't enjoying this. He is finding working with me as unpleasant as being my exclusive escort, _Brendan thought._ Well you accepted this job, Steven, so you are stuck with me._

"Paul, pencil Steven in to see me the day after tomorrow." He said.

_What are you trying to do? Wear Steven down until he changes his mind about you and sees you as a good person? You are behaving as if there are no other options out there; fitter, smarter, hotter, more appropriate ones than him. Ones that actually think you are the shit._

"It's as good as done." Paul cleared his throat. "Could Phil come in now?"

Brendan sighed at the prospect of replacing the twinkalicious morsel in front of him with the probably irritated middle aged bear waiting outside.

"I suppose you should." He said.

Paul ushered Phil into the office just as Steven was making his exit. The older man intercepted the lad in the doorway.

"Fuck me! Ste! We finally meet at work!" Phil said with a broad grin on his face as he slapped his hand into the younger man's and gave it a good hearty shake.

"Hiya, Phil."

"How are you settling in?"

"Yeah." Steven replied ambivalently without looking at Brendan.

As far as Brendan was concerned the lad may as well have said,

_It sucks because I can't stand the CEO over there._

"What are you doing here anyway?" Phil asked Steven. "In Brendan's office?"

"He is working on a project with me." Brendan replied on Steven's behalf. "You two know each other?"

Phil patted Ste's back with such force that the lad winced slightly. "I'm sure I told you. Ste's my neighbour."

Brendan did not recall.

Fuck another man with more knowledge of the lad than he did. The list was getting longer by the minute.

"So Paul's just told me you were in hospital recently." Phil said.

Steven smiled at him. "Yeah. Whatever. I had a bug I think. I'm fine now."

_So you can smile at Phillip no problem, _Brendan thought.

"Good. Good. You need to be careful who you mix with now-a-days. Some of these infections people pick up can be lethal." Phillip said seriously. "You've got to watch your back."

Paul let out an uncomfortable laugh. "Bit over dramatic, Phil. Don't scare Ste."

Phil shrugged expressively. "So how are Amy and the kids?"

Steven visibly relaxed when he started talking about them. "Yeah. Good. School. Nursery. Work. The usual. The kids are missing play time with your missus."

"I'm sure Fiona will be happy to baby sit for them on your next date night. You know how much she loves them. It lets her be a mother for a few hours so-"

Brendan was done listening to the neighbourly chit chat.

"Could we get started with our meeting?" He said abruptly to his chief of finance.

"Yeah. Sure." Phil said. "Ste, tell your missus to give Fi a ring whenever."

Steven looked to the floor. "Okay."

An uncomfortable silence followed.

Brendan realised something then. Phil did not know the peculiar dynamic of the family he lived next to. He was unaware that Amy and Steven's relationship was platonic and that Steven was gay.

Paul broke the verbal void.

"Phil, do you want a coffee?"

Phil didn't look at Brendan's PA when he replied,

"Yes. Weak-"

Paul smiled.

"I know. Weak. Black. With a teaspoon of sugar. I'll get it."

"By the way, make sure you put me down for the retreat." Phil told Paul.

"Is your wife coming?" Paul asked.

Phil frowned. "Why wouldn't she?"

"I'll confirm a double room then." Paul looked at Steven. "You coming with me now?"

"Yes." Steven said.

"See you in two days, Steven." Brendan said as the two young men left the office.

Steven's reply came in the form of a click when the door closed behind him.

Phil sat down in the chair Steven vacated.

"Lad was acting strange." He commented.

"Which one?"

"Both." Phil grinned.

Brendan shrugged as if he hadn't noticed.

"So are you going to tell me why you held a meeting with a low level employee? I thought you only took private meetings with senior management?"

"Times change." Brendan said. Before talking business he wanted something to be clarified; something that didn't add up. "How come you live near Steven?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"You take home in one year what he would need to work for several years to earn. Kind of strange that you're neighbours."

"We live in a neighbourhood that _he_ should not be able to afford and we picked it to be near Fiona's parents. It is convenient and safe and it means that we can splurge on other things." Phil said testily. "Is there a reason you are bringing this up?"

"Just curious." Brendan decided that Phil's answer just about made sense so he moved onto company matters. "I've hired him as my advisor for the rebrand. He will be my channel of communication with _Lionel and Swift_. He may get more sense out of them than I have so far."

Phil's jaw dropped and his eyes widened in shock as he pointed at the door.

"Ste?"

"Yes." Brendan confirmed. "Like I have said the rebrand is losing us too much money. We needed an efficient solution."

"No offence. He is a good lad but Ste is not experienced enough." Phil said.

"He will rise to the challenge." Brendan said.

Phil raised an eyebrow. "I am assuming that this is you telling me not asking me."

"You know me so well."

{~}

Ste hovered around Paul while the PA made Phil his coffee in the top floor's staff kitchen.

"So Phil doesn't know you are gay?" Paul said after a moment of silence while diluting percolated coffee with boiling water in a mug.

"I never told you I was either." Ste said.

"True but I suspected you were the first time we met and then you went on that date with Walker. That kind of sealed the deal."

Paul smiled as he stirred sugar into the mug.

"Is going on a date with a guy gay?" Ste smiled back.

Paul laughed. "Yeah. Pretty gay."

"I'll make a note of that."

"So why doesn't Phil know?"

Ste shook his head. "The whole neighbourhood looks at us funny as it is because we are the youngest, poorest and newest family to live there. I didn't want to give Phil or everyone else one more reason to gossip about us."

"I can't be an easy thing to hide."

"It's not like I am out all the time, going to clubs and coming home with glitter in my hair and a pride flag in my hands with some guy."

Ste pushed his glasses up his nose and then folded his arms across his chest.

Paul nodded. "No. I suppose not."

"Anyway, I should go. I have literally done zero work since getting in today."

Ste lightly touched Paul's elbow by way of goodbye and turned to leave.

"Hey, Ste." Paul said as he followed him out of the kitchen. "You know my job. It's really intense and Brendan isn't an easy boss."

"Yeah, I know."

"He, uh, I do stuff for him. You know, non-work related stuff."

Ste clammed up. "Like?"

He immediately wondered whether Brendan had made an arrangement not dissimilar to the contract he had made with Steven.

Paul was looking at him really strangely. It made Ste feel ill at ease.

"Basically, I do more than a normal PA would."

Ste's eyes widen in anticipatory shock.

"Are you sleeping with him?"

Paul nearly spilled the coffee in his hand. "You think we're …? Jesus. No! Nothing against Brendane but I don't swing that way. I told you I've got a girlfriend."

_Guy doesn't believe that._

"I guess what I am trying to say is that you looked really wound up after your meeting with him." Paul said. "And basically, you can come to me if it's getting a little too intense with him."

"I'll be fine." Ste said. "But thanks."

{~}

Ste was trying to get off the phone as he approached the gym where he was due to meet Simon but Guy was having none of it.

"Paul's lying to you. How many time do I have to tell you? My gaydar is never wrong."

"Let's agree to disagree."

"Okay. Let's talk about Mr Brady then and the fact that he chose you over me to work with him."

Ste could hear a smile in Guy's tone which reassured him because he had been feeling guilty that he had been 'promoted' over his equally capable friend.

"Are you sure you aren't upset about that?" Ste asked.

"No! Of course not. You are so much more organised than I am. If you hadn't been around we wouldn't have got anything done for the Kilner project or when we were at _BCV Living_. Ever."

"I should have told Mr Brady no to the job." Ste said. "I mean, I'll probably cock everything up and he'll end up firing me."

"He won't and anyway think of the incentive."

"Oh yeah!" Ste smiled. The extra money would be good.

"I am not talking about the cash. I'm talking about seeing our CEO's sexy face all the time. So hot!"

Ste choked on his spit. "I don't think of him like that!"

"No, of course you don't because you have Simon on your mind."

"Uh. No."

"Uh. Yes. Are you there yet, by the way?"

"Just walking through the doors." Ste said as he pushed through the swing doors of the gym.

"You need to figure out how to play it."

Ste laughed. "I am not going to 'play it' anyway. We are going to spar for an hour and then we'll say bye and that's it."

"You're kidding me right?"

"No!" Ste dropped his voice as he looked around for Simon. "I'm not going to sleep with him, Guy."

"Who said anything about sleeping with him? I'm not asking you to be a man whore."

Ste flinched at his friend's choice of words.

"I'm just saying that this is your opportunity to rinse off your first date with another meal out."

Ste spotted Simon through a door of one of the training rooms, already dressed in his _judogi, _with a black_ obi_ holding his uniform together.

The older man raised a hand in greeting.

Ste whispered into his phone, "I've just seen him. Got to go and don't worry. I won't do anything you wouldn't do."

"That's exactly what I don't want to hear!" Guy wailed. "I am a settled man, Ste. I live through my single friends. While you are having an exciting grope on some exercise mats with a hottie do you know what I'll be doing? In half an hour Ethan is going to get the casserole out of the oven. It's his mum's recipe. We are going to sit in front of the telly and eat it while watching _Emmerdale_ and sharing a bottle of wine. Then I will fall asleep on him. Not in a cute way more like a 'sorry baby did I drool on you and snore in your face way'. Then he will wake me up and I'll take out the rubbish and then we might have quickie before we go to bed if we can be arsed because it is a work night and we are knackered on work nights-"

"Guy." Ste smiled as he interrupted his colleague. He thought that the domesticity Guy described sounded nice.

"Yep?"

"I'd love to hear some more but I've got to go."

"Oh."

"And, by the way, your hubby is cute so don't complain."

"Have you been eyeing up my man?" Guy asked teasingly. "Hands off, Hay! You already have all the gay men we know at the office after you for business or pleasure!"

"I wish!"

"I'll leave you to it but I expect a report of tonight's events tomorrow morning."

"Okay. I will. Bye."

Ste closed his phone as he approached Simon. The Brummie looked hot and menacing in his uniform. Ste thought that, in contrast, when he wore his he looked like he was wearing pyjamas.

"Hi." He said.

Simon grinned. "Hi."

"So let's hope that tonight goes better than last time." Ste grinned.

"True." Simon was sombre when he said, "Did you get to the bottom of what happened?"

"No." Ste said quickly. "Let's not talk about it tonight. It's in police hands now."

He did not want to dissect what happened last time with Simon. Tonight he wanted light relief and an adrenalin rush. Judo would provide.

"I'll get changed." He grinned at Simon. "Be ready to get schooled, Walker."

"Was that a challenge, Hay?" Simon's smile broadened.

Ste shook his head. "That was a promise."

Simon studied him through narrow eyes that were at once challenging and mischievous. The Brummie licked his lips slowly and cracked his knuckles in mock seriousness.

"Oh. It. Is. On. We'll see who comes out on top."

{~}

Ste had no idea how many times Simon threw him onto the mat and pinned him down but it was a lot. It wasn't through lack of effort but Simon was taller, heavier and had years more experience than Ste. It was always going to be an uneven fight.

That didn't stop Ste 'judoing' his socks off. Both men were breathless and sweaty; pulling at each other's uniforms to strike, grapple and throw.

"Fuck!" Simon groaned when Ste managed to somehow get him into a cross-lock. The older man's arm was held in hyperextension. With a smidge more pressure Ste could have had him howling in pain but this was sport not war.

Ste felt a moment of triumph.

He had managed to conquer.

Unfortunately the elation was short lived when Simon got out of his hold and threw him over his shoulder so that Ste landed on his back for the nth time, locked down to the floor by the taller man.

They both laughed.

Ste panted out in exhaustion as he tried to scramble out of Simon's grip. "Shit! I thought I finally had you there!"

Simon looked down at him with animated eyes as his chest heaved against Ste's. "So did I! You are fucking strong for a waif."

"Oi. I'm not a waif!"

Ste tried to get up again but unlike before Simon didn't move away.

The lad settled back into the floor in fatigue.

"You too tired to try to stand up? Have I worn you out?" Simon taunted.

Ste grinned. "No-"

Simon looked around them prompting Ste to do the same. There was no one else in the training room they were in.

The small space suddenly seemed intimate and private, filled with air warmed by body heat and heavy breaths.

Simon gave him a naughty look. "This is an interesting situation we find ourselves in."

"What do you mean?" Ste felt his heart thud.

"I mean that I've wanted to kiss you from the minute you walked into the gym." He moved slightly over Ste, not enough to come over pervy but enough to remind Ste of how physically close they were. He leaned to whisper in Ste's ear while their breaths gradually converted from breathless pants to soft sighs. "And this feels like a good time to."

Ste didn't have a moment to think before Simon kissed him.

He was shocked at how gentle it was; how it lacked the aggression that Simon had demonstrated during their sparring and how at odds it was with the way the man carried himself day to day.

There was no denying that Simon knew what to say and how to look at Ste to make him feel like he cared about him.

When one of Simon's hands loosened Ste's belt and traced over his naked chest, teasing over his nipple ring, a part of the lad recoiled. Another part of him welcomed the attention.

It felt good to be desired especially when there was no ulterior agenda at play.

Ste let go enough to comb his fingers through the man's longish hair. He closed his eyes and let go as the kiss intensified.

He tried to suppress the feeling of betrayal he felt in his soul. It craved someone else so it was screaming foul play. It did not understand that the someone it wanted was an impossible dream. That it had to let go and move on.

Ste tasted mint and cigarettes as his lips and tongue met and blended with Simon's. Simon's hand gripped his thigh firmly and run up it to cup his buttock. He pulled away so that they could catch their breaths.

There was an intensity to his gaze that made Ste flush.

"Look at them baby blues." Simon groaned.

When Simon pushed a hand down Ste's waistband to cup a bare bum cheek then pulled in for another kiss Ste ducked his head away.

"Sorry." He whispered. "I don't think we should be doing that here."

"Doing what?"

Ste felt awkward. "What we were doing or anything else."

He pushed Simon's wandering hands off him and pushed him off to sit up.

Simon smiled slightly. "You're not that kind of guy."

Ste pulled the corners of his _judogi_ together and fastened his _obi_ tightly at his waist.

"I don't normally do that so quickly after meeting someone."

He wasn't really lying.

'In real life', as Ste, he wasn't one to jump into the sack with someone the second they met. As Caden, for money, the rules had been different.

"So you want to take things slow." Simon said. He quickly adjusted what looked like a semi-erection in his pants and then sighed.

"Yeah. I think so."

Simon made a big show of inhaling and exhaling deeply. "I'm not going to lie; it's been a while since a guy has put the brakes on me."

"If it's not your thing then it's cool. We can be friends."

Simon grinned at him. "Hold on. I didn't say that. It's just that it's going to be hard to hang out with you and not want to put the moves on you."

Ste smiled. "Yeah, right!"

"I'm serious!" Simon said. "How long are we talking here? A week? Two?"

Ste shrugged. How was he supposed to know when he would feel ready?

Simon turned pale. "A month?"

Ste laughed.

Walker grinned. "I have a question for you but don't feel pressured to say yes."

"What is it?"

"Every year senior management at _Clover Corp_ gets together for a staff retreat. It's in three weeks and I was wondering whether you wanted to come along."

"You said that only senior management go. Neither of us are."

"I get a special invite as a long-term associate. You could be my plus one."

"This isn't about, you know, us…"

"… finally getting together?" Simon smiled. "Maybe."

{~}

Doug decided that the _Coffee Hut_ was a neutral place for the meeting to take place.

"It's where we first met him." He had said.

Ste was apprehensive. There were a thousand other places that he would rather be than 'talking things out' with Benji. And yet here he was in the busy coffee house sitting opposite Doug's skinny boyfriend feeling just as awkward as the student looked.

"Okay." Doug said with forced light-heartedness. "I'm going to be over there working. You guys talk."

_Fuck_.

"Ste, I'm sorry." Benji said.

"It's okay."

"No. I mean, really. I was acting like a crazy bitch."

Ste was about to deny the fact but there was no arguing with the truth. "You were a bit."

"It's just that you guys have always been so secretive around me. You, Amy and Doug. It made me get all paranoid. You always seemed tighter than you were with me. But now I know why. The secrecy. It all makes sense. Why you wouldn't hang out with us. Why we were always at the sexual health clinic. Why you weren't dating anyone."

"Yeah." Ste felt his cheeks go red.

"So you were a..." Benji pushed his seat in closer to the table and leaned over it to whisper, "... Rent-boy."

"Yes." Ste said. "I am not proud about it, Benji. It felt like the only option at the time and I stopped as soon as I could."

"When?"

"Over a month ago."

"Wow! I... wow." Benji sat back in his chair. He looked genuinely curious when he asked, "How long did you do it for?"

"About a year and three months. No four."

"Anf here I was thinking you were squeaky clean." Benji nodded. "You so have to fill me on what it was like."

"There isn't much to say. There wasn't anything glamorous about it."

Benji grinned. "Oh well. No hard feelings, yeah?"

He reached his hand out to shake Ste's hand.

"Please promise me you are not going to tell anyone about it, Benji." Ste pleaded. "I don't want what I did to affect my kids. And I've got a really decent job now."

"You are Doug's best friend. Why would I try to make things hard for you?"

Ste decided to believe him. What else could he do? He shook his hand and then made an observation.

"You've dyed your hair again."

Benji lightly run his hand through his jet black hair. "Yeah. Fancied another change."

{~}

Brendan took a step into the door of the ground floor of his apartment with Cheryl just behind him.

The room they entered was stuffy from having had no fresh air circulating through it for months. It was exactly as it had been left months ago when Brendan locked it with no intention of ever entering it again.

The minute he walked in he was assaulted by an avalanche of memories. The first, most startling and painful one, was of an unmoving body lying in a heap on the floor.

He shook himself free of that vision and looked beyond it at the fishing gear leaning in the corner, the suit hanging on the handle of the wardrobe and the ridiculously large collection of vinyl written, composed and produced before Vinnie was born. The young man had had an insatiable taste for old music. He had turned Brendan to Motown.

'_Back then artists sang with their hearts about stuff that mattered, Bren. Now it's just shit about bitches and hoes and angst for angst's sake.'_

'_What do you know about bitches, hoes and angst?'_

Vinne smiled. _'A thing or two.'_

"Are you okay?" Cheryl lightly touched her brother's arm.

"Yeah." He croaked out.

"I didn't realise he had so much music."

Brendan walked up to the unmade bed in the centre of the room and picked up a plastic bag that was lying on it from a local record store. He had never understood Vincent's obsession with vinyl. Right up until the end the lad hadn't turned to downloading.

He took out the record and flipped it in his hands. A Jimmy Hendrix record. Old and dog-eared. It had probably cost Vincent an arm and a leg.

He sat down on the bed so she sat down next to him.

Brendan tried to keep his emotions together but they leaked through his words.

"I don't understand."

Cheryl nodded sombrely as she pulled him into her arms. "I don't either."

"He was happy." Brendan said softly as he looked at the fishing gear.

"No, love. No he wasn't. You know that." Cheryl said gently. "He was on medication."

"But it was working. He said so. His mood was good. He told me so. He-"

"We can't go back and re-write history. Remember what the counsellor said. Vinnie was probably hiding how low he really was because he didn't want to hurt us. He didn't want to disappoint us. But he was still depressed, Bren. That is the bottom line. It's no one's fault. We have to get over it and move on." His sister stood up suddenly and said firmly. "Come on let's go. I think this is enough for one day. Let me know if you want to come back in here again and I'll come with you."

{~}

"I am here to see Rohan Gill, please. My name is Ste. Ste Hay. It's about the _Clover Corp_ rebrand." Ste said at the reception desk of _Lionel and Swift_.

He was led up some stairs and down a couple of corridors before getting to a wooden door that simply said,

_Rohan Gill- Senior Writer_

The receptionist knocked on the door and whispered,

"Go on in. Mr Gill is expecting you."

She disappeared down the corridor again without a further word.

Ste checked around him first, sighed with relief that there was no one of concern, before entering the room.

"Good morning. Steven Hay, is that right?" An Asian man said to him from behind an office desk with a welcoming smile on his face. "I'm Rohan."

Ste was about to reply but his words died on his lips.

There was another man in the room with Mr Gill. A man that Ste knew all too well. Someone he had hoped he would avoid when Brendan first mentioned that he wanted Ste to work with _Lionel and Swift_.

"Morning." He muttered in a whisper. He could feel his ears burning up.

Mr Gill stood up. "I am one of the company's senior writers and have been tasked with the _Clover_ _Corp_ project. I hope you don't mind but Mr. Swift was keen to attend this meeting. He, like I, take our work with your company very seriously and he wants to make sure that things run smoothly."

Ste looked apprehensively at the other man in the room.

The man smiled. "Your name is Steven?"

Ste swallowed a lump in his throat and nodded nervously. "Yes. Ste... for short."

"It's going to be a pleasure working with you… Ste."

{~}

Doug and Amy were doing their best friend thing to Ste as they sat together in their living room.

"I'll make you a hot chocolate. You like hot chocolate. And I'll put marshmallows in." Amy said fretfully.

"Yeah, good idea." Doug said before asking Ste, "What do you want to do now? Watch a movie? Go down to the pub? Play some pool?"

"I don't play pool."

Doug laughed nervously. "No. Of course you don't. Game of cards then?"

"Guys!" Ste raised his voice. "Stop please! You are making me feel even more nervous than I already do."

He released a shaky breath.

"Yeah. Sorry. It's just that _we_ are nervous for _you_." Doug said.

Amy nodded. "How are you feeling about tomorrow?"

"Like I can't breathe." Ste confessed.

"Just be cool. Keep to the facts. Don't look at Caden." Amy said.

"And don't get intimidated by what the defence lawyers ask you. You are not the one on trial. Caden is."

"But they will bring all kinds of stuff up about me."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of. You were a father doing what needed to be done for his family. Don't sweat it." Doug said.

Ste nodded but he wasn't as sure as Doug was that a jury would see his prostitution that way.

"I was so sure that I would get another letter and then I wouldn't have to be a witness."

"So did I." Doug said.

Amy said,

"There is still one more day. You never know. This guy has proved that he likes to fly close to the sun. He has posted mail directly into our mail box. He has poisoned you in a restaurant full of people. He thinks he is invincible. He is probably deliberately leaving it until the last minute."

"If that is the case then I'm not going anywhere tonight." Doug said.

Ste looked at his friend thankfully. "Benji okay with you staying over?"

"Yeah. Whatever you guys said to each other a couple of weeks ago has worked. He is totally cool about everything. He'll probably just be studying anyway."

"Cool." Ste looked at his friends and half-heartedly said. "Sleepover. Yey!"

"Two questions." Doug said. "Does that mean we have to pillow fight? And if the answer is yes, can we please get Lee down here because it would be hella funny to see his jiggling man boobs."

{~}

Brendan had heard about Steven's string of dates with Walker. The judo sparring. The gastro pub. The coffee in town. The cinema… the fucking dark, 'no one will notice if I feel you up while their eyes are glued to the screen' cinema. The exhibition of pop art at Liverpool's Tate museum.

That one really got to Brendan. Walker had even less interest in art than Brendan did. The guy was fronting, pure and simple.

There seemed to be no easing off on the 'relationship' despite Brendan efforts to overwork the lad so much that he would be too tired to 'date'.

For every date Walker had with the lad Brendan either made up an excuse for meeting with Steven in the name of work or suggest Steven meet with the boys at _Lionel and Swift_. The lad seemed to be working well with the team at the advertising firm.

At eight in the morning on the dot, while he was waiting for Paul to come and brief him on the events of the day he received a text from Walker that simply read,

_Morning. _

_I forgot to tell you a few weeks ago that I am taking Ste to the staff retreat. _

_Have a nice day, buddy._

Brendan stood up and headed out of his office, nearly running over his PA as he entered the office.

"Morning, Brendan. Are you going somewhere?"

"Congratulations. Your eyes work."

When Paul started to follow him Brendan stopped him.

"I'll be back Paulie-boy. I don't need a shadow."

He bee-lined for Steven's office.

Guy was on his own in the small crammed office, reclining in his chair with his eyes closed. His feet were on his desk and he had earphones in and plugged into his desk computer.

Brendan walked up to him and pulled one of the earphones out of the IT specialist's ear.

"Boo."

Guy yelp in shock. "Shit! Fuck!"

Brendan straightened up.

"Mr Brady, sir." Guy sat up straight in his chair and took his earphones off. "Sorry. It's just that I come in early every day so I start by listening to some music. It chills me out and technically I am not on the clock for another thirty minutes... sorry. Please don't fire me! I love this job."

"Relax. I am not here to fire you." Brendan said calmly. "Melanie has told me good things about you."

Guy sighed with relief. "Oh thank you!"

"I am here to see Steven."

"Steven? Why?"

Brendan stared at him ny way of a reply.

"Oh right. Um. Ste isn't coming in today. He's off."

Brendan could not hide his disappointment.

"Do you have a meeting with him or something?" Guy asked.

"Yes."

It was a white lie. Steven wasn't due to meet with Brendan but he did have a meeting at _Lionel and Swift_.

"I'm surprised he didn't cancel then. His leave has been planned for a few weeks. He's been really secretive about it but he'll definitely be back tomorrow."

Brendan wondered what reason Steven might have to miss work for one day only.

"Thank you." Brendan said. "I'll catch him tomorrow then."

He took out his phone as he headed for the office's door.

"Mr Brady? I know you are dead busy but I just wanted you to know that Ste is one of the hardest working men I have ever had the pleasure of working with and I am sure he will do you proud with the rebranding."

"I know he will."

{~}

Once Brendan gotback to his office he placed a call.

Steven didn't pick up.

A rational part of the Irishman rationalised that the lad was on leave and almost certainly did not fancy receiving a call from his boss. An irrational part of him said that the lad was in danger and was unable to answer the phone.

Walker's voice entered his head then,

'_Have you ever wondered why Vinnie did it? Why he felt there was no other way out? Maybe you should let Ste go before he ends up doing the same thing.'_

He decided to be rational.

The lad was taking time off and away from his overbearing boss.

Who could blame him? Brendan was well aware that his leadership style could do with softening around the edges.

He had another call to make.

A courstesy call. The number rang for long enough for him to think it would be re-directed to voicemail until someone finally picked up.

"Hello. Swift. _Lionel and Swift_."

"It's Brendan Brady calling from _Clover Corp_."

"Mr Brady."

"Brendan. Please."

"Then you should call me Noah. I am not sure whether I should be happy or upset at a personal call from you. You haven't been too pleased with what my team has delivered for the rebrand so far."

"That's not far from the truth but it's not why I am calling. I-"

"I think you'll find that next time they will meet with your exacting standards. I have personally come on board with the project and your advisor, Cad-, Ste has been invaluable at showing us the way."

Brendan frowned. "What did you call him?"

"What?"

"I said what did you call him?"

"Who?"

"My advisor."

Noah laughed.

"I'm sorry. I meet a lot of people. I got his name confused with someone else." He cleared his throat. "What was the reason for your call again?"

Brendan knew what he had heard. Noah Swift had been about to call Steven 'Caden'. That meant that the advertising tycoon knew about Steven's past.

Was Noah Swift an ex-client of Steven's?

Had Steven known that before Brendan had sent him to work with the firm? And if he had, why hadn't Steven felt it important to mention to Brendan?

_Oh, by the way, the head of the firm you are hiring for the rebrand is someone else I used to sleep with for cash._

That was a deliberate omission.

Steven had withheld that fact from Brendan.

Why?

"I just wanted to let your team know that Steven won't make it to your meeting today." Brendan said.

"Is there a reason? I was looking forward to it."

Brendan ended the call without replying to the question.

{~}

Amy and Ste woke up in a tangle of arms and legs on the sofa to find the morning sun shining through the curtains.

They stretched out and faced each other.

"Morning." Amy groaned then yawned.

"Morning." Ste rubbed his eyes and his shoulder. "I can't believe that we fell asleep here. My neck's messed up now."

"Same. Where's Doug?"

"Don't know."

There was a post-it note on the coffee table that said,

_Dropping the kids off at school. I managed to keep the little terrors from waking mummy and daddy up. No need to thank me. _

_xxx Lee _

_P.S. Babe, I'll see you later._

"Lee does have his uses." Ste said with a wry smile.

Amy grinned. "Sometimes."

"Doug!" Ste shouted as he stood up.

Ames looked at him crossly. "Do you want to wake up the neighbours?"

"Phil will be at work and Fiona has probably got her ears plastered to the wall already anyway."

Amy nodded then turned serious. "Are you ready for the big day?"

Doug walked into the room looking dazed. "He doesn't need to be. Ste, dude, sit down."

"Why?"

Doug's expression put Ste on edge.

Amy clocked the brown paper envelope in their friend's hand before Ste did. Her hands flew up to her mouth as she whispered,

"Is that what I think it is?"

Doug passed the envelope over to Ste.

"I woke up when I heard Lee sorting out the kids. I checked the mail after they left and I found this in your post box."

Ste slowly opened the envelope and took out the letter within.

_Oh what a tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive._

_Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock._

_I AM WATCHING YOU_

He passed the letter and envelope to Doug. Although this was the nth letter he had received this one hit harder than the others. Since the poisoning, the threats seemed more real. More plausible.

Ste was terrified.

"This guy is a psycho." Doug said. "Look! Oh my God, Ste. Look at this!"

He handed over a print out of a photo that was still tucked away in the envelope.

Ste instantly recognised the venue in it as _Simon Radley_ at the Chester Grosvenor. The photo showed Ste and Simon eating dinner there a couple of weeks ago on their first date.

"That was the night." Ste stated the obvious as his voice shook in terror. "He was there."

Doug and Amy pulled him into a three-way hug as Ste felt his throat closing up so that he could not breathe.

"It's going to be okay, Ste."

Ste gripped his chest. He felt like it was tightening with every breath he tried to take. "Oh my God! I can't breathe."

"Yes, you can." Amy tried to sound calm but her warm empathetic eyes regarding him with concern. "Take a deep breath in and out."

"I can't."

"You are having a panic attack. Remember you used to get them with Caden." Amy turned to Doug. "Get me a paper bag from the kitchen. I'll ring detective Rollins. She needs to know about this. They need to drop the malicious communications charge against Caden and start looking for the right person."

Doug pulled away.

Just as Amy picked up Ste's phone from his pocket to make the call it rang.

Ste looked over to it automatically. He felt his chest untighten as he saw the name flashing on the screen.

BRENDAN

CALLING

Calm wafted over him.

Unfortunately he was the only one to feel it.

Doug and Amy looked furious.

"What the fuck does he want?"

"Nothing." Ste said and turned his phone off.

{~}

Amy, Doug and Ste exited the police station and headed straight for their regular Moroccan restaurant while Benji worked at the coffee shop.

"The police are useless." Doug said angrily.

"No they are not." Amy protested. "At least Ste didn't need to testify at Caden's trial. There just aren't enough clues about the mail Ste's getting."

"Maybe we can figure it out if we think logically." Doug said.

"What's the point?" Ste asked in defeat. "The police are trained and they haven't got a clue."

"Yeah but we have insider knowledge." Doug said. He put pen to his paper napkin and said, "Who is off the list of possible suspects?"

"Caden." Ste and Amy said in unison.

"And Kevin." Doug wrote down. "You know after the alleyway incident."

"Who else?"

"Walker." Amy said. "Because he couldn't have taken the picture at the restaurant and he brought Ste to hospital when he got spiked."

"Um, Noah, too." Ste said.

"Why him?" Amy asked.

"Basically." He cleared his throat. "I've been working with him for the last couple of weeks. It was super awkward at first but he has been cool about it. He said he is really happy that I got a proper job. He wished me all the best."

"Noah? Noah." Doug asked excitedly.

Ste nodded. "He asked me if I still had the dildo he sent."

Doug had the decency to blush. "It is in a happy home."

"You're kidding right?" Amy looked horrified.

"About which part?" Ste asked. "The working with Noah part or the dildo part?"

"You're telling me that you now work with two ex-clients." She said.

Ste nodded. "Like I said it was awkward at first."

"Ames, Ste escorted close to home and always with men who had money." Doug rationalised. "Now, in his new job, they happen to be the guys Ste is rubbing shoulders with. Say hi to Noah for me, Ste and let's get back to this list."

Ste smiled. Doug was so funny when it came to his crush on Noah.

"So who is still on our list of suspects?" Amy said.

"All the other clients." Doug said.

"Brendan." Amy said firmly.

Ste wanted to protest but there was little point. He was never going to persuade his friends that he did not think Brendan would ever do that to him even after everything that had happened between them.

"And what about his PA? Didn't you say that he was the one who bought the clothes you wore to the dinner party? He may have recognised them on you at work and put two and two together." Amy added.

Ste felt like this was becoming a witch hunt.

"Paul didn't do it. He has been nothing but good to me. Really helpful." He argued.

"What about Guy?" Amy asked.

"As if." Ste countered.

"Why not?"

"Because he is nice. Full stop."

"What about freaky Phil the neighbour?" Doug suggested.

"Why would he want to hurt me?"

"Maybe he found out about the escorting."

"He would have done something by now."

"Not if he enjoys toying around with you which we know this psycho does."

Their food arrived but they had all lost their appetite.

"Ste, the thing is, by definition whoever it is will be 'nice'. Otherwise they wouldn't have been able to do this for as long as they have." Doug said sensibly.

Amy nodded her agreement.

"Why does it have to be someone I know?"

"Because ninety percent of violent crimes are committed by people you know." Doug said soberly.

"Is that true?" Ste asked feeling his heart beat speed up.

"I think I read that somewhere." Amy confirmed.

{~}

It was well into the night when Steven finally answered his call. He sounded half asleep as if Brendan had either roused him or brought him back from the brink of sleep.

"Hi, Mr Brady."

"Call me Brendan."

"I know you have been trying to call me all day. I couldn't answer you before because I was with company."

"You took the day off."

"Yes."

"You had a meeting at Lionel and Swift."

There was a pause before Steven replied, "God, I am so sorry. I have had a lot on my mind. I completely forgot to reschedule it."

"Why did you take the day off?"

"I had a preplanned family thing… for the kids."

"That's not what you told Guy. He says you've been secretive about it."

Steven didn't say anything for a moment. "What are you? The police? I needed to take the time off. I went through the proper channels. I wasn't skiving."

"I didn't think you were." Brendan realised that his concern was coming across as stalker-like behaviour. "I thought it might have to do with how you got admitted into hospital."

"Oh." Another pause. "Um. No. No. It's unrelated. Anyway, if your call is about the meeting with Rohan Gill then I'm sorry. I'll make sure to apologise to Rohan and I'll reschdule a meeting."

"You don't have to apologise to them. I made the call."

Brendan gritted his teeth as jealousy poured through his veins. He took a deep breath before saying,

"I spoke to Noah Swift."

The line seemed to go dead.

"Steven?"

"Yes." The lad squeaked.

"He told me that he has been working on the rebrand with you."

_Stay calm. Hear him out. Don't turn green. It's not a good colour on you._

"I am working with Noah and like five other people." Steven's voice sounded small and distant.

_Noah. _

_NOAH._

_First name terms._

"He is a partner at the firm. One of its co-founders."

"Yes."

"Didn't you think that was an important bit of information to pass onto me?"

"It doesn't affect anything. As long as you get what you want..."

Brendan couldn't help himself. He was consumed by possessiveness.

"What does that mean?" He asked quietly.

"You told me that you wanted the job done right." Steven swallowed hard. "Noah is making sure that happens."

"Noah." Brendan whispered. His jealousy spilled out. "What number is he then?"

"I don't understand what you mean."

Slowly Brendan said, "Client 1? Client two? Client three? Client four? Client five? You fucked him didn't you?"

"Stop." Steven begged over the phone. He finally realised what Brendan was going on about. He was busted.

"Client six. Client seven." Brendan said with an acid tongue. "Feel free to stop me before I hit double figures. Client 8. Client 9..."

He heard a gasp of hurt before Steven put the phone down on him.

{~}

When Doug suggested a night out, Ste thought it was a great idea. He needed distraction.

"Why don't you invite your new mates and your boyfriend?" Doug suggested.

Amy agreed.

"Simon is not my boyfriend." Ste protested.

"You better tell your hip because it is constantly attached to him." Amy said teasingly.

Ste made a sarcastic laugh. "Ha. Not funny."

So the night out happened at _LARGE_, aptly named since it was Chester's biggest gay club. It was an odd mix of people; Ste, Amy, Lee, Doug, Benji, Guy, Ethan, Paul and Simon.

Paul looked suitably awkward; especially since he kept getting eyed and pawed up by various clubbers. The attention was inevitable given that he was the only one not paired up and was looking far too hot for his own good.

There was a reason for this night of course. Doug and Amy were in full swing investigation mode, trying to do detective work while dancing to Kylie Minogue's 'I'm spinning around'.

Ste thought it was a ludicrous idea.

"So where are the kids?" Guys shouted at him over the music while holding his husband's hand.

"Partying at _Club SubZero_." Ste joked while Simon held him from behind, hands wrapped around Ste's waist, pulling him in. "I'm kidding. They are staying with a friend of Amy's."

He gently brushed aside Simon's lips as they played with one of his ear lobes.

"I thought you normally left them with the neighbour." Simon said into his ear.

_The neighbour is on our 'attempted murderer list' so… no._ Ste thought.

"Not this time."

"So Simon's taking you to senior management's staff retreat next week." Guy said.

"Yes." Ste said with a smile. "Before you ask, I'll make sure to get all the gossip on what they get up to when they let their hair down!"

Paul laughed. "Oi! You can't, Ste. What happens in retreat stays in retreat!"

"You're going too?" Guy asked.

"Yeah. I organised the whole thing. I'm like the tour manager." Paul said.

"This is not fair! How come I'm the only one not going?"

"You're not sleeping with the right people." Simon said.

Guy gave him a cheeky grin. "I've heard that neither is Ste… yet!"

"Ey." Walker looked at Ste in affront. "Have you told people that we haven't done it yet?"

Ste smiled. "Only Guy and Doug."

"This is doing nothing for my street cred." Walker said with a wry smile. "It's fine though. The retreat is D-day. Make sure you hold onto something sturdy folks. The earth will move."

Ste grimaced. "That's what you think."

Walker winked. "That's what I know."

His hands caressed Ste's chest slowly and deliberately.

Ste intertwined them with his to stop him.

_How embarrassing. _

_In public. _

"We are going to get going." Guy said looking between Simon and Ste.

"But we only got here like an hour ago." Ste complained.

"I know." His friend smiled. "Thing is Ethan and I thought we missed clubbing and nights out but now that we are here we kind of just want to get home and chill out."

Ethan whispered into Guy's ear.

Guy smiled at him with an expression of love so strong that Ste felt like he was violating it by witnessing it.

Guy's smile was aimed at his husband. "Yeah. Definitely."

"I'll walk out with you." Paul said. "Company's great but this is just not my scene. We can split a taxi."

_This night is going well_, Ste thought as his work friends left. _Everyone was leaving except the investigators and their other halves._

"Maybe we should go too." Simon said to him and turned Ste round to face him.

"I can't. Doug and Amy want a proper night out."

"They won't mind."

He pulled Ste in for a kiss.

The lights and music. The slow dance. Simon's warm hard body against his. The pull of insistent lips. The thrill of hands touching him.

With all those things playing with his senses, Ste almost couldn't feel the excruciating pain and hurt caused by Brendan's humiliation over the phone.

{~}

_**Part 2 to follow…**_


	23. Vincent- Part two

**_Dear Folks,_**

**_I realised that there was a lot that needed to happen between Chapter 22 and the spoiler so Vincent Part 2 is actually Vincent Part 2 and Vincent Part 3!_**

**_Chips x_**

**_{~}_**

_This night is going well_, Ste thought sarcastically as his work friends left. Everyone was leaving except the investigators and their other halves.

"We should go too." Simon said and pulled Ste in for a kiss.

"I can't. Doug and Amy really wanted a proper night out."

"They won't mind."

The lights and music. The slow dance. Simon's warm hard body against his. The pull of his insistent lips. The thrill of his hands touching him.

With all those things playing with his senses, Ste almost couldn't feel the excruciating pain and hurt caused by Brendan's humiliation over the phone.

When they went to say bye to Amy she slurred,

"Where ah Guy and Paul?"

"They've gone." Ste said.

"Ste! You were shupposhd to keep 'em 'ere! I were collecting ev'densshh!" Amy shouted over the noise of the club.

Walker frowned at Ste. "Did she just say evidence?"

"No." Ste lied.

"I swear she said evidence."

"No. I didn't." Amy quickly said. "I think I drank too much."

"You think?" Simon said in amusement.

"Do you want me to get you a glass of water?" Ste asked.

"No. I need t'shpeekt'Doug about plan B…" She teetered off on unsteady feet.

"What's she going on about?" Simon asked with a smile.

Ste hoped his confusion looked convincing. "How am I supposed to know!"

"Whatever." Simon's warmth breath tickled Ste's lobe. "Leave her to it. Let's go. Dancing ain't my thing and I fancy a kebab."

If Ste had been totally sober the thought of eating dodgy processed meat out of a burger van with a dubious health and safety record in the middle of the night would have turned his stomach but he was marinating in alcohol so it sounded like an alright idea.

He smiled and took Simon's hand. "Okay. Let's go."

{~}

"You are a moron."

Cheryl looked at Brendan with disappointment as she took a swig straight out of the bottle of red wine she had brought over to his place.

"Tell me what you really think, sis." Brendan said.

"Honestly, Brendan." She passed the bottle to him. "You are."

He toom a sip of the cheap dark liquid and gave his sister a death glare.

"I'm saying it because I love you, big bro." She smiled back.

"Sounds like it." He said. The alcohol must have had the effect of loosening his tongue because he confessed,

"All I want is to be able to work with him without feeling-"

_Rejected. _

_Hated._

"Heartbroken?" Cheryl ventured.

There was something about how Cheryl interpreted Brendan's predicament with his employee that pissed him off no end.

"No." He grimaced. What gave her the idea that he was heartbroken.

Cheryl had visions of Steven and him in a trite and sappy romance like the ones in the books she slobbered over. The ones where no matter how unlikely there was always a happy ending.

What a load of bollocks.

"Yes." She insisted.

"Jesus." He mumbled. "Do I look heartbroken to you? This is about business. The way he is right now with me, he barely talks to me. He can't stand being with me. He is keeping things from me."

_Like the fact that I'm pretty sure Noah Swift was a client of his and now they work together. I pushed them together in the name of business and now I keep thinking about what they did and what they could potentially do with one another._

_It's like a recurring nightmare._

"What things is he keeping from you?"

"Things. Important things."

"Right." Cheryl said as she looked at the mini-tablet on the coffee table in front of them. "Doesn't explain why you wanted to give him this."

Brendan drank more of the wine to avoid telling his sister where to shove her opinion.

"I'm binning this. Tastes shit." He mumbled.

He got up off the white couch and crossed the living room to the bar. "I'll get us a proper bottle."

He tossed his sister's into a bin on his way.

"That one was fine." Chez said with a lazy smile.

"You don't have to make do with middle of the range, sis." Brendan argued. "I'm here."

"I know but I don't need you throwing money at me. I can cope on my own."

"You're sounding like Steven." Brendan mumbled to himself as he peered at the selection of wine in front of him.

"What?"

"Nothing." He picked up a bottle. "Pinot noir?"

"Is it a red?"

"Yes." Brendan rolled his eyes heaven-ward.

"Does it taste nice?"

"Yes."

"Then yeah. Bring it."

He opened it, walked back to join his sister on the couch and gave her the bottle.

"Let it breathe, sis."

She ignored him and took a few sips.

"So he's with Simon now?"

"Are we still on that subject?" Brendan asked tiredly.

"Yes."

"You'd have to ask him."

Cheryl let her head flop onto the backrest of the couch.

"You know I can't. I don't know him." She sighed exaggeratedly. "It's just that I thought that you'd found someone who was willing to put up with your shit."

She gave him a big smile.

"Just because you're my little sister doesn't mean I won't give you a Chinese burn."

Cheryl smiled. "And he actually seemed alright. He could have been my new gay best friend. See what you've ruined."

"I'm sorry I messed up your fag hag plans."

"You know what bro?"

"What?"

"You aren't the most easy-going man in the world. You don't say much. You don't socialise. You hate people."

"Thanks."

"But you are also the sweetest man I know when you allow people a peek at the real you." She gave him a wry smile. "You're loyal and protective. I thought from the way Steven looked at you he could see that."

"Yeah, well. You're wrong. He thinks I'm a twat."

"This chat's too heavy for a Friday night." Cheryl stood up shakily. "Let's do something fun. Like 'going out' fun."

Brendan looked at his watch.

Now that was the first thing his sister had said all evening that he hadn't minded hearing.

{~}

It wasn't the first time that Ste found himself making out with Simon on his hotel bed but it was already the most intense.

He felt the Brummie's insistent hands through his jacket…

And scarf…

And gloves…

And hat.

"This no sex thing. I get it…" Simon groaned as he flicked a tongue over Ste's neck and tugged at his scarf. "But come on with the layers."

"You didn't give me a chance to take them off." Ste giggled as he took off his outerwear with Simon's help. "Better?"

"You're still wearing clothes so not really."

Ste grinned at him.

Simon rolled him over so that Ste was lying under him.

"You're such a fucking tease." The taller man whispered before tracing his lips down Ste's jaw. "Stay tonight."

Seriously.

Fervently.

"I can't." Ste said.

Simon lifted Ste's shirt and kissed his bare navel. "What's stopping you?"

Ste felt a flickering tongue. Light suction.

He placed his hands on Simon's cheeks and pulled him back up so that they could make eye contact.

"We've talked about this."

"You're not ready." Simon delved in for a kiss that was passionate, hot and consuming. "Bullshit."

Ste pushed him away.

"Has this got to do with Brendan?" The Brummie said in annoyance.

Ste sat up.

"This is not about him." Ste lied.

"Then I don't see what the problem is." Simon kissed Ste's forehead, then his nose, then his lips. "Give me a chance to show you that staying is the best thing you could do."

Ste felt his resolve weakening. Simon actually wanted him.

Brendan didn't. So what the fuck was Ste's problem?

Simon made sense.

{~}

"Bit of a busman's holiday, sis." Brendan mumbled as they entered _Large_.

"Oh! There are John Paul and George!" Cheryl shouted excitedly. "Come, Bren!"

"They're your mates not mine."

Cheryl frowned for a second. "Fine! Get us drinks then!"

She shimmied towards the dance floor without waiting for a reply so Brendan headed for the bar.

On his way staff members nodded in greeting to him. "Good evening, Mr Brady."

Someone bumped into him accidentally.

"Sorry."

Brendan ignored the apology as he continued his journey to the bar.

"Um, excuse me." The guy who bumped into Brendan poked at his ribs.

He was a slightly effeminate, thin young man. _Young_ being the operative word. Brendan hoped that security weren't being slack at the door because this kid definitely looked like he needed his ID checking.

Brendan came to what he thought was a logical conclusion for the attention.

"I'm not interested." He said.

"What?" The lad said.

Brendan leaned in and raised his voice. "I said I'm not interested in jail bait."

A smile appeared. "I'm nineteen."

"Answer is still no."

"And I'm in a relationship so..."

"I don't fancy a three-way." Brendan muttered then made a move to leave.

The lad grabbed his elbow.

"I mean. That's not why…" Self-conscious laugh. "Let me start again. I don't know if you remember me. I saw you at an art exhibition on the other side of town a few months ago."

Brendan reassessed the lad and made the connection. He had seen this kid before but there was something different about him.

His hair. It had been blond; Scandinavian blond. Now it was jet black.

"I wanted to say thank you. You bought some of my boyfriend's paintings. You don't understand how much that means to us."

So that was who the kid was.

"Douglas?" Brendan said.

"Yes!" Benji said enthusiastically then he added with pride, "You remember his work."

How could Brendan forget? That purchase had put his sex contract with Steven into a tailspin and resulted in the dissolution of their deal.

"I bought his work. All of it so yes." Brendan said.

"No you didn't. Some of the pieces are still at the gallery."

"I donated them. Call it an advertisement of your boyfriend's work. To whet the appetites of prospective commisioners of his work."

"Oh!" Benji's face registered surprise. "We didn't know that. That's really sweet of you. Thank you."

"You cane let go now." Brendan said and pointedly looked at where the kid still had him in his hold.

The kid blinked slowly then said,

"Oh yeah sorry." He let go of the Irishman. "May I ask why have you helped Dougie out so much?"

Brendan was starting to think the lad was a bit of a nuisance.

"Call it an impulse buy." He said. "Nothing personal. I wouldn't get emotional."

"Do you like Doug's work?"

"Sure."

_Not really. This wasn't about him. _

"Good." Benji gave him a relieved smile. "Because here I was thinking that you only bought his paintings to further a business deal and impress your whore."

Brendan wasn't sure he had heard right over the music.

"What did you say?" Brendan asked.

"I think you heard me okay the first time. Oh look. Dougie's come out of the bog!" Benji smiled. "Gotta go."

Brendan watched as the lad skipped off.

What.

The.

Fuck?

There was something off about this Benji. Something that put Brendan on edge and caused a ripple of uneasiness in Brendan. The lad knew stuff about the Kilner project and about Brendan's elicit relationship with Steven.

This Benji kid was sinister.

The CEO walked up to the VIP room of the club which had a good view of the dance floor below. He looked into the crowd to scope Benji out and figure him out.

The club's manager approached him.

"Brendan! I didn't know you were coming out tonight."

"I was dragged out by my sister."

"Well. I've got good news for you. Business is booming. These punters haven't heard that there's a recession so they're spending like crazy. We'll see a tidy profit after the winter months."

"Didn't really come out to talk shop, Bradley." Brendan lifted an eyebrow.

"No. Of course not."

"Cheryl's downstairs with some friends. Could you get some booze to them?"

"Sure. Did you want me to get your booth prepared?"

"Why not."

"Would you like some company?" Bradley asked with a sly smile.

Brendan pointed into the crowd. "You see that kid? Jet black hair. Red t-shirt."

The manager nodded. "I wouldn't have guessed he was your type."

"He's not." Brendan said. "I need you to find out what you can about him."

"Did you see him doing something suspicious?"

"You could say that."

"I'll get him barred."

"That's not necessary. I just need any information you can get on him."

"Not a problem."

"Good." Brendan continued to scan the crowd. His eyes landed on a brown haired man. For a second Brendan's eyes deceived him into thinking it was Steven. A trick of the light.

A cruel trick.

Bradley followed his gaze. "White t-shirt? By the speakers?"

Brendan nodded.

"I'll ask go and ask him whether he would like to join you for the evening."

{~}

Ste was woken up by his phone beeping. His head felt sore as he checked the incoming message.

_Come 2 CH 4 post-mortem and to see the kids if you can prise urself away from Simon!_

_A xxx_

Simon was still asleep next to him so Ste quietly got out of bed and got dressed. He took one last look at the man.

"Hey." Simon's sleepy eyes opened and stared at him. "You trying to sneak off while I'm asleep?"

Ste gave him a small smile. "I didn't want to wake you. Ames has just texted saying that they're at the _Coffee Hut_ so."

Simon tiredly stretched his whole body out. "Tell them you're busy."

"I want to see my kids." Ste leaned over and gave him a brief kiss. "I'll see you on Friday for _Wilderness and Hardship_."

"And fireworks."

"Always with sex on your mind."

{~}

By the time Ste got to the coffee shop Doug and Amy were already nursing _grande_ coffees and heavy heads. Leah was colouring in and Lucas was sleeping face down on the table at an adjacent table.

Benji was working at the counter and gave Ste a wave.

"Alright, dirty stop out!" Amy said with a broad grin as Ste collapsed into a chair.

"Hi." He looked sheepishly at his friends before leaning over to give his daughter a kiss on her forehead.

"Morning, monster munch."

"Your clothes are all crumpled, daddy!" Leah pointed out.

Doug ruffled the little girl's hair and told her sombrely, "Daddy's just done a walk of shame, darling."

"Doug!" Amy and Ste admonished.

"What's a walk of shame?" Leah asked.

"It's a type of walk." Ste said. "A walk that you, my beautiful princess, will never ever do."

Benji came up to them and gave Ste a steaming cup of white coffee. Ste took it off him gratefully.

"Thanks. Just what the doctor ordered"

"So did you guys...?" Doug interlinked his fingers together and raised his eyebrows with meaning at Ste.

"No!" Ste said then changed the subject. "So what happened after I left last night?"

Doug smiled. "Some guy hit on Benji."

"Really?"

Doug nodded. "A tall dark handsome type. Probably hung. How can I compete?"

"There is no competition, baby." Benji said sweetly and draped a hand on his boyfriend's shoulder. "You're all the man I need."

"So sweet." Doug said and brought Benji in for a peck on the lips.

"So sickening." Ste said with humour. "Weren't you jealous?"

"Not really. If you think about it, it is the highest type of compliment."

"That's a really messed up way to look at it, Doug." Ste said.

"That's what I told him." Benji said. "Normal boyfriends would get jealous."

"Guys can we concentrate on why we are here." Amy said, interrupting them.

"Why are we here?" Ste asked then practically finished his coffee in one go.

"To figure out who's after you. Duh."

"Go on then."Ste decided to humour them. "What are your latest theories now that you've met my work mates?"

"It's not Guy. You didn't know each other at all until you started working at _BCV Living_." Amy said. "It's a stretch to assume he was sending you that mail before you even met for the first time."

"But Paul is a different matter." Doug said.

"I met Paul for the first timw weeks after meeting Guy." Ste argued.

"True but he knew of your existence well before you met." Doug said. "He was Brendan's PA while you two were..." He looked over at Leah who was thankfully engrossed in her colouring in. "...doing... stuff together. He probably knows more than he is letting on about you and Brendan and your history."

"I doubt that." Ste said.

Not once had Paul hinted that he knew that Ste had once been Brendan's rent-boy.

"Doug has a point." Amy said. "You have said yourself that Paul is smart and really good at what he does. He could have so easily put two and two together."

She sighed. "It would be such a shame if it was him though. He is too pretty for prison."

"I know right!" Doug said with a smile.

"So hot!" Amy said.

"SO! Hot!" Doug repeated. Then quickly added to Benji. "But not as hot as you, baby!"

"You're lucky I'm not the jealous type either." Benji smiled. Then his expression became pensive. "Hey. What about Brendan?"

Ste frowned. "What about him?"

"He seems like an obvious suspect to me." Benji said. "The letters started coming you way not long after you took him up as a client."

"So?"

"Don't you think that's more than just coincidence? And while we are talking unlikely coincidences isn't it strange that you ended up working for his corporation?"

"Not really. I applied for the job."

"But think about it. Brendan must have the pick of prospective men and employees to be with and work with and yet he chose an ordinary bloke with little or no qualifications as both fuck-buddy and work advisor."

"Ste's not ordinary." Doug protested. "And I hate the word fuckbuddy."

"Is it one word or two?" Amy asked.

"Two." Benji said.

"I always thought it was one." Doug said in surprise.

"Anyway the point i am trying to make is that Brendan is a good-looking bloke. Enigmatic. Intelligent. Head of a multinational corporation. His interest in Ste both in and out of work doesn't make sense. You know what I mean, Ste?" Benji said softly. "I don't mean it as an offense."

Ste nodded slowly. Benji was right. He had questioned Brendan's choice to hire him on numerous occasions. He had also come to the realisation that he would never be someone that Brendan would consider as more than a fuckbuddy or fuck buddy.

"I know what you are saying but trust me, he is not the one." Ste said simply. "He wouldn't."

"Think about means motive and opportunity. He definitely has the means." Benji said. "And none of us really know him. He might have motive; something dodgy in his past that is making him behave this way now."

"He is not a psycho." Ste said.

Doug looked at him meaningfully. "You can't be rational when it comes to him."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Amy asked.

"It means that..." Doug still thought that Ste was lenient towards Brendan because he fancied the pants off the CEO. The American came up with a lie to tell Amy.

"Ste is always loyal to those around him. He always tried to see the best in them even when they are evil monsters."

Ste studied his nails.

He knew exactly who Doug was referring to.

{~}

Brendan's hook up had the decency to slither out of the apartment in the early hours of the morning while Brendan pretended to be asleep.

The minute he heard the door to the apartment close the Irishman got out of bed, navigated around discarded condoms and went to the have a shower.

He scrubbed himself clean trying to eradicate memories of the night and resolved that he would spend the rest of the weekend locked up in his office upstairs. That would be a far more productive form of escapism than getting pissed and shagging random strangers.

{~}

Ste hugged Noah then took a seat opposite him in the man's office at _Lionel and Swift._

Noah had a glint in his eye. "So how was your weekend, handsome?"

"Yeah. Good."

"Let me guess. Changing nappies and warming up milk bottles?"

"My kids are three and six years old now. They're fully potty trained and eating solid food."

Noah looked at Ste as if he was talking in a foreign language. "I still can't get over the fact that you have mini yous who call you dad."

"Daddy." Ste corrected.

Noah laughed. "It's like being told Santa doesn't exist!"

"Oi!"

"I mean after everything we did together, you know, picturing you reading bed time stories and plaiting hair... it's too much." Noah grinned.

"Yeah. I was living a double life, weren't I?" Ste smiled.

Even though the circumstances were unconventional, Noah had become someone Ste felt he could talk to. Like a confidante. He was easy to speak to and impartial.

He was the only person who could begin to understand the complexity of the relationship Ste had with Brendan because he too was an ex-john who had become a work colleague.

"Don't we all at some point in our lives." Noah said.

"Doug and Amy are still playing detectives. They're investigating some mates of mine from work. They think it might be one of them."

"They should leave it to the police."

"That's what I've been telling them but they won't listen."

"How is it going with your boyfriend?" Noah asked.

"Simon?" Ste asked. "He's not a boyfriend."

Noah frowned. "He's not?"

"I mean, we are seeing how things go. Did I tell you that he's taking me to the corporation's annual retreat this weekend?"

"Yes."

"I can't wait, me. It'll be ace." Ste said.

Noah looked at him with scepticism.

Ste cleared his throat.

"What are you doing with Simon if he isn't your boyfriend?"

"I just said. Seeing where things go."

"No. You're not like that. You're one of those one hundred percent guys."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you go all in with a relationship or you don't go in at all."

"How do you know that?"

"You never dated properly while you were escorting."

"So what if I didn't?"

"That's my point. When you go out with someone you want it to be just you and him. No one else. It's how you are wired."

Ste studied his fingers. He wanted to deny it but he couldn't because it was true.

"So what I'm thinking is that you aren't all in with Simon because if you were you would get all fuzzy about me calling him your boyfriend."

Ste shrugged. It was true that he didn't feel an immediate spark when Noah called Simon Ste's boyfriend but their was another reason why he didn't like the term.

A much darker reason.

"Did Brendan call you last week?"

If Noah was surprised at the the change in subject and the mention of the CEO's name he did not show it.

"Yes. To tell me that you wouldn't be coming to our meeting." Noah paused. "He's a charmer."

That sounded sarcastic.

"He found out about us I think." Ste said. He couldn't make eye contact with Noah. He felt humiliated and embarrassed. "I don't know how."

"It's my fault. I started referring to you as Caden. I tried to correct my mistake but it was too late." Noah said. "Why? Has he made you feel shit about it?"

"It doesn't matter."

"He has. Fucking twat. You have nothing to feel shit about, Ste. You know that, right? What did he expect? That he was the only one you escorted for?" Noah said emphatically. "Jesus. He's probably just jealous and got a little too into you."

"It's not jealousy. It's possessiveness."

"What's the difference?"

"Jealousy happens when you care for someone too much. Possessiveness is when you think you own someone." Ste shrugged.

"Maybe he actually cares about you."

Ste laughed.

That was funny.

"What?" Noah asked. "That's possible."

Brendan? Caring about him? Like really caring?

"Not Brendan. He's not that kind of guy. He told me he doesn't do boyfriends." Ste said. "And anyway, why am I listening to a man who thinks a dildo is a nice present to give?"

"Stop acting like you didn't like it and don't enjoy it." Noah said with a wink.

"I don't!" Ste said indignantly. "But I have a friend who it talking good care of it."

"You gave a cast of my penis to a friend of yours?"

"Yep."

Noah smiled. "You can tell him that if he wants to try the real thing then-"

"Who said anything about it being a 'he'?"

"It isn't?"

"It is!"

There was a knock on the door. The ad men and women assigned to the _Clover Corp_ rebrand filed into Noah's office, greeted their boss and Ste.

"Take a seat guys." Noah said. "I'm just finishing some private business with Ste."

Ste smiled. "My friend won't be able to take you up on your generous offer at the moment since he is, uh, locked into another contract." Ste said referring to Doug and his saccharine relationship with Benji.

"Is he looking to add to what he already has?"

Ste rolled his eyes. "He is happy with what he has at the moment but I'll let you know if he changes his mind."

Rohan looked curious. "Anything we can help with?"

"No!" Ste and Noah said and then laughed together.

"No. Heaven forbid!" Noah said. "Let's get to work now that you're all here."

Ste took out his old notebook.

"We have to make sure that we have something to give Ste that will make Brendan Brady weep with joy." Noah said.

He gave Ste a wink.

{~}

Brendan was staring blankly at the monitor of his desktop computer while his mind was churning over with statements of apology.

"_I'm sorry, Steven. I'm an eejit."_

"_I was jealous and I took it out on you. I'm sorry. Forgive me."_

"_I don't know why you are so upset, Steven. You have made it clear you don't care what I think anyway."_

"_Take the I-pad. It explains everything. How I feel."_

"_Steven, I am bad with words but I wanted to say that first and foremost I am sorry and secondly I think you are the sexiest man I know. That's all. Back to work …"_

"_Your lips are so fucking kissable. You tease me with your presence... __And I am sorry."_

"Brendan?"

Brendan looked up to see Paul's head tucked through his office door.

"Yep."

"He's here."

"Let him in."

Steven walked in; head held high, old busted computer notebook tucked under his right armpit, rebrand proofs tucked under the other.

"Please sit down." Brendan said.

Steven ignored Brendan's request and walked up to the display easel to place the proofs on it. He stood next to them.

"I was at _Lionel and Swift_ this morning." He said and squared his shoulders. "And we've come up with more ideas that I think you'll love…"

"Before you show me I have something to say." Brendan cleared his throat.

"If it's about what you said on the phone to me the other day, it's fine." Ste said without emotion. "Let's move on."

"It was unforgivable and I didn't mean it, Steven."

"Yes you did but that's okay." Steven said. "I have a mountain of work to get through on my desk so can we get on with this please?"

The lad was being cold but that was to be expected. He had his guard up.

"I'm trying to say I'm sorry." Brendan said sincerely. "No one should ever speak to you the way I did. I respect you. You impress me every day. There aren't many people I can say that about. That is what I wanted to say."

Steven didn't say anything for a while. He was stock still for a while before turning away from Brendan and flipping over the first proof to show the image it held as if he hadn't heard the CEO's words.

"So as I was saying I met up with the team and gave them your feedback from our last meeting. They was optimistic that we was headed in the right direction with your vision." He said evenly. "I am not saying that this is the final product but I think that with minor alterations what you are looking at here is the new look of _Clover Corp_. What do you think and what should I tell them?"

{~}

"Brendan, are you okay?" Paul said tentatively as he walked into the office.

_Do I look okay?_

Brendan looked up at his PA after taking his head out of his hands.

_Steven literally acted like he was speaking to a brick wall; distant, unemotional, aloof._

"What do you want, Paulie-boy?" Brendan said tiredly.

"You haven't come out of your office in a while."

"I'm working."

"Were the rebrand proofs Ste showed you a disappointment again?" Paul said.

"No. They were fine." Brendan said.

That was an understatement because they had been more than he could have hoped for.

"You know, I was just thinking … about the retreat this weekend."

"I'm not going."

"It's a good laugh. You might enjoy it."

_With Ste and Walker there together? Fawning over and pawing at each other? __No, thank you._

Brendan pointed at his own lips. "It's called English. Listen. I'm not going."

"Okay, but just in case, I have a spare room booked if you change your mind." Paul managed to squeeze out before shutting the door to avoid his boss's wrath.

{~}

Ste was singing along to the CD he had popped into the CD player in Simon's car. He was giving it some attitude as he belted out,

"Said he's going back to a simpler place in time! Oh yeah he is…. And I'll be with him, on that midnight train to Georgia. Ooh! Ooh! I'd rather live in his world, than live without him in mine…"

Simon glanced over at him as he powered down the motor way heading north.

"Didn't know you were into this type of music."

"I love it!" Ste said while bopping his head. "Do you know this song?"

Simon shook his head.

"It's called Midnight Train to Georgia. It's by Gladys Knight and the Pips."

"The Pips?"

"Yeah. They were her all male trio of backing singers. Gladys, she bucked the trend, right. They were the only male Motown backing singers. The rest were all girls. They used to dress like the business and had these wicked choreographed dance moves like this." Ste tried to demonstrate as much as he could while strapped in his car seat. "Basically they were class."

Simon gave him an amused smile. "How does a skinny white Manc boy develop such a taste for Motown?"

"My granddad were into it and I would listen to it when I went to see him in Liverpool." Ste fell back into his seat as Simon concentrated on the road. "I can't wait until we get to Scotland."

"Goodbye Cheshire. Hello Perthshire." Simon said with a smile.

Ste looked out of his window at the dawn and the scanty motorway traffic.

"I need the distraction, me." He sighed heavily. Getting away from Chester meant getting away from the letters and Brendan.

What a relief.

Simon's smile grew. "I can think of a thing or two that might distract."

"The team building exercises?" Ste said.

Simon looked at him with a smile. "You're so good at playing innocent, aren't you?"

Ste took his companion's free hand in his own. "I don't play at anything."

Simon gave him a sly smile. "That's good to hear."

Ste blushed. He let go of Simon's hand, turned up the music and went back to looking at the passing scenery.

"Oh look. The sign said we've got another 120 miles to go."

{~}

There was hardly any point going to work on Friday but Brendan turned up out of habit.

Today was day one of the retreat which meant that a large number of his senior management were at Loch Earn preparing for the rigors of the _Wilderness and Hardship_ weekend. The top floor of _Clover Corp_ would be virtually empty all day.

A timid looking middle aged woman was sitting at Paul's desk.

"Morning, Mr Brady."

"Morning."

She was Phil Campbell's PA.

Brendan raised a curious eyebrow. "What are you doing here, Florence?"

"Paul suggested I come and assist you today since both he and Phil are at the retreat and the two of us are at loose ends."

_Clever boy_, Brendan thought.

Florence followed Brendan into his office.

"I've made you a coffee. Black with two sugars."

Brendan took a seat and accepted the mug. "Look. I'll be honest. I'm not sure I'll need you. Paul left my timetable clear for the whole day."

"That's not what he told me."

"Beg your pardon."

"You have a meeting at ten."

"No I don't."

"I don't mean to argue but it says it here." Florence pointed at the tablet in her hand. "Mr Swift. Ten o'clock."

Just hearing the name pissed Brendan off.

"I'm sorry. Did you say Noah Swift?"

"Yes."

{~}

Loch Earn ranked highly as one of the most beautiful places Ste had ever seen.

As Simon's car drove up to the lake view hotel they were going to be staying at Ste marvelled at the lake's calm surface which reflected gentle morning rays and surrounding greenery.

The sound of the natural fauna was a beautiful symphony that Ste had forgotten after years of city existence. A raft of ducks took to the water quaking and disturbing the otherwise peacful water.

The peer was just outside the hotel; a simple wooden deck with no rails that extended out into the water before stopping abruptly.

If the weather had been warmer Ste would have loved to dive off the end.

"Paul's outdone himself this year." Simon said as they parked.

"He told me he brought his girlfriend here last summer and thought it would be the perfect spot for the retreat." Ste said.

They got out of the car and Ste stretched himself out while looking at the other parked cars. "Looks like we aren't the first to get here."

While the hotel was not five star it was dangerously close; a far cry from 'wilderness and hardship'. Ste took in the interior design of the stablishment as they walked to the reception desk.

"Hi." Simon said to the receptionist.

"Hello." She said.

"We have a reservation. Walker. For the _Clover Corp_ retreat."

She looked at her computer. "There are quite a few of you! All our chalets have been taken up by your company this weekend so you'll know your neighbours."

That was not a good thing as far as Ste was concerned. He did not need Mel, Paul or Phil knowing what he was up to with Simon.

What would his neighbour think of him?

Ste would have to come clean to Paul about being gay, the true nature of his relationship with Amy and his budding one with Simon.

"Your chalet has one of the best views of the lake." The receptionist said. "Although I'm not sure how much opportunity you'll have to enjoy it. Your schedule is pretty full."

"I'm sure we'll catch a moment or two." Simon grinned.

"Here you go." She said as she slipped two key cards over to them. "Breakfast is from seven to ten. We have a fully stocked bar through there and our restaurant through there. The other memebers of your group are in the Opium room. Paul has asked me to tell you to get dressed for rambling and join them as soon as possible."

Simon looked at Ste and smiled. "Such a slave driver that Paul."

"You'll love it here." The receptionist said. "Everyone says that they have such a great time that they wish they never had to leave."

{~}

Paul greeted Ste and Simon when they walked into the Opium room. The room was full. It was intimidating. Ste was acutely aware that he was the most junior staff member there.

There were COOs, CFOs, CTOs and CVOs.

No CEO at least. That was a relief. Brendan, the most important member of the corporation, was a no show.

"Are you guys all settled in?" Paul asked.

"Kind of." Ste nodded.

"Then I'll let the facilitators know that we can get started."

Ste looked around. "Um. Where are the partners and spouses?"

Paul explained. "Actually my bird couldn't make it."

"Really?" Ste looked disappointed. He had been dying to meet Paul's girlfriend after all these months.

"Yeah. She has a hen do this weekend down south. I'm gutted but yeah." Paul shrugged as if that was life.

"What about the other partners?" Ste asked looking around.

"They don't take part in the team building activities. They get to relax and enjoy the amenities. In the evening everyone catches up. But since you are staff everyone was fine with you taking part."

"I don't have to." Ste said, feeling well out of his depth. "I'll get a facial or summat."

"Nonsense, Stevie!" Phil approached him with arms wide open. "You have got to suffer with the rest of us."

Ste welcomed his embrace and patted the man's back before extricating himself from his hold.

Phil side glanced to Simon. "Simon."

Simon smirked. "Phil."

"Come on, guys, hand your phones over." Paul said with a smile.

"When do I get it back?" Ste asked anxiously as he and Simon gave Brendan's PA their mobiles. "I'll need to call my kids this evening."

He also didn't like the idea of not being contactable given that he had a stalker at large.

Paul patted him on the back. "You can use mine if you need. Let's get this weekend started."

{~}

"Mr Brady. Mr Swift." Florence said as the two men faced off in Brendan's office.

Brendan gave her a humourless smile. "Thank you, Florence."

"You're welcome."

"In fact. Florence?"

"Yes?"

"Why don't you take the rest of the day off? Start your weekend early."

She looked surprised. "Really? You won't need me here?"

She looked between the two men. She could sense the tension between them although the reason remained a mystery.

"No." Brendan said. "Noah and I will be fine."

Phil's PA took her leave quickly closing the door behind her.

"I thought your PA was a lad with a dragon tattoo on his neck." Noah said as he took a seat.

_So Steven's been talking to you about Paul? What else has been talking to you about?_

"Paul's on a staff retreat." Brendan replied as he sat behind his desk.

"Oh yes. The retreat." Noah smiled knowingly. "You didn't fancy going?"

"No."

After a moment Noah spoke.

"You're intriguing." He said calmly. "I'm not sure whether you are the compassionate, fair boss who lets his staff home early or the dragon that doesn't care to bond with his staff on a fun away trip."

Brendan studied the man in front of him.

This was worse than he had feared. At a glance, Noah ticked every single conceivable box that might be on someone's wish list for the 'perfect guy'.

"Maybe I am a bit of both." Brendan said.

Noah smiled. "Maybe."

Noah Swift was taller than Brendan by an inch or so and looked a little younger. His hair was dark brown and recently cut. He was clean shaven with dark brown playful eyes. Mocha skin. A good face. The kind that made you look twice only to make you want to keep looking. He had a useful body and a confident stance. He was undeniably attractive and effortlessly suave.

On top of the superficial he was co-founder of one of the country's leading ad agencies which meant he was smart and affluent to boot.

There was literally nothing Brendan liked about him.

"Steven has given me a comprehensive summary of how the rebrand is going so I am not sure what the purpose of this meeting is."

"I'm not here about the rebrand." Noah made himself comfortable in his chair. "I am here because we both hired Ste for his services."

Brendan was shocked that Noah had brought it up.

"And you seem to have a problem with that fact." Noah said.

"I don't." Brendan said.

"There is no point in lying. I'll be honest, when Ste turned up to _Lionel and Swift_ for the first time I was surprised but then Ste started talking marketing strategies and graphics software and I realised that I was dealing with a man that was talented, motivated, intelligent and capable."

"What's your point?"

"Ste thinks that you haven't moved past seeing him as an escort."

"That's nonsense. I have. He was hired by _my_ company. _I_ handpicked him to work on the rebrand. I recognise his skills outside-"

"-the bedroom?" Noah said. "So do I. Have you wondered why he is fine with me and not with you?"

Brendan gripped his hands into fists. His eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched.

What an asshole.

"Jealous?" Noah asked. "You shouldn't be."

"Enlighten me then." Brendan said.

"It's because I'm not you."

Brendan didn't understand what Noah meant by that exactly.

"Three weeks before Ted Kilner's charity art exhibition Ste stopped escorting."

Brendan frowned. What was Noah talking about?

"No." He said. "You're wrong."

Noah lifted an eyebrow. "Because you slept together that night? He thought you were into him. He thought you wanted him... not a call out."

"But he took the money." Brendan said without conviction.

Brendan could not remember Steven telling him that he had stopped escorting but on reflection he could remember the devastated look on Steven's face when he handed the lad his money.

How Steven's eyes had filled with moisture.

How his shoulders had slumped.

How lips lips had taken a downward turn.

His jubilant mood had soured in an instant and he had left the apartment dejectedly.

"He took the money because he didn't want to encounter further humilitation." Noah said.

Brendan shook his head. Noah had got it wrong.

"He only kept you, Brendan, as a client. He did it because the lad likes you."

Brendan laughed.

That was funny. If there was one thing he was sure of it was that Steven did not like him at all.

"You find that funny?"

"I find it impossible. He can barely stand to be in the same room as me."

"Because you are messing with his mind. You are one of two reasons why his life is shit right now."

"I am not messing with him."

"He is your employee, Brendan, and yet he told me that you have gone to see him in hospital when he was unwell and given him inappropriate presents and asked him personal questions about his relationship with Simon."

Brendan looked down.

Noah said. "Ste thinks that you treat him differently because of the rent-boy thing." The ad executive stuffed his hands into his pockets. "He can't see what's right in front of his eyes. What is very obvious to me."

"And what's that?"

"That the reason you treat him differently and did those things for him is because you care about him just as much as he cares about you but won't admit it."

{~}

The group was split into four teams of ten people each accompanied by a facilitator. Ste's disappointment at not being on Simon's team (team one) was blunted by being placed with Paul and Melanie (team four).

The first task saw the teams blindfolded and shuttled to different locations around the lake by bus before being given a map. The goal was simple; to figure out where they were and to get to their destination.

The members of team four worked well together but were limited on foot by its slowest member. Having walked through miles of Scottish countryside they were the last of the four teams to get to their destination; a clearing on the edge of the lake.

Melanie pointed across the lake to its other side as they joined the other guests. "Look. The hotel's over there."

Ste's stomach was grumbling. It was well past one pm. He was tired and hungry. He didn't care where the hotel was. He wanted food.

One of the facilitators said. "Before we have lunch we have one more task for you. The campers amongst you should find this easy."

The teams were grouped into two big teams. Teams one and two versus teams three and four.

Their task? To erect two huge tents without any instructions.

Simon led the former while Melanie led the latter.

In the end, Melanie's team beat Simon's.

"Okay, guys." A facilitator said while clapping her hands together to get everyone's attention. "Are you starting to feel the _hardship_? You might be wondering why you have put up two tents here when you have a cosy hotel bed waiting for you over there."

"Oh no." Melanie whispered anticipating where this was going.

"That's because two teams are going to get first hand experince of the wilderness tonight while the other two go back to the hotel to see loved ones and enjoy a nice comfortable night."

There were groans of displeasure from the group.

The facilitator smiled. "It's not called _wilderness and hardship_ for nothing!"

"Awesome." Paul whispered to Ste.

Ste supposed it sounded like a fun challenge.

"After lunch each team will be responsible for creating a self-sustaining settlement. The teams with the two best settlements get to go back to the hotel."

"That's mean." Ste whispered to Paul and Mel.

"It's clever." Melanie whispered back as she folded her arms across her chest. "It's like property developing 'wilderness-style'. Piece of piss."

{~}

Their team and Phil's lost. Simon's won.

Melanie thought it was a fix.

Simon was pissed off because he and Ste would be parted for the night.

"Fuck it. I'll stay." He said.

"You can't." Paul said. "That's the whole point of this."

"Rules are rules." Mel said.

Ste smiled. "You heard them. I'll see you tomorrow."

Simon gave him a small grin. "Definitely."

Ste had noticed that Phil was barely speaking to him. He was sure that it was because he had gathered the nature of Ste's relationship to Simon.

At some point he knew that he had to take the man aside and explain the situation so that he did feel that Ste was carrying on with some dude behind Amy's back.

Once the winning teams left the 'losers' explored their living quarters.

Ste had a look inside the tents. While they had been fixing up settlements staff from the hotel had filled them with sleeping bags, pillows and torches for warmth, comfort and light.

Ste grabbed a sleeping bag and joined Paul, Phil and Mel by an open campfire that was blazing a few feet away from the water's edge.

They watched the sun set while eating a basic supper and consoled themselves over the fact that at least they were looking at an area of extreme beauty.

As the light faded to darkness the ambient temperature dropped significantly. The open fire failed to compensate for the cold so Melanie slipped into his sleeping bag to compound the effect of insulation with body heat to help them both keep warm.

"This is shit." Phil moaned.

"At least you don't have someone waiting for you at the hotel." Melanie said. "My poor husband is waiting for me to get back."

"The staff will let him know." Paul said.

"Why isn't Fiona here?" Ste asked Phil.

The older man ignored him.

Melanie and Paul looked oddly at the CFO wondering why he was being so off.

"Phil, Ste asked you a question." Paul said.

"She's got the flu." Melanie explained on Phil's behalf. "By the way, the facilitators say that the tents are going to be unisex."

"Really?" Ste said. "We'll be crammed!"

Melanie smiled. "I'm not going to feel sorry for you lot. Serves the world right for creating a glass ceiling for women in senior positions. Enjoy the cramped living conditions!"

"Thirteen blokes versus seven women." Paul said. "It will get cosy.

"So Ste. Let me get this straight. You're with Amy." Phil said out of the blue.

Paul and Mel went quiet.

Phil finally spoke and he decided to bring up something personal.

Ste was glad that the flickering light of the open fire and the cold masked his blushing cheeks. "Um. No. I'm not. I haven't been for a while. I'm sorry, Phil. I should have said before. I was trying to pick a moment to speak to you about it in private."

"Does she know?" Phil asked.

Mel laughed uneasily. "Maybe Ste doesn't want to talk about his personal matters in public."

Ste shook his head. "No, it's okay. I can see why Phil is confused about Ames and me."

"Does she know you like men?" Phil asked.

"Yes. We raise Leah and Lucas together but we aren't together. She has a boyfriend."

"And so does Ste." Paul said.

"Simon?" Phil said incredulously.

"It's the twenty-first century, Phil."

There was an air of tension that built up that Melanie tried to break. "As long as it's all out in the open and no one is hurt then it's all good, right?"

"We have never lied to my kids about the nature of our relationship. They understand that Amy is in love with Uncle Lee and that daddy likes guys."

Phil was grinding his teeth in a manner that was quite sinister.

"What's your problem?" Melanie asked Phil. "You have never had a problem with Brendan."

Paul said. "I think Phil's a little old fashioned."

"When I caught you that early Saturday morning. You were getting home." Phil said, "Coming out of the cab. I asked if you'd been out all night…"

Ste remembered. That was the day after his last call out with Kevin when he had been bruised and scratched up.

Melanie got angry at that point. "You need to get out into the real world, Phil. One in ten men are gay. That means that some are in your family. Some are people you call friends."

The middle aged man stood up.

"Thanks for the information, Melanie." He said sarcastically before storming off.

Melanie was slack jawed. "Jeez. I did not think he had that much of a problem with it."

Paul shook his head as the three of them saw the man disappear into the woods.

"Don't worry about him, Ste."

{~}

A couple of hours later and Phil still wasn't back and everything was pitch black with the exception of the bright stars and three quarter moon overhead, the lights of the hotel in the far distance and the fading open fire.

Paul stood up wearily.

"I'm going to tell one of the facilitators and see if I can find him."

"I'm going to bed." Melanie said. "I'm getting serious tech withdrawal and I've run out of things to occupy myself with."

They left Ste by the fire.

Ste decided to stay up a little while longer.

Reactions like Phil's were getting rarer but Ste had forgotten how painful they felt and while he tried to not make it affect him it was hard not to.

He walked up to the water's edge with his sleeping bag thrown over his shoulders and looked out at the moonlit still water. Strange how when faced with an expanse of nature, one could feel so small and insignificant.

He picked up a small stone, threw it into the lake and watched as its impact created a ripple effect in the water. He smiled and threw in another one, this time at a slant. He managed to make it skip twice before it plunged into the water. He looked down at his feet trying to find the perfect flat round stone to get some decent skips on the water. He remembered doing this exact thing with his grandfather.

He knelt to pick one up but as he straightened up he heard a stone lightly skim over the water and saw the circles it formed.

His heart started to thud quickly as he looked around himself.

Someone had thrown a stone in and it wasn't him.

"Hello?"

He said, narrowing his eyes and looked along the dark shore either side of him. It was too dark to see anyone.

"Who's there?" He said, fear causing his voce to break.

He could see his own short sharp exhaled breaths as they fogged in front of him. He could hear the rapid thud of his heart beat in his ears.

He slowly backed away from the water.

There was someone there.

It was an unshakeable feeling that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

When yet another stone skipped across the still water of the lake Ste broke out into a run.

He didn't get far.

He collided into something solid and fell to the ground.

{~}

Vincent Part 3 _tomorrow_ (pinkie swear)


	24. Vincent- Part three

_**Dear Folks, **_

_**Here is Vincent 3 as promised. Thank you for your comments! I have tweaked the last chapter because I thought bits didn't flow (But the jist of the story is the same so don't bother to re-read). I did it for my peace of mind. There is a chance that I may tweak this one as well at a later date. (Again it will be editing stuff but not changing the story) **_

_**Hope you enjoy it.**_

_**This is what I would like to call the will they, won't they chapter...(Hard M for 'How's you father')**_

_**Chips x**_

_**dedicated to TessaP and her kind...**_

_**{~}**_

Ste slowly backed away from the water.

There was someone there.

It was an unshakeable feeling that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

When yet another stone skipped across the still water of the lake Ste broke out into a run.

He didn't get far. He collided into something solid and fell to the ground.

His butt got the full force of the fall and his hands and elbows scraped against the sharp edges of the stones he landed on.

"Careful." He heard someone say in the darkness.

A hand firmly got hold of his elbow and pulled Ste back onto his feet.

He blinked in case his eyes were playing tricks on him in the darkness as he saw who it was.

"Didn't mean to scare you, Steven." Brendan said.

{~}

"What are you doing here?" Ste tried to calm himself down. "I thought you weren't coming."

Brendan was still holding onto him so Ste shook himself out of his hold.

Brendan sighed at him.

"I changed my mind." He said.

Ste's heart was thumping away but it wasn't because of fear anymore. He took a step away from Brendan so that the man's aftershave didn't assault his senses.

"The stone throwing wasn't funny." He said and crossed his arms across his chest.

"What stone throwing?"

Ste pointed at the water.

"The skipping stones."

Brendan looked at him blankly.

Ste wasn't prepared to play games so he marched past the taller man and headed for the male tent.

Brendan followed him.

"Go back to the hotel." Ste said over his shoulder.

"I'm sleeping here tonight." Brendan said behind him.

It felt to Ste like Brendan had come for the sole purpose of torturing him.

"They told me that I'd find you here."

Ste stopped abruptly and turned round to face the man. He could just about make out his handsome features in the dim moonlight.

"Why were you looking for me?"

"I got some sense knocked into me by an unlikely source." Brendan said. He looked at the mass of men hovering outside the male tent. "Is Simon here?"

"No. He was on one of the winning teams. He's back at our chalet."

"Who knew? This is the first time I've been happy that he's won something."

"Ste!" Paul called out to him from a distance.

"Yeah! I'm by the water."

Ste walked into the light cast by the fireplace as his friend approached from the edge of the woods.

Paul looked frazzled. Shaken.

"Have you found him?" Ste asked him.

"No. The facilitators know these woods though so they're out looking for him. They said I should stay here."

"Who are you talking about?" Brendan asked.

Paul's eyes grew as wide as saucers when he spotted Brendan emerging from the shadows.

"Phil. He walked off a couple of hours ago and he hasn't been back to camp since."

Brendan looked disinterested. "People like Phil have a habit of showing up when it matters. Give it a while longer."

"What are you doing here anyway?" Paul asked.

"What everyone is hoping to do." Brendan said. He looked at Ste. "Bond."

"Well, you might want to go back to the hotel. There are going to be thirteen of us in that tent. Fourteen, if you stay."

Brendan raised an eyebrow.

"Anyway. I think I'm going to get some sleep." Paul said. "I'm knackered."

Ste pulled his friend into a hug. He sensed Paul's despondency. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Paul gave him an extra squeeze for good measure. "Night."

Ste looked at Brendan and then at Paul. He couldn't be alone with Brendan so he said,

"Wait! I'll come with you. I'm knackered too."

{~}

Steven and Paul walked into the tent before Brendan.

The Mancunian waited for Paul to find a spot and then settled himself next to him. He looked up at Brendan with reservation while pulling the sleeping bag right up under his chin.

Brendan hesitated.

If he went to lie next to Steven that would be too forward but if he chose a spot away from him that would come across as disinterested.

"Brendan!" The company's COO called out to him. "Fancy seeing you here. We didn't think you'd make it."

Brendan gave him his signature wry smile. "Wouldn't have missed all this for the world."

"Well you have missed the torture that was our day tasks so count yourself lucky! Come over here. There's a spot here if you're looking."

That took care of things.

Brendan walked over to the man and accepted the sleeping bag that was offered to him.

He barely slept during the night. Partly because of the impressive snoring around him. Partly because of the flatulence. Partly because of the discomfort.

Mostly because of the man that was six bodies away from him.

At one point in the night Phil crept into the tent.

Steven sat up and Brendan observed an exchange between him and Phil as they sat either side of a sleeping Paul.

"Sorry for my reaction."

Steven smiled and said. "It's okay."

Steven noticed Brendan looking at him. They stared at each other over the sea of sleeping men until Brendan gave him a smile that he hoped conveyed what he felt.

Steven lay back down and turned over to face away from Brendan.

{~}

The next morning the losing teams gathered around at the camp to await their instructions for the day. The hum of conversation centred on complaints of sore limbs, cramps, cold and hunger.

"We're going to head for the hotel today after a hit of caffeine." A facilitator said. "You'll have a chance to eat and clean up before our team building activities continue at lunch time. Like yesterday the meeting point is the Opium room. Please be there by one pm having had something substantial to eat."

Brendan tried falling into step with Steven on the walk back but he kept getting accosted by colleagues, including Melanie, who were mesmerised by the fact that he had finally attended a weekend retreat.

When they got to the hotel he ambushed Steven.

"Do you have a moment?"

Brendan was acutely aware that his PA and Melanie were right there looking at the two of them.

The lad said. "There is something I need to do right now."

"Five minutes, Steven."

"Sorry." Steven walked away from him quickly heading towards his chalet.

Brendan walked a distance behind him and ducked behind a tree as he watched Steven knock on the door to his own chalet.

It opened and Walker stepped out.

"I didn't have the energy to look for my key." Steven said tiredly.

Walker wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. "How did it go?"

"It were freezing." Steven said. "I barely slept and now I'm tired and hungry."

Walker gave him a quick kiss. "Sounds like fun."

He sniffed Steven's hair and kissed the top of his head. "You smell like you've been in the wilderness."

"Are you saying I stink?" Steven mumbled as he settled in Walker's arms.

"I mean in a good way. You smell… real."

Steven pushed away from Simon slightly. "I'm having a shower. Real is code for BO."

Walker laughed. "It isn't."

As if sensing Brendan's stare, Walker suddenly looked over at him.

He gave the Irishman a smile before running his hands slowly over Steven's body.

"Let's get you out of these damp clothes." He said into Steven's ear. "How does that sound?"

Ste nodded with fatigue marking his every movement. "Yeah. Good."

Walker guided him into their room, gave Brendan one last smile and shut the door.

{~}

At face value the chalet had a rustic look. Log fire. Wood panelling. French windows that led to the lake. A cushy king sized four-poster bed. An en suite cabin bathroom. But the detail was high end; it was stuffed with mod coms.

So much for hardship.

"You must have had a nice time last night." Ste said.

Simon chuckled. "Can't complain."

"Brendan's here." Ste said. He thought he might as well let Simon know. He was bound to find out soon enough. "He arrived at the campsite last night."

"I wonder why he came." Simon said but he didn't look as surprised as Ste thought he might.

Ste shrugged. "Dunno."

'_Why are you here, Brendan?'_

'_Changed my mind._ _I got some sense knocked into me by an unlikely source.'_

What had that supposed to mean?

"I'm going to have a shower then I'm having a nap." Ste said tiredly.

He felt Simon's hands curl around him from behind as he picked up his towel.

"Need a hand to scrub your back?"

"I think I'll be okay."

'_Client four. Client five. Client six. Client seven.'_

'_Stop.'_

"Are you sure?" Simon kissed his neck as he helped Ste to take his jacket off.

_You are nothing but rot. A filthy whore. Poison. Spreading your legs for cash. People like you are a malignant presence in society, destroying it until it is too late. You hurt families. You spread disease. You are vermin._

He turned around to face Simon and gently lay his hands on the man's cheeks. "You have been so good to me. You know that."

'_You fight against everything I give you.'_

'_Because I don't understand why you do it, Brendan.'_

'_You were ill and now you are better. I want you to know that I am happy about that.'_

'_So am I but I don't need a present.'_

"You deserve it." Simon replied.

Ste smiled sadly. "I've had a really tough time recently, Simon. I won't bore you with why but that's why I have been pushing you away. But you've been really patient. It's been nice to know that you like me, you know, even without the sex. You've been good for me."

Ste reached up and gave Simon a kiss then he took his hand and led him to the bathroom.

"Is this what I think it is?" Simon said as he allowed himself to be dragged.

"Maybe."

Ste turned the water on then took his clothes off. He felt surprisingly self-conscious doing so in front of Simon. It would probably feel the same in front of anyone.

Apart from Caden and that time that he had slept with Brendan thinking it wasn't a call out, he had _never_ been with a man who had not been a client. This felt new, unexplored and a little nerve-wracking.

He used shaky hands to unbutton his jeans. "My fingers are being weird."

"Weird how?" Simon asked nervously.

Ste smiled. "Not 'someone-spiked-my-drink' weird. Just nervous weird."

"That's okay then." Simon said with a smile. "Nerves are good. Performance goes up."

It helped that Simon let him strip off at his own pace. The Brummie got out of his kit and jumped under the spray of water.

"When you're ready." Simon said and threw him a shit eating grin.

Fuck it. Ste figured that there was no point dipping his toe in. He got into the shower and put his hands on Simon's chest. His fingers traced over the man's firm pectorals as water cascaded over them.

'_Mind if I join you?' _

'_Lost your way to the other bathroom?'_

'_No.' Ste placed his hands on Brendan's body. 'I just-'_

Simon picked up his shower gel and smoothed a dollop of it over Ste's body.

Ste pretended that he was feeling ticklish and took over rubbing the gel over himself. He efficiently washed himself while Simon looked at him shamelessly.

"Careful. You'll peel a layer of skin off." Simon said as he lazily cleaned himself. "Here. Turn around."

Ste faced the wall of the shower cubicle and felt Simon's rub a wash cloth up his back, across his shoulders and back down again as far as the swell of his buttocks before going up again. He pressed his hands against the wall for balance and closed his eyes. The wash cloth moved round his body to run up his chest. Simon's arms wrapped around Ste's waist and pushed him close. Ste could feel the man's groin against his bum as Simon kissed his neck and cheek before encouraging Ste to kiss him by turning his head to face him.

They kissed as the water beat down on their bodies until Simon emitted a guttural groan and turned Ste round to face him. He pushed Ste against a cool wall then crashed their bodies together in a surge of passion.

His tongue plunged Ste's mouth and his body pressed into Ste's. Simon's hands clutched his butt and he sighed into the younger man's mouth. Then without warning he lifted Ste up into his arms so that Ste automatically felt compelled to wrap his legs around Simon's waist.

Simon was an athletic lover. Ste could feel the strain of the man's muscles and his cock in the cleft of his butt, nudging at him as they kissed.

There was urgency to Simon's actions that made Ste feel wanted.

Desired.

But.

"Am I going too fast?" Simon whispered into his ear.

Ste shook his head. "No. Why?"

"You've gone still."

"Really." Ste gave him a kiss. "Sorry."

He heard faint ringing coming from the room.

"Do you hear that?" He asked.

"No."

"Phone."

He slipped out of Simon's hold; his feet touching the shower floor gracefully.

"Oh no, Ste. Not now." Simon held onto his hand but the slipperiness caused by the water meant Ste was able to slide out of his hold easily.

Ste grinned. "I'll be two seconds. It might be Ames and the kids."

He ran into the room and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Is that Mr Hay?"

"Yes."

"This is the reception desk. I have a call for you. I'll put it through."

"Thank you." Ste said. "Hello?"

There was no reply.

"Hello?"

"Who is it, Ste?" Simon called from the bathroom.

"Dunno." Ste sat down on the bed and shivered as the water cooled on his body. "Hello?"

That's when he heard breathing through the phone line then a quiet voice, a whisper.

"I can see you. Slut."

Then the phone went dead.

Ste put the phone down. He immediately rushed to the French windows. He quickly glanced outside but could not see anyone so he drew the curtains shut. His eyes filled up with tears as he then scrambled to find his jeans and quickly put them on.

He peeked through the curtains once more. He couldn't see anyone. He blinked to release the tears that his eyes held.

He crouched to the floor as his chest felt tight and his breathing became laboured.

"Who was it?" Simon called out from the bathroom.

Ste used breathing exercises to calm himself down.

"No one." He croaked. He cleared his throat and said in a louder voice. "Wrong number."

"Then get back in here! We were just getting started."

"Give me a minute."

He stood up slowly and looked at his reflection in the room's mirror. Had his stalker come all the way out here? He rubbed his cheeks dry and tried a smile.

It failed to hit the mark.

He picked up the phone and called reception.

"Hi. It's Ste Hay. You put me through to someone a minute ago."

"Yes Mr Hay."

"We got cut off. Could you tell me who it was?"

"I'm sorry. He didn't give a name."

Ste asked reception to put him through to Chester police department.

{~}

Brendan was waiting in the Opium room with everyone else when Walker walked in without Steven.

He watched the Brummie go up to Paul and say,

"Ste's not feeling well. He's taking a nap so he's out of this afternoon's activities."

Brendan eavesdropped.

Paul looked concerned. "What's wrong with him?"

"Headache." Walker said. "Severe."

"Should I check up on him?"

"No. He's asleep. He doesn't want to be disturbed."

Brendan stood up.

"Where are you going?" Melanie asked him.

"There's a business call I have to make."

"You have your phone?"

"Perk of being the boss."

"We're leaving in half an hour."

"If I'm not back by then I'll catch up with you."

"We can wait." She said.

"Don't."

He left and headed straight for Steven's chalet.

He was surprised to find the door open.

"Steven?" He called out as he walked in to find the room turned upside down. The bed was ruffled and empty as if it had been recently occupied and vacated in a hurry. He went to the bathroom. It was humid from recent use.

The lad wasn't there so Brendan went back into the bedroom, and out of the door.

He ran out towards the lake and looked frantically in all directions.

Steven was nowhere to be seen.

Brendan sprinted back into the room and grabbed Steven's rucksack. He rifled through its contents. The young man's wallet was still there as were the room's electrical equipment which suggested that this was not a robbery. At least not one of material possessions.

Brendan searched the contents of the young man's wallet. He scanned through credit and debit cards, cash, a couple of receipts (petrol/groceries) until he came across something interesting; a folded piece of paper.

_*In an emergency*_

_DC Sue Rollins_

_077*******3_

Why did the lad have a detective's mobile number handy? Did this have to do with the phone call he had heard Ste receive on his first day at _Clover Corp_ or his hospitalisation?

Panic and alarm were rising. Brendan reached into his pocket and took out his mobile. He entered the detective's number into his phone and was about to ring the number when he heard a sound behind him.

"What are you doing in here?"

Brendan turned around to face Steven.

The degree of relief he felt was immeasurable as he saw the lad. If truth be told Brendan had thought, for some crazy reason, that Steven might have been abducted.

Instead Steven was staring at him with a look that was halfway between a scowl and frown. He didn't look unwell with a headache. He looked on edge and frightened.

Brendan took a step towards him.

Steven visibly recoiled. "I said what are you doing in here?"

"Walker said that you had a headache."

"I'm fine."

"This room is a mess."

"How is that your business?"

"Something isn't right here." Brendan said as he looked around him.

He walked up to Steven but the young man withdrew from him.

"I really want you to go, Brendan."

"Are you scared of me?"

Steven's eyes said it all.

"Did you do this?" Brendan asked indicating the wrecked room.

"I was looking for something."

"What?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Why did you tell Walker you had a headache?"

"I thought I told you to leave."

"Why have you got a direct line to the police?" Brendan showed him the slip of paper he found.

"Have you been going through my things?" Steven became agitated. "That's messed up."

He looked so fragile which was strange because in Brendan's mind Steven was strong. Tough and resilient. Something was breaking him. Noah had alluded to it.

'…_he is in a living hell. You are one of two reasons why…'_

There were echoes of Brendan's past as he looked at Steven standing there. The Irishman could see Vincent standing in a similar fashion in front of him.

'_What's wrong?' _

'_Nothing. I'm tired.'_

'_You sure?'_

'_Bren, I'm fine. I just need an early night.'_

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" Ste said.

That was something that Brendan had asked himself many a time. There had been several times during their journey together where it would have been easier to walk away and end things and yet he hadn't.

He hadn't been able to.

"I can't." Brendan said.

"Why?" Steven asked.

Shit. Did he have to say the words?

"Because." Brendan cleared his throat…

Then wet his lips…

Then swallowed nervously.

"Thought so." Steven unexpectedly marched up to him, grabbed his wrist and dragged him towards the chalet's door with surprising strength.

"Steven." Brendan said.

"Get out."

This felt like one of those moments were he had to go all in to prove his point.

So he grabbed his employee in his arms.

_That physical aggression there. Well done. Idiot._

Then he kissed the shit out of him hoping that Steven would acquiesce, melt in his arms and kiss him back, like he had in the past.

_And that's sexual assault against an employee. Call the lawyer._

Steven stayed rigid and still against him, unmoved by Brendan's touch. Brendan pulled his hands away and looked into the lad's eyes once again.

_Fuck it. Since I am looking at disciplinary action at the very least and a criminal charge at the most I may as well say the truth. _

_What do I have to lose?_

_Sweet F.A._

He took a deep breath in and said,

"Okay."

If looks could kill Steven had blown him to smithereens.

"I. I love you, Steven."

{~}

Ste was sure he was suffering from a stroke. First off he got back to his room to see Brendan there. Then Brendan kissed him. Then Brendan said these words.

_I love you, Steven_.

He must be having a stroke.

Ste felt himself relax in Brendan's arms.

"I love you, Steven." Brendan exhaled after saying the words again.

_Why am I grinning like an idiot?_ Ste thought to himself. _Strokes aren't funny_.

"I should have told you ages ago but I didn't know how."

Ste had never seen Brendan like this. It was as though the walls were down. His mask was off. His eyes were portals to his soul.

Brendan took hold of his hands. The shock of that simple contact acted like a reality check.

This was happening.

Brendan was saying he loved him and it was improbable and incredible.

"I've never said that to anyone before. I mean anyone that isn't family." Brendan confessed in a whisper. "Never."

Brendan dipped his head closer until their foreheads rested together.

"I feel stupid saying it now because you hate me and you're with Walker and I've blown it."

Their noses touched, brushing lightly together before their mouths met in a soft. Their lips clung together revisiting a time when they were familiar.

"I want you to know that I am here for you, Steven. One hundred percent. Whenever and for whatever."

Ste clutched at Brendan's top with his fists. He wasn't sure whether he was pushing the man away or pulling him closer.

"Okay." Brendan said. "Okay. I'm going."

Ste wanted to tell him to stay but he couldn't find his voice.

He watched as the Irishman walked away instead.

He didn't know how look he stood like that staring at the door but eventually he fell back onto his unmade bed.

He pressed a hand into his chest. His heart was going a mile a minute.

It still felt like he was in a dream; a fantasy that he should be able to pinch himself out of so he pinched himself to make sure.

"Ouch."

No, this was real.

He covered his mouth to hide the grin that threatened to form.

Brendan loved him.

Brendan loved him.

Loved.

He used that word.

Love.

I. Love. You. Steven.

His room phone rang.

This time Ste answered it with trepidation. He sat up.

"Hello. I've got a call for you Mr Hay."

"Ste. I heard what happened from a colleague of mine. I'm sorry I didn't answer the phone myself but we are out in the field."

"It's fine."

"I heard about what happened yesterday with the skipping stones and the prank call this morning. I honestly think that you should return back to Chester."

"How will that make a difference? I get harassed there as well."

"But at least you'll be closer to our police force. We have no jurisdiction in Scotland."

Ste started to pace his chalet.

"I have searched the hotel room for bugs. I couldn't find any listening or recording devices. I don't know how he knows what I am doing. I even went outside but I couldn't see anything suspicious footprints or nothing."

"Ste, you should not be investigating yourself. My fear is that whoever it is actually stalking you is watching you for a very short distance. I'll get the hotel to give us a list of their guests and staff for the weekend. If you will not take my advice and come back to Chester then I need you to make sure that you always stay with someone you can trust until you get back here. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Is there someone there that you feel you can trust?"

He felt himself relax as he said. "Yeah. There is."

"Good. Never leave that person's side."

"I won't."

{~}

Brendan saw Steven running towards them just as they were about to leave for an afternoon of team building activities.

"Wait!"

The Irishman couldn't help but grin as the lad approached at full pelt.

His was a good thing, wasn't it? Ste didn't look angry. Quite the opposite. He looked almost calm. The Mancunian slowed to a trot as he reached the group with a timid smile on his face.

Simon's smile was confused as he saw Steven approach. "Ste?"

Brendan's smile faded when Steven stopped in front of Walker.

"I thought you had a headache." Simon said to him and placed a hand on Ste's head.

"I did. But I took some extra strength pain relief." Steven looked over at Brendan momentarily before looking back at Simon. "I'm so glad I didn't miss you guys."

"You might be taking those words back in a bit." Paul said. "We've all been told that day two 'builds' on day one."

{~}

Paul wasn't wrong. The day was brutal with a capital B. It was physically and mentally challenging especially with thoughts of the hotel room 'prank' call playing heavily on Ste's mind.

The cold harsh whispered words reverberated through his mind.

"_I can see you. Slut."_

Every time he heard the echo of that voice he looked around in fear only to lay eyes on someone for comfort who was unwittingly getting him through the day just by being present. He felt strangely secure and grounded and not alone.

It was a paradox because he hadn't said a word to Brendan all day but he had never felt so close to him.

By the end of the day he was drained.

Ste walked back to his chalet with Simon having said bye to Paul and Melanie.

"Fuck" Simon fell back into their bed and closed his eyes in exhaustion.

Ste stayed standing and looked down at the man. He was wringing his hands together nervously. This wasn't going to be easy but he had to do it.

"Simon."

"Hum."

"Look at me a sec."

"I'm not sleeping. I still have some energy left." Simon opened his eyes. "You know the way people always have extra room for dessert? I always have extra energy for sex."

Oh.

Shit.

No.

"About that."

_Better tell him now than later_. He had wanted to tell him earlier but the moment hadn't been right what with every important member of _Clover Corp_ around them. It had been hard to stay away from Brendan today and act distant to spare Simon public humiliation. After Ste was done here he was going to find Brendan and tell him what he should have said earlier had the cat not got his tongue.

"Come here." Simon said lazily.

"I can't, Simon." Ste said. "I'm sorry."

Simon looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know how to put this."

Simon took hold of Ste's hands and brought him down to lie over him.

He started kissing him but Ste pulled away.

He placed his hands on either side of Simon's face on the bed and looked down at the older man. "I know that whatever I say I'll come across like I led you on but I want you to know that I really like you and I think you are a great guy but this is not what I want."

Simon frowned.

Ste got off the man and sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry."

Simon laughed drily. He gripped Ste and pushed him onto the bed, face up, pinning him down.

"What are you doing?" Ste asked trying to remain as calm as possible.

Simon looked down at him.

"I want to have sex. I've waited for four fucking weeks."

"But I don't want to." Ste said as shards of fear ripped through him.

"Have you ever said no to Brendan?"

Fear rose further.

Where was the venom coming from? Ste had never seen it before.

He stuttered with anxiety as Simon dipped down to kiss his collarbone. He couldn't move away but his body shivered.

"Stop playing up and get off me, Si."

"What if I was a client? Would that change anything?"

"What?" Ste felt blood drain from his face.

"How much is your going rate? £100? £200? £300?" Simon kissed over his chest and whispered. "I'd call that a bargain."

Ste felt himself beginning to hyperventilate.

"How long have you known?"

"A while." Walker caressed Ste's chest with his lips and tongue as he spoke in a calm voice while keeping the lad restrained. "I was intrigued by Brendan's fascination with you. When he nearly compromised the Kilner deal by punching Freddie in the nose I decided to do a bit of research. You sure did put yourself out there. Eye opening stuff to find out about someone who presents themselves as a frigid cunt."

Ste felt tears roll down his cheeks. "I wasn't pretending. I don't escort anymore. I haven't for months."

He tried to get Simon off him. It reminded him of their training sessions.

He failed.

"Blah. Blah. Blah. Tell me a price and I'll pay it."

"There is none." Ste whispered in upset. "I'm not going back to doing that ever again, Simon. I don't get why you are being like this."

He tried to remember the judo training they had had together to figure out how to get out of Simon's hold. It hadn't been easy but he had managed to a couple of times. He had to get away because the alternative was too gruesome for Ste to imagine.

The Simon that faced him now was so different to the man who he had known for the last few weeks; the guy that had taken Ste to to A and E when he had fallen unconscious in his bed.

"I could scream." Ste said. "People will know and they'll come running."

"If you cry rape I'll tell them all what you did and what you have done. If you try to run away I'll tell them that you fucked Brendan. Let's see what that does to your career."

_Oh God._

"Be a good boy, yeah? I'm going to get off you and I want you to take off your clothes for me." Simon said. "Do you understand?"

If Ste didn't do what Simon said not only would he be affected but Brendan's reputation as a serious businessman in tatters by virtue of his past association with a male prostitute.

Ste couldn't have that happen.

"I understand." He whispered numbly.

"No funny business." Simon slowly let go of him. "No sudden movements."

Ste sat up and turned away from Simon while he took his clothes off.

He felt empty inside.

This could not be happening. There had to be a way out. A solution.

"How much is it going to be then?" Simon said.

Ste stayed still. He couldn't speak. If he did. The tremble of his grief would be heard. Did it matter how much Simon was going to pay him. This was the ultimate degradation and violation; whether he got a fiver or £1000 for it.

Ste was being forced to have sex against his will.

"I'm thinking £400 for are being so congenial."

"Where do you want me?" Ste asked without emotion.

"Lie on the bed. On your front."

Ste did and trembled as he felt a hand on his back.

"You're fucking perfect." Simon whispered.

"You're going to use a condom, right?"

The Brummie chuckled.

{~}

Brendan couldn't understand it. He could have sworn that despite Steven not speaking to him once during the day that he had kept looking over at him. He would give the Irishman the faintest of smiles before getting on with whatever task he was supposed to be getting on with.

Maybe he was mistaken. Maybe that had been wishfully thinking.

Brendan's head felt like it was about to explode so he stepped out of his chalet and headed for the lake to get a dose of nocturnal tranquillity.

As he walked past Steven's chalet he heard a sound. A loud bang accompanied by a howl.

It sounded like Simon.

Brendan rushed to the door and tried the lock. It was shut.

He listened closely with his ear plastered against the door but all was quiet once again.

"Don't you dare do that again."

Brendan heard Walker's voice clearly.

Brendan acted on pure instinct. He stepped a few feet away from the door and then ran towards it. The impact on his left shoulder was excruciating but it had the desired effect of breaking the door down.

A shocked Walker was lying almost fully clothed over a naked Steven. One of the older man's hands was wrapped tightly across the lad's windpipe and another was pressing him down into the bed.

Brendan pushed the man off and out of the bed.

He saw red as Walker tried to scamper away.

"Fuck, Brendan. He's being paid for it." Walker said in his defence as he pulled up his trousers. "We just had a little disagreement about him taking it raw."

Brendan took one look at Ste's tearful face as the lad covered his modesty with a bed sheet.

The Irishman's blood boiled over. He fought with Walker using bare hands and fists, driven by pure rage. Walker was more agile and skilful than he was but Brendan was a man possessed. He beat the shit out of the man.

Every word he spoke was punctuated with a blow to Walker's body.

"Don't. You. Dare. Fucking. Touch. Him. Ever. Again."

Walker's hands went up in silent supplication.

Steven eventually dragged Brendan off the man.

"Stop, Brendan."

Brendan turned his attention to the lad as he felt the dull throb of pain in his fists.

"Are you okay?" He asked. "Did he-"

Steven shook his head. "No."

Brendan pulled the young man to him. He clung onto him so tightly that he knew that he was probably suffocating him but he couldn't let go.

Not now.

Not ever.

{~}

Ste was sitting on Brendan's bed wrapped in one of the hotel's complimentary bathrobes.

Brendan had suggested the shower to help Ste clear his head and the physical reminders of Simon.

It had been a good idea.

"I don't know what would have happened if you didn't come." Ste said numbly as he played with the oversized sleeve.

The Irishman was sitting next to him but it looked like he was still carrying thinly veiled anger. His breath was shaky and he shook his head when he said,

"Are you sure he didn't hurt you?"

"Yes." Ste said.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"We came back to the chalet. He said that he wanted us to, uh, have sex but I told him that I didn't and that I didn't want to be with him anymore. Then he told me that he knew that I used to escort for you and he threatened that if I didn't sleep with him that he would tell everyone about us."

Brendan looked at Ste.

"You should have let him tell them."

"Didn't Ted Kilner say that a businessman is only as sound as his reputation? If the truth came out it could have ruined you."

"Why is that your problem?" Brendan asked.

"I don't want that to happen to you."

Brendan stared at him for a good long while. "Why?"

Ste whispered. "I-. Uh."

But he never got to finish his sentence as Brendan swooped in to kiss him.

{~}

"I feel a bit wrong doing this after what you've just been through." Brendan whispered.

He pushed Ste into his bed and undid his bathrobe while continuing to kiss him.

"Don't." Steven said heatedly. "Seriously. This is doing me good."

"Good." Brendan crawled between his legs. "I mean if this is like therapy then I'm happy to help."

He pushed his hands under the robe. He savoured Steven's warm taut skin, the hard nubs of his aroused nipples, the metal work through one of them, the accent of his ribs when he exhaled, and the hard fast thud of his heart under Brendan's ribcage.

Brendan pushed the bathrobe aside and looked down at the lad's body before pulling the garment off Steven completely.

Steven returned the favour and took Brendan's top off. They touched each other without restraint or fear of reproach.

_What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine_.

That is how Brendan felt about how they were with each other physically.

He lifted Steven into his arms so that the lad was sitting on his lap, a power-move that made Steven laugh in surprise. He draped his arms over the Irishman's shoulders and wrapped his legs around his waist.

Brendan savoured the contact of their bare chests as the lad's hands combed through his hair. Steven irritatingly still had his underwear on but he was already a lot closer to being naked than Brendan was. That had often been the case in times gone by. He had no problem getting his kit off.

At point blank range Steven's pupils were blown wide open giving his eyes a dark feral quality. His lashes played a coy dance around them. The freckles that had been rife over his shoulders were all but gone with the winter months. His cheeks were flushed and his pink, full mouth was slightly open anticipating what was to come.

So this was what love felt like. If Chez had conveyed that Brendan would have been a lot less resistant to the idea all these years.

He smiled when he saw Steven's lips curl at their corners.

"What are you smiling about?" He asked.

Steven's grin grew even wider. "You're looking at me funny."

"No I'm not."

"You are." Steven said. "Like this."

He demonstrated a face that could only be described as gormless.

"That's what I looked like? Thanks for that."

The lad nodded. "It's okay though. I still like you."

"Thank fuck for that." Brendan said.

Steven pensively ran his fingers over Brendan's scalp. It felt good enough to deserve a purr but Brendan controlled himself.

"I never thought I'd be able to do this again. Touch you like this." Steven said then kissed Brendan. "I convinced myself that it were a pipe dream."

"I thought _you'd_ never let me near you. You are a master at pushing people away." Brendan said wryly.

Steven wrapped his arms more firmly around Brendan showing him just how good he could be at keeping him close too. "I can't take all the credit. I should thank my mum, step-dad and my ex for making me good at putting up walls."

Brendan lightly scored Ste's skin with the tips of the fingers of one hand; strumming over the soft skin of his back over and over.

"I'm not bad at putting up walls either." Brendan confessed. He swallowed a lump of emotion.

"I know."

Steven licked up his Adam's apple before sucking at that sensitive spot in his neck that made Brendan's toes curl with desire.

"But I want to change." Brendan groaned.

Steven pushed gently so that Brendan was on his back. A shift in positions with Steven on top.

Brendan straightened his legs out then watched as Steven got off him for long enough to take his pants off and help Brendan out of the rest of his clothes. He disrobed urgently.

Brendan was amused when Steven got back on top of him and placed his hands squarely on Brendan's chest.

"I was in the middle of saying something deep and meaningful and you decided to get us naked."

Steven looked wholly unapologetic as he worshipped Brendan's body with his hands; like a potter working his clay.

"I'm listening."

His hands scratched against Brendan's skin. His cock rested on Brendan's stomach like an offering so Brendan took it in his hand and started fisting it slowly.

Steven gasped at the sensation then moaned in pleasure.

Brendan pulled him down for a kiss. He was on a mission to make Steven feel good so when they parted breathlessly Brendan encouraged Steven to crawl up closer to his head so that he was kneeling over Brendan.

Brendan grabbed hold of the base of the lad's cock and licked the head, teasing the sensitive underside. Steven's eyes closed as he let himself get swept away by the sensation. He re-opened them when Brendan ran a tongue over the whole shaft, getting it slick and wet. He took control at that point. He held his rock hard cock and slapped the tip against Brendan's open waiting mouth.

"Fuck." He moaned as his body followed his cheeks in turning a bright flushed red.

He dipped his cock into Brendan's mouth and emitted the horniest groan Brendan had ever heard. "Yeah."

Brendan bobbed his head up taking Steven in and down to the base, hearing the sounds of pleasure that cascaded from the young man's lips and feeling his slim hands holding the back of his head. Brendan stopped blowing him only when a cramp developed in the back of his neck.

He threw his head back onto the bed feeling breathless and rubbed Steven's spit shined cock with his hand.

He marvelled when Ste thrust fluidly into his palm. Brendan could envision the lad topping with that action; smooth deep spine-tingling strokes that would create inimitable pleasure for someone who didn't have an aversion to bottoming.

He pushed Steven onto the bed, face down.

Brendan was careful at this point. This is how he had found the lad, restrained by Walker, not so long ago. He started somewhere unintimidating. The young man's feet. He worshipped them, licking and sucking at them. Steven looked completely relaxed. He tucked his hands under his head. His eyes were closed and he had a vague smile on his face.

Brendan placed fluttering kisses that moved up his legs over his calves, and the backs of his knees, then his inner knees and thighs.

Spread'em boy. Brendan nudged Steven's legs apart. Onwards and upwards. He worried an area of skin high up on Steven's thigh. He licked and kissed and sucked and troubled that area and its opposite.

In response Steven pushed his bum up into the air as a silent plea when he realised that Brendan was getting no closer to where he wanted him to be. Brendan pushed it back down into the bed. He had forgotten what a bossy bottom Steven was even without saying a word.

Steven groaned with impatience and reached a hand out to try and grab Brendan's head to point it in the right direction.

"You trying to break my neck?" Brendan whispered in amusement.

Steven moaned in frustration. "No."

He wriggled his butt revealing his perfect puckered hole to Brendan. It was begging to be toyed with but still Brendan didn't bait so Steven flipped over onto his back.

He pouted up at Brendan and reached for his cock. Brendan knew this tactic. Steven was hoping to persuade Brendan by pleasuring him.

"Do you want me to do you?" Steven asked but he didn't wait for an answer.

He got onto his hands and knees and smiled at Brendan before going down on him.

He had skills. Major skills.

Steven had a way of giving head that ripped at any sense of human civility that Brendan might have. It made him want to howl like an animal. It was the gusto with which Steven threw himself into doing it. He used his hands, tongue, soft yet tight lips, bumpy roof of mouth, stubbly outer cheek, smooth moist inner cheek to create an unparalleled sensation. He loved giving head and it showed.

His slightly watering eyes connected with Brendan's as he buried the Irishman's cock down his throat. Saliva leaked from the corners of his mouth and he groaned; the reverberation transmitted through Brendan making him shudder. Steven gagged only when he got to the last inch. He coughed as he lifted off and wiped his mouth while smiling broadly at Brendan.

He looked dead smug as if he had made a major accomplishment.

He licked the head of Brendan's dick, tasting the viscous precum at the slit then kissed the tip.

He whispered, "I want to do it."

Brendan cock twitched at the thought.

Who was he to say no?

He reached for his travel bag and was quick to bag and lube up. He got Steven to lie on his side and pushed the lad's top leg up so that his knee was close to his chest.

Brendan kissed him, tasting himself on the lad's tongue. Steven deepened the kiss until it transcended the physical and became something more. It felt like the most intimate of communications; like they knew exactly what the other was saying without words.

The lad sighed and rested his head on the bed. Brendan kissed down Steven's spine until his lips navigated to the globes of his butt.

He pushed Steven's bum cheeks apart and laid a flat tongue over his hole. No fanfare. Just finally giving Steven what he wanted. He delicately lapped at it. His tongue fluttered over the sensitive spot until he stopped being delicate and started being lustful and deliberate. The flutters became firm licks. He pierced into Ste imitating what his cock would do, paving the path. Making Steven go crazy with need.

Steven's teeth bit into and his hands gripped the bed sheets tightly. His muscles were in sharp relief from pent up energy. His hips undulated; rocking against Brendan's face. The action served a dual purpose. His cock brushed against the fabric of the bed sheet while his arse hole rubbed against Brendan's tongue.

Devine.

He was in a trance.

So when Brendan pressed the head of his cock against him he jolted slightly. Then he relaxed into the bed as he felt it push into him. He whimpered as that initial ring of resistance was breached.

He felt that welcome stretch. That fullness. He fisted his own cock rapidly while Brendan continued to plunge into him at a steady pace.

Fuck.

The lad was tight. So fucking tight. Brendan thought that Steven could have converted coal into diamonds with the pressure in his arse hole. How long had it been since he'd been last fucked?

Brendan pulled out and whispered,

"Relax, Steven." He gave the young man a kiss on the shoulder. "Push down on me."

{~}

Ste sighed when Brendan began to penetrate him again. He shuddered as he felt the bone juddering nudge against his prostate. He licked his lips and pushed down against the intrusion as Brendan suggested.

Brendan went deeper and Ste turned his head to see the concentration on the man's face as his thick cock disappeared into Ste's heat.

Inch by agonisingly slow inch.

Ste watched in a haze of passion as Brendan held onto his hips and set a delicious slow pace. Ste held onto Brendan's thigh encouraging his movements.

It felt so good.

Too good.

In a split second Ste went from thinking that he would come too soon to knowing he would come too soon. That was how turned on he was.

He pressed against the base of his cock and tried to calm himself out of an orgasm as Brendan thrust into him but it was no use.

"I'm going to cum." He whispered.

Brendan licked his exposed ear lobe.

"No you're not." He whispered before pulling out.

Ste nearly wept in disappointment at being so close yet so far.

He should have kept his mouth shut. He had forgotten that Brendan was a master at sweet torture.

The older man flipped him over onto his stomach and pushed right back into him. The shift in position was enough to give Ste a completely different sensation. This had to be the laziest position for a bottom. Ste was lying totally flat on his stomach with his knees far enough apart to let Brendan in. It felt good to literally lie down and enjoy the ride.

The feel of the Irishman in him was matched by the slap of flesh on flesh. Ste was sure it was loud enough to be heard outside but in the moment he did not care. His breath was snatched from him with every plunge. Brendan's chest rested flush against his back, slick with sweat and slipping over him. Their hands intertwined. Ste started making that sound that meant he was getting close once again.

No one had ever fucked him the way Brendan did.

With the Irishman it was all encompassing; felt from the ends of his hairs to the tips of his toes. Ste almost couldn't handle it. It was nearly too much for him to take.

"Fuck, you feel perfect." Brendan whispered at him.

Ste was too dazed to reply.

He learnt his lesson from the last time he felt himself about to cum. He bit on his lip as he felt his orgasm build. He wasn't going to announce it so that Brendan could take it away from him again.

Instead Ste invited it. He gripped Brendan's firm pumping butt to set a quicker pace. He pushed his arse up so that Brendan cock could bury in him deeper. He closed his eyes and whimpered,

"Faster."

And then nothing. Brendan moved away from him again.

"No!" He practically sobbed in dismay.

Brendan look cockily down at him.

"No?" The Irishman said. "No what?"

_No. _

_You're not letting me have release._

"Turn over, Steven."

He did and Brendan touched a hand over his heaving chest with its goose bumps.

"I'm feeling all tingly." Ste said.

Brendan smiled. "That's because of me."

Cocky git.

Ste was about to say something but Brendan distracted him by lifting Ste's legs up so that they rested on his shoulders.

They were actually shaking with need as Ste adjusted himself under Brendan and Brendan soothingly stroked them.

The older man brought their bodies together. Their warm breaths mingled. They kissed sensuously and unhurriedly until Ste felt Brendan's fingers find his hole. His breath quickened as Brendan rubbed him there.

This was cruelty.

He would need to have a word with Brendan about it afterwards. This delayed gratification. It was hateful. But then Brendan probably knew that if he fucked Ste now in the state he was in he would cum in a heartbeat.

Ste took matters into his own hands. He intensified their kiss and got caught up in playing his tongue against Brendan's; sucking it then flickering against it then meeting lips with lips then licking it.

He sighed when it looked like Brendan's teasing fingers were going to push into him and press against his prostate. But they didn't. They cajoled and enticed and made promises but they did not deliver so Ste moved Brendan onto his back and leisurely climbed over him.

He slid down Brendan's cock before the Irishman had a chance to stop him.

Ste rose and fell on it. Never had he felt so primed. He could feel every inch of Brendan; every engorged vein, the swell of his cock's head, the slight curve, the thicker base. All of it. He shuddered as he ground down on Brendan's body taking him all in.

He reached back to cup the man's furry balls with a hand and caressed and weighed them. He felt them respond by lifting closer to Brendan's body.

He rocked over Brendan slowly and forgot a time when they were separate entities because they felt completely moulded. He was moaning and whimpering and sighing.

He told himself to pipe down but he couldn't and he didn't and he didn't care. Not when Brendan was looking up at him the way he was and touching him the way he was.

Brendan's hands were almost rough on Ste; digging into his hips, gaining purchase and ploughing up into him. They skimmed over slick sweaty skin, pinched sensitive nipples and slapped pert buttocks to encourage Ste's hips into faster action.

Ste came unexpectedly and there was nothing Brendan could do about it.

His cum spilt all over Brendan's stomach, chest and the bed next to Brendan's shoulder. It had been a while so Ste made an almighty mess. He held onto Brendan as he rode out his orgasm.

His body quivered with pleasure. He smiled when he felt Brendan's strong arms envelop him.

"Jesus." Brendan whispered as he came too before kissing him fervently.

Ste couldn't move. He was breathless.

Exhausted.

Spent.

He collapsed over the taller man and closed his eyes. He rested his head into the crook of Brendan's neck and inhaled his scent.

"You're fucking incredible." Ste heard whispered into his ear in a low exhausted purr.

He didn't have the energy to reply verbally so he resolved to lightly lick then kiss a nipple.

It was enough. He got a sigh of appreciation in return.

Soon their heart beats began to slow but their body heat continued to radiate keeping them in an afterglow.

Any hesitation or ambivalence he might have had when he came back to this man's hotel room had quickly gone. Even now as he was coming off his climax he felt no regret.

This felt right.

This was the right man for him.

Those arms around his waist became exploratory, tracing up his back leisurely as if every sinew of muscle and overlying skin deserved equal time and attention.

"I love feeling your body against mine." Ste whispered.

A random post-orgasmic shudder unexpectedly ran through him prompting him to laugh softly in surprise. He still felt so turned on and oversensitive.

He sighed as Brendan's hands moved across his shoulders and down his arms until they reached his hands. The Irishman lifted one of them so Ste raised his head off Brendan's chest just enough to watch as their fingers intertwined.

He placed them palm to palm.

Even if they hadn't Ste knew that his hands were shorter and slimmer… but no less able.

He suddenly gripped both of Brendan's hands with his and with surprising force pushed them back onto the bed, pinning him down.

He got a huff in protest.

"You've still got energy?" Brendan asked.

"No. Yes." Ste gave him a small kiss.

He moved in for a kiss that took all the time in the world. He would do this all day if he could. Kissing like this got him thinking all manner of impure thoughts. These kisses were the gateway drug to immeasurable pleasures.

Ste passed his lips over Brendan's jawline. He used tongue and teeth to taste the saltiness and slight artificiality of aftershave. The hairs there were rough and course against his lips over a steady carotid heartbeat.

He murmured. "Your stubble feels like razors."

It wasn't a real complaint. Ste knew that if he waited a day for further growth the hairs would feel softer against his lips and skin.

Somehow Brendan's hands had worked themselves free of Ste's restraining ones. They were taking a journey down the dimples on Ste's lower back and over the swell of his buttocks.

They were possessive hands that gripped and kneaded his globes encouraging Ste into slow gyrations despite his exhaustion.

He embraced the sensations that the Brendan's body was giving him.

"Who has time to shave…?" The man's fingers traced over the circumference where he was still deeply and intimately connected with Ste. "…in this wilderness?"

"You're really into this, aren't you?" Ste moaned and felt a rush of blood to cock and ass as the man thrust into him unhurriedly.

A ferocious kiss led to a low growl and a mischievous reply. "Looks like it. I'd say balls deep."

"Brendan!" Ste punched the man in the arm. "You had to lower the tone!"

Brendan laughed as Ste slowly got off him and lay by his side.

"I was just saying the truth." Brendan said innocently and pulled him back for a kiss. Then he whipped the loaded condom off his cock and tossed it into the room's trash can.

"It's feeling cold now." He said looking at his penis.

Ste smiled and jumped off the bed. "Well then cover it up."

He threw a bed sheet over Brendan's lap but the Irishman pushed it off immediately. "Cover this work of art? No way!"

Ste looked at him from the side of the bed. He was lightly tracing the skin of his stomach, unselfconscious of his naked flushed body.

_I love you._

He was screaming it at the top of his lungs in his mind.

Brendan grinned at him; looking fifty shades of sexy.

"Are you looking at it?" He asked cheekily.

"No! God! Your ego!"

This was the moment where Ste could really fuck things up because he wanted to say,

'I'm looking at you because I love you.'

Doug's words of advice #12-

_You know when you get with someone and its thunderbolts and lightning? It's an amazing feeling but that doesn't mean that you have to scare the shit out of them by declaring your undying love and asking to move in and meet the family straight away. I'm saying this because I know you, Ste. You're the sort of guy who falls way too hard and loves way too deeply._

Ste got dressed quickly. Top and jeans. On in a flash. He needed to cool down for a minute.

He put on his shoes.

"Where are you going?" Brendan asked lazily, still too tired to move in the bed.

"Back in a sec." Ste said. "I'll fetch us some ice for drinks."

"Call room service." Brendan reached a hand out towards him and made grabby gestures to entice him back to bed.

"We are not supposed to be using room service. Remember. The staff retreat theme is 'Wilderness and Hardship'."

"I'm not sure how ice and liquor feature in wilderness and hardship." Brendan smiled.

Ste folded his arms across his chest. "Do you want me to get ice or not?"

"Yeah, why not. While you're there could you get some food too? Much obliged."

Ste made his way to the door. He had to make sure to be careful that no one saw him as he exited. Being caught coming out of Brendan's room would definitely get tongues wagging; something neither of them needed especially with what had just happened between them and Walker.

"There's one more thing." Brendan said just before Ste opened the door. "Something important."

"What's that?"

"Come here and I'll tell you."

Ste laughed when he was pulled back into bed and manhandled before getting one last kiss to see him on his way.

"Thanks." He said as he got off the bed again. "That was very important."

"I thought so."

Ste was still smiling as he opened the door and walked straight into Paul.

{~}

"Ste?"

Ste knew that he looked guilty as he quickly shut the door to Brendan's chalet behind him. "Oh hi, Paul."

His friend looked at him curiously.

"That's Brendan's room." The PA said, stating the obvious.

Ste looked back at the door as if it confused him.

As if he didn't know how he had come to standing outside the room where Brendan was still lazing around in bed waiting for Ste to bring back ice.

"Um. Yeah. It is." He said. "I can explain why I was in there."

"It's okay, Ste." Paul gave him a small smile. "You don't need to."

"Oh."

"You're looking all sweaty and flushed."

_The shame_.

Ste's body was betraying the fact that he was freshly fucked.

"It's… Brendan's room. He's got the heating on, the log fire. The place is like a furnace. It's ridiculous. So basically, the reason I were in there were … I, um, I had an idea for the rebrand. You know how creative ideas can disappear in a second if they aren't captured, right? So I went straight to Brendan to let him know what it were."

"You called him Brendan."

Ste blushed.

"He, uh, you know because we work together he said it's cool to call him that."

Ste felt flustered. His lying was atrocious.

"Where were you off to now?" Paul asked.

"Just the bar to fetch ice and then back to my room."

"Are you and Simon having drinks?"

Simon.

Shit.

Ste had completely forgotten about the man. He probably did need ice to nurse the injuries inflicted by Brendan.

"Yeah." Ste lied.

"I'll come with you. We could have a shot before you get back to him."

"Oh." Ste looked briefly at Brendan's door. "Okay. Just one though."

Thankfully the bar was virtually empty. Ste did not want to have to potentially explain questions about why he looked so 'aerobic'.

They sat on some barstools at the bar and Paul ordered their drinks while Ste ordered ice.

"Two vodka shots, mate."

Ste grimaced in anticipation. "I'm bad with vodka me."

"Do you want something else?"

"No. It's okay. It's just a shot."

They picked up their glasses and toasted before throwing their drinks down their throats.

Ste pulled a face as he put his glass down. "Urgh."

Paul laughed. "It's not that bad." He said as he tossed some cash on the bar.

"It is. Right." Ste stood up and took the ice. "Better go."

Paul took his hand. "Yeah. You should get back to Brendan before he starts wondering where you are."

Ste's face dropped. "What? Who?"

Paul smiled . "Mate. I know about you two. I've known for a long time. It's okay. I how it feels to have to keep a secret."


	25. Tiffany

**_Dear Folks,_**

**_Your comments are amazing as per usual! A_****_ll your theories are brilliant and some might be dangerously close to the truth... _**

**_: )_**

**_This is the first whodunit I have ever written so it has been a learning process for me. Getting feedback on how you react to what I write has been invaluable. Truly. _**

**_Just to give you a little insight I always knew who the perpetrator was going to be (obvs!) but then I had to throw in some red herring characters (obvs) but they had to be believable options/culprits. That was the framework that I began with. _**

**_I have just realised that the way that reads is as if this chapter finally reveals 'whodunit'. Breathe easy. It doesn't. But there are one, two or three reveals..._**

**_You know I think you're awesome, right?_**

**_Chips x_**

{~}

"Right." Ste stood up from his stool at the bar and took the ice bucket. "Better go."

"Yeah. You should get back to Brendan before he starts wondering where you are." Paul said.

Ste's face dropped. "What? Who?"

Paul smiled . "Mate. I know about you two. I've known for a long time. It's okay. I know how it feels to have to keep a secret."

Ste struggled to keep his composure as he realised that he and Brendan were busted. There were three routes to go. One. Denial. Two. Defensiveness. Three. Acknowledgement. Ste opted for the first option.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

He swallowed hard. The condensation that was forming on the cold bucket of ice in his hands reflected the sweat slowly falling down his temple; a residue of his earlier bedroom antics with Brendan and his fear of being caught out by his friend.

"Come off it." Paul said.

He pointed at Ste's t-shirt.

Correction.

Not Ste's.

Brendan's.

"Brendan was wearing that earlier." Paul said.

Ste blanched in realisation. He hadn't paid attention to the clothes he flung on. He should have realised that the top he was wearing was roomier than his had been.

"Shit." He muttered under his breath as he collapsed back onto his stool. "I can explain…"

Paul smiled sympathetically. "You're a shitty liar, Ste."

"Oh God."

Ste realised that there was no getting out of this.

Paul placed a hand on his shoulder. A gesture of comfort.

"Did you honestly think I didn't know you guys had history? You are so obvious at work. The way you act towards each other." Paul smiled.

Ste couldn't deny that but,

"No one else noticed." He said.

"Maybe not but it's my job to be tuned in to Brendan and his mood and also I was the one who bought the clothes that I've seen you wear a few times at work and those McQueen glasses!" Paul reached over suddenly and traced the skin around one of Ste's eyes with his index finger in a gesture that was unnecessarily intimate. "The glasses he told me he gave a 'friend'."

Ste blinked, moistening his contact lenses. "Oh. Is that what he said?"

"I didn't realise at the time that I was buying them for his secret boyfriend."

"You should have told me you knew." Ste said.

"Honestly? I thought that you were gearing up to telling me the truth since we were getting closer as friends. When you didn't I figured there must be a reason for your secrecy and I didn't want to push you and also I got the impression that you had moved on with Simon so I didn't think there was any point bringing up the past. But then I catch you coming out of Brendan's chalet…"

Ste didn't want Paul getting the idea that he made it his business to bed hop through senior staff so he leaned in closer to his friend, lowered his voice and wet his lips before saying,

"Um. What I am about to say, you can't tell anyone. Okay? Not even Guy or Mel."

Paul nodded.

Ste took another deep breath.

"Okay. I was never Brendan's boyfriend. I mean… before working for the corporation we were… seeing each other but, like, it weren't serious."

_At least not for him. _

"And then we called it a day. So when I got this job and we saw each other at work it were a bit of a surprise but we decided to be grown up about it. I started to hang out with Simon but the truth was I really liked Brendan. I just thought he didn't feel the same way." Ste smiled. "But apparently I were wrong because he came up this weekend to tell me that he… um, really liked me. So now Brendan and me, we kind of, you know…"

"Found each other again?" Paul said.

Ste nodded. He couldn't help his smile. "Something like that. Yeah. We found each other but it is dead new so, like, I would really appreciate it if you didn't say anything to anyone."

"I told you. I won't. And you know, I've told you before, if you want a friendly ear, I've got one right here." Paul pointed to his right ear.

"I'm sure you don't want your gay mate to chew your ear about his love life. You've got to have better things to do." Ste grinned as he stood up. "So anyway I should go back to him."

"Wait a second." Paul suddenly looked anxious. "Look. Um. You aren't the only one who's been carrying a secret."

Ste immediately felt worried as he took in his friend's drawn expression. "What's up?"

Paul cleared his throat. His eyes darted to the door of the bar, then the bartender, then the other patrons before looking at Ste again.

"I'm going to tell you because I think you'll understand but you can't tell anyone either."

"Paul, you're making me nervous."

Right at that second Melanie, her husband and Phil walked into the bar with a couple of other employees. They spotted Paul and Ste immediately and aimed for them.

Why did some people have such bad timing? Paul's face dropped and Ste felt uneasy as well. Faced with his work colleagues he realised the impact that his relationship with Brendan might have on his job and working environment if everyone were to find out.

"Hiya, lads." Melanie said. "Where's Simon?"

"In our chalet." Ste said quickly.

"Is he coming out?"

"No. I'm going back to him now actually."

"Fancy joining us for a drink before you scoot off?" Mel asked with a bemused smile as she observed Ste and Paul's frayed countenances.

"What's gotten into you two?" Phil asked them.

"Nothing." Ste looked uneasily at him.

They had partly reconciled their differences but Ste still didn't understand why his neighbour had reacted so harshly to the revelation that Ste was gay and/or with Simon.

"Nothing." Paul repeated. "I think I'm off to bed actually. Long day."

He quickly made his way out of the bar.

"Paul, wait up."

Ste followed his friend as they walked the path that led to the chalets.

{~}

"Wait, Paul!" Ste chased after his friend.

"Ste. No. Leave me alone." Paul said. "I shouldn't have said anything. I got carried away in a mood of sharing."

"Now you're really scaring me. Just tell me what's bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me. I made a big deal out of nothing."

"Okay. Okay." Ste said when he realised that he was not going to get anywhere by pestering. "At least promise me that you'll speak to someone tonight about whatever it is. Tiffany maybe?"

Paul looked blankly at him. "Tiffany?"

"Yeah. She'll listen, hen party or not."

Paul gave him a small smile. "Yeah. Good idea. Yeah. I'll do that. Just… this conversation never happened, yeah?"

"Okay. It never happened." Ste said. He was confused because Paul hadn't said anything that might be considered divulging information.

"Night, Ste."

"Night."

{~}

There was a knock on the door. Brendan walked to it dressed in his track suit bottoms and opened it.

"Sorry I didn't bring a key card." Steven said.

When he saw what the lad was wearing the mystery of his missing top was answered.

He let the young man in and said,

"It's okay. I went to see Walker to make sure he didn't need an ambulance. He'll live. I persuaded him that the best thing to do was to go back to Liverpool tonight unless he wanted you to press charges against him."

Steven shuddered. "I don't want to do that. I just want to put it behind me."

"He won't be messing with you again. I promise." Brendan tried to pull Steven into his arms but there was resistance so he dropped his hands. He frowned as he said, "I brought your things over. Thought you might not want to sleep alone tonight."

Steven didn't answer him and instead walked around Brendan, toed off his shoes and fell back into the large bed to stare blankly at the wall.

Brendan looked at him in confusion. "Where's the ice and food?"

Ste covered his eyes with his hands and sighed.

"What's wrong?" Brendan asked, finally tuning into the lad's mood. He sat down next to him and placed a hand on his thigh.

Steven faced him.

"Your PA knows about us." He said.

Brendan cocked his head. "Paul?"

Steven nodded. "He saw me come out of your room."

Brendan blinked slowly. His heart skipped a beat. "What did you say?"

"I couldn't deny it. I told him to not tell anyone and I don't think he will. He has known for ages that there was something between us because you used him to buy some of my gifts."

Steven reached out and caressed over the taller man's chest, playing with the dark hair there, as Brendan looked down at him. The action was absentminded, a bit like doodling when speaking to someone over the phone.

"We need to talk about how we'll be now. You know, with each other at work." The young man said.

"How do you want it to be?"

Brendan took Steven's hand and brought it up to his lips, placing a kiss in his palm.

"I'm not sure. I don't want this to affect work."

"No. True."

"I think if people know about us they'll assume things."

"What things?" Brendan murmured as he ran his fingers over familiar warm skin.

He should have been paying attention to Steven's concerns and he was but he was also keen to make up for lost time so he kissed up the lad's wrist and arm. He twisted his body round and crawled over Steven on the bed only to continue his trail of kisses until his lips reached the lad's shoulder.

"They'll think I'm a slut because I've been seeing Simon even though I never slept with him and now I'm with you."

Brendan smiled as he kissed Steven. Knowing that he hadn't gone the distance with Simon filled the Irishman with immeasurable joy.

"And also they'll think I'm only after you for your money, power and position."

"My money, power and position are quite impressive…" Brendan lightly bit over Steven's quickening pulse in his neck before sucking gently on the soft skin. God. He had to find a way to control himself with the lad because right now Steven was far too irresistible to him. "… So please tell me they're at least part of my appeal otherwise it's all been a waste of time."

He smiled.

Steven giggled. "It's not funny, Brendan. They'll call me a gold-digger!"

"You aren't a gold digger." Brendan growled against the lad's damp skin. _You make it impossible for me to lavish you with things. You're the opposite of materialistic._

Brendan placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He felt the lad's arms wind around his waist then his hands settled on Brendan's buttocks.

"No. But I am superficial." Steven murmured. "I think you look so hot. Confident and broody. And I think your bum is sexy."

Brendan sighed heavily and grinned. "It's not your fault. I have an arse that won't quit."

Steven smiled at that but then got serious again. "And they might find out about how we met. Can you imagine if they did, Brendan?"

Brendan stared down at him, combed his fingers through Steven's hair and stated the obvious,

"So what you're saying is…" Kiss on one cheek. "…telling them that I've gotten together with my ex-escort," Kiss on other cheek. "… and letting them know that I think he is incredible…" Tug on earlobe with teeth and then a suck. "… Is not a good idea?"

Steven pulled him down for a passionate kiss then said, "You think I'm incredible?"

"Did I say that out loud?"

"Yeah."

"Well then I must have meant it." Brendan whispered.

Ste said softly. "No one thinks I'm incredible."

Brendan smiled. "You are. Take the compliment."

"Okay. Thanks." Steven said as if only half believing Brendan.

That needed correcting; that lack of self-confidence. Brendan wondered where Steven had picked it up from. Someone had put him down in the past and made him feel like scum perhaps.

"Anyway. It's still a really bad idea to let anyone at work know about us." Steven whispered. "For both of us."

There was urgency to his tone that made Brendan wonder whether there was another reason why his employee wanted to keep their relationship quiet.

He was surprised at how much he did not like the idea. The problem was the possibility of chancers like Walker trying to dive in and try their luck with Steven meaning that Brendan would have to powerlessly stand back and watch while they flirted and came onto the lad.

None-the-less what Steven said made sense. Waiting allowed the dust to settle on his 'relationship' with Walker and also allowed a time lapse that buried evidence of Steven's escorting past.

"Okay." Brendan whispered as his hands crept over Steven's top and bunched up the material to expose his torso as he went along. "For now."

He placed a kiss on Steven's navel before giving him one long lick up his chest until he reached and kissed a pierced nipple.

The lad moaned and trembled with need but then pushed his top down reluctantly. "We're not done talking yet, Brendan."

"We're not?" Brendan hid a smile. "An hour has to be a record for a relationship sexual drought."

Steven smiled at up him with such gentleness that Brendan felt his belly summersault. "I want to explain why I left before we do..."

"Why you left?"

"Why I left you. The contract we had." He rested his hands on Brendan. "I want you to understand."

_Oh._

That.

Ridiculous how the memory of Steven's departure at the end of the dinner party still stung.

"You made it clear. You told me that I didn't make you happy."

Steven nodded as he traced his hands over Brendan's bare chest. "But I didn't tell you why."

"It's cruel to piss on a man after you've stabbed him to death, Steven."

"I really liked you." Steven said as he took one of Brendan's hands in his. "And every day that we were together I felt myself liking you more and more but I was sure that you didn't feel the same. I mean I knew you liked me but I thought it were just because we had fun when we, you know." Ste briefly looked at where their groins were flush to convey his meaning. "I didn't think you valued me. I thought that you thought that as long as you paid you could get what you wanted out of me. I hated the fact that you assumed that how I were with you were an act that I put on because it wasn't. I were just being me."

"I didn't just see you as an escort. That's the problem." Brendan whispered.

When Steven pulled away slightly he added,

"That came out wrong. I'm shit with words. Basically I felt like I was getting myself into trouble with you."

"Thanks." The lad said.

Brendan smiled and said, "Hear me out. I would look at you and I would think this. Here's this guy. I call him for his services. He does his job. I pay him. But every time he leaves I have these feelings and thoughts. So I try and figure out a way to see him more. I tell him that I don't want him to be with anyone else. That I'll pay him for that exclusivity. And I'm thinking- you're an idiot, Brendan, because the lad is just doing it because it's his job and you're paying him well. How desperate are you? So then I would act like a dick so I didn't feel like an idiot. But a dick is still an idiot."

Steven nodded thoughtfully as he continued a slow languid tactile exploration of Brendan's body. "I know how dumb it sounds but the way I've been with you at work is because I was your escort before. So every time you treat me slightly differently to everyone else, like give me something, I think that you're trying to buy me."

"I treat you differently because I like doing things for you."

Brendan groaned and then bit Steven's lower lip in response to the lad's hand roaming further south on his body.

The Irishman wasn't sure he was able to carry out a rational conversation if the lad did what it looked like he was planning to do.

"I like doing things for you too." Steven whispered as his hand reached Brendan's groin and began to stroke his shaft through the material for his tracksuit bottoms.

Brendan took a few deep breaths. "Good because it gets me going…," he groaned when Steven rubbed against the head, "… when I can make you smile."

Was this a 'talk' or foreplay? Brendan wasn't sure but as long as Steven wasn't complaining he encouraged the lad to slip his hand into his sweats to continue working his magic on his engorging cock.

"I won't be so funny about you giving me gifts then." Steven whispered then kissed him as he slowly jerked him off.

Brendan trembled at the sensation of Steven's hand on him. "The Apple store wouldn't take your last present back. They seem to have a problem with the fact that they could only re-sell it to people called Steven."

"I'm a Steven so."

"Are you saying you'll have it now?"

Steven looked up at him seriously. "Yes."

Brendan smiled. It was the way Steven looked at him. It was like being bombarded with warmth.

_You're fucked, mate. He has you by the balls and you don't even care, _He thought to himself. _Now_ _stop acting like a girl and fuck him silly._

He muttered against the soft skin just under Steven's collar bone. "Are we done talking now?"

Steven smiled as Brendan began to unfasten his jeans. "Yes."

Brendan gave him a sly look. "Then next time for my sanity please don't lie on my bed dressed in one my tops looking cute …" He sniffed down Steven's chest, "… smelling like we just fucked, lips begging to be kissed, trying to rub one out of me and conduct a serious conversation with me at the same time. A man's brain isn't designed for that."

{~}

There was some explaining to do on Sunday. Brendan was surprisingly good at giving an explanation for Simon's sudden night time departure.

Much like the day before he and Ste barely spoke to one another in the company of others.

In the afternoon, as the weekend drew to a close, there was a sense of camaraderie that had been forged from the tasks of the weekend. The retreat had done its job for another year and Ste was grateful that he had gone. It had given him a networking opportunity that was never normally given to regular staff.

Brendan remained quiet in the background while he got a few offers for a ride back to Chester. Eventually he settled for riding with Paul.

He said a hasty goodbye to Brendan in his chalet, then joined his mate in the hotel's car park.

"This is yours?" He said and let out a soft whistle of appreciation.

Paul's smile was embarrassed as he looked at his luxury sports car. "Yeah."

"I didn't know it paid so well to put up with Brendan!"

"I do okay. It's not like I have kids to think of or anything." He realised how insensitive that sounded. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I know what you mean. Kids are expensive." Ste said. "But worth it."

Paul patted him on the shoulder. "I'll take your word for it, mate."

They got in.

While Ste wasn't an expert on cars this _Jaguar_ looked top spec. How the hell did Paul afford it? The insurance had to be through the roof!

"Oh, by the way, I forgot to give you your phone back." Paul said. "I charged it up for you overnight."

"Thanks." Ste looked for messages. He didn't expect many. He had spoken to Amy and the kids on both Friday and Saturday.

There were three missed calls only. All from blocked numbers. No voicemail.

"Missed anything important?" Paul asked as he started them on their journey.

Ste said. "Blocked numbers."

"Hate those."

"I'll just call Ames and let her know that I'm on my way."

After he was done Paul said, "So you and Brendan, you look good together."

Ste looked over at his friend.

"I kind of caught you in a lip lock when you were saying bye." Paul said as a slow blush came over him.

Ste smiled. "Your cheeks have gone all red!"

"No they haven't!"

Ste teased, "Are you feeling all weird about your boss and your mate doing gay things together?"

"No!" Paul said. "This situation isn't awkward for me at all. It's not like I was having nightmares last night of walking in on you two doing it in Brendan's office! No! I am so cool about all this it's not even funny!"

Ste laughed, "You actually dreamed about that? That's kind of gay, you know. Imagining two guys together."

Paul gripped the steering wheel hard. "I know."

Ste's laugh died. "Huh?"

"I know that it's kind of gay."

"Oh." Ste said. He sat back and looked closely at his friend. "Wait. Huh?"

Paul drummed the fingers of one hand on the gear stick.

"Paul. What?"

"It's what I was trying to tell you last night in the bar, Ste. I'm not straight."

{~}

Brendan had an overwhelming need to share so he called his sister.

"Chez?" He said into the quiet of his SUV as he powered down the motorway heading back to Chester.

"Just a second, Bren." His sister's voice carried through the speakers, filling the silence of the car. "I am savouring the fact that you phoned me and not the other way round for once. It's like a miracle or something."

"Yeah, well. Don't get used to it."

Cheryl laughed. "So what can I do you for? Where are you anyway?"

"Driving back from Scotland."

There was a pause. "Are you telling me you went in the end?"

Brendan couldn't help but smile. "Yep."

"Well, go on then! Tell me what happened?! And don't leave out any details."

"Arrived. Slept in a tent. Thumped Walker. Got Steven. Slept in a chalet. Job done." He smiled.

"Alright, Tarzan!" She said. "You can stop beating your chest!"

"It may have been a little tougher than I've just explained."

"I know you're a man of few words."

"Thought I'd let you know since you've been on my case about him for a while."

He found himself smiling as he remembered how that morning they had fooled around. Then Steven had casually draped over him, reached for Brendan's phone and entered in his house number under his contact details.

'_Just in case you want to get me at home or whatever.'_

"You know what; you are sounding like a different man. All happy and stuff!" Cheryl said merrily. "If I was there with you I'd give your cheeks a squeeze!"

"Please." Brendan groaned.

"Brendan."

"Yep."

"Don't fuck it up."

{~}

"You're gay?!" Ste said in shock.

"Not exactly." Paul said. "I like what I like."

Oh jeez.

"You're bi?"

"Guilty." Paul almost looked apologetic.

Ste shook his head in surprise. "So like how far one way are you?"

Paul shrugged. "Depends. If I'm with a bloke I'm pretty far down one way and if I'm with a girl then-"

"No. Wait but right now you're with Tiffany. Right? I've seen pictures."

"Tiffany's an ex. She's a mate now."

"What?"

"Those pictures are clipped from nights out. I don't have a girlfriend."

Ste shook his head as he remembered all the times that Paul came up with a reason why he couldn't meet his girlfriend. He recalled how Guy always insisted that Paul was 'setting' his 'gaydar off big time' while Ste got no vibe off him at all.

It was so obvious in retrospect.

"I don't get it. Why lie about something like that?"

"Other than the fact that some people think that bisexuality isn't a thing?" Paul seemed to clam up. "It's necessary."

"You're kidding, right? In this day and age?"

"Yes."

"It's okay to be out." Ste said.

"I have a reason why I'm not."

"What is it then?"

"It doesn't matter. The point is that to me it's worth it." Paul said. "When I realised about you and Brendan it was good to know that I wasn't the only one keeping big secrets. I thought I'd found someone that I could talk to who wouldn't judge me."

"I'm not lying about my sexuality though."

"No. But you're hiding who you really care about from the world. We're not so different."

Ste lifted an eyebrow. "Are you saying you are with someone?"

Paul smiled. "Nosy."

"That's a yes then. Is it a man or a woman?"

"You'll probably never know." Paul cleared his throat. "After a while you get used to living a double life."

_That's so true_, Ste thought.

From being the victim of violence to being an escort to being on the receiving end of malicious mail Ste knew all about displaying himself one way in public while hiding who he truly was and felt.

"Are you happy at least?" Ste asked.

"Yes." Paul said emphatically but his eyes held a tinge of doubt. "Mostly."

"I don't know. It seems like a big sacrifice to make."

Paul shrugged. "So are you going to tell me what happened with Simon last night?"

"You don't want to know."

{~}

By the time they got to Chester it was night time.

Paul declined Ste's offer of a cup of tea so Ste furtled in his travel bag for his house keys.

His mate tapped him on his shoulder and whispered,

"Mate, there's a guy over there staring at us."

Ste found his keys and then looked up.

"Where?"

Paul frowned.

"He's gone. He was over there a second ago." He pointed at one of the neighbour's gardens. "He must have gone into his house."

Ste shrugged. "They're a nosy lot here. They're probably wondering why there is a flashy car parked outside my place!"

Paul shuddered. "Creep. He was half in the shadows."

Ste smiled. "Are you sure you don't want to come in for tea."

"No. I've got to get going."

"Meet up with your secret boyfriend/ girlfriend?"

"Bye, Ste." Paul said not giving anything away.

Ste smiled as he got out of the car and walked up the path to his front door.

As Paul drove off, Ste saw Phil's car pull up into his drive so Ste rushed into his house before having to speak to him.

He was met by a wall of Amy, Doug and Benji.

He groaned. He hoped that he would have at least had a night's sleep before having to explain what happened during the weekend to his friends.

{~}

"So, yeah. That's what happened." Ste said as he finished his account of events then defiantly waited for his friends' reactions to his revelations about Brendan, Walker and the stalker.

"So on Friday you were dating Simon." Amy said quietly. "And now you are going out with Brendan. Have I got that right?"

That was worrying her more than the vicious phone call he received and the skipping stones?

"So you aren't bothered about the stalker?" Ste said incredulously. "I could have been standing right next to him next to a body of water, Ames. He could have thrown me in!"

"Of course I'm worried. That's why we're going to the police station after this."

Ste rolled his eyes.

"Until then let me get this straight. You are dating a different man to the one you went up to Scotland with."

Ste swallowed hard then nodded.

He counted slowly in his head waiting for the inevitable outburst…

One.

Two.

Three.

"You WHAT!" Amy raised her voice in distress. "Ste! Brendan is an ex-client!"

"I know."

"But do you?!"

"Yes!"

"Oh my GOD!" She turned to look at Doug and Benji in despair. "Am I the only one who thinks this is messed up?"

"No." Doug said.

"But if it's what Ste wants then we should be happy for him." Benji said kindly.

Ste gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks, Benji."

"That's not helpful, baby." Doug said to his boyfriend.

"Who are we to pick and choose who Ste decides to go out with?" Benji said. "Look at what happened with Simon. We all thought he was the bee's knees and he turned out to be a right twat thinking that he could sleep with Ste provided the price was right."

Doug and Amy stayed quiet.

Amy sighed. "But I don't get it. It seemed as though he really liked you. What got into him?"

"I don't know." Ste shuddered as he thought about how Simon's behaviour had flipped like a switch. "But you wouldn't have liked him last night."

"Not from what you're saying. I wonder how he found out about the escorting." Doug said.

"Does it matter? He was aggressive and threatening and also, if I'm honest, he was more like a mate anyway. I mean I fancied him but it wasn't like with Brendan." Ste felt all hot and bothered thinking about the Irishman. "I am not asking you to like him even though that would be nice. I am telling you that I am giving it a shot with him because he makes me happy. He told me that he loves me for who I am. Isn't that amazing?"

Ste knew he was smiling like an idiot. He didn't care.

He saw the looks of scepticism and concern on his best friend's faces. He didn't care about that either.

{~}

"Morning, boss." Paul said as he entered Brendan's office on Monday morning while Brendan worked industriously at his desk. "The retreat looks like it has done you a world of good."

"I suppose I should thank you for keeping that chalet on ice for me." Brendan said.

Paul grinned. "It's all in a day's work. Do you reckon you'll come to the next retreat?"

"No chance!" Brendan looked up from his desk while his PA sat down opposite him and slid over a mug of coffee.

"I thought as much." Paul said with a grin.

"What's the week looking like?"

"It's a busy one." Paul flicked his hand over the touchscreen of his tablet. "You've got two projects approaching crossroads. They both need your final say. Kilner and the corporate rebrand. Melanie asked me to make a meeting with you and her team at some point. I've scheduled you in for Wednesday. _Lionel and Swift_ will be ready to pitch their final drafts on Thursday. A few other bits and pieces. I've forwarded the timetable to you and will keep you up to date with any changes."

Brendan sipped his hot drink. "Sounds good. Anything this morning?"

"Uh yeah. Actually." Paul looked uneasy. "I know you hate it when he does this but Simon called. Told me that he is on his way over. He wanted to see you. I tried putting him off but-"

Brendan was livid but he said. "It's fine. I need to talk to him anyway. And Paul, just so you know this will be the last time I expect to see Simon Walker on_ Clover Corp _soil. Let security know that he is no longer to be allowed in after today's visit."

Paul nodded solemnly. "Okay. Sure. Is there a reason I should give them."

"No."

"I'll let him through as soon as he arrives then." Paul made his way to the office door.

"One more thing."

"Yes."

"Steven told me that you know."

Paul looked blankly at him. "Know? I don't know what you are talking about."

Then he gave Brendan a wink.

Brendan smiled. "Attaboy."

"Let's get this week started, boss."

{~}

"So I want to hear all the goss." Guy sat on Ste's desk, preventing the lad from doing any work. "Because news is filtering down that the big man himself turned up for a bit of _Wilderness and Hardship_."

"He did." Ste said and cleared his throat and looked anywhere but his friend and unfastened the top button on his shirt.

Was it suddenly really hot in the room? He felt like Guy was probing his mind. Reading his thoughts.

"So what was it like?"

"Fine. Yeah. Beautiful spot."

"Did you and Simon 'get it on'?" Guy asked suggestively.

"No." Ste coughed. "Actually we broke up. So."

"What! No!" Guy pouted. "Why?"

"We didn't gel."

"Really? It looked like you were gelling just fine."

"But we weren't though."

"That's a shame."

"Not really. It were good to get back on the dating scene but being with Simon, it made me realise that he is not what I really want."

Guy smiled. "Look at you! That smile! Something's different! What gives?"

"Different how?" Ste asked.

"I don't know. You tell me. Are you sure you didn't get nasty with the bad boy?"

"How do you think that just by looking at me?"

"What can I tell you? I'm good at reading people." Guy said. "I'm a people watcher."

"Well you're wrong. Nothing happened between me and Simon."

{~}

"You have some nerve coming here." Brendan said the minute Walker stepped into his office. He stood up and rounded his desk.

The Brummie's face was busted; bruised and swollen from Brendan's attack.

"I am not here to fight. I wanted to explain what happened with Ste." Walker said as he started to lower himself into a chair.

"Don't bother to sit down. You've got five minutes and then I never want to see you again, Walker."

"Fuck's sake, Brendan. How long have we known each other? You're honestly going to sentence me without a trial and lose all the business I bring your way because of what happened?"

"I know what I saw. You are lucky that he doesn't want to press charges because if I had things my way you would be answering to the law."

"Shit. You've gotten back together with him haven't you? You are a foolish man." Walker said in disbelief.

Brendan could feel his blood boil.

"Okay. Fine. Five minutes." Walker said. "The truth is I don't know what came over me. I liked the lad but he had been stringing me along for weeks; giving me just enough to think I had a chance. He as much as told me that this weekend we would seal the deal. He was a cock tease, Brendan."

Brendan had already had enough but he wasn't about to assault the Brummie again so he walked to the office door and peered out to tell Paul,

"Call security. I want Walker escorted out as soon as possible."

Paul said. "Right away. Are you okay in there?"

He cracked his knuckles as they curled into fists.

"Down boy." Brendan said. "Everything is fine."

He closed the door once again and faced his business associate.

Walker pleaded. "I just don't get why he had such a problem with my offer."

Brendan grabbed the collar of Walker's shirt into a fist and sneered at him at point blank range. "Shut up. Shut up right now. You cannot justify forcing yourself onto him."

"I didn't. He consented. I gave him an offer and he accepted."

"You blackmailed him."

Walker released a short sharp laugh that blew cigarette breath in Brendan's direction.

"You paint him out to be a saint. You seem to have forgotten that he was a prostitute, Brendan. He was a pro who had a fat portfolio of twelve rich clients some of whom he had been seeing for over a year. All flavours of man. Black, white, Arab, Italian, couples, married men with families. All willing to part with some serious cash for his services. And you. You might want to forget his past but that is what he is capable of doing, screwing around with people and potentially fucking up families. So don't make this black and white and me into the villain of the piece."

Brendan frowned. He released his hold on Walker a bit. "How do you know all that?"

"What?"

"About his clients. Did he tell you?"

"Of course not."

Security rushed into the office. One guard restrained each of Walker's arms.

Paul was right behind them looking on curiously.

Walker shook himself out of the security guards' hold and said, "Relax lads. Let's be civilised, yeah?"

Brendan gave them the nod to give him an inch of room. "Who told you?"

"One of his friends if you can call him that. This lad, he told me …" Walker looked at Paul and the guards before gazing meaningfully at Brendan.

Brendan said. "Paul, I need you to step out for a second."

His PA did as instructed and shut the door behind him. The guards maintained poker faces and kept a close eye on Walker.

"Go on." Brendan said.

"This friend of … Caden's said that Caden was playing hard to get; that that was his thing and that he had told this friend that actually he was really into me. This 'friend' also said that Caden still supplementing his pay check with a his previous 'job' so if I was willing I could always offer him a 'deal'. So when Caden went ape shit over the weekend at my propsal I was shocked. Whoever that friend is has a screw loose."

"What was his name?" Brendan asked as he felt a ripple of anger. "This friend."

"Can't remember. I only met him once at your club in town. Young guy. Jet black hair. Rake thin. Was dating an American guy who said he was an artist whatever that means."

Brendan remembered the cocky waif-like creature who had intercepted him at _Large_; a boy who looked like he couldn't hurt a fly but had an acid tongue.

'_I was worried that maybe you only bought his art work to further a business deal or to impress your whore so it's good to know that's not why you did it.'_

Walker shrugged. "If you don't mind I've got a couple of people I'd like to say bye to on my way out."

"Not him."

Walker grinned. "Whatever you say. You've got my number if you change your mind."

{~}

Brendan briskly walked to his car at the end of the day. The senior staff's car park was empty with rows of fluorescent tubes casting bright, white and eerie light on the grey tarmac and creating shadows out of the structural pillars of grey cement.

His eyes played a trick on him; probably a symptom of working too long and hard today. For a split second he thought he saw a human shadow cast on the ground but it was gone the second he blinked. It gave him the disconcerting feeling that he was not alone in the vast empty space.

When he saw Steven leaning on his SUV he realised that he wasn't alone. He smiled as he approached the lad, hopping over a metal drain in his path without looking down it.

"I don't want you waiting out here for me alone." Brendan said. "It's not safe. There are car thieves about."

"I thought you'd like the surprise." Steven pouted.

Brendan smiled. "I do."

He plastered Steven to the car and swooped in for a kiss.

"Jesus, Bren!" Steven smiled after they parted breathlessly. "Are you scared that an evil clown will come out of them drains and hurt me?"

"It could happen."

Steven laughed as he wrapped his arms over Brendan's shoulders. "Yeah. Right."

"So to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Obviously I wanted to see you." Steven said.

"Obviously."

"But also Ames has the car today so I thought I'd grab a ride with you." He gave Brendan a shit eating grin.

"I charge for chauffeuring services."

"I'll pay anything you want."

Brendan raised an eyebrow, looked around them to make sure they were definitely alone then pushed his body into the lad's, trapping him against the car.

"There is no one else here." He whispered, less than an inch away from the lad's mouth. "Do you know what that means?"

"That we're all alone." Steven said softly.

"I always knew you were clever." Brendan teased him with the intention of a kiss only to pull away before delivering it. "I've always fantasised about having sex in a car. FYI my car is very roomy."

"Like you haven't had sex in a car before!"

Brendan frowned. "I haven't."

His sexual repertoire had been far from vanilla but car sex was something that he hadn't gotten round to.

Looking at Steven now it was obvious that the lad had cleared that sexual level a while ago. Suddenly Walker's words seemed to carry weight. Steven was someone with a past and a very colourful sexual one at that.

The silence that followed was uncomfortable.

Steven stroked his hair gently then kissed Brendan on the cheek.

"Do you want to?" The lad asked almost tentatively. "Do it… in your car?"

Brendan pulled himself away. What had felt like a great idea just a second ago suddenly held no appeal. Thoughts of Steven doing it with others distracted and detracted.

"Not tonight." Brendan said and rounded the front of the car to get behind the wheel.

After a pause Steven sat on the passenger side. Brendan started the car and drove out of the car park. What followed was a sombre mood. Steven stared down at his nails with a downturned expression.

The silence dragged on as they drove until Steven spoke softly,

"Why don't you just talk to me instead of giving me the silent treatment?"

Brendan didn't look at him. Couldn't.

"I know what you are thinking. You are wondering who I slept with in a car? Am I right? And you're probably thinking what else have I done and who with."

Brendan turned to face him after pulling up to a stop on the side of a road. He saw the unspent tears in the lad's eyes.

"I'll tell you if it makes you feel better." Steven said. "If you want me too. I'll tell you every last detail but I can't change what's happened in the past, Brendan. So if you can't take it and move on like I am trying to then please tell me now because I can't stand the way you are looking at me right this second."

Brendan cleared his throat. How could he explain that how he was feeling was less about Steven and more about himself?

He leaned in and gave the lad a kiss. A slow one. Not sexual as such. More sensual. Brendan was trying to explain himself. What he had felt was upset and perhaps a bit jealous. He didn't think Steven was loose, easy or slutty or whatever was swirling around the lad's mind. He was angry that the lad's sexual experiences had been forged out of sexual transactions with men who hadn't really cared about him beyond his function to get their rocks off. Men that were like Brendan had been.

That fucked Brendan off no end; that the man in front of him had been used like that.

Steven blinked at him uncomprehendingly so Brendan gave him a smile. "I was thinking you could come over tomy place and have takeaway before you go home. You like Moroccan, don't you?"

Steven's watery smile came with a sigh of relief. "Yeah. I love it."

{~}

"You should just stay over tonight." Brendan said casually as they walked from his parking spot to the front of his apartment.

"Can't. It's my turn to get the kids off to school tomorrow." Ste said.

Brendan slid a hand over his butt. "Are you sure?"

"Stop that!" Ste said.

"Don't know what you're talking about!" Brendan smiled then slapped his bum for good measure as they walked the last few steps to his front door.

"Yeah, you do!" Ste said but he had lost Brendan's attention.

The Irishman was looking at something in the middle distance, frowning.

"Someone's staring at us." He mumbled and put some physical distance between him and Ste.

"That's weird. Paul said the same thing last night at my place. Scotland's made you both paranoid. It's probably a homophobe. Whatever."

"No. I'm serious. Look."

Ste felt a ripple of trepidation as he followed Brendan's eye line to a spot across the road.

_I am watching you._

Through the shadows a familiar figure emerged. Ste stumbled backwards as the purest form of fear ran through him.

"Do you know him, Steven?" Brendan asked.

Ste backed away slowly. "Yes! Shit!"

"Ste!" The man called out as he jogged over to them.

The instinct of self-preservation kicked in. Ste broke out into a sprint that took him into the street in the opposite direction of his chaser.

{~}

"Wait, Ste!" The man called out as he too started to run at full speed.

Brendan intercepted him, grabbing the man by his waist and pushing him down to the ground.

He looked down at a young man at his feet. He could only be described as a scally; baseball hat, faded grey tracksuit, old trainers, a faint whiff of the unwashed about him.

Brendan's initial feeling was that Steven had recognised an ex-client but this man did not fulfil the brief.

"Who the fuck are you?" He asked the young man.

"I could ask you the same question, mate." The lad spat back at him with a strong scouse accent.

Brendan pushed a foot against the man's chest. "You could but I don't think you are in any position to get cocky, do you?"

One of the barbers from the shop under Brendan's apartment came up to him and looked down at the lad.

"I saw what happened, sir. Do you want me to call the police? Was he trying to steal from you?"

Brendan took his foot off the lad and helped him to stand. "No. It's fine. It was a misunderstanding."

The barber reluctantly walked back into his shop clearly miffed that his chance of being part of something exciting for the day was dashed.

"Look, I'm not after nothing, yeah." The young scally told Brendan anxiously. "I just want to talk to Ste. He done me wrong and I want to know why."

"I'll ask you one more time. Who are you?" Brendan sneered. He looked around briefly but Steven was nowhere to be seen.

Whoever this lad was he had terrified the shit out of Steven.

"Caden. My name is Caden."


	26. Caden II

_**Hi Folks,**_

_**This chapter... omg. It nearly killed me. I think you'll see why once you've read it, if not then you're made of stone! It's is a long one because I am going to be leaving Safe for a short hiatus while I finish PN. **_

_**See you with Chapter 26 right here in about two weeks time.**_

_**Hard M- for violence (also sex and language but what's new there, am I right?!)**_

_**Hugs,**_

_**Chips.**_

_**P.S. Regarding your comments and reviews. It is as if a few of you are in my head (get out!). As usual I love the theories and I'm also enjoying the frustration some of you are experiencing at the lack of resolution (is that sick of me to admit that?). But frustration is good because once y'all know then the end is nigh...**_

_**{~}**_

"I'll ask you one more time. Who are you?" Brendan sneered. He looked around briefly but Steven was nowhere to be seen.

Whoever this lad was he had terrified the shit out of Steven.

"Caden. My name is Caden."

Brendan was taken aback. Was the kid hinting that he knew about Steven escorting for him? Why was he using Steven's escort name?

"Are you trying to be clever, little man? Are you?" Brendan sneered.

His hands balled into fists.

"What do you mean?" The kid looked confused.

Brendan snapped. His hand was round the man's throat in no time putting just enough pressure on it to show intent; any fear of legal repercussions was shelved in favour of anger at being messed about.

"Shit!" A look of fear entered the lad's eyes as he looked around hoping someone would help.

But humans were funny. They generally preferred to mind their own business especially where trouble was concerned.

"What. Is. Your. Name?" Brendan said slowly.

"Has anyone ever told yous has an anger management problem?" The young man choked out fretfully as he tried to dislodge Brendan's hand. "I know it's a shit name but it's mine. Honest."

Brendan studied the lad closely for signs that he might be lying. He actually looked like he might be saying the truth so Brendan released him.

Caden gasped and rubbed his throat sorely.

"Fucking 'ell." He mumbled as he straightened himself out.

He glanced at Brendan then in the direction that Steven had run off. He growled when he realised Steven was nowhere to be seen.

He looked back at Brendan. His appraisal of the Irishman was calculating; sly, quick eyes perusing Brendan under the wide brim of his hat. The man's expression slowly morphed to one of appreciation. He nudged his head at Brendan.

"You's lookin' boss, fella." He tipped his hat back so that he could give Brendan a proper look. "That clobber must have cost ya a mint. What are you doing with that meff?"

Caden indicated in the direction Steven had disappeared.

_Meff_? No one could call Steven a meff and certainly not a man who embodied the definition; smelly and badly clothed as Caden was.

Brendan couldn't figure out who this lad was to Steven. He didn't look like someone Steven would associate with.

"So do you know where Blue has gone?" Caden asked casually.

"Blue?"

"Ste. The guy yous was with just now. I call him Blue." The young man said. "On account of his eyes."

Moments like this highlighted that while Brendan felt he knew the core of whom Steven was, they were a long way from uncovering the full spectrum of each other's pasts.

"Why do you want to know?" Brendan asked.

"The little gobshite mugged me off to the bizzies." Caden said angrily. "Told them that I were sending him hate mail. As if."

_WHAT?!_

"You were sending Steven hate mail."

"No! Jesus." Caden took his hat off for a second to run a hand through his greasy hair in frustration before putting it back on. "I said it weren't me and the 5-0 cleared me 'cause it couldn't be me so now Blue needs to know to back off. Yeah? He's fucked with the wrong guy and-"

Brendan pushed a hand into the lad's chest firmly, shutting him up.

"What hate mail is he getting?" He asked.

Caden kissed his teeth then said, "Apparently some freak's been mailin'im shit for months about how he's scum and how they're goin' to kill'im. Like I said, I didn't do nothing though. They couldn't even get me on the robbery charge. Detective Rollins said she'd told him so now I want to tell'im. He needs to know that I'm not going to take him talking shit about me."

"Someone's out to _kill_ him?" Brendan repeated.

Caden must have got that wrong. Steven couldn't have been living with that fear for so long.

Caden got impatient. "Look, fella, I ain't got time for this. I need to find Ste."

"No chance. You aren't going anywhere near him." Brendan shook his head as his face hardened. "From what you're saying the police arrested you for two crimes. Am I right?"

"Yes but I was cleared. You listening?" Caden spoke to Brendan as if he was thick.

"I'm listening and what I'm hearing is that there is no smoke without fire. There's a reason you were charged. I don't know you but I'm going to make a stab at it being on account of your character or something you have done in the past. So I'm thinking that if I picked up the phone and called Chester police and told them that you were harassing Steven now that they might be interested to hear that. Am I right?"

"Okay, mate." Caden visibly backed up. "Okay. Let's calm down, yeah. Let's talk."

"Let's." Brendan said. "Tell me how do you know Steven?"

Caden looked uneasy as his eyes darted this way and that avoiding Brendan's glare. "We… hung out in the past."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Caden licked his lips. "Ey, why are you interested? What's with yous and him anyway? I saw you. Yous was looking tight."

"I'm the one asking the questions_._" Brendan said firmly.

Caden looked like he was backed into a corner. "Blue and me, we rolled together."

"Rolled together?"

What did that mean?

"Yeah. We, uh." Caden pushed his hat down so that it almost completely covered his face like a mask. "We was doing what yous lot looked like you wanted to be doing just now when I saw you from across the street." He showed his face again. "I think you know what I'm talking about."

Brendan knew exactly what he was talking about. He had wanted to do all kinds of things with Steven as they were approaching his apartment.

Looking at Caden properly, Brendan could see beyond the air of desperation, the crappy clothes, and the faint whiff about him. The man was a good-looking if edgy.

And dangerous.

And perhaps older than he had seemed at first glance, maybe late twenties early thirties. The attire made him appear younger.

"You two dated." Brendan said seeking clarification.

"Jesus!" Caden was enraged. "What do I look like to yous? A fairy or summat! Fuck! I told you. We rolled together!"

The man was quick to anger. It was unsettling to witness.

'_I can't take all the credit. I should thank my mum, step-dad and my ex for making me good at putting up walls.'_

Was this the ex-boyfriend Steven had alluded to? If he was then whatever relationship they had terminated badly. Steven was petrified of the man.

"I don't want you get anywhere near him again." Brendan told Caden.

"Oh, come on!"

Brendan reached for his phone as if ready to make a call to the police.

"Fine." Caden said in defeat as he looked at the Irishman's mobile. "I'll leave him alone. There is something that might help me stay away." He rubbed his tip of his thumb against his the tips of his index and middle fingers in the universal sign of cash.

"I'm only saying because I can see that yous doin' well for yourself." He perused Brendan's tailored suit and designer shoes and you care about Blue."

Was the lad having a laugh? He was trying to extort money from Brendan.

"You a fairy too?" Caden asked then nodded as if answering his own question. " 'Cause he always was."

Brendan gritted his teeth.

"I'm going to count to three."

"No need. I'm gone. Just one thing first though, yeah? A word of warning from a friend." Caden grinned. "He shows his best side first but give it a bit and he'll become a paranoid, nagging fuck. When he gets like that there is only one thing guaranteed to make him stop and it ain't flowers."

He ran off into the night before Brendan could ask what he meant by that.

The encounter was disturbing but he had no time to dwell on it. He needed to track Steven down so he called his mobile and waited while it rang.

As he waited he thought about the information he had amassed about the young man who was now employee and lover. The slip of paper in Steven's wallet with a detective's phone number. The mysterious spiking of his drink resulting in his hospitalisation. His needlessly low self-esteem. An overheard conversation between him and the police outside Brendan's office. His nasty ex, Caden. Evidence that he had been frantically searching for something in his hotel room in Scotland. The skipping stones he wrongly accused Brendan of throwing. Using his ex's name as his escort name. His apparent friend Benji's disturbing, destructive and disloyal behaviour. His estrangement from his parents. The human shadow in the staff car park that Brendan saw. Noah saying that there were two reasons why Steven was in a living hell; Brendan and something else. If Caden could be relied upon as an accurate source then the hate mail and death threats had to be the other reason.

The call on went through and Brendan said,

"Steven, where are you?"

"This isn't Steven."

{~}

"This isn't Steven." Doug said, speaking into Ste's phone.

Ste was curled up on his friend's sofa in his tiny apartment and watched Doug, who was standing next to him, speak to Brendan with trepidation.

Doug mouthed to him,

"Why does he call you by your full name?"

Ste shrugged. He wasn't sure why Brendan called him Steven but he liked it, loved it actually. It was something unique to the Irishman… and Amy when she got pissed off with him.

An aberrant tremor of fear rocked his body as he looked at Doug.

"Yeah. That's me. His artist friend that you saved from imminent starvation and I hear you're his new boyfriend." Doug said with a smile into the handset and looked over at Ste.

Ste winced at the term. Why did Doug have to say that? It wasn't like they had defined their relationship yet. He didn't want to jump the gun on what to call what they were.

Doug continued to speak with Brendan on the phone.

"Sorry, Ste doesn't want to speak to you tonight … No. He's fine. Just a little spooked after what happened … I know. He told me … Yeah… thanks for the advice and everything but I got it. He's my friend so I know how to handle things…. Of course I know about that scumbag…. Um. No. I think he'd prefer to stay over here with me tonight. No offence..."

He covered the phone and whispered to Ste,

"He is saying he wants to come over to see you and make sure you're okay."

Ste shook his head emphatically.

Doug spoke into the phone. "Sorry. It's definitely a no go for tonight, dude. It's been good talking to you though."

He put the phone down before he got a reply from the Irishman.

"He actually sounded really worried about you." Doug said with surprise as he palmed Ste's phone.

"You should have seen me, Doug. One minute we were fooling around walking to his place. The next I was running down the street like that Usain Bolt off the Olympics. He must think I'm a right wack job."

"Now that I've spoken to him and heard him talk about you he doesn't seem like the predatory, lecherous, perverted, self-loathing, capitalist asshole with a God complex that I made him in my head."

"That's what you thought of him?"

"Yeah." Doug said sheepishly. "Kinda. I thought he might turn out to be a more polished version of Caden but non-criminal, with an Irish accent and nice clothes."

"He is nothing like Caden. I feel safe when I'm with him."

Doug asked. "Have you told him about what happened between you and that douchebag of an ex?"

"No. Like I wasn't going to tell him when he were just my client or my boss. And I didn't want to scare him off with my baggage straight away. We only got together properly at the weekend. I couldn't say, 'Oh by the way, Brendan, I have a seriously fucked up ex and also someone out there is threatening to kill me. We can get back to the kissing now.' "

Doug smiled and lifted one of his crazy brows. "First off, I don't for a minute believe that you restrained yourself to a bit of kissing with that hunk of man at the retreat and secondly, I get it. What you went through isn't something that slips off the tongue early in a relationship but you'll have to tell him something sometime."

"I know." Ste groaned then remembered.

"Oh by the way before I forget, I can get the monsters off to school tomorrow for you and Ames. I'm not working until ten so that's one less stress for you."

"Are you sure? Thanks. They'll love getting a ride with Uncle Dougie."

His phone went off again.

Doug smiled. "Your boyfriend's a persistent one. Do you want to speak to him this time?"

"No. Not yet. You talk."

"Okay."

"But don't go on about us being boyfriends or whatever. It will freak him out."

"He told you he loved you, Ste. How is saying you're boyfriends going to scare him away?"

Ste shrugged as he looked down. "I dunno."

But he knew why. A memory informed him of why it was bad to 'put a label on things'.

{~}

"_What did you said to that shopkeeper in there, Blue?" Caden asked congenially. _

"_Nothing." Ste said._

_Caden's smile was forced. "It weren't nothing."_

"_No. Sorry. It were a slip of the tongue." Ste said as his dread mounted._

"_So you're saying it's your tongue's fault? What you said to the lady." Caden smiled and led the way into an empty alleyway. "Come 'ere then."_

"_I'm sorry, Caden. It won't happen again." Ste stood at the mouth of the small pedestrian path._

"_It's okay. I said come 'ere."_

_Ste looked around hoping that someone, anyone would walk by but they were all alone. He approached cautiously._

_Caden gently touched his cheek. "Open your mouth, baby. Nice and wide."_

_Ste swallowed hard. What to do when faced with a rock or a hard place?_

"_I promise I'll never do it again." He said trying to bury the fear that radiated out of his every pore._

"_You promised that last time. And when you started spouting that 'love' bollocks. I don't know why yous has to label everything. So open up."_

_Ste slowly opened his mouth until his jaw ached it was so wide. _

_Caden was right. Ste had said told him he loved him and he had on a few occasions described Caden as his boyfriend to his friends and the occasional stranger. He did so because Caden was the man in his life. The guy who said nice things to him and told Ste he was the best thing to happen to him. The only person Ste was intimate with. _

_That was what being boyfriends was. Wasn't it? _

"_Now stick out your tongue."_

_Ste did as instructed. A tear tracked down from one eye and a whimper escaped his throat; signs of fear. He knew that he would be taught a lesson for his mistake._

_That was part of Caden's thing; creating the anxiety and tension before the punishment._

"_So this is the tongue that said 'my boyfriend and me…'?" Caden mimicked Ste's voice. "Nod if the answer is yes."_

_Ste nodded._

"_And what did I tell you about acting like a fucking fairy?"_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Did I say you could close your mouth?"_

_Ste opened it and stuck his tongue out again._

_Caden smiled. "Such a pretty mouth, Blue. Such fucking hot lips."_

_He sucked on Ste's tongue. It felt grotesque to Ste but he stayed put, not daring to move._

"_Kiss me back, baby." Caden whispered against his lips. "It's okay."_

_Caden's voice was so gentle and for a second Ste believed that he was forgiven and it felt good so he kissed the man. When he felt Caden's hands settle on his hips his went to curl around Caden's neck. He felt cared for. Loved. Wanted. For a moment. Just for a moment until the kiss became ferocious. _

_Until his tongue was bitten so hard that his mouth filled with blood and he pulled away in pain._

_But he swallowed his wail of pain. Showing it hurt would be a sign of weakness; a crime punishable on its own._

_Caden snarled at him with lips rouged by Ste's blood. "Don't you dare fucking call me your boyfriend again. Queer."_

{~}

"But don't go on about us being boyfriends or whatever. It will freak him out."

"He told you he loved you, Ste. How is saying you're boyfriends going to scare him away?"

Ste shrugged as he looked down. "I dunno."

"Okay." Doug said then answered the call. "Hello again, Mr Brady. Can I call you Brendan?"

{~}

"Douglas, is there a reason Steven isn't answering his own calls?"

Brendan's initial reaction to hearing that Steven was with his artist friend had been relief but then he remembered that Douglas was dating Benji and Benji was a sociopath that Brendan didn't want Steven anywhere near. He wanted to make sure the boy was nowhere near _his_ boy.

"He's uh, asleep, right now. Was there something you wanted me to tell him?"

"Actually yes." Brendan went through his personal contacts on his phone and grinned when he found what he was looking for. "Tell him that tomorrow I want to see him in my office. Nine o'clock. They'll be a car at your place at eight o'clock to pick him up."

"Like a chauffeur driven car?"

"Yes."

"Oh my God." Doug said, then after a moment. "You don't know where I live."

"You're about to tell me." Brendan smiled.

"Oh." Doug said. "Wait. This isn't some ploy to try and come over now is it?"

"No. He doesn't want to see me tonight. That's fine. He has told me that you are his best friend. I am sure he's in great hands."

Brendan could hear Doug's smug smile over the phone line as he said. "Damn straight!"

Now was the time to find out whether Benji was there; while Doug was all buttered up on compliments.

"Do you need to get anywhere tomorrow morning? I could send a car out for you too."

"No." Doug's laugh was incredulous. "No. I'm okay. No need for a chauffeur!"

"What about Benji?"

There was a pause.

"Benji, my Benji? How do you know his name?" Doug asked.

_Interesting, _Brendan thought. So Benji had not told his boyfriend about meeting him at the club. _Very interesting_.

"Steven mentioned him. Said he was your boyfriend." Brendan said. "And I believe he was at the opening night of your exhibition with you."

"Oh yeah! You've got a good memory!"

"I try."

"He doesn't need a ride. He's away for a few days. But thanks for asking."

"No problem."

{~}

The next morning, after showering, Ste wore a combination of clothes he'd worn the previous day and borrowed items from Doug.

They stood side by side in the American's cramped bathroom brushing their teeth and combing their hair.

"Remember to swing by the police station to tell Detective Rollins about Caden at some point today. She was very clear when he got released. She wanted you to tell her if he ever approached you."

Ste spat into the sink. "I know. I will."

"Have you got the number she gave you?"

"It's in my wallet."

"And remember what I said about being alone."

"That I shouldn't be." Ste grinned at his concerned friend with lips coated with the foam of toothpaste. "Ever."

"Exactly. And yeah. I think that's it." Doug said as he patted the hair at the sides of his head.

"I'll be fine, Doug." Ste gargled and rinsed his mouth. "I know what I need to do."

"I know." Doug said, looking no less concerned. "It's just because we all love you and we don't want to see anything bad happen to you."

Ste dried his face then hugged his friend.

He didn't know what he would have done without Doug and Amy. They had literally picked up the pieces that had remained of him after what happened with Caden and helped put him back together again. He would always be grateful to them for that.

Ste's phone rang and Doug automatically answered it.

"Hello?"

Ste looked at his friend inquisitively.

"Good morning, Mr. Hay. My name is Henry, your driver this morning. Your car is waiting for you downstairs. Did you need a hand with bringing anything down?"

"Um. No. I'll be right down." Doug smiled as he got off the phone and looked out the window at the luxury car that was parked several stories below; incongruence in its surroundings. A smartly dressed man was leaning against it.

"This is like something out of _Pretty Woman_." He mumbled.

"What are you going on about?" Ste asked as he peaked through the window too, to see what his friend was looking at. "Nice car."

Doug looked at him. "I forgot to tell you last night. It's for you courtesy of your boyfriend."

{~}

Ste took a deep breath before stepping into Brendan's office.

The CEO looked up at him, turned from what he was doing on his computer and gave Ste his full attention.

"Morning." Ste said. He looked back at the office door for a lock. There wasn't one so he just made sure it was firmly shut.

He had stuff to say to Brendan and he did not want to be interrupted.

"Morning." Brendan said. "Sorry. No lock in the spirit of transparency. It's so no one can accuse me of stashing stacks of cash and not sharing the wealth."

"Oh." Ste nodded. "I get it."

Brendan gave him a smile. "Are you planning to come closer and sit down?"

"Yeah." Ste walked towards him. "Thanks for the car by the way and the breakfast."

"You're welcome. I thought you could do with a safe ride in to work today. Henry is one of the company's security guys."

Ste hesitated as he looked at the two chairs that were for Brendan's visitors; the chairs that people normally sat at when coming to a meeting with him. Ste ignored them in favour of rounding Brendan's desk to sit right on it in front of the CEO in a move that was pure Guy.

Brendan placed his hands on Ste's knees and run them up towards his hips as he scooted his chair in closer.

"Interesting position." He murmured as Ste leaned down to kiss him softly on the lips. "I've never taken a meeting like this."

Ste lightly bit his own lower lip as he straightened up and took Brendan's hands in his. "Well, I know that you didn't schedule this meeting for work so."

"How do you know that?"

"Because tomorrow we have the meeting in the seminar room for the Kilner project and on Thursday we are going over to _Lionel and Swift_ for the rebrand."

"Okay. You've caught me out." Brendan lifted the corner of his mouth. "About last night, you can tell me as little or as much as you want."

"I want to tell you everything."

"Okay."

"There is a but."

"Okay." Brendan said.

"It's messed up, like really messed up." Ste shrugged and couldn't look Brendan in the eye. His voice weakened as he did when thinking or speaking about that chapter in his life. "And really heavy."

"Hey. Look at me." Brendan said.

Ste searched Brendan's eyes. "We've just started seeing each other. This is going to put you right off."

"Do you see me going anywhere?"

"No." Ste gave him a tentative smile.

Brendan moved in closer still and gazed right into Ste's eyes. His breath blew warm over Ste's lips as he spoke softly; creating intimacy and familiarity in the vast sterile room.

"The truth is I can't go anywhere. Your hands have mine in a vice and I know how powerful your legs are when they wrap around me like a python." Brendan whispered.

His kiss was deep, tugging at Ste's soul and willing him to bare it. Ste sighed when they parted and licked his lips. He could breathe easier now.

How did Brendan do that? Make him feel calm, wanted, desired, strong and loved when Ste needed?

"Okay." Ste said.

_**{~}{~}{~}**_

_**Meeting Doug. Three years ago. Chester… Ste aged- eighteen years and a month**_

Ste was counting out his money at the supermarket counter and simultaneously trying to pacify a screaming teething Leah while his groceries were being checked through the till. Amy held onto her hefty baby bump with one hand while the other put the last items of shopping onto the belt.

The cashier looked at them with a look of sheer boredom once she was done and said,

"£26.17 please."

"Sorry. How much?" Ste asked as he adjusted his baseball cap on his head. He crouched down next to Leah and took her into his arms to try and calm her.

"£26.17."

With only one hand to work with Ste handed all the cash over and said, over the bellowing of his daughter,

"I think that should be enough."

The cashier looked at the change.

"You're three quid short."

Ste looked frazzled at Amy while lightly jostling his daughter in his hand.

"That all I've got." She said.

"That's all I've got." He said.

"Then get rid of something." The cashier said impatiently.

Ste looked at what they had bought. It was bare bones. They needed everything in their basket. The nappies, the milk, the food.

"Here." A hand extended across his chest towards the cashier holding three pound coins. "I've got it."

Ste looked over at the Good Samaritan. He nearly wanted to weep with gratitude but that was probably the run of sleepless nights he had had. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Ste smiled. The guy had an accent. American. Unusual for these parts. And he had great eyes. Blue and big. And…

Ste shook his head clear of feelings that were inappropriate.

"Name's Doug."

"Ste." Ste said and then made a point of turning to Amy. "And this is my girlfriend, Amy."

Doug raised an eyebrow. "Heavily pregnant girlfriend."

"I'm not due for a couple of months but I'm huge." She said with a smile. "We don't know how to repay you."

Doug smiled. "Well I'm new to Chester so why don't we say we're even once you've shown me all the key spots?"

{~}

_**Meeting Caden. Three years ago. Chester. Ste aged eighteen and six months.**_

"Boys night out!" Doug screamed at the top of his lungs as he and Ste headed into Chester town dressed in their best clobber.

"Doug! Shush! Everyone is watching us!"

"So what!"

"I don't like the attention."

Doug smiled. "Well I am celebrating the fact that you have finally decided to be open about who you are."

"There is nothing to celebrate."

"Are you kidding? You're out. You've told Amy. That's huge."

"Yeah I told her three months after giving birth to our second child."

"She hasn't totally freaked out."

"She locked herself in our room and cried, Doug, for three days non-stop."

"Yeah but that's hormones. She was cool after she came out of the room. She said she always knew."

"And now she's gone back to Manchester with the kids to stay with her dad."

"Stop being dramatic. It's only for the weekend. She's happy for you. She said so. She just needs to get used to it."

"I need to get used to it." Ste said.

Doug smiled as he pulled his friend in for a one armed hug as they walked. "So what better way than being surrounded by a bunch of gay guys on a night out?!"

Doug slipped a hand into his jacket and took out a water bottle full of an orange substance. He downed half of it before passing the rest to Ste.

"What is it?"

"Vodka and orange juice heavy on the vodka 'cause, let's face it, we will only be able to afford one drink."

"True." Ste drank it and threw the bottle into a bin before they walked into the gay bar.

"Remind me not to keep spending when I get fucked up drunk." Doug said merrily.

{~}

"You can't afford this, Doug!" Ste said as they propped the bar up later in the night and Doug ordered yet another round.

"How many times do I have to tell you? The night's on me!" The American pushed a firm hand into Ste's chest and slurred, "My new gay best friend! Go! Cut a rug! I'll be right behind you."

When Ste tried to protest, Doug physically shoved him in the direction of the small dance floor.

Ste walked onto it and stood frozen to the spot while looking around at the crowded venue. He was completely overwhelmed by it.

A guy came up to him and without invitation started dancing next to him; his body rubbing against Ste's with a smile on his face. He said something but Ste wasn't listening. He was too shocked to absorb much. When his hand touched Ste's butt Ste physically pulled away and made his way to the exit.

He hit the cool night air of the outside and breathed a sigh of relief.

He wasn't ready to be felt up by total strangers. He probably never would be. He just wasn't that kind of person.

There were a few people milling outside but one stood out.

He was a little older than Ste. Maybe mid to late twenties. He looked a little too dressed down for a night out. He was alone, leaning against the bar wall and looked like he had no intention of going in.

Ste realised he was staring at him so he looked away but it was too late. He was busted.

The guy spoke right to him. "Oi, mate. You got a ciggie?"

Ste smiled. "No. Don't smoke."

The guy nodded. "Yeah. You don't look the type."

"What type is that?"

"Clean cut. Teacher's pet."

Ste laughed. "I'm not a teacher's pet."

The guy walked up to him and looked him up and down. "Choir boy then."

Ste smiled. "Neither."

He felt self-conscious under the stranger's perusal. This guy had no concept of personal space. He stopped when he was toe to toe with Ste. He was good-looking but rough around the edges; not dissimilar to how Ste knew he looked when he wasn't dressed to impress like he was tonight.

"So, um, aren't you going into the bar?" Ste asked.

The guy smelled nice. Musky aftershave. And his smile was killer too.

"No. Not my thing." The stranger said. "I wait to see what spills out as the night rolls on."

"That's your night out?" Ste said.

The guy nodded.

"Strange way to pass a Saturday night." Ste said.

The guy gave him a strange look. "Yous green, ain't you? New to the scene."

Ste hated that it was that obvious.

"I'm here a lot." The guy said. "Same time of night. Same corner. In case yous was wondering."

"Okay." Ste said, not entirely sure what he was supposed to do with that information.

The guy's lips were pretty hypnotic. Ste couldn't help but look at them while he talked. Suddenly, he felt a tug. The man pulled him in, their bodies collided and the stranger smiled at him at point blank range.

Ste's heart fluttered.

"Welcome to the scene, Blue." The guy whispered.

His lips fell on Ste's.

It was the Mancunian's first ever guy on guy kiss. It was like nothing Ste had experienced before. He felt tingles from head to toe. It was an explosion of senses.

Ste slowly opened his eyes and un-pursed his lips. The guy was gone and already approaching another guy.

"Mate, hi, can I bum a ciggie off yous?"

Ste called out to him. "Eya. Why did you call me _blue_?"

The stranger laughed as he licked his lips. "It's cause of them baby blue eyes you got. Lethal."

Ste thought that his face might split with how much the compliment tickled him.

Doug came out of the bar right that second. "There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you."

{~}

_**The first time. Caden. Three years ago. Chester. Ste aged eighteen and eight months.**_

Caden was a free spirit. One of those people that seemed to flit in and out of people's life. When he was with Ste he took over the Mancunian's world but then he would disappear off the face of the earth for stretches of time.

Those times felt dark and cold to Ste. As if the sun had hidden behind clouds. Their relationship at best could be called a friendship but not a particularly close one at that. A friendship interspersed with occasional moments of intense flirtation and passionate secret kisses. It was hard to know what they meant when the rest of the time Caden would just treat Ste like 'one of the boys'.

Two months since first meeting him, Caden told Ste that he had a surprise for him.

"Where are you taking me?" Ste said with a smile as he followed Caden down a quaint part of Chester which was littered with eateries.

Caden smiled at him. "No questions."

"You know I need to be home by eight at the latest. I'm putting the kids to sleep because Ames needs some rest."

Caden laughed. "You so had the kids so that yous could get that council flat!"

Yeah, right.

The council flat they lived in was a small, cramped, damp hole located way too high off the ground to afford his children any sense of outdoor life and natural scenery. At night the area was unsafe. It had the distinction of having the highest crime rate in Chester. Screams and howls and fights could be heard at various times of day. Amy and him shared a room and a bed which meant that when her new boyfriend, Lee, stayed over Ste would camp out on the cold floor in the kids' bedroom and listen to the rhythmic creaking of the bed next door.

Caden made it sound as if they lived in the lap of luxury.

"No. It were because we kept forgetting to be careful." Ste blushed. "Lesson learned. Amy is double covered now. She bags up and has got herself fitted with a coil and I'm never doing it without a-"

"Mate, this conversation's not a turn on!"

"Sorry!" Ste said with a smile. He was so happy hanging out with Caden that he reached out on impulse to hold his hand.

"What the fuck do you think yous doing?" Caden spat out.

Ste was shocked at the outburst. "Sorry. I thought."

"Not out here."

"But you kiss me when it's outside the bar."

"That's different." Caden's voice softened. He pulled Ste to the side of the pavement and looked left and right then gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "Happy?"

Ste grinned. Ecstatic. "Yep."

"Good." Caden grinned. "Because here we are." He pointed to a sign for an Italian restaurant. "For us first two months together."

Ste couldn't believe it. They hadn't officially discussed what they were to each but this was proof that Caden believed they were in a relationship together.

{~}

"Keep running, Ste!"

"Shit!" Ste's baseball hat fell off as he sprinted through the dark streets of Chester just behind Caden and away from the restaurant.

_What the fuck is happening?_ He thought as they rounded one last corner and entered a dead end lined with rows of empty looking garages.

Caden stopped and panted breathlessly. One minute Ste was tucking into his dessert and the next Caden was on his feet and whispering 'run' before hotfooting out of the eatery without paying.

Ste felt terrible. He looked at Caden with fresh eyes.

"What the fuck just happened?" He asked, trying to make out the guy's features in the dark.

Caden laughed jubilantly. "We just got a meal for free!"

Ste shoved him in anger. "We stole from them!"

Caden kissed his teeth. "Please. Do you know how much profit they make? Don't feel sorry for them. Feel sorry for people like us, Blue. Good people who can't catch a break. Fuck!"

Ste was not happy. Not at all. He started to pace readying himself to tell Caden where to go because if this was his attitude then Ste didn't want to know.

"Caden-"

The Scouser was cupping his balls through his trackie bottoms. "Fuck. The adrenaline rush. It's made me so fucking horny!"

He walked up to Ste. The force of his kiss was enough to push the Mancunian backwards, almost unbalancing him. Only Caden's arms around him stopped Ste's fall.

"Let's fuck." The Scouser said passionately.

Ste was conflicted.

The kiss and Caden turned him on like nothing ever had before but the events of the night and Caden's behaviour were a turn off.

There was also the matter of him never having sex with a man before.

Caden fell to his knees and pulled down Ste's sweats. He smiled up at Ste before going to town on his dick.

Conflict again. This time different.

"What if someone comes?" Ste asked and moaned.

And also was this how his first time was going to be; in the cold and dark with his trainers just feet away from litter which included a used hypodermic needle and nappy? This is not how he had imagined it. Ste didn't need candles, violins and silk sheets but a warm room and a bed would be a nice place to start.

"No one will disturb us. Trust me." Caden mumbled and continued to blow him.

Something about the way Caden said that made Ste think that Caden knew that because he had used this venue before for this exact same purpose. But he was beyond rational thought. He was an eighteen year old getting a blow job; a better one than Amy had ever given her. Although in fairness she was the wrong sex to get him truly excited.

Caden managed to get the whole of Ste's dick down his throat so Ste moaned with pleasure. He placed his hands on Caden's shoulders and closed his eyes to savour the sensations better.

"Turn around."

"Why?"

"I want to rim you."

"What does that mean?"

Caden laughed and Ste smiled at how swollen and spit-slicked the Scouser's lips were. He bent over to kiss them.

"Turn around and I'll show you." Caden said.

Ste felt a tug on his sweats and his bum was exposed. His cheeks were parted so that he could feel the cool night air over his…

"No." He pulled away when he felt a wet tongue over his arsehole.

What on God's green earth did Caden think he was doing?

Dirty.

Dirty boy.

"Blue." Caden's voice was commanding. "I want you to bend over and relax."

"I'm not happy about doing this, Caden."

"It's because it's new. Trust me you'll love it."

Ste turned round so that he could speak to the kneeling man over his shoulder. "It's a bit weird though innit, if you stop and think about it. What you want to do… Dirty stuff comes out."

Caden smiled. "But it's not coming out now so you're fine. Don't worry about it. You're clean."

"I know I am."

"So what's the problem? You put your dick into your girlfriend's twat and a baby came out of that. Blood comes out of that every month."

When put like that…

Ste grimaced as he bent over. He automatically started jerking himself off so that even if he didn't like this 'rimming' business he could still get off.

"Just don't go in with your tongue 'cause that will gross me out." He whispered.

He could feel Caden's lips against his bum.

"You've got one of the hottest asses I've ever seen." Caden said softly before giving Ste lesson 101 on rimming.

Ste liked.

He liked a lot.

So much so that he wondered why he had never heard about this rimming before.

Sex-ed sucked. It taught nothing.

He felt Caden stand up behind him so he grinned and turned to accept his kiss but Caden had other intentions. He pushed Ste, sweats around angles, towards one of the garage doors. Ste could feel the slick wetness in his bum as his cheeks rubbed together.

It felt unfamiliar. A bit icky.

"Put your hands out against the garage for support." Caden whispered urgently. "And keep sticking your arse out."

Ste had heard about 'anal' of course but he had never thought it would apply to him. Honest truth. It scared him a bit.

He blew out a breath.

He wanted this. He didn't. He wanted this. He didn't want it. He wanted this.

He wanted this but questions whirled around him.

_Is it okay to do it now like this with Caden?_ Yes. Because I liked Caden and Caden likes me. That is why he took me out for a date tonight.

_Should we be using condoms?_ Probably. No. Why should we? I'm not going to get pregnant and I trust Caden. He would tell me if he had something because he cares about me.

_Is it okay to feel nervous as hell?_ Of course it is. It's my first time doing this but he'll take care of me.

"You know this is my first time." Ste whispered into the darkness and cold. He could hear the tremble in his voice.

Caden smiled against his cheek. "It just makes it hotter."

He pushed his cock into Ste just a little but to Ste it felt huge; as if Caden was trying to sink a boulder in there.

It hurt like a bitch but he breathed out and then tried to relax.

"God, you weren't lying." Caden said with a laugh. "You've honestly never done this?"

"Why would I lie about that?" Ste gripped his dick and rubbed it to distract himself from the ache in his arse.

There was a reason why he was still so tense. He was uneasy.

_Doug's words of advice-_

'_There is a difference between love, trust and safety, Ste. I am telling you because it's a reality that we have to face as people in general and as gay men in particular. People confuse them all the time and then they get hurt. Just because you love or trust someone or they say they love or trust you don't compromise your safety. By definition they are the ones more likely to hurt you because you leave yourself vulnerable to them.' _

"Maybe you should put a condom on. Just in case." Ste whispered.

"I haven't got one on me. Why's you trying to tell me yous got something?"

"No." Ste whispered as he tried to pull away. "I don't think so. Me and Ames, we were each other's firsts so."

Caden licked his ear then kissed it. "Then we don't have a problem. I'm lucky, ain't I? To have found you."

Ste smiled. What a nice thing to say.

He felt himself relax. He was being stupid. Caden had been really slow and patient with him. He had put no pressure on Ste. And despite what Doug said, Caden wouldn't want to hurt Ste.

So as he felt Caden push in more and slowly fill him up Ste reached round for his hand and encouraged him.

The taller man groaned as he fully seated himself in Ste.

"Now keep stroking your cock while I fuck you. It'll blow your mind." Caden said as he gripped Ste's hips and began thrusting.

It didn't take long for the burn from the stretch to translate to pleasure. Ste's body trembled; goose bumps coming up.

Moan inducing pleasure.

Caden clamped a hand tightly over Ste's mouth.

"Shut the fuck up!" He hissed without stopping his pushes in. "You'll get us caught."

Ste whimpered as he jerked himself off. He didn't know how to conceptualise it but there was a pleasure centre in his bum that drove him crazy every time Caden plunged in with his cock and hit it. He couldn't control himself when that happened.

Caden's thrusts became ferocious unco-ordinated and frantic. Then without warning it was as if Ste was trapped in a strait jacket as Caden held onto him for dear life, their hips fused.

Caden's cry was hoarse yet quiet. His spasms were brisk against Ste's back propelling his hips to push deeper into Ste. Ste could feel the warm jet of Caden's cum spilling in him. He clung on to the garage door as his body carried both of their weights and Caden rode out his climax.

"Fuck!" Caden gasped against him then kissed his shoulders and hair and upper back. "Fuck!"

He slowly stood up on his own two feet. Ste turned and watched as Caden wiped his sweaty brow as perspiration evaporated off him in the cold night air. He pulled his cock out of Ste slowly and laughed when a rivulet of cum followed.

"There's fucking loads coming out!" He said with a grin then turned Ste around to kiss him. "Your arse is amazing! Fuck!"

Ste didn't know what to say.

"Let me finish you off." Caden said breathlessly as he took hold of Ste's dick. "Quickly. You said you needed to get back to your kids."

As he tugged sensually at Ste's cock the Mancunian reflected on how much of a paradox this whole night was. The pretence had been a 'romantic' anniversary meal out but it had ended with thieving and outdoor sex. He was feeling all warm and tingly and yet it was cold and dark where they were. Caden's words and actions were docile and sweet one minute and then harsh and abrupt the next.

And yet it was easier to remember the good stuff.

Like now.

Stuff like the gentle kisses that Caden was giving him while bringing him to climax. Stuff like the words of endearment while Ste tried to ignore the residual soreness in his arse and the cum running down his inner thighs.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Blue."

{~}

Ste didn't see a problem.

Caden's short temper was a 'character trait'. Then it became something that Ste tried to camouflage. Then it became something that he would make excuses for to his friends. Then he decided that it was better not to hang out with his friends too much because it was more trouble than it was worth having to make excuses.

Ste had become so used to mental and emotional abuse that it felt like a facet of their relationship. And, anyway, even if he had a problem with it who was he going to tell?

Amy? She thought that the sun shone out of Caden's arse. He was great with the kids and brought them all presents. When he made some extra money he helped them out with groceries and the bills.

Doug? He had initially had reservations about the man, thought he was a little abrupt and shady, but then he was happy for Ste that he had finally found someone who made him happy. He always went on about how much he wanted someone special in his life too.

How funny.

If only he knew that Caden was a paradox; a man who said that Ste was the only man for him in private and then get really angry when Ste dared to label what they had as a relationship. A man who could go days or even weeks without contacting Ste only to be all over him like a rash when the mood took him.

Anyway.

The point was that it wasn't a real problem.

Ste could defend himself and if he was being brutally honest he had to admit that he had it coming sometimes.

He was 'too fucking skinny' and he did need to 'get a life' sometimes. He could be 'clingy' and 'nagging' and 'suffocating' and 'pathetic' and 'a waste of oxygen' and 'paranoid' especially when he asked Caden about why he went clubbing without him and why someone had said that they had seen him with another guy.

Caden wasn't always at fault and he always apologised after. Always. He was so sorry. Genuinely. He would look Ste in the eye and tell him so. And then he would make love with him and everything was okay again.

"You know that, Blue. You know how I feel about yous. Can't live without you."

{~}

_**The first beating. Caden. Two years ago. Chester. Ste aged nineteen.**_

Doug had organised Ste's birthday party. They had managed to gather a few friends together; mainly Doug's from his new job at the coffee shop on Watergate Street and Amy's from her toddler group. Ste invited a couple of work colleagues from his current job at a petrol station.

The venue was a Moroccan restaurant that Doug had discovered.

"Cheap but delicious." Doug promised.

Ste wasn't sure. It sounded too exotic for Caden's taste buds.

"Fucking poncy foreign shit." Was what Caden said when he found out.

Ste went to his flat beforehand on a promise that his present was waiting for him.

When he got there he was let in by Caden's sister who was holding her howling child while her boyfriend and a couple of their friends sat in the living room laughing at a programme on the telly.

Ste entered his bedroom.

"Lock the door." Caden whispered.

Ste did as instructed. There was no present. Not in the strict sense of the definition. Caden was lying on his bed naked with the exception of a red bow wrapped at the base of his dick.

"Happy birthday." He said with a grin.

"You do know that there are a bunch of people out there." Ste smiled.

"Yes. We'll have to be quiet."

"Is that for me?" Ste pointed at his groin.

"It's all just for you."

Ste scratched his bum. "Thank you but everyone is waiting for us at the restaurant and you said this would be quick." _And I don't feel up for getting fucked right now._

"It will be. Your guests can wait five fucking minutes."

"Come on, Caden." Ste said making sure to keep his tone light, non-whiny and non-judgemental. "Later we'll have all the time in the world. When we aren't in a rush."

"You saying yous not in the mood?"

Tread carefully, Ste.

"No. 'Course not."

"So take them jeans and pants off and hop on."

Ste exhaled. "I don't feel like it right now. Sorry."

"You're contradicting yourself now. One minute ago you were in the mood and now you're not. Which is it?"

"I'm not in the mood right now." Ste whispered. "But I will be later."

"So you're a liar."

"What?"

"I asked you a simple question at the beginning, Blue. I asked- are you in the mood? You said- yes. So you lied."

Ste rubbed his head. "Why are you doing this on my birthday?"

"I'm not doing anything. You're the one lying to my face."

"I'm not. I mean, I didn't mean to." Fuck this. Why did it always have to become a headache. It was like psychological warfare. "I'm going."

Caden hopped to his feet and grabbed Ste's arm.

"No. You're not."

"Yes. I'm tired of this. I am going to hang out my friends and have a nice night with them."

The cracking sound when Caden's fist connected with his jaw was superimposed over the sound of flesh connecting with flesh.

The pain came after a second; once the shock of the attack sunk in.

"Fuck!" Caden ground out in a loud whisper as he clutched his hand. He was the one to have incurred the fracture not Ste.

None the less the Mancunian went down, clutching his face, before being dragged onto Caden's bed. All the while he could hear the loud telly through the door and the laughter.

This would become signature of Caden. His attacks, in the heat of the moment, may have seemed out of control but they were calculated.

This attack on Ste's face guaranteed that he couldn't go to his birthday without having to make up some incredible story for how he got it ('someone tried to mug me but they didn't steal anything in the end').

This attack meant that he would have to miss his birthday which would have been Caden's intention all along. Ste would then have to stay away from Amy, the kids and Doug to avoid them telling him he had to 'press charges against the animal who did this to you'. Inevitably since he had nowhere else to go he would stay with Caden. During his convalescence, Caden would be the best 'non-boyfriend' in the world; lavishing Ste with attention and apologies until Ste wondered why he had been so frightened of him…

…until the next time.

"This is how you treat me?" Caden whispered. "When all I was trying to do was be nice; telling me you're leaving me to be with your friends? Wake up. You have no friends, Blue. So be good. Shut up. You are going to take your present and you are going to like it."

{~}

_**The first realisation. Doug and Amy. Two years ago. Chester. Ste aged nineteen and ten months.**_

It was strange how easy it was for Ste to come up with reasons to explain his bruises and fractures. It was even stranger how he was able to justify why he deserved them to himself. There was still a part of him, deeply buried, that knew that this wasn't right and that he should do something about it but then fear would kick in. Feelings of failure, worthlessness and powerlessness would erode any strength and drive that he had to act and change his situation.

It was easier to stay.

The physical signs of abuse were easy to conceal or explain off but he couldn't manage to continue fooling Doug and Amy about his mood.

One time he was preparing dinner for his children. He only realised he was crying when Amy pointed it out to him.

Another time his phone went off while he was with Doug and he could not stop shaking when he realised the caller was Caden.

His two friends gathered evidence to prove their theory.

As far as Ste was concerned it all amounted to proof of how much of a failure he was as a human being because at the end of the day people didn't hurt others if they were lovable or likeable. People didn't attack others for no reason whatsoever. So there must have been something wrong with him to mean that Caden felt a need to hurt him.

Ste figured that he was broken in some way.

That was why Caden harmed him.

That was why his stepdad had thrown him out.

That was why his mother did nothing to stop him.

And that was why his granddad had died so that Ste was left to feel all alone and unloved.

When Amy and Doug staged their intervention and told Ste that they _knew_ that Caden was abusing him and that they _strongly suspected _that Caden was cheating on him, Ste defended his man. He shouted at them in anger when they suggested that he get checked at the clinic 'just in case he's passed something on to you'.

He shouted at them, told them that they weren't his friends, and ran into Caden's warm inviting abusive arms.

{~}

_**The final straw. Ste, Caden, Doug and Amy. About two years ago. Chester. Ste aged twenty and two months.**_

The final straw.

Turning a blind eye to Caden's criminal activities was one thing. Burying the abuse and denying the rumours of adultery were another but Ste physically couldn't ignore the stinging he experienced when passing urine. It felt like a thousand shards of glass slicing through his penis.

He went to the GUM clinic. His first ever trip. He didn't tell a soul.

He knew the rumours about Caden were true even though the Scouser had shot Ste down as paranoid. Ste was so sure that he asked Caden to bag up when they did it. That was met with stony silence or uncompromising fists. So Ste had been repeatedly 'unsafe' with a guy who he knew was straying and now he was certain he was paying for it.

When he had all his tests he was told,

"We'll call you to come in if we have something to tell you otherwise you'll get a text with the all clear."

He got a call.

"Ste, there are two reasons why we called you back. The fi-"

"I've got something, haven't I?" Ste interrupted. "What is it?"

"Don't look so worried." The doctor said as she run off a prescription. "You've got chlamydia."

She said it as if she was giving him the first prize in a game show.

"Chlamydia?" Ste repeated. He had heard of it. "It's an STI."

"Yes, it's quite common especially in your age group and it's easily treated. It's a good thing you got symptoms. 50% of men don't and go untreated." She smiled and passed him a prescription. "It's a week long course. While you are being treated you shouldn't have sex and I'd recommend that you advise your boyfriend to get tested and treated too. If you do engage in penetrative sex make sure you use a condom otherwise you run the risk of reinfection. You should continue to use condoms until we bring you both back for a test of cure in a few weeks. And actually, Ste, I would always advise that you use condoms anyway even in a stable and loving relationship."

"I don't think he'll take the test."

"It's easy. He just needs to give us a urine sample."

Ste shook his head. "He won't do it and he won't bag up. I just know."

The doctor frowned. "But you'll just have to tell him why it's necessary."

Ste began to get fretful but there was no point arguing with the doctor. He looked down at his lap. "Okay."

The doctor settled in her chair and was quiet for a moment. When she spoke her words were slow and deliberate.

"We normally contact trace and invite any other sexual partners you have had in the last six months to get tested and treated if necessary. It is completely anonymous so it won't come back to you."

Ste kept his head down and shrugged in defeat.

"I've only been with my boyfriend for the last two years."

"No one else."

"You don't have to believe me."

"I believe you, Ste." The doctor took a deep breath in then out.

Ste dared a glance at her before looking back down.

"Look, this is the hard part of my job. People come to this clinic and find out they have an infection. They sometimes feel very angry and betrayed by their partners. They wonder how they got it. They seek to find blame but it is a futile exercise. It doesn't help the situation. The key thing is to get treated and be safe from now on."

The doctor didn't understand. Ste felt nothing.

Not anger.

Not betrayal.

Nothing.

Just emptiness.

"He may have carried it from a previous relationship." She said in attempt to comfort and give an alternative theory to the obvious one which was that Caden _had _cheated.

"Maybe but he still cheated. He goes to a bar and hangs outside it, sometimes without me. He picks guys up there. My best friend told me. Other people have told me." Ste said numbly.

He picked up the prescription on the desk and looked at it. "Anyway. Thanks."

"Ste." The doctor cleared her throat. "Before you go, you know I said that there were two reasons why we asked you back?"

He nodded.

"Before I tell you about the second reason I want to remind you that what you say here to me goes no further so you can feel safe to be completely honest with me."

"Okay." Ste felt uneasy.

The doctor referenced her notes and then looked at Ste kindly.

"The colleague who examined you at your first visit made a mention in your notes that there was some bruising on your arms, what looked like a cigarette burn on your stomach and bite marks on your inner thigh."

"I told her. They were an accident." Ste clutched at his prescription.

He was feeling trapped, suffocated, caught out.

"Okay." The doctor said. "The reason I mention it is that we sometimes see these sorts of injuries when someone is subject to abuse. Physical abuse. Do you understand?"

"Yes." He whispered.

"So what I am going to ask you next is a tough question but only requires a yes or no answer. Its tough because it might make you feel scared and vulnerable but I want to remind you that anything you tell me stays right here unless you say otherwise. Okay?"

Ste hated the look of compassion.

Pity.

It made him feel weak.

"So here it is." The doctor said. "Has your boyfriend or anyone else been physically and or verbally aggressive towards you?"

Ste felt tears swell in his eyes. Why was the doctor bringing this up? As long as no one talked about what he was going through it was okay. Ste could cope.

He looked the doctor straight in the eye for the first time since walking into the room. His voice felt hoarse as if unused for a while when he opened his mouth and whispered,

"Yes. Yes! Please do something. Please help me. Please!"

He blinked.

He realised that he still hadn't uttered a word and his eyes were still firmly fixed on his lap.

"Take your time Ste." The doctor said calmly. "Take all the time you need."

Ste folded the prescription and slipped it into the pocket of his worn, faded jeans.

He gave her his most winning smile and stood up. "No. Never. My boyfriend would never hurt me."

{~}

Ste was in his bedroom on his laptop a few days later trying to engineer a software programme. It was a happy place for him. An escape.

"What's this?" Amy asked him as she marched into their bedroom and wafted his box of antibiotics at him. She had been in the medicine cabinet. "Didn't know you were sick."

"I'm not." Ste snatched them from her and sat on them. "It's nothing."

"So secretive."

"Oh, you know me. Man of mystery."

"I know you have been. It's because of him."

"No. Ames. I don't want you going on about Caden."

"So I take it he is on one of his disappearing acts because we are getting to see more of you. How long has he been away for this time? Four days?"

"Five." Ste said but who was counting.

The timing of Caden's latest silence was perfect. In a morbid way Ste missed him unbearably whilst at the same time feeling inordinate relief. It gave him time to heal and repair and be his old self. And during this hiatus it gave Ste a chance to treat his STI.

"So what's he told you he is doing this time?" Amy asked bitterly.

Ste wanted to laugh out loud at that.

_He doesn't tell me. He does what he pleases. Oh, by the way,_ _he gave me chlamydia. I'm trying to get it cleared up so that when he gets back if he wants us to do it, it won't feel like the world's worst agony_._ I'll probably get re-infected. At least it's not HIV or hepatitis. _

_There's the silver lining._

"We're spending some time apart. That's healthy for any relationship, int'it?"

Amy looked at him sceptically. "I just don't get why you are still with that loser, Ste. There is nothing nice about him. When you first came out I thought that it would be your chance to be happy but Caden pulls you down. He doesn't make you better. He doesn't love you like you deserve to be loved."

_But he scares me. You have no idea how much. So much that you don't know how bad it is. So much that I know what I should do but I don't think I have the strength to do it. _

"There are organisations you can go to." Amy said. She took the lap top from him and opened a couple of bookmarked websites. "This one is right around the corner. Doug and me checked it out. Their nice. And this one is a little further away but they are really good with men going through what you are going through. They have a helpline."

"I don't want…" He closed the laptop. "I mean everything is fine. Actually, things have been better recently." He lied.

"If you're not going to do something about it then I will."

{~}

Ste finished his shift at the petrol station and headed home as the sun was setting.

No word from Caden for eight days. That was an abnormally long time to get no contact whatsoever but Ste wasn't complaining. He was living an existence that reminded him of how he used to be. He pee pain had cleared up for a start. That was nice. He was enjoying spending time with his kids. He had a giggle with Amy and Doug.

He was happy.

He took the stairs to the flat; running up them two at a time until he got to his door.

"Ames, I'm back." He said as he ran in.

He walked into their bedroom to find her pulling her hair into a ponytail. He threw his baseball cap on the sofa and took his uniform top off and laid it on their bed. He could do that in front of Amy now that his skin was bruise free for the first time in a while.

"Ey. You're looking nice." He said.

She smiled and twirled to show off her dress. "Lee's taking me bowling."

"He's dead into you. I can tell."

"I know. I never thought I'd find love after the father of my kids told me he was gay!" She teased him. "And I definitely didn't think I'd find it near a skip!"

She had first met Lee when she and Ste went to throw out some old furniture when her father offered to donate his old furniture to them as replacement.

Ste grinned in reaction to her joy. "So why is it so quiet here?"

"Kids are taking a nap but you know Lucas is going to wake up any second."

"Yep."

"Could you get Leah to watch at least half an hour of her maths DVD?"

"Yeah. Sure." Ste smiled.

Amy was paranoid about their kids becoming 'ASBO' kids.

She picked up her purse. "Still no word from Caden?"

"No." Ste put on a regular t-shirt.

"Good. Hopefully you've seen the last of him. He better know to stay away from you." She briefly kissed him on the lips and smiled. "I'm off. Bye."

Ste smiled. "Bye."

He crawled onto his bed and took out his lap top. He put earphones into it so that he could listen to some Motown music that he had copied off his late grandfather's playlist. Then he started messing around with his latest downloaded computer software programme.

He was slow to hear the noise coming from his front door. But then he heard a loud clang and a deep voice say,

"We're in, lads."

Ste sprang into action and run out into the main room to find three men in balaclavas standing there.

One was brandishing a knife.

"Don't move." The man behind him hissed. "Stay quiet."

Ste trembled in fear as he automatically lifted his hands up.

The man with the knife stayed with him while the other two made quick work of piling his TV, microwave and DVD player near the door.

Ste found his voice enough to beg. "Please no. We don't have much. Please."

He and Amy had scraped every last bit of money they had in order to buy those items. What they owned were bare necessities.

The thieves added to the pile as they tore through the flat. Toaster. DVDs. Ste's lap top. His mobile phone. His nice clothes. A handful of Amy's cheap jewellery. Two pairs of her shoes. Ste's only other pair of shoes. All thrown into a black bin liner.

"Daddy?"

Ste looked sideways in despair to see Lucas standing at the threshold of the room he shared with Leah looking full of sleep and wearing a faded top that fell just low enough to cover the waistband of his nappy.

Lucas rubbed his eyes as he mumbled. "Pee pee."

The toddler looked at the men in his home with confusion. He went all coy and took a microstep back into the bedroom.

Ste looked between the invaders and his son. He was physically shaking as he whispered, "Hey monster munch. Why don't you go back to your room and I'll go to the toilet with you in one minute."

But Lucas sensed trouble. He detected fear in his father's tone and he saw the knife.

So he cried. It started as a whimper but quickly became an ear spitting cry that jarred the senses.

"Shut your kid up or we'll slit his throat." One of the masked men said. "Fuck! Let's get out of here, lads, before someone comes!"

Ste ran towards his little boy and scooped him up into his arms. He soothed him down as best he could while he watched the men run off carrying as much loot as they could which was most of it. He turned his attention fully on his son knowing that a chase would be futile. He pushed Lucas's blond hair off his face and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Hey champ. There is nothing to be scared of. See. They've gone now. You made them run away." Ste gave his son a smile as the boy hiccupped. "Like a hero."

Lucas gave him a small smile.

"Why don't you go to the bathroom for your potty? I'll be there in a second."

He put Lucas down and the kid toddled off. Ste looked around at the carnage that was left of his flat. He didn't even have a way to contact Amy without a phone so he made a plan of action while walking to the door to close it. First he would leave the kids with one of their neighbours and he would ask if he could use their phone to call the police. Then he would call Doug and ask him to come over because Ste didn't feel safe in his own home.

Just as he was about to close the door a foot wedged itself in its the way.

One of the masked men was back. The silent one with the knife.

It took less than a second for Ste to realise who he was. He couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it sooner. The eyes. The body.

It's amazing what fear made one blind to.

The balaclava came off as Caden pushed Ste into the room and shut the door behind him.

"Don't speak!" Caden sneered angrily.

He pushed Ste against a wall and clamped his hand over his mouth.

"I hear yous have been saying porkies to your friends."

Ste tried to protest but only mumbles came out.

Caden had orchestrated the theft. Ste couldn't believe it. He knew how much Ste and Amy struggled to make ends meet. He knew that they had kids to think of. Why would he do this?

"I got a visit from Amy and Doug a couple of days ago telling me that I'm bad news and that I should back off you."

Ste's eyes widened with shock.

"Don't act like you didn't know. Amy told me that you're riddled. Tried to pin it on me." Caden ran his knife lightly over Ste's top. "Saying I infected you, the frigid bitch."

Ste had never told Amy what his tablets were for. She and Doug must have done some digging around and found out.

Caden took a deep breath in and out as if calming himself down. "I have tried so hard with you, Blue. I have tried being patient and kind but you just keep fucking up."

There was something that snapped in Ste. Maybe it was because a few feet away his daughter was sleeping and his son was trying to have a pee in his potty. Maybe it was because even if he couldn't be strong for himself he could damn well be strong for them.

Whatever it was he snapped. He bit Caden's hand as it covered his mouth, causing the man to stumble back, drop the knife and howl in pain.

Ste made a grab for the weapon. He picked it up and pointed it at his boyfriend. Every bit of suppressed emotion came out. Every emotional fracture he had received and physical blow was channelling through him as he held the knife in his hand.

Now was the time to get even.

"What do you think you are doing?" Caden asked in amusement while holding his bleeding hand gingerly. "Do you think you got the balls to do anything with that? Fucking hell. Give it back."

"No."

"Daddy." Lucas called out from the bathroom. "Daddy! Daddyyyy!"

The distraction was enough for Caden to reach for the knife. They fought for it but there was only going to be one winner.

Caden grabbed it out of Ste's hands.

Ste felt a searing pain in his side. He looked down to see the bloodied knife inches away from his stomach and a river of blood pouring out of him, wetting and darkening his top.

Without hesitation, Caden had plunged the knife into Ste's stomach. Ste fell to the ground.

Caden looked down at him in disbelief. He hadn't intended to go that far. He looked at the knife in his hand, tucked it into his bomber jacket and ran out of the flat.

Ste felt himself slipping away. He felt cold and breathless.

His last memory was of his son, nappy halfway down his ankles and legs wet from having peed himself, running towards him as Ste lay on his side on the floor in pain and unable to move.

_**{~}{~}{~}**_

"I was lucky." Steven said as he held Brendan's hands.

Brendan didn't understand how Steven could say that after what he had just told the Irishman.

"Because our Leah and Lucas cried so loudly that the neighbours came round to check on us. If my kids hadn't been there I might have bled to death." Ste said calmly.

Brendan lifted Steven's shirt just enough to see the scar in question. Now he knew the story behind it.

He touched the edge of it and Steven jerked slightly. He looked up at the lad's face as he traced the smooth length of it and then kissed it.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"What have you got to feel sorry for. It's made me the person I am today. I am never going to put myself in a position where I feel so powerless again."

It all made so much sense now. Steven's unyielding need to be in control and not feel dependent or owned. Not to burden others with his problems.

"And Amy and Doug. They felt so bad about it for a long time. But it wasn't their fault. That is why they are like my personal Rottweilers."

"Was he put away?"

Steven shook his head.

"I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I went to the police and gave a statement but then I withdrew it. I was terrified that Caden would come back and hunt me down." Steven exhaled shakily. "So now you know."

"Yeah." Brendan said.

The lad hadn't been lying when he said the story was heavy. Domestic abuse. Non-consensual sex. STIs. Robbery. Stabbings. Abject poverty.

"I've freaked you out." Steven said quietly. "Say something."

Brendan didn't know what to say. Knowing what he now knew, he could understand why escorting had been, in relative terms, a step up for Steven. The money got better. His clients treated him better. To an extent Steven could control the environment in which he found himself. He could set rules and boundaries.

_what doesn't kill you makes you stronger_

Steven made a move to get off the desk reading Brendan's silence as a sign that the CEO had gone right off him.

"Okay." The employee whispered. "I understand."

Brendan stopped him and made Steven sit back on the desk. He stood up, pushing his chair back and pulled Steven into his arms. He tucked his head into the young man's neck and inhaled his scent. Steven reciprocated, his legs curling around Brendan's legs pulling the man as close to him as he could.

"I am shit with words." Brendan whispered and kissed Steven where his pulse fluttered just under his lips.

Steven closed his eyes and felt calmness. Calmness punctuated by the steady thud of Brendan's heart against his as their bodies moulded together, intertwined.


	27. Sue

_**Dear Folks,**_

_**Firstly. I want to say sorry for my silence. Seriously. I realise how inconsistent I have been at getting Safe out recently and how I keep having to apologise. I feel shit about that too. The reasons aren't important but thanks to those who were concerned when I went AWOL for a while there (I've picked up your messages). I wasn't unwell or sucked up into some vortex. I simply wasn't online (sheepish face).**_

_**I'll twitter tomorrow... **_

_**Anyway... Here is the next chapter. **_

_**Chapter 28 will come out tomorrow as will PN (yep, dude's been busy writing...)**_

_**Chips x**_

_**{~}**_

Brendan stopped Steven and made him sit back on the desk. He pushed his chair back and stood up. Then he pulled the lad into his arms, tucked his head into his neck and inhaled his scent.

Steven reciprocated the embrace; his legs curling around Brendan, pulling the man as close to him as he could.

"I am shit with words." Brendan whispered eventually and kissed Steven where the lad's pulse fluttered under his lips.

He respected this waif of a man who was engulfed in his arms. This man with the heart of a lion, strength for days and resilience that put Brendan's to shame.

If Steven was anything like him then opening up, letting someone in and revealing unpalatable aspects of his past must have felt like conquering Everest.

Brendan was … proud… of him.

Proud. That was the emotion as ironic as it seemed to use the word when he, a hardened CEO, was about to embark on a secret liaison with his employee, an ingenuous ex-escort.

What had developed between them was not what Brendan had coveted or expected when he had first clapped eyes on the lad. Then his mind had been preoccupied with superficial and carnal thoughts. A warm tight body to play with, to distract him from the painful and mundane.

Now there was more and it was not something that came naturally to the Irishman. It was not in his makeup. Growing up he had learned to stand alone. A lone ranger. He had drilled it into his own mind. He had become used to not having to rely on anybody else but himself.

Vincent had slipped through the cracks though and Cheryl, of course, through her sheer persistence.

But now, with this…. thing with Steven. Being part of a 'we'. Craving his company. Wishing the best for him. Wanting to shield him from the shit of the world. These feelings, they were ridiculous. Energy consuming. Pointless, really, because who needed them? The agro. So needless.

Brendan experienced a mini freak out. He had to get away.

_He is complicated. Capital C. He's no good for you. And you are trouble. You're no good for him either._

And yet Steven felt divine in Brendan's. Perfect. He made Brendan feel something in his heart.

Something...

The Irishman inhaled and the scents that filled his nostrils were of citrus coming off Steven's skin.

He breathed deeply and relaxed into the lad.

"Why are you sighing?" Steven whispered.

"No reason." Brendan murmured against his neck.

But he knew why. He recalled what his swimming teacher at school used to tell his six year old self as he frantically tried to tread water, fearful of drowning.

'_Brendan, calm down! Don't overthink it, boy. Stop yer flapping. Let the water do the work. Just breathe and relax.'_

He did and he floated.

Like he was floating now.

"I'm not a victim you know." Steven cut through the quiet. Earnest.

Brendan pulled back to look at him. There was a quiver of hesitation in the lad's voice; a tremble of the lower lip. A silent plea for reassurance in his eyes. Not something that would have been obvious to most but Brendan knew those lips and eyes well.

"Steven, I know you're no victim."

The lad nodded imperceptibly. And then they kissed. Soft and preceded by an intake of breath from the lad. Steven was sucking him in. Their mouths brushed lightly.

Three little words knocked about in Brendan's head.

Words that he had said to Steven in Scotland. Words that reflected how his body and soul had felt in that moment. Unrehearsed and instinctive. Spoken from his soul. To get Steven back. To feel the lad in his arms again.

But Brendan did not repeat those three words. Opposing voices battled for his attention.

_The fuck are you doing? He's not worth it_.

_Nonsense. He's the thing that's been missing in your life._

One voice won out.

For now.

"Caden- he told me that he was recently released from prison." Brendan said. "Said he had charges against him dropped."

"Yeah." Steven whispered. "He were in for robbery. I don't know but I thought he were coming after me."

"Why?" Brendan asked.

It was a leading question to see whether Steven would open up about the months of hate mail that he had been receiving. That he had assumed were sent by his ex. That Caden had been charged with sending until his acquittal.

That had been the reason why the Scouser went after Steven and Steven knew it.

Steven looked down at his lap. Avoiding eye contact. His pout made mincemeat of Vincent's.

"Dunno."

A lie. Blatant.

_Told you. He is not worth it._

Brendan lifted the lad's chin. To see how well Steven was able to lie to his face.

"Did he say anything to you?" Steven asked him.

"Like what?" Brendan asked.

"I don't know." Steven's voice was weakened by deceit. "Why he were after me."

_He doesn't want me to know_, Brendan realised. _About the letters. He is trying to figure out if Caden told me. Why the secret?_

"No. He ran off."

A shudder ran through Steven's body.

Brendan said, "You should tell the police what happened."

"I'm going tonight. After work."

"I'll come with you."

Steven's smile held wonder. Brendan was defying every expectation. Didn't run. Listened. And now he was being supportive…

Brendan felt like warning Steven against thoughts of optimism and hope especially if they were directed towards him.

Things never ended well where he was concerned. They had a habit off falling apart and getting hurt.

"It's okay. Doug's coming with me. Like, um, he knows about things, right. He were there when it happened with me and Caden so he wants to be there for me." Steven smiled at him. "And anyway, I don't want to spend the evening with you at a policestation. That's the opposite of romantic."

_Christ. He's a romantic._

_Fuck._

"Where would you like us to spend the evening then?"

"Dunno." Those fucking lashes. So bashful they went full circle and became downright flirty. "You can't come to mine because of, you know, me kids and Amy…"

He didn't want to make introductions and Brendan was happy with that. Somewhat relieved actually. He had a feeling the mother of Steven's kids might be quite critical of his intentions towards her friend. And kids? Not his cup of tea. So small. So loud. So dependent and fragile. So unfathomable.

"Come back to the apartment." Brendan said.

"Okay. If you want."

The hitch in Steven's voice was a giveaway. He had visions of the night they might have ahead of them.

_Forgive me, Mary. Your housekeeping jobs are going to be on the rise once again._

"I want." Brendan said.

Steven licked his lips wet. Then their lips met. Skin tingled and passions swelled.

Brendan tongue invited Steven's on a slow dance, sensual and non-urgent, because who was in a rush here? The kiss consumed his body and soul. He tasted echoes of Steven's breakfast; black coffee and French pastry. The breakfast that had been waiting for the lad at his desk, following his limo ride to work.

His hands gripped the lad's thighs. They ached, his hands, casualties of his fight with Walker. But the ache was worth it for the feeling of Steven against him.

His teeth lightly bit Brendan's lower lip pulling then releasing then grinning when it slapped back against the CEO's teeth.

"You owe me after last night." Brendan said.

"I do?" Steven intertwined their hands and looked down at Brendan's. Steven's smile was seductive. He was game. "Okay. Why?"

"Last night. One minute we were near my place. My head was full of the promises your body was making. Next thing you were half way down the street. I had expectations, Steven."

"Like a goodbye kiss?" Steven guessed.

Brendan smirked. "Kiss was not what I was thinking."

His hand ran over the seat of the lad's trousers, making his meaning clear, He used his grip on Steven's but to pull him closer.

He leaned in for a kiss- a proper one- but the lad pushed away and whispered,

"We shouldn't… . Not in your office."

Brendan laugh was low. "Do you know who I am? I'm the fucking boss, Steven. I can do what I want."

Steven rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right."

But his smile was four parts naughty one part nice. He wasn't saying an outright no. He caressed Brendan's flanks and wrapped his legs firmly around Brendan's hips and that gave Brendan hope. He wasn't counting on a fuck but Steven's mouth knew its way around a cock.

It would be the perfect start to Brendan's day.

He gripped Steven's hips and pushed them into his groin causing the lad to gasp heatedly.

"I don't have any meetings until eleven." He said yo sweeten the deal. "So no interruptions."

The lad fiddled with the CEO's shirt buttons, absentmindedly unbuttoning only to button up again, the fucking tease. His brow was creased in thought.

He exhaled and arrested Brendan's heart with a suggestive look. His voice was soft and resigned.

"Okay. But like we have to be really quiet... and quick."

His arms clung to Brendan, firmly around his shoulders.

"I'm not the loud one." Brendan murmured when Steven pressed lips to his collar bone.

Brendan slowly unburdened him of his clothes. The buttons on his shirt first.

There was no resistance. Steven moaned into his mouth. They kissed like secret lovers because they this might be their last chance to be together.

Steven tried to take his glasses off- he didn't trust an amorous Brendan around them anymore- but the CEO told him to,

"Keep them on."

The employee's tie and shirt were next to be discarded. Then the belt; a hiss of leather over cotton as Brendan pulled it swiftly from the loops it was threaded in. All the while Steven was kicking off his shoes and unzipping Brendan's fly.

From languid to frantic.

He sighed when Brendan explored the plains of his stomach. His hands urgently wound down until they dipped into Steven's trousers… over his naked flesh so that he arched his back and every inch of their bodies was flush. His fingers scraped through Brendan's hair and his nails left a trail that ached.

Their hips collided and rubbed.

Steven's urgent and sultry "yeah!" was a whispered one right into Brendan's ear. If they had been back at Brendan's place Brendan knew that he wouldn't have been so contained. The lad was aware of his surroundings.

The friction of groin on groin. It delighted first and frustrated later. It unravelled Brendan. He carelessly pushed work papers that shared the desk with Steven aside; unfazed when they fell to floor in a disordered scattered mess.

"Who's picking those up then?" Steven gasped. "They're everywhere!"

"Don't care." Brendan whispered.

He pushed the lad back onto the mahogany. Firmly. His bony shoulder blades knocked loudly against the wood.

"Ouch! You're so rough. I'm going to bruise me."

"Serves you right for being so puny." Brendan muttered, then kissed, then added, "Sorry."

He was desperate to get frisky. So sue him.

His mouth descended to pay lip service to Steven's body. No pore was left unexplored. His hands worshipped the boy's lithe torso; undulating tattoo, jutting hip bones, pert hard nipples especially the pierced one. It was the magpie in him. Brendan was attracted to its sparkle.

Steven's slight yet defined abs came up in sharp relief with every exhalation. Brendan traced their contours with his tongue and marvelled at the trail of moisture he left on the lad's skin. How when he blew on it Steven shuddered and goose pimples came up. Delectable. He could feast on this lad for days… weeks. Years.

He climbed onto the desk then he climbed Steven. Then moved them so that they were comfortably placed square on the desk. He had never loved the inanimate object so much. He saw it in a new light. This was a use for it that he could get used to.

"What if Paul walks in?" The lad whispered without a shred of conviction because he, like Brendan, was beyond caring.

"He always knocks first."

"Okay." Steven's hand encouraged Brendan's to ghost over his scanty treasure trail where hairs stood on end, down his trousers and beneath his pants where his cock stood to attention.

Brendan wrapped his warm hand around the engorged cock and stroked it while their lips clung together. He spat on his hand to get better glide and resumed. Steven's whimper tore a chunk out of the CEO's self-control. His gentle gyrations up into Brendan's fist were erotic; like an exotic dancer fucking a pole.

Steven let his legs splay out only to wrap them around Brendan's waist. Brendan felt the lad's inner thighs against his sides. His warmth all around him.

Steven reached for the CEO's dick and returned the favour.

This position was dangerous. It generated a vivid sense memory. Made Brendan go from naught to sixty in less than a second.

_"I like it on my back. It feels good."_

Brendan freed Steven's cock from its confines so he could see it. He looked down. It was thick and rigid, weighted and coloured by blood in his palm. It was beautiful.

He ran his thumb over the moist head and came away with viscous clear precum. He fed it to the lad who relished it as if it were a fish main course. His favourite.

Brendan smiled.

Steven was horny.

Fuck it. He was horny.

Steven moaned softly when Brendan pushed his foreskin back then played with his frenulum.

He moaned loudly when Brendan's grip was firmer, rubbing over the lad's slit repeatedly until the sensation bordered between exquisite torture and delight.

"Oh my God! Brendan!"

"Shhh." Brendan whispered.

He spat on the hand then he navigated his slicked hand down Ste's underpants again.

He captured his employee's lips and locked them against his and threw away the key. Steven's moans and groans now transferred through his body, muted, but Brendan felt their vibrations through his mouth as they kissed and his chest heaved against the lad's.

He knew he had to silence the lad with a kiss before doing what he was doing now. His hand moved over Steven's cock. Down. A quick hello to his balls. Over his perineum and closer to the place where Brendan wanted to bury himself in.

Steven accommodated him, tilting his pelvis to ease Brendan's mission. He got so fucking easy when he was _on _like this. Presenting himself to Brendan. Begging to be interfered with by the Irishman through his actions.

"Yes!" He sighed against Brendan's mouth.

Then the CEO heard a word he hated hearing whether in or out of bed.

"Wait." Steven whispered and tried to clamp his legs together.

He only managed to clamp Brendan more firmly to him so he pushed his hand against Brendan's face instead.

"What?"

"The door has no locks."

_Fucksake._

But Steven had a point.

As if on cue there was a knock on the office door followed by the door slowly opening.

That was atypical of Paul. Normally he knocked then waited for permission to enter.

Steven shoved Brendan off him.

Brendan quickly scampered off Steven, off the desk. He got back into his chair before the door fully opened; his erection discreetly covered from sight by his desk.

Steven was not so lucky. He had pulled his pants up to cover his cock but he was still laying on the vast mahogany when Paul walked in and closed the door.

On instinct, Steven awkwardly rolled off the desk to land on the floor… on the opposite side to Brendan.

Brendan would have been concerned by the sound of the loud thud had Steven not been so quick to stand up.

He had turned beetroot red.

"Oh shit-" Paul said as he took in the scene; unable to avert his gaze. "Sorry. I didn't-"

Steven looked embarrassed as he grabbed his shirt and tie from the desk and got dressed at lightning speed in the presence of boss/lover and colleague/friend. Shirt on and buttoned. Trousers zipped and buttoned over erection. Shirt tucked in. Tie slipped over neck, tightened, and adjusted. Shoes put on. Hair flattened but boner slower to come down.

"I didn't mean to interrupt you." The PA said.

"You didn't interrupt anything." Steven's lie was pointless.

The truth was blatant.

Brendan looked at him, raised a brow and rubbed his chin; hiding a smile.

"Your belt." Paul said.

Steven followed his friend's pointed finger and plucked the accessory from where it was draped over the computer monitor and threaded it through the loops of his trousers before buckling it up.

"Thanks." He whispered to the floor.

"You're welcome," Paul looked at the two of them and smiled.

"Stop smiling like that." Steven said self-consciously.

"I'm not." Paul's grin broadened as he clocked the papers on the floor. Then he saw Steven's stubble burned face and the tented material at his groin.

Brendan watched the lad cover the tell-tale bulge in his trousers.

Steven was worried about coming across unprofessional. Like some sex-crazed corporate gold digger.

To someone who didn't know the lad better Brendan could see how it might look like he was, taking this scene in, but it was PAUL who had caught them red handed.

Paul knew the truth.

"What do you want, Paulie-boy?" Brendan asked impatiently.

"I should go." Ste said once he had 'composed' himself. "I've got work to do. We can continue to, um, talk later, Bren."

A sharp laugh escaped Paul's throat.

_Talk. _

Ha_._

"You can stay." Brendan said. His hands settled on the desk. Ste knew it was warm from his body heat.

"Actually, boss." Paul's smile dropped and he scratched the back of his head anxiously. "There are a couple of people waiting to see you outside. That's why I rushed in."

"Who?"

Paul's expression became sombre. "Um. I have made them wait in the meeting room."

An evasive answer meant that this wasn't something that Paul thought Steven should know about,

The CEO said,

"Fine. Steven, I'll call you later, yeah?"

"Yeah. Okay." Steven took a breath and added, "Mr Brady."

{~}

Brendan watched Steven leave.

"I'm really sorry for breaking up the fun, boss." Paul said seriously.

Brendan grunted his reply. "This better be good."

"I didn't want to say anything in front of Ste." Paul said. "But I have two police officers from Chester PD outside."

That was not what Brendan had expected.

At all.

He cracked his knuckles as he sat back in his chair. "What do they want?"

"I don't know." Paul replied. "They just said that they wanted to speak with you if you were in. I put them in the meeting room so that they wouldn't draw attention to themselves. I figured you wouldn't want gossip to spread through the office. Should I be worried about anything?"

"Fuck if I know, Paulie-boy."

"I can stall them for a bit longer…"

Brendan stood up. "No. Show them in."

"Okay." Paul said. He smiled as he picked up the scattered papers on the floor. "I should probably clear this first and you may want to do up your trousers."

{~}

The two police officers entered Brendan's office- one in uniform, one out- and Brendan dismissed his PA.

He indicated the empty seats opposite his desk. "Morning, officers."

What a rapid change of circumstances. A few minutes ago the room was positively filled with heat. Now the atmosphere was frosty.

The plainclothes officer had a direct look about her. Her eyes bored into Brendan's for so long that he wondered what was going through her mind. Eventually she took her seat next to her colleague.

Brendan could have sworn that her eyes narrowed at him then. She made him feel ill at ease.

When she spoke her tone was clipped, economical. The opposite of warm and fuzzy.

"Mr Brady, I'm detective Sue Rollins with Chester PD. Thank you for your time. I appreciate you are a busy man so we won't take up too much of it."

Brendan recognised the name straight away. He found her mobile phone number in Steven's wallet during the retreat.

This police visit was about him.

"What can I do for you, detective?" Brendan asked.

Did this have anything to do with Steven's strange behaviour at the hotel, the overturned room?

Or Caden?

Or the spiked drink?

Or the letters that the lad hadn't yet opened up to him about?

"I have some questions I'd like to ask you. We are investigating a case concerning one of your employees." The detective said.

"Who?" Brendan wanted clarification in case he was barking up the wrong tree.

"I am afraid that for now I cannot reveal a name. It may make him or her vulnerable. What I can tell you is that they are not under suspicion. They are not the one being charged with a crime." She said. "This is a fact finding visit. We have reason to believe that the employee in question may be in grave danger."

Brendan swallowed hard. "Why?"

"I'm afraid I cannot say at the moment."

Given the previous night's events Brendan was thinking about Caden.

'_The little gobshite mugged me off to the bizzies. Told them that I were sending him hate mail. As if.'_

Caden had been aggressive and with his history was a potential source of harm to Steven.

"That looks painful." The detective said.

She was looking at his hands.

Brendan looked down at his scuffed, red and swollen knuckles.

"Looks worse than it feels. I was bare-knuckle boxing. Keeps me fit."

She gave him a small smile. "Doesn't sound like a smart thing to do."

He smiled back. "It isn't."

"When?"

"Yesterday."

The lies had begun. Already.

She took out a small notepad from her handbag. She consulted it briefly then said,

"This weekend you and 40 other senior members of staff from _Clover Corp_ and its daughter companies went on a retreat in Scotland."

"Yes."

Brendan was surprised. What did the retreat have to do with Caden or the hate mail?

"This retreat. It started on Friday morning and ran through to Sunday."

"Yes." He said. "I'm sorry, why is this relevant?"

She ignored his question and said,

"You only arrived to the campsite on Loch Earn on Friday evening… No. My apologies. In the middle of night."

"It was at ten pm." Brendan sat up straight in his desk. "Just after."

Why was this starting to feel like an interrogation?

"Why didn't you arrive in the morning like everyone else?"

"I was at work. Here. Until five. Somebody had to keep the ship on course. "

"I see." The detective scribbled something on her notepad.

"Why is the retreat relevant?" Brendan asked.

"Something the employee said. Some events that occurred during the weekend." She said vaguely. "I have already collected statements from staff at the Four Seasons Hotel where you and your staff stayed. We got a list of everyone who checked in with them over the weekend including your employees and their partners. Who turned up and with whom. Who didn't show up…"

She looked at him and Brendan frowned because as far as he was aware all forty members turned up.

"Who checked out early." She smiled. "… It made for compelling reading."

What did she mean by compelling reading? Was she suggesting that she knew that Steven 'bed-hopped' from Walker to him and that Walker didn't stay the final night because Brendan threatened him with further harm if he dared?

Did she know that Steven and him were more than boss and employee?

"This was the first retreat you attended, wasn't it, Mr Brady?"

Brendan frowned. "No."

"No. Of course. But you hadn't been to one for a while."

"I attended the first one we had when I first set up the company years ago." Brendan said. His tone was defensive.

"You are not under suspicion if that's your concern." There was something in Sue Rollin's tone that made Brendan feel like she wanted to add '_yet' _to her sentence.

"I am not concerned." Brendan said calmly.

The detective wrote something else down then asked, "Why did you decide to go this year?"

_I went to tell Steven how I felt about him. _

But how saying that going to be even remotely relevant to the detective's case? And Steven did not want to publicise their relationship yet.

"To help boost morale and productivity. We've been lucky. The corporation hasn't suffered as much as others given the financial climate and it's because we do everything we can to stay ahead of the curve. Team bonding is one of those things. I was there to lead from the front."

Detective Rollins raised an eyebrow at him. "Team bonding?"

"Yes."

"That's why you went?"

Brendan shrugged and nodded.

"Could I take a look at the list of all those who attended the retreat?" She asked.

"You said you got those details from the hotel."

"I got a list of who apparently checked in. I would like to compare the two lists to make sure they match."

Brendan nodded. "That shouldn't be a problem. Paul, my PA, organised the whole thing. You can ask him on the way out."

"Thank you."

"So this employee, was he at the retreat?" Brendan asked, already knowing the answer.

"I never said 'he'."

_Shit_.

Brendan didn't miss a beat. "Or she."

The detective only hesitated for a second before saying. "Yes. The employee was there."

"And you're saying that he was in grave danger when he was there. You think that the culprit is amongst those on the list of people who went to the retreat."

"I never said that either."

"But you are fixated on the retreat, detective, so you must have your suspicions."

The detective sighed exasperatedly. "Mr Brady. Leave the detective work to me."

That's one thing he couldn't do. He was worried for Steven's safety.

He agreed. "Okay."

"Did you notice anything suspicious during the retreat? Strange behaviour. Odd pairings. Unexpected arrivals or departures. Anything."

Brendan cleared his throat.

Because he suspected that she had discovered this already he said,

"Yes. One thing. A man called Simon Walker left a day early. He isn't a staff member but has worked with our company for many years as a property scout. He was invited along."

"Did he tell you why he left?"

Brendan shook his head.

No one had been witness to his confrontation with Walker in the man's chalet except Steven and the lad had been very clear he wanted to forget what happened with the Brummie and that he did not want anyone to know or to press charges.

"Not sure. He didn't turn up to activities the next day." Brendan said.

She frowned. "Do you know where I could find him?"

"No."

"You said you work with him."

How could he put this without things looking shady as fuck?

Brendan said. "He no longer works with _Clover Corp_. It's a recent development."

"Since the weekend?"

Brendan tried not to give away the rage he still felt towards Walker for laying an unwelcome hand on Steven.

He nodded.

Sue screwed her face up in confusion. "I feel like I am missing something here."

"You're not. After years together we simply drifted apart. No hard feelings. It was a divorce on amicable grounds."

"Okay." She wrote SIMON WALKER in capital letters and underlined it three times. Then put a question mark near his name.

Brendan sat back in his seat.

She was putting her money on Walker as the person out to harm Steven. Brendan felt ambivalent about that. While he wanted nothing but bad things to go the man's way he actually didn't think Walker was responsible for the spiking or the letters.

Walker's sole motivation in life was personal- usually monetary- gain. He did not stand to gain out of committing the acts that Steven had been subjected to therefore he did not do them.

"This is serious, isn't it?" Brendan said as he thought about Steven.

This was an awful lot of fuss for police to go to for malicious mail charges. There had to be something else that Brendan was missing. That the detective wasn't telling him. Something that warranted a higher level of investigation.

"All police matters are serious, Mr Brady." The detective replied sombrely.

_Tell me you are under control though. That you are narrowing in on a suspect._

_That Steven is safe._

The detective studied Brendan closely. "You seem incredibly concerned."

"Any boss would be." He replied as he thought of Steven.

He cleared his throat.

The detective nodded and leaned over the desk. Her eyes softened a little.

"Look, we are working very hard to find answers but these things can take time. What I do know is that when it comes to the crime in question there is often a pattern of activity. A trend. Trust me, Mr Brady; I am very good at what I do. If there is a lead I'll find it and whoever is at fault here will get what they deserve."

She looked at him and Brendan swallowed hard.

She looked over at her mute colleague then put her notepad away then said,

"Right I think that's it for now."

"That's all?" Brendan asked.

"Yes. For now. Thank you very much for your time."

"You're welcome."

"I may need to ask some of your staff members who were present with you in Scotland some questions."

"And if they refuse?"

"I am hoping it doesn't come to that. No one is on trial here. I am merely asking for witness statements."

She stood up.

Brendan stood up to out of politeness.

"I'll get the list from your PA on my way out. Have a nice day, Mr Brady."

"You too."

The minute the police left Brendan collapsed back into his seat.

His first call was to Walker. They had to get their facts straight, fabricate a consistent story to explain why he left the retreat early and how he got his bruises in case the detective went looking for him. The Brummie was surprisingly congenial. Perhaps it was because Brendan threatened to cry rape on Steven's behalf. He never would but Walker believed him.

Brendan didn't need to call Steven. The lad had already told him what story he was going to use on the folks at work to explain why his went to Scotland with a boyfriend and returned 'single'. Brendan did not need to call him but he wanted to.

"Hi." He said when Steven picked up.

"Hi. That were embarrassing. Do you think Paul saw me willy? I don't think I can ever look at him in the face again." Ste said, all in one breath, _sotto voce_.

"I'm sure he'll recover."

"I'm not thinking about him. I'm talking about me, Brendan!"

Brendan smiled as he recalled how fucking sexy the lad looked sporting wood while lying on wood. "You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"What did he want then?" Steven asked curiously.

"Nothing important." Brendan said. "Look, I'm calling about tonight."

"What? You don't want me to come?"

Jesus H. Christ. Did the lad really not know what he was saying when he was saying it?

"I thought you could stay over."

"Oh." Brendan could hear the grin over the phone line. "Really?" then "No. I didn't go home yesterday either. Me kids. I need to see them. And I need a change of clothes."

"You need a break, Steven. Your kids will understand and don't worry about the clothes. I'll sort it."

"No, Brendan."

Brendan smiled. _No_ wasn't something he heard said to him. Ever. He loved that Steven felt he could use it on misguided.

Brendan did what he wanted and got what he wanted. It is how he had gotten as far as he had in life.

"I'll see you tonight." He said and ended the call.

There was one more call he had to make. Even as he did he knew that he probably shouldn't.

"Hi. It's me. First things first. This conversation is not happening. Has never happened." He said.

There was a grunted laugh at the other end.

Brendan stayed serious. "I have a job for you."

{~}

Amy was speaking to Doug on speakerphone while making supper for her children.

She was dicing potatoes while they spoke.

"What if Brendan is the one who did it?" Doug said.

"We've been over this, Doug. Do you really think he did?"

"I don't know."

"I think it's unlikely. How many times has Ste been alone with him. Brendan has had plenty of chances to hurt Ste if he wanted to."

"Okay. But-"

"I'm tired of playing detective, Doug. We are going round and round in circles and getting more confused and paranoid. Last time we nearly started accusing each other! It's crazy. Let's leave the investigating to the professionals."

"Okay, but then there's the other thing."

"What thing?"

"You know I love Ste right?"

"Yeah. Me too."

"But Benji is right. What is some dude like Brendan doing with him? Especially considering how they met."

"That's what _I'm_ worried about." Amy said. "But at the same time I'm thinking that maybe this is the real deal and this Brendan guy is genuine."

"He paid Ste for sex, Ames."

"Yes, but Ste took the money. It was where they were in their lives at the time."

"Do you want Ste to go out with a guy who thinks it's okay to objectify someone?"

"No! Course not! I'm just saying that if you flip it many would say 'could you trust or be with someone who was capable of selling their own body for sex?' Do you know what I mean?"

Doug sighed. "When you put it that way."

Amy rinsed her potatoes then put them into a pot of cold water with a dash of salt. She turned the hob on.

"Ste totally deserves a happy ending." She said.

"Do you think he'll get it with this guy?"

"I don't know. I haven't met him yet. Well except that time at the opening night of your exhibition. But I didn't even know it was him and he was on the other side of the room so."

"I spoke to him on the phone yesterday when Ste stayed over. He actually seemed okay. Maybe I am just being overcautious because of the last time Ste tried having a boyfriend."

"Caden was and is a nut job."

"Exactly! What does that say about how Ste picks them?"

"Says the guy who travelled across the Atlantic to be with the man of his dreams only to be dumped within weeks!"

"That's cold! But point taken. Anyway look at me now. I've moved on with Benji."

"So maybe Brendan is Ste's Benji, if you know what I mean." Amy said as she turned her attention to making salad. "Is he still giving his statement?"

Doug looked around relatively empty reception area of the police station he was sitting in.

"Yeah." He looked at his watch. "But it's taking ages. All he had to say is that Caden tracked him down and that he ran away from him straight away."

"Maybe the detective has an update on the malicious mail problem?"

"Maybe." Doug's stomach grumbled. "I'm starving and if I don't get home soon Benji will feel tempted to cook."

"Shit." Amy sympathised.

"Yeah."

Amy grinned. "Seriously. You should tell him he can't."

"Me! Tell him he can't cook!" Doug laughed. "And risk being killed!? No thanks. I'll just come over to yours for food."

"Sure. I've got plenty going. Ste called to say he is staying over at Brendan's tonight. Has he told you?"

"Yeah." Doug said. He looked up to see Ste walking towards him with his hands in his pockets looking morose. "Gotta go. He's out."

"Oh. Okay." Amy said. "Say hi to him for me."

"Amy says hi." Doug said to Ste.

"And tell him to give me a ring when he gets to Brendan's place and tomorrow morning." She added.

"God, you're worse than me, woman." Doug said and ended the call.

He looked at his friend. "Amy wants you tagged, buddy."

Ste ignored him, sighed heavily and headed out of the police station and into the cold winter weather.

Doug rushed after his friend, shuddering as his body hit the frosty night air. "So how did it go with the po-po?"

"Yeah. Okay." Ste mumbled. His breath blew clouds of condensation in his friend's direction. "Detective Rollins says that if I want I can file for a restraining order against Caden. She says I've got enough grounds."

He looked left then right for a taxi to hail down.

"That's good, isn't it?" Doug said.

Ste nodded vigorously but he still looked upset. "She asked a bunch of questions about Brendan, Simon and the retreat."

"Why?"

"Well, remember we came after the retreat and I told her what happened there with the phone call and the skipping stones?"

He had been careful to keep Brendan and Simon, especially the altercation, out of his account so he was even more baffled about why she had brought their names up specifically.

"Yes."

"She says she has been doing some investigating since then."

"What has she found out?"

"She wouldn't say exactly just that she is seeing 'patterns emerging'. What does that even mean? She asked me to give her a list of my clients. Ex-clients."

"Really? Why?"

"I guess she still thinks one of them could be the guy. She promised that if they were innocent that their lives wouldn't be ruined by the investigation."

"Did you give them to her?" Doug asked.

Ste felt like he had betrayed them all. The _Dirty Dozen_ weren't saints by any stretch of the imagination but they had trusted Ste and his discretion and Ste considered himself a man of his word. So this felt like treachery.

"Yes."

"You did the right thing." Doug said gently. "I know you feel shit about it now but if the _Dozen_ and Brendan are in the clear then they'll be fine. And as long as the people in their lives don't find out then their reputations will remain intact."

"Yeah. I guess." Ste said.

"Remember, no crime was committed as far as your escorting and their use of your service is concerned. You weren't soliciting and you were all consenting adults who went into your transaction willingly."

"But still I should text them or summat, right? Warn them that the police might ask them questions."

"No! Are you kidding?! How do you think they'll react, dude? They won't be happy to hear from you. You said detective Rollins knows what she is doing, right? Let her do her thing. She may even be able to keep your name out of it. But maybe you should tell Noah and Brendan. They are still in your life."

"Shit. Noah." Ste went pale.

Doug clutched his shoulder and gave it a tight comforting squeeze. "I can be there for moral support when you tell him if you want."

"No. You just want to perv on him."

Doug smiled. "That too."

"It's okay. I'll be fine. I'm seeing him the day after tomorrow. I'll tell him then."

Ste turned his attention back to the road and his search for a taxi. "Where are all the cabs?"

"One will be along."

"Eya, I forgot to say, I told Brendan about Caden." Ste said.

Doug looked shocked. He wrapped his scarf more tightly around his neck and hugged his middle to keep warm. "What about him?"

"Everything." Ste said.

"Shit really?"

Ste nodded. "And he was really cool about it. That's a good thing, int'it."

"Yeah. Yeah. It is. I'm surprised. Straight up, that's a lot to hear. Are you saying that because you're thinking about telling him about the letters and the police investigation tonight?"

"I don't know. I'm scared about how he'll react, you know. He'll probably be like 'what the fuck. There's even _more_ shit?'"

"If that happens then it wasn't meant to be. But if he is someone you want to have in your life, for the long haul, you'll need to tell him at some point. "

"Yeah. But now? In the space of a few weeks he has found out that I'm a dad and that I have a psycho ex-boyfriend and that is on top of the escorting stuff. If I tell him this he won't want to know, will he?"

Not when what they had was still so fragile and easily breakable.

"You should do what feels right." Doug finally said with conviction. "Hopefully he'll understand either way. Besides he probably has bigger skeletons in his closet that he hasn't told you about yet."

Ste smiled wryly. "I doubt that."

"Dude, tonight you should concentrate on the good stuff. Enjoy each other's company. Forget the heavy shit. Have lots of sex!"

"Doug!"

"Trust me. You'll miss it when it's gone."

Ste smiled. "Are those Doug's words of advice?"

"Damn right!"

"You're right funny, you. Is Benji still holding back?"

Doug's smile was smug. "Nope. Not anymore. Droughts over. Thank fuck."

Ste laughed.

"Ey, Ste." Doug said.

"Um."

Doug was looking all solemn.

"Just promise me that this time you'll tell me and Amy if things aren't right with him. You're new fellow. That you'll give us a chance to help you sooner rather than later."

He was being serious. That was the problem and always would be. Doug and Amy were petrified that history would repeat itself and that Ste would enter into another destructive relationship. That is why they were struggling to relax about Brendan.

Ste couldn't blame them.

He pulled his friend into a heartfelt hug.

"I promise." He said.

Brendan was great. Supportive. Serious. Fun. Intelligent. Hot. Ste couldn't wait to see him tonight.

"There you are then." Doug smiled. "Love you, man."

Ste smiled back. "Love you too."

He finally managed to flag a cab down. It drew to a stop in front of him. He told the cabbie through the driver's open window, "Watergate Street" then reached for the handle.

Before opening the door Doug said,

"So I guess you'll just have a normal quiet night in tonight?"

"Yep."

Doug's grin was broad. Cheeky.

"So Brendan will be waiting in that luxury apartment of his with some gourmet food that he learned to cook on a _Cordon Bleu_ course in France. All served on fine china and accompanied with a one hundred and fifty pound bottle of vintage wine."

Ste smiled. "He doesn't cook."

"Or he'll be dressed in a tux on the roof of his place which probably has a heli-pad…"

"It doesn't have a helipad!"

Doug's eyes were shimmering with mirth. "Have you checked because people like him have helipads, Ste? And helicopters to land on them."

"No he doesn't!"

"I bet you he does! So he's probably waiting there in his tux freezing his ass off, the ends of his moustache white with frost, but still looking smoking. Like an Irish Bond. His helicopter will be ready for departure and he's wondering where the fuck you are because he has block booked a restaurant just for the two of you in Paris, before a night of _amour_ in a luxurious five star hotel with a direct view of the Eiffel tower!"

"You have an imagination, you!" Ste said in amusement. "Sorry to disappoint your dream but we are planning to stay in and do take out."

"I need to teach that guy how to spend money."

The taxi driver honked and stared at them impatiently.

"Oil, fellas. I haven't got all night. You getting in or not?"

Ste had forgotten that he had been about to get into the cab. His hand was still on the passenger door.

"Yeah. Sorry." He told the driver. To Doug, he said "You coming?" as he opened the door.

"I think I'll walk. I'm only fifteen minutes away." Doug said.

"Cool."

Ste hopped into the warm interior of the taxi.

Once again, Doug stopped him, this time from closing the door.

Ste was getting the impression that Doug was trying to keep him from leaving.

"What?"

Doug hesitated. "Um. Nothing. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah. See you." Ste waved. "And stop worrying because I know you are. Things will be different this time."

"I know they will."


	28. Gladys

_**Hi, I haven't spell checked this at all so there will be crazy stupid typos and mistakes... Basically wanted to keep at least half a promise and get something out to you. **_

_**This chapter is low on plot and high on smut. **_

_**Plotwise the story starts hotting up again with Chapter 29.**_

_**Chips x ** _

**_P.S. Thanks for the comments. They make me make weird sounds and do things like punch the air and laugh at my computer and get all emosh_**

**{~}**

Ste hopped into the warm interior of the taxi.

Once again, Doug stopped him, this time from closing the door.

Ste was getting the impression that Doug was trying to keep him from leaving.

"What?"

Doug hesitated. "Um. Nothing. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah. See you." Ste waved. "And stop worrying because I know you are. Things will be different this time."

"I know."

Ste grinned. "Can I close the door now please?"

Doug paused, then hopped into the cab, forcing Ste to scoot over. "Changed my mind. I will take that ride. It's fucking freezing."

"You're acting well weird you."

Doug made himself comfortable as the taxi started off. He breathed warm air into cupped hands to warm up. "Yeah. Well, actually. I just had an idea. Benji's probably made me dinner-"

"Supper." Ste corrected. "Dinner is lunch."

"Doesn't make sense no matter how many times you say it, dude." Doug said. "So Benji has probably made me something to eat, which as you know is basically a death sentence to taste buds."

"True."

"…And I haven't had a chance to get to know Brendan yet…" The American continued.

_Where is this going?_

Doug gave Ste his most winning smile and concluded, "And you said you were having take out so-"

The penny dropped.

"No, Doug."

"But-"

"No. I am not having you come over to his place so you can give him the third degree."

"I won't."

"You will."

"What if I promise to be good?"

Ste sighed heavily. He had not pictured an evening of Doug, Brendan and him. Three was definitely a crowd.

"It's just so I get a feel for him, Ste."

Ste thought about it and relented. "Promise you won't be twat to him then."

Doug smiled. "I promise."

"And that you'll stay for one drink only."

Doug tried to protest but Ste interrupted him. "One drink, Doug and then I get to have some alone time with him."

{~}

Steven was taking ages.

The temptation to call him and ask his whereabouts was strong but Brendan resisted. For one thing his friend Doug was with him so he was safe. For another it would have come across as an overbearing move for a two day relationship.

"_Where are you? I was expecting you at blah blah…"_

Shit a nagging wife would say and Brendan was no nagging wife. He was a man who had received a visit from the boys in blue that confirmed that his boy was in danger.

That knowledge did terrible things to his nerves so he distracted himself with a shower then changed into something more comfortable and poured himself a shot of whiskey.

And then another.

This was going to be strange. This was the first time Steven was going to come over since the dissolution of their contract; since they were no longer sex worker and client. Since they were something else; something more conventional.

This meant that Brendan hadn't needed to cash a load of money on his way home from work and place it in the key bowl by the door. He did not have to come up with an excuse to tell Steven why he needed to see him again. And Steven wouldn't have to come with his black satchel in tow. His bag of magic tricks.

That Brendan wasn't happy about. He liked that bag. Loved it. Missed it already…

Maybe he could persuade Steven to resurrect it and its contents.

At least it was the only thing he would miss. He wouldn't miss the sharing; that gnawing feeling over the fact that he had no special rights or hold over Steven. He wouldn't miss the paying either; not because it was costly- it barely made a dent to his budget- but because of the principle behind it. What it suggested about how much value Brendan placed on Steven and his body.

Tonight was a new beginning. The start of something. Moving the apartment from a 'call out venue' to 'my boyfriend's place'.

Jesus H. C.

Brendan just thought the word _boyfriend_. If his sister were able to read his thoughts she would probably squeal then pass out with excitement.

_Get a grip. No need to get carried away. It's early days. _

Thinking the word boyfriend made Brendan think of Steven and thinking of Steven reminded him that he was worried for the lad's safety.

So he picked up his phone, unable to stop himself from making the call.

Luckily the doorbell rang. Luckily because his cool façade had been this close to being smashed to pieces.

He released a breath that he had not realised he was holding.

He spoke into the intercom, "Come in" and pressed the button.

Then he waited.

There was only one aim in mind now.

He was going to fuck the lad silly.

Anxiety had been quickly replaced by lust. The little grope they had had in the morning had whet Brendan's appetite. On more than one occasion that mahogany desk and the memories it brought had distracted him during the meetings that followed in his office.

When Steven finally walked into the apartment Brendan was waiting.

He grabbed the lad's cold coat and pulled him in, chest to chest. He pressed his lips against Steven's cool lips coaxing them with intent and passion. He ignored the chill that transferred his way. Ste would warm up soon anyway, once Brendan got him out of his clothes.

He set himself to purpose until Ste stopped him by grabbing his wrists and pulled away and breathed air at Brendan as he spoke softly against his lips, embarrassment tinging his tone.

"Um. This is Doug." He pulled back to reveal a young man. A young man who gave Brendan a quick salute and an awkward cough. "You know, the artist friend."

Shitting hell.

"Hi." Doug said.

Brendan was not happy. Did he miss the part where Ste said he was bringing a plus one? Because had he known then he wouldn't have thought it was a good idea to greet the boy in his boxer briefs.

"Wasn't expecting anyone else, Steven."

Ste had the decency to look apologetic. "Nor were I. Sorry. Doug wanted to meet ya."

Fucking friends. Fucking cock-blocking friends. Brendan had just discovered another reason why it was good that he kept the few he had at arm's length.

"Do you mind?" Ste asked.

Doug.

Just like at the exhibition Brendan was struck by the passing resemblance between them. Nearly the same height. Nearly the same eye colour. Nearly the same hair colour.

The American was scanning the place, taking in the detail with a look of amazement.

What could Brendan say?

He couldn't come across the arsehole so he lied to justify his state of undress, "Just got out of the shower." Then, "I'll get dressed. One minute. Make yourselves at home. Steven, we still doing take out?"

"Yeah, but Doug's only staying for a drink." He said.

"I can stay for food." Doug said.

"He really can't." Ste insisted.

Brendan insisted that if he was going to put up with company that he going to put on some clothes first so he headed for the stairs.

{~}

"That's who you've been sleeping with!?" Doug whispered loudly as he pointed to where Brendan stood moments ago.

"Yeah."

"And when I say that I mean that…" Doug wafted his hand over his groin with his jaw hanging open. "Wow, Ste." Then he roamed around the vast room. "And this… this is nice too."

"What do you want to drink?" Ste put his rucksack on the white leather couch and headed for the kitchen area.

"OJ. Please."

Ste poured some juice from the fridge with shaky hands for both of them then sat them down at the bar.

This felt familiar. Being in this space. Like he had never been away.

He was feeling nervous. Getting Doug's approval felt like a big deal.

"So what do you think about him?" He asked and held his breath.

Maybe Doug would see signs that Brendan wasn't right and wasn't right for him. Early signs that would avoid him later heartache and pain.

"Strong first impression." Doug grinned. "Big … … … apartment."

Ste read between the lines. "Are you talking about his-"

Brendan walked down the spiral staircase. His footfall cut Ste's sentence off.

His words as he approached Doug and Ste were,

"I was starting to worry about you, Steven."

Ste looked at the time then at Brendan. He was dressed now, disappointingly, in a familiar t-shirt and tracksuit bottoms.

Doug said a barely audible, "Aww. He was worried."

"Yeah. It took a bit longer at the station than I thought it would."

"Everything okay?" Brendan asked.

Ste couldn't look him in the eye when he said, "Yep. I'm getting a restraining order on him. Caden."

"He won't hurt you again." Brendan said firmly. "Don't worry about that."

Ste didn't get why Brendan seemed so sure. No one could be while Caden was still out and about.

Ste said, with just as much conviction. "I won't let him scare me."

Brendan nodded. "Good. Still you've got to be careful out there."

"That's what I keeping telling him." Doug said.

"You hungry?" Brendan asked suddenly.

The way he looked at Ste made the lad know that his question carried double meaning. Ste looked over to his friend then back at Brendan.

"Yeah."

Brendan walked past him and brushed a hand over his arse- subtly so Doug wouldn't notice and raise an eyebrow- as he headed behind the bar. He delved underneath, came up with a wedge of take away menus and passed them to Ste.

"Pick what you want."

Ste leafed through the menus and came up with,

"Japanese, please."

Ste gave the order.

Brendan made the call.

Doug asked some questions.

"So how long have you lived here?"

"A few years."

"It's a big place for one person." Doug commented.

Ste gave Doug a sharp look.

Brendan said, "Some might say."

"A lot of people would say. Ever thought about sharing with someone?"

That got Brendan. Ste could see the tightening of his body, the firm set of his jaw, the vein that popped up on his forehead. Tension throughout.

Doug frowned. He knew he had hit a nerve too. "Or have you already… shared with someone?"

"No." Was the brisk reply.

What was Doug playing at? Brendan probably thought that Ste had already been talking about moving in with him to his friends.

"Doug's only saying that because you could fit his flat and my house in your apartment and you'd still have room. That's all." Ste said.

"Where are my paintings?" Doug said.

Ste groaned.

"In Ireland."

Ste looked at Brendan. What?

"In my house in Ireland." Brendan said.

"Oh." Ste vaguely remembered Brendan saying something about this being his pied-à-terre, a home from home.

"Like hanging up on display?" Doug asked.

"Yeah. You got any other questions for me, Douglas?" Brendan asked. He placed his hands on the bar counter and leaned over like a barman taking an order; trying to look calm but coming across anything but.

"Yes." Doug said.

"No." Ste said.

"Have you got any brothers or sisters?"

What did that have to do with anything?

"He has a sister." Ste said on Brendan's behalf. "Cheryl."

"And a da and a ma." Brendan added coolly.

"Where are they?"

"Back home. What about you, Dougie? You got a daddy and mammy?"

"My dad died of cancer when I was five. Mum's back in Philly. No siblings."

Brendan poured himself a drink. Another shot of whiskey.

"Doug's like you, Brendan. Moved from abroad to settle in Chester."

"I came for love." Doug said. "Didn't work out like I'd hoped. What about you?"

"Same." Brendan said.

Doug raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Ste sat up and paid attention.

"No." Brendan smiled. "I came to make my fortune."

Doug smiled too and Ste saw a glimmer of hope.

"Yeah, you don't strike me as the grand romantic gesture kind of guy?"

"What do I strike you as then?"

"Can't make my mind up." Doug took a sip of his orange juice.

{~}

"He doesn't need to come again." Brendan said, once Ste had seen Doug out and closed the door.

He came up to Ste folded him into his arms, groin to groin. It was times like this when they were up close and personal, that Ste realised their difference in size. Brendan was a good five inches taller and broader. More muscle mass.

Ste liked that… so much more to play with.

He brought his hands up, run fingers over Brendan's cheek to feel the roughness of his stubble. Then he combed his fingers through his hair.

He had wanted to do that since getting here with Doug.

"I'm sorry. Doug's just being protective." He said. "At least it weren't Amy."

Brendan gave him a mock look of horror. "There's worse to come? Fuck."

His hands linked behind Ste's back then rested comfortably at the base of his spine.

"Yeah! That were nothing!" Ste said. "He didn't mean anything by it, by the way, you sharing a house with someone. He weren't trying to say that we should or nothing."

Brendan tensed against him once again, then breathed, then said, "I didn't think that was what he was suggesting."

"Oh." Ste sighed with relief. He didn't want another reason to scare Brendan off, did he? "Funny how he saw you in your kecks though, weren't it?"

"Not really! That was not the party I signed up to."

"What were you planning then?" All innocent like. Like he didn't know what designs Brendan had had on him.

Brendan gave him a look that hinted at an answer and a hungry kiss that said it all.

This was the greeting that Ste had wanted until Doug spoiled his plans.

This, with Brendan coiling Ste around his body, winding tongues and scratching skin under clothes in urgency. Brendan's breath was hot against his neck and his bite unexpected; sharp then softened with a kiss and a caress of the tongue. The tongue wound up Ste's jaw and to his ear. His earlobe was tugged and made him breathe heavily and gasp and lift a leg around Brendan's thigh.

Brendan's big hands cupped him then, palming his butt cheeks and drawing him in, guiding them and Ste into rubbing himself against Brendan. The friction was torture and the hand that delved into the back of his suit trousers determined and warm against his skin.

He was being pushed backwards, so quickly that he nearly lost his footing. His back collided against the door to the apartment. It shuddered under the impact. Brendan trapped him there. His hands either side of Ste's face and he leaned in so that his body weighed on Ste's. Their eyes connected and they shared breath and Ste reached up for a kiss and Brendan smiled before pulling away.

He was teasing him.

How cruel.

Ste's shirt came off; partly through unbuttoning, partly through lifting it off, partly through tearing it off his body. The point is, it came off. And Ste was sure he heard a button or two pop off. That cheesed him off a bit.

"What am I going to wear tomorrow?" He asked as Brendan kissed over his jaw and ground against him so that Ste ground back until he forgot his question…

Until Brendan whispered,

"I've got it covered."

Well that was okay then and Brendan kissed him so that Ste wanted more. He pulled at the hem of Brendan's t-shirt trying to lift it off him. The Irishman chuckled.

"Patience. Patience." And he dipped lower to tongue Ste's collar bone and then his chest just over where his heart was going like the clappers and then over his nipple.

Ste looked down because he loved seeing the master at work; Brendan undoing his trousers with one hand, nimble. Button and zip dealt with in a flash. Ste helped. It was the least he could do. He shimmied out of his trousers letting them drop to his ankles. He tried to get out of his underwear.

No chance.

Brendan grasped his cock through the cotton material. Ste gasped as Brendan felt the length of it, rigid and straining, through the thin cloth. His mouth grinned against Ste's teeth as he traced its length.

"This is all I could think about." Brendan murmured as he stroked Ste's cock slowly.

His tongue darted out and scrape a moist lick over Ste's lips. "This." He brought their hips together and the thrusts were fluid against Ste. "All fucking day."

That tongue.

It was back on Ste's chest leaving a trail of hypersensitive skin. Ste bet Bren was brilliant with his tongue like with tongue twisters and that party trick where a cherry stem could be tied into a knot because there was the thing he did with his tongue that he was doing right now, like feathery flutters, then deeper, firmer ones that made Ste arch into him and gasp. He was so glad he got the piercing because it enhanced the sensation. And Brendan liked playing with it. He tugged at it with his teeth. Softly. It was the magpie in him, Ste reckoned. He liked the sparkle. Then Brendan pushed it one way then the other.

Then tugged it hard.

That hurt.

"Aw." Ste opened his eyes and realised he had closed them. "That hurt."

Brendan grinned at him.

Fine, he could have another go on Ste's nipples since he was so good at it. And since he smiled.

So Ste went to kiss him again to give him permission as if Brendan needed it. He did what he wanted with Ste's body and Ste loved it.

But Brendan pulled away.

Ste leaned closer so that their foreheads touched but Brendan's lips evaded capture.

"Jesus, don't tempt me." Brendan whispered. Even as he said it his lips gripped Ste's lower one and sucked and let go and sighed. "Fuck."

And he moved away from Ste and from the door so that what had felt like a warm room was instantly cold. A metre lay between them; air full of crackle and pop.

Ste felt disorientated by lust, confused by Brendan's rejection until he saw that the feral look was not gone from the Irishman's eyes. So he moistened his lips.

"Food's coming. Can't have a boner for the delivery guy. I think enough people have seen us undressed for one day." Brendan said. "Besides. I'm starving."

"Oh."

"Don't pout."

"I'm not."

"Don't worry. I'll fuck you later." Brendan's smile was cocky as fuck. "I'm having your arse for dessert. Get dressed."

"God, you're so full of yourself, you!" Ste said. "Do you know that?"

He started tugging on his clothes until he realised his shirt was in a worse state than he thought. Then he wondered what the point was... in getting dressed.

"Actually." He looked at Brendan and had a thought. A naughty thought. Something that he hoped Brendan would enjoy as much as he knew he would. "Do you mind if I have a shower before we eat?"

He walked up to Brendan. Correction- he plastered himself to Brendan.

"Food's not here yet." Brendan laughed. "Go ahead."

Ste smiled seductively.

"I'm not coming. I'm not falling for that, Steven."

Ste bristled. "Who invited you anyway?" He said petulantly.

He wasn't that disappointed. He had a trick up his sleeve.

{~}

Steven slipped into a t-shirt and clean pair of boxers that he found in Brendan's room. Both were far too big on him.

It didn't matter.

He wasn't planning to be in them long. Brendan had another thing coming if he thought Ste was going to wait until they finished eating before getting it on. They had been apart for too long. It was time to catch up on lost time. Their time together at the weekend had only fired Ste's desire.

The food- sushi, sashimi, wasabi and soy sauce- and drink, sake, had already arrived by the time he got back to the living area.

While Brendan got out crockery and chopsticks and put them on the glass coffee table Ste got out of his clothes.

Brendan looked confused when Ste then put the crockery and food on the edge of the table.

"Is there a reason why your clothes are off, Steven?"

Ste plonked himself on the cool glass of the coffee table and shivered at the cool feeling on his buttocks and backs of thighs. He gave Brendan a defiant smile and lay back on the low table, along its length. He was too long for it so he bent his knees and plant his feet on the edges of it.

"Yep." He said, as if it was no unusual thing.

"Care to share." Brendan lifted an eyebrow. He was intrigued.

"You said you wanted to eat first, right?" Ste said.

"Yes." The affirmation held a question mark that said, _'yes, so what the fuck are you doing?'_

His eyes glided down Ste's body and Ste felt it as if it were Brendan's actual touch. He wanted nothing more than for Brendan to jump his bones but that didn't look likely to happen.

So Ste was compromising. Wasn't that one of the foundations of a longstanding relationship.

"So I had an idea." He said.

Brendan's eyes snapped back to Ste's from his perusal of Ste's bare body.

"What's that?" His eyes drifted once again, over plains of skin, high cheekbones. He honed in on Ste's lips then down his neck and over his slim torso. He tracked the slow rise and fall from Ste's every breath.

Then he stared at Ste's buttocks; how they were flattened by the table and his cock which was flaccid and nestled benignly on his stomach.

Brendan's eyes darkened and his breathing quickened.

"My eyes are over here, Bren."

"Yeah." The man said hoarsely.

The way Brendan looked at him made Ste feel cocooned by desire.

Brendan moved to stand at the foot of the table near Ste's feet and placed his hands on Ste's knees.

"Spread'em." He murmured; voice thick with want.

Ste smiled. This was easier than he thought it would be. The older man might be the one issuing commands but Ste was the master puppeteer. This was exactly what he had wanted.

He let his thighs part and kept his feet on the corners of the table. Then he lifted his hips up only to settle them down again so that his pelvis was more tilted.

Up towards his man.

A hint.

Brendan drove his hands slowly down Ste's inner thighs, over the hairs on them, pushing outwards to splay Ste's legs even more. They reached Ste's groin, his thumbs wedging into the grove that connected leg with perineum. Brendan was so close to cock and balls it would have been cruel to leave things there, Ste decided. His cock stirred under the strength of his imagination and anticipation.

He locked eyes with Brendan and rocked his hips slightly.

Another hint.

Brendan baited. He caressed the soft skin between Ste's balls and arsehole. Ste moaned and relaxed back into the table.

The smooth surface somehow wasn't as welcome as the rougher surface of the wood this morning. It had been Brendan's desk that had given him this idea now.

"What was your idea then?" Brendan whispered.

"Huh?"

Brendan moved his hands away from Ste's groin.

Hey! What?

"You're naked on my glass table."

So Brendan wasn't going to fuck him right now? Ste was starting to appreciate that Brendan was governed by his stomach first and by his dick second.

He threw in the towel.

In the battle of man versus food, today food won.

"It's called _Nantaimori_."

For council-flat fodder Ste knew his shit. That's what came from being aspirational… and fucking a bi ex-client with a thing for all things Japanese. James had taken him to a function where there had been a 'live female sushi platter'.

Ste himself had never been one before.

This was a first.

"I'm familiar with the practice." Brendan said.

"I thought you might like it. Since you like me as a human shower..."

Brendan's hands traced up and down Ste's thighs, playing havoc with his feelings. Unknowingly mocking him with temptation.

"You won't feel objectified?" Brendan asked seriously but Ste could tell that he liked the idea. A lot.

"You don't make me feel like I am." Ste said honestly. "And I think that it could be fun."

"Could be a lot of fun." Brendan murmured as he took in his naked lover's body below him.

He picked up the platter of sushi and knelt to the side of Ste. "It's going to be cold."

Ste made himself comfortable.

"And you can't move." Brendan added.

"Yeah. Yeah. I can handle it." Ste said dismissively.

He was useless at it. At least at first.

Brendan had five issues with his living sushi platter.

One. Ste breathed too deeply so Brendan found arranging the sushi and sashimi on him "impossible".

Two. The human platter was hungry and eating the food. When Brendan placed a roll on Ste's closed mouth Ste opened it so that it fell into his mouth and ate it. Ste blamed Brendan for putting temptation his way.

Three. Ste's bellybutton was a poor receptacle for the soy sauce when Brendan poured into it. Too shallow apparently. The dark liquid spilled down Ste's stomach so that Brendan had to lap it up chasing the rivulets before they hit the coffee table.

Four. Ste was too ticklish. Brendan's lips and tongue on him when cleaning up the soy sauce made Ste laugh so much that all the food that had been carefully placed on him fell off and onto the table.

Five. Ste's skin was too warm. It was bringing the food too quickly up to room temperature.

Finally, when Ste's laughter had subsided and Brendan had managed to wipe his own smile off his face he said sombrely,

"I'm returning you. Back to sender."

"Why?" Ste pouted.

"You're not fit for purpose." A smile cracked out of the corner of Brendan's mouth. He traced a finger over Ste's tattoo and rested his hand on his stomach. "Such a shame. Such good quality."

Ste took a breath in and out. "Wait. Okay. Start again."

So Brendan reloaded his platter.

Ste finally stayed still and Brendan sat on the floor next to him, cross legged, admiring his handiwork.

"See." Ste said smugly.

"Shush." Brendan said. "Unless you want me to gag you."

Ste whispered, "Please."

And it was dark and desperate and unexpected that word.

Brendan gave him a kiss on his hip and then his groin and then his dick before saying with a hint of roughness,

"Maybe later."

His hand, with chopsticks in tow, hovered over the delectable selection of sushi and sashimi rolls on Ste's chest and stomach.

Ste stayed stock still as the Irishman ate off him as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Brendan sipped away at the sake and poured islands of soy sauce on Ste to dip his rolls into.

Any dropped crumbs of food on Ste were picked up with mouth or hands. His lips and tongue lingered for longer than was necessary on Ste's skin but Ste was resolute in his motionlessness.

Brendan sat back. He ran a finger over the length of Ste's body over a trail vacated by the food he had eaten. Then he curved a palm over Ste's balls, feeling them, rolling them, lifting them. Stopping to pick up another roll and popping it into his mouth before grabbing hold of Ste's cock in a loose fist.

He kissed the head of it and Ste gritted his teeth to avoid pushing his groin up into Brendan's face.

"You did well." Brendan said with a partially full mouth. "I thought you might crack."

Ste gave him a smile but didn't speak.

Brendan leaned over to kiss him softly before leaning back to pick up the multifunction remote control on the couch. He pressed a few buttons and the surround sound audio system in the room kicked in.

The room filled with Motown. Ste smiled. Brendan remembered his love for the music.

"You still hungry?" Brendan asked.

Ste nodded.

"As you've been such a good platter for me…" Brendan got onto his knees and picked up a salmon sashimi with his teeth. He poured some sauce onto Ste's chest and watched as it ran up towards his neck. Brendan dipped the salmon into it and then brought it to Ste's mouth; like a mother bird feeding her young only not because Brendan wasn't about to spit regurgitated food into Ste's waiting mouth.

Ste closed his lips over the fish, bit most of it off and let their mouths meet with a kiss. He chewed and swallowed and sighed at the taste.

"You like that?" Brendan looked down at him in awe; like he was mesmerised.

Ste nodded again.

Brendan parted Ste's mouth with his tongue and spoke into it gently. "You can speak now, Steven."

"Yes. I like it."

Brendan traced his lips over the dark trail caused by the soy sauce on Ste's skin. Ste pulled him down and kissed him again. Deeper. He came off the table to embrace Brendan. The rest of the food fell off him and onto the coffee table.

Ste didn't care. He put his arms over Brendan's shoulders and his hands through his hair.

"I thought you said you were hungry." Brendan whispered.

Ste pulled Brendan on top of him. For a second he had a fear that the glass would shatter under their cumulative weight but it didn't.

His breath was hot against Brendan's.

"Not for food, Brendan."

He wrapped his legs around the taller man like a cobra; his ankles anchored together over Brendan's back. He used the power in them to lift up to Brendan so that his bum came off the table and his chest came flush with the bigger man's. Brendan took his cue and lifted Ste into his arms with strength Ste didn't know he possessed.

Ste was in his arms and clung on, kissing the face off the Irishman as he manoeuvred them off the coffee table and onto the soft rug nearby. Brendan crawled in between his legs and lay on top of him, feasting over him, licking his body to get the flavours of the meal off him.

Their actions were frantic and desperate.

This was dessert.

Ste tugged at Brendan's tracksuit bottoms only getting them down as far as his buttocks before Brendan took over and kicked them off, almost tripped over them as they got stuck at his ankles. Ste kissed him. He bunched up Brendan's t-shirt keen to get it off him too. To get skin on skin but Brendan was having none of it. There was no time for that. He swatted Ste's hands away and pinned them to the floor on either side of his body, close to his sides. He pulled at his nipple piercing and got a moan of pleasure. He firmly held Ste's shoulders and used them as countertraction so he could push into Ste's body. Their groins came together, Ste's sitting on Brendan's, arsehole available for the taking if Brendan so wished.

He didn't. Not yet. He placed feather light kisses all over Ste's body and licked his pits. That earned him a moan. Ste hadn't doused himself in deodorant or moisturiser. He knew that it would be an unpalatable mix with the food. It paid off now. When Brendan explored him with his lips and tongue all he got was a taste of Ste… unaltered by artificiality. He bit down Ste's jaw and told him to open his mouth,

"Wide."

And Ste did and Brendan kissed it and then spat in it and then kissed it again. And then he pushed against him and his dick rubbed against Ste and Ste scratched his nails over Brendan.

He spread his legs wider because enough was enough already and he wanted to get fucked. He had been patient enough. He had been good.

He undulated under Brendan; against him. And his sounds were not for sensitive prudish ears.

He brought the Irishman closer still by digging his nails into the firm flesh of his buttocks. He gripped his arse hard and rubbed up against him.

"Fill me up." He commanded.

And Brendan pulled away. But only for a second. To adjust his position, to grip Ste's thighs and pull him in more. To bring his cock up close and personal with Ste's arse; nudging against him; poking at his balls, dragging over his opening, over and over again.

He roughly pulled Ste's legs back and Ste almost did a backwards summersault so he giggled because Brendan wasn't the cool customer he was letting on. His hands pushed Ste's ankles onto his shoulders and then again his dick rubbed against Ste's opening. And Ste could see. And Brendan could too. So they both watched as they made it happen. Taunting themselves, cock pushing over hole. The tip gliding over it and back. And Ste felt himself relax and Brendan's eyes widened just like Ste's hole did just slightly from wanting Brendan's dick so badly in it.

It would be so easy for Ste to slick his fingers with spit now and open himself up more while Brendan watched.

He could push his fingers deep into his hole and find that place that made him feel a kaleidoscope of emotions; all good.

It would be so easy to then guide Brendan's thick raw throbbing cock into him; to help him push it in.

Fill him up.

Raw.

No.

Ste tensed.

"_You've got chlamydia… he may have carried it from a previous relationship."_

"_He still cheated. He goes to a bar and hangs outside it."_

He pushed Brendan off. His hands pressed firmly against Brendan's stomach.

"You okay?" Brendan whispered breathlessly against his mouth.

He kissed Ste, all tongue and spit and passion and Ste let him; let Brendan do to his mouth what his dick wasn't to his arse.

"Yeah." He whispered when they parted.

"I can't get enough of you, Steven." Brendan confessed into his ear.

Brendan wasn't Caden. Ste had to learn that and believe that. He would never force Ste to do something he wasn't comfortable with.

He wouldn't lie to him.

He. Was. Not. Like. Caden.

"Roll over, Steven."

Ste didn't hesitate and when he did Brendan pushed his chest down into the rug and his arse up into the air. Two firm slaps on his butt cheeks made him yelp and then, paradoxically, stick his arse up even more.

"Show me your arsehole." Brendan said roughly.

Ste blushed.

From the beginning they had had rough play but it was accented with moments of tenderness. It was something that Ste was learning turned him on beyond belief. It was strange when he considered how Kevin's sadistic streak had done nothing for him.

Brendan's words made him feel slutty and hot all over and desired so he reached his hands back to pull his bum cheeks apart. He cocked his head round from where it rested on the rug to look at the Irishman as he knelt behind him.

"That's it." Brendan's hands caressed his back and bum, lightly. Then with just nails.

Ste was sure that his body had gone a deep crimson. He buried his face into the shag pile rug and breathed into it waiting for what Brendan had in store.

"I want you to stay like that until I say." Brendan breathed.

Ste groaned and nodded his assent. His cock jerked and he knew he was precumming. Already. God. He was a slut for Brendan.

Brendan ghosted his hand over the mounds of flesh of his bum and down the backs of his thighs.

Then he spat on Ste's hole as lube.

Ste groaned and pushed back. A swell of expletives fell from his mouth.

Brendan's hands joined Ste's and his mouth descended on him. If the sushi had filled Brendan up it didn't show. He ate Ste's arse right up; licking, tonguing, fingering biting occasionally, slapping across it until Ste was a whimpering, incoherent mess.

Desperate broken "Brendans" escaped his lips, peppering the air.

At heart Ste was a pure bottom. Nothing gave him greater pleasure than having his hole toyed with. Circumstance had made him into a passable top but this was where he thrived.

This was where he got his kicks.

Brendan fisted Ste's erect cock while rimming him and it all felt like too much. Like no human could feel such sustained pleasure without combusting so Ste gripped the hairs of the shag pile with white knuckle fists.

"I told you to keep your arse cheeks open." Brendan commanded.

Ste groaned.

"Sorry." His hands went back to his bum cheeks holding them apart.

Brendan ran a finger over his slick hole. A prelude.

Ste was so ready- born ready for Brendan cock- but demanding it would scupper any chance he would have of getting it.

Brendan was in full dominant mode and Ste was happy to submit to his will… at least for tonight.

His short rapid breaths blew the hairs of the rug like grass in the wind as he let Brendan do what he wanted with him. To him.

Brendan pulled at his aching cock while his mouth continued its assault on Ste's hole.

Three fingers. That is what Brendan worked up to. Ste could feel them stretching him out, plunging into him then out while Brendan's mouth turned its attention to Ste's balls. His fingers rubbed over Ste's prostate so that Ste's legs developed a will of their own and lifted up towards Brendan to get more. Deeper. Harder.

The slap got Ste back down onto his knees. And his hands were back on his bum cheeks, exposing his hole to Brendan.

He didn't care how he came across. How horny and turned on. He needed this like he needed oxygen.

Brendan was on him now, sort of, over one side of him. His hips thrusting against Ste's left buttock. Ste could feel Brendan's cock against him there. Brendan's chest covered Ste's back and his lips kissed Ste's shoulder. His fingers didn't stop pumping into him.

Ste reached for Brendan's cock and stroked it. As good as Brendan's fingers felt, they weren't a patch on his phallus. He craved the feeling of that first push into him. The head of Brendan's dick always felt almost too big at first as it negotiated its way into his tight hole until the initial resistance was breached and the steady tight slide continued. Until Ste felt full, complete and replete.

"Fuck me with your cock, Bren." He whimpered softly unable to stay quiet about it anymore. "Please."

Was that him that said that?

"No." Brendan whispered in reply.

Ste groaned out of frustration and tempted Brendan by pushing back against his fingers, showing him how he could milk him like he was doing to his digits.

Brendan flipped him over.

Ste was startled when cold dark fluid was poured over his body until he remembered that it was soy sauce.

It splashed over him and although most started on him- on his torso, abdomen, pelvis and groin- most quickly rolled off him and onto the beautiful clean rug.

Brendan licked the salty dip as it cascaded, concentrating on Ste's shaft and balls. He toyed with Ste's scrotum, licking it and filling his mouth with his balls like gobstoppers before sucking on them and letting them drop.

He took Ste's dick down his throat and held the Mancunian's chest down when it sprung up like a primed bow.

Brendan's shoved his fingers back into Ste and Ste got loud as fuck as both his arse and his dick got attention again.

He couldn't finish an exclamation. It was all, "Oh my G-" and "Bre-" and "Fa-" and Sh-". Amongst the half-finished words were sounds that Ste wasn't sure he had ever heard himself make.

Brendan clamped his free hand over Ste's mouth firmly.

"_Shush. Unless you want me to gag you."_

"_Please."_

"_Maybe later."_

He continued to blow Ste and fuck him with his fingers until up was down and here was there and the place was spinning and Ste couldn't hold on any longer.

He blew everywhere. His body was out of control. Brendan laughed in wonder as he watched his climax. Ste's jerked and let out hoarse muted cries through Brendan's palm.

Brendan could feel a smile under his fingers. Steven smiled when he came. It was a refreshing change to the near pained expression most men had in Brendan's experience when they ejaculated.

Ste's arse contracted and relaxed rhythmically against his fingers, reminding him of what it did to his cock. When Brendan grazed his fingers over Ste's prostate one more time as he pulled out, Ste shuddered as if zapped then peeled with laughter.

Brendan took his hand off his mouth and his mouth off Ste's cock.

"Oh wow!" Ste sighed. "Wow."

He was boneless. Like a rag doll, smiling at him lazily like Brendan imagined a cat would smile if it received the trifecta of cat pleasure all at once; sun on its back, a decent rub of its ears and good bowl of food.

Ste looked completely sated. He could not move a muscle. Not a flicker. Nor did he want to.

He told Brendan, "Thanks."

The word was barely formed; a sound pushed out with minimal effort.

He managed to lift a hand to tug at Brendan's shirt so that the man could lean over and Ste could give him a kiss as a gesture of gratitude; close mouthed and barely a touch.

That was when Brendan remembered that he still had his t-shirt on.

He sat back on his heels and whipped his t-shirt off. Threw it to one side.

His mouth was still full of Ste's spilt cum.

Spit or swallow?

Without warning or preamble he pushed Ste's arse up. His bum was off the floor and Brendan's mouth poured Ste's warm cum on his hole.

He gasped as Brendan then spread it and used his fingers to push it into his hole.

Brendan's mind was filthy.

Ste loved Brendan's mind.

Brendan studied Ste's hole, now slick with spit and cum. He pushed a finger in again. The slip and slide was unbelievable. He slapped Ste right next to his opening and his hole snapped shut in shock.

Brendan smiled and let go of him so that Ste collapsed back onto the floor; devoid of tone. His arms and legs lay uselessly by his side. His head couldn't lift off the carpet. His eyes could't open. His lungs couldn't fill with enough air to settle his breathlessness.

Brendan was breathless too and sweaty.

But he was a man on a mission. In the same way that he had had a one track mind about his food, he now had his sights on Ste.

But first he needed supplies and a re-charge. He rubbed his hand against his fallen clothes then stood up. Ste didn't move. Didn't react.

Brendan walked to the fridge, firm cock in hand and guzzled down a pint of water. Though it had seemed like a fun accessory at the time, a bottle soy sauce was too fucking salty.

He found a condom. Ste's trousers. Horny fucker. He had been prepared for this. Brendan slipped it on. Just that action reminded his cock what it was in for. It jerked in gratitude.

The lad was smiling lazily. Eyes closed. His legs were up so that the souls of his feet were flat on the rug and his knees were bent. They swayed this way and that, languidly, while he stroked up and down his chest with the tips of his fingers.

"You okay there?" Brendan asked as he stood over him, feet either side of Ste's hips.

Ste's eyes flew open. He nodded.

This would need explaining in the morning. The negative image of Ste's trunk and thighs on the white rug caused by the dark liquid that had cascaded from his sides.

Mary would not be pleased.

Whatever. Brendan would buy a new one.

"You've taken your shirt off." Ste said, voice all alluring, thickened by his post-coital state.

Brendan smiled. That was it. If Ste was going to look at him like look, all fucked out and comely, then Ste was going to get what was coming to him.

"I've slipped something on too." Brendan said then dropped to his knees.

Then he lined up his sheathed cock and pushed into Ste and felt the lubrication afforded him by the cum and spit. How they eased the path. Maybe there would be need for commercial lube in a bit but for now this was divine.

Fluid.

Ste was full of cock. Just what he had wanted. But this was different to expectations. Better. Making his soul curl up and then unwind and want to scream.

The Irishman pulled out fully. And Ste heard the snap of his hole closing and the wet tap of Brendan's dick against him; tap tap tapping only to plunge in again.

Ste lay back and closed his eyes. It was relaxing, savouring this. The hits on his prostate weren't making him go mad just yet but that was because he was still post-orgasmic. Refractory. He had just come so the sensations were muted. He couldn't come down and go up at the same time. But the fullness delighted. And Brendan lying over him, giving Ste little room to breathe… Ste loved that. He loved being covered like this, surrounded by Brendan's weight and warmth. He felt sheltered, cushioned and protected.

"Your hole is so ready for me." Brendan sighed into his ear.

He pulled at Ste's ear lobe and pushed into Ste, hard, the movement pushing Ste up the rug. Pushing a breath out of him. A gasp.

Brendan fucked Ste so that there was no way he could be any deeper. He fucked him with such power that there was no way he could fuck him any harder.

He fucked Ste with all the passion he had.

And Ste surrendered to it. He couldn't do much else. He felt wide open and available and used and well and truly fucked.

It all started up again. The latency was gone and replaced by euphoria.

He opened his eyes and opened his mouth when Brendan dipped to kiss him. He tasted his cum on his lover's tongue. That got him going even more because it reminded him that his cum and Brendan's spit were acting _in lieu_ of lube. His own cum was rubbing into his insides with every push of Brendan's cock.

He tightened against Brendan and matched his thrusts with gyrations of his own and the Irishman laughed a short hoarse laugh in appreciation.

"That's fucking hot." He murmured as he cleaned Ste's sweat on his forehead with his lips. "Keep doing that."

Ste kept his sphincter tight and he tingled all over as Brendan's dick kept finding the spot in him like it had a homing device; that spot that got him acting like a wanton hussy.

Brendan pulled out and pushed Ste onto his side. He lifted Ste's top leg and pushed his cock right back into him. He could have Ste anyway he wanted him. Ste couldn't resist. Wouldn't want to.

He pushed in deep using Ste's leg as leverage. Ste moaned against the depth of the intrusion then rocked against it; baffling Brendan. He was taking it all. Not a flinch in sight. Ste continued to milk him like that, rocking back and forth, his hand tracing over Brendan's chest to discover raised angry looking scratch marks.

He was the cause of them so he caressed them lightly, soothingly.

He reached down to grip hold of Brendan's bum so that he could push the man deeper still and he noticed early bruises there. The imprint of his fingers.

Funny how things looked one way but were actually another. It appeared that Brendan was owning him and yet Ste was the vicious one. Savage. He had maimed his lover with the power of his desire… He had wanted a night of passion and got it. He had got things his way in the end.

Like now he wanted more. Faster. If that were possible. Harder. If that were possible. Deeper. If that were possible.

Somehow it was.

Brendan went up to an eleven.

Ste felt his balls tingle again. He jerked off and his dick felt sensitive and his toes curled up because this was it…

Again.

He was this close to finding release.

So close. He fisted his cock as Brendan ploughed into him.

It was raw but exquisite when it happened. Brendan didn't pull out. He grabbed Ste's hard cock with one hand and his hip with the other and fucked the heck out of him. Rough.

And yet still paused to kiss his shoulders, neck and cheeks. Gentle.

The Irishman settled his forehead on the side of Ste's head. He blew hurried breaths over his face and whispered,

"I'm going to come, Steven."

His balls and hips slapped against Ste's buttocks firmly as he pumped into Ste a few more times before falling off the precipice. Ste pressed their mouths together. Brendan's arms answered by going around Ste like a venous fly trap. His rhythmic ejaculation and disconnected hip judders triggered Ste's own climax.

He fucked himself on Brendan's cock while they came, together.

He slipped his hand between his legs to feel where they were connected; where he was stretched around Brendan's cock. He kept his hand there so that he felt the slide of Brendan penetrating him when an errant post climax shudder hit him.

Brendan pulled out and collapsed in a heap on the rug next to Ste. He pulled Ste to him facing him and gave him a kiss.

Their eyes met. Their chests heaved. But their gaze at each other was rock steady.

It was through their harsh breaths that Ste realised that Gladys Knight was still playing in the background. Good old classic Motown.

Her dulcet tones reverberated through the room.

He loved this music and he loved how he was feeling right now and he loved how Brendan was looking at him and touching his lips and then smiling. He loved how Brendan was holding him in his arms even though he was a mess of food and soy sauce and fish and rice and cum and spit. He loved that. He loved…

"Liverpool tomorrow." Brendan said softly and raised an eyebrow.

The Irishman couldn't wait. The Kilner project was well underway and the team were going on a field trip to the site. And Brendan was planning to steal a few moments with Ste in private…

Ste burrowed in closer to him and kissed him.

"Yeah." He rubbed his nose unhurriedly against Brendan's cheek relishing in the hair there. "We'll have to go separately, right. Can't have Mel, Guy and them lot thinking summats going on."

Words had a funny habit of messing things up. Here they killed the mood. Not even Gladys could make it better.

Brendan's hands lifted off Ste.


	29. Apate

_**Hi Folks,**_

_**Probably my most obscure Chapter title so far but for lovers of Greek mythology, you'll get it in a heart beat.**_

_**Hugs, **_

_**Chips xx**_

**{~}**

"Liverpool tomorrow." Brendan said and raised an eyebrow.

The Irishman couldn't wait. The Kilner project was well underway and the team were going on a field trip to the site and Brendan was planning to steal a few moments with Ste in private…

Ste burrowed in closer to him and kissed him.

"Yeah." He rubbed his nose unhurriedly against Brendan's cheek relishing in the hair there. "We'll have to go separately, right. Can't have Mel, Guy and them lot thinking summat's going on."

Words had a funny habit of messing things up. Here they killed the mood. Not even Gladys could make it better.

Brendan's hands lifted off Ste.

He sat up, stood up and looked down at his lover. Ste pushed against the Irishman's thigh with his foot as Brendan pulled the condom off his dick. He tossed it aside as Ste dragged the sole of his foot up Brendan's leg.

The Mancunian stretched out languorously from head to toe; muscles lengthening and joints extending. Shamelessly displaying himself; a body thoroughly used and sated by Brendan's touch.

He purred, "Where are you going?"

It took a moment before Brendan replied. Steven looked so centred, so peaceful, calm, boneless and relaxed with that lazy grin on his face.

There had been no malice intended with his words. And yet…

"Going up." Brendan said abruptly and pulled away from Ste's touch so that the lad's leg fell back to the floor tonelessly. "Shower then bed. Long day tomorrow."

Ste reached a heavy hand out to him and softly ordered, "Well help me up then."

Brendan didn't. He walked up to the black leather couch- the one that was far less used than its white equivalent ever since a blue-eyed escort put his imprint on the white one and embedded it as Brendan's favourite- and picked up a shopping bag on it.

"Here." He said as he held the bag over Ste's naked body.

"What's that?"

"A present." Brendan said. He chastised himself for the moment of apprehension that he felt because Steven's MO had, so far, involved constantly rejecting Brendan's favours.

Ste's acceptance of the bag came with a smile. He sat up, cross-legged, and carefully put the bag down on a bit of clean carpet.

As he looked into it Brendan gruffly said to him,

"It's stuff." He cleared his throat. "For you. For tomorrow."

Ste picked up a shirt costly enough to be able to afford him at least five of his regular ones.

He did not pick up on the shift in Brendan's mood.

He was riding high on positive emotions.

Brendan turned to head for the stairs.

{~}

Ste stirred in the morning. While still half asleep, he reached for Brendan.

The older man was already awake. In fact, he was clutching his mobile and looking pensive.

Ste rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Morning." He whispered and placed a kiss on Brendan's lips.

"Did I wake you up?" Brendan asked.

Ste smiled. "No. Don't think so. Who were you calling?"

"Work." Brendan said quickly then put his phone on his bedside table.

Ste kissed his chest. "Bit early, innit?"

Brendan was warmed by slumber and his body was welcoming so Ste pushed up against him and wrapped an arm and leg around him while Brendan lay on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"Work never ends." Brendan murmured as he kissed the top of Ste's head.

The words transmitted as rumbled vibrations against Ste's cheek as he rested his head on Brendan's torso. He listened to the tap of the Irishman's heart and felt the rise and fall of his breathing.

He squeezed Brendan hard.

They had navigated through their first night in together as a 'normal couple' and came out the other end.

Even though the night hadn't been typical of an average date night the basic elements were there; the conversation, the flirting, the food and the sex.

It had been perfect.

"Last night was my first proper date night ever." He whispered.

It wasn't a lie.

The 'date' Caden had taken him on at the beginning of their 'non-relationship' had ended with running out of a restaurant without paying and Ste losing his 'gay virginity' in a cold back alley.

The two experiences were miles apart.

He nestled into Brendan.

He wanted to tell him something. Something big. Something about how Brendan made him feel but, just like at the retreat, Ste couldn't get the words out.

He had a mental block created by how the words had been previously received.

"I am so happy." He whispered by way of compromise.

Brendan's answer came in the form of an inscrutable look.

"Are you? Really?"

There was something in Brendan's voice that made Ste search his eyes.

Why would Brendan doubt that?

"Yes. 'Course I am. Really." Ste kissed Brendan's jawline then the corner of his mouth. He nodded and smiled and whispered against the Irishman's mouth. "Really. Really. I'll show you how much."

He journeyed down Brendan's body, under the bed covers, over the man's hairy chest and lower, rubbing their bodies together as he kissed his way down south.

Brendan groaned as Ste's outline writhed under the thousand count Egyptian cotton; hands feeling, tongue teasing and lips sketching on him.

Ste gripped his dick. His voice was muffled when he said,

"Your cock makes me happy too."

Brendan smirked. He had learned early on how direct and verbal Ste got when he was horny.

Brendan could live with that.

Ste's mouth was on him, getting him hard. He lubed Brendan's cock with spit and deep-throated it. The wet sounds generated by the sucking and Brendan's quiet gasps and groans of pleasure cut through the otherwise silent apartment.

Steven panted as he came up for air momentarily only to get back to task a second later. He created an impossibly tight seal as he glided his mouth down Brendan's phallus over and over again.

Brendan watched the way Ste surged and fell under the sheets. He threw his head back and let the sensations take over.

When he was overwhelmed he pushed Ste down on him, until the lad's nostrils blew a breeze over the hair on Brendan's groin. It was so tight. So warm. So right. He kept Ste down until he felt the lad's throat tighten around him and Brendan thought he might cum right down his throat.

He would have actually shot one out had it not been for the lad gagging. He released the pressure on the back of Ste's head and Ste came up for air.

He threw the covers back and grinned at Brendan while fisting the man's cock and wiping his mouth of excess saliva with his other hand.

"You nearly choked me!"

Brendan gently pushed Ste onto his back and pinned his wrists to the bed. The bigger man kicked the bedcovers completely off then parted Ste's knees so that he could settle between them.

He leaned down to kiss the lad, nice and slow. Ste smiled against the insistence of Brendan's mouth on his. Ste indulged himself. His legs circled Brendan's waist, heels planting themselves on his butt to push the older man in closer.

He pulled away just enough to whisper, "Shouldn't we be getting ready for Liverpool?"

"We have ten minutes to spare."

Ste laughed. "Ten minutes! Brendan!"

"Fine. Fifteen." Brendan smiled for the first time since getting up. "It's called being efficient, Steven." Kiss. "Working to a deadline." Kiss. "Can you do that?"

Ste released one of his hands to grasp Brendan's cock. He stroked it went in for a deep passionate kiss.

"What are you waiting for then? Fuck me." Ste groaned. "Hard."

Brendan's eyes darkened with intent. "Careful what you wish for."

Brendan kissed Ste hard, bruising his lips. He settled back on his heels, grabbed lube and poured. It landed on his dick and, from it, some trickled onto Ste thigh.

He used the spilt lube to coat Ste's cock while the lad returned the favour. A jerk off. Watching the lad holding his cock in both his hands, warm and gliding, was a turn on. Those hands of his worked together on Brendan satisfying, enticing, seducing and pleasuring but there was no time for foreplay.

Brendan reached for a condom packet, ripped into it and took out the sheath out. Ste grabbed it off him and smoothly slid it onto Brendan cock then lubed it up.

Fifteen minutes?

No problem.

Ste held Brendan's cock in his hand at its base. Soon he would take it all. Deep in him. Knowing that made him go crazy with need.

Brendan took the bottle of lube from him. He pushed Ste's legs up leisurely as if they had all the time in the world when they didn't.

Fuck the self imposed fifteen minutes. Brendan wanted to savour this like one might enjoy a good wine. Quality had to be appreciated and never compromised.

He watched as Ste pushed his feet behind his own head so that his ankles settled behind his neck. A human pretzel.

That was a new trick. It made Brendan wonder what else the lad could do. He bookmarked that thought.

Their eyes connected. Steven's were fiery. Brendan ran his hands over his legs, from the souls of the lad's feet to his bum in a long slow 'hardly there' caress.

They ended up resting either side of Ste's hole which was presented to Brendan; pink, puckered and perfect. It twitched under his gaze. Ste rubbed lubed fingers over it then made a grab for Brendan's dick.

"Are you trying to speed me up?" Brendan growled.

Ste groaned impatiently so Brendan engulfed him, kissed him and smeared more lube over his opening. The lad was bound to feel a little sore at first after how hard they had gone at it the night before so the key was keeping it slick and slow.

Brendan was gentle with his first push in to breach Ste's tight ring. The pressure was heavenly but he paused when Ste winced.

"Relax." Brendan whispered and kissed him softly. "You know it'll feel good."

Ste kissed him back.

He settled into Brendan's arms and made a sound that may have been a 'yes'. He gripped Brendan's hips and released a moan that stirred Brendan's senses but the Irishman didn't move, wouldn't move until Ste gave him the go ahead.

Thank goodness he didn't need to wait long.

He felt the lad relax under him. Both gravity and Steven's hands helped in pushing Brendan in further into him.

"Yes." Ste whimpered. "Oh my-"

Brendan looked at Steven's rigid dick. It gave veracity to the lad's words.

Ste was hungry for him.

Brendan gripped his shoulders and used them as counter traction, pushing in deeper and deeper, seeing Ste struggle to keep his eyes open, and yet trying to, when Brendan started to fuck him.

Ste's eyes rolled back in his head.

Brendan caught sight of the sharp edges of his canines when his mouth opened to expel sighs of heated passion. He briefly dipped down to moisten the lad's lips with his tongue. His hips didn't stop moving for even a second. Ste's cock bounced and clear sticky precum flowed from its tip. His balls rose up towards his body, heavy with seed. They jiggled with every slap of Brendan against him.

Brendan's cock disappeared into his tight head; going in deep and causing him to lose his senses. Then it would just tease his entrance with the head of his cock until Ste writhed with need.

Brendan lay on him and moved Ste's feet onto his shoulders.

Ste's moans grew louder as his hip rotations got wilder, _staccato_ and more purposeful.

The Irishman gripped Ste's hair hard and pulled so that he could run his tongue hungrily over the fast beat of the lad's carotid and then his chest. Ste dragged his fingers over Brendan's scalp but his touch was gentler, tamed into submission and quiescence by Brendan's cock in him. He combed through the hair to cajole; to guide Brendan back to his lips, to echo with their tongues what their groins were doing; colliding, gliding, penetrating, receiving, moving together as one so that they were indistinguishable entities.

Ste wanted to ride him. He wanted to set the pace that would make Brendan cum.

"I want to be on top."

So Brendan pulled out.

Ste quickly moved them into position. He climbed on top of Brendan. Their eyes locked as he guided Brendan's cock back to his hole. They felt opposite ends of the same experience as he slowly lowered himself down on it.

It was arguable who was doing the fucking now that Ste had control. He bit hard on his lower lip as he felt the brush of cock on prostate. It was enough for him to scream so loudly that Doug might have heard him from the other side of town.

He rubbed his fingers over his perineum as he rose and fell on Brendan's dick. Every muscle of his was tense from desire and exertion. Brendan's hand glided over him and Ste rocked over him.

"Fuck, Steven." Brendan said. "Fuck."

Ste settled balls deep on Brendan and soaked in the feeling of being completely impaled by him. He closed his eyes and gyrated his hips, like a lap dancer. The movement accentuated the fullness he felt; the completeness and connectedness.

His head flung back as Brendan touched him. He moaned in delight.

"You are so beautiful." Brendan whispered.

Ste opened his eyes and looked down at Brendan.

Brendan was mad or something, Ste thought, because he wasn't beautiful. He wasn't being modest. He just knew he wasn't. He had been told the contrary many a time in the past. He was told that he was too skinny, his features too 'pointy', his looks too unconventional, his lashes too long- 'like a girl'.

And Caden had been right.

But there was something about how Brendan was looking at him that made Ste not protest his statement.

Instead he smiled.

His own cock was pointing skywards, twitching; moments away from erupting.

Brendan sat up to embrace him keeping Ste fully seated on him. Ste embraced him back. He rocked against Brendan faster and they kissed messily, dirtily and sloppily.

Brendan came. Then Ste did within seconds.

It wasn't the first time he had cum 'hands free' with Brendan. He didn't know how Brendan managed to make him do that but it was the most intense feeling- for a few seconds every pleasurable sensation centred on that sensitive point located in him.

They shared their orgasms with their bodies connected, kissing.

They came down slowly; like living statues breathing heavily together, wrapped in each other.

The fondling grew lazy and the kissing even lazier.

Ste whispered,

"How long was that?"

"What?" Brendan said breathlessly, dazed.

His arms were still full of Steven and Steven was still full of his cock.

"Under fifteen minutes?"

Brendan laughed and looked at the bedside clock.

"Twenty-six minutes." He pecked the lad.

"We went over." Ste pouted.

"Jesus! You're complaining?" Brendan smiled in disbelief.

Was Steven that competitive and target driven?

"I don't like it when I don't stick to my goals."

Fucking hell.

"Over achiever." Brendan whispered but he was beaming… on the inside.

This young man was a find. So like him in some ways, yet polar opposite in others.

Brendan kissed him and got a guttural groan in response.

Ste murmured. "I'm not complaining, right. That were fun but now we're running late…"

He gave Brendan a quick kiss then climbed off him. He slowly slid the condom off the man's cock and landed it in the bin.

Brendan smiled as he fast-forwarded to the next time he would meet Mary. He knew that he would be in for a grilling over who he was 'entertaining' in his bed.

Surprise! It's Caden/Steven.

She'll be over the moon.

"I'll be late meeting Guy." Ste said as he started to crawl out of the bed.

Brendan grabbed him by the waist and pushed him back onto the sheets.

Ste landed on his front and giggled when Brendan blew raspberries on his round butt cheeks.

"Gerroff me! Brendan! I need a shower!"

Brendan gave his arse a sound slap that echoed through the room.

"Ouch!" The lad said as he rubbed his bum and turned over to catch Brendan standing up and grabbing a bath towel.

"I'm showering first, Steven. Unless you go next door." Brendan's smile was sly. "You just lie there looking sexy otherwise."

Ste fell back into the bed and pressed a hand on his stomach. "We can shower together. It will be quicker… and energy efficient."

"It will take longer." Brendan said.

There was no way they would stop at cleaning each other. Their reunion was still too fresh. They were at the beginning of the 'I want to jump your bones 24/7' phase of their relationship.

"Yeah. You're right." Ste's smile said it all.

"We can get breakfast on the way to the station to make up time." Brendan suggested.

He was driving up to Liverpool. Ste, on the other hand, was going up by train with Guy, something Ste dropped on him just before they fell asleep the night before.

"What to do you mean 'we'?"

"I'll drop you off at the station." Brendan said.

Ste stood up. "No, you can't, Brendan."

"Why not?"

"What if Guy sees you? How are we going to explain that? He'll figure things out."

"He won't."

"You don't understand. It's like he's got sixth sense or summat. He totally figured Paul out."

Brendan frowned. "What about Paul?"

Ste paused. He couldn't lie to Brendan outright but he didn't want to betray his friend's confidence either so he said, "Nothing important. Look basically it's better if I take a taxi. Don't you think?"

Brendan was quiet for a moment.

"Don't you think, Brendan?" Ste repeated and took his hand

"I'm grabbing a shower." Brendan said and pushed his hand away before heading for the bathroom. "Do what you want."

{~}

The train was pulling into Liverpool Lime Street station but Ste hadn't noticed.

He was preoccupied.

Brendan had turned from playful and seductive to acting a bit funny when they parted ways this morning.

"_So I'll see you at the other end." _Ste had said to him near the front door. He teasingly added,_ "Mr. Brady, Boss."_

He reached up for a goodbye kiss but Brendan evaded it and said,_ "May as well start as you mean to go on today."_

"Mate. We're here." Guy said, clicking his fingers in front of Ste's face. "We've got to get off before the train sets off again."

"Sorry. Coming." Ste picked up his rucksack and followed him out of the train.

As they headed for the taxi rank Guy said,

"What's with the frown?"

"Nothing."

"Is it because you'll have to face Simon again since your break up?"

"What? No!"

It would have been but Ste was sure that Simon wouldn't turn up today; not after Brendan's warnings to stay away from Ste.

"I get it if that's it. It can be awkward coming face to face with an ex."

"It's not that. I'm worried about work." Ste lied as he thought about Brendan and what his problem was.

"When you say 'work' you mean Mr Brady."

Ste acted as if he didn't recognise the name. "Who?"

An overkill reaction in response to feeling like their relationship might be exposed at any second.

"You're funny." Guy said. "Ste, he likes our work. More to the point, he _loves_ you."

Ste started to panic. "No he doesn't."

_I love you, Steven._

"Does too. He handpicked you for the rebranding."

Oh. That's what Guy meant.

Ste smiled. "He did, didn't he?"

It felt good to know that Brendan enjoyed his body _and_ respected his mind.

"Look at you! All blushing!"

"I'm not!"

"Ey, can you believe he is single?" Guy said.

"Who?"

"Mr Brady. Keep up, Ste."

Ste was careful with how to reply. "How do you mean?"

"Here you've got a rich, smart guy with good looks and from what I can see a nice body. We'll gloss over the personality. He needs work on that. The point is he is an eligible bachelor. So why hasn't someone snapped him up?"

Guy smiled so Ste smiled.

Of course they were smiling for different reasons.

Ste said, "I dunno. He's our boss. I try not to think about him like that."

"Well I do and Mel has a theory." Guy said. "Do you want to hear it?"

"Do I have a choice?" Ste replied.

"No!" Guy leaned in conspiratorially. "She reckons that it's because Mr Brady is mending a broken heart."

Ste's heart slowed then sped up in his chest until it was a rapid thud. Of all the things Guy could have said, Ste had not expected that.

"Why does she say that?"

Guy said, "There was a guy that he dated and lived with for _years_ apparently. Mel never got to know him but she used to see Mr Brady and him together out and about in Chester."

Ste's brain went into overdrive. "Are you sure?"

He recalled the day that Brendan's sister had turned up to her brother's apartment unexpectedly and he had overheard them talking.

'_What do you want me to say? That I'm falling to pieces? I'm not, Chez.'_

'_It's okay if you are, you know. It's understandable. We are all going through it. I miss Vinnie too.'_

Guy's stomach grumbled. "I know we just had breakfast but I could murder a _pain au chocolat_ right now."

"Did you say they lived together?" Ste asked, lump in throat, ignoring his friend's hunger.

"Yeah." Guy said. "Why?"

So Brendan _had_ been in a serious relationship.

Ste wasn't upset about that. They had both lived lives. It stood to reason that Brendan had shared his life with someone else at some point in his past.

Ste was upset because he had _lied_ about it.

He had lied to Doug under direct questioning. He had _lied_ to Ste.

'_I don't do boyfriends'._

He had lied by giving Ste the impression that he had never felt as deeply for anyone else before.

He had said that he prided himself on being truthful.

How ironic.

How deceitful.

"Did Mel tell you when they split up?" Ste asked.

"She's not sure but she reckons it was in the last few months. You seem interested all of a sudden." Guy said and raised an eyebrow.

"I like a bit of office gossip."

"Unless it has to do with you. Am I right?" Guy laughed as his stomach grumbled again. "Do you reckon there will be a bakery near where we are going or should I grab something here before we go?"

Ste didn't know and he didn't care.

"By the way, that outfit is banging." Guy said. He scrutinised Ste closely. "I meant to say earlier."

"Thanks." Ste said feeling numb and hollow.

"Where did you get the trousers?" Guy asked as they joined the queue for the taxis.

Ste searched for a plausible answer. "Oh. Um. A shop in town."

Guy grinned. "Yeah. That's definitely not Primark."

Ste agreed. "No."

"It doesn't even look high street. More like Bond Street."

Ste felt like Guy was using his third eye.

"Mr Brady must be paying you well." Guy commented. Before Ste could answer Guy said, "Ey look! It's Priya and Matt."

Two of their work colleagues were heading out of the station and towards them. They must have been on the same train from Chester to Liverpool.

Guy waved to get their attention. "This is brilliant. We can share a ride to the docks and split the bill."

{~}

At the former Kilner shipping site construction of the main building of Brendan's project was almost complete. Despite rain putting a halt to proceedings for a few days Brendan was very pleased with progress.

Melanie updated him and Paul as they walked through the site in hard hats, weaving through builders who were hard at work.

They walked out of the building and towards a temporary cabin that would house the project meeting in a few minutes.

Melanie said,

"The team will join us soon. They're having a look at the work by the waterfront. I thought it was a good idea to get them down to Liverpool to get a proper feel of how the place is going to look and get an idea of scale."

"It's huge." Paul said looking back at the building.

Melanie smiled. "It will officially become one of the biggest of its kind in Europe. It will be the biggest in the UK."

"Nice." The PA said.

"Yeah. So the team will present you their latest work, Brendan. Once today is done we should be able to finalise our marketing campaign."

"It needs to go live next month, Mel. We need to generate buzz well before the official opening." Brendan said.

"That won't be a problem." Mel said. "That was the time frame we were working towards. It's looking good, don't you think?"

"Yes." Paul said.

"What do you reckon, Brendan?" Melanie asked clearly hoping for positive feedback.

"That you are a miracle worker." Brendan said simply. "Always knew I did right hiring you."

"Aw, Brendan! That is the nicest thing you have ever said to me!" Melanie said in surprise.

Paul smiled. "He's a changed man … He has stuff to smile about now…"

He gave his boss a cheeky look.

Brendan gave him a sharp look.

Paul smiled even more.

"Well then this might make you smile as well." Melanie said. "I invited a special guest to come along since without him none of this would have happened."

Brendan's heart sank as Melanie smiled at him and they reached the _PortaKabin_.

If Walker was here Brendan was going to beat him to a pulp.

"It isn't Simon, is it?" Paul said nervously.

While he didn't know the ins and outs of the bust up he knew that there was no love lost between the Irishman and the Brummie.

Melanie smiled as she let them walk into the meeting room first.

The man, who had been sitting and waiting for them, stood up.

"Surprise, Brendan."

{~}

The whole project was so much bigger than Ste had imagined.

As he was shown through the whole construction site with the other people tasked to work on the Kilner project he suddenly appreciated how important his role was in it. He was part of a team who had to sell the idea of this venture to a mass audience of consumers. He had to make them believe that they wanted to use this product.

If they got their job wrong and failed to attract punters then Brendan's investment would go up in smoke.

It felt like an awesome bit of responsibility to have.

"Are you sure you don't want to do the presentation?" Guy asked him and swallowed nervously as they were ushered towards a cabin on the site that was to be the location of their meeting.

"Positive." Ste said as they walked in with their fellow fifteen team members. "I told you. I've got my presentation for the rebrand tomorrow. I couldn't prepare for both. And anyway, this gives you a chance to shine."

"I'm bricking it, mate."

"You'll nail it." Ste said reassuringly. "You're good at presenting."

They took their seats around a large table.

Guy gave him a small smile. "Ethan has heard it like a thousand times."

Ste looked up and straight away his eyes connected with Brendan's.

His smile was instinctive even after Guy's revelation. There was just something about Brendan that made him feel _okay_.

None the less, they needed to talk. About Brendan's freeze in the morning. About why he deliberately kept a significant past relationship from Ste. And Ste had to be honest with Brendan about the police investigation into the malicious mail.

It was only fair.

He noticed that Brendan was looking very uncomfortable standing near Melanie and Paul…

And a third person.

_He_ was unexpected, standing as he was to Brendan's right.

He filled Ste with instant dread.

{~}

"Surprise, Brendan."

Melanie was beaming as she looked between the two men.

"Edward." Brendan said as the old man approached him with a smile on his face and arms extended ready for embrace. "What are you doing here?"

They hugged it out.

"How many times. Ted or Teddy. My mother called me Edward when I was in trouble." Ted said with a smile. "Melanie here called me to say you were coming up for the day and invited me to come along and have a look at site since she knows how well you and I get along."

Melanie smiled. "Brendan speaks so fondly of you, Ted."

_Shit. Shit. SHIT_. Brendan thought.

_I'm in trouble._

Steven was going to be here any minute so Brendan had to make sure that Kilner left otherwise the old man's presence would blow the lid wide open on a series of lies and deceit.

No one among those attending, except Paul, knew that Brendan and Steven were seeing each other.

Kilner knew Steven as "Caden" and Kilner thought Brendan was dating "Caden". He did not know that "Caden" was actually Steven and that Steven now both worked for and was secretly seeing Brendan.

**SHIT.**

Brendan felt bad that he had lied to the Liverpudlian to acquire the shipping property. What had seemed like a white lie at the time had the potential to explode in his face now. A man with such a strong moral compass, like Kilner, wouldn't forgive or forget easily even though Brendan was in an actual relationship with Steven now.

Albeit, a secret one.

Not a normal one. Not one Steven wanted to come out and announce anyway. One that he seems quite happy to continue undercover.

"I like what you've done with the space. Very slick I must say." The older man said.

"Thank you." Brendan said. "You know it's always a pleasure seeing you, Ted. I have a thought. I've got an administrative meeting in a few short minutes." Brendan tried to convey how much of a snore fest it was going to be by faking a yawn and rolling his eyes. "It's a number crunching exercise. Not worth you sitting in on. Once I'm done we could meet up for a coffee and catch up. I'll be thirty minutes."

"More like forty." Melanie interjected.

"Forty then." Brendan said. "Paul can keep you company until I'm done."

"No need. I'll take a walk while I wait. Keeps me fit." Ted said with a grin. "I'll come back in just under an hour."

Just then the door opened and fifteen loud _Clover Corp_ employees streamed into the room.

Brendan saw Steven straight away. He was with that friend of his engrossed in a conversation as they took seats.

"I've got my presentation for the rebrand tomorrow. I couldn't prepare for both. And anyway, this gives you a chance to shine."

"I'm bricking it, mate." Guy said.

"You'll nail it. You're good at presenting."

They took their seats around a large table near the door to the prefabricated cabin.

Guy said. "Ethan has heard it like a thousand times."

Brendan hoped that Ted wouldn't spot Ste but that was wishful thinking. The group was too small, the room too modest in size and Ted Kilner's eye sight too good to miss Ste.

As Ste's eyes connected with Ted's, the old man's brows furrowed in confusion.

Then he smiled.

Ste looked down uncomfortably; ears burning up.

Brendan spoke quickly when he saw Ted's mouth open assuming Kilner would address Steven.

"Morning everyone. Let's cut to the chase. This gentleman to my right is Ted Kilner. He sold this plot of land to _Clover Corp _and has become a dear friend."

There was a ripple of good mornings and Ted bowed his head in acknowledgement never once taking his eyes off Ste.

"He won't be staying for the meeting but I think he has been reassured by his visit today that his old property has been well looked after."

"It has." Ted nodded. "Well done everyone on your work."

Both Brendan and Steven sighed with relief as Brendan walked the older man to the door.

As they passed Ste, Ted tapped a hand on his shoulder, making the lad jump in his seat.

_Don't say anything_, Ste pleaded silently as he turned to face Ted. He completely avoided eye contact with Brendan who was standing right next to the man.

"How are you doing, young man?"

Ste swallowed against a dry mouth and throat. "Yeah. Good. You?"

Ted smiled and raised an eyebrow. "I'm realising that life throws unexpected surprises at unexpected times."

Guy and the rest of Ste's work colleagues looked at the exchange in wonder. Even Paul and Mel looked.

Ste tried to not look guilty.

Ted's face softened into a smile. "It's good seeing you again."

He winked at Ste and gave his shoulder a squeeze then he shook Brendan's hand. "I'm looking forward to our chat, Brendan. It looks like we've got a lot to talk about."

Then he was gone.


	30. Marco Pierre White

**_Dear all,_**

**_Thought I'd give you a heads up..._**

**_It is becoming increasingly apparent that I am struggling to find the time to write fanfic. When I have the chance I relish every single moment and I love getting your feedback and comments, of course, but I can't commit to it the way I was once able to._**

**_There have been some major changes to my life this past year that I am very happy about (work/partner and stuff...) and I guess I have subconsciously reprioritised aspects of my life. _**

**_I guess what I am trying to say is that I will definitely see an end to all the Stendan fics that I have started but I will take a hiatus after that until a time where I can give writing some more time._**

**_Thank you all for your continued messages and comments. Literally love them._**

**_Peace,_**

**_chips _**

**_{~}_**

"How are you doing, young man?"

Ste swallowed against a dry mouth and throat. "Yeah. Good. You?"

Ted raised an eyebrow. "I'm realising that life throws unexpected surprises at unexpected times."

Guy and the rest of Ste's work colleagues looked at the exchange in wonder. Paul and Mel looked curious.

Ste tried to not look guilty.

Ted's face softened into a smile. "It's good seeing you again."

He winked at Ste and gave his shoulder a squeeze then he shook Brendan's hand. "I'm looking forward to our chat, Brendan. It looks like we've got a lot to talk about."

Then he was gone.

Brendan felt the tension leave his body as he closed the door behind the older man. Steven physically relaxed too.

That had been too fucking close. Ted's surprise presence highlighted how quickly and easily their affair could be exposed.

Ste and Brendan's eyes met for a split second before Brendan made his way back to his seat.

He looked at his watch and told Melanie, "We're running late."

It was meant to be as accusatory as it sounded.

He was annoyed with her because now he would have to come up with an excuse to feed Ted for 'Caden' being amongst his employees.

"Yes. Sorry." Mel said. "Let's get started. I thought Priya and Guy could give you their reports on the first phase of marketing and public feedback now. Then we could take a break for lunch before reconvening in the afternoon."

Brendan nodded. Whatever. He sat back in his seat and made himself as comfortable as he could given the passion inflicted injuries that Ste had given him.

The lights dimmed and the young Asian market analyst walked to the projector.

Priya was nervous at first, stuttering and tripping over her words, withering under the CEO's cold critical stare.

Brendan's pen twirled between his fingers like it might take flight any second. Ste knew that it was a sign of impatience and boredom. When Brendan was interested or engaged, on the other hand he would place the tip of his fountain pen in his mouth; holding it between his teeth and fingers.

Brendan finally adopted that position during Priya's presentation about the success of the Kilner Project's guerrilla campaign.

Ste was annoyed at Brendan for not exuding overt signs of encouragement towards his employees. That was why the Irishman had a reputation for being icy, aloof and distant.

Few people at work saw the jokey, light and playful side of Brendan.

None saw his vulnerable side.

But Ste had.

Brendan turned to look at him in the dimmed room while everyone else's eyes were directed at the presentation.

"What was all that about?" Guy whispered into Ste's ear. "With Edward Kilner."

Ste turned to his friend. "What was 'what' all about?"

"How come he knows you?"

Ste gave Guy his best 'how should I know?' face.

"Where did you meet him?" Guy whispered.

Ste swallowed against a dry throat and sounded, "Shush," then pretended to concentrate on what Priya was saying.

Guy rolled his eyes and scribbled something on a piece of paper.

_Where?_

Ste wrote just under Guy's writing.

_At an art exhibition where he was a patron a few months ago. His charity helped sell Doug's paintings._

Guy raised an eyebrow.

_He seems nice and I think he likes you. _

Ste shrugged.

Guy looked at him then smiled.

_Maybe he fancies you._

Ste smirked.

_He's happily married… to a woman. I think._

Guy raised an eyebrow.

_That doesn't mean anything. Some people are still in the closet and have secret relationships *cough* Paul._

Ste's smile dropped. His pen hovered over the paper before he finally wrote,

_We should be listening to Priya._

He showed Guy the message, scrunched the paper up and put his pen down.

{~}

Brendan took the tip of his pen out of his mouth as Guy walked back to his seat having completed his report.

"Good." He said simply with a nod.

"So as you can see the second phase of our marketing campaign is ready to launch in a couple of weeks in anticipation of the grand opening." Melanie said. "Liverpool won't know what hit it! Were there any things you wanted changed?"

"No." Brendan stood up. "I'll see you all this afternoon."

He made his way out of the room without so much as look in Ste's direction.

Once the door closed behind him Melanie looked at her team with pride.

"Well done team."

"Are you sure?" Priya said. "I think Mr Brady thinks I suck."

"Trust me. Brendan's very impressed. He would have torn into you if he hadn't liked what he heard."

"A smile from him wouldn't hurt though." Guy said wryly.

"But then he wouldn't be Broody Brady." A team member muttered.

Several members of the team giggled at the CEO's longstanding nickname.

Ste didn't. That was _his man_ they were laughing about. _His man_. He considered the title hesitantly, with caution, because he didn't want to get carried away with it.

He didn't want to jinx things.

Paul walked up to him and Guy.

"So where are we going for dinner, lads?" He asked.

"I spotted a deli down the road on the way here." Guy suggested.

"Yeah. Okay." Paul said.

Ste was distracted from his reply by a text.

It was Brendan.

With the way the CEO had just blanked him, the Mancunian figured Brendan was still in a mood with him and wouldn't want to speak to him now.

Brendan-

_See how well I can act like I'm just your boss?_

Ste reflected on how shit it had felt to be treated like everyone else by Brendan. How ironic. How he had changed his attitude over the course of a few weeks.

Ste-

_You were really convincing. _

Too convincing. Like it had come too easily to the Irishman, Ste thought.

"Oi. Ste. Deli?" Guy said.

Brendan-

_I had something to remind me otherwise. _

Ste-

_Ted? I know. That was a close shave._

Brendan-

_I'm not talking about Ted. I'm talking about the bruises and scratch marks you gave me last night on my back and arse. Can't sit right..._

Ste was mortified. Had he really been that rough with Brendan?

Oops.

He smiled.

Ste-

_Sorry _

He wasn't really. He wouldn't have changed a single moment they had shared.

Brendan-

_No you're not. You loved every minute. Can't say I minded either._

"What are you smiling about?" Guy asked, trying to peek at Ste's phone.

"Doug." Ste lied. "Being dirty."

Brendan was being … Brendan. A bit playful. A bit crude. A bit sweet. Did that mean they were back on track after their morning hick up?

Ste-

_Kinky_

Brendan-

_Takes one to know one._

"Tell him to stop texting because I'm starving and I'm going to pass out if we don't eat soon." Guy said.

"Uh huh." Ste muttered distractedly while he read Brendan's next text.

Brendan-

_Just spotted Ted. I've got to go._

Ste-

_What's he doing here anyway?_

Brendan-

_Melanie thought it would be a good idea to invite him along._

Ste-

_What are you going to tell him?_

Brendan-

_Fuck if I know. _

Ste-

_I feel shit that we lied to him. I like Ted. Tell him sorry._

Brendan-

_You have nothing to apologise for. This is all on me. I'll tell you how it goes._

Ste-

_Okay. Talk to you later xx_

Brendan-

_I'll SEE you later, Steven._

"Can we make a move now please? Before our dinner break is over?" Guy asked.

Paul laughed.

Ste's grin was well and truly back.

{~}

Brendan put his phone away and realised that he had the world's biggest grin on his face. Fucking Steven being cute and coy and shit. It was impossible to stay upset with him.

The thing was that Brendan did understood the lad's stance towards keeping their relationship secret. He even shared it to an extent.

There was a reason why Steven was keeping his secrets. He was worried about how Brendan would react to the malicious mail. He was worried about how his friends and colleagues would react to the 'I'm fucking the boss' news.

Rightly so. Ste had lived a hard 21 years on this Earth. He knew all about how nasty human beings could get. How vicious people could be.

He knew it better than Brendan. Or did he?

_Men can't love other men. It's not normal._

Brendan's smile dropped like a lead balloon. Where had that voice from the past come from?

Ted reached him.

"Meeting done?"

"Until two."

"Good. I'm taking you to lunch in town. Car is over here."

Brendan didn't feel he could say no.

They walked to Ted's parked limousine. His chauffeur scrambled out of the driver's seat to open doors for them.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I wasn't expecting you. Melanie didn't tell me you were coming." Brendan said as they drove out of the site.

Ted raised an eyebrow. "That much was clear. Neither you nor Caden seemed happy to see me."

"I am always happy to see you, Ted."

"Don't lie, Brendan. Not about yet another thing."

Ted was baring his teeth. This was not going to be a pleasant lunch.

"I can explain." Brendan said.

But he was struggling to come up with an excuse on the spot.

"Not yet." Ted asked. "I find receiving big news easier to palate when accompanied by food."

Brendan spotted Ste walking on the side of the main road near the Kilner property. He watched as the young man and a few of his co-workers entered a rather run down looking deli.

Ted observed the Irishman rubber-necking the lad as they drove past.

{~}

They drove through Liverpool's centre and stopped outside Hotel Indigo.

Brendan internally groaned at the irony of their lunch destination.

They walked into Marco Pierre White's Steakhouse located within the hotel where the maître d' welcomed them both like long lost friends.

They were quick to place their orders once they were shown to their seats. Their wine came almost immediately.

Ted seemed in no hurry to discuss the metaphorical elephant in the room but the tension was killing Brendan.

Ted took his time swirling the golden liquid in his glass, sniffing its aromas and then finally taking a sip.

"This _Viognier_ is second to none." Ted said.

"Their _Malbec_ is not bad either." Brendan replied as he recalled his last visit to the restaurant.

'_I'll have the T-bone with a béarnaise sauce. Tomato salad on the side and he'll have a surf and turf. Ribeye/ king prawn. Both steaks medium-rare.' _Brendan looked at Steven._ 'Any side? Sauce? Something stronger to drink?_

'_Chips. Peppercorn.' _Ste grinned._ 'And a glass of Malbec.'_

"So you come here often." Ted said.

"I used to come everytime I was in Liverpool but I hadn't been in a while until…" Brendan cleared his throat, took a deep breath then bit the bullet, "… until I brought Steven here on our first meal out."

There.

He said it.

_Steven_ not Caden.

He readied himself for Ted's inquisition.

"Who's Steven?" Ted said.

Brendan swallowed hard. "My… boyfriend."

The word stuck in his throat. It was not a term that he had ever used before to define any man in his life. It felt unfamiliar leaving his lips. His vocal apparatus was unaccustomed to it after years of conditioning himself never to think of himself in those terms.

A boyfriend for fucks sake.

Ted put his wine glass down. "I hate to correct you, Brendan, but your boyfriend's name is Caden."

"His real name is Steven."

Ted frowned in confusion leaving Brendan feeling like a dick for playing a septuagenarian to promote financial gain.

He couldn't lie to Ted anymore.

"Caden is a fake name. Steven used it out of necessity."

Realisation dawned on Ted's face.

"Oh, I see."

"You do?"

"Yes." Ted sat back in his chair.

"I don't think you do." Brendan insisted.

"You don't want to expose how you met Caden to avoid scandal."

Brendan swallowed hard.

Ted had somehow figured it out.

This was bad.

Brendan was initially more concerned about the respect the old man must have lost for him than what Ted was going to do with the information.

He tried to explain the unexplainable; how he met and fell for a rent-boy.

"How I met Steven… it is not something I make a habit of doing, Ted. I appreciate how sordid it seems but I don't regret it. He, uh… he makes me happy."

He fucking said it. To someone. Out loud. It felt like a confession.

It felt like relief.

He was surprised when Ted smiled. "Relax Brendan. I'm not going to tell anyone."

"You're not?" Brendan asked.

"I understand your predicament. When I first I developed feelings for Victoria we kept our relationship quiet. She was not who my parents would have intended for me. When we finally officially announced our engagement we received an inordinate number of negative comments. Friends and family were concerned that she was too young and not of the right social standing. She was opinionated too. I liked that. My heart wanted Victoria just like yours wants Caden."

Ted's smile was genuine.

"Steven." Brendan corrected.

"Yes. That name will take some getting used to." Ted said. "Clever move to have him use a different name when you are out of work. Very clever. A good way to keep the secret going."

Brendan nodded.

Wait, huh?

Is that why Ted had assumed Ste went by the name of Caden? Did this mean Ted didn't know about Ste's old job?

Did the old man think that Brendan's cloak-and-daggering was all in the name of hiding an affair between employee and boss?

Brendan didn't know whether to be relieved or annoyed.

"So did you meet Steven before or after he started working at _Clover Corp_?" Ted asked.

"Before. Why?"

"People may assume that you helped him secure a job at the company."

"I had no idea he was applying. He was offered it on merit alone."

Ted was serious. "I don't need to tell you that having an intimate relationship with a junior employee is far from ideal. It won't remain a secret forever. These things have a habit of revealing themselves at inconvenient moments and when they do be prepared for a backlash."

"We are both aware of that." Brendan replied.

Ted gingerly lean forward to emphasise his meaning.

"But are you, really? Because the reality is that Steven will get it worse than you. He will be vilified by some of his co-workers as a scheming little social climber. That's what happens when jealousy, betrayal and ignorance are involved. All they'll see is a lying secretive co-worker marrying into money."

Brendan felt a squeeze of panic.

"And what about the press. The _Chester Gazette_ will have a field day. Front page headline- 'Chester's richest businessman finds love with his young male employee'. They'll dig up as much sordid detail about you two as they can to sell the story. Your business might suffer. Investors may run for the hills."

"They'd come running back." Brendan said but his voice faltered.

"Probably but would your boyfriend? You could lose him."

Brendan frowned. Why would he lose Steven?

"Even a strong relationship can struggle to survive a media storm."

Ted suddenly broke out in a smile. "Ah! The food!"

The waiter placed the plates down, 'Enjoy, gentlemen' and left.

Brendan had lost his appetite.

Ted took one look at Brendan's ashen face and said, "I'm sorry to be the bearer of truth but I wouldn't be a friend if I wasn't frank with you."

"And I appreciate that." Brendan said.

"There is one thing you could do that gives you the best chance of keeping a healthy relationship and a fruitful business." Ted said as he sliced into his rare steak with the ease of cutting into warm butter.

"What's that?"

"Separate business from pleasure." Ted paused for effect. "Fire Steven from _Clover Corp_."

Brendan's eyes widened.

"Trust me. He'll understand." Ted said.

"He won't-"

"Hello, Brendan."

Brendan whipped his head round to find Walker drawing to a stop by his table with a smile on his still bruised but far less swollen face.

Such unwelcome company.

Such bad timing.

What the fuck was he doing here?

"Simon." Ted stood up to give Brendan ex-associate a handshake. "Long time no see."

Brendan stayed sitting. His hands balled up into fists on the table.

That and staying stock still were the only ways he could guarantee that he wouldn't deck the man.

"What's happened to your face?" Ted asked with concern.

"Fell off my motorcycle on Sunday." Walker said without a beat. "It looks worse than it is."

Here was a man who knew how to lie convincingly.

Walker said. "Isn't this a coincidence to find you here."

Brendan scowled. This was no coincidence. Walker must have tracked him down. He had probably worked with an insider at the company to find out where Brendan was.

"Yes and no. Brendan and I were just catching up. Why don't you join us?" Ted offered.

Walker took one look at Brendan's tense frame and said, "Thank you but I'm waiting for someone. Working lunch. Brendan, I was wondering whether we could catch up later?"

"I'm busy today."

"It won't take long and it's important."

Ted cottoned onto the tension between the two men.

"We dissolved our working relationship, Walker." Brendan was forced to say.

Ted couldn't mask his surprise.

"And I haven't forgotten. This is not about business. This is personal. Please, mate."

There was something in how Walker said that, that made Brendan look at his former colleague.

"You'll want to hear what I've got to tell you so shall we say six pm at my place?"

{~}

The day in Liverpool had been intense. Work, Ted, Walker and Steven all weighed heavily of Brendan's mind.

When the meetings came to an end in that temporary cabin on the building site Brendan sighed with relief. It was a shame that there was still one more stop to make in Liverpool before heading back to Chester.

He was at his destination at six on the dot.

"Come in." Walker said when he opened the door to his penthouse in a swanky housing complex in the heart of the city.

The place was a quintessential bachelor pad complete with an integrated home automation system.

"You left me with little choice."

Walker let him in and indicated for Brendan to take a seat.

"What do you have to say then?" Brendan said, standing straight, hands in pockets, ready to either leave or attack if Walker mis-stepped.

Walker said, "Ste's not with you?"

Brendan's reply came in the form of a glacial glare.

"Actually this is about him."

Brendan had figured that much out. "What about him?"

Walker walked to a cabinet and opened its top drawer. He showed Brendan the business card he was holding.

"Chester PD knocked on my door this morning. It's the first time I've had coppers show up looking for me in a long time."

Brendan maintained a poker face as he saw Sue Rollins's name on the piece of card.

"So?"

"She told me she had been brought in to investigate Ste's spiked drink."

Brendan stayed mute. Interesting. That was not the reason she had given him.

"She's been to see you already, hasn't she?"

"Yesterday."

"Thought so. Anyway, something didn't add up. The detective's presence in my apartment for one. They don't put detectives on these sorts of cases normally. She took another statement from me from that night and then asked me about the retreat."

"What did you tell her?"

"What we agreed over the phone. That I had recently started to see Ste. That we went to the retreat together but on the Saturday I thought things were getting a bit too heavy too quickly so I dumped him and I drove back home. And that on Sunday morning I took a ride on my motorbike to let off steam and fell off it."

"Good."

"She didn't believe me."

"How do you know?"

Walker shrugged. "I can tell when someone trusts me or not. So the detective must have told you about the hate mail. Did Ste tell you he was getting those letters?"

Brendan didn't say anything. He wasn't going to give Walker the satisfaction of knowing that this was yet another thing that Ste hadn't opened up to him about yet.

"No. Course he didn't." Walker nodded pensively. "I was shocked until I put two and two together."

"What did you come up with?"

"Four. I think the spiking and the letters are related."

"No shit, Sherlock. A word to the wise, leave the detective work to the experts. You've always suited the wrong side of the law better."

Walker smirked and continued his theorising. "The person the cops are looking for must have been at the restaurant on our first date."

That got Brendan's attention.

"Why do you say that? Did you see anything suspicious?"

"No. Not that I was paying attention. I was distracted by my date." Walker said in a way that made Brendan want to freshen up his wounds. "But a few of weeks ago I did. Ste organised a night out for us at your club in town."

"_LARGE_?"

Walker nodded. "Your fit PA was there and a few of Ste's mates. And there was his best mate's boyfriend. I told you about him at the retreat while you were imprinting your knuckles in my face. Sneaky skinny little fucker."

"Benji."

"Yeah. Him. He cornered me that night saying how he was chuffed that Ste had finally found a bloke. Then he said that I must be one of them men who's really secure in his own skin to date an ex-prossie. It hit me like freight train because Ste'd been acting like he'd taken a triple vow of chastity. So this Benji kid started telling me things that made me realise that Ste had been around the block… a few times. He listed off details about Ste's clients and what he had done for them. Stuff that Ste must have told him in confidence. Benji told me as if he was at confession.

"He told me that that you'd met him through his website and that he took you on because he had parted ways with one of his twelve regular clients. You were his replacement. His friends nicknamed you lot the _Dirty Dozen_."

It was one thing knowing about Steven's past. It was quite another hearing details about it.

"What is your point, Walker?"

"He told me that Steven would be fair game if I paid him enough. My point is that Benji was smear campaigning against his own friend."

Brendan laughed. "You don't honestly think that puny little eejit is responsible for the crimes, do you?"

"He has motive."

"What?"

"Jealousy. You should see how he is around his bloke. He's a fucking gay bunny boiler."

"He's a fucking student. A light weight." Brendan said but he had been equally disturbed by the history of art undergraduate.

"All I'm saying is that the kid is playing at something. He doesn't like Ste. It's all front and if I were you I'd tell your play thing to watch his back."

{~}

Brendan got back to his car and got into the driver's seat as quietly as possible.

He was exhausted.

None-the-less, Ste slowly came out of sleep as he lay slumped in the front passenger seat. He stretched, yawned then opened his eyes.

"Hi." Brendan said.

"Fell asleep." Ste mumbled with a smile as he rested back in the chair tiredly.

Brendan strapped himself in. "It's been a long fucking day."

"Yeah." Ste said. "Did you do what you needed to do?"

"Yep."

Brendan started the engine and pulled out into the road.

"Work never stops for the boss, ey." Ste said.

"No it doesn't."

Ste sighed as he looked out at the nice neighbourhood.

"Paul's giving Guy a ride back to Chester." He said.

"How did you manage to get out of going down with them again?" Brendan asked.

"I said that I was meeting up with a friend in town and that I'd catch a later train."

Brendan smiled.

Ste undid his seat belt and the safety alarm went off. Brendan was about to have a go until Ste leaned over to softly lay a kiss on his cheek then sat back in his seat.

"What was that for?" Brendan asked.

"Dunno. I felt like it. I'm glad that you and Ted are still friends."

Ted's words of advice along with Walker's busrt into Brendan's mind.

'_Fire him from Clover Corp.'_

'_If I were you I'd tell your play thing to watch his back.'_

Fuck.

"Yes. Me too." Brendan said.

By the time they got onto the motorway, Steven had fallen asleep again. Brendan instinctively reached out to put his hand on the lad's warm thigh to feel the firm flesh of muscles through his designer trousers.

His fingers curled over Ste's inner thigh. The lad sighed but didn't stir.

His hair had grown out of his buzz cut. It needed new direction. His mouth was open and softly snoring. His lashes cast a shadow on his high cheek bones. His glasses were slightly off perch on his nose. His head was wedged between window and head rest, his hands folded loosely on his stomach. His chest rose and fell and his gangly legs were parted so that he appeared to be presenting the swell of his crotch in his slumber.

Brendan felt at peace in his car, during that journey down the motorway.

Between the walls of the vehicle the world was in perfect balance.

Here it was just him, Steven and a bit of soulful music.

Out there was a world full of shit and hard decisions to be made.


	31. Mercedes

_**Dear all,**_

_**Love ya for the comments... Here's the next chapter... **_

_**I think that's all I've got to say : ) !**_

_**Hugs,**_

_**Chips xxx**_

_**Actually, no. One more thing. **_

_**I have been listening to quite a lot of Motown while writing this (inspiration or something). Anyway, my point is, it really is an awesome genre of old school music (especially if you are into mellow and sappy stuff) so if you haven't yet jumped onto that band wagon I would totally recommend the following artists to get started; 1) Gladys Knight and the Pips and 2) Otis Redding.**_

_**Songs referenced in this chapter *check them out on youtube***_

_**Otis redding- Cigarettes and Coffee**_

_**Gladys Knight and the Pips- Love Finds It's Own Way**_

_**Gladys Knight and the Pips- You're the Best Thing That Ever Happened to me**_

_**{~}**_

Brendan felt at peace in his car during that journey down the motorway. Between the walls of the vehicle the world was in perfect balance.

Here it was just him, Steven and a bit of soulful music.

Out there was a world full of shit and hard decisions to be made.

{~}

Ste felt a poke in his side. He slowly opened his eyes. He was in Brendan's SUV. It was stationary but the engine was purring. He looked out. It was dark but he could make out a front lawn and a car parked in the driveway next to them.

His front lawn. His car. His driveway.

He was home.

"Welcome back to the land of the living." Brendan said to him.

Ste sat bolt upright, totally awake in a flash.

"I'm home." He said in surprised realisation.

Then he panicked.

"Yeah." Brendan said as he killed the engine and turned off the satnav. He had a look through the tinted windows of the SUV at the quiet cul-de-sac.

"Nice neighbourhood."

Distinctly middle class. Medium sized semi-detached and detached houses. Well-kept front yards. Nice, relatively new cars except Steven's old banger.

This area was well outside of Ste and Amy's budget were it not for their joint income, their extreme thriftiness, his previous profession and the extra cash he got from the rebranding job in his current job. Even then at various times over the last few months they had struggled to make ends meet.

"Shit, Brendan!" Ste said face scrunched up in anger. "Shit! You were supposed to drive us to your place so I could get a cab back to mine!"

Brendan sat back in his seat calmly. "Yeah, because that made sense."

Ste frowned at the tone of sarcasm.

Brendan placed a hand on Ste's knee that the lad looked down at with scepticism.

"You were sleeping." Brendan rationalised. "And I didn't want to wake you up."

His hand slid up Ste's thigh.

That took the hostility off the lad's face but he still had a moan.

"Phil lives next door. What if he sees your car?"

Brendan had hoped for a reaction more like,

"Thank you, Brendan," followed by some tactile gratitude...

Instead Steven was looking at him impatiently.

"He's not in. I called his house to make sure. His wife answered. He's at a party in town."

"A party? Phil? As if."

Brendan smiled at how the lad's Manchester accent came out when saying that.

_Pah-eh_.

"When did you make the call then? I didn't hear you."

"While you were sleeping through some classic Otis. Cigarettes, coffee and Steven's snores."

Ste smiled at the dig and the song reference then scowled at the dangerous game the CEO was playing. The longer they hovered outside his home the more likely they were going to get discovered.

He took Brendan's hand off his thigh to hold it in his.

"I should go in and you should go." He whispered.

"Yeah." Brendan undid his seat belt.

"So I'll see you tomorrow then."

"You, me and Swift."

Ste smiled at the note of jealousy he detected in Brendan's voice.

"And the rest of the rebranding team." He said. "It won't just be the three of us."

"What a shame. I love that guy." Brendan said sarcastically.

"He's really nice once you get to know him, Brendan."

Brendan did not care if Noah had won a 'world's nicest man' competition, he was never going to like the advertising mogul and he certainly was never going to be happy about Noah's budding friendship with Steven.

Brendan said gruffly. "As long as the proofs look good tomorrow, I have no problem with Swift."

"They will be." Ste shuffled in his seat to face Brendan and gave him a cocky grin. "Because I've been there to make sure."

Brendan leaned closer to him.

"Look at you. All confident."

He curled a finger into the collar of Steven's shirt to pull the lad closer to him until their lips were millimetres apart.

Ste felt his heart beat kick up a notch. It was the growl in Brendan's voice. The gravelly tone and the promise it held. Such a turn on.

"That's because my boss says I'm really good at my job." Ste whispered. "He's made me big headed."

Brendan pecked his lips softly.

"You aren't. He's being honest with you."

Was it silly that an innocuous kiss and a compliment like that from Brendan got Ste going? Ste's lips tingled. They didn't want to part from Brendan's.

So he kissed him. Again and again. Light touches that got him off his chair and leaning over the gearbox to get to Brendan. His arms draped over Brendan's shoulders and each kiss lasted longer and longer and pressed soft skin on skin until he went for tongue and Brendan pulled back to look at him with amusement.

"What happened to goodnight and goodbye?" The Irishman whispered.

"I want to do this first." Ste answered heatedly as he held Brendan's face between his hands and smiled. Then he kissed Brendan passionately.

They negotiated round the hard edges of the car to get next to each other.

"I prefer this car to your other one." Ste whispered as he clung onto the bigger man.

There was a practical reason for his preference. The Mercedes SUV GL-class was more spacious than the CL-class that Brendan sometimes drove. It made their impromptu make out session more comfortable. Plus Ste was bendy, malleable, beautifully flexible. Brendan knew to take advantage of that as the lad climbed over to sit on his lap.

"Which of my other ones?" Brendan said softly against Ste's lips.

"God!" Ste laughed seductively as he ran his hands over the man's back. "You do know that there are starving children in the world."

"Are you saying they'd fancy one of my cars?" Brendan murmured into Ste's neck then kissed him unhurriedly there, then bit him lightly before capturing his lips again.

They could discuss the injustice of economic inequality another day.

The air around them warmed with their body heat as they touched, held, pulled and caressed. This was hot but someone had to be sensible…

Brendan gently pushed Steven away with all the will power he possessed, before this turned into an X-rated scene with no return.

"Goodnight, Steven." He whispered then licked the lad's open waiting mouth.

Then he pushed Ste's clothes down that had been shoved up to expose skin and lifted the lad off him and back onto his seat.

_What the fuck?!_ Ste thought as Brendan leaned over him to open the passenger door and indicated for the lad to get out.

"I'll see you tomorrow." The CEO said.

Ste gave Brendan an incredulous look before getting out and closing the door. There was nothing worse than being left in limbo when horny.

Brendan wound the window down.

An idea had come to him. An idea that required him to lie to Steven. A small white lie that Brendan decided could be justified as a means to an end.

"Hey, I was thinking we could do a meal dinner thing with your friends one day."

Ste went from horny to baffled. "A meal dinner thing?"

"Yeah. At a restaurant or at mine. Invite Amy and Douglas." Then as if it were an afterthought, even though it was anything but, Brendan added, "He could bring his boyfriend along."

"Benji?"

"Does he have any others?"

Ste grinned as he leaned into the car. "No! Are you being serious? You want to hang out with my mates?"

The lad was positively giddy. Brendan suppressed the guilt he felt. His deception was about ensuring Steven's safety. The honest truth was that the invitation had nothing to do with gelling with Steven's friends and everything to do with trying to get a handle on what Benji was all about.

"You told me that I need to meet Amy some time." Brendan said drily and put on a pained expression. "May as well rip the band aid off sooner rather than later."

"Oi! She's not like some band aid!" Ste laughed. "Eya, is it okay if she brings Lee along?"

"Who's Lee?"

"Her boyfriend."

"If she must." Brendan mumbled.

Steven was smiling. "It'll be like a triple date!"

_God help me_. Brendan thought.

"You'll love her." Ste gushed excitedly. "And I know that she'll love you like I do." Ste chewed his lip as he heard his own words back. "I mean, like you. She'll like you lots."

He went red and Brendan felt a beautiful arrow strike him in the chest.

{~}

Ste got to _Lionel and Swift_ earlier than Brendan did the next day. It was on purpose. He wanted to pre-empt the awkwardness that was inevitably going to happen when his two ex-clients came face to face in his presence. He got flutters in his stomach just thinking about it.

The ad man was perched on the edge of his desk, inches from Ste who was sitting in a chair next to him.

He had just finished giving Noah the heads up on how to behave around Brendan before the _Clover Corp_ CEO arrived.

"So what you're saying is that I can't smile too much because then he'll think I'm being smug. I can't scowl because then he'll think I'm being a dick. I can't look like the stud or sound like the intellectual that I am because then he'll feel intimidated." Noah smiled. "I can't speak to him or look him directly in the eye because he'll feel threatened. Anything else?"

Ste smiled back anxiously. "I'm just nervous. Sorry. This is my career and my life and this is going to be awkward. You know?"

"It's only going to be awkward if we make it awkward. Don't stress. Brady'll have nothing to complain about after today."

Ste nodded but he still looked worried.

"Unless these nerves of yours have nothing to do with work and everything to do with you not wanting to mess things up with him." Noah said knowingly.

"Like how?"

"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. Brendan. I am going to guess he made it up to the retreat in the end."

"How do you know?"

"I popped into _Clover Corp_ for a visit last Friday and gave him a pep talk. Did it work?"

"You went to see Brendan last week?" Ste said incredulously.

Why would Noah do that?

"He looked just as thrilled by my presence as you seem now." Noah said.

"Why did you go to see him?"

"To give him an earful over what a shit he had been with you but then I realised that I was dealing with a jealous guy. He can't stand that you and I were intimate. That's why he kicked off with you on the phone." Noah said, "He cares about you."

Ste failed at hiding a smile.

"So I told him that he shouldn't see me as a threat. That you and I are platonic now."

"Thank you." Ste said gratefully.

"I take it he drove up to Scotland?" Noah guessed. "And said nice things to you."

"Yeah." Ste recalled Brendan's declaration of love.

"And did naughty things to your body..."

"Noah! You always have to lower the tone!" Ste exclaimed.

The ad executive smiled as he sat back in his chair. "Never fancied myself a matchmaker but if the glove fits!"

"I'd stick with your day job, right."

"So are you two official now?"

"I don't know." Ste said honestly. "Maybe. Like, I want us to be exclusive and I think he does too. But we are taking it slow. We aren't announcing nothing to no one until we see how things go."

Noah raised an eyebrow. "A secret office fling. Boss and employee. Didn't we role-play that once or twice?"

"Noah." Ste warned.

"What?" Noah said, all innocence. "Just reminiscing. Give me a second."

He adopted a faraway look that Ste broke by throwing a pen at him. "Stop it!"

They smiled at each other.

"So where is everyone else?" Ste asked referring to the rest of the team.

"I have moved them onto another project since we are pretty much done with this one." Noah tapped the side of his nose with a finger and lowered his voice. "Top secret."

Ste was intrigued. "Give us a hint then."

"All I am going to say is four words. National. Campaign. DOH. Suicide." Noah said then placed a hand over his lips as if silencing himself.

Ste said. "DOH? That's the Department of Health."

"Yes."

"I don't get it."

"That's the idea. I can't tell you the details." Noah went all sombre. "By the way, your detective came to see me at the beginning of the week."

Ste blushed. "Sue?"

"Yep."

"About the letters."

"Yes. That woman has a way to make a man feel guilty even when he is innocent."

"I'm sorry. I was going to warn you."

"It's fine. I had nothing to hide. How are you holding up with it all?"

Noah pressed a comforting hand on Ste's shoulder.

The knock on the door interrupted them and Brendan walked in.

He looked between Noah and Ste and the hand on the shoulder and frowned.

Noah was slow to remove his hand which pissed Ste off. He did not need Brendan to have further reason to worry about him and Noah spending time alone together.

"Hello, Brendan." Noah said with an open welcoming aura.

"Am I late?" Brendan asked.

"No." Noah said. "Ste and I were just filling time."

Both he and Ste stood up and Noah shook Brendan's hand before sitting in his chair behind his desk.

"Please take a seat." He told Brendan.

"Mr Brady." Ste said, all professional.

"Steven." Brendan replied, just as seriously as he sat down. He addressed Noah. "Anything interesting?"

"Excuse me?"

"You said you and Steven were filling time while waiting for me."

Noah smiled knowingly at Brendan's jealous tone.

"No." He said bluntly. "Just friendly chat. Catching up on the good ol' days."

Ste gave him a sharp look that said '_quit stirring'_.

"Noah and I have the final proofs for the rebrand to show you." He said to get their talk onto matters of business.

"Where is the rest of the team?" Brendan asked.

"It's just the three of us today. Is that going to be a problem?" Noah asked.

"No." Brendan said. "This is perfect."

"So as I was saying, Noah and I have final proofs for the rebrand to show you, Mr Brady."

"Brendan." Brendan said firmly. "I told you, Steven. I want you to call me Brendan."

He was not going to have Steven address him formally, given their relationship, when the lad seemed happy to use Noah's first name.

"Mr Brady is fine." Ste said tightly. "At work."

The silence that followed was tense.

Noah finally broke it with a sardonic, "Well, this isn't awkward at all. If you don't mind could we leave the domestic for later and concentrate on business… love birds?"

He smiled broadly when both Brendan and Ste gave him death stares.

{~}

Ste caught up with Doug and Benji at the _Coffee Hut_ at the end of the day once the shop was closed and the young men were shutting it down. Benji was industriously cleaning all the surfaces.

Doug barrelled towards Ste and pulled him into a tight hug that Ste returned until he had to laugh and extricate himself out of Doug's strong hold.

"You alright?" He asked in amusement.

"Yeah."

"What was that for then?"

"Oh nothing." Doug said. "Just felt like giving my best buddy a hug and telling him that I love him. I love you, man."

Ste felt a little awkward especially in front of Benji so he pulled away from contact with his mate.

"Thanks. Love ya too."

"So how has your first week been dating the boss for real?" Doug asked.

"There's still Friday to go but so far it's been well weird. The secrecy is hard." Ste admitted to his friends.

"When are you planning to publically come out with the relationship?" Benji asked.

"Dunno. Not yet, though. It's too soon." Ste said. He turned to his best friend. "Can I ask you for a bit of advice?"

"Shoot." Doug said.

"I think Brendan were lying about not being in a serious relationship with someone before."

"What makes you say that?" Doug asked.

"Guy told me that he were going out with some guy for years. They lived together apparently."

"No shit." Doug's eyes widened but he had the decency to refrain from saying, 'told ya your boyfriend was shady!'

"Do you know any more than that?" Benji asked curiously.

Ste shook his head but then a memory came to him. "I think the ex's name is Vinnie. I have a feeling he was the one to do the dumping because Brendan's sister asked her brother about how he was coping like Brendan might fall to pieces because things were over between him and Vinnie."

"Why would he hide the fact that he got dumped by an ex?" Doug said. "Who hasn't been dumped at some stage in their lives?"

"I dunno." Ste said. "Am I making too big of a deal out of it? I mean, so what if he has dated before, right?"

"That's not the point. He lied to you. That's messed up." Benji said.

"That is what I was thinking." Ste agreed.

"Hold on, people." Doug said. "If you want my advice, Ste, I think before you tear him a new one you owe it to him to hear him out."

"You've changed your tune." Ste said. "I thought you'd be the first to say I'm better rid."

"I've met him now. I can tell he cares about you so he probably has a good reason for not telling you the truth right away just like you have a reason for keeping him in the dark about what's going on with you and the letters."

Doug looked at Ste meaningfully.

Ste took a deep breath.

Doug was right. He couldn't use double standards.

"… Or just wait. He may volunteer the information without asking." Doug said. "You can't expect to know everything about him straight away."

That seemed like a sensible option.

Wait and see.

"As long as you feel that he is worth the wait." Doug added.

Ste didn't even deign that with an answer. Of course he thought Brendan was worth it.

"I had a meeting with him and Noah about the rebrand today." Ste said. "We finally closed on it."

"That's great news, Ste. Congratulations." Benji said.

"Well done, buddy." Doug said. "Oh wait, snap! How were they with each other? Your two hottest former clients in one room."

"How do you think?" Ste said and shuddered. "It became a pissing contest."

Doug gave his friend a wry grin. "Let me guess; grown men, who should know better, beating their chests and comparing dick sizes."

Ste winced. "I don't think they'll ever be friends."

Doug said. "It's because they're both into you."

"Noah isn't into me."

Benji stopped his cleaning to walk up to Doug and wrap an arm around his waist. "Doug thinks he is. I hope so because that lowers my baby's chances of ticking Noah off his sex wish list from slim to none."

Ste said. "What sex wish list?"

Doug shrugged nonchalantly. "Benji and I were messing about one day and came up with a list of guys we would want to sleep with if we ever got the chance."

"Five guys that we have given each other permission to sleep with if the opportunity ever arose." Benji added, squeezing Doug tighter in his arms.

"Really?" Ste said. "People do that?"

Doug smiled. "You should make a list with Brendan. It's kind of hot."

"But I don't want us to sleep with anyone else."

Benji said. "That's kind of the point. It's a fantasy. It's never going to happen."

"Isn't it?" Doug said cheekily with a raised eyebrow.

"Behave." Benji retorted.

"So Noah is on the top of your list?" Ste asked.

"Yep." Doug said without hesitation.

"Mine's Paul." Benji said as he gave Doug a gentle kiss on the cheek.

Doug shrugged. "Who would your dream fuck be?"

"Brendan." Ste said.

Doug laughed. "That's cute but you obviously don't get the point of the list."

Ste said. "So anyway, before I forget I wanted to invite you guys to Brendan's place for supper."

"Really?" Benji said.

Ste smiled. "Yep. He wants to get to know you and Amy."

"That's really sweet of him." Benji said.

"I thought I'd scared him off after last time." Doug commented. "So when is it?"

"Don't know yet but I'll keep you posted." Ste gave them both a hug. "Right, I've got to go. I feel like I have barely seen me kids in a week."

{~}

Amy hugged Ste even tighter than Doug had when he got home and walked into the kitchen where she was preparing their supper.

Ste got suspicious.

"What's with the intense hugs?" He narrowed his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Amy said.

"Doug nearly smothered me to death when I saw him earlier."

"It's nothing." Amy said quickly.

"Amy."

"Okay. Fine. But don't tell Doug I told you because he doesn't want to panic you."

That made Ste panic.

Amy checked on her food then turned her attention to him.

"Where are the kids?" He asked.

"Lucas was being naughty so I sent him to his room for a time out and Leah is doing homework."

Ste smiled. "What did your son do?"

"_Your_ son has been acting up and not listening to me. He's pushed my buttons non-stop since getting back from nursery today. You can go get them when the food's ready." Amy said, in disciplinarian mother mode.

"Okay. So back to the hugs."

"Yeah. Both Doug and me got visits from Detective Rollins this afternoon."

Ste had not anticipated that news. The detective had clearly been very busy. "What did she want?"

"She asked us about whether we knew who might be behind what's happening to you. I think this whole thing is so much more serious than we thought, Ste. They have a detective on the case now."

"I think it's just because she feels sorry for me after the whole Caden thing."

"That is not the way the police work. She's on the case because it is big."

That made Ste shudder but he put a brave face on. "I don't know. I've been getting mail for ages and nothing's happened."

"You got spiked. You could have died."

Ste shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it. There is nothing I can do so there's no point getting worried."

Amy said. "That is exactly why Doug said we shouldn't stress you out about it."

"Look. I can't even build up the energy to get scared anymore. It's always the same written threats and taunts, Ames. I'm tired of it. I can't keep worrying about your safety and the kids and Doug. I can't keep watching my own back and taking taxis everywhere and living in fear like this."

Amy briefly stirred the stew on the cooker. Ste noticed how her hands were shaking. It wasn't just him who had been frightened all these months. His nearest and dearest were too. Amy and Doug.

"Hopefully it will all stop soon." He said gently and took Amy's hand in his.

Amy sombrely picked up a tan envelope that was sitting on the side of the cooker. Ste knew it was more malicious mail without opening it.

He took it and pocketed it.

"Hopefully." She said.

{~}

The dinner at Brendan's didn't happen. Not yet anyway.

Ste had other priorities, namely his son.

Lucas's misbehaviour had actually heralded the beginning of yet another ear infection. His gristliness, mood, and inability to follow his parents' commands had been the result of ears full of fluid and pus.

Again a trip to the doctor's was followed by an examination, a note of reassurance and a prescription of pain relief until he got better again.

Ste was getting increasingly worried about the recurrent nature of his son's condition but as the doctor predicted Lucas got better.

That meant that Ste was able to get himself into a routine.

The average work day started with him dropping his kids off at school. Then he would drive to work. There he would work solidly and diligently until lunch when food would 'mysteriously' be delivered to his office courtesy of Brendan despite the Mancunian's protestations.

'Where am I going to tell Guy I got the sushi from?' He asked Brendan one day.

'Be thankful that I'm not asking you to strip so that I can eat it off you.' He replied.

At the end of the day Brendan and he would make their separate ways to either the CEO's home or some exclusive bar or restaurant that Ste knew they would never get caught in because no one he knew could afford the prices. Then he would go home in time to play with the kids and catch up with Amy. The day would either end with staying home with them, meeting up with Doug and Benji or seeing Brendan again.

It was a gruelling schedule but worth it to stay close to the people he cared about most in his life.

Ste couldn't have been any happier.

He enjoyed going to work at _Clover Corp_ now. He didn't feel the heaviness on his shoulders that he had carried for months when he had felt forced to avoid Brendan because they were stuck in that limbo state between sex-worker/client and boss/employee. Now he and the Irishman were together in life but divided at work. The separation of work and play was a good thing as far as Ste was concerned especially now that his work on the rebranding job was complete.

Today he planned to stay back later than he normally did. He had warned Amy in advance. He wasn't going home tonight. He was staying over at Brendan's after they had both done some late night work at the office.

With Guy long gone Ste had nothing to distract him from working like a fiend. Not even the thought of Brendan a floor above him curbed his concentration.

He took a break only when he could no longer ignore the call of nature.

As he walked through the corridors of _Clover Corp_ he realised that he was probably the only person still at work on his floor. His footsteps echoed in a way they didn't seem to when the building was populated. In fact the structure seemed to 'talk' with the hum of unused office machinery, the wail of the plumbing system and the flicker of the neon lights.

Ste whistled tunelessly to drown out the creepy sounds.

He entered the toilets and took a leak. He was in two minds about stopping working now. He could very easily go up to Brendan's office and tell him that he was ready to leave. The CEO would almost certainly not mind.

He washed and dried his hands and decided that, actually, it was far better to get his work over and done with before having fun so he made his way back to his office.

The dulcet tones of Gladys Knight's singing voice reached his ears as a low murmur at first. When he got closer to his office the song that was playing got clearer and louder.

Ste recognised the track and stopped in his tracks.

This song was on Brendan's favourite album of the moment. The Irishman had been playing it constantly in his car since their first date because it had been the background record on_ nantaimori_ night.

And this particular song was one of Ste's favourites.

He grinned.

Brendan had come down to see and surprise him.

Ste picked up the pace and entered the office.

Brendan wasn't there. The music was playing from Ste's computer.

He looked out of the door and around for his other half.

"Brendan?"

He got no reply. He went back into the office and ejected the CD. It was definitely Brendan's.

He looked at his computer monitor. All his work had been minimized and replaced by a word document that said,

_Come up._

Ste smiled. What was Brendan playing at? Whatever it was, it was kind of sweet.

Ste quickly packed his bag, saved his work and shut down his computer. He could finish work some other day. He wanted to see Brendan now.

He made his way up the stairs to the CEO's offices and texted as he went along.

Ste-

_Coming… but don't scare me. I hate surprises!_

He swiped his way into the Irishman's inner sanctum, walked past Paul's empty desk and into Brendan's office.

His smile fell off his face once he got in.

{~}

Brendan both loved and hated Steven's work ethic. The lad had basically told him that he wasn't planning to leave work until at least 19.30 because, quote,

'_I have a shit load of work to do, yeah._'

Brendan wasn't going to leave him in _Clover Corp_ virtually alone so he offered to stay back in order for them to head off together once Steven was done. And here the CEO thought he was the hard working one. Yet, with Steven in his life, his priorities were changing. If only Steven could modify his too.

His office phone rang at a quarter past seven. He was surprised. Who was trying to contact him on his work line at this time of day?

"Brendan Brady." He said.

"Good evening, Mr Brady. This is security. I am sorry to disturb you but it would seem that your car has been vandalised."

"Could you repeat that?"

"Your car, sir. I'm afraid someone has deliberately damaged it. It was discovered a few minutes ago by one of the officers patrolling the car park when he heard the alarm go off. The tires are flat and one of the windows has been smashed in."

Brendan stood up. In all the years that he had parked in the company car park he had never had so much as a scratch on any of his cars.

"My car?"

"Yes, sir."

"Has anything been taken?"

"I don't know. What would you like us to do?"

"I'm coming down." Brendan said in annoyance. He did not need this shit. "Make sure that one of you lot is by the car when I get there."

"Yes sir."

He made his way out of the building.

A slight chill ran up his spine as he walked through the grey concrete of the deserted car park. The drains poked fun at his usual cool demeanour as he passed over them and through the empty bays. They forced him to keep looking up at the grey pillars and the shadows they cast on the ground.

"Good evening, sir." The security officer said over the sound of the alarming car as he stood next to it.

Brendan pressed a button on his car keys to silence the noise.

"It looks like they slashed your tires." The guard pointed at the evidence.

"Did you see anything suspicious?" Brendan asked as he quickly assessed the external damage. The driver's window was in splintered bits on the floor.

"No. But we have CCTV so we should be able to playback what happened."

Brendan opened the car door through the broken window.

"I wouldn't to that, Mr Brady. You should call the police and get forensics to check the vehicle over before you touch anything."

Brendan gave him a withering look, got into the car and started the engine. He opened the glove box and rummaged through the car doors' interior storage compartments to see if anything was missing.

"It's probably kids trying to steal valuables." The security guard said.

Brendan picked up a case of his sunglasses that was in one of the compartments.

"Then why are these still here?"

He shook the case to demonstrate that it still contained his expensive shades. This was the kind of thing ASBO kids went for and yet they had been left untouched.

Nothing had been stolen.

"They probably got scared off by the alarm."

"Hang on." Brendan lifted a hand to get silence. Something wasn't right apart from the obvious.

"What?" The security guard whispered.

Silence.

It was the silence.

Brendan's car was never silent.

He looked at his music system. It was inbuilt so it couldn't be nicked and yet his music wasn't playing. That was unusual.

On his way to work this morning he had been listening to the Gladys Knight album that he had grown to like; that Ste was fond of. It automatically kicked in the minute he turned the ignition as all his CDs did and yet it hadn't just now when he had started his car.

He pressed eject on the CD player but its monitor flashed saying that it was empty.

He looked on the floor of the car searching for the CD.

"Can you see a CD anywhere?" He asked the guard.

The man looked around the car then shook his head. "No. Why?"

Brendan's phone beeped in an incoming message.

Steven-

_Coming… but don't scare me. I hate surprises!_

He frowned at the nonsensical message.

"Sir. I really think we should report this."

Brendan-

_What surprise?_

Steven-

_You are such a tease : ) I had to stop the record in my office in case anyone else was still around as much as I love me some Gladys. Where are you? I'm in your office like you wanted xxx_

Brendan had never ever in his life felt like the world was crashing down around him as much as he did right then.

His heart felt like it literally stopped in his chest. His lungs felt like they had been completely emptied of air.

This here- this break in of his car- was a decoy.

Steven was in the building on his own, lured to Brendan's offices under false pretences by someone.

By …

The CEO broke out into a sprint and tore through the car park as fast as his legs could carry him back to the building. For the first time in all his years using the car park he was completely oblivious to the drains that he ran over.

"Mr Brady?!" The security guard shouted after him. After a moment of dithering the man ran after his employer.

{~}

Ste-

_You are such a tease : ) I had to stop the record in my office in case anyone else was still around as much as I love me some Gladys. Where are you? I'm in your office like you wanted xxx_

Once he sent the message Ste took a seat at Brendan's desk, in the big man's seat.

He put his phone and bag down and looked around at the vast room. For a moment he imagined himself as boss; head of a huge successful empire like his boyf-… like Brendan was.

Powerful.

Respected.

Self-sufficient.

Ste was ambitious. He didn't need riches but he did want to be the best man he could be. He closed his eyes to envision what that might be like.

He smiled when it popped into his mind. He pictured his children looking up to their father, his friends no longer fearing for their friend, his parent's loving him and his late grandfather being dead proud of the man Ste had become.

He opened his eyes again.

Where the hell was Brendan?

This surprise was getting tired quickly. He picked up his phone ready to call the Irishman when the card-activated door clicked open.

Finally.

Maybe Brendan wanted a continuation of their baptism of the mahogany desk. Ste couldn't wait. He lightly stroked the surface of the wood just as a message came into his phone.

Brendan-

_Get out of there. NOW._

It took a second to make sense of what Brendan meant.

Ste heard footsteps approaching the door to the CEO's office. The rhythm was not Brendan's. The person on the other side of the door was not Brendan.

Fear gripped him instantly.

He was paralyzed by it. He couldn't move as he heard whoever it was walking toward the office door.

After a moment, thankfully, his instinct to survive kicked in. He looked around for a place to hide.

There was nowhere. Open plan minimalist rooms did not make good hiding places so he quickly picked up Brendan's letter opener and his own belongings and dropped under the large desk just as the door opened.

He curled up into a ball with his bag and phone pressed tightly against his chest. His heart was beating so furiously that he was sure that anyone within a hundred yard radius would be able to hear it. He covered his mouth with one hand just in case he got the irrational compulsion to scream and held the letter opener in a dagger grip with the other.

His possible attacker was short meters away and Ste could hear his breathing, detect the living being, even though he or she seemed to have stopped moving just in front of the desk.

If Ste was found, and he was sure that he would be, all he could do was fight his assailant as hard as he could and hope for the best.

He heard the papers on Brendan's desk being pushed around above his head. All that separated him from the stranger was a thick layer of wood.

Ste felt hot tears slowly run down his cheek.

Shit. This could be it.

The end.

It was too soon.

Far too soon. Things were just starting to get good for him in life. It couldn't end now.

He readied himself for attack and prayed for the first time since he was a child.

His prayers weren't answered.

His phone started to ring.

It was loud in the otherwise deathly silent room, giving away his exact whereabouts to his would-be attacker.

The caller was Brendan.

Ste knew by the customised ringtone.

It was Gladys Knight's 'You're The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me.'

How ironic. The man who had warned him with a text, who had reawakened Ste's hope in love, was the same person who had now unwittingly delivered Ste to his assailant.


End file.
